Bethenny & Jason: The Divorce Showdown

[Ellee]

Oh, how I wish time was on my side.  Lol, I'd be spending it all here.  :D

 

For some reason, I thought it was B that brought up Jason quitting his job and working solely for SG and Jason was the one that was hesitant to do that.  (Granted, no one knows the truth about anything HWs related because Bravo and related parties have done their best to redefine the meaning of the word 'truth'.) 

 

I've leaned toward Jason being 'the better of the two' in this mess for lack of better terminology.  It's not based on anything factual.  From what I've read, Jason doesn't talk about anything divorce related (or anything for that matter).   He doesn't appear to go out of his way to have his picture in the papers.  The few pictures now with little Bryn all show her smiling.  Unfortunately, rarely does Bryn smile when she is with B.  I've said this before and it is still not fair to say that about the smiling pictures.  Timing is everything with children.   I realize that.  I just think that B feels her life needs to be perfect and that wherever she is in the moment, she feels that she should be somewhere else, doing something else. 

 

The only thing I think I know for sure ( :D) is that Bravo is the one place she shouldn't be.

[Celia Rubenstein]

I didn't say Beth lied.  The bottom line, what does it matter?  It doesn't make an ounce of difference in the outcome.  That's not anywhere near sufficient evidence that someone in their underwear in their own home is not deserving of having shared custody of their child.  Her arguments, once again, were ridiculous.

 

 

But Jason did not lose anything, he did not settle, he got what he asked for, Joint/Shared Custody. Bethenny on the other hand did settle, she did not get what she wanted, Primary Custody, she settled for what Jason wanted, Joint/Shared Custody!

 

 

I think some people here are using terms that they don't quite understand.

 

There are two aspects to custody ... physical custody, which has to do with where the child spends time; and legal custody, which deals with who makes decisions regarding the child's education, religion, and medical care. 

 

My understanding is that Bethenny wanted sole LEGAL custody.  People are focussing on the word "sole" and taking it to mean she wanted sole physical custody, intending to totally cut Jason out of Bryn's life. But that was never the case.

 

It was almost a given that physical custody was going to be split 50-50.  That is just the way it is with a child Bryn's age unless there is some reason one parent should have less time with the child.  But nothing in Bethenny's testimony seems meant to demonstrate this about Jason.  She never tried to claim he was an unfit parent in any way, which is what she would have to show in order to limit his physical custody.  Instead she just testified about what a jerk in general he was, and this is causing people to see her as ridiculous or just out to trash Jason because the things she said bear no relation to his parenting abilities. 

 

But I believe the people finding her testimony to be "petty" or "ridiculous" or just meant to hurt Jason are missing the point.  Her testimony was never intended to show Jason was a bad father undeserving of equal time with his daughter.

 

The things Bethenny testified to were (I believe) more likely meant to show that Jason is a petty, spiteful, childish person who is devoted to trying to annoy and embarrass his wife.  And the kind of things she mentioned are actually relevant in terms of showing that joint legal custody would not work between the two of them: they don't get along, Jason is bitter and resentful and he goes out of his way to screw with her, thus only one of them can have legal control because they will never be able to make decisions together.  Bethenny's testimony did a fairly good job of demonstrating this.  The hot dog thing, for example.  Some people consider it the stupidest thing in the world and hardly proof Jason would not be a good father.  But it wasn't meant to show Jason would not be a good father. It was meant to show they can't even come to an agreement about their daughter's basic diet ... it was evidence the judge needs to award sole LEGAL custody to one person over the other. 

 

That brings us to the issue of why Bethenny and Jason settled their case once she was done testifying.  Why did she agree to sharing legal custody with Jason?

 

Some people seem to see Jason as "winning" because "Bethenny settled" which must mean (a) she felt like she was going to lose and ran to Jason offering to give him everything he wanted, or (b) that she had simply accomplished her goal, which was to trash Jason in the press without having to be cross-examined and she was just done.  But I don't think it is anything as dramatic or nefarious as that, rather it was more of an Occam's razor simplest answer type thing. 

 

I think they just made a deal.  

 

Bethenny might very well have agreed to drop her attempt to gain sole legal custody in exchange for some fairly small but personally meaningful concessions regarding physical custody, something as simple as she gets Bryn for the holiday dates she prefers (and yes, custody order are often that specific, especially when the parties can't get along at all).  

 

I think after listening to Bethenny's testimony, Jason might have been worried about losing legal custody completely and was more amenable to compromising on certain physical custody issues in order to make that threat go away.  I realize how petty many of the things Bethenny said about Jason seem to many people, but the fact of the matter is if they went all the way through a trial, the court would make a decision and Jason knew that.  And as petty as the evidence may seem, if it is all the court had to go on, that is what will determine things.   And it is an "either-or" proposition, essentially.  One side wins and one side loses.  Joint legal custody is virtually never ordered after the parties go through an entire trial.  The likelihood of the parties ending up right back in front of the judge is too high, so the court makes the call and that is essentially that. 

 

The threat of totally losing any legal say so about Bryn's future may have suddenly appeared a very real possibility to Jason, so if to avoid that risk he had to sacrifice a couple of Thanksgivings in Hazelton or agree to let Bethenny take Bryn to St. Barth's for two weeks at Christmas, it might have been worth it to him.  Whether he approached her or she approached him is unknown and for the most part irrelevant in determining who "won."  That is the idea of a compromise, after all, isn't it?  Both sides win a little and both sides lose a little ... ?  I think that is all that happened here.  No Bethenny sticking pins in her Jason voodoo doll, no Jason doing a victory dance in his underwear..  Just a mututally beneficial compromise. 

[breezy424]

I think some people here are using terms that they don't quite understand.

 

There are two aspects to custody ... physical custody, which has to do with where the child spends time; and legal custody, which deals with who makes decisions regarding the child's education, religion, and medical care. 

 

My understanding is that Bethenny wanted sole LEGAL custody.  People are focussing on the word "sole" and taking it to mean she wanted sole physical custody, intending to totally cut Jason out of Bryn's life. But that was never the case.

 

It was almost a given that physical custody was going to be split 50-50.  That is just the way it is with a child Bryn's age unless there is some reason one parent should have less time with the child.  But nothing in Bethenny's testimony seems meant to demonstrate this about Jason.  She never tried to claim he was an unfit parent in any way, which is what she would have to show in order to limit his physical custody.  Instead she just testified about what a jerk in general he was, and this is causing people to see her as ridiculous or just out to trash Jason because the things she said bear no relation to his parenting abilities. 

 

But I believe the people finding her testimony to be "petty" or "ridiculous" or just meant to hurt Jason are missing the point.  Her testimony was never intended to show Jason was a bad father undeserving of equal time with his daughter.

 

The things Bethenny testified to were (I believe) more likely meant to show that Jason is a petty, spiteful, childish person who is devoted to trying to annoy and embarrass his wife.  And the kind of things she mentioned are actually relevant in terms of showing that joint legal custody would not work between the two of them: they don't get along, Jason is bitter and resentful and he goes out of his way to screw with her, thus only one of them can have legal control because they will never be able to make decisions together.  Bethenny's testimony did a fairly good job of demonstrating this.  The hot dog thing, for example.  Some people consider it the stupidest thing in the world and hardly proof Jason would not be a good father.  But it wasn't meant to show Jason would not be a good father. It was meant to show they can't even come to an agreement about their daughter's basic diet ... it was evidence the judge needs to award sole LEGAL custody to one person over the other. 

