The GCEh?C: Canadian Episodes (Spoilers for Non-Canadians)

[valleycliffe]

I wonder what that coma juice did to Phyllis's brain that she thinks Billy Abbott is a real man? I also wonder what happened to Chuck Pratt that he thinks run of the mill shit software like Passkey should be the heart of a corporate intrigue story. So many questions, so few fucks left to give...

i imagine he's seen a couple of eppy's of mr. robot..he loves stealing from prime time, he's just not very good at it.

 

as for phyl and billy, well, he just loves to throw couplings against the wall to see what sticks.

and if HE likes them, he don't give a flying fig who else does.

[bannana]

I was glad to see that the real depth of Pricktor's depravity was talked about today with the convo between Vic and Abby.  Vic explained that Pricktor used crazy Kelly to kidnap drug and torture Jack, and also the lie to Jack that Phyllis was dead, and the lie to Ben that Kelly had killed herself.  At the end, all of the Newmans were there hating on Pricktor after he faked a medical emergency when Paul tried to arrest him.  I know, I know, it won't last, but at least it was a bit of a victory for us having to endure his loathesome behaviour.

 

I liked how Drinki knew right away that Pricktor was faking.  And how Noah pointed out that Pricktor caused the deaths of Austin and Courtney.

 

Pricktor tried to accuse Billy Boy of being behind the fabrication of evidence, and  no one was buying it.  Then at the end Pricktor lying in his hospital bed raged at his family to get out, and screamed at them that they cannot get by without him, blah blah blah.  They looked at him with contempt, though Vic of course looked sad (she's got a sick relationship with Pricktor).

 

But Jack was missing throughout this episode, not sure why they did that.

[valleycliffe]

LOLOL  and then, for the preview, it's turd crying and quoting a passage about taking the road less travelled..

 

i see he is throwing himself a pity party..

[bannana]

Yeah, what was with that preview?!  I don't get how he gets to feel sorry for himself, being guilty of kidnapping and torture, not to mention countless deaths.  And remember how he chuckled about Jack being tortured.  The guy is a sociopath, but now he is all misunderstood?  Lock him up and throw away the key.  I don't understand how this can play out now.

[miamama]

But Jack was missing throughout this episode, not sure why they did that.

 

So Jack was offscreen working on his "defence" with Michael while HIS STORY HITS ITS LONG-AWAITED RESOLUTION???? Watch. He'll come back and say "all good. Michael called the State Dept" or some such shit and "I'm in the clear." Yup. ONE YEAR of being forced to keep this a secret under threat of jail, and Pratt will pull some more shit out of his hack ass so that the story can stay focused on Phyllis and Billy (a couple of newbies I will add) and their budding fuck story.

 

I have waited a year for Jack to get justice and a lifetime to see him really and truly knock Victor on his ass and he's not even part of the story. Wow. Pratt and JFP, your capacity to piss off loyal viewers is unmatched.

[bannana]

And who was it that said Jack won't be charged cause everything he did was while he was kidnapped?  Was that Dylan?  It was a:  Du-uh, moment.

 

Jack could have gone to Michael immediately to find out what would happen to him.  But the fact is, it was actually Phyllis that stopped him, so I guess we have to overlook that.  I am so glad the real Stafford is not portraying Phyllis through this storyline, she would be insufferable.

[miamama]

And who was it that said Jack won't be charged cause everything he did was while he was kidnapped? Was that Dylan? It was a: Du-uh, moment.

Jack could have gone to Michael immediately to find out what would happen to him. But the fact is, it was actually Phyllis that stopped him, so I guess we have to overlook that. I am so glad the real Stafford is not portraying Phyllis through this storyline, she would be insufferable.

Did he? I haven't watched (just saw recap). Cripes. One throwaway line erases a year of agony. Pratt's contempt for our intelligence....

 

Edited because stupid autocorrect.

Edited March 1, 2016 by miamama

[Foghorn Leghorn]

OK so either Victor dies for real or we are in for an Ebenezer Scrooge makeover!

[bannana]

Yes, a lot of what you (and we) have been enraged about got addressed today.  I also liked Abby being outraged at Pricktor using Kelly, which led to her death, and the realization that Ben will be horrified to hear the real story.  And also Abby being horrified that Pricktor did this to her Uncle Jack.  

 

I am really pissed about Jack not being there, but also I wanted to see Dummer's reaction!  How will she forgive him now?

 

OK so either Victor dies for real or we are in for an Ebenezer Scrooge makeover!

I fear this is exactly what is going to happen, or the epilepsy returns.  And paper snowflakes.

 

Never would Pricktor admit what he did was wrong.  We could list all of his egregious actions from the past and he never felt bad about any of them.

 

Oh and Nick will get to be extra pissed at Pricktor because he also caused the kidnapping of his (not his) son Christian.  And he hid the paternity of Christian from him.

 

People do ostracize parents, siblings, etc for much lesser offenses than what Pricktor has done.

 

Jack and Phyllis, and even Ben, could go after him in a civil suit too.

