Explain it to Me Like I'm Lily: Recaps for the Disenchanted

[peach]

Tue, Nov 11       Extremely Personal

 

Hey, it’s Paul.  I’ve kind of missed the baby blue sweater.  He’s checking on the background status of Joe Clark.  It turns out he’s from the planet Krypton.   Christine comes to visit, and is strangely less of a nag than usual.  She wants to make out instead.  Paul also finds this suspicious.  Where’s all this coming from?  Well, Chris has realized that she has no fans. 

 

She says things have finally settled down after his gunshot wound and finding out about his 40yo baby…so maybe it’s time to pick up their little project again.  Unless, of course, there’s some reason he’s changed his mind about having a baby baby.  Paul looks like he just tasted a gluten free cookie.

 

Oh, show, you know how much I hate you after last week, so today you’re bringing me Superman at the gym.  Well played.  Cane and Joe are having a great time boxing.  Maybe they were talking about something, too, I’m, uh, really not sure. 

 

Avery has her glasses on.  She is serious about not letting Joe steal Crimson Lights out from under Dylan.  They have books and stuff.  Dylan’s working on Hidden Pictures.  “Not without a fight,” says Avery, “a LEGAL one.”  Dylan asks what fun is that?  She means it, Dylan, no more using your fists to make a point.  They have better options.  Dylan’s mystified at what other option there could be besides a rumble.  She thinks they may be able to appeal to the Landmarks Commission to shut this deal down.  I think her neckline is part of this appeal. 

 

Dylan knows he should apologize for hitting Joe, but he had it coming.  These betrayed spouses are SUCH A PITA.  Avery says NOT to make it personal.  Oh, yeah, well her EX is the one making it personal by coming to Dylan’s town.  “And we both know it’s not just real estate he’s after.”  Avery might want to put some of her real estate away, then.

 

Stitch is ordering ahead for his super special dinner with Victoria.  He wants tonight to be perfect when he drops a dime on a family member.  Apple tart sounds just right for betraying your mom.  Abby interrupts.  She says it’s going to take a lot more than dessert to win Victoria back.  Supposedly he has Something Important to tell her, but whatever he says won’t make a difference.  Have you noticed, Stitch, that Vicky’s ALREADY running her mouth about your secret, and she doesn’t even know what it is yet?  Abby says Vicky has a million reasons not to trust him, so don’t be surprised if she stands him up.

 

Sherlock Victoria is telling Maureen that Ben didn’t kill his father…Kelly did.  “KELLY WAS AWAY AT SCHOOL WHEN HER FATHER DIED!” shrieks Maureen.  “You expect me to take your WORD for that?” asks Victoria.  Mo says she can check with the registrar, there is NOTHING TO FIND.  Vicky thinks she wouldn’t be getting this upset if there wasn’t something to it.  What’s the rest??  THERE IS NO REST!  Jeez, people can probably hear her out in the parking lot. 

 

“What are you trying to be so protective of?  Or should I say who?” sneers Vicky.  “It’s not Kelly, and God knows it isn’t Ben…so who was it?”  Omggggg, gasps genius Vicky.  “It was you.  YOU!  YOU killed your husband, and you let your son take the blame???”  Sounds like something a Newman would do.  Mo’s gasping for breath.

 

Joe and Cane box some more.  Blah blah, yum yum.  Joe’s client is going to redo the whole warehouse district, it’s a good thing.  Progress doesn’t always make sense, says Cane.  There’s a coffee house at stake.  Joe tells Cane it’s time to get out of the kiddie pool and into the deep end with the big fish.  And his dad thinks so, too.  Cane says his dad won’t stop til he gets what he wants, especially when he smells blood.

 

Colin’s at Jack’s office and sees Hilary sitting at his desk.  He remembers seeing Devon and Hilary’s despondent hallway kissing.  Hilary says Jack’s at an important meeting.  Actually, he’s there to see Hilary.  About someone…close to her heart.  Ahh, blackmail is the simplest way to raise cash, is it not?

 

Neil and Devon sit down at the club.  Devon’s so proud of how Neil’s doing in his Braille class.  Neil’s realized he can’t sit around waiting for his sight to come back, there’s too much he wants to do.  Devon knows he misses Jabot, and thinks learning Braille will help him get back to work…in fashion design.   No way, Neil’s motivation is wanting to read to his son!   And the baby he’s planning on having with Hilary!  Devon spazzes so hard he breaks a glass! 

 

Stitch follows Abby because he has news for her.  Even if Victoria stands him up, she’s not running back to Billy.  That ship sailed when they got divorced, and Billy moved in with Chelsea.   Well, we’ll see how fast things change when Uncle Billy finds out the baby is his.  IF it’s his, says Stitch.  And even if it is, that won’t make up for everything Billy’s put her through.  “You keep telling yourself that, but deep down inside you know those two belong together.”  Stitch laughs.  “Maybe in that adolescent romance novel mind of yours.”   Burn. 

 

He tells her the real world isn’t pretty and tied up in a nice, little bow. Some things can’t be undone.  “Well, you ought to know,” snipes Abby.  Ugh, she galls him so much, yet he can’t stop talking to her.  Blah blah, nothing he says will make any difference.   Even if it doesn’t, says Stitch, it’s long past time for the truth to come out.

 

Maureen says Victoria is talking CRAZY.  “How could you do it to him?  How could you let him plead guilty to a murder he didn’t commit!”  He did, he did! cries Maureen, who seems about to pass out.  “You want to keep sticking to that, go ahead, but it’s not going to do you any good!”  She pulls out her pink phone.  She’s going to call the police!  Are you kidding me?  Victoria’s an idiot.  “Don’t!” shouts Mo, struggling over the phone.  “Give me a reason, then!  And it better be good!”  Um, you have no evidence?  Why would the GC police even care?  Maybe you should actually talk to Ben first, you controlling Newman freak.

 

Chris asks Paul if he’s decided that finding Dylan is enough for him?  That he doesn’t need to do the whole baby thing?  Dylan’s enough baby for anyone.  Paul says it’s a privilege to get to know Dylan, he admires the kind of person he is.  He fights and stands up for the people he loves, usually with disastrous results.  Chris says it IS in his genes.   Even so, Paul thinks it would special to play a REAL role in a child’s life from the very beginning.  It would feel like doing something lasting with the woman he loves.  “Are we back on board?” asks Chris.  “The sooner the better!”  Well, yeah, you’re old.  They kiss.  Harding interrupts with Paul’s abuse of power report.  Oh, goody, it might have info that’s important.  “Important to who?” asks Chris.  Baby Dylan, of course.

 

Okay, Avery admits that what Joe’s doing COULD possibly indicate he’s striking back at Dylan for breaking up their marriage.  Blah blah, Dylan pouts.  He thinks Joe wants Avery back.  “Well, too bad.  I’m already taken.  Maybe you need some more convincing.”  Again with Joe’s $5000 suits and [impossible gorgeousness] slickness.  Avery says there is no competition, because Dylan’s already won.  Kissy kissy.  He leaves, and Avery randomly searches her law books.  She feels a hand on her shoulder, and thinks it’s Dylan, but it’s Joe!  That suit is breathtaking.   Avery gulps.

 

Abby thinks Stitch has a lot of nerve to talk about the truth.  How many versions of the truth can one person have?   Okay, so Stitch may have misrepresented the truth with an entirely fake identity, but hey, his first name really is Ben.  And he’s done with all that now. 

 

Abby admits Stitch is an EXCEPTIONAL chemist, lol, but how is he going to make this formula work?  It will work because Victoria WANTS it to work.  She knows he’s a great guy and will always be there for her (ALWAYS), and never cheat on her, or push her away.  He will treat her the way she deserves to be treated.  The truth is going to cost him bigtime, but he loves Special Snowflake that much.  “It won’t be enough,” says Abby.  “That right there is a sure sign that you don’t know what love is,” says Stitch, sort of like her brother doesn't  That kind of hit Abby where it hurts.  “But thank God Victoria does,” he declares.

 

Meanwhile, loving Victoria is trying to call the cops on his mom.  Maureen is TIRED of all this drama!  She calmingly shouts in Vicky’s face that she NEEDS TO STAY CALM FOR THE BABY!!!  It’s her responsibility!  “What about YOUR responsibility, to YOUR children,” snaps Vicky.  “Where was THAT when Ben took the fall for you?  He was a teenager and you turned your back on him?”  I never did, cries Mo.  “You kept your mouth shut because all you care about is yourself!”  Are you kidding her?!  Ben and Kelly mean EVERYTHING to her.  That’s why she did it!  “I killed their father to save them!” Victoria stares.

 

Hilary would appreciate it if Colin stopped with the riddles and tells her what he wants  from her.  “Not from you.  For you.”  He’s Jerry Maguire now.  Help me, help you.  He feels in some small way he should be helping care for Neil.  His daughter married Colin’s son, so they’re connected.  Hilary can smell the bullshit, and says Neil already has an active support system around him. 

