Paradise Hotel (US) - General Discussion

[RealReality]

Thirst bucket Brittney trying so hard to be Tatum's friend.  Girl...stop!

Shady announcer!  Also, how romantic is Bobby Rae "well I think that solidifies us as the strongest couple in the house!". You talking game right after sex?  Poor form!  Also, hasn't everyone had sex with everyone in that house, they have paradise hotel brand condoms!

I generally don't care for Kendall, but I know I'd take one home as a souvenir too!

Edited June 1, 2019 by RealReality

[RealReality]

Did Tyler tell shaliee where he was going?  Was she under the impression he just went to the store for some milk and never came back?

[RealReality]

Note to producers: if you want to save money next time you bring this show back, put a blonde wig on a skeleton and have it host the show "weekend at Bernie" style

It couldn't be any worse and it might be an improvement

Edited June 1, 2019 by RealReality

[ketose]

I don't care what anyone thinks, I love Brittany. I also think the keys were hidden deeper in some popsicles than others.

Tatum and Bobby Ray are just trash. They had sex on a dare? Then Tatum peddles her ass over to Steroids.

David and Kendall are a perfect example of why these shows don't work. They made a connection and the audience either doesn't remember them or doesn't want them on their screen.

Don't count on the former guests taking revenge. On Survivor, the schemers almost always won.

[RealReality]

13 minutes ago, ketose said:

I don't care what anyone thinks, I love Brittany. I also think the keys were hidden deeper in some popsicles than others.

Tatum and Bobby Ray are just trash. They had sex on a dare? Then Tatum peddles her ass over to Steroids.

David and Kendall are a perfect example of why these shows don't work. They made a connection and the audience either doesn't remember them or doesn't want them on their screen.

Don't count on the former guests taking revenge. On Survivor, the schemers almost always won.

Ha ha, I can't stand Brittney, but it takes all types to make the world go round!

I think the relationship is more incidental to me on the dating shows I like.  I'm not particularly entertained by young attractive people falling in love on an extended vacation.  Jane Austen does a much better job at telling a romantic tale.

I think that someone must be drawn to the David/Kendall connections, or else I guess they would stop casting even a few relatively sane people.

[OnceSane]

2 hours ago, RealReality said:

s "papi suazon" some sort of brand Carlos is starting?  I'm five minutes into the show and he has said it like 7 times ..or maybe once.. either way, what gives?

He says it 50-11 times an episode.  And every time is irritating.

[RealReality]

18 hours ago, mertensia said:

I finally figured out who Brittany looks like to me (and bear in mind that I'm somewhat faceblind): season 3 of America's Next Top Model Nicole Borud.

Brittany is not at all the suspicious type. How she can blindly believe weaselly Tatum is beyond me.

Jared has less conversational skills than the Bachelor's Colton. If I hadn't see it, I wouldn't believe it.

I wonder if he is a production plant.  At first I only saw that he didn't talk and he kinda had dead eyes, and I was a little scared because do they REALLY do a background check?

But he forgot Britney's name while he was talking to her! 

Then he guessed about the game (kinda) and he won the game and then he ended up booted out and he didn't care at all, and now he has the power to get a couple out that production might want gone.

[RealReality]

2 minutes ago, OnceSane said:

He says it 50-11 times an episode.  And every time is irritating.

He is working so hard to make it happen and I don't know why. 🤷

[HorrrGoodnight]

On 5/30/2019 at 12:59 AM, RealReality said:

I'd say there is like a 55% chance Rosanna stalks Tyler after the show.  If for no other reason than she can get more attention by being the subject of a dateline hosted by Keith Morrison.

Keith Morrison FTW! 😂

[JenE4]

7 hours ago, SlutAssBitchAssHor said:

Keith Morrison FTW! 😂

I would totally watch a show that was nothing but transitional and contextual voiceovers from Keith Morrison and the British announcer from this show. Could you imagine these two in a conversation? Keith sets up some intrigue with squeaky drawl, and British bloke comes in with a zinger of a punchline.