[RedRockRosie]

So Jack was offscreen working on his "defence" with Michael while HIS STORY HITS ITS LONG-AWAITED RESOLUTION???? Watch. He'll come back and say "all good. Michael called the State Dept" or some such shit and "I'm in the clear." Yup. ONE YEAR of being forced to keep this a secret under threat of jail, and Pratt will pull some more shit out of his hack ass so that the story can stay focused on Phyllis and Billy (a couple of newbies I will add) and their budding fuck story.

 

I have waited a year for Jack to get justice and a lifetime to see him really and truly knock Victor on his ass and he's not even part of the story. Wow. Pratt and JFP, your capacity to piss off loyal viewers is unmatched.

 

They make me furiously violently stabby. I will always be Team Jack and there has been absolutely no payoff for his (and OUR) suffering...only more shitpiling on Jack.

I really really hate HATE HATE  Pratt & JFP.

[bannana]

Just remembered some other stuff from today:

 

Drinki tells Adam she cannot follow through with teaming up with him. (These alliances change so swiftly I am getting dizzy.)  It doesn't matter though because Adam  quit after Pricktor's tongue lashing.  And while Pricktoria is furious with Daddykins, she also lashes out at Adam and saying he was in on it.

 

Christine is indeed on and being a bitch, which pisses off Sharon at the Williams family dinner.  Dylan was never too bright but he is siding with Christine instead of just shutting up and Sharon stomps out of the GCAC and right into Crimson Lights (who owns that place now?) where Sage invites her into the meeting they are having with their potential Baby Mama.  Sharon looks stunned by the adoption news.  Wait till she eventually finds out Sully is a Newman.  I guess where they are going is Sharon is at odds with Dullen, and then when she learns the truth about Sully, she will probably try to hide it and he will out it, and she will blame him.  Having been on the other side of that equation re Faith, she is going to be really messed up.

 

Marissa and Noah boinked.  Adam and Chelz boinked, too.  Abby told Ben he is a fabulous daddy, even though he is isn't.  I guess Max inherited his Aunt Kelly's mental illness, seems they both have psychopathic tendencies.

 

We also didn't see Ashley's reaction, which should be really good too.  She was always suspicious during the Farco storyline, she is going to be pissed!

[miamama]

They make me furiously violently stabby. I will always be Team Jack and there has been absolutely no payoff for his (and OUR) suffering...only more shitpiling on Jack.

I really really hate HATE HATE  Pratt & JFP.

I feel your pain. I'm seething. I want to quit watching but I also want to see Victor outed. It's so fucking maddening. I keep telling myself it's just a show, a really really really bad show...(clicking my heels together).

 

We also didn't see Ashley's reaction, which should be really good too.  She was always suspicious during the Farco storyline, she is going to be pissed!

 

Oh, she knows. Jack told her awhile ago and she was sort of upset but still polite to Victor later. Such bullshit. But at least she felt bad for Jack and didn't yell at him like Billy did.

[bannana]

What? Ashley knows?  Oh, wow.  So Jack told Ashley but not Billy?  This whole thing is nuts.  

[miamama]

What? Ashley knows?  Oh, wow.  So Jack told Ashley but not Billy?  This whole thing is nuts.  

Yeah and that point Phyllis didn't really care that he told Ashley. But she was pissed he was going public. Jack told Ashley just before he told Michael and planned a press conference. He planned the press conference because Victor was going to SUE Jabot because Phyllis and Billy restarted Paragon (which Victor's son initially launched) on Newman (at no point does any of this make sense). So Jack wanted to cut him off at the knees. Instead he swallowed humiliation and a $500-million payout because, wait for it, Phyllis asked him to or threatened to be done with him. Ashley agreed with Phyllis in principle because she didn't want Jack to go to jail. Back then they all -- Michael the lawyer included -- believed Jack was likely going to be extradited etc.

 

And at no point, even though Billy caused this fuck up with the lawsuit, did Jack throw all of it in his face. He just told Ashley. RME.

Edited March 1, 2016 by miamama

[bannana]

Thank you miamama for trying to make sense out of this for me.  So based on that, what is really stupid now is that Billy doesn't yet know that the reason Jack caved is because of all of this, and yet Billy is attacking Jack for not having the balls to go after Pricktor.  Wowza.

 

I have been tuning in on and off and all of these various "biz" alliances have mad no sense to me.  Like this whole Luca mess.  It's like the writers have a roulette wheel in the writing room just to mix up the story in a nonsensical way.

 

Now one thing about Jack, I agree, that Jack should want revenge.  But I am a little okay with him wanting to live a happy and peaceful life after his ordeal.  These people have money and no one has any fun.  I would be vacationing and living it up but they are all scheming against each other, and the end game makes no sense.  

[miamama]

I watched it and at least it was always what Victor did to "Jack and Phyllis" or "Jack and me" etc instead of JUST PHYLLIS. But of course he was GLARINGLY ABSENT.

 

And I fear Victor's downfall will be entirely about Victor. Jack got no victory, no big come back story, no opportunity to out him. He's just the sad little victim.