 

That brings us to the issue of why Bethenny and Jason settled their case once she was done testifying.  Why did she agree to sharing legal custody with Jason?

 

Some people seem to see Jason as "winning" because "Bethenny settled" which must mean (a) she felt like she was going to lose and ran to Jason offering to give him everything he wanted, or (b) that she had simply accomplished her goal, which was to trash Jason in the press without having to be cross-examined and she was just done.  But I don't think it is anything as dramatic or nefarious as that, rather it was more of an Occam's razor simplest answer type thing. 

 

I think they just made a deal.  

 

Bethenny might very well have agreed to drop her attempt to gain sole legal custody in exchange for some fairly small but personally meaningful concessions regarding physical custody, something as simple as she gets Bryn for the holiday dates she prefers (and yes, custody order are often that specific, especially when the parties can't get along at all).  

 

I think after listening to Bethenny's testimony, Jason might have been worried about losing legal custody completely and was more amenable to compromising on certain physical custody issues in order to make that threat go away.  I realize how petty many of the things Bethenny said about Jason seem to many people, but the fact of the matter is if they went all the way through a trial, the court would make a decision and Jason knew that.  And as petty as the evidence may seem, if it is all the court had to go on, that is what will determine things.   And it is an "either-or" proposition, essentially.  One side wins and one side loses.  Joint legal custody is virtually never ordered after the parties go through an entire trial.  The likelihood of the parties ending up right back in front of the judge is too high, so the court makes the call and that is essentially that. 

 

The threat of totally losing any legal say so about Bryn's future may have suddenly appeared a very real possibility to Jason, so if to avoid that risk he had to sacrifice a couple of Thanksgivings in Hazelton or agree to let Bethenny take Bryn to St. Barth's for two weeks at Christmas, it might have been worth it to him.  Whether he approached her or she approached him is unknown and for the most part irrelevant in determining who "won."  That is the idea of a compromise, after all, isn't it?  Both sides win a little and both sides lose a little ... ?  I think that is all that happened here.  No Bethenny sticking pins in her Jason voodoo doll, no Jason doing a victory dance in his underwear..  Just a mututally beneficial compromise. 

Given what was testified, I don't think Jason's attorneys were too concerned about him losing any legal say about his daughter.  Plus, there was no cross examination of Beth yet or testimony from Jason and his parents who were there to testify.  Guess we just see it differently. 

 

Add to that, Jason's lawyer's statement after the settlement:

 

Jason’s attorney, Bernard Clair, confirms the news to Life & Style in a statement:

“My client is delighted that this custody dispute has been resolved; that his co-parenting status has been acknowledged; that the parties’ child will have the benefit of being raised by both parents; and most importantly, that his daughter will no longer be at the mercy of a high profile courtroom battle.”

He continues, “Jason wishes Bethenny only the best of luck, and he looks forward to sharing with her all of the joyous occasions, milestones, and blessings that will be coming up in his daughter’s future.”

As for the specific terms of the settlement, Clair says that will remain confidential.

 

Beth nor her lawyers had any statement after the settlement.

[Celia Rubenstein]

Given what was testified, I don't think Jason's attorneys were too concerned about him losing any legal say about his daughter. 

 

Well, someone was going to lose their legal say about their daughter.  Jason stood at least a 50% chance of it being him right off the bat before Bethenny ever took the stand.  If his lawyers weren't concerned, then they weren't doing their job.

 

Add to that, Jason's lawyer's statement after the settlement:

 

Jason’s attorney, Bernard Clair, confirms the news to Life & Style in a statement:

 

“My client is delighted that this custody dispute has been resolved; that his co-parenting status has been acknowledged; that the parties’ child will have the benefit of being raised by both parents; and most importantly, that his daughter will no longer be at the mercy of a high profile courtroom battle.”

He continues, “Jason wishes Bethenny only the best of luck, and he looks forward to sharing with her all of the joyous occasions, milestones, and blessings that will be coming up in his daughter’s future.”

 

As for the specific terms of the settlement, Clair says that will remain confidential.

 

Beth nor her lawyers had any statement after the settlement.

 

I'm not sure what you believe the lawyer's completely generic statement reveals, aside from the fact that it flies in the face of the idea that Jason is a saint who never says anything to the press. 

 

I don't read it as a commentary on the nature of the settlement they reached at all.  It was complete PR/boilerplate language imo.

Edited June 15, 2015 by Celia Rubenstein

[breezy424]

Well, someone was going to lose their legal say about their daughter.  Jason stood at least a 50% chance of it being him right off the bat before Bethenny ever took the stand.  If his lawyers weren't concerned, then they weren't doing their job.

 

 

I'm not sure what you believe the lawyer's completely generic statement reveals, aside from the fact that it flies in the face of the idea that Jason is a saint who never says anything to the press. 

 

I don't read it as a commentary on the nature of the settlement they reached at all.  It was complete PR/boilerplate language imo.

I didn't state they weren't concerned.  I stated they weren't too concerned.  I also don't think that the attorney statement was completely generic - his coparenting status has been established.  He will share in everything with his daughter.

 

I think this is the only statement that Jason's attorneys have ever given to the press.  I don't believe Jason himself has ever said anything about his divorce or custody nor has he ever said anything about Beth.  Can't say the same about Beth.

[Celia Rubenstein]

I didn't state they weren't concerned.  I stated they weren't too concerned. 

 

Is there a difference? The one statement sounds like the other to me, lol. 

 

 

I also don't think that the attorney statement was completely generic - his coparenting status has been established.  He will share in everything with his daughter.

 

It was hardly a victory cry from Jason's team.  Totally store-brand vanilla imo ... no details, no real information.  Since the settlement was confidential, that was all he was allowed to say, so I am not surprised. 

 

 

I think this is the only statement that Jason's attorneys have ever given to the press.  I don't believe Jason himself has ever said anything about his divorce or custody nor has he ever said anything about Beth.  Can't say the same about Beth.

 

I have read a ton of anti-Bethenny things that were obviously leaked by Jason's side. Or maybe they were all actually items planted by Bethenny herself, in order to frame Jason for trashing her and make him look bad, lol.  That's the ticket! 

[missy jo]

I don't believe Jason himself has ever said anything about his divorce or custody nor has he ever said anything about Beth.  Can't say the same about Beth.

 

 

The difference in their behavior in the aftermath, and who has trash talked and who hasn't, speaks volumes about Jason's character versus Bethenny's, IMO. I hope *he's* in therapy to recover from the time he spent dealing with this woman. And will have to deal with her forever - if he married for money (which I don't believe for a second), then he sure earned every damn penny.

