The Princess Bride Mafia

[Hanged Man]

Oh I like the apple angle for New York,

There is a sour apple pucker and there is a Crown Royal Regal Apple which even though it is Canadian is still Crown and Apple which is like a twofer. But it is a whiskey and we are looking for a mixed drink, not a whiskey blend

 

so what kind of binder do we get for Maryland? Can anyone think of something Maryland is known for, drink-wise?

[Drogo]

The blow job shot is

1/4 oz Bailey's® Irish cream

1/2 oz amaretto almond liqueur

With Whipped cream

 

 

Btws the blow job shot...

You have to drink it without using your hands

 

And

you have to swallow

.

 

^^for previously-corrupted minds only^^

[caprice]

Oh, are we corrupting you LC? I'm sure we can find something delicious for you.

Btws the blow job shot...

You have to drink it without using your hands

I don't know... It seems they're better with at least a little use of hands.

Oh I like the apple angle for New York,

There is a sour apple pucker and there is a Crown Royal Regal Apple which even though it is Canadian is still Crown and Apple which is like a twofer. But it is a whiskey and we are looking for a mixed drink, not a whiskey blend

 

so what kind of binder do we get for Maryland? Can anyone think of something Maryland is known for, drink-wise?

Maybe Maryland can provide garnish.

Oh, and Drogo, regarding your spoiler? That should go without saying. Otherwise, what's the point?

Of drinking.

[Machiabelly]

Crab claw garnish?

Maryland official state beverage...milk.

[Hanged Man]

Maryland official state beverage...milk.

 

Hmm milk is a good base but I am not sure it mixes with apple,

Does anyone know if apple milk and bourbon tastes good?

[caprice]

Hmm milk is a good base but I am not sure it mixes with apple,

Does anyone know if apple milk and bourbon tastes good?

Make it a shake, like a mudslide.

[Oinky Boinky]

You would have to find an apple liqueur or it would be too acid in taste and also maybe curdle the milk. A sweet apple liqueur Bourbon and milk might be ok but I bet it would be very good with rum.

I do a creamsicle drink and if you blend the liquor and the orange juice you can add cream and not curdle it.

[Machiabelly]

Bourbon milk is a big New Orleans thing. Bourbon, milk, vanilla, sugar and nutmeg. Looks like eggnog. I imagine it would work with apple. There is a frozen version using vanilla gelato

[Meredith Quill]

These drinks all sound yummy but I'll have a blowjob with a screaming orgasm chaser please :D

[caprice]

I'm realizing that my Little Black Book of Cocktails is pretty well lacking when it comes to the naughty drinks. I may have to come up with a short story using as many drink names as I can!

[Drogo]

These drinks all sound yummy but I'll have a blowjob with a screaming orgasm chaser please :D

I'll have what she's having.

[Jesse]

I could use a drink, but maybe I'll stick to the straight Bailey's.

[MarkHB]

These drinks all sound yummy but I'll have a blowjob with a screaming orgasm chaser please :D

That sounds like a recipe for us never getting the next story....

[Drogo]

That sounds like a recipe for us never getting the next story....

 

All depends on whether we're talking single or multiple orgasm chasers.

[FormerMod-a1]

I'll have the Multiple Orgasm Cajun Style.

[caprice]

All depends on whether we're talking single or multiple orgasm chasers.

"Multiple?" That's a myth.

[Drogo]

"Multiple?" That's a myth.

 

References available upon request.

[Meredith Quill]

Night 2

Back On The Boat…

Fezzik leaned out and hit the eel as it charged then lifted Buttercup to safety out of the water.
Inigo, still watching the boat behind said, “I think he's getting closer.”
Exasperated Vizzini shouted, “HE'S NO CONCERN OF OURS. SAIL ON!”
Then crouching down to eye level with the now sitting Buttercup, “I suppose you think you're brave, don't you?”
“Only compared to some.” She retorted.
Dawn arrived, heralded by the sun peeking above the horizon, affording all aboard a clear view of the boat that followed in their wake.
“Look! He's right on top of us! I wonder if he's using the same wind we are using.” Inigo mused.
“Whoever he is, he's too late. SEE? THE CLIFFS OF INSANITY! HURRY UP! MOVE THE THING! AND THAT OTHER THING! MOVE IT! Only Fezzik is strong enough to go up our way. He'll have to sail around for hours 'til he finds a harbor.” Vizzini stated triumphantly as their boat docked.

