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Married to Medicine Los Angeles - General Discussion


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14 minutes ago, Rlb8031 said:

Yes, this was Dr. (Nicole??) who's daughter was having a problem adjusting to the move from public to private school for middle school. Both she and Asha did not return this year. While I think Asha's husband put the kibosh on having the discussion about trying to conceive the baby he clearly did not want on tv, I think Nicole either left voluntarily or was hit with the dreaded B label (boring).

🤔

https://www.hiphollywood.com/2020/04/asha-kamali-reveals-why-shes-not-on-new-season-of-married-to-medicine-la/

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7 hours ago, NowVoyager said:

This is setting such a good example!  Every time someone has a messy situation and they keep re-upping their contract to be on reality TV, and people feel sorry for them, I always scream (through my fingertips) “why don’t they get off reality TV?!?!”  Asha here has set a great example that it’s not worth it.  I respect her so much, and I see that she has values.

They asked her if she would film with her husband’s ex, and she said “I absolutely would not.”  Yes!!! 

I am also going to use this as an example when people inevitably respond (without evidence) that someone can’t leave reality TV because they have a contract and leaving will bankrupt them and leave them on the street living in a box, essentially forcing them to act like asses on reality TV.  Thus, they don’t deserve our derision, they deserve our sympathy, because Bravo or Lifetime or TLC owns them.  It doesn’t work that way.  I have posted about this at length on Dance Moms, RHOA, RHBH, etc.  No one can force you to make an ass of yourself on reality TV.  That’s their choice, and it’s my choice to make fun of it guilt free.  And I respect the hell out of anyone who walks away.  I’m wishing her only good things. 

I kind of wish I could attach this link to each one of my posts.  Asha is my hero for today.  

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48 minutes ago, LibertarianSlut said:

This is setting such a good example!  Every time someone has a messy situation and they keep re-upping their contract to be on reality TV, and people feel sorry for them, I always scream (through my fingertips) “why don’t they get off reality TV?!?!”  Asha here has set a great example that it’s not worth it.  I respect her so much, and I see that she has values.

They asked her if she would film with her husband’s ex, and she said “I absolutely would not.”  Yes!!! 

I am also going to use this as an example when people inevitably respond (without evidence) that someone can’t leave reality TV because they have a contract and leaving will bankrupt them and leave them on the street living in a box, essentially forcing them to act like asses on reality TV.  Thus, they don’t deserve our derision, they deserve our sympathy, because Bravo or Lifetime or TLC owns them.  It doesn’t work that way.  I have posted about this at length on Dance Moms, RHOA, RHBH, etc.  No one can force you to make an ass of yourself on reality TV.  That’s their choice, and it’s my choice to make fun of it guilt free.  And I respect the hell out of anyone who walks away.  I’m wishing her only good things. 

I kind of wish I could attach this link to each one of my posts.  Asha is my hero for today.  

I'm with you most of the way on this. However, these women have one season contracts which are subject to renewal each new season. At the end of the season, you absolutely can walk away. What is more difficult would be starting to film, then saying mid-season "nope, I'm out". Once you've signed your life away you're locked in until that season is over.

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^^^

I think we’re in 90+% agreement.  I was careful to say that no one has to act like an ass on a reality show.  They can show up to their jobs and be friendly and professional and go on girls’ trips and not act like crazy drunken women.  They’re responsible for their behavior.  

Also, I think there is just walking away if there is something that they didn’t anticipate during the season.  Everyone draws their line in different places.  For me, I draw my line at animal abuse.  If I was on a reality show and they told me as part of a girls’ trip I had to go to a horse farm and go on a trail ride, and when I got there if I saw the horses were being mistreated, I would just walk away, because that would take a part of my soul.  I would bring it to the attention of the media and if this was somehow a violation of my contract, the production company could come after me, that’s fine.  The worst they can do is take most of my assets, they can’t put me in jail.  The BK laws would protect me so that I would keep a roof over my head and a vehicle to get to and from the job I would find in the want ads if I had to.  

No one is going to get me to participate in animal abuse.  No one could get Asha to keep looking like a jealous woman.  I would suggest these women get lawyers on retainer before they sign their contracts, because if the contract calls for the women to “get drunk and act wild” and they sign it, then they agreed to do that on TV with premeditation and I have no sympathy for them.

Every once in a blue moon something can just happen to someone, I get it.  We don’t all make great decisions all the time, or at least I don’t.  But walking away is always an option, and those who choose not to exercise that option they remain fodder for my amusement and/or derision.  As soon as they chose to disabuse themselves of that behavior, like Asha, I believe in redemption.  Right now, to me, Asha isn’t the woman who put her problems on reality TV, she is the woman who was courageous enough to walk away.  For what it’s worth. 

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I like the storyline of Jazmin helping Kendra get in shape.  I like that Kendra’s being honest about her size.  Whenever they show a picture of her pregnant, though, she looks thinner than she does now.  Her face is much smaller, even in pictures that look like they were taken in her third trimester.  I don’t know if she had the baby and became less active afterward, or if she was just using a hell of a lot of contouring makeup then.  I’d like to hear more about that.  I said she looked more like a size 18 or 20 in the past, but she does look like a 16 now and I’m glad she’s not lying and saying she’s an eight (which is something I think a lot of other women do on Bravo, and they somehow get away with it).  I don’t think lying helps with body positivity.  I think the truth is what helps.  