Edited June 15, 2015 by missy jo

[missy jo]

Amen! *toasts with SG drink*

 

 

Um, can I just have vodka with three olives? ;)

[Crikey]

This is the comment you responded to:

 

"I remember watching Jason coldly wait for Bethanny to melt down in tears after continuously referring to her as 'damaged'. And this is when they were at the 'good' phase of their marriage. When she was looking to him for any bit of praise, compliment anything, and he would refuse, I wanted to reach through and slap him. That's when I realized he probably never even loved her, or as he said "she's too damaged to be loved".  What a creep."

 

You replied with a statement indicating confirmation  ("So she IS covered in buttons"), but that statement proves nothing re: buttons, imo, as the majority of sane & emotionally stable married/committed women would feel devastated if their partners said that to them. Bethenny hoping for praise from her husband and being handed that shit  instead is not proof her of her having multiple buttons, it's proof her husband was (at least in that instance) a shithead for saying it at all (never mind more than once).  As well, many so called "damaged" women are not only able to be loved (and love deeply in return) they *are* loved.  So again -- not a button to react to something hurtful, and also untrue.

 

And if somebody actually IS covered in buttons -- not just one or two, but several, as you said -- they are, at the very least, hyper sensitive and crazy reactive, to multiple situations/triggers.  

 

 

That her husband could say something to provoke her IMO IMO IMO IMO shows she has a button for that, be it for his approval or whatever.  I responded because I had not heard of that incident and because it was yet another button she has, adding to the many I have perceived her as having.

 

Apparently perceptions differ.  I felt it would be considered pressing a button if approval was withheld when it was known to be wanted so badly.  Maybe Jason is not guilty of pressing this particular button, after all.

 

I prefer posting of my perceptions not in what "the majority of.........................would feel"   etc.  It is too broad a spectrum to comment on how I think they would feel.

 

I do not agree with your interpretation of "covered in buttons" but respect that yours differs.   I find asking one's definition before assuming helps along an understanding.

 

It appears our perceptions differ.  I don't require other folks have the same perception as mine and  I respect that they have their own.

[WireWrap]

Is there a difference? The one statement sounds like the other to me, lol. 

 

 

 

It was hardly a victory cry from Jason's team.  Totally store-brand vanilla imo ... no details, no real information.  Since the settlement was confidential, that was all he was allowed to say, so I am not surprised. 

 

 

 

I have read a ton of anti-Bethenny things that were obviously leaked by Jason's side. Or maybe they were all actually items planted by Bethenny herself, in order to frame Jason for trashing her and make him look bad, lol.  That's the ticket! 

Yes, getting what he asked for, joint/share custody, IS a "victory" IMO and that his lawyer nor Jason said anything nasty/ugly either to or about Behenny showed that they were putting Bryn first.......IMO

Most of the stories against Bethenny were from bloggers that used court reports for their info, not the normal "un named source".

[zoeysmom]

Is there a difference? The one statement sounds like the other to me, lol. 

 

 

 

It was hardly a victory cry from Jason's team.  Totally store-brand vanilla imo ... no details, no real information.  Since the settlement was confidential, that was all he was allowed to say, so I am not surprised. 

 

 

 

I have read a ton of anti-Bethenny things that were obviously leaked by Jason's side. Or maybe they were all actually items planted by Bethenny herself, in order to frame Jason for trashing her and make him look bad, lol.  That's the ticket! 

Gossip sites make up stories.  They are not necessarily on Jason side - they want to sell magazines, papers or ads.   RadarOnLine does it all day long.   There has never been any indication that Jason has wanted a relationship with the press. 

[Celia Rubenstein]

Yes, getting what he asked for, joint/share custody, IS a "victory" IMO and that his lawyer nor Jason said anything nasty/ugly either to or about Behenny showed that they were putting Bryn first.......IMO

 

Or it shows they are not going to stand on the courthouse steps and violate the gag order like morons. 

 

Most of the stories against Bethenny were from bloggers that used court reports for their info, not the normal "un named source".

 

It's not just bloggers.  There have been lots of negative things said about Bethenny on sites that purport to be reporting "news"  which come from "un named sources," going way back.  

 

Say what you will about Bethenny's decision making, but at least she has owned most of the things she has said about Jason, as opposed to certain people who have just hid in the shadows making anonymous comments. Maybe what she has done is not the wisest thing to do, but I don't disrespect it any more than I do someone leaking a bunch of equally nasty stuff but staying "un named."  It is actually pretty chicken shit, imo.  

 

Gossip sites make up stories.  They are not necessarily on Jason side - they want to sell magazines, papers or ads.   RadarOnLine does it all day long.   There has never been any indication that Jason has wanted a relationship with the press. 

 

If so many stories are made up, why are all the negative stories printed about Bethenny believed by so many people here, as if they come from infallible sources (but never Jason!)?  But stories that reflect badly on Jason must be made up by gossip writers to sell ads or were planted by Bethenny to destroy him. It's not possible that Jason ever leaked a story to make Bethenny look bad?  Or that a rag made up a story about her to sell ads?

 

Why not?

 

It seems like nothing but anti-Bethenny prejudice is at work sometimes when people decide what is credible and what is not. Anything anti-Bethenny is true and comes from unimpeachable sources who have only the best intentions.  And anything anti-Jason is either a lie or a plot by Bethenny to hurt Jason and it's proof she isn't putting Bryn first, the way Jason is doing ... because HE is Jason the Sweet and Wonderful, and he would never leak a a story because he is not interested in a relationship with the press. 

 

Has it occurred to anyone that the press may not be interested in a relationship with him, and not the other way around?  That the only time they are remotely interested in Jason is when he (or one of his "un named source friends") has something nasty to say about Bethenny? And that is the reason there is not story after story about him the way there is with Bethenny?   Bethenny is the celebrity.  She is the one on TV, with the big successful business and the image people love to pick apart. She sells magazines and ads, not Jason.  Is it not possible that the lack of stories about Jason is not because he doesn't want a relationship with the press, but rather because the press doesn't give a crap about him???

 

That is unless of course, Bethenny's name is in the headline .... I think that is a big part of what is eating Jason.  It's not the way Bethenny failed to love his parents and put their wishes ahead of her needs.  It's because Jason got a small taste of celebrity, then he got dumped and left in the dust.  He's plain old bitter, and he is going to make Bethenny pay the only way he can: financially.  

 

It's the oldest story in divorce court. 

Edited June 16, 2015 by Celia Rubenstein

[Jel]

"Unnamed sources" is classic passive aggressive.  

 

Who does that remind you of?

[Rainny]

I gotta weigh in here.  I preface that i lost track of B especially after her talk show ended.  I knew she was divorcing but that was about it.   I did watch BGM and BEA .  I cannot add any facts about their legal agreements etc. Apologies if I'm interrupting the flow of that convo but do want to talk abut what I saw in their marriage.

 

During BGM and BEA I was beginning to admire and relate to B although I admit I was still a little bit afraid of her.  When she got married to Jason I thought   "hey, she CAN share!'" {spotlight, success, feelings  etc.)  "She can accept and want an 'equal'.".  I guess up to that point I saw her as always competitive and always very .. um  'singular' --   not so much selfish (but that's part of it) but more like "I don't want/need your help,"   I never saw her as a "partnership" person. 

 

So this is some of what I saw in their marriage. As you will see I have a great deal of sympathy for Jason.  I can have selective memory so feel free to remind me if I'm forgetting something or missing a piece of the puzzle.