At The Cliffs Of Insanity

Buttercup found herself strapped to Fezzik along with Inigo and Vizzini, as he climbed a rope to the top of the impossibly vertical, and impossibly high cliff face. She wasn’t about to look down, she felt sick. Just then a Man in Black jumped from the boat, which had been following them, and began climbing the rope.
Inigo looked down, “He's climbing the rope. And he's gaining on us.” he informed his companions.
“Inconceivable! FASTER!” cried Vizzini.
“I thought I WAS going faster.” Fezzik replied.
“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THIS COLOSSUS, YOU WERE THIS GREAT LEGENDARY THING, AND YET HE GAINS!” Vizzini shouted. Motivational skills weren’t his strong suit.
“Well, I'm carrying three people, and he's got only himself.” Fezzik countered.
“I do not accept excuses. I'm just going to have to find myself a new giant, that's all.” Vizzini spat.
“Don't say that, Vizzini. Please?”
“DID I MAKE IT CLEAR THAT YOUR JOB IS AT STAKE?”
Having reached the top, Vizzini began to frantically saw at the rope with his dagger, it broke quickly and disappeared over the edge. Fezzik and Inigo looked over the precipice, to find that the masked man was now clinging to the cliff.
“He's got very good arms.” Fezzik stated, impressed.
Vizzini peered over, “HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE!”

“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” Inigo noted. “My God! He's climbing!”
Ignoring Inigo’s first remark, Vizzini gave him his instructions, “Whoever he is, he's obviously seen us with the princess and must therefore die. We'll head straight for the Guilder frontier. Catch up when he's dead. If he falls, fine. If not, the sword.”
“I'm going to duel him left-handed.” Inigo replied.
“YOU KNOW WHAT A HURRY WE'RE IN!” shouted Vizzini.
Is the only way I can be satisfied. If I use my right, over too quickly.”
“Oh, have it your way.” Vizzini didn’t have time to argue.
Fezzik was concerned for his friend, “You be careful. People in masks cannot be trusted.”
“I'M WAITING!” bellowed Vizzini. With that Fezzik turned, picked up Buttercup and walked off.
Inigo looked over the cliff edge. “Hello there! Slow going?” he shouted down.
The Man In Black replied calmly, “Look, I don't mean to be rude, but this is not as easy as it looks, so I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't distract me.”
“Sorry.”
“Thank you.” said the Man In Black tersely.
A minute later, Inigo’s patience got the better of him and he peered over again, “I do not suppose you could-a speed things up?” he asked, impatient.
“If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do.”
“I could do that. I've got some rope up here, but I do not think you would-a accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.”
The Man In Black nodded, “That does put a dampner on our relationship.”
“But, I promise I will not kill you until you reach the top.”
“That's very comforting, but I'm afraid you'll just have to wait.”
Inigo sighed, “I hate waiting.” He started to walk away, but turned and went back. “I could give you my word as a Spaniard...?” he offered.
The Man In Black was straining in his struggle to climb higher, “No good. I've known too many Spaniards.”
“So is there any way you'll trust me?”
“Nothing comes to mind.”
Inigo straightened, solemnly he said, “I swear, on the soul of my father, Domingo Montoya, you will reach the top alive.”
Immediately the Man in Black replied, “Throw me the rope.” Inigo uncoiled part of the rope from the rock and tossed it over the edge. The Man in Black grabbed it and climbed to the top. As soon as he reached the summit he gave Inigo a breathless ‘Thank you’ and began to draw his sword.
“We'll wait until you're ready.” Inigo said considerately, he wanted a fair fight.
“Again, thank you.” The Man in Black sat down on a rock and pulling off his boots, emptied a few stones from it.
Inigo, fascinated by the Man in Black’s determination, enquired, “I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?”
Still holding his boot the Man in Black replied, “Do you always begin conversations this way?”
Inigo explained, “My father was slaughtered by a six fingered man. Was a great sword maker, my father. When the six fingered man appear and request a special sword, my father took the job.” He drew his sword. “He slave a year before he was done.”
He offered the sword to the Man in Black to examine.
Taking it, the Man In Black replied admiringly, “I've never seen its equal.” Before returning it to Inigo.
“The Six fingered man returned and demanded it, but at one-tenth his promised price. My father refuse. Without a word, the six fingered man slash him through the heart. I loved my father, so naturally I challenged his murderer to a duel. I fail. The Six fingered man leave me alive. But he give me these.” he said as he pointed to scars on his cheeks.
“How old were you?”
“I was eleven years old. When I was-a strong enough, I dedicated my life to the study of fencing, so the next time we meet, I will no fail. I will go up to the six fingered man and say, Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
“You've done nothing but study swordplay?”
“More a pursuit than a study, lately. You see, I cannot find him. It has been twenty years now and I am starting to lose confidence. I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills. It's not a lot of money in revenge.”
The Man in Black rose from his seat, “Well, I certainly hope you find him someday.”
“You are ready, then?”
“Whether I am or not, you've been more than fair.”

