S13.E10: The Men Tell All

[JudyObscure]

As long as we're inserting recaps which  state our point of view better than we can -- I love the totally real, Nikki Star

[ladle]

On 8/1/2017 at 11:58 AM, Venee said:

btw Dean is the truth, which is why I trust him about Bryan...

Wait, what did Dean say about Bryan? 

[StatisticalOutlier]

45 minutes ago, rebel2u said:

So because I, or anyone else, is Southern, we're tainted because of what happened 150 years ago

Well, yes, the taint remains.  That's how taints work.  They take time to go away, and many of the outrages I'm thinking of happened much more recently than 150 years ago--like in my lifetime.  I think the South has come a long way, but it had a long way to come. 

You know that thing about how blacks have to be twice as good?  Maybe southerners need to be twice as good, and Lee definitely wasn't.

[JudyObscure]

Come join me at the hangin' tree, Rebel!  If we start to lose our suicidal nerve we can get Michelle Carter to text us some encouragement.

[rebel2u]

I'll meet you there, Judy Obscure; I'll be the one self-flagellating and wearing a hair shirt.   ; ) 

[JoBeth70]

8 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

As long as we're inserting recaps which  state our point of view better than we can -- I love the totally real, Nikki Star

Thanks for that referral! That may have been the best half hour of my day.

[OnceSane]

Back on topic, please.  Keep the discussion about what happened in the episode, not the history of race relations in the U.S.  Thanks.

[FamilyVan]

Quote

We can all agree that DeMario is a jerk.  And just like Rachel, most of us have experienced a DeMario at least once or twice.  That being said, I'm not really feeling sorry for Lexi.   I don't know if her story is 100% true, 100% false, or somewhere in between, but she went on the show to disparage his character and seek her 15 minutes of fame.   She wouldn't need to worry about preconceived ideas about her,  if she hadn't gone on the show to confront a man who obviously didn't give two licks about her.    That was Lexi's bad choice.

Honestly I do not see what DeMario did was so wrong.  Disrespectful and smarmy, yes.  But I do not believe he was "cheating" per se, like the way Robby was from Jo Jo's season.

 

Let's say you are DeMario and you have a chick that you are banging but you are not serious about her, right? It's never going to go anywhere with her.  Then you see auditions for Bachelor and you really like the lead and she is more your idea of GF/wife material so you sign up and get cast.  Then the chick you were banging *goes on the show to out you*!!??  I really don't know what in that GOTCHA scenario DeMario could have done differently.

[fib]

14 minutes ago, FamilyVan said:

  I really don't know what in that GOTCHA scenario DeMario could have done differently.

Say Hi Lexi, what are you doing here? Instead of, "who is this?"

His whole spiel sounded like Shaggy's "it wasnt me" song from ~2000.  He just proved himself to be someone who doesnt respect women at all - Not even the one he is chasing - enough to treat honestly.  

[hyacinth]

 I glad to see that DeMario seemed his normal blithe self at the Tell All.   (Though I agreed with Nikki Star about his shirt!)   He might be fun to watch on DWTS, if the rumors are true.   

As an aside, they should put an amateur normal DWTS-watcher  on DWTS!   It would be a great twist.   

Edited August 6, 2017 by hyacinth

[JudyObscure]

I never thought of DeMario as a "cheater."  In the Lexi episode I just thought he looked foolish and dishonest, --more comical than anything else, "blithe " describes him well and that was how I thought of him when I was defending him all over the place during the BIP shut-down..  But when he stood up during TMTA and slut-shamed Lexi on TV, by  saying she was just a side piece he basically used for booty calls.  Now that was cold.  I actually think that really was probably all Lexi was to him, but that just makes her sadder and DeMario meaner.  He could have handled that so much better, just by saying he was taken by surprise, thought they had broken up, etc.  There was absolutely no reason for him to tell the whole world that he had sex with her many times but never liked or respected her.

[SnapeCharmer]

Re: Demario

IMO, it's not about whether Lexi was his gf or some casual hookup. The point was that when confronted, he first stated he didn't know the woman at all. Within ten minutes he changed his story multiple times. Simply put, he's a liar. That shows poor character and therefore, Rachel was right to send him packing. Any woman that crosses his path should be wary. Red flags are flying all over the place with this one.

