Futurama Mafia

[TJtrack99]

This is a very picturesque thread. I am not even sure who half of the pictures are insulting. Please, from now on, be sure to tag them "Heroes be like" or "Villains be like" It is easier for old people like me to keep.

How about: everyone else be like

 

 

and I be like

 

(said completely deadpan...as Brittany does. Yes, I do occasionally identify with Brittany.)

[MuuMuuChainsmoker]

 

I just wanted to feel part of the action.  

[Guest]

Okay, HM, this is part of what I was saying the other night.

 

What?  What'd you say?  Tell me!

[egavasc]

Night 11
          Emperor Lrrr OF THE PLANET OMICRON PERSEI 8 was determined. Today, he was going to conquer a planet. Today, he was going to get that nag of a wife off his back and do his legacy proud. Today, he was going to be worthy of his name and his position. The Emperor flew his spaceship in the direction of the PTV galaxy. Taking the advice of his sometimes friend, often foe, Leela, Lrrr was headed to the GoT planet. Leela had informed him that the people there were primitive and over involved with their own squabbles and wars to care about preparing for outside invaders. This would be easy. He could show up, announce that he was going to conquer the planet, fire some laser cannons, and those still standing would be too scared to do anything else. He didn’t even need any Omicronian soldiers; he was all alone ready to take all of the glory. Then Ndnd would respect him and maybe he could watch his shows in peace. He could usually go a couple of months between conquerings before she’d be diminishing his manhood again. Didn’t have the largest of horns amongst all of the Omicronians? Of course he did.
          As Emperor Lrrr approached the planet, he noticed three large objects circling the orb. Strange, his military strategists had not told him of any satellites surrounding the GoT planet. And these objects didn’t seem to be orbiting in any typical fashion. And did it seem like they were flapping wings? It couldn’t be, could it? No one made satellites that had mobile parts like that, it just wasn’t practical. These couldn’t be satellites, Emperor Lrrr thought as he cautiously approached one. Suddenly the UFOs started heading towards his ship, almost as if they had sensed him. Lrrr activated his external shields in preparation; whatever was headed for him would have to put up a fight.
          The UFOs approached and Emperor Lrrr realized that he may have met his match. Leela, would pay for not telling him that there were giant space dragons protecting this planet. He would probably have to eat her again (she had seemingly survived the last devouring, maybe a second one wouldn’t be so bad). Clearly this planet had to be left behind, he could handle maybe one space dragon on his own but three would overwhelm his shields. Frantically racing away, Lrrr thought he could out run them. But then, the largest of the three appeared in front of the ship, entrapping him fully. The dragons let out a synchronized burst of flames. Minutes later, all that remained was ash and the dragons returned to ensuring their planet’s safety for eons to come.

 

Still Alive and Well in New New York

• CuriousParker
• SilverStormm
• Machiabelly
• saoirse
• SVNBob
• Lady Calypso
• Dougal
• The Crazed Spruce
• caprice
• Jesse
• TJTrack99
• aquarian1
• OinkyBoinky

 