“You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.”
 

“You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.”

The fight had begun. Clang, clang, swish. Clang, clang, swish. Ting-ting-ting, ting-ting. Ting, ting, ting. (I'm just kidding, you didn't think I was actually going to do ALL the sound effects for this scene, did you?)

“You are using Bonetti's defense against me, uh?” Inigo noted aloud.
The Man In Black replied, “I thought it fitting, considering the rocky terrain.”
“Naturally, you must expect me to attack with Capo Ferro.”
“Naturally, but I find that Thibault cancels out Capo Ferro, don't you?” The Man in Black countered, jumping down.
“Unless the enemy has studied his Agrippa,” Inigo advised as he jumped after him, “which I have!”
The fight continued and Inigo was impressed with his opponent more every moment, “You are wonderful!”
“Thank you. I've worked hard to become so.”
“I admit it, you are better than I am.”
The Man In Black was a little confused, “Then why are you smiling?” he asked as he forced Inigo toward the cliff's edge.
“Because I know something you don't know.”
“And what is that?”
“I am not left-handed.” Inigo switched to his right hand and they began to move up the stairs, still dueling.
“You're amazing!” The Man in Black complimented him.
“I ought to be after twenty years.” Now Inigo had begun to force the Man in Black toward a balcony and the weight of his body against the rocks make them they give way.
“There is something I ought to tell you.” The Man in Black advised.
“Tell me.”
“I'm not left-handed either.” And he too switched to his right hand and flourished his sword.
He knocked Inigo's sword from his hand which caused it to fall down below them. Inigo immediately jumped down to retrieve it. Following, The Man in Black tossed his sword into a patch of grass and flipped over a beam, he landed next to his sword and plucked it from the ground.
Inigo impressed at this move asked, “Who are you?”
“No one of consequence.”
“I must know.”
“Get used to disappointment.”
Inigo simply shrugged, “Okay.”
They fight continued until the Man In Black finally knocked Inigo's sword from his hands.
Inigo now shamed into defeat kneeled, “Kill me quickly.”
The Man In Black circled Inigo, “I would as soon destroy a stained-glass window as an artist like yourself. However, since I can't have you following me either....” he hit Inigo over the head with the hilt of his sword and Inigo hit the ground, out cold.
The Man In Black addressed the unconscious Inigo; “Please understand I hold you in the highest respect.” Then he ran off in search of his prey.

