S05.E04: Honeymoons Part 1

[gonecrackers]

40 minutes ago, Blissfool said:

As i explained to my family, she grew up in a religious household and probably feels it is her duty to have sex with her husband. That religious background is also probably the reason she doesn't make that orgasm happen on her own. 

I'm not so sure it's her religious background affecting in that way. She's obviously not that conservative - she's doing this show, she dresses scantily & on TV, she drinks alcohol, she talks about not having had sex ('it's been a while') so apparently she has, & discusses orgasms, or lack thereof, on TV for all in her circle to see. Just because she believes marriage is forever (commendable), & feels this process has been ordained by God (not so sure on that one but okaaaay), I'm not blaming any overly conservative background here. Her personal problem is most likely her own (& should've stayed personal).

44 minutes ago, Blissfool said:

I realize I'm in the minority, but I don't see Nate as an extrovert or high-energy. He is just doing things people do on vacation, like jet ski. I actually see him really laid- back and even speaks in a very relaxed tone. 

I agree on that. He's willing to relax with her; he just wants a little fun too. She could lighten up a bit & drop the sour puss, which I'm thinking is at least somewhat producer driven since it's so over the top.

1 hour ago, Snarklepuss said:

I agree, I saw that Danielle had addressed the physical thing with Cody so it's not like she isn't being obvious enough.  I just think being young and relatively inexperienced/underconfident, Cody is frightened by having the onus on HIM to make the next move (which is made even more intimidating for him by having all the cameras on him waiting for it too).  He knows the next move is his and feels "on the spot", so to speak.  Of course, this is only more proof that he's not really the "manly man" that Danielle wants him to be, because if he were, that wouldn't faze him.  Then he only makes it worse by showing his nervousness by talking it to death in an incessant whiny monotone.  To someone like Danielle, who is probably waiting for the man to grab her and take her, that's like a cold shower dumped over her desire.  A "manly man" knows what he wants and has no reservations about going out and taking it.  Cody is acting like just the opposite - An immature boy that is afraid of what he wants, and is afraid he'll ruin things with her and won't live up to her expectations.  And IMO he is too immature for her.  That said, she could make the first move but after all he's done to make her know he's not ready to have sex with her yet, she is wise not to throw herself at him.

ITA with all of this. I think Danielle is the one who got the bad deal this season.

[humbleopinion]

Cody's body isn't tight because he used to weigh over 300 pounds and his skin that didn't snap back so he has loose skin and boobs.

He didn't get the M@FS memo for the teeth bleaching and facials to tame his acne before he appeared on camera.

His neck acne looks painful.

Oooh ...another behind the camera scandal would be great.

Weedgate wasn't interesting enough....

[Wings]

11 hours ago, Evil Queen said:

With that how do you stand this show with all the bad advice and reasons for matching these couples? I'm not any kind of therapist or expert of some sort (like most of us here I would imagine) but hell its pathetic when we all can see what they don't and know what should be said to help and they don't. Its a big reason I am not a fan of the "experts" at all. 

I have a gun to my head, I have to watch any reality show about love, romance or the lack thereof!    I usually just sit back and watch not getting sucked in.  That didn't happen this time though. :^)   

[KateHearts]

On 5/5/2017 at 9:53 PM, Evil Queen said:

If you are on a tv show letting cameras follow you around and willing to talk about having sex or orgasms you are not introverted at all. Now with that though it doesn't mean someone doesn't just want a few minutes of quiet.

Introverts get their energy from being solitary, having alone time to "recharge," whereas extroverts gain energy being around others. I'm introverted yet I can talk a lot around people. Not that I'd discuss my sexual concerns on camera... but yeah, I don't think introversion necessarily means "quiet."

[KateHearts]

The overworked, overused phrase of the episode:  "Comfort zone."  Please, stop talking about your comfort zone, the couples' comfort zones, learning to go out of one's comfort zone. I'm over it.

The grammar disasters continue. Sheila: "I can understand why they matched Nate and I."  (ouch)  Cody: "Me and Danielle have been married for three days..." (ouch).  And the best misuse of a word- Nate: "I'm pretty consistent in my moods; there's no deviancy in my behavior."

[yb125]

  On 5/5/2017 at 6:53 PM, Evil Queen said:

If you are on a tv show letting cameras follow you around and willing to talk about having sex or orgasms you are not introverted at all. Now with that though it doesn't mean someone doesn't just want a few minutes of quiet.

Introverts get their energy from being solitary, having alone time to "recharge," whereas extroverts gain energy being around others. I'm introverted yet I can talk a lot around people. Not that I'd discuss my sexual concerns on camera... but yeah, I don't think introversion necessarily means "quiet."

"Introverts get their energy from being solitary, having alone time to "recharge," whereas extroverts gain energy being around others. I'm introverted yet I can talk a lot around people. "

This is the definition I learned in school, along with shy/introvert are not the same as thing. So I don't know if it would have much to do with wanting to be on this show. Now no one here should be a private people because that would seem incompatible with doing this show.