Edited June 1, 2019 by JenE4

[Ms Blue Jay]

On 5/29/2019 at 3:57 PM, JenE4 said:

Oh, man! I just caught up on this show to find out it’s canceled?!? 

It's a damn travesty.

On 5/31/2019 at 12:35 AM, Wandering Snark said:

And again WHO and WHY would trust Carlos???

Even forgetting the trust, he is just so damn ugly!  ☹️

How is he getting this much play? These women aren't exactly Mensa candidates, but I think they deserve way better than this gnome, even just for strategy purposes.

Tatum, who hurt you?

I'm really worried / upset that my PVR cut off the last part of the episode.  Was it just abruptly done after 2 hours, or was there more than that?  Because I looked up and suddenly my PVR tape was over!

Edited June 1, 2019 by Ms Blue Jay

[RealReality]

43 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

It's a damn travesty.

Even forgetting the trust, he is just so damn ugly!  ☹️

How is he getting this much play? These women aren't exactly Mensa candidates, but I think they deserve way better than this gnome, even just for strategy purposes.

Tatum, who hurt you?

I'm really worried / upset that my PVR cut off the last part of the episode.  Was it just abruptly done after 2 hours, or was there more than that?  Because I looked up and suddenly my PVR tape was over!

It should have ended on a pretty interesting cliffhanger, but I don't want to spoil the ending if you didn't get to it.

[Ms Blue Jay]

1 hour ago, RealReality said:

It should have ended on a pretty interesting cliffhanger, but I don't want to spoil the ending if you didn't get to it.

Thank you sooooo much.  OMG.  i went to find another airing of the show.

My tape missed soooooo much!

Either my PVR cut off 30 min before the episode was over, or I pressed "stop" on my remote by mistake and didn't realize (not unheard of for me).  I'm glad I got to see the rest!

Edited June 1, 2019 by Ms Blue Jay

[HorrrGoodnight]

It was bittersweet when Carlos stood behind whatshername instead of Tatum. I loved the look on her smug twinkies-for-lips face when he didn't come over to her but then again Carlos and Tatum totally deserve each other. Hors of a feather.

[RealReality]

2 hours ago, SlutAssBitchAssHor said:

It was bittersweet when Carlos stood behind whatshername instead of Tatum. I loved the look on her smug twinkies-for-lips face when he didn't come over to her but then again Carlos and Tatum totally deserve each other. Hors of a feather.

I love that her game strategy is "slut".  She is so proud of it too!  Like she is the first person to ever think of using sex strategically.    

Also, you're doing slut all wrong if it's only landing you the leprechaun of paradise hotel.  Aim higher girl!

Dead @ Twinkie for lips! 🤣.

It's comments like this that make me so sad that they are pulling the plug on this show.

Edited June 1, 2019 by RealReality

[RealReality]

2 hours ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Thank you sooooo much.  OMG.  i went to find another airing of the show.

My tape missed soooooo much!

Either my PVR cut off 30 min before the episode was over, or I pressed "stop" on my remote by mistake and didn't realize (not unheard of for me).  I'm glad I got to see the rest!

Oh, I'm so glad you saw that end, because I thought it was some juicy drama to let this guy who gives no fucks about anyone pick a couple to leave.

I know I'm grimey but I want him to pick David and Kendall because they are nice, but boring.

[ketose]

I've been watching it on Hulu, and they don't even seem to air ads with it. Fox is burning off this failed experiment.

I'm hoping Brittany and Tyler won't be kicked off, if only because it would make Tatum's "strategy" the one that worked.

There's no real way to fix this show, but if "finding love" is part of it, they should have a challenge where the couples have to give up part of the 250K to stay together.

[RealReality]

3 hours ago, ketose said:

I've been watching it on Hulu, and they don't even seem to air ads with it. Fox is burning off this failed experiment.