 

I saw B becoming more and more nervous and stonewalling as the SG brand took off.  Jason was dedicated to helping her but she was on the fence about really letting him partner in or becoming a bonafide employee.  That was a fact as I recall.  They both talked about the pros and cons of him coming on board. .  It seemed she wanted his feedback and support, but wasn't sure she wanted to make it official.

 

 I thought  "girl you are not all in on this marriage. You are already thinking about your assets ..'in case'."  This was not a little shit business he wanted in on for lack of his own talent and drive.  There was plenty of room for him and he would have been a true asset.  Frankly I think he saw the writing on the wall then.

 

Her Birthday party.  How rude and selfish could she be?  Hiding and crying in the bathroom.  She just had a wedding where she was the center of attention.    But now it's all too much and overwhelming.?  What a kick in the teeth to him, his parents, and friends. I cannot help but think her overall thought process is  "don't do anything for me, help me or care about me because I WILL -- sooner than later--DROP you and move on, and I don't want to look like a shit.  I don't want to "OWE" you ANYTHING..   .

 

She resented his 'normal, wholesome' family and his image of being 'normal' as well.  I could understand a bit of envy for that, but No ..it wasn't that.  She said over and over that it made her look bad.  (i'm tired of being the "crazy one'.  "you always look like the Good Guy")  She beat him with that stick constantly.   Gosh Bethenny, one would think you would be happy to have a family like that, especially for the sake of your daughter and after boo-hooing about the horror that your family was.  But no. .   I couldn't believe she had the balls to say out-loud and unabashedly that she resented him AND his family for being wholesome and normal and kind to her.   It was like water to the wicked witch.

 

 Bethenny was stingy with that baby.too.  ('this is MY baby..or child".. idk ) ..yeah she said that.  and "I don't want visit his parents in PA every other weekend " .  

 

I truly believe Jason's wrath is rooted in the disrespect and ingratitude Bethenny showed to his parents.  She shit all over everything they were and did.  She as much as told him WHILE they were married  that  'you and your family have nothing to offer me'. .  You are ruining my image and you will take my money.'    and he thought .."you know what? as always..You're right!"  

I remember everything you wrote from her shows too and I thought the same thing. But, I also thought Jason could have at least backed off a little on spending so much time with his parents if it made his wife uncomfortable.

 

When my parents got married my father's parents owned 8 acres of land. They gave my parents an acre on the opposite corner of where their house was. My father would get up on Saturday and walk over to my grandparent's house and be there most of the day, and then do it again on Sunday. It drove my mother crazy and he and my grandparent's would always tell her she should come over too, she was always welcome. But that wasn't the point. What I didn't understand until I was married was that she wanted time with my father and our family. She had no problem spending time over there sometimes, and on holidays but every weekend was too much. They fought about it a lot.

 

I was always on Bethenny's side when it came to that. Her childhood had no bearing on it for me. My mother was close to her family, but we didn't see them as much and they also lived in the same town we did.

 

I liked his parents, what I saw of them, I just thought they were too needy. Bethenny and Jason should have been given time to adjust to being their own family without having to deal with guilt from his parents for not spending so much time with them. 

 

Just my opinion.  

[zoeysmom]

Good grief I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate this link because I remembered the damaged scenes differently than the posted: Jason tells Bethenny she is damaged over and over until she is a sobbing mess [this is not a direct quote, I embellished it to reflect what I was taking away from the numerous, numerous, nuuummeeerrrrooousss posts] I remember watching that scene and thinking, This is real for Jason. He is fighting for a marriage and his reputation. Bethenny is fighting for her.... I have no clue what she was doing because I can't relate to her at all. Even back then I could see the scenes in her head, the ones that started as I will befriend Jill, immerse myself in her life as the damaged friend, then I will betray, shift gears and Jill will think she can go against me but will self destruct, I will have a spinoff, got to find a guy, found him!, got to get a hook, oops I am pregnant!, second spinoff is a go, now let's plant the seeds about Jason, What?? he is staying in the apartment??? He is supposed to just fade away. But, but, his family is full of schmucks, he is a schmuck, this is not happening! While Jason shows just how a man spurned, deceived, pushed aside, but who is decent at his core will react. By quietly fighting for his rights as the father. 

 

The only thing I will give Bethenny is that Jason could have given her some space regarding his Mom and Dad. Yet she could have also given more and not been so "damaged" regarding relationship. Damaged is her brand, more so than Skinny Girl ever was. It is how she has gotten away with so much, until she didn't when it mattered, Bryn. Because Jason. He called her bluff. He didn't fall for the damaged brand and fought back. That's my view.

 

The above was about the words concerned vs too concerned. The difference in every day life is, concerned equals you know the facts of the situation and know it could go for or against you; too concerned equals ZOMG!!! We're doooooomed!

 

I have said many times this site is in my head! All day I was thinking about suggesting an Argue a point until you win thread. Haha. All in jest.

When Bethenny gave her original statement about why she divorced Jason it had nothing to do with the visits to Hazelton.  To me it sounded like someone who had never lived in a committed relationship and bailed instead of putting the work into it and maybe engaging in some introspection.  Not just her second marriage but her first as well.  Same set of problems - he had a lovely family that treated her like one of their own.   Bethenny moves very quickly and there are times I don't think she realizes the mess she leaves in her wake.  She claims she has trust issues.  I would think anyone involved with her would have trust issues.  She is now 45 years old and still looking for Mr. Right.  Mr. Right needs to not like sex or require her going down on him, he can't want to marry and he needs to realize her business, her television fame are paramount to any relationship and most likely it is a relationship that will not be part of her reality TV career and of course the daughter she has 50% of the time and requires her undivided attention 24/7 while in her custody.  And she has a lot of money.

 

Maybe in retrospect a little unhappiness wouldn't have been all that unbearable. 

[breezy424]

Is there a difference? The one statement sounds like the other to me, lol. 

 

 

 

It was hardly a victory cry from Jason's team.  Totally store-brand vanilla imo ... no details, no real information.  Since the settlement was confidential, that was all he was allowed to say, so I am not surprised. 

 

 

 

I have read a ton of anti-Bethenny things that were obviously leaked by Jason's side. Or maybe they were all actually items planted by Bethenny herself, in order to frame Jason for trashing her and make him look bad, lol.  That's the ticket! 

Yes, there is a difference.  Words have meaning.  I'll let others interpret it as they see fit.  We disagree.

 

You see vanilla.  I see something else.  We disagree.

 

Obviously linked by Jason's side?  Like what.  No.  I take that back.  Let's just agree to disagree.

 

I still like your passion for the debate even though we disagree on just about everything. 

[hottesthw]

I think some people here are using terms that they don't quite understand.

There are two aspects to custody ... physical custody, which has to do with where the child spends time; and legal custody, which deals with who makes decisions regarding the child's education, religion, and medical care.

My understanding is that Bethenny wanted sole LEGAL custody. People are focussing on the word "sole" and taking it to mean she wanted sole physical custody, intending to totally cut Jason out of Bryn's life. But that was never the case.