Somewhere In The Thieves Forest

It smelled sweaty, musty and a little sour. The rustic room was full of drunks doing a poor job at pretending not to be. Amongst them Yellin, the brute squad leader, sat in middle of the tavern reviewing his life choices whilst nursing his fifth mug of ale. He wasn’t happy in his job; he had no prospects, he got all the crappy tasks and his boss was a douche who didn’t appreciate him. But he was good at what he did and wasn’t likely to change his career at this stage in his life. Even the serving wench ignored him when he tried to get her attention for another refill. The only job satisfaction he had was when he was ordering around the men of the brute squad, the men who have served you so long and so well, he thought bitterly. He knew they didn’t respect him, but they knew they would answer to Humperdinck if his orders weren’t carried out to the letter, so they obeyed. Sighing, he decided his bladder could wait no longer and headed outside to find a convenient tree. As he opened the tavern door, the cool night air hit him and his head began to swim a little. He stumbled to the nearest tree a few feet away and proceeded to get on with the matter at hand. He had just finished re-arranging his clothing whilst muttering, “Damn job, unappreciated, should’ve listen—“ when he felt a sharp pain creep across the back of his skull and promptly collapsed.
He awoke feeling dizzy, the world around him was swaying to and fro and his head was pounding. The sunlight was bright in his eyes, blinding him temporarily, “What the hell…” he said aloud, whilst trying to get his bearings. Suddenly a shadow passed in front of him, blocking out the blazing light. “Well, well, it looks like someone decided to join us after all” said a mocking voice. Yellin could only see the man in silhouette with the sun behind him, “What? Who? Where?” was all he managed to say, confused. Rough arms grabbed him and hauled him to his feet, he thought he might vomit. “You don’t ask the questions here, you simply obey orders” the man replied, his finger prodded Yellin as he spoke each word for emphasis. “There’s been some mistake…” Yellin started but was cut off, “No mistake, serve me well today or you’ll walk the plank, but I’ll most likely kill you in the morning” with that the man turned and walked away. It was about then that Yellin realized why the world was swaying, he was on a ship, at sea, finally he spotted the ship’s name; The Revenge. His career prospects had changed indeed.


Still Living Happily Ever After:

1. Oinky Boinky
2. Athena
3. Machiabelly
4. Lisin
5. The Crazed Spruce
6. stacey
8. Drogo
9. Lady Calypso
10. TJtrack99
11. MarkHB
12. caprice
13. Hanged Man
14. SVNBob
15. Dougal
16. aquarian1
17. egavasc
18. CuriousParker
19. Tmunz

The Mostly ALL Dead:

• Jesse – Yellin, Neutral, Recruitable.
You are the leader of The Brute Squad, neither a Hero or Villain unless recruited, until then you may choose to assist the heroes or villains as you see fit. You deal with outlaws and ruffians without mercy as instructed by your superiors. If recruited you will endeavour for your side to win.

You have 24hrs to get your night actions in.
There is one clue in the story.

[Drogo]

Everybody sleeping?

[FormerMod-a1]

Nope - I'm at work  And this is a lot to read.  ;-)  Plus I'm new and feel sucky at clues, I like reading other people's clues and rationales though.  

[Lisin]

It's still Night A1, so we're still just drinking... 

 

I'm around but am still suffering from lack of sleep from my weekend. I'm not as young as I once was so staying up until 3 singing Karaoke was not necessarily the best idea... and definitely getting up at 7 yesterday and not going to bed until 1 because I was obsessing over Gilmore Girls was a bad plan. I'm beat! 

[The Crazed Spruce]

Found a ridiculously appropriate video you all might enjoy....

[Oinky Boinky]

Well I didn't know it was that William Goldman. Famous for his screen plays but his novel Boys and Girls was one of my favourites way back when. Read a few of his books.

[Lady Calypso]

That was actually pretty interesting. Weird fact of the day: my (almost) ex-roommate has that exact Batman shirt. He has had it for years and it's now kind of small on him, but he refuses to throw it away.

[BizBuzz]

TPB Mafia Mod Announcement

 

I was supposed to be here over two hours ago ... I am falling down on my job ... shhhh, don't tell SS ok?  ::giggle::

 

Night is officially over, all night actions are in and the story is being created.  Please expect it between 6pm tonight (Tuesday) and 6am tomorrow morning (Wednesday) Central Time.  

 

If the planets align themselves, you might just get it sooner ... let's see what happens.

[formerlyfreedom]

Night is officially over

 

But....we can still drink, right??? Please tell me, we can still drink...

[FormerMod-a1]

[BizBuzz]

TPB Mafia Mod Announcement

Oops ... one of the classic blunders of all time ... and for that ... I offer you this:
 

 

Yes ... you can still drink.

