S02.E10: Graduation

[formerlyfreedom]

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Sam and fam are tilted.

[bilgistic]

I continue to love this show. Max is a beast, and is a painful reminder of how terrible I was as a teenage girl to my single mother.

I keep saying it: this show resonates with me so much because I had a single mother, two younger sisters and a deadbeat dad. Most of the time, everyone is miserable and fighting. Once in a rare while, you realize you love each other, not because you have to, but because you've survived together.

This show is far from perfect, but does a tremendous job illustrating the complex dynamics of the single-mother-helmed, all-female family.

[chocolatine]

21 minutes ago, bilgistic said:

I continue to love this show. Max is a beast, and is a painful reminder of how terrible I was as a teenage girl to my single mother.

Max simultaneously enraged me with her self-centeredness, and broke my heart with her anticipation to see her dad (who of course wasn't going to show up). I loved that all of Sam's friends and her brother jumped in to offer to take Max to her rehearsal.

As sweet as this episode was, I'm kinda dreading what's going to become of Max now that she's graduated high school. Sam seems to have done nothing to prepare her for adulthood. IIRC, there was a scene last season where a guidance counselor told Sam and Max that Max wouldn't get into any college, but then they never once talked about an alternative career path for her. It doesn't make sense to me that Sam, who's worked since childhood and single-handedly supports her daughters, mother, and ex-husband, wouldn't have instilled a better work ethic and career focus in her children.

[mammaM]

8 hours ago, chocolatine said:

 

As sweet as this episode was, I'm kinda dreading what's going to become of Max now that she's graduated high school. Sam seems to have done nothing to prepare her for adulthood. IIRC, there was a scene last season where a guidance counselor told Sam and Max that Max wouldn't get into any college, but then they never once talked about an alternative career path for her. It doesn't make sense to me that Sam, who's worked since childhood and single-handedly supports her daughters, mother, and ex-husband, wouldn't have instilled a better work ethic and career focus in her children.

It kind of makes sense. I've known people who have worked hard their whole lives, no help from anyone, and don't want their children to struggle the way they did, so end up going to the other extreme

[scrb]

Someone alluded to the daughters eventually inheriting Sams money so maybe she has a lot put aside.

After all she's been supporting her ex (one of her exes, because the guy who wasn't coming seems much older than the other ex?).  And her former father in law suggested she should continue to support his son after she's legally obligated.

Isn't the middle daughter going to some private school where they have some unconventional teachers?

So Sam's struggles with her family, including the extended family, may be more about rich people's problems.  She works hard at being a working actor and single mother but they have a modest but pretty comfortable lifestyle so she could have saved a lot of money over the years.  Sam certainly doesn't seem too worried that her daughter just graduated from high school and has no plans thereafter.  A little dance performance, which seems like one of those precious scenes that Louis CK throws in when he doesn't know how else to wrap up an episode, is suppose to cheer her up so much?

Maybe if they had had more struggles with money, the two older daughters wouldn't be such entitled monsters.

[Blakeston]

I think Sam has a lot of money. She was talking to that plastic surgeon about a $50,000 facelift and a $40,000 necklift like it was pocket change. And her ex-husband told Max that Sam was so loaded that she didn't need to work at all. He's enough of a jerk to lie about something like that, but I don't think he was lying.

Also, having a home like that in LA, which includes the mother's guest house, would cost a fortune.

I should have felt bad for Max when the father didn't show up, but to be honest, I didn't. The way that she cries is just. so. annoying. That probably makes me a terrible person, but I can live with that.

I still find it truly odd that Sam is so tough with the adults in her life, and calls everyone on their shit, and then becomes the most passive person in the world when she's around her kids. I know a lot of parents out there who let their kids get away with murder. But how the hell could someone listen to their daughter say, "I want a big graduation party, with a keg of beer, and I don't want you to be there, because it's not about you!" and not go ballistic?

It would be interesting if the show explored why Sam is such a wimp as a parent, but they really haven't - other than to show that her own mother is cold and awful. I guess she's trying to be the opposite of her mother.