 

Bannana:I don't mind Jack not wanting revenge. My issue is let him play it out. Jack Abbott is insane re: Victor and wanting to best him. He always has been. And if he gets to a point where he decides Victor is fucking nuts and he wants nothing to do with him, good. But at least let him get justice then. Not revenge but some acknowledgement of what's happened to him. Instead the show kept coming up with more and more stupid reasons to put off this comeuppance. And now it's no longer about Jack. It's about Phyllis and Billy and their thing, whatever it is. And honestly, Phyllis was all happy today??? Huh? She wanted to have a meal with Marisa and Noah to celebrate? Who the fuck WRITES THIS SHIT? Her husband is working on his defence to avoid jail and she wants to partay. GMAFB. She has no desire to go see him and her bestie Michael to make sure everything is okay? To give him an update that she's gone to the cops? And she wouldn't go WITH MICHAEL AND JACK? I'm stunned they wrote Jack out of this episode. It was so bad I almost wonder if PB was sick and it was a last-minute write out. That's how glaring it was. Victor Newman gets smacked down for crimes against Jack Abbott and Jack isn't even in the episode. WTF???

 

I'm afraid tomorrow's show is a standalone Victor episode based on the preview.

 

ETA: lol, Nikki's alliance with Adam BTW? It's over. I swear Pratt writes shit so that he can use it in a promo for ONE WEEK and then drops it.

Edited March 1, 2016 by miamama

[jewel21]

I gotta give EB props, he sold that hospital scene. We actually saw some genuine emotion and tears in Victor's eyes. Even if it's only because Victor is an asshat and the walls are closing in around him. I love how Nikki didn't give two fucks about him and was sure he was faking it. It was marvelous.

[spinxella]

Typical Jill Ferret Phelps. I knew she would find a way to make Jason Thompson the center of Jack's story while Jack himself is shuffled off-screen.

 

Jack got kidnapped, tortured, beaten, raped, human trafficked, shot, and replaced by a doppelgänger. But somehow the story is all about Patrick Drake being Phyllis's hero because Jack is too much of a coward to avenge his wife. All of this will justify their stupid little affair.

 

I see you Chuckles Pratt.

 

After 20 years of losing to Victor, Jack doesn't get the honor of bringing him down. Not a chance. Pratt gives that privilege to Patrick Drake, nuPhyllis, Dummer, Luca Smarmalot, and Hacker Potter. People I could care less about or flat out HATE.

[bannana]

After 20 years of losing to Victor, Jack doesn't get the honor of bringing him down. Not a chance. Pratt gives that privilege to Patrick Drake, nuPhyllis, Dummer, Luca Smarmalot, and Hacker Potter. People I could care less about or flat out HATE.

Yes, I am so confused about why Luca even is.  He's the guy with the evidence?  WTF?  And I liked how this important evidence was passed around from person to person with no thought of making a back up.

[Artsda]

Really heavy Newman day.

 

Victoria's really going to accuse and point fingers at people for covering for Victor? She's covered for him for years! She covered for his shooting Jack. 

 

Victor's accusing Jack and blaming Jack for unleashing Gabriel Bingham? Is Victor going insane? Are they going to excuse this with some brain tumor or multiple personality? He's acting like Gabriel's not Adam and Adam had nothing to do with anything.

 

LOL at Nikki not caring and thinking Victor was faking his collapse.

 

When Sharon's the sane one in the adoption conversation, Nick should realize how insane this adoption is. And that pregnant teenager thinks Nick and Sharon are the ones with the strong connection and they know it too. 

 

Phyllis really thought it was her place to go to the hospital? 

 

Tomorrow looks Victor centric.

Edited March 1, 2016 by Artsda

[bannana]

HAHAHAHA!!!!!  Okay, so Pricktor's choices were all done to save his family, and if he hadn't kidnapped, tortured, raped and caused dozens of deaths, his wife would be a homeless drunk, Abby would be a hooker, Pricktoria would be an abused child who turns into damaged self destructive adult, Nick would be a power hungry narcissistic Dick, and Adam would be a dead farmer.

 

I honestly only half watched, but there is so UCG there.  Dummer did at least point out to him that he never said he was sorry.  And also that he blamed Phyllis for her own rape.  

[miamama]

HAHAHAHA!!!!!

 

 

wow.

 

Bannana: Was it a Victor standalone? With Newmans only? 

[valleycliffe]

HAHAHAHA!!!!!  Okay, so Pricktor's choices were all done to save his family, and if he hadn't kidnapped, tortured, raped and caused dozens of deaths, his wife would be a homeless drunk, Abby would be a hooker, Pricktoria would be an abused child who turns into damaged self destructive adult, Nick would be a power hungry narcissistic Dick, and Adam would be a dead farmer.

 

I honestly only half watched, but there is so UCG there.  Dummer did at least point out to him that he never said he was sorry.  And also that he blamed Phyllis for her own rape.

in other words, just another typical day in prictorland?

 

oh, and blaming phyl is nothing new, he ALWAYS blames his victims, ALWAYS.