I would like to see Kendra get back to a size six, if that’s her goal, and it doesn’t seem unattainable.  This journey is something that would actually make me want to watch the show more than I currently want to watch it.  

So Lia said Kendra looked like “a fighter pilot” in her outfit and that’s what drove drama the past three episodes?  Alrighty then.  

Shanique is horrible at role play.  Although I don’t think Jazmin should be on this show on principle—she’s married to medicine, but we can’t see her husband—but she seems like a positive influence on reality TV.  She is a go-getter.  She did the body building competition in 2013, and she put a business plan together so that her husband would fund her business.  I like all of those things.  

Imani seems less and less like she should be practicing psychiatry each week.  I think it’s fine if she has a New York accent—that’s where she’s from after all—but I think she’s leaning on it on purpose to show that she’s real.  I’m from New York, and very few people sound that exaggerated, especially the educated people.  As a native New Yorker, I’ve also known my fair share of people who moved to LA, and none of them sound like that after a period of years.  Imani’s mom doesn’t sound anything like that either.  

I don’t think Imani should talk about some of the things she talks about, like how she became a doctor, despite all the marijuana smoking and Freaknicking.  Sometimes it seems like she’s taking advantage of the fact that her patients are seriously mentally ill.  I think if she had a private practice and had to appeal to clients, she wouldn’t be airing her dirty laundry like this.  I would certainly not make an appointment with a psychiatrist who talks about barely getting through medical school because of drug use.  

Last season and this season, I like Imani’s mom so much more than I like her.  I also like Irdis, he seems like a good kid, so I don’t know what happened to Imani.  I think she’s really, really, really insecure.  

We’re in episode five, but we haven’t met Lia’s family or seen her home and she’s a full-time cast member?  And Contessa had to go on the girls’ trip?  What is going on with this franchise?  Why couldn’t they just send the entire LA cast and not Contessa to New Orleans?  That had the potential to be a lot of fun.  

I don’t care about Contessa.  She can barely hold her own on her own show.  Every reunion she is seated at the very end.  So, of course, why not foist her on the failing show?  That makes sense.  Though, out of everyone at the table in that New Orleans restaurant, I realized Contessa has the best marriage, and her marriage to Scott was rough last season.  Contessa lives with her husband, and he sleeps in her bed, so I guess she’s the winner by default.  And I have to admit that Contessa was making some good points about marriage.  

I think the editors realized that they’ve been delivering a subpar product with the whole “still to come this season” at the end.  Whenever a show is flailing, they do that.  Maybe it’ll get better, although I think a cast overhaul would be advised.  What ever happened to M2M Houston?  I loved them.  

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I feel like Shaniq and Jazmin have WAAAYYYY too much time on their hands!  They have time to cover every last dang thing said in a conversation.  OK, they both work.  Can we SEE them work a little?? A smidge?

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Episode 5:

Quote

"Homecoming Queens"

Kendra enlists the help of some wildlife and wine to mend Shanique and Lia’s broken friendship. On her first mission as Kendra's fitness coach, Jazmin lays down the law, raiding her kitchen from top to bottom. Imani and Britten take off for New Orleans to meet up with Contessa for Xavier’s Homecoming weekend. Imani opens up about her dark past and relationship struggles.

Airs May 31, 2020.

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New Orleans was my favorite character on this episode.

Imani can’t be helping her business by doing this show - must be transitioning into a new career. Her marriage looks over.

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I enjoyed the three Dr.'s together traveling to New Orleans. They were fun yet civil and mature. Their dinner table talk in the restaurant felt real. But....Britten, honey. Your marriage is in as bad a shape as Imani's and Contessa had her fair share or marital discord so all three should heed their own advice. The fact that Britten doesn't want to put her son in his own bed and likes him with her and admitted she and her hot husband are not having sex is glaring big ole' red flags at that marriage. 

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(edited)

I ain't mad at Jasmin... she may appear a little ditsy at times but she does gives good advice and feedback....

When Jasmin did that full squat to the floor, knees up to the ears, while reading a juice carton and popped back up...Yeah- Kendra sign up... and accept life has happened so you might not get back to a 6, but focus on healthy & trimmer..

Shanique - about that powerpoint that you spent all of 15 minutes on...that's not a business plan on switching careers... Know your audience girl ... you man is expecting something with a little more thought, research, figures, and planning..

image.png.6a0325bbabfb45b4d4f3d1a8ecf4dc8f.png

 

Edited by sATL
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(edited)

hold up Britten... Food Stamps for a child last through college? I guess I thought when the child turns 18, that was the end of the program for the child...

Edited by sATL
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I think Shanique is a dingbat and if her marriage works for her, then great.  It would not for me.  I will discuss a career change with my husband, but I’m not seeking his permission nor am I making a PowerPoint presentation.  Her kids are in school so her needing to be home all the time is less of an issue.

I don’t know why they have to keep bringing in the Atlanta cast especially if we get the show they promise in the previews but we’re already a few episodes in...
 

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On ‎6‎/‎1‎/‎2020 at 4:42 PM, sATL said:

hold up Britten... Food Stamps for a child last through college? I guess I thought when the child turns 18, that was the end of the program for the child...

They don't last past 18 as a child. However, you can file at 18 as an adult for food stamps. Most college students meet the income requirements and if parents are not supporting them (they are taking out 100% loans or some loan/scholarship combo with no parent support) it used to be easy to do. I went to college in the late 20th century and while this wasn't re regular thing I knew a handful of kids who signed up for food stamps to make sure they didn't starve while trying to get an education.

