EverybodyIsACritic

That was incendiary! I was almost going for it until the 70 year old nurse, and moving a woman in labor to a parking lot 😂😂😂 He must be a legendary asshole to get that treatment! I know I’m going to be very lonely here, but I kind of love Jack and Aesha together. The look on her face in the crew mess just before she pounced on him made my heart squeeeee. Colin needs to do a “June, June, Hannah” rap. I can randomly hear Hannah in my head saying it (I have a friend named June, which doesn’t help), and I say it with her on the show.

We must be from the same headspace! My friends and I were good kids, with good grades, part time jobs, AND responsibly sexually active. I never confused pregnancy with anything other than messing up my life at that age. My graduating class had almost 700 people, and there were two girls that walked at graduation so pregnant that we all thought they’d give birth before their names were called. One of them was....a cheerleader! Those babies are 33 now. As far as the show, I don’t think the casting people are looking at mature people. McKayla has been the gift that keeps on giving in that regard. I’ve always thought she was absolutely gorgeous in a delicate, elf/fairy kind of way. I figured she must look like her dad since her mom is more demogorgon than fairy. Until this week. McKayla, around her mouth/chin area, started to look like Shannon when she was being a brat. Horrifying.

In my very humble opinion, cone and sundae was a burst of supernova brilliance from a 15-watt bulb. I’m confused by how many cheerleaders we’ve had on the show overall. Emiley last season, Tyra this season, I know there are more, but I’m stuck on cone and sundae.

FYI, I found what seemed to be an extra episode on OnDemand. I used to think McKayla was cute, but her pretty little face is that of a demon from the pit of hell. Her grandparents are about 10 years older than I am, and look 30 years older. All of that enabling ages people. Look at Shannon-that woman is still pathetic, getting dolled up to have a stilted conversation on camera. Great job, Cindy & Tim! The bruises/marks on Tim’s hands/arms show that his liver is still a mess. I don’t think he’s going to live to be an old grandpa. Then what? I really dislike Max. He’s a whining, entitled snowflake. I’m starting to have the first little bleeps of concern for Chloe’s family. He’s really angry that they just won’t let him do what he wants because MY DAUGHTER, MY GIRLFRIEND, and I think he holds serious blame grudges. He seems either stoned or out of it (pills aren’t drugs!) which doesn’t seem conducive to becoming independent, or a good dad. He really, really, hates Mother Chloe.

WOW!!! Judy’s dress reminds me of a lunch lady, and woman to her right has on a lingerie halter/apron with an all-business turtleneck. Marshall is wearing my nana’s bathrobe, and I love every scrap of info y’all post here!

No self-respecting drag queen would go looking for that rag! ? Not only did my parents NOT buy me a car in high school, I *was* having sex, using birth control, AND NEVER GOT PREGNANT! The only one that I think could have possibilities would be Caelan, but it makes me feel filthy to even think it. More than 4 times. I figured McKayla was saying condoms hurt as an excuse, because they were lazy. Tylor might be able to preheat the oven, but Laura might be horrified. Right there with you, almost 51 here. I had a friend get pregnant in late-ish high school. She had 2 options, strike out with her boyfriend, and be the adults they swore they were, or stay at home, have most expenses covered, finish school, liberal boyfriend visitation, built in child care, etc. The hook for the second option? Swallowing her birth control pill in front of her mom every morning. She picked her mom, and my friend’s now (gasp!) 30 year old son is an amazing man. The dad did the fade before the kid was 2.

YES!!! I was saying “Don’t eat the chocolate MOUSE!” during that scene and cackling maniacally. What a bizarre, dated reference-I love it.

I would give a whole lot to see you, Kelli, and Judi in a dance class! I bet it would be one of the most fun episodes ever, and I bet y’all still remember all the moves!

I noticed Tim’s arms last season. I have a friend that has that same papery, thin skin that bruises extremely easily, and he has cirrhosis, too. His apparently came from chemicals he was exposed to, rather than alcohol. I thought Tim might be in some medical trouble last season, I hate to see it confirmed. He’s aged a bit, and he’s only seven years older than I am!

Sweet baby Jesus, I wish I had been here for that last season! I never noticed any Package McBabymaker-I was too obsessed with his skin. Somebody needs to assist him to either a dermatologist or McKayla can make a pimple popping video for her YouTube channel.

Dear God, Laura’s smug face ratting Anna out is The Worst! And her mother deferring to Laura’s explanation of how babies are made? JFC, she’s not a reproductive medicine specialist! I’ve always liked Tim, Cindy, Shelly, Caelan, and... McKayla. I cannot abide Shannon, though. She is so freakin’ manipulative. The look on McKayla’s face when she told Tim and Cindy that she realized Shannon was pissed about the money, not the bonding, broke my heart. Diego Douchebag is horrible. Bridget is equally hideous. Emiley looks beaten down-Nana was right, Bridget and Diego are similar control freaks. Aria is a scrumptious little bit of a thing. I cringed all the way through the cheerleading workout. If I’d ever had my hoo-ha snipped even TWO YEARS previously, I’d be scared to jump, too. I’m rooting for Emiley, she deserves a break. Chloe hasn’t made much of an impression, but her boy Max sure has. He’d like to lock his princess in a tower, and him have the only key. The thing with his dad was odd too. I started to think his dad was dead in the basement. Please don’t hate me, but I kind of love Lexus and Kelsey. Their eye makeup mesmerizes me. Can’t stand Shayden, though. If she dumps him again for a chick, I could see him getting so angry he hurts her. Also can’t hate Kelsey for getting a nice snacc in Maurice. Yes, he’s younger, but not by much. It’s her turn to have some fun, too.