 

“Especially you, right?” says Colin.  “He is SO lucky having such a beautiful, young woman as yourself caring for him.  In terms of well-being for a man, that’s much more important than Devon’s billions and what they could provide for him.  Not that I have anything against your stepson.”  He says it’s so[hilarious] weird calling him that, since he’s Hilary’s age.  He guesses it’s true what they say about love, age doesn’t really make a difference.  Hilary can see the writing on the wall, but she says she has to get back to work.  Colin adds a dig about how great it is that she’s mended fences with Lily, too.  He leaves.

 

Cane notices the broken glass cleanup and asks if there was an accident.  Neil’s glad for once it wasn’t the blind guy,  it was the owner of the club.  “One mention of BABIES, and GC’s most eligible bachelor just loses his mind.”  Cane looks at Devon with contempt.  Neil says the bachelor isn’t so eligible anymore, though, is he?  When do we get to meet her?  Now Cane's dripping with contempt.  Yeah, he was wondering that himself.  Devon smirks. 

 

His phone rings.  Hey, uh, he can’t talk right now.  Cane stares holes into him.  Hilary’s freaked out about the weird visit from Colin.  It wasn’t what he said, it was what he didn’t say.  “He couldn’t know about us, could he?”  Colin’s lurking around the corner waiting for her to say this very thing.   Devon says they’ll have to talk later about it.  He hangs up.  Neil’s excited.  That was HER, wasn’t it?  Cane rolls his eyes in disgust.

 

Aww, Abby’s going to cwy because Stitch hurt her feewings.  Stitch feels bad for some reason.  He says he didn’t mean to hurt her feelings or question her heart, but she was doubting his epic love for Victoria, and he couldn’t let that go.  “Well, you didn’t have to be such a jerk about it,” says the woman who publicly savages him at every opportunity.  He genuinely apologizes anyway.  He just wants her to understand!  You know what, she gets it.  She might not like it or trust it, but she bets it.  “Ben, if you meant half of what you said, if love like that really does exist, then Victoria is the luckiest woman in the world,” she says softly. 

 

Vicky says Mo can’t stop now, tell her why Ben and Kelly needed saving.  She cries and tells the Sad Story about Richard losing his job and blaming Maureen for everything.  After a while you start to believe that stuff is true.  When he finally started smacking her, she just stood there and took it, she says sadly.  “Omg, Maureen,” whispers Vicky.  Seriously?  Didn’t Stitch TELL you he was an abusive SOB? 

 

So Richard drank day and night and started in on Ben.   “He hit Ben?” Vicky asks sadly.  Also not news.  Mo says she was so afraid Kelly would be next.  “Is that why you sent her away to school?” with no income.  Yeah.  “Why didn’t you call Social Services?” asks Vicky.  Mo laughs bitterly.  Richard says if she did, he’d kill them both, and she believed him! 

 

Her sweet boy took his beatings and never said a word, but he couldn’t take his mom getting smacked around.  She knew he wouldn’t let that continue, so she was terrified of what Ben might do.  On that fateful night, Richard was wasted in the workshop and attacking Mo, so Ben came running in and pushed her out.  She went to call the police because she was afraid somebody was gonna get killed.  But then she saw Ben run out and into the woods.  She checked the shed, and Richard was so drunk he just collapsed when Ben punched him.  So she looked around at all the paint cans and rags and pulled a Farrah Fawcett.  Burned the damn thing down.   AND SHE DID NOT LOOK BACK!   She stares at Vicky.  “Until now.”  You know, it’s a really good thing no one else works at Jabot.

 

Vicky kindly hands Mo a bottle of water.  She gently says that she is so sorry Maureen had to suffer like that.  She just wishes someone had been there for her so she didn’t feel she had to do that.   Oh, well, TIME FOR JAIL!  Mo’s like what?? She starts going off on Maureen for taking Ben’s life away from him. THAT WAS HIS CHOICE, shouts Mo.  “I’da gone to prison for LIFE.  Ben was just a minor, they wouldn’t keep him for long.  He confessed to protect ME!”  “He wasn’t responsible for YOU,” snaps Vicky.  “You should have stood up right away!  He lost his career, his wife and son, he lost it all!  When is enough enough, Maureen!”  The daughter of a double murderer runs off with Mo chasing her.

 

Stitch says if Victoria will let him, he will devote himself to her.  This can be a second chance for both of them, if she’s willing to take it.  That’s why he thinks she’ll show up tonight.  She’s too busy trying to get your mom put away without even discussing it with you.  “We’ll see,” says Abby.  Stitch says if they’re going to work together, they should table any more discussions about love and stick to business.  “Because I don’t think you know anything about love, Abby.”  Not like Stitch and his backseat tequila trysts. 

 

Abby frowns.  She’s been in love before, okay?  He asks how can that be true??  “I can’t believe you’re saying that to me.”  He says please don’t get mad, but he can’t listen to her anymore.  “You talk about love constantly.  You make pronouncements, you give advice, sometimes terrible advice!”  This is rocking Abby’s world, and she seems to be taking this dead seriously.  “I mean well,” she says.  “I believe you.  That’s what’s so sad.”  He believes she means good things, but she hurts people she cares about.  “If you knew what love was..you wouldn’t do that.”  Abby weakly counter argues that he’s just saying that because all her advice is pro-Billy and anti-Stitch.  No, Stitch is saying it because he likes her, despite himself.  “And I can’t stand hearing you be so wrong.”  She gets up and leaves.

 

Harding says Joe Clark is Mr. Clean.  He even pays his taxes, volunteers at the local boys club, and donates at the blood bank.  Duh, he’s SUPERMAN.   Chris says he’s either one of the good guys or too good to be true.  Just the same, Paul wants him to keep digging on an innocent person.  And find out who his investors are and why they want to buy property here.   And hey, Harding, question the club staff about Joe, too.  That seems fair.  Chris calls it due diligence.  She asks if it’s the chief of police talking or the father of his son.  A little of both, he says.  They kiss, and Baby Dylan comes barging in.  Daaaaaddy, I need to talk to you about harassing Joe Clark!

 

Meanwhile, Smokin’ Joe is talking to Avery.  She says most people make an appointment.  But he’s not looking to hire her.  He sits on her desk.   She is super flustered.  “Then why are you HERE, Joe?”  “To advise you you’re wasting a lot of time and effort fighting your boyfriend’s battle for him.”  Oh yeah, well Dylan’s fight is HER fight, too.  That’s what happens when two people LOVE each other and SHARE everything together! 

 

“Well, isn’t that sweet,” he purrs.  “But I’ll advise you that the people I work for don’t take no for answer.”  Did he or didn’t he know that Dylan’s business was part of this deal??  Joe told her, it’s nothing personal.  Avery says that doesn’t answer her question.  “Okay, so the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?  What if it was?  What if it was extremely personal?”   Oh, my.

 

Neil visits Hilary.  She pretends she’s upset about some deal that went south, with a pesky dealer.   Risky lie considering he sort of works there.  Neil says he’ll give him the beat down with his cane.  Ha.  Okay, so he wants to meet Devon’s special lady and they should invite her to dinner.  Hilary’s like…yeah.

 

Colin arrives at the club to toy with hapless Devon.  “If it isn’t Genoa City’s favorite billionaire.”  People flock to his club just to be near him.  Devon’s like, huh?  They just love the club.  Colin says the club’s all right, it kind of IS the center of the GC universe.  “Ya know, you can see at any time, almost anyone, doing anything, to anybody?”  Devon says whatever that means.  “Oh, I think you know what it means.” 

 

Cane has noticed them, so Colin says they’ll continue this convo later, and takes off.  Cane asks Devon what HE wanted?   Devon says it was just a business proposition.  I had to listen five times to understand Cane saying, “I hope for your sake, you said no sale.”  Of course, Devon wouldn’t even shake hands with that guy without checking for his wallet.  Good, because he has shady business practices.  “Thersombyinim,” I think he says.  So Devon needs to stay strong.

 

“I know a thing or two about love,” Abby gripes to herself at the bar.   Devon asks her if she’s alright.  She’s fine, “unless you ask the very opinionated former doctor with kind of a square head.”  Devon laughs.  She asks Devon what being in love is like, what is she missing?  Devon says, “Love…is dangerous.  It can pick you up and whip you around like a ragdoll, and you have no idea where you’re gonna land.”  No, it’s Neil that’s going to do that.  “But if it’s real, you know someone’s always going to be there to catch you.”  And drive you to the hospital.

 

Abby says she’s never felt that way before.  Is that how Devon felt with Roxy?  Ummm, yeah.  Why is she being so weird?  Because someone had the audacity to tell her she shouldn’t be giving out relationship advice because she’s never been in love.  Devon scoffs. That’s not true!  “Maybe it is,” says Abby.  “Carmine: not love.  Chavez: cute, but not love.  Tyler…”  Devon says that was real, right?  She’s not sure.  The whipped around like a ragdoll part was, but she never knew if he was going to catch her.  Devon says that’s the most important part.  Abby sighs.  As much as she hates the idea of giving up on badgering people with her advice, she may need to find a new hobby.  OMG.  Stitch CHANGED HER.