[StatisticalOutlier]

1 hour ago, JudyObscure said:

But when he stood up during TMTA and slut-shamed Lexi on TV, by  saying she was just a side piece he basically used for booty calls.  Now that was cold.  I actually think that really was probably all Lexi was to him, but that just makes her sadder and DeMario meaner.  He could have handled that so much better, just by saying he was taken by surprise, thought they had broken up, etc.  There was absolutely no reason for him to tell the whole world that he had sex with her many times but never liked or respected her.

I agree that he handled it poorly, but I'm unclear on how it's slut-shaming.  I thought slut-shaming is when someone is acting like a slut and is criticized for it.  I obviously don't know what their relationship was, but if there was just a non-meeting of the minds, if she thought they had a relationship and he thought she was a side piece, when he said he thought she was a side piece, I don't see that as slut-shaming her.  She sounds more like a victim to me.

[JudyObscure]

1 hour ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I thought slut-shaming is when someone is acting like a slut and is criticized for it. 

Well maybe I don't have it right, then.  I thought it was basically calling someone a slut whether they were acting like one or not.  I thought the term originated in high schools when a boy who didn't like, or was rejected by, a girl would call her a slut for any reason, be it the shortness of her dress or because she kissed some other boy in the back seat of his car.  I agree Lexi is a victim.  Back in my day we  said that nice guys didn't "kiss and tell."  DeMario, by telling everyone that he would call her at 5:30, was saying he was calling her for sex and she would agree. That's kissing and telling in my book and not something a gentleman does.  Sorry if that's not what slut-shaming is. 

[StatisticalOutlier]

3 minutes ago, JudyObscure said:

Well maybe I don't have it right, then.  I thought it was basically calling someone a slut whether they were acting like one or not.  I thought the term originated in high schools when a boy who didn't like, or was rejected by, a girl would call her a slut for any reason, be it the shortness of her dress or because she kissed some other boy in the back seat of his car.  I agree Lexi is a victim.  Back in my day we  said that nice guys didn't "kiss and tell."  DeMario, by telling everyone that he would call her at 5:30, was saying he was calling her for sex and she would agree. That's kissing and telling in my book and not something a gentleman does.  Sorry if that's not what slut-shaming is. 

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not clear on the whole -shaming movement.  But I'm trying to figure it out by deducing from examples.  Like fat-shaming.  If a person is fat, he's fat.  I gather that fat-shaming is criticizing him for being fat, or in other words thinking/saying that he should be ashamed of being fat. 

So with slut-shaming, I thought that if a person wants to be a slut she should be able to be a slut without being ashamed of it. 

And maybe Lexi is a slut--who knows.  I think the world would be better off if we kept a lot of this in the "not for broadcast" zone.  Of course we might then not have the Bachelorette any more, although I'm not sure that's such a bad thing.

[chocolatine]

14 minutes ago, JudyObscure said:

DeMario, by telling everyone that he would call her at 5:30, was saying he was calling her for sex and she would agree. That's kissing and telling in my book and not something a gentleman does. 

The worst part about that for me was that DeMario seemed to think that publicly denigrating Lexi would somehow make him look better. He's completely oblivious to how he comes across.

[ljenkins782]

On 8/6/2017 at 8:16 AM, fib said:

Say Hi Lexi, what are you doing here? Instead of, "who is this?"

His whole spiel sounded like Shaggy's "it wasnt me" song from ~2000.  He just proved himself to be someone who doesnt respect women at all - Not even the one he is chasing - enough to treat honestly.  

Yes, the reaction was worse, and more telling, than the "crime" of allegedly having a girlfriend. It also illustrates that he probably had no issues lying to Lexi or allowing her to believe their relationship was deeper than it was. 

Quote

The worst part about that for me was that DeMario seemed to think that publicly denigrating Lexi would somehow make him look better. He's completely oblivious to how he comes across.

That was gross too. It seemed to be the tack he was attempting to take with Rachel, like "don't worry about that skank, she's nobody, not like you. I'd never be like that to you because you're worth it" or whatever crap he was spewing. 

Agreed with all that the MTA special was far too much Lee and since ANY time spent on Whaboom and Blake is too much time, that sucked too. 

I can't feel that sorry for Lee considering the glee and deliberation that went into his actions in the house. He was all for upsetting other people and getting under their skin and hey, actions have consequences. If he found it so amusing to piss other people off, he had to expect that some blowback would be coming his way. 

I wish they would release more of the bloopers, that's always my favorite thing. Rachel seemed kinda miffed at the enthusiasm the guys showed for the bloopers, but I enjoy seeing them laugh and joke around together.