It was almost a given that physical custody was going to be split 50-50. That is just the way it is with a child Bryn's age unless there is some reason one parent should have less time with the child. But nothing in Bethenny's testimony seems meant to demonstrate this about Jason. She never tried to claim he was an unfit parent in any way, which is what she would have to show in order to limit his physical custody. Instead she just testified about what a jerk in general he was, and this is causing people to see her as ridiculous or just out to trash Jason because the things she said bear no relation to his parenting abilities.

But I believe the people finding her testimony to be "petty" or "ridiculous" or just meant to hurt Jason are missing the point. Her testimony was never intended to show Jason was a bad father undeserving of equal time with his daughter.

The things Bethenny testified to were (I believe) more likely meant to show that Jason is a petty, spiteful, childish person who is devoted to trying to annoy and embarrass his wife. And the kind of things she mentioned are actually relevant in terms of showing that joint legal custody would not work between the two of them: they don't get along, Jason is bitter and resentful and he goes out of his way to screw with her, thus only one of them can have legal control because they will never be able to make decisions together. Bethenny's testimony did a fairly good job of demonstrating this. The hot dog thing, for example. Some people consider it the stupidest thing in the world and hardly proof Jason would not be a good father. But it wasn't meant to show Jason would not be a good father. It was meant to show they can't even come to an agreement about their daughter's basic diet ... it was evidence the judge needs to award sole LEGAL custody to one person over the other.

That brings us to the issue of why Bethenny and Jason settled their case once she was done testifying. Why did she agree to sharing legal custody with Jason?

Some people seem to see Jason as "winning" because "Bethenny settled" which must mean (a) she felt like she was going to lose and ran to Jason offering to give him everything he wanted, or (b) that she had simply accomplished her goal, which was to trash Jason in the press without having to be cross-examined and she was just done. But I don't think it is anything as dramatic or nefarious as that, rather it was more of an Occam's razor simplest answer type thing.

I think they just made a deal.

Bethenny might very well have agreed to drop her attempt to gain sole legal custody in exchange for some fairly small but personally meaningful concessions regarding physical custody, something as simple as she gets Bryn for the holiday dates she prefers (and yes, custody order are often that specific, especially when the parties can't get along at all).

I think after listening to Bethenny's testimony, Jason might have been worried about losing legal custody completely and was more amenable to compromising on certain physical custody issues in order to make that threat go away. I realize how petty many of the things Bethenny said about Jason seem to many people, but the fact of the matter is if they went all the way through a trial, the court would make a decision and Jason knew that. And as petty as the evidence may seem, if it is all the court had to go on, that is what will determine things. And it is an "either-or" proposition, essentially. One side wins and one side loses. Joint legal custody is virtually never ordered after the parties go through an entire trial. The likelihood of the parties ending up right back in front of the judge is too high, so the court makes the call and that is essentially that.

The threat of totally losing any legal say so about Bryn's future may have suddenly appeared a very real possibility to Jason, so if to avoid that risk he had to sacrifice a couple of Thanksgivings in Hazelton or agree to let Bethenny take Bryn to St. Barth's for two weeks at Christmas, it might have been worth it to him. Whether he approached her or she approached him is unknown and for the most part irrelevant in determining who "won." That is the idea of a compromise, after all, isn't it? Both sides win a little and both sides lose a little ... ? I think that is all that happened here. No Bethenny sticking pins in her Jason voodoo doll, no Jason doing a victory dance in his underwear.. Just a mututally beneficial compromise.

Joint legal custody happens ALL the time. Judges don't take away legal decision-making from one parent over hot dogs. Her lawyers went for a longshot and gave in after she got her trashing done. Divorce and family court is ugly. But judges don't play games like what these 2 went in there with.

[hottesthw]

Or it shows they are not going to stand on the courthouse steps and violate the gag order like morons.

It's not just bloggers. There have been lots of negative things said about Bethenny on sites that purport to be reporting "news" which come from "un named sources," going way back.

Say what you will about Bethenny's decision making, but at least she has owned most of the things she has said about Jason, as opposed to certain people who have just hid in the shadows making anonymous comments. Maybe what she has done is not the wisest thing to do, but I don't disrespect it any more than I do someone leaking a bunch of equally nasty stuff but staying "un named." It is actually pretty chicken shit, imo.

If so many stories are made up, why are all the negative stories printed about Bethenny believed by so many people here, as if they come from infallible sources (but never Jason!)? But stories that reflect badly on Jason must be made up by gossip writers to sell ads or were planted by Bethenny to destroy him. It's not possible that Jason ever leaked a story to make Bethenny look bad? Or that a rag made up a story about her to sell ads?

Why not?

It seems like nothing but anti-Bethenny prejudice is at work sometimes when people decide what is credible and what is not. Anything anti-Bethenny is true and comes from unimpeachable sources who have only the best intentions. And anything anti-Jason is either a lie or a plot by Bethenny to hurt Jason and it's proof she isn't putting Bryn first, the way Jason is doing ... because HE is Jason the Sweet and Wonderful, and he would never leak a a story because he is not interested in a relationship with the press.

Has it occurred to anyone that the press may not be interested in a relationship with him, and not the other way around? That the only time they are remotely interested in Jason is when he (or one of his "un named source friends") has something nasty to say about Bethenny? And that is the reason there is not story after story about him the way there is with Bethenny? Bethenny is the celebrity. She is the one on TV, with the big successful business and the image people love to pick apart. She sells magazines and ads, not Jason. Is it not possible that the lack of stories about Jason is not because he doesn't want a relationship with the press, but rather because the press doesn't give a crap about him???

That is unless of course, Bethenny's name is in the headline .... I think that is a big part of what is eating Jason. It's not the way Bethenny failed to love his parents and put their wishes ahead of her needs. It's because Jason got a small taste of celebrity, then he got dumped and left in the dust. He's plain old bitter, and he is going to make Bethenny pay the only way he can: financially.

It's the oldest story in divorce court.

Who here really believes that if Jason wanted to speak to the press about anything that they wouldn't smack him on the cover? That's Bethenny's wishful thinking.

But then again you mention a gag order. Why is it only against Jason? Why does she get to talk smack about him but he can't say anything?

We don't hear from Jason because he's busy being a dad and living his life. We hear endlessly from Bethenny because she would literally die if the attention every drifted off of her.

[Celia Rubenstein]

Joint legal custody happens ALL the time. Judges don't take away legal decision-making from one parent over hot dogs. Her lawyers went for a longshot and gave in after she got her trashing done. Divorce and family court is ugly. But judges don't play games like what these 2 went in there with.

From what I have read, a judge ordering joint legal custody after going through an entire trial is almost unheard of. This is because if the parties were able to work together at all, a full trial would not have been necessary in the first place. So to avoid the parties being back before the judge almost immediately because they can't work together, the judge typically makes the call that one person has all the legal control.

Hot dogs may sound dumb to you, but coupled with other things, it may suggest to a judge that Jason is a childish trouble maker who seizes every opportunity to create discord with his wife and he is the party undeserving of legal custody.