 

“You did come here to stick it to Dylan!” accuses Avery.  Joe came here to broker a real estate transaction!  BUT, when he saw what was going on between her and Dylan, it became something more.  “I couldn’t sit back and watch you give your life away to a glorified barista!”  Avery’s furious.  Just because someone’s not on a fast track to being a millionaire, they’re somehow inferior to him!  Well, Dylan is so much more than that! 

 

“You know, I bet he is.  And by me taking Crimson Lights off his hands, it will give him the opportunity to prove to you that he’s worthy,” he says smugly.  LMAO.  It’s for your own good, Dylan!!  LOL  “And who are you to judge who is worthy of me?”  Someone who still cares about her.  Someone who wants the BEST for her.  She’s like, uh-huh, WHERE was this concern for her when they were married?  When he worked all the time and ignored her and withheld affection from her?? 

 

He jumps up.  “And that justifies you CHEATING ON ME?”  Hey, she turned to someone was GOOD and KIND to married women, who gave her the attention that HE never did!!  “You gave up on us!,” shouts Joe.  “You let that guy turn your head, instead of hashing things out with me!   We could've gone to therapy, given this a true effort.  But instead, you BAILED on me, just like you bailed on Nick Newman, and just like YOU’RE GONNA BAIL ON DYLAN when he lets you down!”  WHACK!  Avery slaps him across the face!

 

Maureen’s chased Victoria down into the parking garage.  Vicky is going to clear Ben’s name!!  It’s always a super good idea to TELL a murderer you’re turning them in.  “If they put me away, my life will be over!” cries Mo.  “Yeah, well Ben will be getting his life BACK.  I think that’s the least you can do as his mother,” she shouts.  I’m sure he’ll really appreciate it.  Maureen grabs her and throws her into an open janitor’s closet!  Good!  I’ve been wanting to throw Victoria in a closet for a over a month. “What are you doing?” screams Vicky.  “Let me out!”

 

Paul says please don’t tell him Dylan took another swing at Clark.  No, he’s letting Avery handle things.  She’s trying to legally block him from buying up the crummy warehouse district.  Paul lets him know he’s already checked Joe out and he’s legit.  Blah blah.  Paul reminds Dylan to let Avery, and the law, fight Joe Clark.

 

Joe rubs his cheek.  Avery says she can’t believe she just did that.  It’s probably from hanging around Dylan.  “Passion like that tells me everything I need to know,” says Joe. What, that he got under her skin, that he pushed her buttons?  “That you still have feelings for me.”   He grabs her and kisses her!

 

Abby’s still talking to herself.  “Don’t think I know about love, do you?” she asks angrily.  Harding happens by and asks if she was talking to him.  “Does it LOOK LIKE I’m talking to you?”  Harding looks around.  Then who?  “Listen, Starsky,” says Abby, “I’m not in the mood for harassment, so you can go use your line on someone else!”  Harding laughs!   His LINE??  “Yes,” sneers Abby.  “I’ve dated a cop before, I know what you’re up to.” 

 

“Hey, Princess?” says Harding.  “If I was using a line on you?  We’d already be leaving together.”  Abby’s like, omg!  Maybe that’s why she doesn’t know about love, because she keeps meeting guys like him!  She storms off.  Harding laughs and walks off.

 

Stitch is trying to call Vicky, but her phone is lying on the garage floor.  Vicky’s pounding on the closet door and begging Maureen to let her out.  Girl, you better hope she doesn’t light you on fire.  Vicky says to let her out for the BABY at least!  Mo freaks out.  She grabs Vicky’s purse and phone and throws them  in the trash.

 

Next on The Young & The Restless:  Faith tells Nick he’s a LIAR!  Go, Faith!

[movinon]

 

Oh, show, you know how much I hate you after last week, so today you’re bringing me Superman at the gym.  Well played.  Cane and Joe are having a great time boxing.  Maybe they were talking about something, too, I’m, uh, really not sure.

Oh wow.....this...a thousand times.  Gorgeous, sweaty, smiley Joe, in all his glory, AND with messy hair.  I guess Cane was there, too - I didn't notice.  Is there even one person in the world who doesn't think he's unbelievable?  If so, line up to be flogged.  Of course, I don't mean with greasy hair and suits, but for real, like in these scenes.  

[Foghorn Leghorn]

Joe just plain smoulders!!!  Who cares who else is in a scene!  Cane used to be the sexpot now he looks like a little boy while Joe towers over him.  I imagined Joe putting his gloved hand on Cane's forehead while Cane kept swinging frantically but couldn't reach him because his arms weren't long enough and he wasn't bright enough to knock Joe's arm off his forehead!  LOL  I forget the cartoon it came from.  

 

I think we.....swoon....... need a Joe thread.  

Edited November 13, 2014 by Foghorn Leghorn

[peach]

Actually, I think he adds a little shine to Cane, too.  Cane's into him, too.  Haha.

 

I'm liking Cane lately.  I like the grief he gives Devon.

[peach]

I also enjoyed Joe calling her out for bailing on Nick, too.  Not that I give a crap about Nick.

I also enjoyed Joe calling her out for bailing on Nick, too.  Not that I give a crap about Nick.

[peach]

Joe just plain smoulders!!!  Who cares who else is in a scene!  Cane used to be the sexpot now he looks like a little boy while Joe towers over him.  I imagined Joe putting his gloved hand on Cane's forehead while Cane kept swinging frantically but couldn't reach him because his arms weren't long enough and he wasn't bright enough to knock Joe's arm off his forehead!  LOL  I forget the cartoon it came from.  

 

I think we.....swoon....... need a Joe thread.  

 

A Joe thread would just be all swoons and thuds.  lol   My God, have you seen pictures of this guy with a 10 day beard?  I mean, there are no words.

[Canadian]

Joe just plain smoulders!!!  Who cares who else is in a scene!  Cane used to be the sexpot now he looks like a little boy while Joe towers over him.  I imagined Joe putting his gloved hand on Cane's forehead while Cane kept swinging frantically but couldn't reach him because his arms weren't long enough and he wasn't bright enough to knock Joe's arm off his forehead!  LOL  I forget the cartoon it came from.  

 

I think we.....swoon....... need a Joe thread.  

This guy totally belongs with Sharon, those two in a scene would be breathtaking....

[Slowpokey]

This guy totally belongs with Sharon, those two in a scene would be breathtaking....

Absolutely! Come on writers and make this dream couple happen!!!!

[photo fox]

I think we.....swoon....... need a Joe thread.  

 

A Joe thread would just be all swoons and thuds.  lol   My God, have you seen pictures of this guy with a 10 day beard?  I mean, there are no words.

 

Ask and ye shall receive....  Joe Clark: Super Hot

 

Let me know if you think of a better title.

[Slowpokey]

Ask and ye shall receive....  Joe Clark: Super Hot

 

Let me know if you think of a better title.

I like that one just fine!!! ((;

[ByTor]

Is there even one person in the world who doesn't think he's unbelievable?  If so, line up to be flogged.

*Raises hand sheepishly*  I just don't see it.

[glowlights]

Cane notices the broken glass cleanup and asks if there was an accident.  Neil’s glad for once it wasn’t the blind guy,  it was the owner of the club.

 

Maybe I shouldn't admit that this made me laugh so hard I couldn't answer the phone, but in my defense you were talking about Neil.

 

I had high hopes that Kelly would continue the reality-checkin' she started in Jack's office and show up in the Jabot hallway to remind Victoria of all the things HER parents have done over the years. Maureen's transgression is small potatoes in comparison and at least she (allegedly) had a good excuse. Maybe Victoria can think about that while she hangs out with the utility brooms.

[peach]

Wed, Nov 12        An Episode In Which Peach Yells A Lot

 

Victoria is pounding on the door and begging Maureen to let her out of the closet.  Man, that’s a lot of tools in the closet, maybe she could use them to… Vicky keeps pounding the door.  This baby could be her grandchild!  Please don’t leave her like this!

 

Stitch is acting so jittery at Crimson Lights that even Dylan notices.  Stitch says he’s gotta keep checking in with Victoria because they have a big date tonight.  Dylan’s like dude, good plan.  Just crowd her before you even get to dinner.  Hey, he’s JUST TRYING TO TOUCH BASE, okay?  This might be the most important date of his life, so he needs to call her 17 times in a row.  “This is my one and best shot to win Victoria back.”  Dylan’s face says, winning someone back:  you’re doing it wrong.

 

Avery pushes Joe’s lips off her.  “I’m not your wife, Joe!”  He was caught up in the moment, okay?  “What, are you gonna slap me again?”  Avery stares in some sort of consternation/possible arousal.

 

So whinebox Summer is at The Underground, telling Austin the whole DNA switch story.  “So after a year of punishing Nick and being a jerk to him, I only had one dad.”  Wow, it was just like that, right?  She was only halfway up Nick’s ass instead of all the way.  Summer talks about how wonderful Jack is and how patient Saint Nick is.  Austin says they both love the pwetty pwincess.   Summer says they love her more than she deserves [all] half the time.  Blah waaaah blah.  “And now we know that none of it had to happen.  None of it had to be like this.”  IKR?  If Nick hadn’t lied when she was born, none of this would be happening.  And she wouldn't have a free Barbie Townhouse or Malibu husband, all due to her "downward spiral."  NONE OF THIS WOULD BE HAPPENING, SUMMER.