Now in Robot Hell

• HangedMan - Scruffy - Magistrate
  What else can be said, you are Scruffy. Planet Express’s janitor, most of the employees have no idea you exist. Regardless, you have a deep and abiding love for Planet Express (and your mop bucket). Where else could you do so little and get away with viewing so much Zero G Juggs? As such, during twilight you may protect someone from the results of a day lynch if you fear they have been wrongly accused.
• Deadpool - Huge Brain - role blocker
  You are the Huge Brain of the Brainspawn, an alien race set out to understand the whole universe. Once your race has compiled all of the information on the universe, you will destroy it to ensure no future information can be created. Your race has the power to stupification fields, making everyone in the vicinity dumber. Your ability to block the Delta Brain Wave allows you to select one person per night and stop their abilities for the night.
• Lisin - Hermes - Tracker
  You are Hermes Conrad, Grade 36 bureaucrat and proud of it. If there ever was a man born to file, stamp, and collate it would be you. Before becoming a bureaucrat professionally (let’s be real, you’ve always been a bureaucrat. You were requiring applications in triplicate to your tenth birthday party!), you were an Olympic limboer who was only bested by your fiercest rival Barbados Slim. Although you are anal only 78.36% of the time, each night you may fill out the proper forms to track the movements of one player.
• Drogo - Hedonismbot - Jack-of-all-Trades
  You are Hedonismbot, a robot with with the concept of hedonism written right into your very code! As your sole purpose is to seek pleasure, you over indulge in just about everything - chocolate icing, sex orgies, opera, you name it. You are made of solid gold and have a robosexual relationship with your valet Djambi. You have the ability to indulge in powers, to once investigate, once protect, and once operate as a vigilante. How delightful!
• MuuMuuChainsmoker - Donbot - Vanilla
  You are the Donbot, head of the Robot Mafia. You are from the planet Sicily 8 and are accompanied by your goons Clamps and Joey Mousepad who do your dirty work. You are out for revenge, seeking penance for the many crimes Bender has committed against you not limited to sleeping with your wife and your daughter! You have no additional powers in this game.
• Spiro Agnew - NPC
• BizBuzz - President Nixon - 2 kill
  You are President Nixon, President of Earth. The head of the 37th US President kept alive in a jar, you are carried around by the headless body of Vice President Spiro Agnew. You won the election for President of Earth by one vote and proceeded to enlist the people of Earth into pointless wars. Typically you can be found playing poker with the Robot Devil. Any attack against you will first kill the headless body of Agnew.
• Athena - Zoidberg - Doctor (weak)
  You are Doctor John Zoidberg, alien from the planet Decapod 10. The only member of the original crew of Planet Express, you are the staff doctor. Your medical knowledge is suspect; for some reason they allow you to treat humans with absolutely no understanding of their anatomy. As such, you are incredibly poor and despised generally by the rest of the crew. Your skills may allow you to heal one person per night, provided the odds be in their favor. Heads, they’re safe. Tails, well, you snipped them in the wrong kerjigger.
• The Onion Knight - Professor Farnsworth - 2 kill
  You are Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth! A misdirected genius, your inventions always take a odd bent. Like the Smell-O-Scope, because smelling space is clearly more useful than seeing it. Owner and CEO of Planet Express, you often send your crew on suicide missions due to your lack of a gooey moral center. That may also explain your collection of doomsday devices. Although you are practically decrepit, ancient, and falling apart, you are protected by the gargoyle Pazuzu who owes you a great debt. As such, it will take two attempts on your life for death to give you that sweet relief.
• Firearcher - Calculon - vanilla
  You are Antonio Calculon, famous star of long running robot soap opera All My Circuits. You are known for your magnificent elocution and melodramatic nature on and off screen. While it’s rumored that you received your talents from the Robot Devil himself, you always seek to prove yourself. One day the Academy will recognize you for the talent you are. ONE DAY!
• MarkHB - Emperor Lrrr - villain protector
• You are Emperor Lrrr, RULER OF THE PLANET OMICRON PERSEI 8. Lover of Earth sitcoms, violence, conquering planets, and eating just about everything, you have a minor protective streak for things you’ve deemed worthy.  While obsessed with Earth pop culture, the nature of humans perplexes you as you do not understand why they often do not resort to violence. For example, why Ross, the largest Friend, does not simply eat the other five. Perhaps they are saving that for sweeps. Each night you may protect one member of your team, but you may not protect the same person twice. That person will be safe through to the next night.

There are no clues in the story. Please get your night actions in by 7:45pm EDT Thursday (the sooner your actions are in the sooner I can write things!). Enjoy the bar. Also I might like dragons a little too much. 

[Drogo]

DRINKSSSSSSSSSSS.

[formerlyfreedom]

For Machiabelly;

 

Heroes be like:

 

[Oinky Boinky]

So very glad. 

Persistence pays off 

Thank you heroes

[caprice]

Something with rum, now, please.

And when I say, "rum," I mean LOTS of rum.

[FormerMod-a1]

I already had 2.5 glasses of wine, so I'll request some apps!  

 

[MuuMuuChainsmoker]

[egavasc]

[The Crazed Spruce]

HA! About damn time!

Serves you right, Mark, for reminding us that Brenchel exists....

[Lady Calypso]

Yeah, Brenchel is....well, I fear for the future, that's for sure, especially since THEY JUST HAD A KID.

 

[Jesse]

Rachel finally got her baby??? (I kind of love them.)