[Drogo]

TPB Mafia Mod Announcement

Oops ... one of the classic blunders of all time ... and for that ... I offer you this:

 

 

Yes ... you can still drink.

 

[caprice]

I made myself one of these last night, and I believe I'll have another. Mudslide, on the rocks, thanks.

 

I friggin' hate job searches....

[Drogo]

That commercial where they have kids start a movie in a Chevy Malibu then move them into a Camry with no built in WiFi so they can't finish it is crap.

This is why kids have trust issues.

I just thought I'd say that.

Edited June 10, 2015 by Drogo

[formerlyfreedom]

@Drogo - kids these days!

 

I am one of seven kids, and for awhile our family vehicle was a Plymouth Horizon. Anyone remember those?

 

 

We were fondly dubbed 'The Clown Car' whenever we went somewhere (three on the lower level in the backseat, a layer of three on top, youngest on Mom's lap, and Dad drove). We drove the car FAR past it's best used by date (we did add a van when laws and such blah blah). It's also why I laugh when my nieces and nephews ask what those long things with the knobs are on the end are in my 1993 Toyota Corolla (they roll the window down, honey, "but...where's the BUTTON?"). Sadly, no wifi in these beauties!

[Drogo]

I can still remember the pride I felt the first time I rolled the window open, by myself, in my mom's Ford Aerostar. Those suckers were tough for little arms.

[caprice]

Lol, I remember being in my twenties and the window handle broke in my mother's truck. We had more fun laughing about needing to find "the window thing" when we were approaching the drive-up window at our favorite grocery places.

Oh, I have an interview on Thursday. What is "business professional?"

[formerlyfreedom]

Good luck, @caprice! And as far as I know, "business professional" means no food stains on my chest, but I'm guessing this is a step up from that!

[caprice]

Thanks, stacey. Part of my problem is that I've been out of the workforce for over ten years and no longer have a "work" wardrobe. Linen trousers and a nice shirt were fine for the theatre job I interviewed for a couple months ago, but I don't think it'll fly here....

[Oinky Boinky]

It's funny I had to explain to my very practical sweetheart why sports cars were popular for single guys.

You know honey, the 'vette makes them wet'

He replies 'well there's my problem, I drove a reliant, 'the reliant makes them defiant'

I can just picture him being young and trying to get lucky in that stupid car.

[Lady Calypso]

Ah, the perks of being twenty one is that I have done a few interviews so I think I know what they mean by business professional. That's pretty much the highest level of professionalism. As a student, I usually just have to dress business casual for interviews or even school presentations. I would say black pants, some form of nice black shoes and a white blouse and maybe a nice jacket. So I assume that's what they mean, but you might be able to get away without the jacket.

[MarkHB]

While we didn't have a large family to stuff in it, I did manage to get a Dodge Omni (sister to the Horizon) to nearly 200,000 miles. I've been a diehard Mopar guy ever since.

[caprice]

Ah, the perks of being twenty one is that I have done a few interviews so I think I know what they mean by business professional. That's pretty much the highest level of professionalism. As a student, I usually just have to dress business casual for interviews or even school presentations. I would say black pants, some form of nice black shoes and a white blouse and maybe a nice jacket. So I assume that's what they mean, but you might be able to get away without the jacket.

Thanks, LC. Great, I'm going shopping. However, if they think I'm wearing a jacket, they can bite me.

Then again, I doubt I'm all that interested in the actual job.

[MarkHB]

I was going to interpret "business professional" as "dress like Hillary," but I think LC has you covered.

[BizBuzz]

TPB Mafia Mod Announcement

 

I regret to inform you that we need just a tad bit more time ... please carry on with the drinking ... 

[Drogo]

Night is officially over, all night actions are in and the story is being created.  Please expect it between 6pm tonight (Tuesday) and 6am tomorrow morning (Wednesday) Central Time.  

 

If the planets align themselves, you might just get it sooner ... let's see what happens.

 

 

I regret to inform you that we need just a tad bit more time ... please carry on with the drinking ... 

 

Does this mean the planet didn't align themselves?  I blame Jupiter, he's too fat...