Now I also would not want to talk about my sex life on camera, but I honestly don't think it's a big deal. I mean it isn't a kids show I think it's fine for people to be honest about such things in this context.

There could be a number of reasons why she has not had an orgasm even if she has been trying on her own. I hope the expert talked with her to make sure everything seems alright.

[Snarklepuss]

On 5/5/2017 at 9:53 PM, Evil Queen said:

I know she has said it but I don't think she is an introvert either. I actually find the labeling of them all introvert or extrovert or whatever else a bit much at times. If you are on a tv show letting cameras follow you around and willing to talk about having sex or orgasms you are not introverted at all.

If one reads Myers-Briggs theory, introversion is a preference, meaning that typically introverted behaviors are what an introverted person will tend to choose, but it won't necessarily be how they will choose to act all the time in every circumstance of their lives.  Everyone introverts and extroverts all the time; we have to to exist in the world, it's just which we tend to prefer that makes us one or the other.  Introverts willingly choose to go outside their comfort zones (don't shoot me, that phrase works here) to act pretty extroverted when it means that much to them to do so. 

I hate it when people assume I'm an extrovert because I can talk people under the table or be open and friendly at parties.  That doesn't make me an extrovert.  I know people who think they're extroverts because being an introvert has been negatively stereotyped to the point that they don't want to be identified with it.  Being an introvert doesn't mean a person always chooses to be solitary or won't sometimes be more open than one would think about personal details.  No one acts consistently true to their type preference every minute of the day or in every situation in their lives.  I know introverts that are charismatic teachers.  Most of their students would think they're extroverts, but they're not.  I think someone that chooses to be on a show like this may actually want to go outside their typical preference if they see the goal as worthwhile or worth the effort involved to achieve it.  Either that or initially they may not realize what they're asking of themselves and later regret it.

Then again I still don't think Sheila is all that introverted, it's just that Nate is exhausting to be around.  I don't think it's necessarily because of his extroversion, although that may be part of it.  I just think he is overbearing and oppressive in the way he is dealing with Sheila and that is what is draining her so much and causing her to shut down.

ETA:  When I was doing the dating sites several years ago when Mr. Snarkle and I were close to divorcing (thankfully we did not), I steered clear of the men whose profiles showed them to be full-on high action types because I knew that would never work for me.  These were the guys that wanted a woman who would love to do constant activities like kayaking, skiing, marathoning, hunting, fishing, etc., etc., etc.  These were guys whose profiles exhausted me just reading them.  Like when did they have a moment to have a reflective thought, like ever?  Now if a guy said his favorite activities were going to see a movie, walking through a museum, taking long walks, eating out, reading books, etc., I would know that was going to be less exhausting for me and more my style.  I personally think the "experts" matched Nate and Sheila because (once again) they're working on the faulty logic that Nate can bring Sheila "out of her shell" or that Sheila can "ground Nate" or whatever BS they want to believe or push because they have to make it look like they think matching two people that are that different is a good idea, which I don't think it is.

Edited May 8, 2017 by Snarklepuss

[humbleopinion]

Sheila and Nate should have done that lame-o paddle boat. 

More Sheila's speed...slow. Nate would have been bored but his wife would be happier.

Danielle and Cody riding jet skis would have been more their style since they both like the adrenaline rush.

Danielle liking the physicality of the fast speed and jumping the waves...

[brilliantbreakfast]

OK, I hope someone who is very religious can answer this for me.  I have never understood how religious people (and OK, I'm talking very Christian people) can deal with the message that sex is bad and dirty and then suddenly after marriage it is A-OK.  I'm asking because I'm thinking this is something that Sheila struggles with, and maybe she thought that marriage would suddenly make angels sing when she had sex with someone to whom she is legally married now, and now that they didn't, she's confused. Her previous experiences with sex were probably fraught with guilt and ambivalence.  I don't see how that goes away.

Anthony gets better as this show goes on.  He seems very together; unusually so for this show.  If he can gain influence over Ashley and get her away from her sister on occasion, perhaps she can calm down about all these dangers.  That said, I give her credit for doing the kayak thing given how scared she was.  I did a double parasail with my husband once because he really wanted me to do it with him.  I was scared to death, but I was glad I did it.  And I never wanted to do it again.  10 years later he was still telling people about it.  For guys, that kind of thing seems to mean a lot.

[gonecrackers]

10 minutes ago, brilliantbreakfast said:

OK, I hope someone who is very religious can answer this for me.  I have never understood how religious people (and OK, I'm talking very Christian people) can deal with the message that sex is bad and dirty and then suddenly after marriage it is A-OK.  I'm asking because I'm thinking this is something that Sheila struggles with, and maybe she thought that marriage would suddenly make angels sing when she had sex with someone to whom she is legally married now, and now that they didn't, she's confused. Her previous experiences with sex were probably fraught with guilt and ambivalence.  I don't see how that goes away.

It's not bad or dirty; it's just something that is reserved for marriage & is actually supposed to be quite special - even sacred -  in that regard. But Sheila doesn't seem that conservative to me, & she mentioned she had sex but it was quite a while ago. I doubt that any religious issues are her problem. I had a friend in high school who was very repressed, even prudish, but she didn't come from a religious or Christian family; it was just her. People of every walk of life & faith etc, can have their issues.