On ‎5‎/‎31‎/‎2020 at 10:13 PM, LibertarianSlut said:

I don’t care about Contessa.  She can barely hold her own on her own show.  Every reunion she is seated at the very end.  So, of course, why not foist her on the failing show?  That makes sense.

I assumed that the college chose all three women to participate at Homecoming as alumnae and Bravo couldn't pass up the chance to turn this into a girls trip. I don't imagine that Bravo has enough pull at HBCUs to be able to demand they invite cast members to stuff or we'd see Gizelle jammed up at every Hampton event possible.

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Argh why no new episode?  Esp during BLM protests. This show can be a positive representation of professional Black women.

I've read on other sites that Bravo may be behind on post production as staff are working from home???

A couple of episodes ago, Britten and Imani took their kids to an African American museum and talked about BLM-type related matters.  I thought that was really poignant.

 

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I'm not gonna name names, but Ole Girl's nose job is atrocious. I can't take my eyes off of it. It's like a 1980s nose job, before the medical community learned to take ethnic differences into account. For any race, the triangular nostrils are a dead give away.

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I admit that I'm a little overboard on these things but I really wasn't a fan of whatever Britten's daughter had on her 8 year old lips. Its definitely not helping the attitude. 

Lia's daughter wasn't giving up ANY tapes at that little GYN visit.

Jazmine's body is amazing but I can't with the OCD of it all

I feel bad for Imani and I wonder how long she and Phil have been having these problems 

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The women on this franchise seem more controlled by their husbands than the other one.  I think it’s weird that Hobart would forbid Kendra from working, and weird that she’d go on a secret interview.  Then there’s Phil living away from Imani indefinitely and not wanting to see her, and Robert giving Shanique a “task” of proving that she’s serious enough to work outside of the home.  

I thought Contessa, Britten and Imani were kind of embarrassing at the panel.  None of them said anything that would have been helpful to me as a lay person, let alone future doctors.  Contessa looked like a lady of the evening with her thigh high boots and she messed up “YOLO.”  I don’t think that was a micro aggression that Imani experienced when she interviewed for medial director and they asked if she was ok being a staff psychiatrist.  It sounds like the place at which she was interviewing was either disorganized, which happens much more often than it should on job interviews, or they asked every single applicant whether they would be happy to be staff psychiatrist, and everyone who replied in the affirmative was weeded out.  That’s not a micro aggression, that’s a trick question.  And Britten cursed at a Catholic school and said that she has to sometimes “throw down” at work.  Da fuq?  

I have to go to continuing legal education classes from time to time, and all of the panelists are generally likable, relatable and funny, but they’re dressed well and they say things that are relevant to the profession.  This seemed very off, like reality TV, not a serious seminar.  

I think they could have left the whole Xavier weekend out.  I am so tired of seeing Contessa.  It looks like they’re going to go back to New Orleans at another point in the season, so why would we need to see it twice?  Nothing really interesting happened there.  I’m so tired of seeing Cafe du Monde on reality TV—it’s such a cliche!

I’m glad Lia the full-time cast member made her once every other episode pop-up appearance.  Lia is only roughly 34 with that hairline??  Didn’t Jackie or Simone do the same exact OB-GYN talk with Mariah’s teenage daughter in her office on the other M2M this past season?  Kind of boring.  I would be much more interested in Lia and her pregnancy that altered the course of her life because she was so Catholic and didn’t know how babies were made at 18 if they treated her like a full-time character, because I actually do think that is a really interesting story, especially for someone who went on to become a “business entrepreneur,” as the Bravo website describes her.  Like, what is that story?  How did that come do be?  I’d much rather hear about that than see Contessa offering her makeup artist a sip of coffee out of her mug.  Who offers that?  Just offer the lady her own coffee.  Gross.  

The Imani problem train continues another week.  Last time she almost couldn’t become a doctor because she smoked too much marijuana and spent too much time at the Freaknique.  This week she reveals that she has/had such severe depression that she’d “forget to eat for days” and lose 10 lbs as a regular thing?  This is aside from her marital issues.  Does this woman really belong on a reality show right now?  I think she should probably take a leave of absence from her job, get off reality TV, and get herself some really good therapy.  Her marriage is going to implode and then what is going to happen to her?  It’s hard to believe that she’s seeing severely mentally ill patients and prescribing them medicine right now.  I wouldn’t be surprised if she wasn’t already on a leave of absence from her job.  Have we actually seen her work this season?

I liked Britten’s daughter.  She seemed much more mature than eight, and sassy.  Since she had charisma, I’m sure she’ll never get her own scene again.  This show seems dead set on the cosmically boring.    

Jazmin checks her blood sugar after eating an ice cream sample and she’s not diabetic, she does it all in the quest to “have abs”?  Seems a little weird, but it’s not depressing like some of these other women, like Imani and Britten.  Even Kendra and Shanique were downers this week.  I think Imani is envious of Jazmin and has been ever since this series started.  

I still find Jazmin’s quest to get Kendra from 210 lbs to a size six the most compelling thing about this show, because they’re dealing with the emotional and practical parts of losing weight, as opposed to the way most shows approach it—Rocky montages and running the streets of LA and then a weigh-in.  It’s still a little snooze worthy though.  