[Hanged Man]

Does this mean the planet didn't align themselves?  I blame Jupiter, he's too fat...

He's not fat he's big-boned.

 

 

Obvious answer would have been of course, he's just gassy, but I despise puns.

[TJtrack99]

Does this mean the planet didn't align themselves? .

And everybody darn well better mean all NINE of the planets. Yes, I'm still bitter about Pluto. #neverForget

 

[BizBuzz]

TPB Mafia Mod Announcement

In the entertainment industry, they have to be prepared for life to happen when they least expect it.

When life does hit, sometimes changes have to be made in the spur of the moment.

Think way back when to Bewitched when Dick York had to be replaced and Dick Sargent filled in the role. Or more recently, when the character of Daario Naharis in Game of Thrones went from the actor Ed Skrein to actor Michael Huisman.

These changes are necessary to keep things flowing smoothly.

TPB Mafia is no exception ... we too are part of the entertainment industry. ::giggle::

 

And with that in mind we need to make an announcement that there has been a player change. CuriousParker has to step away from the game. We could have Mod-Killed her, but instead, we have decided to keep the game moving smoothly by replacing her with Jesse. Jesse has confirmed she has not spoken to any living player since her death. Her (Jesse) character had no investigative abilities and so doesn't effect game play in any way.

She will slide into CP's role and take it over as if CP was still here.

Thank you for your understanding and cooperation in the matter.

[Meredith Quill]

Day 3

 

The Fickle Finger of Fate

Tracking Buttercup and her captors Westley followed their trail, which led him further inland away from the coast. He knew the giant would pose something of a problem but nothing would deter him from rescuing her. She may have forsaken him for another but she was in danger and he wasn’t about to allow any harm to come to her. Running along a narrow path intent on his goal, he failed to spot the stray ROUS that lurked just out of sight, on a rocky ledge in the small wooded area ahead. He slowed to a halt to check for signs that he was heading in the correct direction, and the ROUS, having picked up Westley’s scent, pounced. It hit him with full force on his back sending him to the ground and striking his head a nasty blow on a rock that lay there, but Westley rolled away immediately, his reflexes honed and cat-like. The ROUS bit at his boot trying to drag him. Westley managed to grab a fallen tree branch as he was pulled along and struck the ROUS over the head, causing it to open it’s mouth in shock, freeing his boot. The ROUS was dazed and Westley, blood freely flowing from the wound on his head, scrambled to his feet and stumbled away. He got as far as the open space on the other side of the wood before collapsing.

Max and Valerie had been out that morning collecting wild herbs and plants, which they used in their line of work. “Witch, come here, look at this” Max shouted over to her. Valerie approached, “What, what is it?” she asked, curious. Max pointed to some blood on a rock, “This, look are you blind? All this blood must’ve come from somewhere it didn’t just appear out of thin air!” Valerie ignored his vexing tone and looked around to see if there was an injured animal close by. Seeing nothing she simply said, “Well whatever it came from isn’t here now, so no use wasting time, keep looking for more thistleroot you old malingerer!” she chided him. A while later, having obtained what they could, Max and Valerie appeared in the clearing on the far side of the small wood. They were busy arguing about the best way to treat a case of mottled vine rash when they came upon a man in black passed out facedown on the ground. “Is he dead?” Valerie asked, prodding him with her toe. “How should I know?”, Max replied irritably, he lowered the wheelbarrow to the ground and walked over to the prone man. Together they rolled him over revealing the nasty looking injury to his head. “Heh he’s a goner” Max shrugged. “HE IS NOT!” Valerie shouted at him. “Put him in the wheelbarrow!”. Sighing, Max did as he was bid with some difficulty, he was not a young man anymore, but finally managed to accomplish the task. Back at their hut Max and Valerie cleaned up the man in black’s wound but he did not awaken. After a brief examination followed a shrug, “He’s as good as dead” Max surmised. “Listen to me you old fraud, just because you were fired doesn’t mean you can leave everything to me. All these years I’ve been the one doing it all, no more I say, you can save this man and you will or else!”  Valerie told him.