 

Mariah's come in and hears this crap.  “Omg.  You are ACTUALLY whining again.  You DO realize other people exist besides yourself?  Like Shick, who, btw, didn’t get married.  Again.”   Summer is pissed.  “You actually feel bad for that BITCH, Sharon.”  Ooo, them’s fightin’ words.

 

Nick comes by the cottage.  Sharon says she keeps wanting to call this dick, but she knows that he still needs time.  Nick came to [get even] pick up HIS daughter, that’s the only reason he’s there.  “This is Faith’s home, Nick.  Where she feels safe, and loved.  By us.  This is OUR home.”  Nick is unmoved.  He came to pick up Faith, is she ready or not? 

 

Sharon implores him that it’s too soon.  I might add that he doesn’t HAVE CUSTODY.  Sharon says Faith came home confused about why the wedding didn’t happen.  She needs both of them right now.  “What she needs is STABILITY,” says Nick, “that’s why I’m here” to rip it out from under her to teach you a lesson.  Faith runs down the stairs.  “Daddy!” she smiles.  “Now can we finally have the wedding party?”  No, dear, it’s time to leave your beloved home forever to make Daddy feel better.

 

Phyllis is staring at the “I love you” texts on Jack’s phone.  “When was this?  This, this, this…was the day I woke up.”  Okay, she can kind of deal with that, so he needed someone to comfort him.  This is an old text, she tells herself.  Be-da-beep!  Jack gets a NEW text from Kelly:  “I will wait for you as long as it takes.  Today made me believe in us.”  Because I am crazy.   Phyllis’ jaw drops.  HER phone starts ringing.  It’s Jack calling from Jabot.  She answers, and Jack says to be able to call and actually hear her voice is still a surprise.   And he has to say he’s always so grateful.  Her face hardens.

 

“MAUREEN!  OPEN!!” cries Victoria.  Mo’s just standing outside the door, kind of rocking back and forth.  Vicky says she knows how much this child means to her.  “I wouldn’t hurt a baby,” gasps Maureen.  Okay, then let her out.  “I don’t trust you,” says Mo.  Oh, don’t worry, Vicky won’t tell anyone!  She won’t tell the police she started the fire.  “YOU’RE LYING!” cries Mo.  Duh.

 

Vicky says Ben won’t be happy about this, he’ll be angry!  Think this through!   Mo says Ben has stood up for her all his life, and he’ll do it again now, after she locked up his baby mama.  Vicky starts freaking out and really screaming, so Mo runs over to a handy control panel for the exhaust system.  She turns on all the loud fans to drown out Vicky’s voice.   She can still hear her though, so she puts her hands over her ears and staggers around. 

 

Sharon sits with Faith and says she knows this is so confusing, but they all love her so much.  Nick sits and explains that he and Mommy didn’t get married without her.  There’s not going to be a wedding, or a party. “You’re waiting again?” asks Faith.  “When will you finally do it?”  Nick hesitates.  Sharon says things are just so complicated sometimes.  Nick says “we” decided it’s not gonna happen.  Not now, not later.   “Is this like before?” asks Faith, “When you said people can be in love and not be married?”  Sharon looks hopeful, like, yeah, is it like that?? 

 

Nick says they love HER more than anything and that’s not going to change.  But “we” have decided that we’re not going to live together.   So he’s going to move to the tack house and she’s going to come with him.  Faith turns up her nose.  Gross.  It’s all dusty, and no one lives there!  And it has a bar fridge.  Sharon says Daddy’s been staying there.   Nick acts like this is just fine, and says she can have her old room and bring her stuff and it will be just like before.  Faith glares.  “NO.  You said you would marry Mommy.  YOU’RE A LIAR!”  She runs away.  Nick looks hurt.  Awww.  Poor, lying Nick.

 

Mariah asks Summer what the hell her problem is?  Summer realizes “she” doesn’t even know what happened.  “SHE is standing right here, and if you have something to say to HER?”  “We officially know where you got your lying genes from!” spits Summer.  Mariah says to get over herself.  Summer snaps that last year, Sharon switched the results of her paternity test.  “That’s how twisted and deranged she is!  She wanted everyone to think Jack was my dad.”  Wait, why was there a paternity test last year again?  Oh, that’s right, because Nick wanted everyone to think Jack WASN’T your dad.

 

Mariah is a bit stunned by this revelation.  Summer thinks she should run home and compare notes with Sharon on all the screwed up things they both pull.  “Mariah isn’t Sharon,” chastises Austin.  “No, she’s not Sharon, but she just wants to throw a little pity party for her mom who didn’t get to have a wedding,” bitches Summer. 

 

She thinks it’s a complete joke for Mariah to act like she even cares about Sharon since she was the one who tried to push her over the edge.  “Then again, every sick head game you pulled on Sharon, she EARNED IT.  That and more!”  Kinda like your mom earned a header down the stairs.  Mariah’s putting the pieces together.  “You’re the daughter,” she says quietly.  “The one that Sharon lied to Nick about.”  Summer’s like, you KNEW what Sharon did??

 

Phyllis is silent, so Jack asks if she’s there.  “Did I lose you?”  I see what they did there.  She finally says she’s there.  So, Red, have you seen his phone?  The one she’s holding in her hand?  Nope, she hasn’t seen it.  She asks when he’ll be home.   “Well, everything’s handled here, so I’m on my way.”   Phyllis says she’ll be waiting for him.

 

Mariah says she has no idea what Sharon did.  Summer’s like you JUST said she lied to Nick. She tells them about Sharon talking in her sleep.  Summer can’t believe she didn’t tell anyone!  Mariah doesn’t admit that she did tell Victor and set this whole thing in motion.  Actually, Summer owes her big time.  Hey, it was a dream.  People think they can fly or run naked through grocery stores.  Why would Mariah just assume, hey, I bet she messed with someone’s DNA results?! 

 

Summer thinks that’s bullshit.  Mariah was the first person to know Sharon even HAD a secret, and then she heard this?  Maybe she’s just been blackmailing Sharon, and that’s why she took her in like a stray cat!  “She took me in because she’s a decent person,” retorts Mariah.  “She’s disgusting, and you two deserve each other!!” says Summer.  (My kid is home sick, sleeping on the couch, and he just mumbled, excuse me, whose husband kidnapped her aunt and attempted to kill her?) 

 

Peacemaker Austin says this conversation is a bad idea, so why doesn’t Mariah go check on the storeroom.  Or better yet, just go home.  She’s like, really?  “I work here.”  “Yeah,” sneers Bar Stool Warmer Summer, “to the man that Sharon lied to.  Good luck with that.”  Mariah says, “Summer, from what I’ve heard, your mother wasn’t exactly a saint before she took her long nap.  So why don’t you STOP throwing stones.”  DO NOT TALK ABOUT HER MOMMA!  They’re about to pounce on each other, but Austin gets in the middle.  “Mariah, you don’t want to do this.”

 

THE GREATEST SPEECH EVER:  “YOU, and your DRAMA, and your WHINING, and your ISSUES!!  Omg,” she  mocks, “for a year, I was confused about which super-rich, great guy is my dad!  Try growing up with a woman who didn’t want you at all, and NO father!  And then you tell me how rough YOU’VE had it.  GROW UP, PRINCESS, AND GO TO HELL!”   She storms out.  I might have watched that a few times.  Pwetty Pwincess sticks out her bottom lip.

 

Sharon tells Nick that Faith’s confused.  “You made her so many promises…to go back on all that now…”  Nick asks what’s her solution?  To lie to her and let her think there’s a chance for them when there’s not?  “It doesn’t have to be a lie,” says Sharon.  NO, Sharon, NO!  Nick gets all agitated and says this is the way things are now, and he’s going to make sure Faith knows now, not later.  Sharon reminds him that Faith is a child, and she’s upset.  “Do you think I want any of this?  Because I don’t.”  He goes all Victor on her and says he TOLD HER HE WAS TAKING FAITH HOME WITH HIM, so if she would like to help make that easier for her, then PLEASE help him do that, but it’s time for them to go home!

 

Sharon punches him in the throat!   Just kidding.  She says Faith ran up to her room, does he really want to drag her out of there?  Of course not.  “Let her spend the night here, where she’s safe.  She’s at home.”  As legal documents state.   What if she wakes up in the middle of the night?  Maybe, he should be there, too, on the sofa at least.  Yeah, that’s not going to work again, Sharon.  “I will NEVER stay another night here,” he growls.  But he’ll “let” Faith stay the night there.  How big of him.  Sharon says thank you instead of fuck you.  “It’s the right thing.  She needs to know her world isn’t turning upside down.”  “But it has,” he says, “for me, Summer, Jack, and Phyllis.”  So let’s drag Faith into it.  “And it’s all because of you,” hisses Nick, 18 year liar.