 

he has a very low opinion of his wife and kids, although his description of nick except for being power hungry (oh wait! just power hungry when it comes to sharon) is perfect...:D

[TwistedSoul7]

HAHAHAHA!!!!!  Okay, so Pricktor's choices were all done to save his family, and if he hadn't kidnapped, tortured, raped and caused dozens of deaths, his wife would be a homeless drunk, Abby would be a hooker, Pricktoria would be an abused child who turns into damaged self destructive adult, Nick would be a power hungry narcissistic Dick, and Adam would be a dead farmer.

 

Victor would. 

 

The kicker was Summer forgiving him.

 

WHAT?! 

[PatsyandEddie]

IKR??!! Could this girl be any more fucking dumb? Your mother was being sexually assaulted for months and Victor had hoped she'd figure it out? JFC!! I hope Phyllis disowns this idiot!

[bannana]

wow.

 

Bannana: Was it a Victor standalone? With Newmans only? 

Oh no, his road less travelled has Ben, Luca, Paul, Dullen in a cop uniform, Sharon as a rich bitch, and more.  I am going to go watch the full ep now. 

 

And yes, Dummer at the end, even though she calls him out in the most gentlest of ways for killing her husband and raping her mother, feels sorry for him and tells the other Newmans that he has done so much for them and now they must do for him.  Sigh.

[Artsda]

I wish they would have showed Summer finding out instead of after the fact. She's so stupid and loyal to Victor, she's still going to probably going to excuse him. She's shocked that Victor would do that her mother? He gaslit Noah's mother, what makes her mother a special snowflake?

 

She's still an idiot who thinks Victor is the reason Phyllis is not in a coma still, that he was her champion? He didn't do that for Phyllis. He did it to break up Sharon & Nick!  Then she's going to get attitude with the rest of them because poor Grandpa needs them? Wow, she cares more for Victor than her own mother.

 

Interesting life there Victor dreamed up of them without him. Nick's ruthless, got 3 ex-wives and is now married to Lily.

 

Adam never met him but knows his family exists. He and Chelsea are farmers who need money. Chelsea wants him to be more like Nick, screwing over family and Adam's a good guy (until Billy murder's him).

 

Sharon's married to Jack and he's got a big house, lots of money. So Jack is successful without Victor is implied but he's not seen.

 

Nikki of course is a homeless begging drunk, because she can't survive without him. The kids couldn't love Nikki without him. Nikki tells Paul that she wants Victor back and wants to tell him she's sorry.  Because it has to be her fault he left. 

 

Billy is President of Jabot and gun totting murderer. Killing Adam for no reason at all.

 

Abby's a prostitute, Ashley abandoned her & ran out of town without Victor.

 

Phyllis would be in a coma then dead. 

 

VIcky's drinks daily, got daddy abandonment issues, miserable married to Billy and cheating around.

 

I loved the present day family scene  with Adam laughing at Victor faking it, Nick and Adam both shocked at Victoria for actually turning on Victor. Nick calling her own on covering for him before. Abby defending Adam to Vicky.  I hope they don't listen to idiot Summer.

Edited March 1, 2016 by Artsda

[miamama]

IKR??!! Could this girl be any more fucking dumb? Your mother was being sexually assaulted for months and Victor had hoped she'd figure it out? JFC!! I hope Phyllis disowns this idiot!

She won't. Everyone coddles Summer. And also Victor is the reason Austin and Courtney (huzzband and bestie) are dead. But it's all good. Remember how Summer RIPPED into Jack for things like dating 6 months after Phyllis went into a coma, or getting Phyllis mental help after she woke from the coma and was acting like lunatic? But she's sad for gwampa.

 

I can't watch this shit today. it's unbelievable. So Billy is CEO of Jabot in Victor's fantasy. Where the fuck is Jack. Is PB dead? Someone needs to tell Phelps and Pratt, who clearly co-wrote this episode, that if Victor is fantasizing this, Billy would be dead in a gutter. They can't even get their crap right.

Edited March 1, 2016 by miamama

[peacheslatour]

 

Victor had hoped she'd figure it out?

To be fair, we all sat here for months going "WTF?  How can you sleep with a man and think he's really your husband when his body parts and technique are obviously different?"  Not that I want to be fair to Count Von Moldydick, but it was stupid of Phylis not to at least start giving Marco the side eye.

[miamama]

To be fair, we all sat here for months going "WTF?  How can you sleep with a man and think he's really your husband when his body parts and technique are obviously different?"  Not that I want to be fair to Count Von Moldydick, but it was stupid of Phylis not to at least start giving Marco the side eye.

This is why doppelgänger stories are so stupid. (Among other reasons.) There is no situation on god's earth that you could be fooled by a complete stranger. Apart from the physical issues (this guy had the same freckles Jack had FFS?), there are behaviours, manners, etc. that could never be replicated. Other times the show has used doppelgängers, they glossed over the fooling the sex partner part of it IMO because it's so beyond comprehension. Or they used it to blame the victim (i.e. Emily dumped Jack for not realizing Patty was pretending to be her.) But because Pratt and Phelps realized they'd missed the centuries turning and that people are no longer amused by sexual violation they decided to make it this big motivating issue for Phyllis's revenge and apparently the biggest of Victor's many crimes. And so it's NOT WORKING because it's 100% impossible. 

