John M

My first thought was a year is not fast to get married and then I remembered that they haven't even been together for a year, do they even live together yet?

Actually I kind of get this, my family used to decamp for a few weeks every summer to the same rented home in Hawaii for probably the first 12 years of my life, I now retreat for a week every year to a cabin community in Colorado with my husband's family that they have been going to for years and years, the owners greet us like family and we stay in the same cabins. I'm not saying it really happens with Chase's family because this entire show is bullshit, but in the real world it is a thing.

Do proposals these days happen without a pre-agreed upon ring? Especially a style as specific as the one Whit is wearing? That seems like a huge warning sign about a relationship to me, making an incredibly expensive purchase that you expect your partner to wear daily without some serious specific discussions about it first.

I've always thought it was so weird how many middle-class Americans fetishize the extravagance and unattainability of a vacation to Paris. Like, you can just go, it's a major international city and a major european airline hub, you can just get like a deal on Expedia. I promise you there are thousands of people with not all glamorous lives saying "Ugh, I have to go to Paris next week" tonight. I mean, it's a beautiful city, but it's still a major international city that lots of people need to get to easily and relatively cheaply from all over the world and priced as such.

This is one of the little things about Whit and this show that drives me crazy, a yurt is not some exotic concept that needs a detailed explination including diagrams, fucking google yurt Whit, don't act like you are too stupid to have a round tent explained to you.

Kids make my skin crawl, their shriek are fingernails on chalkboards, disorder is pretty much the most anxiety I can feel. My house, right this moment, could be shown for real estate purposes, there is not so much as a picture frame askew. My husband is the same way, if not worse, and we have built a lovely life for ourselves with incredibly little stress outside of work financial or personal. I know parents feel like their children are magical and special, or when you have children you naturally rise to the occasion or whatever but having a child sounds like the absolute worst thing that could happen to me. And yes, plenty of people regret having children. Nope, I'm good, I'm more than happy to sit on a bar patio on a Sunday afternoon sipping cocktails with our other childless couple friends. And I'm in my late thirties, my husband is in his mid-forties and we are gay, so even if we mildly wanted to have children that ship has basically sailed at this point. We're good.

This isn't weird for me, I'm in my late 30s and literally never called my boss, my boss's boss or my husband's parents by anything but their first name. Times change and his father is not a "very successful and respected businessman" that would stand on ceremony, he is a car salesman, I assure you he is not offended when a teenager shows up to buy a new Mercedes calls him by dude, bro or much less his first name.

I've got good news about your concerns!

God bless whoever shares the snark from this episode so I can fast forward to anything interesting because I got 6 minutes in and I just can't. What a pathetic narcissist pretending to be incredibly insecure. Whatever Whit, since you apparently have all this fucking free time and money to burn can you like do anything even a little bit about not you at all? Go fucking clean cat cages at an animal shelter, at least people will think you have some redeeming qualities that Chase would be interested in because he sure as fuck doesn't care about your selfish and proformative pretending to care about your friends that you treat like shit constantly which is the only thing that you do that I think you think reflects well on you.

Because like a million results come up on the front page when you google his name?

He is one of the lower level salesmen at a Mercedes dealership. Which I am sure pays the bills just fine but very successful and respected businessman is a pretty big stretch to describe his social standing.

More than he is making now.

If a tree falls in the forest and only Tania is there to hear it fall, she will burn the entire fucking forest to the ground to get your attention about how special and unique that tree was to her.

People get married in non-traditional dresses ALL THE TIME. Black, red, gold, pink, sundresses, pantsuits, suits, tuxes God, aren't you tired of trying to be so special? You got married in a dress, it's a dress, the only statement you made with that dress is you presumably like that dress.

I actually think Marcelino would be good in some sort of administrative job in government, they are good white collar office jobs with benefits and room for advancement that typically don't require much education or special skills. The problem is Marcelino would have to shut up and follow directions even if he thinks he knows better and I don't think he is capable of doing that.