Edited May 8, 2017 by gonecrackers

[Snarklepuss]

7 hours ago, brilliantbreakfast said:

OK, I hope someone who is very religious can answer this for me.  I have never understood how religious people (and OK, I'm talking very Christian people) can deal with the message that sex is bad and dirty and then suddenly after marriage it is A-OK.  I'm asking because I'm thinking this is something that Sheila struggles with, and maybe she thought that marriage would suddenly make angels sing when she had sex with someone to whom she is legally married now, and now that they didn't, she's confused. Her previous experiences with sex were probably fraught with guilt and ambivalence.  I don't see how that goes away.

I'll agree with @gonecrackers on this one - I think there's more going on with Sheila than just any kind of "sex is wrong" programming.  Most conservative Christian churches in the U.S. today preach that sex is wonderful and part of God's intentions for a healthy marriage.  They don't preach that sex is dirty or wrong in general, just that it should be reserved for a marital relationship.  It doesn't somehow go from dirty to clean just because of marriage.  They just believe it's not God's intention for people to have sex without being in a committed marital relationship.  The general "sex is dirty" thing was more a holdover from Victorian English culture, or so I have read. 

[Jade Foxx]

On 5/6/2017 at 0:52 PM, crgirl412 said:

Ashley & Anthony:  Cute together.  She's all-American pretty

On a superficial note, Ashley looks like a blonde Casey Anthony to me...just me?

Shiela's affected mouth/speaking situation really bugs me. Nate is super corny.  I want to root for them, but....eh. 

Cody and his girl aren't gonna make it. 

[Lovecat]

5 hours ago, Jade Foxx said:

On a superficial note, Ashley looks like a blonde Casey Anthony to me...just me?

I think she's a dead ringer for Rachel McAdams, actually.

[announcergirl]

On 5/7/2017 at 10:12 AM, humbleopinion said:

With so many shots of Cody and Danielle in bed, I appreciate the producer whose job is to check for boogers up their nostrils before the camera rolls...

Maybe have (sing along with me..The Farmer and his wife...The Farmer and his wife, hie ho the merry-o...)

prop up on the pillows for a change of scenery?

 

Sheila, in her real life, in real time, since Thursday evening must be mortified...sweetie, this is what wine is for... to get you through this week's episode wave wake.

People who know her ... her bible study group...her colleagues at the school district... her parents... are watching her self imposed Walk of Shame in this episode.

Unfortunately, she is taking it out on the bewildered, befuddled Nate.

M@FS  marry people who are on opposites ends of the dial together hoping they meet in the middle.

Sheila is the OFF position and Nate is when you turn up the dial up, up all the way...to 11 (shout out to Spinal Tap)

Nate is only in the OFF position when you pull the plug on him...which Sheila does by ignoring him, refusing to look or talk to him...

Sheila will never be on the dial above an 7, her dial can't go above 5.

Looks like Nate will have to make the most changes and that will not come without ALOT of tears in this couple...

Sheila does an ugly cry...

Nate lets his teardrops roll down his cheeks...

Sheila's not very attractive. Well put together, yes.

[KikiBda]

On 9 May 2017 at 9:43 AM, Lovecat said:

I think she's a dead ringer for Rachel McAdams, actually.

Rachel all the way.  On a commercial/preview I'm like 'Rach is that you?' LoL 

[crgirl412]

AGH!!!!!!!!!!   CODY!!!!  You have to throw her some small bone or she is out!! 

Notice in her TH she said that now she thought she had unrealistic expectations and wanted to see how it would be at home.

Did Cody say he wants to back things up or slow down on the last night of the honeymoon??? 

[topanga]

On 5/6/2017 at 7:27 PM, Neurochick said:

But I kind of do feel Nate.  I used to work with a woman who was VERY low key and who was the type of person who could stay silent for hours.  She was the type of person who'd sit back and not engage others at social situations.  Needless to say I'm glad I no longer work with her anymore.

Neurochick, did we work together? LOL. I guess I understand Sheila's need to be quiet and chill sometimes. This doesn't make her moody, IMO. And I thought she explained herself to Nate pretty well. 

On 5/10/2017 at 7:16 AM, announcergirl said:

Sheila's not very attractive. Well put together, yes.

Different Strokes for different folks. I think Sheila is pretty. Even though she was plainer without makeup or perfect hair (aren't we all?), she still had beautiful eyes and a nice facial structure. 

 

On 5/9/2017 at 8:43 AM, Lovecat said:

I think she's a dead ringer for Rachel McAdams, actually.

Ashley is pretty, but Rachel McAdams seems nicer. Ashley makes me think she has mean girl tendencies, ala Rachel's mean girl character Regina George.  

[humbleopinion]

If Ashley had any mean girl tendencies, she has aged out.

Her inability to get married and have kids by 30 brought to her to her knees and crawling to M@FS...to our delight.