“Ok, ok, don't rush me. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.” Max complained. “Question is does he deserve to be saved? Maybe, I should ask ask him” he said reaching for a pair of bellows.

“You said he's good as dead. He can't talk” 

Max snorted, “Hoo hoo hoo! Look who knows so much, heh? Well, it just so happens that he is only mostly dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Open his mouth” He put the bellows to Westley's mouth and blew air in.  “Now, mostly dead is slightly alive. Now, all dead... well, with all dead, there's usually only one thing that you can do.

“Which is?” Valerie asked.

“Go through his clothes and look for loose change”, he snickered as he removed the bellows. “Hey! Hello in there! Hey! What's so important? What you got here that's worth living for?” he shouted at Westley then pushed on his abdomen.

The words t-r-u-e  l-o-v-e escaped Westley’s lips.

"Aww True Love" Valerie sighed.

“True Love is the greatest thing in the world, except for a nice MLT--- mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, when the mutton is nice and lean, and the tomato is ripe” he smacked his lips at the thought, “They're so perky. I love that. But that's not what he said--- he distinctly said "To blave" and as we all know, to blave means to bluff, heh? So he was probably playing cards, and he cheated—“

Valerie was indignant, “Liar! Liar! Lia----r!” she shouted at her husband.

“Get back, witch!”

“I'm not a witch, I'm your wife, but after what you just said, I'm not even sure I want to be that anymore. True Love, he said True Love, Max. My God” she told him dismayed. “You’re just afraid. Ever since Prince Humperdinck fired you, it shattered your confidence”.

“Why'd you say that name? You promised me that you would never say that name!”

“What... Humperdinck?”

“Aaaigh!” Max began to run away from her around the table.

Valerie followed him, “Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Humperdinck!” 

Covering his ears Max replied, “I'm not listening.”

“True love lies expiring, and you don't have the decency to tell the truth about why you won't help”

Max, still covering his ears, shouted, “Nobody's hearing nothing!”

“Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Humperdinck!”

A thought suddenly occurred to Valerie, “Wait, wait…what if…he could repay you by getting revenge on Humperdinck somehow? He’s obviously a fighter, look at his sword and people don’t wear masks and swords everyday for nothing” she reasoned.

Miracle Max stopped running, dropping his hands from his ears, “Shah! Wait, wait. You’re saying if I make him better, Humperdinck suffers?”

“Humiliations galore”

“Ha ha ha! Hi dah lig dah lah nay juh! That is a noble cause. Let’s get to it woman. I'm on the job!”

“Woo-hoo!” Valerie replied.

They worked together preparing the treatment needed and some time later Valerie was almost done, she just needed to finish coating the miracle pill with chocolate. “There, all ready” she handed the pill to Max.

Max opened Westley’s mouth and popped the miracle pill inside then closed his mouth again.

They waited.

After a few minutes Westley opened his eyes to see Max and Valerie hovering over him. “I don’t mean to be rude but who are you and where am I?” he asked.

Max smiled, “Heh I am Miracle Max and this is my wife Valerie, we found you mostly dead outside the wood and brought you back here to our hut” he informed him.

“We saved your life, my husband is a Miracle Man” Valerie interjected.

“Well, in that case please accept my most heartfelt gratitude. Just one small detail though, why can’t I move?” Westley enquired.

“Sonny, you were mostly dead all day, you can’t rush these things” Max told him.

“So you’re a fighter then?” Valerie asked hopefully.

“I dabble” Westley replied cautiously.

“So who is this True Love of yours heh?” Max wondered aloud.

“The Princess Buttercup” Westley replied, “Speaking of whom, I must save her!” he tried to rise.

“Easy, sonny easy, you need to get your strength back first” Max advised. “So Humperdinck’s bride to be is your True Love eh? You gonna stop the wedding?”

“Yes and I cannot delay, every moment that passes means she could die or worse!” Westley panicked. Using sheer force of will, he made himself sit upright.

Max and Valerie gave him room as he struggled to his feet, his knees buckling slightly. He stood for a few moments then attempted to put one foot in front of the other. He made it to a chair before collapsing in it. A short while later he stood again, more steadily this time, “Is there any way I can repay the kindness you have shown me?” he asked the old couple.