Like, conceptional, what does he want to do? He has no professional qualifications that would dictate any sort of career so like, what exactly does he want to be in charge of? There are plenty of great administrative type jobs where you just have to be competent at a thing that they train you to do, don't make a scene, collect the paycheck. Like seriously, it's fine if your job is, I dunno, processing titles at a car dealership.

OK, I'm throwing out my likely completely wrong theory from this episode: My husband and me are middle aged with absolutely no desire whatsoever to have children. Actually having children sounds like our personal nightmare in our perfectly organized and curated lives. So no, we don't want kids, we are more than happy to meet up with our other childless couple friends on patios for cocktails on a Sunday afternoon and listen to the jealousy of our straight friends that wish they could do the same.

Well that is more of a Heather problem. The world is full of assholes, Heather is an adult who can decide for herself who she wants to be a part of her life and to what extent, including assholes.

Ryan is not my trainer, I can't believe people think Ryan is my trainer, Ryan is so not my trainer, how ridiculous is it that people think he is my trainer. He just designs all my workers because I don't know how to design workouts because I am not a trainer and I need a trainer. For our business. Where he is my trainer. Because HE IS MY TRAINER. My boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend, how weird is it that I have a boyfriend, have I mentioned my boyfriend, you know I have a boyfriend. God damn woman. Oh my fucking god, yes, we know you kissed buddy, shut up, are you fucking 12? Stop assaulting that poor waiter, he owes you nothing about his personal life because he is unfortunate enough to be the person paid to bring you drinks. Gross. Did you know Whitney kissed buddy, the unemployed drug addict with a criminal record? After he and Heather broke up? It's a very big deal, half-hearted kisses between single people are a BIG DEAL. I have literally had sex with one of my husband's oldest friends, he comes to parties at our house, I've made out with husbands ex-partner, he is one of our best friends. There is literally zero drama about it, in fact it is a joke because I WAS SINGLE. Did I mention my boyfriend? I have a boyfriend. This boyfriend I have mentioned a thousand times that I told you would be the only person you don't know at this gathering is here! He's the only person you don't know. Did you know he is my boyfriend?!?! Yeah, this guy I am hanging all over is MY BOYFRIEND. MEET MY BOYFRIEND! I gave up at the start of drag queen brunch because as a gay man I know I'm going to be offended and I have to eat dinner WITH MY HUSBAND, I HAVE A HUSBAND, I'M MARRIED, TO MY HUSBAND, because people my age are in commited relationships because IT'S NORMAL.

I met my husband through his ex, we are all friends, in fact we are going out for his birthday next weekend, he even has a key to our house. Not all relationships end with lasting bad feelings. If anything having known both of them a long time I know exactly why they broke up and think it is very reasonable in not inevitable that they did.

I suspect that if Clint did in fact have that job it was overnight at a motel that caters to people that would be unwelcome at most hotels.

When I got married last year in Texas I had to sign off on information about HIV, I thought it was so weird. Also they had updated the forms from husband and wife to be gender neutral but the forms were also set up to return the paperwork to the first name on it which was clearly supposed to be the husband. All I could think is how the forms were setup to give a receipt of the marriage to the man.

I've barely been able to gag down some of this episode so I have very few thoughts besides. Boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend, did you know I have a boyfriend? My boyfriend, boyfriend, I'll have to ask my boyfriend, boyfriend. Jesus christ woman, you are 35 goddamn years old, no one cares that you are in a relationship, by your age 75% of women have been married AT LEAST ONCE, AT LEAST. OK, so I know I am a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to organization and order but that Dish box hanging off that shelf drove me crazy. And finally, for a show that supposedly pushes body empowerment and attractive at any size, blah, blah, blah, they sure do love to objectify fit male bodies every chance they get.

Covered in empty wine and liquor bottles, everywhere, like a hoarding end-stage alcoholic. I actually forgot about that.

I mean, Mormons were if they wanted to remain Mormons. My point isn't to wade into some sort of religious debate over Mormon current and past beliefs, I'm just trying to point out that this isn't like the first black family to move into the wealthy gated community, like there is a lot of history going on as far as why there aren't many black mormon families in the neighborhood.