 

But I think where they'll go now with nuBilly taking over the show is Phyllis will realize she didn't recognize Jack because she's no longer in love with him or some such shit. She really loves Billy. Then she'll fight Vicki for him. And Jack will come for visits like John because Billy Abbott is the most important Abbott now.

 

I actually wish PB would just retire so I could fully quit this dreck.  

[bannana]

This episode was so bad, I thought it was time for a bannanacap.

 

 

Pricktor is in a jail interview room.  Dummer wearing yesterday’s clothes, so same day, comes to visit him.  She says that her mom told her what Pricktor did.  She says she doen’t believe it, and asks him to tell her if it is true.  She says that Pricktor is her hero.  She begs him to tell her it is not true.  So I guess this means she thinks Phyllis is lying. 

Prick says it is a long story.  He tells her that at her age he was already successful, and could have lived a life of fun and no responsibility.  But then he met Drinki and fell in love, and they had children, and some difficult times.  He could have walked away, he says, and Dummer asks him if he wishes he had.

 

Pricktor talks about Robert Frost’s Road Not Taken. He says it is a story about a man who tries to justify his choices, to not blame himself for the mistakes he made, by by convincing himself he took the road less travelled.  She asks him if he is doing that.  He says that when he married Drinki he was determined to do everything to protect their family.  He muses that maybe he should have taken the other road and walked away from his family.  He asks, disingenuously, whether they would have been better off without him.

 

Then we cut to that world, where poor Drinki was dumped by Pricktor and is a homeless alcoholic panhandling at Crimson Lights.  Her police officer son Dullen is there and tells her to go and refuses to give her money because she will only spend it on booze.  Sharon is dressed to the hilt, not so much classy, as RHOGC.  She offers Drinki money with contempt, and Drinki says she would never take money from her and she should go to her mansion and her rich husband.  Sharon says Drinki should go back to her old job, but then says no one would pay her to take her clothes off now.  And that is the truth because Drinki looks like a hobo.  Drinki calls her a goldigger.  Sharon says she will have Jack make an extra donation to the first responder’s fund, and that it is a shame she never got over Prick leaving her.  And tells Drinki to take a bath.  Drinki calls her a bitch.

Dick is in charge of Newman, and he has three ex-wives and Lily is his current wife.  He is a dick to Lily, and then to Drinki who comes to visit.  He says she has been drunk for 20 years, and every loser who she hung out with back then also tried to take advantage of a young Pricktoria, and Dick had to save her.  And he throws Drinki out.

 

Now we are the GCAC, where Pricktoria is.  Drinki shows up and wants money but Pricktoria says she will call security on her and throw her out.  Paul also tells Drinki to go, and she says she needs help.  She begs Paul to find Pricktor and bring him to her.  Paul says Prick is long gone.  She sobs, I should have realized what I had.  She should have been the woman he wanted.  Paul says it is over and Prick is not coming back and he is not going to save Drinki.

Back to the present, Dummer says that she never thought about what Drinki’s life would have been like without Prick.  Prick says he kept Drinki safe, and he would do anything to protect his family.  Dummer says: like what you did to my mom?  She wasn’t a threat to you, Gwampa, yet she was violated.  And humiliated.  You did that for your family? I am your family.  What you did to mom, you did to me.  Prick says:  You know when Jack was on that island enjoying the coconuts and sunsets and long walks on the beach, I was hoping she would realize she was with an imposter, but she didn’t.  Things just sort of started unraveling. 

 

Dummer: Are you saying that what happened to my mom was her fault?  You cannot sit here and tell me that my mom is responsible for what happened with Marco. Prick:  I am just trying to tell you that unforeseen events sometimes have PROBLEMATIC CONSEQUENCES!  WTF, Prick?!  Unforeseen events?
Dummer accuses him of not being sorry.  She says: what if Jack had done this to you, replaced you with some psychopath sleeping with your wife.  She says: maybe we would have been better off without you.

 

Back to the seedy side of this It’s a Wonderful Life version of the Y and R, Abby is hitting on Ben at the GCAC.  She’s a hooker.  She says she missed out on the rich daddy part.  Her father, may he rest in hell, walked out on her and her mom. Her mother, when she looked at Abby, was reminded of her loser father and abandoned her and moved to LA.  And Abby was an orphan.  I guess she is talking about Brad, but I don’t know.  The implication being that Brad died, and there was no Pricktor around to take care of her because he wasn’t in their lives?

Dummer is talking to Phyllis in a coma, and says she is going to try and get the money to save her from her dad.  And Phyllis dies.  Back to joyful GC, Prick asks Dummer, where her mom be without him.  Oh, he is one disgusting bastard.  But he wins Dummer over, and she agrees that he is the reason why Phyllis is here.  Prick says if he hadn’t taken risks to save Phyllis’ life, she wouldn’t have been able to be raped and then condemn him for it.  So see, Dummer, it all works out.  Sure, I had her raped and have probably ruined her marriage to Jack, but I saved her.  Dummer: yes you saved my mom but you had no problem putting her life at risk.  Marco could have killed her.  People did die.  My husband, Noah’s fiancée.  What about what you did to Jack, do you feel any remorse, Gwampa.  And Prick’s non-answer:  Do you know how many people in the world want to see me and my company destroyed, and my family hurt?  I get threats all the time, and I take care of them quietly, no fuss no muss, I am a great guy, everything I do is to protect my family.  Dummer says he has hurt his own kids, and  wonders whether their lives be better or worse without him.

