FakeJoshDuggar

I just think it’s a quarter life crisis.

God, Jill is such a twelve year old. Her quiet time involves “journaling song lyrics.” Next she’ll be getting a training bra and making unhealthy relationship goals from watching My So Called Life. (Wait, that’s what I did at 12.)

My mama, god rest her soul, would have snatched Jill up by her raggedy ass in one heartbeat for the state of her nails. As a fine southern lady (who would tell you to go fuck yourself in the nicest way possible) she taught me that if you can’t keep up appropriate maintenance on your nails, you have no business painting them in the first place. If it chips, go take it off or paint over the chip. Along with being an anal retentive gift wrapper, my dad was artsy and would paint my nails every night. (It’s the nicest memory I have of him. Why am I over sharing?!) Anyway, go fix your damn nails, Jill, the chipped color draws attention to the stubby, chewed nature of your hands. It’s not a good look. Jills’s Mustard Cardigan needs it’s own Twitter account.

My father was an anal retentive gift wrapper. I sat beside him for years doling out the correct amount of tape. I remember one year we had wrapping paper with houses on it. Those damn roofs had to line up every time and in every direction. I was in high school before I was allowed to think about wrapping a gift. Tldr; I’m an amazing gift wrapper now and all my stripes, polka dots, etc match up every time. Is is this the Jill thread? I don’t even know where I am. Jill, Jill, Jill.

/shakes head in disgust.

It’s a 3-D or 4-D. I’d get them every week at my maternal specialist. I assume it’s the same for Erin since she’s so high risk.

Josiah must be courting since he’s allowed to post on social media again. His Instagram is up and running.

That is most definitely a nose ring.

If Joyless “thinks” her due date is on the 22nd, she hasn’t been to a doctor to confirm. She probably looked up her due date on the interwebs.

Can I just say that it is my ultimate dream to be one with Julia Sugarbaker? I feel like I’m a mix of Julia and Oiser from Steel Magnolias.

Joyless looks like she’s due any day.

It’s Arkansas, people would probably hire him because of his Twitter rants against Jazz, let’s be honest.

Well Sam doesn’t look anything like a Duggar, so he has that going for him.

First comes pants then comes birth control.

If her headship endangered their money train, obviously Jill wasn’t praying for him hard enough. Eventually it will always be her fault, you just have to look at the situation through their fucked up lens.

I guess that settles why they are in the dark, dingy apartment when they started out in a McMansion. Derick isn’t blood so JB isn’t obligated to send him off to some bible jail (aka PR school.) Now the Dullards are stuck begging for handouts. No wonder they’re all so miserable. I wonder if they’re being shunned. (I don’t really follow their social media anymore so I guess I should check out any sisterly coffee outings...)

God forbid Jazz’s parents appreciate that she is a sentient being with her own ideas and feelings. But The Dillard’s are raising cyborgs for Jesus, so their children’s own truth isn’t truth unless they can identify it through Baptist teachings. The line to punch Derick is forming to the left.

Christ on a MF’ing cracker, look at that man’s forehead. Those Duggar boys don’t stand a chance.

See, I got the opposite impression. It seemed like Michaela wanted to see a specialist but her headship was all, “be patient and leave it up to god.” She then looked like she wanted to cry and hit him in the face but she just weakly smiled and nodded.

The Joshley’s lived in Maryland. Oxen Hill, MD.

And they named their bus Uriah. I have a friend who works at a public health facility in Kansas in which the Maxwells frequent in order to protest the ebil abortions. They said it’s word to see them since they used to follow the Maxwell blog.

You forgot the part about the Pepsi!!!

That must be an older picture then.

Is Alyssa pregnant again?

She looks awfully big to be 18 weeks pregnant with her first kid.