[breezy424]

From what I have read, a judge ordering joint legal custody after going through an entire trial is almost unheard of. This is because if the parties were able to work together at all, a full trial would not have been necessary in the first place. So to avoid the parties being back before the judge almost immediately because they can't work together, the judge typically makes the call that one person has all the legal control.

Hot dogs may sound dumb to you, but coupled with other things, it may suggest to a judge that Jason is a childish trouble maker who seizes every opportunity to create discord with his wife and he is the party undeserving of legal custody.

Or it could suggest to the judge that Beth is a childish trouble make who seizes every opportunity to create discord with her husband and she is the party undeserving of legal custody.  And that's why she settled.  It goes both ways.  There is nothing to suggest that Beth has attained legal custody.

[Celia Rubenstein]

What evidence was there that showed Bethany was childish and a trouble maker? All she did was testify about Jason's behavior. What is childish or trouble making about that? I don't think merely putting on your case in court suggests to the judge that you are at fault. If that were the case everyone who walked into a courtroom would instantly lose all credibility just for being there.

I think judges tend to focus on actual evidence presented in court. And it was Jason who chose to not provide any. That suggests to me he had little to offer that would show Bethenny was undeserving of legal custody. And if he could have introduced witnesses that would show Bethenny had committed perjury, I am sure he would have done it. But neither of those things happened.

It suggests to me that Jason had a weak case against Bethenny and no defense for his own behavior, and he probably leapt at the chance to settle with her so he could stop the trial and not have to take the stand and probably lose legal custody altogether.

[hottesthw]

From what I have read, a judge ordering joint legal custody after going through an entire trial is almost unheard of. This is because if the parties were able to work together at all, a full trial would not have been necessary in the first place. So to avoid the parties being back before the judge almost immediately because they can't work together, the judge typically makes the call that one person has all the legal control.

Hot dogs may sound dumb to you, but coupled with other things, it may suggest to a judge that Jason is a childish trouble maker who seizes every opportunity to create discord with his wife and he is the party undeserving of legal custody.

If that were actually true then bitter women everywhere would just make sure their cases all went to trial and they would bring pictures of all the dirty socks their ex husbands left on the floor and walk away with sole custody.

But in real life, no it just doesn't work that way.

[beesknees]

Joint legal custody happens ALL the time. Judges don't take away legal decision-making from one parent over hot dogs. Her lawyers went for a longshot and gave in after she got her trashing done. Divorce and family court is ugly. But judges don't play games like what these 2 went in there with.

 

Exactamundo!  This.  Both Beth & Jason are physically and mentally fit to take care of Brynn and they live in the same area (relatively speaking) so there is no reason the judge won't split things 50-50% down the middle.

 

Holidays will be split up and alternated year-to-year.  Summer vacations as well.  Joint decision making for Brynn's medical, dental, religious, and any other major decisions will be split accordingly.  This will all be hammered out in excruciating detail in Beth & Jason's divorce documents.  In the state where I reside couples are mandated to have this "fun" part of the divorce handled by a mediator and let me tell you that it is straight up excruciating.  It can take several sessions depending on how complicated or how "far apart" the opposing couples are.  My ex and I were arguing so horribly we almost got kicked out of the mediator's office.  Ahhh, good times.  Good times ....

 

If the mediator can't get couples to agree on the hammering out of the "who, what, where, when, and why" regarding the children the attorneys go to bat. If there is still no compromise the judge decides, whether the sticking point be matters pertaining to physical custody or legal custody.  What ever the judge decides is written in stone.  In my case my ex husband was so ridiculous and being so contentious over the slightest, most stupid issues regarding our child the mediator thought there was something "off" about my ex husband (hee).

 

The mediator thought my ex husband was being so purposely spiteful that she was going to recommend a guardian ad litem for my child (my child's own personal, independent attorney) to aid the judge in determining which parent got the lion's share of physical/legal custody.  When my ex heard that (and how expensive it was going to be!) he magically got "right" again and his dumb ass got snapped back into reality.

 

I disagree with the poster up thread (regarding the "hot dog" issue) citing that something like that could translate into potential loss of legal custody.  I think not.  My ex was a drug user, seriously poor decision maker when it came to my child (and I had ample police reports to back that up) and he STILL got 50% placement, both legal and physical.  I had a much better attorney than my spouse did and after all of the yelling and shouting and battling  and money spent on attorney fees everything regarding our child was still split 50-50.

 

If I would have known that from the get-go I could have saved a lot of money. hard feelings, and my sanity.  Not to mention the huge emotional/physical toll it took on my child.  I fought on behalf of my daughter.  I fought hard to no avail.  If I could give some advice to Bethenny I would tell her to just settle the divorce and move on with her life.  Jason is not a serial killer.  He's a good father.  Brynn deserves peace.

Edited June 16, 2015 by beesknees

[ZoloftBlob]

Hot dogs may sound dumb to you, but coupled with other things, it may suggest to a judge that Jason is a childish trouble maker who seizes every opportunity to create discord with his wife and he is the party undeserving of legal custody.

 

Or it could suggest to the judge that Beth is a childish trouble make who seizes every opportunity to create discord with her husband and she is the party undeserving of legal custody.  And that's why she settled.  It goes both ways.  There is nothing to suggest that Beth has attained legal custody.

 

I think the problem here is that the hotdog issue isn't really about hot dogs.

 

Its about respect.

 

However you feel about Bethenny's reasons for insisting on a vegetarian/vegan diet, that is what she chose and there's really no health argument against it (veganism might require an occasional supplement but is otherwise very healthy even for children, and frankly I am sure Bethenny falls more in the vegetarian area)

 

It doesn't matter if it is a hot dog or a piece of filet mignon, what Jason is doing when he feeds the kid meat is saying "when you're with me, Mommy's rules don't matter. You don't have to respect Mommy". Now that adorable and cutesy "aw Poor Jason just wanted to sweetly buy his kid a hotdog" but I am pretty sure that Jason wouldn't and won't like it if say he decides "no slutty tops" as a rule and Bethenny decides "when you're with me, Daddy's rules don't matter. You don't have to respect Daddy" - in fact I think any number of people would throw hissy fits on Jason's behalf on how wrong wrong wrong Bethenny was to override a decision of his. If he wants his parenting decisions respected, he needs to respect Bethenny's as well, and the hotdog issue indicates that Jason doesn't have respect.

 

Note - I am not saying Bethenny does have respect, I am simply pointing out that the hotdog is a clear indicator that Jason does not respect Bethenny's decisions.

[beesknees]

I think the problem here is that the hotdog issue isn't really about hot dogs.

 

Its about respect.

 

However you feel about Bethenny's reasons for insisting on a vegetarian/vegan diet, that is what she chose and there's really no health argument against it (veganism might require an occasional supplement but is otherwise very healthy even for children, and frankly I am sure Bethenny falls more in the vegetarian area)

 

It doesn't matter if it is a hot dog or a piece of filet mignon, what Jason is doing when he feeds the kid meat is saying "when you're with me, Mommy's rules don't matter. You don't have to respect Mommy". Now that adorable and cutesy "aw Poor Jason just wanted to sweetly buy his kid a hotdog" but I am pretty sure that Jason wouldn't and won't like it if say he decides "no slutty tops" as a rule and Bethenny decides "when you're with me, Daddy's rules don't matter. You don't have to respect Daddy" - in fact I think any number of people would throw hissy fits on Jason's behalf on how wrong wrong wrong Bethenny was to override a decision of his. If he wants his parenting decisions respected, he needs to respect Bethenny's as well, and the hotdog issue indicates that Jason doesn't have respect.