 

Avery says Joe’s kiss was technically battery, and if he tries it again, she’s calling the police.  He says it was an impulse.  She says it was a POWER PLAY, and an insult, and frankly, she doesn’t remember him taking cheap shots like that.  “How DO you remember me?”  She’s like, honestly, I DON’T think about you at all.  “Really?  Because you seem awfully worked up for someone who you don’t think about.”  She asks when did he get so smug??  And tall?  “And when did you lose your sense of humor?” 

 

She thinks clearly his business with Dylan is very personal, and he just showed his hand.  “Because I wanted to kiss you again?  Look, business and pleasure are two different things.”  He regrets there was too much of one and not the other when they were together.  “Well, you won’t be kissing me again.”  Joe says message received.  She shows a flicker of disappointment.  He’s like, seriously, this is the biggest deal of his career, and it could take him to the next level, so forgive him for being a little smug.  He asks for a truce.  Now Avery gets smug.  “Largest deal of your career, huh?  I don’t think it’s gonna work out for you, Joe.  I’ll see you in court.”  He leaves.  Avery leans on her desk, clearly overwhelmed by the whole thing.

 

Stitch gets a call from his mom.  He says they need to talk, and it’s all coming out.  No!  He doesn’t know what’s happened!  She’s leaving Jabot and getting in her car.  He’s like WHY are you still there?  She’s like, AAAH, OOOHH, OOOO, OH MAN, UHHH,  AAAAHH…Maureen goes all Fred Sanford and has the most melodramatic heart attack in the history of television and passes out on the floor!  Vicky keeps jiggling the door handle.

 

Stitch realizes something is way wrong with Mom.  Dylan says he’ll call 911, and Stitch should get to Jabot.  Stitch rushes out.  Dylan makes his call, and Joe walks in and interrupts.  Dylan’s like, not now, he has an urgent situation on his hands.  Joe says he’s not there to start trouble, but in the interest of [messing with your head] full disclosure, he saw Avery today. 

 

Nick’s come crawling to Avery for help.  I had to take a long break before I could bring myself to watch this part.  Good thing I did.  She’s seen this sad sack look before, what’s up?  Was it when she didn’t show up to their wedding?  She asks why he’s not on his honeymoon.  “Phyllis hasn’t told you?”  Why would Phyllis bother to tell Avery something so critical about Summer and Nick?  “Sharon and I are not getting married,” says Nick the Martyr.  Gasp!  He seemed so happy!  Nick says it wasn’t meant to be. 

 

Avery asks what Phyllis has to do with this.  Well, she found out that Summer really is his daughter.  Sharon messed with the paternity test that Nick messed with, and Jack was never really her dad.  Not the first time, not this time.  OMG!  So, Nick needs a lawyer.  Of course, whatever he needs.  Wait, he’s not thinking of SUING Sharon for damages, is he??  No. 

 

“It’s clear Sharon is STILL ill, and is making terrible decisions.  And I can’t really trust her with Faith right now.  So I need your help in getting full custody of my daughter.”  I JUST CAN’T WITH THIS GUY.  Sharon is not STILL ill, she’s finally well.  And he trusted her with Faith while she was clearly ill, and ADMITTED to hallucinating every damn day.  But now that she’s had ECT and is on meds, she’s dangerous.   SOMEONE MAKE THIS STOP.

 

Jack gets home.  Phyllis is waiting.  Listen, he needs to talk to you.  Business got in the way, but they need to set aside some time.  Phyllis agrees.  “We need to talk about what I found.”

 

Stitch comes rushing into the parking garage and finds his mom on the floor.  She’s half conscious, and Stitch tends to her while they wait for the ambulance.  Victoria must be taking a nap.   Oh wait, she’s just gently jiggling the door handle instead of pounding and screaming.  Good time to take a break, Vicky. 

 

Mariah gets home.  She thought she and Nick needed space, so she stayed at The Underground.  Sharon says a lot of things have changed.  “I just got an earful from Summer, so I heard the whiny, weepy version.  It’s pretty intense.”  “What she must be going through,” Sharon says sadly.  “She blames every single second of it on you.  And yeah, as far as secrets go, you were keeping a pretty huge one, weren’t you?”  Sharon says Nick’s gone, Summer hates her, Faith is just heartbroken.  And if Mariah came there to tear her apart, please save it til tomorrow, because she can’t take it tonight. 

 

Nick is bitching about Sharon letting Summer think she was Jack’s daughter, not his.  Omg, says Avery.  She wanted him so badly, using Faith to come between THEM was just the beginning.  Avery always loves to bring that up.  “Lying to you, and Summer…and what happened with Phyllis, even if it was an accident.  What happened in that stairwell…”  Nick says SHARON put all of this in motion.  Even though it was already in motion.  Because you needed a new DNA test when you were forced into it. BECAUSE YOU’RE A FUCKING LIAR.

 

“That’s why Phyllis fought so hard to come home,” says Avery.  But, wait, why didn’t Phyllis tell him sooner?  Because she [is selfish] wanted to make sure it wasn’t a dream and not mixed up in her head.  Avery asks if Sharon confessed to this and it’s not just [lies] conjecture.  “MY DAD says he has a DNA test proving it, but Sharon confessed to the whole thing anyway.” 
Avery sighs.  She can’t take his case if it’s about revenge.  Sharon has already used Faith as a pawn once.  “Is that what you think I’m doing?”  She says, “It’s not who you are.”  Except when it is, like the last time he took Faith away.  “But in moments like this, we forget ourselves?” suggest Avery.  Obviously, she thinks it revenge. 

 

Poor Nick!  He doesn’t even KNOW who he is anymore!  First he was Summer’s father (maybe), and then he wasn’t, and then Sharon’s soon-to-be husband, and that’s DEFINITELY not gonna happen now.  He just needs to protect Faith, and he cannot give her one more second of pain, so taking her from her mother…  Faith already thinks it’s HIS fault he called the wedding off.  “So what do I do?  Do I tear up this vision she has of her mother?” 

 

Avery says he would  never do that.   Of course not, but he cannot risk Faith being with Sharon, even though she is in zero danger.  “Yeah, Sharon’s on her meds, and in therapy now, but she’s still delusional enough to think we still have a chance!”  You’re right, Nick, any woman is delusional to believe a fucking word out of your mouth.  She thinks they can sit down and talk and hash this out instead of letting him drag her kid out in the night in a fit of anger.  Avery says it doesn’t seem likely.  “It’s IMPOSSIBLE.  Sharon says I saved her when she was sick.  So that’s the thing that sticks in her head, me rescuing her.  So what if she gets off her meds on purpose thinking that’s the way to get me back?  So I have to save her again?”  OOOMMMMGGG!!!  She resisted you and resisted you!  She warned you!  You INSISTED on marrying her.  YOU WANTED to be her Savior.  YOU LOVE IT!  YOU SUUUUUUCK!

 

Avery sighs and says that [will not hold up in court] is a convoluted thought.  Nick says but that’s the way she thinks.  He cannot risk Faith being with Sharon right now, he just can’t do it.  Avery understands.  She hugs him and says they will take care of Faith.  I’m sure this will make her like you even more, Avery.  But what about poor Nick.  His head is so messed up right now.  “I love Sharon.  Probably more than anything else in this world.  And the way she repays that is by breaking my daughter’s heart.  And mine.”  Just help him protect Faith!  He needs to know his kids are okay.  They will, says Avery.  He says not to worry about him.  His big, fat, Newman ego will be fine.

 

Summer bitches to Austin about how Mariah KNEW Sharon lied to her dad!  Austin’s like, she just heard her talking in her sleep.  But Mariah REMEMBERED because it mattered.  Sharon didn’t want Nick to have any other kids, and Mariah didn’t want any competition.  I think this is called “projection.”  “They were probably in on it together!”  Which is funny, because Mariah was in on it with Grampire to find this shit out.  Austin really doubts that.  NO!  They’re BOTH just twisted and nasty!  He heard her defending Sharon.  Austin thinks it’s just that Sharon’s her mother.  Remember how we much we care about mothers?  Well, not THAT mother!  “Who she’s known for like two seconds, who she tormented by pretending to be Cassie!! 

 

And what about MY mom?  My mom could have DIED, and no one would have known Jack wasn’t my father.  That’s probably exactly what Sharon wanted.”  It’s definitely what I wanted.  Austin says what happened that night was awful, but Phyllis says they were fighting over the phone, so Sharon couldn’t have pushed her.   So he’s saying NONE of it ever happened?  That her mom wasn’t in a coma for over a year?  Um, no, that’s not what he said.   Summer gets her mean on.  “Whose side are you on?!  DO NOT defend Mariah or Sharon to me. NOT EVER!”  Welcome to being on Summer’s side, which means if she wants your opinion, Austin, she’ll give it to you.

 

“What do you mean you found something?” asks Jack.  Phyllis says talk about mixed emotions, after she found it, she was sideswiped.  Jack’s like, okay, Phyllis…  She whips her hand out from behind her back and shows off her engagement ring!  Although it’s almost the gesture you would use to flip him off. “Oh, the ring?!” breathes Jack. 

