PhoneCop

Three decades later, maybe it’s not so much a rant as a weary litany. Like Sinéad said, how could we possibly know what we want when we're only 21? Especially when the age range was more like 18-22. Topic: I'm guessing Cory's either a 1 or a 3, but since he's straight, I'll never know.

Well, you know—21YO debate champs, they're a special breed, and your description covers all of them. Lousy/inexperienced in bed too, but that's a different rant. Just hoping HOHitis goes to Jared's head and draws a Hisam-size target on his back. Production can and will do all the rigging they want, but that didn't stop clown-shoeing or Paul-F2ing, so I try to live in cautious optimism.

Kinda glad we're back to the usual double episode format. With the strike ongoing, I wondered if they would drag the season into the fall, but this cast isn't fun enough to sustain my interest for an extra six weeks, LOL. I agree that this is probably what we're headed for. By now everybody else has gotten a more flawed edit, so I expect those will be the last four standing. And since we're down to the Top 9 with four remaining from the South, at least one of them's surely a goner next week. Most likely Reagan, who's been riding the middle all this time, or Sav will quietly fade away. Grant's bombed twice in a row, MD's had her moment to shine, so their arcs are mostly done; it's mainly a question of when Jennifer finally flames out.

I suppose if anyone pointed out to Blue she'd get more followers if she'd made jury, it'd only lead to more horky blanket time, not her kicking into gear. Too bad there's no chance of a buyback for the previous three evictees when any of them returning would shake things up more than Blue. Hopefully Cirie sticks to bouncing her; Jag may not be a great player, but at least he's trying.

Felicia really was cast strictly to be Cirie's shield, wasn't she? The Jessica Sierra to Cirie's Carrie Underwood. To be the older, softer target age-wise. To be Jared's fake mother when he inevitably slipped up. And to play the part of Denzel Washington's sister as needed.

Nah, you just hand everybody else an idol and wai...no, wrong show. Granted, I thought Cirie being eliminated in that fashion was as much bullshit as BB dropping her into this cast. CBS really needs a thorough review and overhaul of its game shows, LOL.

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The other day I found myself wondering what the game would be like if Luke were still in the house, if he hadn't uttered the slur and outed himself as a dipshit. I'm thinking not that different, though—he'd probably just be lumbering around in the background, barely talking to anyone, still trying to find first gear. Never change, BB Casting. Let's see, what's the most disappointing thing that could happen? After the initial shock and rage, Dr. Bedside Manner deflates like a balloon and lets death take him. So I'll go with Cory's prediction here.

I got Izzy. Well...better than what most people have been getting, anyway. It's still early days and I tend not to solidify my opinion of a cast this soon, but my fear is they'll end up a cross between 23 and 20, where the cast looks great on paper but then half of them form an alliance that's too dumb/inept to really ever have a chance. Which isn't to say FOUTTE wasn't entertaining in their own way, but yeah, predictable, nonstrategic game.

If he were a smarter player, I'd think that was his way of throwing off suspicion that he's Cirie's son. It's certainly making me question the idea.

That's why I prefer 89razorskate20's infographics—the visual overload is still a lot, especially when there are this many hamsters and alliances in play, but overall I find the information easier to parse and absorb when I'm looking at color-coded headshots instead of names in an elaborate cell diagram.

I know, it's so confusing. Thanks for nothing, America's parents! You could've at least pushed her to hold out for Survivor instead, her name wouldn't have been as befuddling in that context. I keep hoping she'll say friends call her Amy or something so we can use that instead. Or that she goes in the next couple of weeks, LOL.

I don't know if I see Grodner playing that kind of 3D chess. I think it's more of an Occam's Razor situation: trash show casts trash person who says trash thing because: trash, and trash producers boot him so they can say, "See? We're totally not trash."

Cynically, I'm thinking Luke made it easy for them since he's been such a nonstarter anyway. And if they cancel Week 1 noms, Kirsten with a second chance might be more interesting.

I JUST REMEMBERED 10-SECOND KYLE. It really does say something that Taylor rising above it all eclipses most of my memories of last season. That and Turner's Kilimanjaro quip. He may have been a spineless worm, but that was a good line.

Oh, no question. If I were in the house, here's how that would go. Me: Cirie, I love you more than Sandra, Parvati, or the last four Survivor casts combined, but that's why you gotta go. Cirie: I'm not the droid you're looking for. Me: Kirsten it is!

Is Cory Nothingberger circulating as a nickname yet?

Hard to say. Grodner will protect a veteran all the way to the win if that's what's on the agenda (q.v., Season 13), but I feel like she's been more hands-off lately. OTOH, the multiverse thing could cover a multitude of sins... IDK. Again, I'd rather Cirie not be there at all, especially if this cast proves to be like Season 23, where I came away without a strong dislike of anybody and the worst I can say about any of them is "Derek is a lazy, delusional fuck." But if it's a cast of predominantly garbage people like Seasons 19/21, then Team Fields all day, every day. Wait and see.

Oh dear oh dear oh dear oh dear. Cirie is arguably my favorite Survivor ever and I hate that her endgame got screwed not once but twice by the unexpected (the surprise F2 after several seasons of F3s and Idolgate). But dropping her into BB—why? Two Survivor relatives and this multiverse thing aren't gimmicky enough? Plus I was looking forward to seeing if Jared is a Jedi like Mom. And if not, let him flounder on his own. Buuuuuut since she's here, I'm torn. Do I want them to recognize her game and bounce her so she doesn't dominate the season? Or do I want her turning everybody else into a circular firing squad because it's fun watching her do that? I think it'll come down to whether I like this cast or not, not that the premiere gave me the slightest inkling, positive or negative, about any of them.

I love Cirie, but yeah, no, save her for the inevitable season where BB, Survivor, and Race do full cast swaps. Still enjoying the optimism of a fresh, interesting-looking cast, knowing that I'll hate several of them in a month and be bored to death in three. Also, the HoH bed has an angry face and I can't unsee it.

Yeah, Overwhelming No to that. I would enjoy seeing Britney as an embedded reporter in the house just so she can give us more fabulous DRs as she snarks on everybody else, but not as a factor in the actual gameplay. Throw in Frankie and that's a deal-breaker. Stop giving him oxygen, CBS! Let him be Ariana's problem alone.

IDK, I try to reserve judgment as much as I can. Pre-game press never gives me anything meaningful and initial impressions can be very off (I liked Ameerah those first couple of weeks, LOL). I really need to see them in the mix and fucking up—and how they get out of those fuck-ups, or don't—before I start choosing a side. I'll just enjoy my 24 hours of pre-season optimism while I can; they'll be crapping on it soon enough. ...that said, based on the EW clip, America's DRs are gonna be painful to listen to and I'm already biased toward Jared because #cirie4eva.

My new headcanon is that they're using this season to vet a new judging panel, with Wes Gordon in the designer slot and Paulina as the new Heidi. (I can dream, although that would explain why the guest judges have been somewhat better than usual lately.) I came into this season rooting for Korto, Kayne, and Laurence, and now I think I want an F3 of Kara Saun, Rami, and...IDK, Bishme if he gets rid of the dumb sleeves, Prajje if he doesn't.

Julie has no plans to step down at this time. I guess I'm relieved? Yeah, theoretically we could do a lot better host-wise, but in practice I don't know that they'd get anybody who's actually good, and at least to me Julie still seems like an appropriate fit for this ratchet-ass show. Plus as others have said, they'd probably just replace her with Derrick or similar, which is where I bail out of watching the broadcast show altogether.

Blue Team: We're doing pork chops! Me: Game over.