This show made my eyeballs bleed, but I think I’m probably addicted already. The two bathrooms for 25/26 people is UNBELIEVEABLE. For me, that would be grounds for divorce. I just saw the Daddy/daughter dance episode, and was troubled by the amount of makeup they were putting on such young girls. I bet Papa P was pissed that he couldn’t take Blair and be THE daddy at the dance. No way there isn’t some sketchy shit going on. I wouldn’t want to put my doctor pay in the kitty for the assholes that make fun of me to spend.

Based on this post alone, I feel compelled to add this shitshow to my DVR!

You are not alone! Finally saw it last night, and I kind of loved it. I was broken-hearted to see Charlie fall as far as he did. It was like a Brooklyn Sid and Nancy, even though nobody died. I generally am not a Marnie fan, and didn't particularly care for Charlie in previous seasons, but for a one or two person episode focus, it beat the shit out of Hannah's topless ping-pong/rich doctor lost weekend for me. I forgot about Desi! I think he has become the male version of Hannah. She is, by far, my least favorite character, so I was happy to see so little of her.

The real stories are such a flaming shitshow, I can't even imagine what people could make up. Truely is a kindergarten domanitrix? Robyn is converting to Catholicism? Everybody gets real full-time jobs? Ha-ha, the last one is a good one, right?

Sweet baby Jesus. The bride was wearing eyebrows, and the groom featured a rustic Dorothy Hamill haircut and a belly like a 60-year old in liver failure. It looks like all of the date-hiking came to a screeching halt once the engaged sexy times started. If by "safe" Mrs. FT means, "he'll give me his jacket", she's set. If she means "he'll give me the last taco and piece of cake" she will be cruelly disappointed. I LOVE Mexican food, but it's a bitch to clean off my good sweatshirt. Christine's nose looked red at the wedding, like she'd been crying or blowing mad rails. I suspect the former, of course.

I hadn't heard about this, and it has stunned my snarker into submission. What a shame-that girl had sass.

A camel suffering from PTSD is no joke! His trigger warning would be chunky blond American women in jorts and tank tops that shriek like banshees and hump their feeeeeeyannnceeees in the streets.

Anfisa did not disappoint. Her upper lip is so stiff and swollen that I think she had her work done at Jim Henson's muppet workshop. I like to think that when the cameras aren't rolling, she is in black leather, grinding her stiletto heel into Jorge's balls, as he giggles and says, "You are SO CRAZY!" My bestie came out of the kitchen when Anfisa was cooking, and said, "Yo, nips, what's up?!?!" He thinks she had fake nipples on. I've never heard of such a thing, but he wants his voice to be heard without having to get his own account and type. Jesus! Nicole was unbelievable. If they do get married, I bet her family will have to help him leave her eventually. I also believe she isn't raising May, either. At least I hope she isn't. And that poor camel...they cannot put the usual disclaimer that "no animals were harmed in the making of this shitshow" because that camel needed a 55 gallon drum of Ben Gay after that ride. Alla, please run! You and The Maxinator can stay with me!

Any time, hon!

A lot of my annual favorites in this episode; cameos, SG auditions, and the Head Puss, Kitty Clawter. A perfect episode would also have the uniform fittings in it, too. The seamstress has hilarious asides. i like Melissa Rycroft, but the ol' phrase, "as useless as tits on a boar hog" comes to mind. In the early 90's, an airline lost my luggage, and it appears that Melissa was wearing my missing clothes in the rehearsal outdoors. i really hope Kelsey and Amy get to stay. And I adore Jinelle. Emily's eyes are very distracting. I wonder if she has Graves Disease? She and Brennan are both excused according to my list. But what do I know?j Editing to add-The side plié was the dance equivalent of the girl crab walking backwards and upside down in The Exorcist. Hell to the no!

I'm glad to see they moved. Cockroaches, robberies, and guns, never mind the ferocious humidity of New Orleans was too much for Noon to endure. Hell, it would be too much for ME to endure!

That means she has worked her whining, pitiful, teary, succubus magic on you.

God help me, but I don't think it's her hook she wants in his mouth ....

I really liked Russ and Pao in their original season, and I'm kind of sad to see where they are now. I remember how upset Pao was that Russ would have to be gone for quite a while for work soon after she arrived for her 90 days. I bet she'd be THRILLED to pack him a fuckin' lunch and send him off at this point. I also had Loren pegged as having an autoimmune disorder. I also have one, and it's not something you can tell just by looking. Her voice drills through my brain and annoys the shit out of me, though. I live for Mo's bad decisions. I wonder if INS agents are chilling out at home, watching tv, then go to the office to get their arrests for the day and say, "NOT THIS TRICK AGAIN!!!"