 

Note - I am not saying Bethenny does have respect, I am simply pointing out that the hotdog is a clear indicator that Jason does not respect Bethenny's decisions.

Maybe Jason doesn't want Bryn to grow up vegan.  Maybe he wants her to eat meat.  Jason is also 50% of the parenting equation.  Why is Bryn's diet Bethenny's decision alone?  Why should Jason have to blindly respect that?  Shouldn't Bryn's diet regimen be a joint parenting decision?  Bethenny does not have sole custody of Bryn.  Where was the respect for Jason when Beth decided single-handedly that Bryn would be raised vegan without his input?  The "respect door" swings both ways.  Just sayin'.

Edited June 16, 2015 by beesknees

[Crikey]

Good grief I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate this link because I remembered the damaged scenes differently than the posted: Jason tells Bethenny she is damaged over and over until she is a sobbing mess [this is not a direct quote, I embellished it to reflect what I was taking away from the numerous, numerous, nuuummeeerrrrooousss posts] I remember watching that scene and thinking, This is real for Jason. He is fighting for a marriage and his reputation. Bethenny is fighting for her.... I have no clue what she was doing because I can't relate to her at all. Even back then I could see the scenes in her head, the ones that started as I will befriend Jill, immerse myself in her life as the damaged friend, then I will betray, shift gears and Jill will think she can go against me but will self destruct, I will have a spinoff, got to find a guy, found him!, got to get a hook, oops I am pregnant!, second spinoff is a go, now let's plant the seeds about Jason, What?? he is staying in the apartment??? He is supposed to just fade away. But, but, his family is full of schmucks, he is a schmuck, this is not happening! While Jason shows just how a man spurned, deceived, pushed aside, but who is decent at his core will react. By quietly fighting for his rights as the father. 

 

The only thing I will give Bethenny is that Jason could have given her some space regarding his Mom and Dad. Yet she could have also given more and not been so "damaged" regarding relationship. Damaged is her brand, more so than Skinny Girl ever was. It is how she has gotten away with so much, until she didn't when it mattered, Bryn. Because Jason. He called her bluff. He didn't fall for the damaged brand and fought back. That's my view.

 

The above was about the words concerned vs too concerned. The difference in every day life is, concerned equals you know the facts of the situation and know it could go for or against you; too concerned equals ZOMG!!! We're doooooomed!

 

I have said many times this site is in my head! All day I was thinking about suggesting an Argue a point until you win thread. Haha. All in jest.

Yep and I  wonder, if she carries on the damaged image, just how does that get her any happiness in life.

[beesknees]

Beth didn't have a problem with meat when she was scarfing down those hors d'oeuvres at Carole's.

Right?  Or when she was single-handedly raised by wolves.  No herbivore BS for wolves.

[shoegal]

Maybe Jason doesn't want Bryn to grow up vegan.  Maybe he wants her to eat meat.  Jason is also 50% of the parenting equation.  Why is Bryn's diet Bethenny's decision alone?  Why should Jason have to blindly respect that?  Shouldn't Bryn's diet regimen be a joint parenting decision?  Bethenny does not have sole custody of Bryn.  Where was the respect for Jason when Beth decided single-handedly that Bryn would be raised vegan without his input?  The "respect door" swings both ways.  Just sayin'.

Was Bryn eating meat when they were married and raising her together? Doesn't sound like it. I think the issue is doing something out of spite.

Is there an example of Bethenny disrespecting Jason's parenting choices?

[ZoloftBlob]

Was Bryn eating meat when they were married and raising her together? Doesn't sound like it. I think the issue is doing something out of spite.

 

This - the decision for Bryn to be vegan started when they were together. Respect does go both ways. The only parenting decision of Jason's I've heard about is something Bethenny does seem to respect - Bryn isn't on her show. I do grant the legalities around that one but really, what about the "I'm sorry you have to go with Mommy" stuff? How was that Jason helping? ANd hey, if Jason is gonna say shit like that to his daughter, I sure hope he understands that his daughter will be looking at him, years from now, asking him "If you hated Mommy so much and knew she was so damaging, why didn;t you fight for me instead of passive aggressively teaching me to hate her and then letting her raise me?"

 

Because thats where Jason's attitude lands. I am sure when Bryn ends up one messed up kid, there will be blame for *both* of her parents to bear.

[shoegal]

I believe Bethenny and Jason decided when they were married that Bryn would be raised Catholic. What if Bethenny suddenly started taking Bryn to temple when she had her? I think Jason might have an issue with that.

Edited June 16, 2015 by shoegal

[beesknees]

Was Bryn eating meat when they were married and raising her together? Doesn't sound like it. I think the issue is doing something out of spite.

Is there an example of Bethenny disrespecting Jason's parenting choices?

I stand corrected.  You could be right on this.  I didn't watch Bethenny's show independent of RHONY.  I was just commenting in regards to what a poster up thread quoted by saying "Jason didn't respect her decision" regarding vegan ism, implying it was Beth's decision alone for their daughter's dietary regimen.  I wish the poster up thread would have said "their decision" initially so I would have known both Jason and Bethenny made the decision for Bryn not to eat meat back in the day.

 

I mean, if that is the case then Jason is being a petty, spiteful, passive-aggressive asshole to go back on their agreement and feed Bryn meat.  I agree that would be wrong.  I also agree that Jason would probably be angry if Beth decided to start taking Bryn to temple because the original agreement was to raise their daughter Catholic.

 

All of these issues - dietary restrictions, religious practices, will be all spelled out in the final divorce documents.  Disrespect will eventually simmer down because there will be no wiggle room for either party to get back at the other.  There will be specific guidelines for all to follow.  Believe me, that shuts most of the fuck nuttery down in short order.

Edited June 16, 2015 by beesknees

[Crikey]

I believe Bethenny and Jason decided when they were married that Bryn would be raised Catholic. What if Bethenny suddenly started taking Bryn to temple when she had her? I think Jason might have an issue with that.

What would be the issue if she took her to temple?  

[breezy424]

Bryn was two when Beth filed for divorce.  Many parents start out with different plans for their children.  It's much easier to decide what a baby or toddler's diet will be.  Then they get older and are eating out, eating at parties, eating 'regular' food, being with other kids, etc.  Things change.  So, if the parents are not vegans or vegetarians, how do you force your child to be one?  We had Beth eating those hot dog things at Carole's.  What if she had Bryn with her?  Beth doesn't eat them?  That's hypocritical.  Plus, Beth didn't state how often Jason gives Bryn meat. 

[shoegal]

What would be the issue if she took her to temple?

The issue would be if Bethenny and Jason made a decision about raising Bryn a certain way and then Bethenny began going against that decision on her time. Religion was just an illustrative example.

[Crikey]

The issue would be if Bethenny and Jason made a decision about raising Bryn a certain way and then Bethenny began going against that decision on her time. Religion was just an illustrative example.