I'm hoping Brittany and Tyler won't be kicked off, if only because it would make Tatum's "strategy" the one that worked.

There's no real way to fix this show, but if "finding love" is part of it, they should have a challenge where the couples have to give up part of the 250K to stay together.

I'm actually wondering what the parameters are to win the 250k.  It has to have something to do with "connection" because everyone on that show uses that word all the time, even when they are clearly game playing. 

Like Rosanna was apparently told Carlos she had a "connection" with him when she was lobbying to stay. 

Tatum kept talking about having a "connection" with Carlos, but every other word out of her Twinkie lips (tm @SlutAssBitchAssHor) was about strategy and game.

brittney and jair kept saying the word "connection" but it's clear they didn't have one.

So I'm interested to see how the game is won, and what part the word "connection" plays.

i kinda think Jared was some sort of production plant.  It just seemed too perfect that he kinda guessed the game, won the game, didn't even really try to care about anyone, only talked strategy and now has like the most power in the game. 

He was so different than any of there other guys who joined, who all at least tried to connect with people on a personal level.  It's true that the girls could have picked Kirk, or the guy who drank straight from the bottle....but it's possible that producers "suggested" that they pick jared and Twinkie lips (tm @SlutAssBitchAssHor) saw the golden opportunity for more camera time.

the producers set up the game, so they could have made Brittney and Jared's popsicle a little less Frozen or hidden the key closer to the surface to encourage a win.

but, if he was a plant, he was the only one.  

[RealReality]

On 5/31/2019 at 2:16 PM, kita said:

I would watch this show just for the narrator. "We can't show you what Tatum and Bobby Ray are doing...FOR THE NEXT 30 SECONDS, WOMP WOMP."
And Kaitlin coming in as the dark horse pot stirrer, atta girl! You can tell that Brittany still has the low self-esteem from being overweight, she just let herself get pushed around here. And man, is her flirt game ever weakkkkkk.
Host's earrings were... oversized plastic paperclip chains?
At least Brittany cares about new guy enough to warn him about his face! No one does that for poor Tyler, who is looking as lobster faced as ever. I'm so confused about how his and Shailee's storyline is supposed to make sense. Oh well.

Addendum: WHY WILL NO ONE GET CARLOS OFF MY TV? None of these people love me!

I think it's like beetle juice, you have to say "papi suazon" like three times and he disappears.

I agree about Brittney and her self esteem.  But at some point you just have to embrace that you aren't going to be in the popular girl clique and keep it moving.  LOL at her proclaiming that she wasn't going to be played anymore....and then hanging out with Tatum and being mad that Jared hasn't like fallen in love with her.

LOL @ Tyler the lobster.  

I, too, have no idea how he is supposed to win the game.  How does someone win this?  If you are saying that you basically have no intention of making a....lust connection (?) how do you win?  Have they explained the rules?

[OnceSane]

On 6/1/2019 at 1:11 PM, RealReality said:

I know I'm grimey but I want him to pick David and Kendall because they are nice, but boring.

I want him to pick Tatum & Bobby…just for the meltdown.

[Ms Blue Jay]

Here to watch the finale with you guys.  Sad the show is ending.

[Ms Blue Jay]

Bobby about Tatum:  "TWICE she has gone behind my back to kiss guys that I have specifically told her NOT to!"

I am paraphrasing but come on it's really funny  😂

[Ohwell]

I chuckle at how these reality show guys get jacked up bodies for the show.  The women seem to get boob jobs and/or lip fillers.  Although kudos to Brittany for obviously not getting the boob job.

[Ms Blue Jay]

Tatum is so ugly.  I can't deal. 

[Ms Blue Jay]

Kristin didn't even ask 

Spoiler

Jair

Why he made the decision that he made.  That was so funny and mean!

[swankie]

Spoiler

YAAAYYYYY!!!  BOBBY!!!  So damned glad Tatum didn't win diddly squat!!!  Ha ha ha ha!!!  Great play Bobby!!!  Yaaaaaasssss!!!  🤣💪🤣

Edited June 7, 2019 by swankie
Didn't want to spoil the outcome for those that haven't seen it yet.

