S06.E09: Ari & Lanum

[Tara Ariano]

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Nev and Max receive emails from opposite sides of the same online romance, each concerned that the other may be a catfish. The guys are taken aback when one side decides to follow through with their marriage plans.

[Primetimer]

Catfish's producers get emails about opposite sides of the same relationship. Are Max and Nev equipped to unravel this story?

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[DiabLOL]

Uh, Nev? Women don't owe pushy, lying, delusional dickweeds anything. No closure, no explanations, no helping them understand.

[Racj82]

32 minutes ago, DiabLOL said:

Uh, Nev? Women don't owe pushy, lying, delusional dickweeds anything. No closure, no explanations, no helping them understand.

They certainly do not but she also decided to confront him as well based on the night in between. Thankfully it wasn't them trying to force the issue. She wanted to end it and get rid of those pictures.

Pissed max is the best max. He had no time for the pity party. Ooh what A douchebag.

[GaT]

I still don’t get it, how do these people consider themselves to be dating when they’ve never actually met? She was planning on marrying someone she had never been in the same room with & she’s sending him nudes. It’s hard to feel sympathy for this level of stupid.

When Max said that everyone on the show was always worried that they have been talking to a mid-forties guy in crusty boxers (yeech!) typing on his computer & that Marcus was him, I knew he was seriously mad. He was really pissed off at this guy, more than he normally is.

I’m not sure what this guy’s thing was, did he really think she would accept an engagement ring? Or was that some kind of scam? And I don’t think he’s going to stop catfishing.

[Momus]

Whenever I do online dating, I always practice due diligence, and heed red flags. If someone sends a picture that looks like a model shoot, RED FLAG. (One person sent me a picture that was clearly a shot of a B/C-list celebrity). So many of the victims, like the girl above, don't even do the bare minimum (Lanum: "You're beautiful!"; Ari: *Smiley emoticon* Sends a nude pic).

I think that internet scam spotting should be a mandatory course for people in junior high on up.

[BeatrixK]

Yeah -- this show, if nothing else, has given people a primer on Google-Foo 101:  If you can't use it your damned self...perhaps we need to stick to IRL dating.

[Pepper Mostly]

Shudder. that guy was seriously creepy. They should have taken a look in his basement to see if any other objects of his online affection were stashed down there. Creepy, and as my husband would say "that boy ain't right". His affect was flat and he seemed to have no understanding of Ari's utter revulsion. When he produced the ring I actually said "OK, Ari, run. now." out loud. 

And if he stops catfishing I will eat my hat. He has no intention of stopping. He's getting attractive young women to send him nudes and sext him! WTF??

[bean9879]

The most offensive part of this guy's deal was that his "guilt text" was a line from a Smiths song! ("I Know It's Over") I was wondering why it sounded familiar, and then it clicked.
I did enjoy Max's smackdown a great deal, but this guy is not going to stop being a creeper.

[GoGamecox]

I remember her saying something, too, about wanting to make babies with this guy before she even met him. GIRL. Needy isn't sexy! 

[txhorns79]

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I still don’t get it, how do these people consider themselves to be dating when they’ve never actually met? She was planning on marrying someone she had never been in the same room with & she’s sending him nudes. It’s hard to feel sympathy for this level of stupid.

The best I can say is that some people are extremely sheltered, very naive and overly trusting.  They don't have the sophistication to know what a real relationship should look like, and get wrapped up in their fantasy, while ignoring reality.  Also, there is generally a huge amount of denial going on as well. 

[NanGee]

I wanted to stand up and cheer when Max said, "I won't let her." What a celebration of protective manhood, after SJWs and feminists have done their very best to demonize both men and white people the past 8 years. You know, logically, that Max doesn't really have the authority to tell any of the idjut Catfishees what they can or can't do, but just him going mano-a-mano with poor little Marcus was so refreshing, natural and instinctive. I also thought Marcus' offended "no!" reaction to being told he needed "help" was instructive. The house he lived in reeked of Norman and the Bates Motel. I bet the Dallas police have a file on him, and surrounding elementary schools have restraining orders against him. Frankly, just between you and me, I didn't think Ari was any great catch either, but the wonderful thing about this show is what an honest portrait of the great American public it presents. All existing in lives of "quiet desperation" ... except Max.

[Tara Ariano]

2 minutes ago, NanGee said:

I wanted to stand up and cheer when Max said, "I won't let her." What a celebration of protective manhood, after SJWs and feminists have done their very best to demonize both men and white people the past 8 years. 

lol you are going to have a hard time here.