But next week is horseback riding, and the horse walks a little too close to the right side of the trail, so I‘ll be sure to tune in.  (Joke’s on me, though, because I will turn in.  Quarantine viewing is real).  

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Phil is up to no good and Imani needs to find out what's going on.

Jazmin has an amazing body and knows she has to sacrifice to get it.  Most people aren't willing to go to that extreme.

Britten's daughter has too much attitude.  I suspect the reason Britten isn't knocking her into next year is Britten was the same way as a child.

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Episode 6:

Quote

"From Taking Notes to White Coats"

In New Orleans Britten, Imani and Contessa are down for their HBCU's homecoming weekend, but sense something is up with Imani. Kendra, Jaz, and Shanique’s world gets turned upside down as they try their hands at Aerial Yoga. Lia takes her daughter to see Dr. Kendra for her first OBGYN appointment. Later, Imani shares a shocking secret with Britten.

Airs June 14, 2020.

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1 hour ago, LibertarianSlut said:

I thought Contessa, Britten and Imani were kind of embarrassing at the panel.  None of them said anything that would have been helpful to me as a lay person, let alone future doctors.  Contessa looked like a lady of the evening with her thigh high boots and she messed up “YOLO.”

I agree!  I about screamed when Britten said you have to make sure you dress properly as a professional black woman and yet she showed up in pajamas and Contessa is wearing stripper boots.  At least Imani was dressed nice.  

 

12 minutes ago, OnceSane said:

Lia takes her daughter to see Dr. Kendra for her first OBGYN appointment.

Maybe it's just me but having my daughter's first OBGYN appointment broadcast on nationwide TV doesn't seem like a good idea to me.  Did they really think she would open up with cameras glaring at her and cameramen in the room?  That's why I know that a lot of the content on these shows is staged; at least I'm sure this scene was.  If I was Lia's daughter I would be mortified. 

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5 hours ago, NowVoyager said:

I'm not gonna name names, but Ole Girl's nose job is atrocious. I can't take my eyes off of it. It's like a 1980s nose job, before the medical community learned to take ethnic differences into account. For any race, the triangular nostrils are a dead give away.

Please name names!  Which one had the nose job?

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(edited)
9 hours ago, swankie said:

Please name names!  Which one had the nose job?

My guess (though I hope she never sees this, since she’s so picky and might run back to the doc for more surgery):

jazmin-johnson-diet_1.jpg

Edited by nexxie
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(edited)

Maybe being indoors and having time to reflect on life , past, present and future.... I really liked this episode..  I wish I could have seen the entire panel forum at xavier.. If someone finds it online, please drop a note. Even though my medical/science pursuits ended with a "hard earned D" in HS chemistry, I would have loved to see it.. I guess they edited out runaway mouth Contessa's responses.  I liked the flash back to her being queen - dressed up like someone on the Mother's board on 1st sunday.

I admire people who had a "damm good time in college" and want to go back to revive/relive the party... I thought college was hard.. Very damn hard - I was Imani - introvert  - just trying to stay alive and working part-time. No time for pledging (ie they wanted money and time - which I didn't have)... no time for rolling blounts either (they too wanted money).. Walked across the stage with a " thank you lord" honor...

When one asks their husband "are you dying for me to come out there?" and he responds "I got work to do"...after a long pause.." .. wow - drop the mic... my heart broke for Imani..

Jazmin - don't give up... keep running those sprints with Dr. Kendra ... she's not ready for upside down on the ropes - lack of upper body strength and confidence. she did ok on the floor though... gotta look into that diabetic blood checker for fat burning..

Edited by sATL
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16 hours ago, NowVoyager said:

I'm not gonna name names, but Ole Girl's nose job is atrocious. I can't take my eyes off of it. It's like a 1980s nose job, before the medical community learned to take ethnic differences into account. For any race, the triangular nostrils are a dead give away.

I always wonder how she's able to breathe with those nostrils. Her before wasn't bad.

 

34 minutes ago, sATL said:

Maybe being indoors and having time to reflect on life , past, present and future.... I really liked this episode..  I wish I could have seen the entire panel forum at xavier.. If someone finds it online, please drop a note. Even though my medical/science pursuits ended with a "hard earned D" in HS chemistry, I would have loved to see it.. I guess they edited out runaway mouth Contessa's responses.  I liked the flash back to her being queen - dressed up like someone on the Mother's board on 1st sunday.

Ask and you shall receive. Skip to the 30 min mark.

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(edited)
3 hours ago, NotChristine said:

I always wonder how she's able to breathe with those nostrils. Her before wasn't bad.

 

Ask and you shall receive. Skip to the 30 min mark.

Hmmm...  In the intro/bio from the Faculty  moderator- I see contessa didn't seem to submit that she was going to school full time in Nashville, trying to get a public health degree..or had interest in public health...

The bio was great - yeah alot was cut for the episode. But then again all 3 can talk too much.. not sure if the faculty moderator was able to ask all of the questions she had on her note cards.

They were asked about professional dress for DRs at 49 min in...🍿

At 1 hr in... students walked up to the mic to ask questions.. the answer was a little off from where the students are currently in life.. they went on about the work-life-kids balance.. and the student is a freshman..

Edited by sATL
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3 hours ago, nexxie said:

My guess (though I hope she never sees this, since she’s so picky and might run back to the doc for more surgery):

jazmin-johnson-diet_1.jpg

Exactly. Once you see it, you cannot unsee it. 