“If you ruin Humperdinck’s life, that will be all the repayment we could ask for” Max grinned at the thought.

“I shall certainly try” Westley promised and with a flourish left the hut. “Geronimo!” he called out as he ran off.

“Have fun storming the castle!” Max shouted after him. “Bye-bye!!”

“Think he will win?” asked Valerie.

“It will take a miracle” Max answered.

 

In The King’s Bedchamber…

The old King lay on his bed, his time was near but he had lived this long and wasn’t going out without a fight. He clung onto life doggedly, savouring each moment he had left. The Prince had come to see his father, knowing there wasn’t much time left, it might be the last time he got to speak with him. Humperdinck entered the bedchamber, Count Rugen following in his wake. Seeing that his father was sleeping peacefully, Humperdinck decided to sit and wait awhile incase he should awaken. They sat together discussing the progress of their plan when a cough from the King stopped them in their tracks. Humperdinck rose from his seat and walked to the King’s bedside, “Father you’re awake at last, I’ve come to see you” he said. The King coughed a little more and fixed his son with a disapproving glare. “I may be old and dying but I am not a fool” he coughed again. “You go too far this time”, he warned him. Humperdinck acted the innocent, “Whatever do you mean father? Were you having a bad dream?” he asked.

“The only nightmare I have is one I cannot wake from” the King replied sadly. “I overheard what you and Rugen are planning to do after my death. Start a war with Guilder. I won’t allow it!” he blustered, wracked by another coughing fit.

Humperdinck and Rugen exchanged panicked glances, their plans would all be for naught if the King exposed them both. “Father listen-“ he began.

The King cut him off, “I listened enough already, I don’t want to hear any of your lies, leave me”, he ordered.

Humperdinck turned away to find Rugen looking at him questioningly. He knew the King could not be allowed to talk, he gave a slight nod and strode out of the room. Rugen, as a pretense of trying to appear a conciliator approached the King, his hand held apart placatingly. “Your Majesty, please understand it gives me no joy to do this” he slithered. The King’s eyes widened in horror as a pillow covered his face.

 

 

Still Living Happily Ever After:

1. Oinky Boinky

2. Athena

3. Machiabelly

4. Lisin

5. The Crazed Spruce

6. stacey

8. Drogo

9. Lady Calypso

10. TJtrack99

11. MarkHB

12. caprice

14. SVNBob

15. Dougal

16. aquarian1

17. egavasc

18. CuriousParker replaced by Jesse

19. Tmunz

 

The Mostly ALL Dead:

• Jesse – Yellin, Neutral, Recruitable.

You are the leader of The Brute Squad, neither a Hero or Villain unless recruited, until then you may choose to assist the heroes or villains as you see fit. You deal with outlaws and ruffians without mercy as instructed by your superiors. If recruited you will endeavour for your side to win.

• Hanged Man – The King, A Hero, Mason with The Queen.

You are an old but kind man, slowly becoming senile, deaf, and difficult to understand… however, you are still King of Florin. Due to your ailing health, you’ve relinquished all but a few of the ruling duties to your son Prince Humperdinck, who has let the power go to his head and now looks to your neighbouring countries with greedy eyes. You have a soft spot in your heart for Buttercup because she once kissed you. Together with The Queen, you form a mason pair and may communicate outside the game thread.

• CuriousParker – removed from the game upon request replaced by Jesse.

 

You have 48 hrs until Night falls. If 1 or more lynch(es) are in progress at that time, that include 50% or more of the remaining players an extension will be granted. (17 players are left, which means 9 are needed to complete a DL.)

 

There is ONE clue in the story. 

[Drogo]

Welcome back, Jesse!  CP wishing you well and we'll see you when you get back. 

 

And Hanged Man... we will avenge you!  But we will never forgive you for naming your (then)innocent baby "Humperdinck."  That's probably why he turned so rotten.

[Jesse]

Best wishes, CP!

 

So I really was only mostly dead!

[egavasc]

Oh man y'all, you took out Hanged Man? He never gets to play, always dying early! Such a bummer. 

 

Hope everything is well CP!