Somebody's Going to Emergency, Somebody's Going to Jail: BiP Spoilers

[ShaNaeNae]

 

Yes.  It's set to begin airing August 4, after the Bachelorette is finished.

 

My, how far we've fallen. Last August 5, I sat on my 40th birthday (I know...no life), watching "After the Final Rose" and they announced a) Juan Pablo was going to be the new Bachelor and b) It was also Juan Pablo's birthday. I, like many women, was so excited he was going to be The Bachelor AND that we shared a birthday AND this was all being announced on my birthday!

 

Now, he creeps me out (and most of America) and I can't wait to see him on Couples Therapy because I think he and Nikki are pure trash TV.

[Rhondinella]

Ok, a few more potential spoilers.  I found these through methods that I can't reveal (nothing illegal) but I am assured by someone I trust that the source of these spoilers is GENERALLY pretty accurate, at least as accurate as RS.  So, here's your update:

 

Kalon was flown to Mexico and, kinda like Mike T, holed up in a hotel room but never made it on the show.  He came back today.  Apparently he was only there two days I guess, cause several sources report that he just flew in on Tuesday.

 

Danielle Ronco was brought on as a replacement for Michelle Kujawa after she was sent home for "the incident."

 

Earlier today some guy posted a pic on instagram of him sitting on a plane from Cabo next to Clare.  The "source" is checking on this but says it might explain some things, so it may be accurate.

 

Apparently Ben Scott (who?) had a girlfriend back home while on BiP.  Marcus and Marquel found love letters and Ben left on his own accord.

 

This same source also says that the contestants basically had no idea what the show would be, what would be required of them, or anything even when they flew in to Mexico.  Which partly explains why they had a hard time getting some of the bigger names from the franchise. Reportedly many of them said that if it were Bachelor Pad 4 they would be in. 

 

That's it for now.  More as I know it.  I know RS was doing a video chat tonight.  We'll see if anything shakes out from that.

 

I gotta say, from what we know now, this has to be the most cukoo nutsoid reality show ever.  It feels like they're just throwing anything against the wall with no rhyme or reason just to see what happens.  Which of course is good news for us!

[leighdear]

If Marquel was so concerned about his percieved image, then why would he voluntarily and immediately go onto "Bachelor in Paradise"?  

 

It's a brand new show that has the single premise of hooking up pretty people in Mexico.  There are no competitions, no challenges, no prize and nothing as a recognizable purpose, other than being a perpetual cocktail party with dates tacked on. 

 

Most of the more "popular" and well-known Bach/Bachette alum allegedly refused to go on because the producers wouldn't tell them what the show involved.

 

(All this info has been posted at non-spoiler sites)

 

Once you've entered the Bachelorsphere, you're simply a commodity to the franchise. Anybody that is truly concerned about how they will be percieved by the public, their friends and family should probably stay as far away as possible.  

[Bugs Meany]

What was the timeline? I forget when BiP was announced, but I assume they'd been cut off from all entertainment news once filming had begun. Certainly Marquel hadn't been offered and accepted the BiP invitation before he gave that exit interview.

[leighdear]

Filming for BIP began on Wednesday June 4th and is supposed to be finished filming by next week.  Marquel was cut before mid-April, because hometown dates started filming on April 15, the first of the final 4.  

 

He had several weeks after his cut to be approached by BIP production, agree to appear and then be in Mexico when filming started.  

[Bugs Meany]

I'm down with all that. But when he was "auditioning" for the Bachelor immeditately after Andi had cut him in Marseille, sob story and all, was he disingenuous? I don't think he had any idea he'd end up on BiP.

[leighdear]

He had time to evaluate the potential situation before committing himself to BIP.  Either they told him up front it was hook-up show and he wanted to ride that wave, or they told him he could as easily "find real love" there.  Or maybe a combination of both.  

 

No telling.  Regardless, we'll probably find out more about him once BIP starts airing.   