1 hour ago, NotChristine said:

I always wonder how she's able to breathe with those nostrils. Her before wasn't bad.

Whaat!? You found pictures of her before?

Please pardon me if this has been posted previously, I'm late to this show. But, you know, the 'Rona. She & her apparently mysterious husband seem equally yoked; beautiful, rock hard bodies, pretty faces, bad nose jobs:

615263369_Screenshot_20200615-132645_SamsungInternet.thumb.jpg.79709d9cdef6819118d2a39ed16b8440.jpg

 

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(edited)
12 hours ago, swankie said:

Please name names!  Which one had the nose job?

Lol! @swankie. Do you see what I mean about the triangular nostrils? It's a tell. & a sign of bad work.

2006421892_Screenshot_20200615-132623_SamsungInternet.thumb.jpg.d1920d83b4d4b7058c35f7ffa78dd7a8.jpg

Otherwise they look beautiful & happy together.

Edited by NowVoyager
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Episode 7:

Quote

"Straight Outta Beverly Hills"

Imani reveals the devastating truth about her marriage to Britten. Robert surprises Shanique with a birthday party at the ranch, but things get messy when the ladies question Jazmin’s fitness coaching abilities. Britten and Mack attempt to get their spark back during a night away from the kids, while Kendra and Hobart hit a new low. At her Book Cover Party, Imani makes an unexpected announcement that catches all the ladies off guard.

Airs June 21, 2020.

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10 minutes ago, OnceSane said:

Episode 7:

  QUOTE

"From Taking Notes to White Coats"

In New Orleans Britten, Imani and Contessa are down for their HBCU's homecoming weekend, but sense something is up with Imani. Kendra, Jaz, and Shanique’s world gets turned upside down as they try their hands at Aerial Yoga. Lia takes her daughter to see Dr. Kendra for her first OBGYN appointment. Later, Imani shares a shocking secret with Britten

Airs June 21, 2020.

? didn't we see this already ?

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(edited)

I usually like the the grandparents in these M2M/RHO* reality shows because they bring a realism that tends to be quite funny..

Imani's mom is different... kinda makes me nervous.. I guess she's too kool for school - cold like.. "concentric circles" , "your life is  a Neil diamond movie " , " emotionally unavailable", "your narrative has to be" ...  Is it b/c she never cared for Phil  - maybe still attached to the bio-father ?

Edited by sATL
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I don’t think “we just grew apart” is a valid reason for a divorce.  It sounds like a cop-out.  If you can grow apart, you can grow back together, even if it requires struggle and sacrifice.  If it still doesn’t work out after that and a couple decides to split, then it’s not because they’ve grown apart, it’s because they can’t make it work.  Same with saying, ”Yo, I want a divorce.”  I don’t think Imani is treating divorce with the gravitas it deserves.  Britten comparing her to Tina Turner is hardly apt.  Ike beat the shit out of Tina.  

I don’t agree with Imani’s mom that you need to take someone exactly as they are.  That’s good advice if you just met someone, but if you’re in a marriage, and your spouse is not holding up their end of the partnership, the least you can do is call it to their attention before you divorce them.  I feel like I’m living in a parallel universe here.  You can’t force someone to change, but you can effect change through your own actions, or at least you can try, especially with a kid involved.  Imani has shown no evidence that she or Phil have tried, and I think that’s really sad.

I don’t think Jazmin did anything wrong by quietly taking the cornbread from Kendra’s plate.  They’ve committed to this plan and Jazmin asked for it and Kendra allowed her to take it.  For Britten to scold Jazmin was wrong.  It’s none of her business.  People who are trying to lose 60 lbs don’t tend to lose them in a vacuum.  It was a little over the top for Jazmin to jump all over Lia for laughing.  It was kind of a funny situation.  

If Kendra decides she wants to drink Sangria and she doesn’t want to follow Jazmin’s plan anymore, the right thing to do is to tell her that she’s off the plan, and she is sorry she wasted Jazmin’s time and she is just going to do it her own way from now on.  

Britten thinks ho puns are appropriate for an eight year old?  What the hell?  

I don’t know why Hobart and Kendra never discuss hiring a nanny.  I assume they can afford it, and if they can, why not just throw money at the problem?  If they can’t afford a nanny, the law of comparative advantage says that the spouse with less earning power should stay home until the kid is old enough for school.  Hobart seemed to start in on the factors that were at play (albeit in a very condescending way) and instead of having that conversation, Kendra just said she wasn’t hungry and the scene ended.  

I feel like they actually tackle the issues that accompany marriage to medicine on the other franchise.  Jackie and Simone have both suffered a lot in their marriages, partially as a result of their careers, and they have never shied away from that.  This franchise just kind of dances around some of the problems without getting deep, and I find that a little boring.  Let’s hear an organic conversation, or an argument, between spouses, about real life hurdles.

I’ve said it before—Imani is insanely insecure.  Instead of just telling people she’s getting divorced, she invites them to her house to—let’s face it—promote her book.  I think she was so much more unsettled than she let on that they didn’t like her first look.  I tend to get the impression that there is no criticism of Imani in Imani’s world.  

This episode was probably the best one of the season, in that it was actually couples-focused, and the light (Shanique and Robert, Britten and Mack) was mixed with the heavy (Kendra and Hobart, Imani and Phil).  I still think it’s so awkward that they don’t seem to know what to do with Lia—this week she was apparently demoted to “Imani’s friend,” per they chyron, and I think Jazmin gets too much screen time for someone who won’t show her husband, but I’ll take what i can get.  At least it wasn’t mind-numbingly boring this week.