[RealReality]

1 minute ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Kristin didn't even ask 

  Hide contents

Jair

Why he made the decision that he made.  That was so funny and mean!

Damn it, this show won't be on Hulu until tomorrow.  I can't handle this suspense!  Who else is Twinkie lips kissing with Bobby Rae's permission?

[Ms Blue Jay]

20 minutes ago, RealReality said:

Damn it, this show won't be on Hulu until tomorrow.  I can't handle this suspense!  Who else is Twinkie lips kissing with Bobby Rae's permission?

I think he just meant Carlos twice?  He just phrased it really weirdly.  It was confusing.

Edited June 7, 2019 by Ms Blue Jay

[RealReality]

7 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Wow, spoiled already.  

I think he just meant Carlos twice?  He just phrased it really weirdly.  It was confusing.

Wrong, she only kissed Carlos once and then she kissed papi suazon.

A distinction with a difference for sure.

For example.....Carlos likes getting his eyebrows waxed......papi suazon likes getting his eyebrows tweezed.

Carlos likes super tight shorts....papi suazon likes to wear super tight jeggings.

Carlos shaves his chest...papi suazon uses Nair.

Edited June 7, 2019 by RealReality

[ketose]

This show is dumb as hell and I feel diminished having watched it.

At least I get to laugh at Tatum.

[swankie]

6 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Wow, spoiled already.

Sorry.  The show was over. I thought we were allowed to talk about it once it aired.  I put a spoiler on it once I realized everyone hadn't seen it yet.  You spoiled my spoiler.  

[Ms Blue Jay]

What IS Suazon?  Is it his last name? Is it a Spanish word I don't know?  And how do you pronounce it????

[RealReality]

1 minute ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

What IS Suazon?  Is it his last name? Is it a Spanish word I don't know?  And how do you pronounce it????

I can honestly say that I have absolutely no idea.  

I took exception to Bobby Rae referring to himself in the third person, but at least he used his name.

[Ohwell]

Wow.  This show is so stupid so I didn't know what to expect, but certainly not that ending.  I'm happy that Tatum got screwed.

[ketose]

Everything you never needed to know.

https://www.instagram.com/papisazon_official/

[Ms Blue Jay]

Lol, ew!

[leocadia]

I just knew there was no way  (based on the editing) that they were giving Tatum or Carlos any cash.  The mere fact that they both ended up at the end seemed like producer manipulation.  I have no love for Bobby Ray, but still clapped when he dropped the ball.

[swankie]

3 hours ago, leocadia said:

I just knew there was no way  (based on the editing) that they were giving Tatum or Carlos any cash.  The mere fact that they both ended up at the end seemed like producer manipulation.  I have no love for Bobby Ray, but still clapped when he dropped the ball.

I agree about the producer manipulation.  That's why they didn't bring Deion Sander's daughter back.  They knew she would have voted Carlos out on the first jury vote.  Hell, she was the first one kicked out.  She should have had a chance to get even with Carlos.  

Edited June 7, 2019 by swankie
Wrong word used.

[Wandering Snark]

It sure seemed like there was going to be a thing where the jury could vote in the end for a single person they felt most deserving as it was clearly two idiots & two manipulative cheater scumbags... heh. But the way it ended (well if you could dvr past the 1 minute intervals) I guess was fitting. I think Bobby played 'the game' well in the final days to make Tatum want to 'make it up' to him and that played right into the final "twist" (that any P-Ho fan knew was coming) so I'll give it to him for finally sticking it to Tatum and her getting what she deserved. I feel Bobby was 'right' in deciding but I'm still not sure I think he deserved it...

Now I reallllly have to go pee so I'll post more later.