 

I  mean I certainly get the recycling of contestants for leads because viewers already have some connection with them but at the same time it might be interesting learning about someone as they're getting to know the contestants and "trying to find love".

Not only the viewers have the "connection", but the potential "winners" know something going in. 

 

Since the franchise has been recycling, 2 of the 4 Bachelor couples are still together (Sean & JPG) and 2 of the 3 Bachelorette couples are still together (Ashley and Des).  

 

While we know that means very little in real life, the recycle does give those folks auditioning a glimpse of who they may be meeting.  I prefer the recycle to a new face, even if the lead is someone I don't care for.  

[Rhondinella]

RS has new info about this insane show up today.  I'll summarize since many of you have told me you don't like going to the site to read for yourself:

 

--Filming ends this week.  Chris and Desiree and Jason and Molly are on the way there today.  To do what no one really knows.

 

--The picture last week which he said was Cody and Jackie Parr was actually Cody and Michelle Money.  They apparently hook up after Marquel and Michelle are done.  He says that was never serious (as if any of them are).

 

--This one I have to quote directly:

 

Kalon had an interesting jaunt onto “Bachelor in Paradise.” He came on the show last week bearing a date card, asked three different women if they wanted to go on a date, they all said no, so he went on a date by himself, then left the next day. So yeah, Kalon lasts a whole 24 hours on this show. I told you this show made no sense.

 

 

Hee!  He went on a date by himself.  Classic!

 

--Currently, the couples in the house of the people still there are: AshLee and Graham, Cody and Michelle, Marcus & Lacy, Sarah & Robert Graham

Other people still there but who haven’t really “coupled up” are: Jackie Parr, Christy Hansen, Jesse Kovacs, and Zack Kalter.

 

--They are still "throwing curveballs" apparently trying to break up these couples.  For example, Brooks (BROOKS!!) will coming on (either already has or will soon) in an attempt to break up Sarah and Robert since Sarah is reportedly "obsessed" with him.

 

Final quote re: the mess that this show is:

 

With the “Bachelor,” “Bachelorette,” and even “Bachelor Pad,” we’ve always known there to be structure within those shows. Every episode you know you’re getting dates, roses, and eliminations. With “Bachelor in Paradise,” throw that all out the window. Dates happen at random times, people can go on multiple dates with different people, and people even entering the show come in with a date card in hand, and immediately start going on dates. There’s basically zero structure to the show at all and it’s basically one giant orgy. I think most people went on a date with more than one person.

 

[leighdear]

 

Hee!  He went on a date by himself.  Classic!

He probably felt that he was the most interesting and best looking person there.....*LOL*  Confidence was certainly never lacking in Kalon.  He's the one who showed up in a helicopter, not a limo!  

 

I'm sad for Sarah that she even did that show.  She was on Sean's season a year & a half ago, and if she hasn't found a nice guy since, she's certainly not going to find one on that screwed up island.

[chocolatine]

Chris and Desiree and Jason and Molly are on the way there today.  To do what no one really knows.

 

 

Oh, I know, I know! To prolong their 15 minutes of fame!

[Bella]

Is there any other reason to do this show?

 

Okay, maybe "why not, I've got nothing better to do and it could be fun" - but other than that?

 

I'm so confused by what I'm reading, I'm very unsure about watching. There are other shows stored on my DVR, and there are books to read, walks to take, friends to see. This is starting to come across as less worthy than all of those pursuits.

[Rhondinella]

Oh, it's definitely less worthy than just about anything.  But I'm kinda looking forward to the train-wreckiness of it all.

[JenE4]

The trashier, the better in my book!

[legaleagle53]

Just make sure y'all have had your shots before you start watching.  From the sound of it, it may be possible to catch something nasty just from the television!

[CindyBee]

I have no qualms in admitting that I hope this is the trashiest trash since "Paradise Hotel" was on my TV.  

 

I find the AshLee & Graham pairing sad but can't wait to see Cody & Michelle and what he wears to woo her!