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(edited)

I felt like this was a visual test too.. the lines are my camera, sorry

Given this is LA I would think wardrobe stylists would be a dime a dozen

image.png.89d11386f51e486e8d87b96766851b81.png

Edited by sATL
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2 hours ago, sATL said:

I felt like this was a visual test too.. the lines are my camera, sorry

Given this is LA I would think wardrobe stylists would be a dime a dozen

image.png.89d11386f51e486e8d87b96766851b81.png

Well Dr. Imani's marriage situation went down hill fast. It's fascinating that she is deciding between these perfect portraits of herself for her book as her marriage is crumbling. Let's be real; her husband moving from L.A. to Bumblefuck to do music was shady to begin with, that neither of them has visited the other in several weeks even shadier. They were at least playful & friendly 2 episodes ago. Clearly, he has met someone. He left her. It's not rocket science when a couple chooses to spend this much time apart. It's shocking to me that she didn't roll up on him weeks ago to see what's goings on.

I may have ragged on Jazmin before, but I wasn't mad at her for trying to take that giant hunk of cornbread from Dr. Kendra. Dr. Kendra asked her for dietary advice! Don't ask me & get mad when I tell you. Jazmin is borderline eating disorder with her personal eating habits, but she hasn't proposed anything crazy for a person who wants to lose 60 pounds. Girl is ordering lambchops & drinking sangria--- she's not serious about losing weight. (Fatty meats are a no, clearly. Having a drink was fine, but she should have had something like a vodka soda.) Dr. Kendra's word seems wishy-washy in general. Not cool that she snuck the job interview & offer in on her husband. I respect her work ethic; that's a part of her character that got her through Med school. I don't get her trying to find a full-time position while her baby is so tiny & she doesn't need to do it financially. Babies grow so fast & there are priceless moments & milestones that you can't get back. I think the part-time work she is doing in an under-served neighborhood is very meaningful. It was an Aha! Moment when she had (???Can't remember her name) bring her 15 year old daughter in for a gyn appointment. The lady was a teenage mom herself due to lack of information. (The "just close your legs" mentality of sex education for young Black girls is still shockingly prevalent.) At this moment in history, when people of all races are marching in the streets all over the world 🙌🏾  & coming home to wonder what they can really do to change things.... I thought this was very poignant. 

Lil Man planned a nice birthday for his wife. I had some doubts when he said, "Why do I have to plan it?" 🙄 It's not my marriage; if she likes it, I love it. (Err... I don't love it. I couldn't be married to him. He may be a fine doctor, but I think he's an ass. All day, everyday.) I thought it was hella rude when the birthday girl said: "You've never been horse back riding before?" With a face. & admitted she was riding donkeys in Jamaica. Girl, Bye! How long has she been in the States? Because she has no accent.

I'm thrilled Britten arraigned some sexy time with her husband. I cheered out loud when she kicked the camera crew out! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾  Perfect! Now kick the kids out of the bed at home & they'll be straight.

Edited by NowVoyager
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11 hours ago, sATL said:

I usually like the the grandparents in these M2M/RHO* reality shows because they bring a realism that tends to be quite funny..

Imani's mom is different... kinda makes me nervous.. I guess she's too kool for school - cold like.. "concentric circles" , "your life is  a Neil diamond movie " , " emotionally unavailable", "your narrative has to be" ...  Is it b/c she never cared for Phil  - maybe still attached to the bio-father ?

I think Imani's mom reminds me of a lot of middle-class black women that I know that are around her age. They were raised that women behaved a certain way publicly - especially as a black woman who's behavior was always going to be policed by everyone. She's not going to have a conversation about "private" issues on camera, and the discussion she has with her daughter is going to be limited to what she would say in a room full of strangers - reality tv be damned. I bet dollars to donuts that whatever her negative thoughts about Phil may be, she's never going to voice them publicly - especially if Phil isn't a "bad" guy. Hell, she never says anything bad about Imani's dad on the show and he was an addict who abandoned the family. If y'all are waiting for her to show out like Mama Joyce, its never going to happen. 

11 hours ago, LibertarianSlut said:

I don’t think “we just grew apart” is a valid reason for a divorce.  It sounds like a cop-out.  If you can grow apart, you can grow back together, even if it requires struggle and sacrifice.  If it still doesn’t work out after that and a couple decides to split, then it’s not because they’ve grown apart, it’s because they can’t make it work.  Same with saying, ”Yo, I want a divorce.”  I don’t think Imani is treating divorce with the gravitas it deserves.  Britten comparing her to Tina Turner is hardly apt.  Ike beat the shit out of Tina.  

I don’t agree with Imani’s mom that you need to take someone exactly as they are.  That’s good advice if you just met someone, but if you’re in a marriage, and your spouse is not holding up their end of the partnership, the least you can do is call it to their attention before you divorce them.  I feel like I’m living in a parallel universe here.  You can’t force someone to change, but you can effect change through your own actions, or at least you can try, especially with a kid involved.  Imani has shown no evidence that she or Phil have tried, and I think that’s really sad.

