PhoneCop

...and suddenly, there are more remaining players I find tolerable than not. It's been a while. Next to go, hopefully: Jeff's "British" accent. Noelle's "Anybody want a papaya?" gave the show its long-overdue equivalent of Big Brother's immortal "Anybody want cake?"

That's nice, but from any further than three feet away, I'd think they were McDonald's-themed. (Or In-n-Out.)

Yeah, of all the rumors that have been floated, I'm back to potentially believing production hated this season, what with the women being steadily Pagonged and the men mostly being unlikable. It's starting to feel like an uphill battle to a tolerable winner.

Endless marathon challenges that just recycle the same features, at that. How many of us tune out the challenges altogether now because they're just repetitive loops of swimming, digging, dragging, climbing, and puzzling? "And I dedicate Minute 38 to...my cat's proctologist! God bless you, Dr. Matorin, for the, uh, the removal."

Same. I don't remember another season where we were half a dozen episodes in and there were multiple teams I found to be complete ciphers. You could've told me it was Aubrey and David being DQed while Abby and Will were onscreen and I wouldn't have caught it. All of the teams who were unable to return after the COVID-induced shutdown last season left stronger impressions in a shorter amount of time. I can't help wondering if TPTB considered bringing back Linton and Sharik, but either Sharik declined or the crew was like "Oh hell no, not another leg with her."

If you hadn't said this, I would've—put the absolute worst-case scenario out there in hopes of jinxing it. Reverse psychology on the universe, LOL.

I still don't care about most of these people but I am enjoying the fun the editors are having with the chyrons this season. That list of who was holding what advantage was certainly handy.

Man, this leg would've been the death of me. I'd love to see Petra, but I don't do well in extreme heat and I suck at slide puzzles. Linton could've swept half the desert and still might've beat me to the mat. Phil would have to come do a field elimination, and all he'd find would be my bleached bones face down in the sand.

I still kind of wish Aastha and Nina had lasted longer, just because the only coed teams I really like are Derek/Claire and Glenda/Lumumba; everybody else is kind of an indistinct blur. I'm glad the two sibling pairs are shaping up to be contenders—hopefully they can thin the herd of hookless duos. Phil's snappy response to Sharik's chiseling question made my evening. Obviously it was a megaleg, but it's still awfully early for KF to be hitting people this hard. #freelinton

Can that ridiculous manchild last longer than ten seconds at anything? If I'm Taylor and I'm being approached by Amazing Race's people, I'd be trying to jettison Joseph and get cast with Michael instead. "Don't worry, Mikey—if there's a Roadblock or Detour involving untangling ropes, I'll take that one."

What about the summer's other dangler—are you Grandpa Nashville now?

The one and only! I suppose Jasmine's ass-wiping pales next to things like Jill's ghoulish funeral selfies, but context is everything.

...and so begins the weaning. I know I said earlier that I'm glad this wasn't another 97-day season (maybe those are a thing of the past, like Survivor isn't going back to 39 days), but it does make the ending seem more abrupt. After three months of checking this thread early every morning, the first week after a season always makes me feel like Wile E. Coyote when he's run past the edge of the cliff but gravity hasn't kicked in because he hasn't looked down yet. Oh well. At least I have Jill Rodrigues in the Duggars-adjacent thread for year-round trainwreck watching. Strange not to have @Nashville around at the end of all things, but I'm sure he had fun. Hopefully he still has his hearing.

Observation: Taylor is the third consecutive Black woman to win AFP, after Da'vonne and Tiffany. She wasn't the best strategist, she wasn't a comp beast, but her grace is something I can only aspire to. #taylorthesword

Oh, I think Kyle will be remembered for beating records as well. A record, anyway. And he'll probably hold it forever, because who would admit to clocking in at nine seconds?

This has been such an odd season. I can't remember another cast that was so entertainingly volatile yet individually unmemorable. Looking at the purported Top 5 for AFP again, of course Kyle and Joseph are up there, in a "This is the best of what we've got" way. I don't see many potential returnees in this lot. Whoever wins, though, it won't be a worse outcome than Boogie. Or Dick. As always, thanks to the feed watchers! And at least we don't have to go completely cold turkey this year, with Derex and Claire on Amazing Race. Hopefully I can hold my tongue around the Race fans who get snobby about BB (or as my friend and I jokingly call them, "Racists").

Open memo to Taylor: If you do win AFP, don't take any of the guys on the cruise. They don't deserve it. I suggest taking 160 lbs. of cargo instead.

Meh. I could've guessed that Top 5 just from process of elimination. Pre-jury? Forgotten and largely unlikable. Indy, Alyssa? Weren't even playing. Jasmine? Ridiculous. Terrance? Ew. Brittany? Crazy-eyed coattail rider. Monte? Boring. Boom, there's your five. #callmespoilerking

Heh. I forgot I'm registered on CBS.com under a pseudonym. Not a lot of middle-aged Asian guys named Kieran! We do have Kevin on lock, though, for some reason (also not my name). I still have a hard time seeing Joseph running away with the vote; I felt he had a relatively low-key edit and he went early jury, but I guess we'll see.

I know the feeds are dead boring right now and the scheduling of this final week was shitty planning (shocker!), but on the whole I'm really happy with these 80ish-day seasons after so many years of 90+ days. (Typical Grodner, it takes a global pandemic to improve her show.) Even a cast this volatile didn't need another two weeks of padding; I feel like I can't complain too much about the overall pacing prior to F4. For better or worse, Split House was the right kick in the ass at the right time, IMO. That said, I'm looking forward to the Great Annual Forgetting that begins with the return of Survivor. Usually by December I've gotten to the point of having to look up who was in the season that just ended. I'll for sure remember Taylor, Michael, and—bleh—Kyle, and maybe Jasmine and Turner on a good day. I'll probably need prompting to remember Monte, even if he wins (ZING!). Otherwise: "Wait, which Alyssa was in this cast? Obviously it wasn't Britney, but was it Brittany, Britini, or Other Brittany this year?"

BB production, royally screwing up?

Good for her, but I'd say even better for the jury. Homegirl needs to decompress in private.

"Strangelove" for me, followed by "People are People" and "Behind the Wheel." Monte and Taylor, please be smart about this and keep it under your hats, please please please. Everybody else, please continue being dumb, self-absorbed, and unperceptive about the obvious, please please please.

This thread's taken such a turn for the '80s... The longer Brittany stays in, the more I feel like I'm watching the butter slide off Sam's noodle again. Which is good for keeping the game in flux even at this late date, but I'm starting to wonder if—like Sam—she'll choose to disappear from the face of the planet and never speak to anyone once the show's over. She has that kind of vibe.

That's my third favorite, after "Save a Prayer" and "New Moon on Monday." But it's a tight race. The worst part is when people over a decade younger than you start complaining about how old they feel, LOL. ...get off our lawn. The good news for Alyssa: Brittany from Glee has her beat. The bad news: Brittany was a fictional character on a show with chronically problematic writing.