Edited June 24, 2014 by CindyBee

[Rhondinella]

My secret source is saying that Lucy Aragon was eliminated in ep 5 and Graham Bunn in ep 6.  If anyone cares.

 

And she says Jason/Molly and Des/Chris are appearing in the finale in some capacity related to the final prize.

[leighdear]

How about rubber gloves, plastic wrap covering the TV screen and a preventative round of antibiotics, @legaleagle53 ?

 

CindyBee....I'm gonna go WAY out on a limb & predict Cody sports a veritable rainbow of v-neck Tshirts...and sadly, Michelle will dump him because his cleavage is so much better than hers....

[Rhondinella]

Reality Steve posted the ep by ep spoilers for BiP this afternoon.  He also gives a description of exactly how the show is going to work, and boy howdy is it a doozy.  I'll summarize both for you here as well as I can in brief, but if you want to know more detail go to his site.

 

Gameplay:  This sounds like the most dumb, crazy-ass thing they could possibly do.  Essentially there's very little structure and just a lot of sleeping around with each other.  Which, as RS points out, alums from this show already do all the time off camera anyway, so what's the point?  Anyway a very short summary is that they start with these 6 guys and 8 girls:

 

Men:
Robert Graham (Des’ season)
Ben Scott (Des)
Graham Bunn (DeAnna, Bachelor Pad 2)
Marquel Martin (Andi)
Marcus Grodd (Andi)
Dylan Petitt (Andi)

 

Women:
Michelle Kujawa (Jake, Bachelor Pad 1)
Clare Crawley (Juan Pablo)
Sarah Herron (Sean)
AshLee Frazier (Sean)
Elise Mosca (Juan Pablo)
Lacy Faddoul (Juan Pablo)
Daniella McBride (Sean)

Michelle Money (Brad)

 

Each week two new people are introduced into the house, two men one week, two women the next week, alternating.  These new people each have a "date card" and can invite anyone they want on a date that week.  The person can refuse if they don't want to go.  Then they show those two dates, as well as two "house dates," where two people in the house get to invite two other people on dates.  So basically we will see four hookups every week.  At the end of each episode the gender that did NOT get to ask people on dates gets to give out roses to the other gender. (Hence the 8/6 balance which they will maintain all season so there's suspense as to who the last person will choose).  Each person gives a rose to the person of their choice.  The one with no rose is eliminated.  And the prize at the end of all this?  Um, couples counseling advice from Des & Chris, Sean & Catherine, and Jason & Molly for the couples who decide they want to stay together after the show.  Yes, really.  They actually make the people who had formed "couples" by the end declare whether they were intending to stay together after the show or not.  

 

This is even dumber than I expected and I didn't think that would be possible.

 

If you want the breakdown of who dated who each week, what they did on the date, who gave roses to who each week, etc., go to the RS site.  I will just list here who is eliminated each week, who the final couples standing are and who the "winners" ended up being.

 

Eliminations:

Week 1--Michelle Kujawa voluntarily leaves before RC claiming she has no "connection" with anyone.  That could be because she was boinking with one of the sound men from the crew who was caught in her room, ran onto the balcony and jumped down breaking his legs or feet (Steve has never clarified which).  Eliminee at RC is Daniella.

 

Week 2--(Entering: Chris Bukowski and Zack Kalter); Ben leaves after Marcus finds a note from his girlfriend back home in his suitcase. Dylan is eliminated at RC after he refuses a rose from Elise.  They had been a thing before Bukowski showed up and she hooked up with him instead.  Dylan angry!

 

Week 3--(Entering: Danielle Ronco, Jackie Parr); This ep Chris Bukowski seriously injures his knee in the ocean somehow and can't continue so ends up leaving, but still has to give out a rose.  Danielle is eliminated, but Elise (for some reason) decides to eliminate herself and return home with Chris.

 

Week 4--(Entering: Kalon McMahon and Cody Sattler); This is going to be my favorite week.  Kalon offers his date card to three different women, all of whom turn him down. HAHAHAHAHA!  So he goes on a date BY HIMSELF!!  And that's not all.  RS says he "brings two shirts, and talks to himself over dinner sitting in both seats wearing a different outfit. Called the “One-on-none” date."  Eliminated: Kalon and Marquel.