 

Phyllis starts cackling and fast talking about how she knows he wanted to wait til she was healthy, but she is back and FABULOUS now!  Why should they wait one more second.  “What’s stopping us?  NOTHING.  Not one thing!”  She points at him.  “YOU were the reason I woke up.  Not Victor, and his doctor, it was YOU.”  She felt him in that hospital room…waiting.  They would be IDIOTS to waste one more second. 

 

Jack’s mouth is hanging open.  “Phyllis…you’re jumping ahead,” he says like zombie.  Of COURSE she’s jumping ahead!  She came this close to death, and you don’t mess around after that.  She knows he’s mad at how she handled the Summer thing and Sharon being a psycho.  But she thinks she deserves some leeway.  They have always butted heads, that’s how they operate.  They call each other out, it’s what keeps them honest.   “You and me, we’re a LOCK.  So why not get married already?”  Jack whispers to sit down.  “It’s not that simple.” 

 

Jack claims they don’t know how Summer feels right now.   Phyllis says Summer loves Jack. They brought her into this world.  She says this is about them,anyway, and she knows he wants it as much as she does.  She lays some kisses on him, and says, oh, sorry, what did HE have to tell her?

 

Joe and Dylan blah blah.  Let’s be civil.  Joe orders a cappuccino.  Dylan says there’s a place on Brand Ave.  It’s not for sale but they serve a decent cappuccino.  If he’s still trying to buy this place and kick Dylan out, he’s not welcome here.  “Fair enough,”says Joe.  Avery walks in. 

 

Phyllis says she stole Jack’s thunder.  His spine evaporates, and he says it was nothing.  Phyllis says they should be able to talk about everything.  “You deserve to be truly happy,” Jack intones.  And that’s all there is to talk about.  Okay, well Phyllis has one more item on her agenda.  She wants engagement photos, looking fabulous and in love!  And a HUGE engagement party!  She grins like a maniac.  Jack keeps claiming the timing isn’t right.  She just got back!  EXACTLY. And she knows just who is going to plan this party.  KELLY ANDREWS.  Jack looks like a deer in the headlights.

 

Stitch is at the hospital, on the phone with Kelly about Mom’s cardiac arrest.  I guess Vicky didn’t pound or scream the entire time an ambulance showed up 10 feet from the door of the closet.   I’m sure THAT didn’t make any noise.  Some doctor comes out and promises Stitch he’ll handle his Mom’s bypass personally.  (Sleeping kid says that was supposed to be a REAL heart attack?”)  Stitch calls Vicky yet again and tells her he has to cancel dinner since Mom had a heart attack.  Too bad he didn’t call her while her phone was in the trash can next to him.

 

Vicky finally takes a tool to try and get the door open.  AAAHH!!  She has a labor pain!  SHOCKER.

 

Avery asks what’s going on.  “Brand Avenue,” says Dylan.  “Got it,” says Joe.  It’s probably less of a dump.  He leaves.  Avery asks if she should be worried.  Dylan says he redirected his business elsewhere.  Did Joe provoke him?  “Only by breathing,” says Dylan.   She asks why he was even there.  Dylan says to try and get in his head.  He told him he saw Avery.  Was he trying to get in Avery’s head, too?   Yes, through her mouth.  Avery says something else got in her head first.  It turns out Nick is really Summer’s father, and Sharon was behind the lie, it was always Sharon.  Lying about Nick’s lie. 

 

Sharon says if Mariah’s going to condemn her, too… “Me?  Why, because I’m such a saint?”  Sharon explains that she wasn’t well.  “Well, duh,” says Mariah.   Nobody knows better than her, after convincing her she was a ghost.  That wasn’t you, says Sharon.  Defending her baby to the end.  “It was Victor,” says Mariah, “twisting the knife.  I was the knife.” 

 

Mariah gently says that she knows Sharon had her issues, but she also can’t say no harm, no foul.  She knows what it’s like to have someone lie to you about who your parents are.  Sharon looks contrite.  “I can't be angry at Ian, and give you a free pass.”  Sharon knows what she did was awful…but she didn’t know.  AFTER the ECT, says Mariah, but what about before?  “I wasn’t rational,” says Sharon.  Especially after Phyllis fell, and then knowing this dark cloud was over her. She was so terrified of causing that dickhead any pain, and now he’s gone.   He wants to come get his stuff, and Faith’s up in her room where she’s angry and confused.

 

“And I did that to her,” says Sharon.  “And to Jack, Nick, Summer, Noah, and you.”  Screw Phyllis.  “Sharon, I’m fine,” assures Mariah.  “I promised you a family," she says, choking up.  "And then I tore it apart.  It’s my fault.  I did this to all of us.”  She cries, and Mariah puts her arm around her and holds her.  

 

Summer yells at Austin.  “Mariah is just as bad as her mother, and for you to defend EITHER of them…” she storms away, but he grabs her.  He’s not!  He’s ALWAYS on her side. He’s sorry he doesn’t know how to make things easier or say the right things, but she’s the one that matters to him.  She glowers at him like a six year old clique leader.  She dissolves into more whining about how she just doesn’t know what to do about how she’s only gained from this situation.  It’s just so unfair.  They can’t get back this last year!  She doesn’t know how to do this.  Probably because Summer doesn’t know how to do ANYTHING except shop and complain.

 

Super Dad walks in.  Is she okay??  They stare at each other.  “Me neither,” whines Nick.  They hug.  I barf.

 

Jack claims that  the club is always booked solid!  Phyllis is like, please, Cane and Lily will make room for US.  And Kelly will be THRILLED to arrange things!  Jack, Billy, Lauren, everyone says she’s the BEST.  Jack thinks the timing is all wrong for, um, Summer.  Phyllis says Summer needs something to celebrate, they all do.  They deserve this.  “Kelly and I will take care of everything, okay?”  She leaves.   Jack closes his eyes in despair.

 

Stitch visits Mo in her hospital room.  He explains she's going into surgery.  She starts thrashing around.  He insists whatever she has to say to him can WAIT.

 

Vicky wanders around the closet talking to herself.  She’s trying to pretend these are just Braxton-Hicks contractions, but they aren’t.  Breathe, Victoria!  Or die.  I don't really care either way.

Edited November 14, 2014 by peach

[movinon]

 

“What she needs is STABILITY,” says Nick, “that’s why I’m here” to rip it out from under her to teach you a lesson.  Faith runs down the stairs.  “Daddy!” she smiles.  “Now can we finally have the wedding party?”  No, dear, it’s time to leave your beloved home forever to make Daddy feel better.

Pretty perfect, Peach.  This whiny, perpetual teenager needs to be locked in the closet with Victoria.  Supposedly JM complained to JFP about how the DNA lie would ruin his character, so someone? had to take the heat off him.  So how's that working for you now, Dick?

[peach]

Pretty perfect, Peach.  This whiny, perpetual teenager needs to be locked in the closet with Victoria.  Supposedly JM complained to JFP about how the DNA lie would ruin his character, so someone? had to take the heat off him.  So how's that working for you now, Dick?

 

Right?  Even Faith thinks he's a liar.  lol 

 

Let's see, I don't want backlash for a DNA lie, so I'll thrash someone else for doing it.  No one will notice!!  Certainly not fans of a very popular character!  (And, believe me, I know she has detractors, lol.  But she's got a lot of fans.)

[miamama]

Superb recap, Peach. These post-SECRET-revelation recaps are like therapy. It helps to know others are suffering too. :)

 

I feel hate and disgust in equal parts for Nick. He doesn't know who he is any more???? He had no trouble pretending he was Summer's father for 18 years. I'm sure he can be whoever he needs to. Gah. Hateful ass.

[Foghorn Leghorn]

So all of a sudden I feel lost about Summer's paternity, the more I read the more I get confused so could someone straighten me out?

 

Originally Nick or Jack could have been the father of Summer right?  

 

Ok so Nick got the results and didn't open it but let on he was the father for 18 years, correct so far?  

 

Then Nick decided on another paternity test (forget why?) and this is when Sharon apparently changed the results to show it was Jack who was the father all along making Nick the bad guy right?  

 

Then it comes out that Sharon's secret was switching results and everyone is blaming her?  

 

Nick was ALWAYS the father so what is the harm other than in the confusion of the last year or so, how is this an 18 year mistake? 

[miamama]

^^You got it, Foghorn. The 18 year lie is on Nick. The one year deception is Sharon's. And from the 18-year liar's persepctive it's the most heinous thing anyone has ever done to anyone in the history of life.

[Foghorn Leghorn]

^^You got it, Foghorn. The 18 year lie is on Nick. The one year deception is Sharon's. And from the 18-year liar's persepctive it's the most heinous thing anyone has ever done to anyone in the history of life.

 

Thank you!  I thought I was losing it with all this Sharon hate on the show and Nick looking like a million bucks!

 

Well FU Nick Newman!  And FU writers for this lame excuse of a story ending like this, why?!?  

 

Now if Sharon is NOT done with the Newmans once and for all I will be done with her I am afraid.  I want to see her rise up and fight back!  

[peacheslatour]

Great recap as per usual peach!  You continue to amaze.  Ya know I've always thought that Nick Newman was a weak, trifling, low down, no good hound. But now I actually HATE him.  Bleh.

[peach]

So all of a sudden I feel lost about Summer's paternity, the more I read the more I get confused so could someone straighten me out?