I'm going to give Imani the benefit of the doubt. We don't know what the two of them have done to try to salvage their marriage. What is shown is a very small slice of their lives, and we're assuming that Imani didn't try, when its equally possible that Phil didn't want to share that portion of their relationship. I will also say that its difficult for someone that wasn't raised in a household where there was a successful marriage to understand how much work it take to keep two adults - who have the ability to make choices - together. As for the concept of taking someone as they are, I thought what her mom was trying to say was that fundamentally, trying to change your spouse - even for the better - is a losing proposition if that person does not want to change. Especially with the mother's experience with Imani's dad as someone who lived with addiction, I understand the concept of "there's nothing I can do to make that person want to stop doing what they are doing". 

 

9 hours ago, NowVoyager said:

I may have ragged on Jazmin before, but I wasn't mad at her for trying to take that giant hunk of cornbread from Dr. Kendra. Dr. Kendra asked her for dietary advice! Don't ask me & get mad when I tell you. Jazmin is borderline eating disorder with her personal eating habits, but she hasn't proposed anything crazy for a person who wants to lose 60 pounds. Girl is ordering lambchops & drinking sangria--- she's not serious about losing weight. (Fatty meats are a no, clearly. Having a drink was fine, but she should have had something like a vodka soda.)

I'm just gonna say that Jazmin was lucky. I don't care that I asked for your help, if you reach your hand out and touch a lick of food on my plate without  my express permission, we are going to fight. Asking for advice doesn't give you the right to engage in rude behavior. Remind me of my goals? Sure. Point out where I'm making bad choices? Absolutely. Touch my food??? We are gonna be rolling around on the ground. Period. 

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This was definitely one of the better episodes. 

Did not think Britten's ho references were cool at all. And why is she calling herself an equestrian when she clearly is not?

I was fine with Jazmin and the cornbread. That was a huge chunk and clearly Kendra needs her guidance. I could use her guidance to drop my quarantine pounds. But I also was okay with Kendra having a sangria--as long as she doesn't get carried away. She had a week. My guess is that she didn't tell her husband about the interview because he would have hassled her about it, which could affect her performance at the meeting. And I totally didn't like it when he told her at dinner that she was behaving erratically. I get the feeling that he can be a bit controlling and she shuts down because she doesn't want all of her business on TV.

And I'm also fine with her wanting to go back to work because being a stay-at-home mum is just not her thing. Hobart needs to get over it. She needs to pump some milk and keep it moving.

The first photos that Imani first showed was clearly a gag because she clearly knows that the second set was far superior. Of course the tacky birthday girl would like the crop top photo best. Imani has some deeply rooted insecurities because of her father and it shows in her choices in men. From the previews it seems like we're going to learn some things about her marriage that will lead us to concur that she should have divorced his ass a long time ago, and maybe shouldn't have married him in the first bloody place.

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2 hours ago, Rlb8031 said:

I'm just gonna say that Jazmin was lucky. I don't care that I asked for your help, if you reach your hand out and touch a lick of food on my plate without  my express permission, we are going to fight. Asking for advice doesn't give you the right to engage in rude behavior. Remind me of my goals? Sure. Point out where I'm making bad choices? Absolutely. Touch my food??? We are gonna be rolling around on the ground. Period. 

Note to self:  always ask before touching @Rlb8031 's food. No problem.

 

Edited by NowVoyager
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My vote on the cornbread have/have-not is once it was apparent that the meal for the evening was a served buffet, Jazmin should have walked after Kendra in the line, advising her as privately as possible , what are/are not good food choices.

Kendra is starting to remind me of some of the contestants on the Biggest Loser. Eating/Drinking the wrong product is only part of the problem. I think there are some emotional issues that she has to resolve and foodies are her security blanket. Secretly going on a job interview that is drastically a change from what one is doing now, with a 6 month old and its not financially necessary to work that type of position?  hmmmm. 

Edited by sATL
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59 minutes ago, sATL said:

My vote on the cornbread have/have-not is once it was apparent that the meal for the evening was a served buffet, Jazmin should have walked after Kendra in the line, advising her as privately as possible , what are/are not good food choices.

Kendra is starting to remind me of some of the contestants on the Biggest Loser. Eating/Drinking the wrong product is only part of the problem. I think there are some emotional issues that she has to resolve and foodies are her security blanket. Secretly going on a job interview that is drastically a change from what one is doing now, with a 6 month old and its not financially necessary to work that type of position?  hmmmm. 

Some women simply do not want to be stay-at-home moms and she clearly is one of them. And it's not as if she works in a frivolous industry. Maybe she'll be a better mother if she feels fulfilled professionally and stop stuffing her face with bad foods and sugary alcoholic beverages.

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24 minutes ago, politichick said:

Some women simply do not want to be stay-at-home moms and she clearly is one of them. And it's not as if she works in a frivolous industry. Maybe she'll be a better mother if she feels fulfilled professionally and stop stuffing her face with bad foods and sugary alcoholic beverages.

Yup...I mean, she doesn't need Jazmin or anyone to tell her she shouldn't have certain foods or drinks.  In this information age, everyone is keenly aware of these restrictive programs -- low carb, low fat, Paleo, Jazmin's air diet, etc--to be able to judge what they should and shouldn't eat.  If your heart and mind aren't into it, having someone constantly nag you (even when you asked for their help) or take food off your plate isn't going to work.  She might be eating her feelings...

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4 hours ago, Rlb8031 said:

I'm going to give Imani the benefit of the doubt. We don't know what the two of them have done to try to salvage their marriage. What is shown is a very small slice of their lives, and we're assuming that Imani didn't try, when its equally possible that Phil didn't want to share that portion of their relationship.