 

Week 5--(Entering: Lucy Aragon and Christy Hansen); Clare leaves voluntarily when she and Zack "reevaluate their relationship" (read: he decides he wants to boink someone else); Eliminated at RC--Lucy.

 

Week 6--(Brooks Forester & Tasos Hernandez) Jesse voluntarily leaves because he also "doesn't have a connection with anyone" (read: can't get anyone to sleep with him); Eliminated:  Brooks

After this point (RS is not exactly sure if it will be week 6 or 7 or spread over both) is where the couples that are boinking each other at the moment are given the option to split up or stay together.  They are given a chance to go on a "Fantasy Suite" date, although how that differs from sleeping with each other every night already is kinda not clear.  Anyway, naturally most decide to part ways.  The only two who don't are Marcus & Lacy and Cody & Michelle.

The kicker?  Chris and Elise were brought back for the final ep because neither were actually ever eliminated.  Producers had a ring and pushed Chris to propose to Elise on the final ep, but he resisted, thank God.  This may or may not end up being shown.

Sorry so long.  Seriously, I'm not sure this even sounds fun.  At least Bachelor Pad had crazy challenges that were sometimes amusing.

[ramble]

Oh good grief that sounds stupid. Convoluted & ridiculous. Smarmy & gross. And I'm in. I'm totally in because I'm weak. Oh so weak!

At least Bachelor Pad had crazy challenges that were sometimes amusing.

Yes & they were silly too, but in a fun to watch & make fun of way. Why did they throw that recipe out the window? This was never going to be aware winning tv so why not go with some of your prior points that worked? Stupid people.

And the prize at the end of all this? Um, couples counseling advice from Des & Chris, Sean & Catherine, and Jason & Molly for the couples who decide they want to stay together after the show.

I'm not even sure what to say to this. Counseling advice from these couples? Seriously?! The only couples that will take it will be the ones that want to stretch their reality famewhoring out just a little bit longer. So with that in mind it could be any or all of them.

ETA: Thanks @Rhondinella for bringing the RS spoilers over!

Edited July 3, 2014 by ramble

[Bugs Meany]

I will never understand why they canceled Bachelor Pad, especially after how season three ended (Bill Simmons called it the greatest reality TV moment ever). And why replace it with this?? It took several weeks for people to figure out what the point was, if one could call it a point. The prize is...advice??

[Bella]

The prize is the maximum amount of screen time.

 

These people!

[leighdear]

The only season I ever watched of BP was the last one, and it was obviously the best they ever had.  Maybe they shut it down because of the flack Nick got for cutting Rachel out of the cash.  I thought it was epic and totally cheered Nick for doing it.   Maybe they want to re-tool the BP grand prize requirements/rules and just threw this together in the meantime. 

 

With BIP they actually have a win/win situation because people will still watch it, and they save boatloads of prize cash at the same time.   Anything in the franchise is enough of a cash cow that they can crank out whatever show format they want, slap a "Bachelor" tag on it somewhere and get past bodies to participate.   They honestly can't lose. 

Edited July 3, 2014 by leighdear

[Rhondinella]

It's amazing to think that we're actually lamenting the death of Bachelor Pad, but honestly at least it pretended to be about something other than just people hooking up with each other.

[legaleagle53]

I wonder whether Trojans is one of the sponsors.

[leighdear]

Reality Steve is reporting that Marcus is now engaged to Lacy.  

[Bella]

If the application for this franchise's shows has an essay exam, it must be something like "tell us in 500 words or less why short courtships are better than long ones."

[CindyBee]

Did Marcus get a big ole check from Fleiss to propose!?!?  Just seems so out there that he goes from being "in love" with Andi to engaged to Lacy in less than 3 months.    At least when Blake got engaged to Holly, he was well off Ashley's season and never in love with her.  