[taeyeon]

I applauded Max for going off on that guy, I love it when he does that. also that disgusting description of the 40 year old man in boxers was spot on ew. honestly every episode I just wonder why can't these people just reverse image search/phone search themselves? it's not rocket science..

[Whimsy]

I loved when Max said "You're not the victim here".  That guy was so gross. 

[LoneHaranguer]

4 hours ago, NanGee said:

I bet the Dallas police have a file on him, and surrounding elementary schools have restraining orders against him.

Did I miss something? I don't recall anything to suggest he was interested in anyone underage. He was a lot older than her, but nobody blinks an eye at that when it's a celebrity, and it's not that rare IRL; it's just an important thing to have out there so as to not waste the time of anyone who considers that a deal-breaker (although he probably had a better shot than the catfish lying about their gender/sexuality).

[ForReal]

16 hours ago, GaT said:

When Max said that everyone on the show was always worried that they have been talking to a mid-forties guy in crusty boxers (yeech!) typing on his computer & that Marcus was him, I knew he was seriously mad. He was really pissed off at this guy, more than he normally is.

While I was with Max all the way, I did wonder what made him particularly mad at this catfish. Because of his age? Because he was a man? Almost all of the other factors -- he was creepy, he showed no remorse, he is in denial, he is unlikely to stop, he had other victims -- were present in other past catfish, but somehow this guy really set Max off. It was the best part of the episode, frankly.

[GaT]

54 minutes ago, ForReal said:

While I was with Max all the way, I did wonder what made him particularly mad at this catfish. Because of his age? Because he was a man? Almost all of the other factors -- he was creepy, he showed no remorse, he is in denial, he is unlikely to stop, he had other victims -- were present in other past catfish, but somehow this guy really set Max off. It was the best part of the episode, frankly.

I think it was his age, the cafishers they get are usually in their 20s, maybe early 30s tops. Max seemed particularly enraged that a mid-forties guy was getting nudes from a 21 years old girl. 

[DiabLOL]

22 hours ago, Racj82 said:

They certainly do not but she also decided to confront him as well based on the night in between. Thankfully it wasn't them trying to force the issue. She wanted to end it and get rid of those pictures.

I would totally be on board with this except in my experience of this show there's a real tendency to want everyone to hash it out in the last segment and then do the video followup. I think they really lean on everyone to follow along with this. I really don't think anyone owes anyone closure and I would normally assume Ari wanted to do it but I don't think in this case she really arrived on it on her own. I think she's OBVIOUSLY got some major issues in general, is very very young, who knows what is driving all this neediness and behavior so I really don't think so. She felt GUILTY! GUILTY! Sure she told him to fuck off but she was still very obviously influenced by him. They are not peers in any sense. These aren't two dumb high school kids.

I'll just say it, I think this guy is not just manipulative and a liar I think he's predatory and most likely abusive. The marry me/fuck you thing really raises all the flags for me. That he'd think parading out that shitty ring would turn things around is so disturbing. 

 

Also I don't think it's fair to say Max is enraged about his ability to trick young women into sending him nudes. The only time I was even close to being this creeped out was the Katy Perry ep. I'm really surprised there hasn't been a Jenny Jones type murder from this show. 

Early 20s is legal but there's a wide wide world of maturity and awareness and capacity to understand what's appropriate. Ari may be legal to drink and drive and vote but she's really naive and frighteningly lacking in proper boundaries. I love you and lets have babies and get married and here's my nudes after four days with no Skyping or anything from him is really disturbing. Like I said, I don't know why she is that way and all of that is her burden but it doesn't absolve all the creeps out there if they exploit it. 

 

ps the deleting of pics was bullshit. That stuff is all in his cloud come on.

[Racj82]

6 minutes ago, DiabLOL said:

I would totally be on board with this except in my experience of this show there's a real tendency to want everyone to hash it out in the last segment and then do the video followup. I think they really lean on everyone to follow along with this. I really don't think anyone owes anyone closure and I would normally assume Ari wanted to do it but I don't think in this case she really arrived on it on her own. I think she's OBVIOUSLY got some major issues in general, is very very young, who knows what is driving all this neediness and behavior so I really don't think so. She felt GUILTY! GUILTY! Sure she told him to fuck off but she was still very obviously influenced by him. They are not peers in any sense. These aren't two dumb high school kids.