 

Back to GCAC, and now Pricktoria is hitting on Ben.  Billy is appalled at his wife’s behavior.  He tells her to grow up.  Your daddy abandoned you, get over it.  She’s also apparently got a drinking problem along with a promiscuity problem.  She goes to the top of the tower, where Luca—LUCA FFS—is playing piano and she hits on him.  They start getting steamy and kiss, and Billy walks in on them.  Luca tries to back away, but Billy pulls a gun on Luca.

Back to the now, Dummer says that Prick has had it in for Billy since the beginning, and Prick says Billy is not good enough for Pricktoria.  Dummer:  you say that Billy and Pricktoria would blow up without your meddling, so technically you are what is holding them together.  OF FFS!  Now Prick gets credit for keeping Billy and Vic together.  He finds this amusing.  Prick says he cannot stand Billy blah blah.  Prick:  Family means everything to me, I will do everything to protect my family.  It comes from a deep hurt within me, I grew up without a family.  Puke.

 

Back to the alternate future, Farmer Adam and Farmer’s wife Chelz (in nice farmer blue shirts) show up at Dick’s office to do some business re the farm in Nebraska, er, Kansas.  Dick says that Prick has been out of his life for a long time, which is the way he wants it.  Farmer Adam says he has never met his father.  Adam wants to keep the farm in the family, but Dick wants to buy it.  Chelz likes the price he is offering, but Adam says he wants a partnership, not to sell it.  Dick says he wants to help Adam.  Adam says he wants to take advantage of them.  Looks like Adam turned out to be a nice guy, a family man, without Pricktor’s influence, but Chelz is not impressed.  She wants to sell.   She wants Adam to become like Dick.  Oops.  He walks away.  At the Top of the Alternate Tower, Billy has the gun pointed on Luca, and he and Pricktoria argue about his gambling and her drinking.  Adam walks in and tries to talk Billy down.  Pricktoria says, think about Delia.  So I guess Delia gets to live in a Prick-free world.  Adam encourages Billy to think about what Delia’s life would be like without her daddy, and Billy shoots Adam dead.

 

Dummer says she knows that Prick loves them, but he can go to extremes(!), and that his family is not thanking him right now for taking the road less travelled.  Prick:  That breaks my heart.  But that is the AMBIVALENCE OF BEING A PARENT(!).  Sometimes your children get angry with you for the choices you make, but I know they are better off for the choices I have made for them.

 

Just as in the somewhat real GC, Chelz goes into annoying hysterics when she sees that Adam has been shot.  Billy blames his slut wife Pricktoria for him shooting Adam, as he is being arrested by Paul. 

Prick says he never expected Pricktoria to turn against him, of all his children, she is the most like him.  She is the most loyal, and yet she betrayed him.   Dummer: It broke her heart because she loves you, we all do.  You are like this warrior king who slays dragons for us.  This time you went a little too far, like leaving a wake of dead and damaged people (okay that is what I heard).  Summer says he has never admitted what he did or said that he is sorry, and she says he never will.  And walks out.  And Prick cries, tears actually fall out of his eyeballs.

 

At the Top of the Tower today, Adam shows up and is with the rest of the Newmans.  He’s amused that Prick faked his medical emergency and impressed that Pricktoria turned him in.  She says that it was easy to turn him in.  What dad did was terrible, and he just tried to laugh it off, he accused me and Billy of sabotaging him, he accused the Abbots of smearing him. He painted himself as the victim and expected the ever loyal idiot daughter to cover for him, just like he covered for Adam.  Abby says what Adam did was an accident.  What Prick did was planned and manipulated and unforgivable.  Drinki is proud of Pricktoria.

Dummer, instead of being smug and condescending with Prick, shows up and is that way with the Newmans and says they got what they wanted.  He did not apologize and gave no answers but she realized that he has done so much for them to make their lives better.  Dummer says she is not defending him but she listened to him and wants them to listen to him, and they will see that they need him as much as he needs them.  (Vomit.)

 

Previews:  Swiss miss, Kevin, Mariah with Billy, who says there is our new genious and Kevin says Hell no.  Hillary, accusing Ashley of being preoccupied with her ex husband’s problems, and Ash telling her to butt out; Jack asking Christine if he is going to prison for this.

To be fair, we all sat here for months going "WTF?  How can you sleep with a man and think he's really your husband when his body parts and technique are obviously different?"  Not that I want to be fair to Count Von Moldydick, but it was stupid of Phylis not to at least start giving Marco the side eye.

True, and it's because they are focussing on what they are calling the violation of Phyllis, rather than all of the other crimes committed.