I always say that we have to be able to go off of the four corners of the episode, or watching and commenting is an exercise in futility.  I never said that Imani didn’t try for her marriage, I said there is no evidence of it of which I’m aware, and, in any case, saying “yo, I want a divorce,” is a really flippant and disrespectful way to treat an institution in which a child is involved.  Maybe Imani is a saint on earth and Phil was the worst husband ever.  There’s just no evidence of same.  

4 hours ago, Rlb8031 said:

As for the concept of taking someone as they are, I thought what her mom was trying to say was that fundamentally, trying to change your spouse - even for the better - is a losing proposition if that person does not want to change.

But there’s been no evidence presented that Phil doesn’t want to change.  A lot of people act out of pain in the hope that someone will notice their maladaptive behavior and set loving boundaries and limitations on what they will tolerate.  

I think Imani’s mom was emphatic—and the part that bothered me was how emphatic she was—that one should “take someone as they are.”  She didn’t mention anything that I recall about the futility of changing people who don’t want to change; she didn’t even get that far.  The way I took “take someone as they are” is not to have discussions, not to change your own behavior, not to to go therapy, just give up, and I think that’s a very sad, cynical view on relationships, and if Imani’s mom’s ex-husband was addicted to drugs and completely uninterested in changing, I’m sorry for her, but there are a lot of people who are not in that situation.  

I don’t think any of this marriage stuff is normal, although sadly, I find that it’s typical of today’s attitude.  I wonder how any marriages stay together if it is an acceptable societal reason to want a divorce (yo) because two people grew apart, and, let’s not attempt therapy or living in the same time zone before we call this thing, because that would violate the principle of taking someone for who they are.  It’s like this country has descended into a very flippant, self-indulgent phase, where marriages are disposable, hell, even kids are disposable, so long as the individual is “finding fulfillment.”  I find that attitude very immature and counterproductive.

If Imani is shy and demure—qualities I have never witnessed in her—and the reality show is somehow paralyzing her from asserting herself and standing up for her marriage, then she can and should get off of reality TV, like Asha, and make an effort to keep her family together.  

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3 minutes ago, LibertarianSlut said:

I always say that we have to be able to go off of the four corners of the episode, or watching and commenting is an exercise in futility.  I never said that Imani didn’t try for her marriage, I said there is no evidence of it of which I’m aware, and, in any case, saying “yo, I want a divorce,” is a really flippant and disrespectful way to treat an institution in which a child is involved.  Maybe Imani is a saint on earth and Phil was the worst husband ever.  There’s just no evidence of same.  

I understand what you are saying, but I think that in reality tv, its hard when so little is shown to set context. For example, in the ATL version of MTM, when Simone and Curtis announced their divorce, everyone - including their fellow cast members- was gobsmacked. If the people that are around you on the regular, seeing your interaction don't know that its that bad, how much do you have to show in order for those who get even more of a sliver to get that kind of context? While the four corners of the show may be all we as viewers have to work with, I just think its so hard for us to know what effort has or hasn't been made.

Full disclosure, I have a little more insight into Imani after listening to an interview with her on Dead Ass with Khadeen & Devale Ellis (podcast). They did a long interview with her on mental health and she talked a lot about background, why she became a doctor, her own struggles with anxiety and depression and how she's impacted by growing up in a family that had a history of mental illness as well as people who became addicted to drugs. I think that she is in some ways so much more interesting than her "character" who's limited to being typecast as somewhat ghetto and aggressive, I also wonder how someone who is as laid back as Phil seemed to come across last year, dealt with a woman who not only has a big personality but seemingly approaches life with more of a clinical perspective.

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8 hours ago, Rlb8031 said:

I think Imani's mom reminds me of a lot of middle-class black women that I know that are around her age. They were raised that women behaved a certain way publicly - especially as a black woman who's behavior was always going to be policed by everyone. She's not going to have a conversation about "private" issues on camera, and the discussion she has with her daughter is going to be limited to what she would say in a room full of strangers - reality tv be damned. I bet dollars to donuts that whatever her negative thoughts about Phil may be, she's never going to voice them publicly - especially if Phil isn't a "bad" guy. Hell, she never says anything bad about Imani's dad on the show and he was an addict who abandoned the family. If y'all are waiting for her to show out like Mama Joyce, its never going to happen

She doesn't have to act like Mama Joyce and the rest of the OLG, but the cold , stoic and talking like she doesn't know / love the person isn't necessary. That's too far on the other end of the spectrum. I wanted to give Imani a hug, let her cry it out. Did she even say something like "It will be ok" ?

Brittan showed more empathy and sympathy, yet still kept her cool and composure. I'm pretty sure Brittan can cut up and act a fool and/or organize an ass-kicking posse on a dropped dime's notice.

 I hadn't heard someone say "concentric circles" outside of a geometry /statistics class.

I wonder does momma know the episode when they were on vacation and Phil wanted to watch a game and asked if Imani wanted to be put in a taxi. I sure would like to hear Phil's side of that story.

Edited by sATL
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On 5/26/2020 at 5:46 PM, LibertarianSlut said:

Right now, to me, Asha isn’t the woman who put her problems on reality TV, she is the woman who was courageous enough to walk away.  For what it’s worth. 

But if they all walked away, we'd have nothing to watch.

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