I'll just say it, I think this guy is not just manipulative and a liar I think he's predatory and most likely abusive. The marry me/fuck you thing really raises all the flags for me. That he'd think parading out that shitty ring would turn things around is so disturbing. 

 

Also I don't think it's fair to say Max is enraged about his ability to trick young women into sending him nudes. The only time I was even close to being this creeped out was the Katy Perry ep. I'm really surprised there hasn't been a Jenny Jones type murder from this show. 

Early 20s is legal but there's a wide wide world of maturity and awareness and capacity to understand what's appropriate. Ari may be legal to drink and drive and vote but she's really naive and frighteningly lacking in proper boundaries. I love you and lets have babies and get married and here's my nudes after four days with no Skyping or anything from him is really disturbing. Like I said, I don't know why she is that way and all of that is her burden but it doesn't absolve all the creeps out there if they exploit it. 

 

ps the deleting of pics was bullshit. That stuff is all in his cloud come on.

I'm not disagreeing with leaning on the guys, especially Nev does, I was saying that in this instance it was her choice after the bullshit he pulled the night before. They didn't have to do anything. She still didn't want to see him after Nev tried to lean in the car. I was just happy that this time it wss her choice. I'm really glad that everyone around though. No joke. If she had tried to do this on her own I would honestly fear for her life.

7 hours ago, LoneHaranguer said:

Did I miss something? I don't recall anything to suggest he was interested in anyone underage. He was a lot older than her, but nobody blinks an eye at that when it's a celebrity, and it's not that rare IRL; it's just an important thing to have out there so as to not waste the time of anyone who considers that a deal-breaker (although he probably had a better shot than the catfish lying about their gender/sexuality).

He never said he was going after anyone underage but I peeped game with the hesitation on the is she the youngest question. He may not be a child predator but that did send off reg flags.

[ForReal]

7 hours ago, DiabLOL said:

"The only time I was even close to being this creeped out was the Katy Perry ep."

Ugh, what about the clapping guy? He was so angry and so creepy.

"ps the deleting of pics was bullshit. That stuff is all in his cloud come on."

Yeah, I have to think this guy has all his pics saved somewhere where he can go back and look at them when he's lonely. It's hard to believe he deleted them just like that.

Edited April 28, 2017 by ForReal
Added italics and quotes

[LoneHaranguer]

10 hours ago, DiabLOL said:

ps the deleting of pics was bullshit. That stuff is all in his cloud come on.

As are enough other nudes and porn to last anyone a lifetime. I don't think he cared about her pics once the fantasy of getting together was dead. He's not like Lucas, who had a grudge against women and would never have thrown away what he got.

10 hours ago, Racj82 said:

He never said he was going after anyone underage but I peeped game with the hesitation on the is she the youngest question.

What that meant was that there was someone else of a similar age and he had to pause a moment to figure out the answer. If he was going after younger women, he would have immediately known the answer was no.

[Racj82]

17 minutes ago, LoneHaranguer said:

As are enough other nudes and porn to last anyone a lifetime. I don't think he cared about her pics once the fantasy of getting together was dead. He's not like Lucas, who had a grudge against women and would never have thrown away what he got.

What that meant was that there was someone else of a similar age and he had to pause a moment to figure out the answer. If he was going after younger women, he would have immediately known the answer was no.

I don't know what it means. It could mean lots of things. You are probably right. I just found it suspicious. He seems like the type where the younger is better for him because it strokes his ego.

[EDTV]

anyone who lies and say they are 20... TWENTY... years younger obviously likes much younger girls. Yes that pause me think he's talked to younger ones. and yes i'm sure he has quite the collection of nudes...

Edited April 28, 2017 by EDTV

[cmfran]

I was confused as to why she was still texting him the night after the initial meetup. I would have blocked his number as soon as I got in the car to leave his house.

"No one is named Lanum" - ha. Me and my wife said that several times while watching. And wow, that guy had quite the cowboy hat collection. I'm surprised he went with the newsboy cap for the show.

[noveltylibrary65]

On 4/27/2017 at 1:16 AM, DiabLOL said:

Uh, Nev? Women don't owe pushy, lying, delusional dickweeds anything. No closure, no explanations, no helping them understand.

Totally.  I thought that was pretty low of him to get her to go back to talk to him, just for ratings sake.  