 

More recap:  I forgot about Esther being at the GCAC all dolled up and Billy asks her if she has heard from his mother and she says no, isn't that wonderful.  And Paul congratulates Billy on being named President and CEO of Jabot, and Billy says he deserves it.

 

No Jack in this episode except that he he is married to RHOGC Sharon.  And he is rich and lives in a mansion.

[miamama]

Thanks for doing that Bannana, because there is no way in hell I was going to watch this episode. Holy FUCK. I thought when I first heard you guys talking about this episode that maybe this was Victor's delusions playing out. But the writers are endorsing this perspective????!!!! This is apparently some attempt to create sympathy for Victor five minutes after he's finally outed. Is Pratt out of his fucking mind? I can't believe I asked that.

 

And Billy has replaced Jack. I'm so glad that Peter Bergman gave 26 years of his best years to this show, helped keep it number one, provided the juice for the biggest rivalry on it, carried at times single handedly the Abbott story lines, played whatever shit was handed to him without complaint, worked with ERIC BRAEDEN for all that time, so that Jason Thompson could come in and replace him after a few weeks.

 

And why is it that there are so many fucking Newmans, but JT has to push PB to the sidelines? Why can't two Abbott males share big story -- they managed it when BM was on the show.

 

The biggest question is why the fuck do I care. I need to quit this crap for good this time. It gets worse and worse each year. 

Edited March 2, 2016 by miamama

[LeftPhalange]

Bannana, Thanks for writing this recap. I'm going to buy Google's Android division on ebay and give it to you.

 

I don't even know if I can watch this. Like...is this real life?

[jewel21]

 Not that I want to be fair to Count Von Moldydick

I haven't watched yet and probably won't be able to until the weekend but this made me laugh. Best. Name. Ever.

[spinxella]

 

Without Victor, Nikki is a drunk homeless hobo who begs people for spare change. Even Mall Cop Dylan is ashamed to be seen with her in public.

 

She's a slut who slept with every man in town and let them molest her daughter too. Nick had to fight off those pedophiles even though he & Victoria were just kids.

 

That's why Nick thinks she's a loser, Loser, LOSER! He hates turning around and seeing another Loser with her hand out. Get lost, Nikki! You get Nothing. NOTHING.

 

 

Without Victor, Abby is a Hooker who presses flesh for a living. She's a slut too.

 

Ashley dumped her ass and ran away to LA. That's why Abby is an orphan.

 

 

Sharon is a gold-digging bitch who is married to the invisible Jack Abbott.

 

Panhandlers annoy her. She told that drunk dirty Nikki to take a bath and get a job!

 

 

Victoria is a drunk slut who is messing around with Luca Santori.

 

Luca can play piano and the Newman Rooftop Bar is now Santori's Bar.

 

 

Nick is a power-hungry slut and Lily Winters is Wife #4.

 

He pays his 3 ex-wives alimony and considers it charity.

 

 

Patrick Drake murdered Adam Wilson who was a Good Samaritan Farmer from Kansas. You can tell he's a Farmer because he wears all denim. RIP.

 

Patrick blamed his cheating wife, "This is your fault. You slut!"

 

 

Victor & Dummer discussed Robert Frost and his poem The Road Not Taken. They also talked about what it means to be a Newman. You see, Newmans are strong, loyal, and always stick together!

 

 "We all love you, Gwampa! And I know that you love us. You're like this Warrior King who slays Dragons for us. It's just this time, you went a little bit too far."

 

After gently scolding her Gwampa, Dummer passed along what she had learned today to the rest of the Newman clan.

 

"I came away realizing something. How much he's done for us and how much he's helped make our lives better. I listened to him! All I'm asking you guys to do is just listen to him and realize that He needs us just as much as we need him!"

 

Here endeth the lesson.

[valleycliffe]

i'm going to fill out the cbs feedback form and complain LOUDLY about the misogynistic bullshit show that aired today.

 

FOAD pratt.

 

http://www.cbs.com/feedback/

 

it was NOT enjoyable, it DID NOT make me want to root for prictor, IT ONLY MADE ME MAD.

[miamama]

I have to say, as a self respecting woman I don't think I can watch this show any more.

Spinx's awesome screen grabs and the Bannanacap showed me enough. Pratt has reached new depths of low. A violent, abusive, very likely mentally ill man is being presented as the only reason every woman in his life isn't a homeless drunk or a slut (did the show actually USE that word???).

Wow.

[TwistedSoul7]

Yes it did. Billy yelled that Victoria was a "Slut!" as he was being walked out in handcuffs because, you see, he did everything for her and she was ungrateful.

[peacheslatour]

If we were wondering what Pratt thinks of women (NOT) now we know.

 

Drinki: Hobo and SLUT

Abby: Hooker and SLUT

Sharon: Gold digger and SLUT

Lily: Gold digger and SLUT

Ashley: Child abandoner and SLUT

Victoria: SLUTTY SLUT,SLUT, SLUT!

 

I do declare, Chucky has probably been rejected by every woman he ever asked for a date.  And do you know why?  Because they were all SLUTS!!