Edited November 17, 2017 by Blakeston

[Liamsmom617]

11 hours ago, bilgistic said:

I continue to love this show. Max is a beast, and is a painful reminder of how terrible I was as a teenage girl to my single mother.

I keep saying it: this show resonates with me so much because I had a single mother, two younger sisters and a deadbeat dad. Most of the time, everyone is miserable and fighting. Once in a rare while, you realize you love each other, not because you have to, but because you've survived together.

This show is far from perfect, but does a tremendous job illustrating the complex dynamics of the single-mother-helmed, all-female family.

 Thank you for this post! It’s giving me life. ;) I am a single Mom of 3, and sometimes this show mirrors my (and my kids’) own struggles all too closely. It’s nice to hear that, at least now, you appreciate your Mom and what she was up against. (If it makes you feel better, most teenage girls are horrible to their Moms; I was, and we were a nuclear family with my Dad in the home, etc.) 

[QQQQ]

I was relieved Sam didn't cave on supplying a keg but did she really think she'd be off the hook (legally speaking) if a teen got into a car accident after drinking at her house?

 

After Sam got off the phone with her ex and had her tantrum in the laundry room, I was worried she was going to take the blame for him not coming ("we had a fight" or "I told him this was my day" etc) in a misguided effort to spare Max from the pain and embarrassment that is her father. 

 

The new One Day At A Time had a similar season ending (shitty father flakes out at big ceremony, support of single mother/grandmother/sibling).

[pasdetrois]

The little one can dance.

I also have the impression that Sam has money, enough to live well in L.A.  I'm craving her huge bedroom and guest house.

The look on Frankie's face when she intuited that the phone call was to announce that dad wasn't coming - old beyond her tender years.

I never lived in nor do I now live in an all-female family. But I really relate to Sam's little family community. As one ages, and long-time friends and family move away or pass, it's really important to have a small close-knit unit of friends who get you,.

[chocolatine]

3 hours ago, scrb said:

Someone alluded to the daughters eventually inheriting Sams money so maybe she has a lot put aside.

After all she's been supporting her ex (one of her exes, because the guy who wasn't coming seems much older than the other ex?).  And her former father in law suggested she should continue to support his son after she's legally obligated.

It's just one ex. He's flaked on all three girls before, and when his composer father came to town a few episodes ago he wanted to show off his three granddaughters in front of an audience.

I know Sam has a lot of money but does any wealthy parent want their children to be directionless slackers who squander the money that the parent has worked so hard to earn? Max is so naive and susceptible to bad influence - the 35-year-old guy she dated, her friends who drink and have sex, etc. - giving her unlimited free time and funds is surely a recipe for disaster. She of all the daughters needed a firmer parenting style.

[possibilities]

Sam hates her mother and is constantly angry at her, so maybe that's why she puts up with how her daughters behave. To her, it's normal.

I wonder why Phil hates her son, but clings to Sam. Sam seems to show no solidarity with him, so that's a really weird and somewhat disturbing dynamic, also.

[mammaM]

On 11/17/2017 at 11:01 AM, Liamsmom617 said:

 Thank you for this post! It’s giving me life. ;) I am a single Mom of 3, and sometimes this show mirrors my (and my kids’) own struggles all too closely. It’s nice to hear that, at least now, you appreciate your Mom and what she was up against. (If it makes you feel better, most teenage girls are horrible to their Moms; I was, and we were a nuclear family with my Dad in the home, etc.) 

Hang in there, it does get better. I am not a single mom, only one daughter in her 20's and we get along wonderfully.....now. I can remember when she was around 16, I would sob to myself at the end of the day at what a horrible mother I was because I couldn't stand my daughter and this was after she finished yelling how much she hated me. Somehow, she (we) grew up and realized the other person wasn't so bad.

[panthergirl13]

I just love this show so much. The two older daughters are positively insufferable, but that's more real than what we normally see on TV. 