 

Off to look for a bio/picture of Lacy as I have no recolection of her at all.

[Rhondinella]

Well, so much for his eternal, undying love for Andi which he would never get over *Eyeroll*

 

I smell a publicity couple.  In the spoilers from RS it says that the producers pushed Chris B really hard to propose to Elise on camera but he refused.  Although I guess this one didn't happen on camera but shortly after they returned, I still suspect producer manipulation.  Will there be a "Bachelor in Paradise: The Contestants Tell All" for this show?  If so I could see them touting the relationship then.   I don't know.  It's just so dumb.

[LakeGal]

Oh I can't wait for this trainwreck.  I loved Paradise Hotel.  I just wish I remembered even half of these people. 

[CindyBee]

I loved Paradise Hotel too.  Probably my favorite reality tv show of all time. 

 

I think the "couple" I'm most interested in seeing is Cody & Michelle Money as that totally has trainwreck written all over it.   Too bad we have to wait all the way to episode 4 for his arrival!

[Jillybean]

I doubt I'll watch this, but when FF through the Bachelorette commercials I stopped and watched the BIP commercial and it made me laugh and laugh.  They played "Almost Paradise" over a montage of the various contestants crying.  It was awesome.  

[legaleagle53]

I doubt I'll watch this, but when FF through the Bachelorette commercials I stopped and watched the BIP commercial and it made me laugh and laugh.  They played "Almost Paradise" over a montage of the various contestants crying.  It was awesome.  

 

Hmm -- I see what they did there!

[leighdear]

The absolute worst part of this whole thing for me is the song "Almost Paradise".  It was actually my first dance song when my ex and I got married in 1987.  *sigh*

[barbarylane]

Just think when we first get introduced to all these people, we are told they have careers, lifes, and are ready to find the right one to settle into eternally wedded bliss. 

 

I think I may begin doubting their sincerity!

[Rhondinella]

They played "Almost Paradise"

 

 

Well, it's a good match for the circa 1986 font they use for the title card.

 

http://www.hngn.com/articles/35502/20140708/bachelor-paradise-spoilers-new-sneak-peek-video-features-lots-kissing.htm

[Jillybean]

The absolute worst part of this whole thing for me is the song "Almost Paradise".  It was actually my first dance song when my ex and I got married in 1987.  *sigh*

 

It makes me think of Beth and Lujack doing it for the first time on Guiding Light as this was the song for that scene.  Heh.

Edited July 10, 2014 by Jillybean

[ramble]

Staying in the Bachelor universe, I imagine that song playing when Claire & Juan Pablo were almost in paradise for those few moments in the ocean. I apologize for putting that mental image in your mind & will go wash the skeeve off myself now.

[ShaNaeNae]

They ruin those oldie but goodie songs like "On the Wings of Love" for Pavelka.

 

Wasn't Bunn & Money a thang for a while after BP? Now they're side by side dating others?  Those 2 are lucky they're hot because their last names are not.

 

I find that MF seemingly wants to erase anything Bachelor Pad. It was one of the greatest things on TV. Then they cancel it for no good reason. Not one great reason. And say it's never, ever, ever going to be back. And then they bring back this travesty? 

 

 

Just think when we first get introduced to all these people, we are told they have careers, lifes, and are ready to find the right one to settle into eternally wedded bliss.

 

I find it all so mind boggling. It's like one day these people are totally normal, every day pharmaceutical reps. Then they go on TV being absolutely crazy about the lead no matter what they look like (Bob Guiney anyone?) and absolutely devastated at being let go.  Then months or years later they're here and there and everywhere doing this or that in the name of the franchise.  It's like they get into the special club, make imaginary money somehow and spend free time hanging out.

[Bella]

 

It's like they get into the special club, make imaginary money somehow and spend free time hanging out.

 

This is perfect.

[JenE4]

My guess is that Fleiss didn't bring back BP because that mean girl who lost (can't recall her name) sued him when Nick chose to "keep" the money and she got nothing even though it was the rules of the game. Anyway, I have such high expectations for Bachelor in Paradise that it will have been worth not having BP last summer and trading up to BiP this summer.