Edited April 21, 2016 by Jesse

[Jesse]

PS: Heroes be like:

[MarkHB]

If whoever is in charge of the resurrection machine would kindly do us a solid and bring our Imperial Majesty back, we would be most grateful. We would even promise not to eat you. TIA.

[MuuMuuChainsmoker]

Poor Lrrr is never going to hear the end of this from the Missus. 

[Machiabelly]

Finally, I thought he would never die.

[Hanged Man]

Okay, HM, this is part of what I was saying the other night.

 

 

What?  What'd you say?  Tell me!

 

 

Some buddies and I were discussing why the wimmenfolk seemed to swoon for Tom Hiddleston. We couldn't see it. He seems a little... foppish. So I asked caprice

Edited April 21, 2016 by Hanged Man

[MuuMuuChainsmoker]

Some buddies and I were discussing why the wimmenfolk seemed to swoon for Tom Hiddleston. We couldn't see it. He seems a little... foppish. So I asked caprice

 

Oh man.  I was never really a Hiddleston woman until I watched The Night Manager.  Hel-LO, sailor!

[SnideAsides]

I'm not saying I worry for Rachel's kid; I'm just saying I hope the kid is taught to swim by someone who understands that floaters are the one kind of people who don't actually need a life vest.

[formerlyfreedom]

If whoever is in charge of the resurrection machine would kindly do us a solid and bring our Imperial Majesty back, we would be most grateful. We would even promise not to eat you. TIA.

As if!

 

Oh man.  I was never really a Hiddleston woman until I watched The Night Manager.  Hel-LO, sailor!

 

*saoirse shoves MuuMuuChainsmoker out of the way*

 

Get in line! ;)

 

Also, because you all have started a gif-searching-monster...

 

 

[Oinky Boinky]

Give my buddy Smitty anything she wants...

[Athena]

*Floats in*

 

Saoirse and I have a time share on Hiddles. Ladies and Gents, please go behind us.

 

 

 

*Floats out*

[MuuMuuChainsmoker]

Submitted for your consideration:

 

http://www.bustle.com/articles/44212-10-tom-hiddleston-dance-moves-that-will-blow-you-away

[Firearcher]

Floats In>>>>   You won't be seeing my ass around here anymore.

[formerlyfreedom]

*Floats in*

 

Saoirse and I have a time share on Hiddles. Ladies and Gents, please go behind us.

 

 

 

*Floats out*

 

Submitted for your consideration:

 

http://www.bustle.com/articles/44212-10-tom-hiddleston-dance-moves-that-will-blow-you-away

 

I will now accomplish NOTHING tonight.

 

MMCS, you can always join Athena and I in our Hiddles-drool-a-thon. You know where to find us!

 

Floats In>>>>   You won't be seeing my ass around here anymore.

 

Is that a reference to your avatar? Because I hope you'll keep playing!

[SnideAsides]

Ladies and Gents, please go behind us.

You had me at "behind".

[caprice]

Some buddies and I were discussing why the wimmenfolk seemed to swoon for Tom Hiddleston. We couldn't see it. He seems a little... foppish. So I asked caprice

I'll admit I told HM that I find Hiddles (heh) adorable, but not necessarily swoon-worthy. I see why they say "foppish," and have suggested they give The Night Manager a watch. I'm a fan of the acting range and sense of humor more than his looks. That said, my god, those eyes....

Oh man.  I was never really a Hiddleston woman until I watched The Night Manager.  Hel-LO, sailor!

I'm looking forward to seeing him and Hugh Laurie going head to head.

Snide! Hey, babe, how are you?!?

Oh, and that Snake Hips move? I've been doing that for a very long time.

[Drogo]

I'm not saying I worry for Rachel's kid; I'm just saying I hope the kid is taught to swim by someone who understands that floaters are the one kind of people who don't actually need a life vest.

Someone fucking tell me why Snide's not playing with us. Someone, now, tell me.

And the hell with you ladyfolk, spend 10+ hours a week trying to stay Thor-ed up and y'all swoon for skinny ass Loki. It's wrong, wrong I tell you.

[caprice]

y'all swoon for skinny ass Loki.

That's something I forgot to mention during the conversation we were having last night. I do prefer my men to have some meat on their bones.

[Drogo]

^^^Like.^^^

[formerlyfreedom]

That's something I forgot to mention during the conversation we were having last night. I do prefer my men to have some meat on their bones.

