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Golden Girls Alphabet Game


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E is for Elephant Man.  Dorothy would like it strictly because it's interesting and she could learn something.  Blanche would wonder if the poor man was completely deprived of female companionship.  Rose would have a story about someone like that from St. Olaf.  And Sophia would also have a story..."Picture it, Sicily, 1929..." in which she broke his heart and that is the reason for the poor man's condition.

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F is for Fargo, Rose's favorite movie because it reminds her of Springtime in St. Olaf. But only the snow and ice, not the murders.

Except it does kinda remind her of St. Olaf's only serial killer, Anders Von Andersen. Neighbors would see his car parked outside homes and then the residents would disappear, never to be seen again. Finally, the sheriff went to question Anders, and -- you're not going to believe this -- turns out he wasn't a serial killer after all! He'd just gotten his travel agent's license and was helping people move to Miami, even volunteering to drive them to the airport in St. Gustav. Everyone sure did have a good laugh once they unstrapped Anders from the electric chair. He moved shortly afterwards, though.

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F is for Fargo, Rose's favorite movie because it reminds her of Springtime in St. Olaf. But only the snow and ice, not the murders.

Except it does kinda remind her of St. Olaf's only serial killer, Anders Von Andersen. Neighbors would see his car parked outside homes and then the residents would disappear, never to be seen again. Finally, the sheriff went to question Anders, and -- you're not going to believe this -- turns out he wasn't a serial killer after all! He'd just gotten his travel agent's license and was helping people move to Miami, even volunteering to drive them to the airport in St. Gustav. Everyone sure did have a good laugh once they unstrapped Anders from the electric chair. He moved shortly afterwards, though.

 

That's a St. Olaf story I've never heard before -- and it it weird that I can hear it in Rose's voice?

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That's a St. Olaf story I've never heard before -- and it it weird that I can hear it in Rose's voice?

I borrowed one of Rose's lines from the Druid priests/Shriners looking for a good time story ("you're not going to believe this"). Plus she told a few stories about people leaving/being run out of town so I was hoping mine would fit her character. :-) Mostly I just wanted to make a joke that Minnesota was icy and cold during spring.

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J is for Jaws.  Sophia would recount tales of the sharks in Sicily and Rose would tell about the family who thought they had a sweet goldfish in their fishbowl, but it turned out to be a shark.  The controversy over what to do with it nearly ruined St. Olaf.

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N is for North by Northwest.  Dorothy just likes it, period, Blanche likes looking at Cary Grant (and equating her bone structure with Eva Marie Saint's), and Rose likes it but asks a dumb question about Mount Rushmore.

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O is for Out of Africa. Blanche has seen it many times with Mel Bushman so she can explain the plot when they all watch it together.

 

I'm surprised she can.  As Joan Rivers once wrote about Heidi Abromowitz (that tramp!), because of what Blanche usually does during a movie date, she's watched more movies than Siskel & Ebert but actually seen fewer of them than Helen Keller.

Edited by legaleagle53
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V is for Vertigo. They all thought Mr. Jimmy Stewart was so handsome and loved this movie except for Sophia who proclaimed it "stupid, stupid, stupid" because in Sicily you never go back to the scene of a crime.

W is for 4 Weddings & a Funeral. The Girls all have experienced both. Blanche & Sophia even had their own funerals while still alive.

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X is for Xanadu, which Dorothy, Blanche, and Rose can accidentally catch on TV the next time they are procrastinating when Sophia goes out to buy a nectarine. Dorothy will cringe, Rose will critique the skating technique, and Blanche will get bored and decide to make mimosas and french-kiss the pillows instead.

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The ladies experience the dawn of the woman's movement.  What happens?

 

I'm all over this, but I want to make sure I adhere to your premise -- we're putting them back in the Anthony/Stanton/Mott era of the women's movement focused on suffrage?

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Second wave feminism works fine for me, I just wanted to be clear what era you were talking about (so I knew whether to list things they'd have experienced in real time, at the age they were, or if I was going to be putting them back in time as if they were adults during the first wave).

 

A is for (federal) affirmative action policy, which was expanded in 1967 to include gender-based discrimination.  Dorothy began wondering if the male substitute teachers were being paid more and given better assignments than the women who made up the majority of the substitute pool.

Edited by Bastet
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C is for contraceptive pills.  The girls would have been totally in favor of this development (except for Sophia's Catholic beliefs perhaps), even though they would have absolutely no need for them at their age.

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C is for contraceptive pills.  The girls would have been totally in favor of this development (except for Sophia's Catholic beliefs perhaps), even though they would have absolutely no need for them at their age.

 

I don't know -- you know how Blanche is about admitting her age.  Menopause was quite the traumatic experience for her, remember?

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I don't know -- you know how Blanche is about admitting her age.  Menopause was quite the traumatic experience for her, remember?

 

Oh, Blanche would never have admitted to not needing the pill.

 

E is for the Equal Rights Amendment.  Even though Rose wouldn't have understood it and Blanche would be worried that she wouldn't be considered better than men.

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F is for The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan.  Dorothy did fist pumps all the way through it.  Blanche was disappointed; from the title, she thought it was about something completely different.

Edited by Bastet
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Blanche was disappointed; from the title, she thought it was about something completely different.

 

Ha ha!  She probably thought it was about her!  The Feminine Mystique:  The Saga of Water Lily

 

H is for the housewives (like Blanche and Rose) who were addressed in said book.

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Oops, I forgot about this game.

 

K is for President John F. Kennedy, who established the President's Commission on the Status of Women.  Dorothy wished she could take part, if for no other reason than to meet chairperson Eleanor Roosevelt.  Blanche saw it was a bunch of women, and figured there was no point unless she could meet and flirt with JFK.

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H is for Aileen Hernandez, the first woman to serve on the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission in 1964, and also the second national president of the National Organization for Women in 1973. Dorothy would have felt some pride as Hernandez was born in Brooklyn.

Edited by AndySmith
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L is for Liberation. They would've all burned their bras and felt liberated.

M is for meetings, except in those days they were called "conscious raising" groups, where women would sit around and bitch about their husbands.

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A bit of trivia, since this is a common mistake: NOW is the National Organization for Women.

 

O is for the omission of women's issues from the platforms of many progressive organizations in the '60s, which kicked the second wave into high gear and turned the organized women's liberation movement into something the characters would really start hearing and thinking about.

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