[JenE4]

This would have been a good ending if we didn’t already see this on Bachelor Pad (early version of Bachelor in Paradise)—which I thought was one of the greatest reality TV moments. I’m glad Bobby “stuck it to” Tatum, but I’m not a fan of Bobby’s, either. Then again, I really don’t know who on this show is “deserving” of the money...besides maybe the British announcer dude.

But I did love how everyone cheered and hugged Bobby and not a single person showed the slightest amount of empathy or attention to Tatum, and she sulked off all alone crying.

And Jair needing to pee—but not just getting up to use the restroom—during David and Kendall’s goodbye moment was gold! Jair! Just go pee! 

Edited June 7, 2019 by JenE4

[JenE4]

9 hours ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

What IS Suazon?  Is it his last name? Is it a Spanish word I don't know?  And how do you pronounce it????

Goya has a Sazon seasoning. I assumed that’s what he’s calling himself, Daddy Spice, because he’s a hot tamale.*

*In his own estimation 

Edited June 7, 2019 by JenE4

[LakeGal]

I never cared for Bobby Ray.  But I cheered when he dropped the gold ball.  I disliked Tatum that much.

[Irritable]

Meeeee toooooo!!!!! It was poetic as hell. And while I never really liked him, he never actually did anything shitty the whole time.  He was loyal to both of his roommates and dumb enough to believe they would be loyal to him, too.  I didn’t know it until it happened, but I think this is the only result I could have been really happy about, so yay I guess!

[JenE4]

1 hour ago, Irritable said:

Meeeee toooooo!!!!! It was poetic as hell. And while I never really liked him, he never actually did anything shitty the whole time.  He was loyal to both of his roommates and dumb enough to believe they would be loyal to him, too.  I didn’t know it until it happened, but I think this is the only result I could have been really happy about, so yay I guess!

You make a good point. He went along with the “evil masterminds” Tatum, Carlos, and Roseanna, but I can’t recall him actively doing anything underhanded to anyone like the three of them. Ok, in that case, I’ve come around. Yay for Bobby Ray!

[HorrrGoodnight]

Is it a Millennial thing where you have an emotional breakdown bc someone has to pee at an inopportune moment?

[Loves2Dance]

4 hours ago, SlutAssBitchAssHor said:

Is it a Millennial thing where you have an emotional breakdown bc someone has to pee at an inopportune moment?

I speak on behalf of all Millennials---no! 

Also, Millennials, at our youngest, are 23 years old---a portion of the cast of PH would be considered Generation Z. 

They have more issues with bathroom breaks. 

Edited June 7, 2019 by Loves2Dance

[kita]

Mid-watch: my bf walked through the room and asked who was going to win.

"I hope it's not the blonde girl because I'll never watch this show again."

He asked, "Is she the one with the goofy face?"

That's the only thing he remembered from glancing over occasionally during the first episode, was that Tatum had a goofy face! 😂😂😂

[kita]

Alright, now I finished it. GUYS.

I thought I was going to be PISSED but Bobby got the last laugh and I'm okay with it. Good thing he took $200, I don't think they'd have the extra $50 to give him since they had to cut the season so short with ze ratings.

I am satisfied, just wish it had been as long as initially projected.

Edited June 8, 2019 by kita
Overly cautious on my spoiler tagging

[Ohwell]

...

Edited June 8, 2019 by Ohwell
No need for the post now

[RealReality]

I'm not even halfway through this!

1. Brittney is thirsty to the end.  Girl, Tatum is not your friend, please stop crying over her and saying you love her.  I get second hand cringey for you.

2. LOL @ Tatum feeling the need to be open and honest like two and a half seconds before Kaitlin tells her shit

3. Good on Bobby for not buying Tatum's alternative facts

4. How early does Tatum have to get up to put on a full face of makeup on before bobby Rae is even awake?

5. Go away papi suazon!  Kendall could have picked a better place to have a heart to heart, but damn dude, aren't you embarrassed?  Go away!  Why is Kendall continuing when he is weirdly sitting in the corner?