 

Originally Nick or Jack could have been the father of Summer right?  

 

Ok so Nick got the results and didn't open it but let on he was the father for 18 years, correct so far?  

 

Then Nick decided on another paternity test (forget why?) and this is when Sharon apparently changed the results to show it was Jack who was the father all along making Nick the bad guy right?  

 

Then it comes out that Sharon's secret was switching results and everyone is blaming her?  

 

Nick was ALWAYS the father so what is the harm other than in the confusion of the last year or so, how is this an 18 year mistake? 

The original result when she was born was "inconclusive" but Nick let everyone think it was definitely him.  Then when stupid Summer was getting together with KYLE, he freaked out, because it was possible that Summer was his sister.  So he was forced into doing another test to be sure.  Then Sharon supposedly altered the results.  So now she's the devil incarnate.  And I only say "supposedly" because they only showed her going in the lab, not doing anything else, and this show is capable of switching the switched switch again.

[peach]

double post. 

Edited November 15, 2014 by peach

[miamama]

^^And Nick said repeatedly that he would have DONE IT AGAIN (steal Summer from Jack). 

[Foghorn Leghorn]

Thanks for clarifying as to why Nick ran a second test, I had forgotten Summer/Kyle!  I guess we need to give the writers the story!  LOL

 

I don't miss the actor who played Kyle, I could never get past his chin!

[miamama]

She’s like, AAAH, OOOHH, OOOO, OH MAN, UHHH,  AAAAHH…Maureen goes all Fred Sanford and has the most melodramatic heart attack in the history of television and passes out on the floor!

 

Can I just say how funny this description is? I usually plan to cut and paste my favourite sections of Peach's recaps but after the seventh of eighth awesome sentence I just "like" the whole post. However I woke up with a smile this morning thinking of Fred Sanford, thanks to Peach, and so I had to share. :)

[peach]

Thurs, Nov 13     This Is My House!

 

Sharon comes down in the morning, and Mariah’s made her coffee.  Aww.   I love the kind of cardigan wrap Sharon’s wearing with the too long sleeves.  So elegantly cozy when you’re sad.  And tall and thin.  It means so much to Sharon, Mariah’s kindness and not turning her back on her like all the other worthless people she knows.  “Just you being here means so much.”  Mariah says Sharon gave her a chance when nobody else would, so she owes her for that.  “I’m not gonna kick you when you’re down.” 

 

There’s a knock on the door.  Nooo, says Sharon.  Mariah says she can’t hide from people, how is that going to solve anything?  Sharon answers.  It’s Grace!

 

Nikki is having mints for breakfast, and Nick comes barreling in.  Ohhh, darling, what Sharon has put you through.  “If you need anything from your father and I, you just name it.  We are here for you!”  Nick got a message that Dad wants to have a family dinner, but the last thing he wants is a pity party about his life while Dad pontificates at the head of the table.  Waah. 

 

Michael and Kevin argue about him having cancer.  Kevin didn’t tell Fen when they went to the concert.  But the right thing is not keeping the truth from everyone that loves him.  If he’s not going to tell his family, then Kevin is going to!   Michael glares as he’s been wont to do lately.

 

Meanwhile, back at the castle, Sage reads a newspaper.  Adam wakes up, and they do that awkward camera thing where the actress looks straight into the lens.  I hate that.  “You’re awake” from that drug I stabbed you with, she smiles, “Good.   We have a visitor!”  It’s SALLY freaking KELLERMAN.   In a wheelchair.  “You gave us quite a scare yesterday with that fall you took.”  He will not go quietly into that good night!  He will not go without a fight!*  

 

Adam says it was nothing, really.  Sally says he has to take time to heal properly.  She thought she’d lost him, and…and she thanks God for saving him!  Sally, he just tripped.  Adam seems uncomfortable, but he’s like, yeah, yeah, thank God for bringing me to you.  That God guy, sure.  Sally smiles benevolently.

 

Chelsea examines the nanny cam.  Billy comes down and asks if she’s going to look for more hidden cameras.  I’d damn well check the bedroom, but Chelsea’s just interested in this one.  She wonders again who put it there.  Billy thought they agreed Adam put it there to spy on the undocumented nannies.  Chelsea says that’s one theory, but then again, if wasn’t Adam…

 

The doorbell rings.  It’s Victor.  “Hi, sweetheart,” he says to Chelsea.  “I think the answer to your question just arrived,” says Billy.  Victor’s like you gotta be kidding me.  “What the hell are you doing here?”  Billy smirks his best smirk.  The stickin’ it to Victor smirk.

 

This is Michael’s life and Michael’s body.  KEEP YOUR LAWS OFF MY BODY, KEVIN.  Blah blah blah.  Kevin gets not telling Fen or their crazy mom, but what about Lauren?  This is her life, too.

 

Nikki tells Nick that if he’s worried his father will make this dinner all about him…  “Of course he will.  Dad is just dying to say I told you so.”  Nikki thinks it’s really not going to be that way this time, because she’s drunk, I guess.  She says he really just wants to pull the family together to support him and Summer.  Nick’s sure that’s how he’s selling it, but that’s not how it plays out.  “I just don’t wanna be around him right now,” he whines. 

 

Nikki gets it, she’s been furious with him for whole months before, and she still doesn’t approve of his methods, as if that matters.  “You mean the way he manipulates everyone, and LIES to them while spouting this holier than thou attitude?”  Gosh, WHO does that sound like, NICK?  “All of the above,” says Nikki.  But he pursued the truth not because he hates Sharon, but because he loves Nick.  AND hates Sharon.  Mostly that.  Maybe, says Nick, but it KILLS him that Dad was right about Sharon, and he was wrong.  Also, Sharon was right about Sharon, but you didn’t listen.  Waaaaahhh!!!

 

Grace says she was in Chicago on business, so she thought she’d pop up and say hi.  Judging by her killer red dress, she was also expecting Nick to be home.  She’s stunned to see Mariah.  Nick had showed her a picture, but omg.  “It’s incredible how much I look like Cassie,” Mariah dutifully says.  She gets that a lot.  Sharon confirms that Mariah IS Cassie’s twin sister.  “It’s a miracle,” says Grace.  Sharon quickly recaps how this is the woman who found Cassie and brought her back to Shick.  Also, Nick was screwing her. 

 

Grace gets all weepy and swears that if she had known about her, she would have looked for her, too!  Mariah looks like this is all kind of weird.  She assures Grace that it’s okay.  Sharon says there was no way that Grace could have known.  And she guesses she has Grace to thank for helping Nick put the pieces together and hopefully nothing else.   Grace hopes finding Mariah has helped fill the hole in Sharon’s heart.  Sharon looks at Mariah and says it’s meant more than she can say.

 

“No one means more to me in this world,” says Sally Kellerman to Adam.  “And we must do whatever it takes to make sure you get well.”  Um…okay?  She and Adam hold hands.  “I’m so grateful.  I don’t think I’ll ever be able to thank you enough.”  Sally says the truth is, it’s her darling Sage who’s taking such good care of him with her surprise sedatives and such.  Sally thinks everyone needs a rest, so Sage starts to wheel her to her room.  Also, Sally’s name is Constance.   “Sage,” orders Adam, “bring me my laptop.”  And turn some damn lights on in this place.  No wonder people fall down.

 

Victor looks at the nanny cam.  He knows nothing of this, and he doesn’t appreciate being accused of spying on Chelsea and his grandson.  Billy says this is EXACTLY the kind of thing he would do, especially after Adam cut him off from Connor.  “You’re not buying into this, are you?” Victor asks Chelsea.  She doesn’t know what to think.  “Chelsea, you and I have worked hard to gain each other’s trust.  And you gave me permission to come here any day and visit Connor.”  She did.  Then why in the world would he put surveillance equipment in her condo?  But he will have his people find out who was responsible. 

 

Billy says thanks, but they can handle it.  Victor asks for a word alone with Chelsea, so can Billy scram?  Billy enjoys breaking it to Victor that he now lives there with Chelsea.  And his grandson.  Victor’s brows go up.  “Tell me this isn’t so,” he says to Chelsea.  He looks at her like how stupid are you?

 

Michael and Kevin argue some more.  Michael has to do this his way.  Kevin gets all torn up about it.  He needs Michael to be okay.  Lauren interrupts, Kevin leaves.

 

Victor says, “I’m very disappointed to find that you are willing to pick up where my daughter left off.”   Seems like it’s Billy who’s the bad penny.  Chelsea insists she and Billy are very happy, and anything he has to say, he can say in front of him.  Victor’s like, great.  Well, he’s come to invite HER, and CONNOR to a dinner party he’s having in a few days.  Chelsea says this must be about Nick and Summer.  Yep.  And he invited Victoria and Johnny. 

 

Captain Billy Obvious says it’s up to Victoria if she wants to bring their son, but for what it’s worth (nothing), the idea that he’s circling the Newman wagons, so he can celebrate Jack’s loss, doesn’t sit well with him.  All the more reason to do it, eh?  “Since when, son, do I giveadamn whether something sits well with you or not.”  “Guess I’m not invited then, huh?” smirks Billy.  Victor turns back to Chelsea.  “Are you and Connor coming?  Or not?”  Chelsea fidgets.