[Desperately Random]

Just sent my complaint to CBS. I didn't watch the show but thanks to bannana's awesome recap and spinxella's screen grabs, I know enough. That was an insult to the viewers and especially to us wimmin folk who apparently are nothing but sluts/gold diggers without a man in our lives.

I did watch yesterday's US show because I wanted to see the Newmans finally turn on Victor. It was good to see the old Turd watch as everyone looked at him with contempt. It was really odd that Jack wasn't there though. I hope when he does show up, that all the Newmans bow their heads in shame for even being associated with the name Newman.

Keebler Billy is just so wrong for the part. I did watch his first day and thought he did well but yesterday's show he was like someone who has taken too much Nyquil. Very low key and like he was in need of a nap. This guy may be a good actor but he seems to be really miscast in this role.

Edited March 2, 2016 by Desperately Random

[bannana]

Half watched today.  Hillary is a complete bitch to Ashley and forces her step down and put Hillary in charge.  I just gotta say, I have never liked Hillary and I loved it when Lily would snipe at her constantly.  Hope we get some more of that.

 

Pricktor lied and no one died on the ship.  He paid everyone to hide and he put out false stories about the deaths.  So no extradition there.  And Christine figures the Kelly killing, if it was Jack, is self defense.  At least Phyllis says out loud that the only reason other than the fear of extradition that Jack kept quiet, was for Phyllis.  But Phyllis thinks Christine is going to mess up the case against Prick and has it out with her, I think in front of the media.  Awesome.

 

Abby tells Ben about Kelly and he is pissed at everyone and takes it out on his psychopathic kid, which is going to ensure that Damien is just around the corner.

 

Billy and Vic--she is blaming herself for betraying her father and he is telling her now she can run Newman the way it should be run, with no threat from Jabot.  She's buying it.

 

There was also some Crimson Lights stuff re Passkey and that crew but I missed it.

[peacheslatour]

 

Abby tells Ben about Kelly and he is pissed at everyone and takes it out on his psychopathic kid, which is going to ensure that Damien is just around the corner.

Awesome.

[C76]

I have to do more reading, but thus far folks' reactions are making me glad I gave up on yesterday's episode and took a nap.

 

I mean really. All the women in GC are a disaster without Victor?

 

*yaaaawn* I just remembered I need to catch up on my sleep!

 

Also, the current plot makes me wonder if Marco will be able to make a comeback. I know Victor's goons ruined his ear or the side of his face. But if he took a trip to Colombia, you never know. I hear they have some wicked plastic surgeons. ;)

[miamama]

Victor arranged for those thugs to get off the boat and "play" dead? What the fuck? He knew Jack was going to get out of his chains, pull an old Boy Scout trick, start a fire that would cause the entire ship to explode -- which we SAW on screen? And Cricket just found out from some phone call? What happened, the undead thugs suddenly felt like being honest? Does Pratt give any thought to what he's writing? He had no plan for this story ever? He just rubbed his hands together and said TWO JACKS and off they went.

 

And Ashley would let herself be blackmailed? Why? What is her motivation from hiding an illness from her family? Come the fuck on. 

 

Has this show ever been this bad? I can't recall a time. Pratt has left MAB in the dust. 

 

And Vicki is blaming herself? For what? I get that she's feeling fucked up but she should be horrified at what her father did, not that she turned him in. He was going to get caught. The disc exists. All she did was not lie for Victor.

 

And that shit actor Stitch was angry at Jack? Oh fuck off with the anger at Jack, show. (And I'm sure Jack apologized profusely, ugh). Kelly tortured him FFS. Stitch already yelled at Jack when he thought Kelly had committed suicide. Enough already. 

 

I can't do it. I can't watch this shit.

[miamama]

Oh, was thinking in reference to Summer's "You are a warrior king who slays dragons for us." When, exactly, has Victor actually protected his family? Ever? He is the only source of suffering for them, that I've seen. But he has not ever had to fight FOR THEM.

 

And I've watched for 35 years.

[PatsyandEddie]

I actually burst out laughing, rolling my eyes when Dummer said that. Then I was nauseated. 

[devonshiredeb]

I just want to thank all my neighbors to the North for letting me know about the (US) Wednesday show.  The idea of watching Dummer and Victor in that crazy Pratt filled crapfest filled my head with rage.  That you all saved me from having to possible break my television in anger is worth everything to me.

 

So THANK YOU!!!  I appreciate all of you - as does my husband (no broken TV!)

[PatsyandEddie]

I just wish we had someone to warn us ahead of time! LOL

[NinjaPenguins]

What is life?

Also, I believe "slaying dragons" is a euphemism for masturbating.

[boes]

What is life?

Also, I believe "slaying dragons" is a euphemism for masturbating.

 

Hmmmm...........my memories of Puff the Magic Dragon have just gone up in....smoke...(that MIGHT help me with this Show, come to think of it.....)

 

Victor's magic dragon was limp constantly

And moldered in a deathlike grip so odiferous - ally

Little Dummer Newman loved unnaturally

And gave him tongue baths and a longing glance, her wuvly gwampaw V

Edited March 3, 2016 by boes