On 4/27/2017 at 2:15 AM, GaT said:

I still don’t get it, how do these people consider themselves to be dating when they’ve never actually met?

I ask myself that every episode!!  The only explanation is there is a lot of desperation/naivete out there.   And I assume no good fathers for these young women.  "Dating" implies going on actual "dates" (at least that's what I thought, silly me).  Dating online means dating your life away...

[noveltylibrary65]

On 4/27/2017 at 10:21 AM, bean9879 said:

The most offensive part of this guy's deal was that his "guilt text" was a line from a Smiths song! ("I Know It's Over") I was wondering why it sounded familiar, and then it clicked.
I did enjoy Max's smackdown a great deal, but this guy is not going to stop being a creeper.

I happen to love the Smiths from back in the day when I got their first album, please don't lump him in with them! 

On 4/27/2017 at 10:58 AM, GoGamecox said:

I remember her saying something, too, about wanting to make babies with this guy before she even met him. GIRL. Needy isn't sexy! 

It's really depressing how women send nude pics to people they've never met IRL.  Unless they're exhibitionists in general, they are likely in for a world of hurt that they could have prevented.

Edited May 20, 2017 by noveltylibrary65

[noveltylibrary65]

On 4/27/2017 at 0:48 PM, NanGee said:

 Frankly, just between you and me, I didn't think Ari was any great catch either,.

Not sure where you get that.  If she were prettier would she be a better catch?  She's an average young woman just a bit more desperate for love than others imo.

On 4/27/2017 at 1:32 PM, taeyeon said:

honestly every episode I just wonder why can't these people just reverse image search/phone search themselves? it's not rocket science..

I'll bet a fair amount are afraid to do that, in case it busts the fantasy.

On 4/29/2017 at 8:00 AM, cmfran said:

I was confused as to why she was still texting him the night after the initial meetup. I would have blocked his number as soon as I got in the car to leave his house.

"No one is named Lanum" - ha. Me and my wife said that several times while watching. And wow, that guy had quite the cowboy hat collection. I'm surprised he went with the newsboy cap for the show.

I had to wonder if the producers asked her to keep the lines of communication open with him for just one more day.  You could tell she was ready to have nothing to do with him as soon as she met him.

Haa no one is named Lanum.   At the beginning I said to myself as Jeff,  I'm writing to you guys because my brother has a stupid name.

[noveltylibrary65]

On 4/27/2017 at 6:45 PM, ForReal said:

While I was with Max all the way, I did wonder what made him particularly mad at this catfish. Because of his age? Because he was a man? Almost all of the other factors -- he was creepy, he showed no remorse, he is in denial, he is unlikely to stop, he had other victims -- were present in other past catfish, but somehow this guy really set Max off. It was the best part of the episode, frankly.

It was definitely the age .  So gross.

[Stun04]

Why does Kylee still have Lanum on her social media when she knows he is a creep and catfish

[Stun04]

  On 4/27/2017 at 5:45 PM, ForReal said:

While I was with Max all the way, I did wonder what made him particularly mad at this catfish. Because of his age? Because he was a man? Almost all of the other factors -- he was creepy, he showed no remorse, he is in denial, he is unlikely to stop, he had other victims -- were present in other past catfish, but somehow this guy really set Max off. It was the best part of the episode, frankly.

It was definitely the age .  So gross.

I was actually waiting for them to question this guy about the ages of the women he is getting a pics from. I wouldn't be surprised if he had some from underage girls. I think that this guy giving off pedo vibes is partly what set Max off.

[LoneHaranguer]

On 5/20/2017 at 11:33 AM, noveltylibrary65 said:

It was definitely the age .  So gross.

By historical standards, an older guy and younger woman is the ideal matchup. The guy is old enough to be established in a career and able to support a family, and the woman at an age best able to produce offspring. My high school English teacher made it a point to note that Hamlet was twice as old as Ophelia.

[Jlboyan]

The good that can come out of this episode is people will know. People he knows in real life will hopefully know. I doubt at I was youngest. I also doubt that she is the last, he was only sorry he got caught. He seriously creeped me out. Lets just hope those nudes were printed or stored anywhere else. What's sad is Ari isn't the only person to do shit like this. It happens more often that it should.

[Drummerporn]

Hell Im 47 and only date 18-24 yr olds and they love it, I bang em like a savage, party til dawn on blow and do roll play where we buy slutty outfits and then go to town. Screw the haters! FACT, guys my age are far better at everything