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PhoneCop

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  1. And because it’s 2020, I might actually welcome that outcome over several others.
  2. If Nicole was singing an Alanis song, my money's on "Uninvited."
  3. ...who am I kidding. Kevin's not even a Ben Chang, let alone an Annie Edison. At most, he's Garrett.
  4. Janelle + Rachel would've been an interesting pairing. If Janelle's the serene, regal queen of BB, Rachel's the batshit countess who still has an ultra-competitive streak and would be trying to stomp people in comps well into her second trimester (and quite possibly succeeding). I don't think I would've minded her lending her...particular brand of dynanism to this cast, not least to see if she can outcry Nicole and also to taunt Dani with OOEY, GOOEY CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES MADE WITH ANIMAL PRODUCTS. So I like clean-cut guys—as in, works at Disneyland c. 1960 clean-cut—and even I can tell that that's not an improvement. Most of us would simply ragequit the show and reclaim our summer. Then show up next year anyway, because we never actually learn. Kevin. Honey. The only reason David's not a sinking ship is that he's a weird little rowboat still in dry dock because it has one oar and a giant hole in the bottom.
  5. Cordova Luxe Villegas. Or maybe she'll continue the celestial theme and go with something like Andromeda. But dumber. That's the thing that kills me about Rachel. She's not stupid in terms of IQ, but her absolute need to be extra at all times somehow overrides her natural intelligence.
  6. She's a chemist, Monet. Rachel's BB win will always have a giant asterisk for me because Kalia and Porsche had her and Jordan dead to rights until Grodner fucked them over. But I place the blame for that entirely at Grodner's doorstep, not Rachel's. I wouldn't call myself a Rachel fan per se, but having seen her in multiple contexts over the years (thanks, CBS!), I don't think she's a bad person at all, just someone who has frequent struggles with adulting and choosing baby names.
  7. Shoot, I was enjoying the way this was turning into the Janelle Media Thread. Are we going back to discussing the feeds? [sigh] All right. If we must.
  8. Is he? Dammit, I must be conflating his backstory with someone else's. Mea culpa.
  9. I'm just gonna register my disappointment that the kitchen one's not named AntCam. Yeah, becoming the Columbian Richard Marx is a definite downgrade.
  10. The funny thing is that even in a scenario as extreme as the one I drew up, I don't think Janelle would have the numbers or means to make it to the end, short of comp-beasting it every week. However: For me, it'd be less about Janelle winning—which she plainly doesn't need or care about anyway—and more about getting Nicole to self-destruct, ideally with Dani and Cody's games as collateral damage*. Remove those three from the equation (and Kevin and David) and I could probably live with anybody else as a winner. Well, maybe not Christmas, but I could write that off as yet another 2020 expense. *Which pains me slightly to say, because I loved Dani 2.0 so much for going against the grain, but since 3.0 is clearly just 1.0 with a kid: girl, bye.
  11. Dream scenario: With Janelle out, Kaysar becomes less of a threat and the house prioritizes voting out David for being a loose end, Memphis for being a loose cannon, and Kevin just because. Instead of a Battle Back, America Votes gives Janey an Overwhelming Yes with 99% of the vote. She also gets two weeks of immunity and a +1 pass to the person of her choice. After Nicole's head stops exploding, Julie reveals that America also voted to dole out punishments to three houseguests, with Dani and Cody each getting 20% of the vote and Nicole the remaining 60%. Well, that's enough fanfic for one night. Dating Nicole would age anyone severely.
  12. I agree with you I kind of wish David was brought back for a Second Chances season. I am glad you put IMO, because IMO Natalie Anderson is not and never should be considered a genuinely likable or rootable finalists. I meant that Top Chef had really likable finalists in Melissa King, Bryan Voltaggio, and Stephanie Cmar, and that then coming over to CBS's all-stars shows is a total bringdown. Sorry, me and my confusing run-on sentences. I never got off the Tyler train and was never an Enzo fan...but at the rate things are going, I suspect in a few weeks' time I'll be fully Team Meow Meow with the rest of you. This fucking show, man. Never a Pandora's Box or a Reset Button when you need one.
  13. This is so brilliant. But I don't think of Ramses or Nicole A as great losses, and Alex was a strategic threat? I remember her being decently well-rounded at comps, and even though she was a giant asshole, I would've chosen her to come back over Christmas. Just because my sense was always that with Christmas, the assholishness is more baked-in. Catching up with the broadcast episodes, I really wish David had been saved for a Second Chances season, along with other pre-jury people like Jodi and Cameron who got dicked over by dumb pre-feeds twists and BB16's Brittany of that brutal soccer punishment. For that matter, it's such a 180 to come off a really enjoyable Top Chef All-Stars where we ended up with (IMO) three genuinely likable, rootable finalists to both this and Survivor's Winners at War, where all the beloved old-school legends get picked off by the less interesting new-schoolers and the season just sort of plods along without much in the way of real fireworks. I feel like they could throw in the Pressure Cooker and it'd still fall flat somehow.
  14. So much this. I don't know how I didn't ragequit this show after Grodner fucked them over so badly. And blatantly. IIRC, Kalia was the last African-American houseguest to make F5. I wonder how things would've played out if Grodner hadn't been so hellbent on getting a vet across the finish line.
  15. That's Janelle for you. Luring poor young girls in with her expensive makeup so she can torture them in her basement later, then vote out what remains. She's the Elizabeth Bathory of BB. /s
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