The scene where the dad bails just killed me. Have so been there, picking up those pieces. It's horrible and the way her friends circled the wagons left me blubbering because I did not have that proximity of people to support me when my ex was being a dick. Also the way Max deifies him is spot-on as well. I had to bite my tongue so many times that my status of non-red-meat-eater was nearly blown. When my daughter was in her 20s and started yapping about what a better parent her dad was to her that I finally said, "OK, you're an adult now. Let's review what was really going on." 

Anyway, I digress. 

Loved it.

[Liamsmom617]

On 11/18/2017 at 2:40 PM, mammaM said:

Hang in there, it does get better. I am not a single mom, only one daughter in her 20's and we get along wonderfully.....now. I can remember when she was around 16, I would sob to myself at the end of the day at what a horrible mother I was because I couldn't stand my daughter and this was after she finished yelling how much she hated me. Somehow, she (we) grew up and realized the other person wasn't so bad.

Thank you! Even on the worst days, my girls still hug and kiss me goodnight (so far). I know it will get better...it's just challenging right now. 

[Ottis]

I didn’t get the ending. No idea what it was supposed to symbolize or why Max liked it so much.

I did like the scene where everyone volunteered to take Max, and Max's reaction, which I *think* was an acknowledgement that her mom managed to surround her kids with good, caring people as they grew up and their dad was absent, and Max realized it.

Also, I know Louis C.K. and PA wanted that Mother song at the opening. And I know why Lennon write it. What does it have to do with Sam and her daughters, though? 

This show can be very real and sweet and I love that. And then there is a while ‘nother level I don’t get at all. 

Edited November 20, 2017 by Ottis

[Blissfool]

22 hours ago, Ottis said:

I didn’t get the ending. No idea what it was supposed to symbolize or why Max liked it so much.

I did like the scene where everyone volunteered to take Max, and Max's reaction, which I *think* was an acknowledgement that her mom managed to surround her kids with good, caring people as they grew up and their dad was absent, and Max realized it.

Also, I know Louis C.K. and PA wanted that Mother song at the opening. And I know why Lennon write it. What does it have to do with Sam and her daughters, though? 

This show can be very real and sweet and I love that. And then there is a while ‘nother level I don’t get at all. 

I thought max was going to stop hooting and hollering and say, "where's my real present?"

 

I like the Mother song and all, but everh time I hear it I wonder what it has to do with San and her daughters. Is it about Sam and her own mother? 

 

I really like this show. Does anyone know if the fact that FX cut ties with Louis CK makes this the last episode ever?

[txhorns79]

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I really like this show. Does anyone know if the fact that FX cut ties with Louis CK makes this the last episode ever?

As far as I know, the show is still coming back.  I think all the Louis CK thing means is that he'll no longer be associated with the show, not that it will end. 

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I still find it truly odd that Sam is so tough with the adults in her life, and calls everyone on their shit, and then becomes the most passive person in the world when she's around her kids. I know a lot of parents out there who let their kids get away with murder. But how the hell could someone listen to their daughter say, "I want a big graduation party, with a keg of beer, and I don't want you to be there, because it's not about you!" and not go ballistic?

 

When Max asked for a graduation present, after her mother had presumably paid for Max to have a party (and paid for the maid service to clean it up), I would have been perfectly fine with Sam calling Max out on her entitlement, and giving her nothing further.  The dance was cute, if not strange, but it honestly did not seem like something that would cause Max to have the reaction she did.       

[luna1122]

I assumed she loved that song and the video they were reenacting, maybe.

Max often annoys me, but I found her mostly sweet in this episode. Her requests for her party might have been over the top spoiled girl, but she asked for them with some sense of calmness and maturity, and she and Sam reached a compromise they both seemed okay with. I didn't mind the way she mentioned that Sam hadn't gotten her a gift---she approached it more or less calmly, no tantrums, just a 'it's a little weird'. I think she knew Sam had something for her and was segueing into it. What she did get, in the little box, apparently, was Marsellus Wallace's soul.

I too loved how all Sam's friends stepped up to offer to take Max, and I loved that she picked Rich, who's my fave.

Edited November 21, 2017 by luna1122