 

See, this is what confuses me. I usually do too (in fact, was explaining to a friend today that TH is too thin to be James Bond, bring me IDRIS ELBA), but for some reason, the Hidds does it for me.

 

Other men who 'do it for me', that I can't figure out why; Vin Diesel. Jason Statham. Bob Newhart.

[Drogo]

No shame; Bob Newhart does it for me, too.

One inking closer to becoming Batman:

[SnideAsides]

I have this strange urge to point out Jason Statham was once an elite-level diver. I don't know why.

[egavasc]

Y'all can have Tom Hiddleston. Just means more Chris Evans for me!

[Oinky Boinky]

Floats In>>>> You won't be seeing my ass around here anymore.

Love your ass. Will miss your emoting.

[Hanged Man]

The question is what is it about Hiddles that makes you all befluttered, don't just say you are befluttered explain the beflutterness

[BizBuzz]

The question is what is it about Hiddles that makes you all befluttered, don't just say you are befluttered explain the beflutterness

 

He's got charisma.  Look up the definition, I am sure you will see his picture.

[Jesse]

FTR, I love the Hiddles, but am more of a Greater Hems person, really, although I will also take any of the Chrises. 

 

I mean. 

[Drogo]

I know for a fact many of the womenfolk find this one befluttery, too:

 

 

**I can understand this one, because he weighs over 150 and therefore cannot shop in the Boys Department.

[caprice]

See, this is what confuses me. I usually do too (in fact, was explaining to a friend today that TH is too thin to be James Bond, bring me IDRIS ELBA), but for some reason, the Hidds does it for me.

 

Other men who 'do it for me', that I can't figure out why; Vin Diesel. Jason Statham. Bob Newhart.

What I'm finding is that a sense of humor is very important. If a man can make me laugh, he becomes more attractive. That phone commercial with Statham playing all the roles cracks me up. He looks like he had a ball shooting it.

He's got charisma.  Look up the definition, I am sure you will see his picture.

Charisma helps. The problem is that it is not easy to explain.

[formerlyfreedom]

That phone commercial with Statham playing all the roles cracks me up. He looks like he had a ball shooting it.

 

OMG YES! I run into the room to watch it when I hear the music playing!

[Drogo]

Watch me now, watch me now ♫

[BizBuzz]

Charisma helps. The problem is that it is not easy to explain.

 

The definition of charisma is "compelling attractiveness or charm" ... compelling can mean irresistible ... and charm is delight.

 

The mere presence of the man has an energy that is unexplainable, he just oozes something that is irresistible.  

 

At least that is my take ...

 

And just for the record, I happen to like lanky guys ... Benedict Cumberbatch anyone?  David Tennant?  

 

Add in the British thing, and I swoon.

[egavasc]

Ooooh. I am here for the appreciation of David Tennant.

[MarkHB]

Wow... Chyna is dead.  I was long past watching the WWE by the time she came along, but she was at the forefront of women's pro wrestling becoming something beyond "the Fabulous Moolah faces some mook".

 

[Hanged Man]

That phone commercial with Statham playing all the roles cracks me up. He looks like he had a ball shooting it.

I love the part where he is robbing a bank with a Jason Statham mask on

 

And just for the record, I happen to like lanky guys ... Benedict Cumberbatch anyone?

Nothing wrong with Benedict or Statham or Chris Pine it just seems like Hiddles isnt as good looking as those guys.

 

Wow... Chyna is dead.

I saw that and she was only 45 *adjusts collar nervously*

[formerlyfreedom]

Nothing wrong with Benedict or Statham or Chris Pine it just seems like Hiddles isnt as good looking as those guys.

 

I'd agree with that, actually. And I absolutely agree with the sense of humor being the most important factor to me. Lennie Briscoe did it for me far more than Chris Noth or Benjamin Bratt. Now Jesse L. Green...well, he edged Lennie out, but just barely!

[Athena]

All the men folk! I like the Chrises too and Tennant will always have a special place in my heart. I have seen Tennant on stage and yeah, he's very lanky. The camera does add a few lbs. 

 

Pretty sure Hiddles weighs over 150. He's close to 6'3" in height so the weight is well distributed. He does have a tiny waist though; they even mentioned it on the Night Manger: 32".