OK.

I think taking a child to temple is not trying to undermine the agreement to raise her in the catholic faith.

 Likely the little girl will go to temple and see Bat/Bar Mitzvahs and etc. along her life path.

[WireWrap]

I stand corrected.  You could be right on this.  I didn't watch Bethenny's show independent of RHONY.  I was just commenting in regards to what a poster up thread quoted by saying "Jason didn't respect her decision" regarding vegan ism, implying it was Beth's decision alone for their daughter's dietary regimen.  I wish the poster up thread would have said "their decision" initially so I would have known both Jason and Bethenny made the decision for Bryn not to eat meat back in the day.

 

I mean, if that is the case then Jason is being a petty, spiteful, passive-aggressive asshole to go back on their agreement and feed Bryn meat.  I agree that would be wrong.  I also agree that Jason would probably be angry if Beth decided to start taking Bryn to temple because the original agreement was to raise their daughter Catholic.

 

All of these issues - dietary restrictions, religious practices, will be all spelled out in the final divorce documents.  Disrespect will eventually simmer down because there will be no wiggle room for either party to get back at the other.  There will be specific guidelines for all to follow.  Believe me, that shuts most of the fuck nuttery down in short order.

I thought that Bethenny stated that Bryn said she wanted to be vegan, or some such garbage because we all now that 2 -3 year olds know best about their diets and they never change their minds. Maybe it is as simple as Bryn changed her mind and wanted a hotdog. LOL  IMO, Bethenny has to control everyone and everything and fights anyone that challenges her, she is a control freak.

[ZoloftBlob]

I think taking a child to temple is not trying to undermine the agreement to raise her in the catholic faith

 

I think it depends on how it's presented.

 

I was just commenting in regards to what a poster up thread quoted by saying "Jason didn't respect her decision" regarding vegan ism, implying it was Beth's decision alone for their daughter's dietary regimen.  I wish the poster up thread would have said "their decision" initially so I would have known both Jason and Bethenny made the decision for Bryn not to eat meat back in the day.

I'm sorry I didn't spell it out clearly enough for you.

 

I wonder what Bethenny would have done if Jason had wanted Bryn to be raised on a strict kosher diet?

 

Considering Bethenny's the theoretically Jewish one, I think she'd be pleased...

[Crikey]

I find it rather interesting that, for two folks who seem to want some control over raising the little girl they brought into the world, they did not sit down at the kitchen table and hash it out together so each of them had some, but not all, control over any issue.  Instead they both chose to hand over the control to judges and mediators.  

For the little girl, it might turn out to be the best way.

Shame they did not try out the Pie rule/divide and choose method first.

[hottesthw]

Was Bryn eating meat when they were married and raising her together? Doesn't sound like it. I think the issue is doing something out of spite.

Is there an example of Bethenny disrespecting Jason's parenting choices?

I think she was on breast milk then wasn't she? Geez, its not like Brynn was gnawing on tbones.

And yes, throwing a hiss fit because you don't want your daughter to visit her only living grandparents is disrespectful IMO.

[shoegal]

Has Bethenny forbidden Bryn from seeing her grandparents???

[breezy424]

According to Beth, she never had Bryn on a vegan diet.  She gives her dairy. 

 

http://www.realitytea.com/2011/09/05/bethenny-frankel-says-15-months-daughter-bryns-a-vegetarian-plus-to-write-a-novel/

 

Interesting that the original blog by Beth concerning Bryn's diet is gone.   Beth also said in another interview that Bryn is a vegetarian by choice.  She was two at the time.  In none of this, Beth has said that Jason agrees with this diet.  Even in her custody testimony, she didn't say Jason and I agreed....

[Crikey]

I think it depends on how it's presented.

 

 

Of course.

And, had the original post added more then  taking her to temple I would not have wondered why the simple act of taking her to temple would have been an issue, but, it was not presented that way, was it.

The rabbit hole looms, I fear.

[shoegal]

Of course.

And, had the original post added more then  taking her to temple I would not have wondered why the simple act of taking her to temple would have been an issue, but, it was not presented that way, was it.

The rabbit hole looms, I fear.

I apologize if I did not present the issue in the proper way.

[Crikey]

I apologize if I did not present the issue in the proper way.

Please re read my post, I referred to the original post being not presented that way, not your post.

[shoegal]

Please re read my post, I referred to the original post being not presented that way, not your post.

Mine was the original post.

[ZoloftBlob]

Well, to draw the allusion more clearly. It was Bethenny's idea that Bryn be vegan. If Jason is handling ot by being all "when you're with Daddy, you don't need to follow Mommy's rules, here's a hotdog, when you're with me, you're a carnivore" - then thats disrespect. If Bethenny has agreed that Bryn will be raised Catholic - Jason's faith, and then takes Bryn to temple with "When you're with Mommy, you're jewish, you don't have tp follow daddy's rules, and when you're with me, you're not catholic" - that would be disrespect. Just taking herto a temple isn't disrespect, as long as its presented appropriately

[hottesthw]

Well, to draw the allusion more clearly. It was Bethenny's idea that Bryn be vegan. If Jason is handling ot by being all "when you're with Daddy, you don't need to follow Mommy's rules, here's a hotdog, when you're with me, you're a carnivore" - then thats disrespect. If Bethenny has agreed that Bryn will be raised Catholic - Jason's faith, and then takes Bryn to temple with "When you're with Mommy, you're jewish, you don't have tp follow daddy's rules, and when you're with me, you're not catholic" - that would be disrespect. Just taking herto a temple isn't disrespect, as long as its presented appropriately

And those are 2 issues that if they really are important enough to the parent, then they need to sit down maturely and discuss. But I don't see how Bethenny is going to convince anyone that being vegan is the best choice for Bryn while she is literally sitting on tv eating a hot dog herself. Just like if Jason never stepped foot in a church but all of a sudden was horrified that B doesn't take Bryn to church when she is with her.

[Crikey]

Mine was the original post.

My apologies!

I am getting the heebie jeebies with the endless rabbit holes.  I tend to enjoy fun snark on all the HW's and am getting far afield of that

Time to back away a bit from the keyboard for me.

[shoegal]

I don't see how Bethenny eating a Trader Joes Parmesan pup means she can't object to stuffing Bryn with hot dogs. Bethenny probably had a cup of coffee that day as well, that doesn't mean she has to give Bryn a cappuccino.

Edited: because typing on your phone is hard.

Edited June 16, 2015 by shoegal

[WireWrap]

I don't see how Berhenny eating a Trader Joes Parmesan pup means she can't object to Stuffing Bryn with hot dogs. Bethenny probably had a cup of coffee that day as well, that doesn't mean she has to give Bryn a cappuccino.

By Bethenny's own words, if Bryn decided to eat meat it would not be a "big deal" and it would be ok, yet she, Bethenny, in fact made it not just a big deal but a huge deal by bringing it into court as a way to secure Primary Custody of her. And nowhere did I read that Bethenny claimed that Jason was "stuffing" Bryn with hotdogs like he was forcing her to eat them against Bryn's wishes. Bethenny needs to give up this need to control everyone. JMO