[Bugs Meany]

Really? I'm Bachelor-obsessed and never read that. They don't seem too concerned about lawsuits over perceived discrimination, which is far worse PR than a pissed-off game show loser. More likely they didn't want to pay another grand prize, which in a 4th season would have brought them to $1 million.

[leighdear]

Rachel sued Fleiss for Nick being smarter than her?  Amazing.  I thought that was the best part of the whole show.  Now THERE was a Nick that wasn't gonna take shit from anybody!  *LOL*

 

It had to be an expensive show, so BIP is definitely a cheaper alternative.  No prize money = more profits. 

 

Sad, because I loved BP. 

[ShaNaeNae]

I never heard that either about Rachel suing MF.  It's just, it's the rules of the game Rachel!

 

There's no money prize on BiP, but flying everyone back and forth to Mexico, plus renting some sort of mansion or resort couldn't be cheap. BP was held at the mansion the Bach/'ette episodes are filmed at, so I imagine if they don't own it, they must have it pretty cheap there.

 

I don't know...all I know is I'm really, really looking forward to tonight and it best not disappoint.

[chocolatine]

I never heard that either about Rachel suing MF.  It's just, it's the rules of the game Rachel!

 

 

She said in one post-show interview that she was "looking into" suing Nick - not Fleiss - because he had told her he was going to share the money (i.e. he played the game in which both of them were willing participants). That was the first and last I heard of it. She probably gave up on the idea after being laughed out of a few lawyer's offices. 

 

Anyhoo, bring on the trash! 

Edited August 4, 2014 by chocolatine

[ShaNaeNae]

Wow. If that would have actually worked, think of all the lawsuits that could come into play. Claire can sue Juan Pablo for telling her he can't wait until they have kids. Nick can sue Andi for "making love" to him in the FS, therefore physically telling him this is the first lovemaking of their entire lives.

 

Oh Rachel. Keep those looks cause it sounds like there's not much else going on...

[JenE4]

I most likely am wrong about the details of who Rachel was allegedly suing or whether she actually went through with the lawsuit. I just remember reading about that on TWoP when it happened. If no one else remembers, then take it with a grain of salt. It probably was Rachel just threatening to sue in follow-up interviews but not actually going through with it because, well, she had no case and would have been laughed out of court anyway. I think in my mind I just made that into more than it was to justify why we didn't have BP the next (last) summer.

[ramble]

I loved when Nick kept the money on BP. Loved it so much I actually stood up in my living room & cheered. I'm glad I was alone.

I just let my kids start watching The Bachelor/ette with Des' season. They've seen the BiP ads & desperately want to watch but I've said no due to the sleaze factor. As a family we make fun of The Bachelor & it's search for true love, but I don't think I want them watching an hour long hook up show, no matter how much it can be made fun of. I'm going to have to sneak off in my room to watch while they're busy or wait until they're in bed. As if I didn't feel like the show was going to be skeevy enough I'm having to hide my habit.

[leighdear]

I loved when Nick kept the money on BP. Loved it so much I actually stood up in my living room & cheered. I'm glad I was alone.

I scared the hell out my cat when I did exactly the same thing! 

[lulee]

I most likely am wrong about the details of who Rachel was allegedly suing or whether she actually went through with the lawsuit. I just remember reading about that on TWoP when it happened. If no one else remembers, then take it with a grain of salt. It probably was Rachel just threatening to sue in follow-up interviews but not actually going through with it because, well, she had no case and would have been laughed out of court anyway. I think in my mind I just made that into more than it was to justify why we didn't have BP the next (last) summer.

I don't know anything about the Rachel/Nick situation in particular, but I recall reading something about language in contracts for shows like Big Brother that prevent deals for splitting winnings.

[deSchenke]

So, as far as I can see, the show is about over.  Who is in handcuffs?  I don't recall any explanation of what we saw in the previews.