 

Nick says the only good thing that came out of this mess was finding out that Summer is his daughter again, which he’s thrilled about.  But the damage that came, thanks to Sharon??  Nikki asks how Summer is handling it.  Entitled whining, mostly.  She’s furious at Sharon for using her and Jack, and for putting Phyllis in the hospital.  STOP SAYING THAT.  Summer at least has Austin and Nick to lean on.  And Noah’s hanging in there, since he’s barely a person on this show. 

 

They haven’t told Faith the whole story, but now she’s in agony.  Actually she’s just super pissed off.  “She called me a liar the other day because I promised her I was going to marry her mom and now I’m not.”  BECAUSE YOU’RE A LIAR.  Oh, that poor baby, says Nikki.  She’s too young to understand, but she will come around because she adores her daddy. 

 

Nick “let” her stay with Sharon last night.  “Ohh, think that was wise?” says alcoholic Nikki.  It will be the LAST time.  “I want my daughter with ME from now on. “  Nikki doesn’t blame him, which is part of why Nick is such a spoiled brat.  Nick says he wants to do more than get full custody, he wishes he could cut Sharon out of his life forever!!!  Waaaah!

 

Grace is going around looking at pictures.  Sharon’s like, can I, uh, get you something?   Mariah decides to take off since it’s obvious they have some catching up to do, and that Grace is some kind of weirdo.  Sharon says it’s better they talk privately.  So why is Grace really there?  “You show up without warning on my doorstep after being away for ten years!  Why?” 

 

Grace claims she really doesn’t have an agenda here.  “Then why the ambush?”  Grace says that’s a little bit hostile.  “Given OUR history, I’m the soul of politeness,” snarks Sharon.   Good to see strong Sharon today!  Grace claims she didn’t contact her before because, omg, Cassie’s identical twin sister?  That’s not the kind of thing you shoot someone an email about!  Sounds legit.  So since she was so close by, she couldn’t resist the opportunity to come see her…and meet Mariah.  It was pretty indescribable to see that face again.  “Our friendship was lost, Sharon, and it was mostly due to my actions.”  Mostly? asks Sharon.  Okay, okay, but they always had one thing in common.  Screwing Nick.  Oh, and their love for Cassie. 

 

Tears roll down Grace’s face.  Her death was such a tragedy…and when she heard what it did to her and Nick, and tore their whole family apart.  But now they’ve come full circle!  She has Mariah now, and Shick is back together and happy… Sharon put her hand over her face and weeps.  Grace is like, Sharon?  What is it?  Nothing, says Sharon, nothing I want to talk about with YOU.   Grace presses, but Sharon says it’s none of her business.  If Sharon won’t tell her, Grace will call Nick and  ask him!  So what’s wrong?  “EVERYTHING!” cries Sharon.  “Nick left me!”  She’s humiliated by this admission and wipes a tear away in frustration.

 

Nick keeps bitching to Mommy about his wimmen problems.  “I could KILL Sharon right now!  Phyllis, too!  I mean, she couldn’t have handled this situation any worse!  That SCENE at the ballroom and the stairwell was OBNOXIOUS.”  Nikki says that sounds like Phyllis.  Nick has to remain civil for Summer’s sake, but if you told him he never had to see either one of those women again, he swears he would jump up and cheer.  AS WOULD WE ALL. 

 

“Nicholas, stop it now.  You’re scaring me.”  She knows he took it hard when Avery dumped him, but this is worse.  “AVERY never gave away one of my kids because of her own pathological insecurities.”   But Nikki doesn’t have to worry, he won’t do anything reckless.  Nikki glances at her liquor tray.  “I just don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret,” she whispers.  He REGRETS  every single minute he spent with Sharon, thinking they could build something real on his terms.  Sure he does.  “What the hell was I thinking??”  Nikki says not to let his anger run away with him like this.  Control the situation, don’t let it control you!

 

Chelsea thanks Victor for the invitation.  But everyone in his family hated Adam, and no one really likes her either.  Not to mention it would make Victoria very uncomfortable, so the answer is no.  But he’s welcome to visit Connor anytime, as long as he respects the fact that Billy’s a part of their lives now and lives there.  Victor pukes in his mouth a little bit.  “All right,” he says mildly. 

 

Billy can’t let it go, though.  “You expect us to believe that?  That you’re capable of respect?” That wasn’t very respectful, Billy.  Victor says, “You know, Billyboy?  I’m not very concerned about you.  You’ll screw up in no time at all.   I know you too well.  And then she’ll kick you out of here.”  He leaves.  He really knows how to get the last word.

 

Adam’s frustrated because the camera feed is black.  SAGE!  She comes rushing like the house is on fire.  It’s just the computer.  She checks it out.  Something must be wrong with the camera.  “Or someone realized it was there,” says Adam.

 

Lauren and Michael blah blah.  The nest is empty again.  But he’s so busy.  She says he doesn’t need to be embarrassed about needing something to “get him going.”  Geez, woman, can you go two days without sex?  I guess she heard me, because she says it’s not about sex, it’s about the wall he was creating.  They can talk about ANYTHING.  She loves him so much.  “I never questioned your love for me,” says Michael.  Then what is it, says Lauren, tell me.

 

Kevin emotionally stares into space over his coffee at Crimson Lights.  Mariah comes flying in behind him, and doesn’t really see his face.  “Hey, big shot!  I thought things couldn’t get crazier or more awkward with Sharon, but guess what, they did!” She launches into her gossip about the weirdness of Grace showing up, and Kevin snaps at her.  “Look, you’re not the only person with bad crap going on in their life!”  He runs off to the patio side.  Mariah’s like wait, what?

 

Sharon tells Grace that while she was sick she did something terrible, and she kept it a secret.  And now, suddenly, it all blew up right when they were about to get married.  Grace says after all the stunts she’s pulled, who is she to judge?  But she can’t get over it…she didn’t think there was ANYTHING that could get Nick to walk out on her again.  She thought he was hers, forever.  “Damn you, Grace, you never change!  You pretend to feel bad for me, but all you’re really thinking is Nick is single now!  You’d hit on him in a hot second!”  Grace says that’s exactly what she did when he flew her here to talk.  “GET THE HELL OUT!”

 

Nick says things have happened in the past when he’s let his anger get the best of him, but that will not be the case going forward.  He doesn’t want to make things harder on his kids, or pile more stress on Nikki.  She appreciates him taking her words to heart.  He says he will handle things with Sharon, and he’ll keep his cool and ruin her life rationally.  He tells Nikki SHE’S a great mom, the BEST mom, because even when she’s struggling with her own issues she always makes her kids feel like they come first.  Victor gets home.  “Well, look who’s here.  I’m glad you came by,” he says.  Why, snarks Nick.  You have more good news for me?  Victor’s like wth is your problem?

 

Chelsea tells Billy she’s not going to let Victor dictate her life, but it’s important to keep things civil for Connor’s sake.  Then he will do his best, but he has his limits.  And he wasn’t about to hand over that camera to him.  Chelsea asks if he really still thinks Victor was behind it.  “When it comes to surveillance gear in a little kid’s bedroom, everyone is guilty until proven innocent.”  Chelsea says she’s not going to rest until they figure out where it came from.  “Then let’s get some answers,” says Billy.

 

Sage says they don’t know if Billy found the camera, it could just be a glitch.  It’s NOT a glitch!  Well, she’ll get his dorky henchman back over there to figure it out.  NO!  He’s sick and tired of watching his wife and son over some damn computer screen while Billy Abbott takes over his entire family!  He’s not going to sit there and let that happen!

 

Michael and Lauren blah blah.  A little pill can’t fix everything, what if he couldn’t be a real husband to her anymore?  Lauren says he will always be her husband, and there are many ways to make love.  She’ll show them to him the REST of their LIVES.  Michael looks distressed, since they might not be very long.

 

Mariah brings Kevin a brownie of peace.  She knows she can talk about herself and come off self-centered, but to be fair, he usually doesn’t have a huge stick up his ass.  He’s like is this your version of an apology?  Just eat the brownie and tell her what’s wrong.  He can’t, it’s not his story to tell, and there’s nothing he can do about it.  She says she doesn’t do this friend thing very well since everyone screws her over.  But if HE needs a friend, she can try to be that for him.  Key word:  try.  “Got it,” he says.  They smile at each other.

 

Grace says Sharon needs to calm down.  YES, she hit on Nick.  She jumped to certain conclusions after he called her out of the blue, and this is wandering dong Nick we’re talking about.  But he didn’t even give her a second glance!!  “And believe me, I gave him plenty to look at!”  The only thing that mattered to him was Sharon, and finding out who Mariah was.  “I bet that was a crushing disappointment for you,” remarks Sharon.  Hey, she’s trying to make you feel better, Sharon.  “You just couldn’t resist twisting the knife, anymore than you can resist throwing your body in front of any man that happens to cross your path!  Old habits, and all.” 

 

Grace is like, whoa.  She has done NOTHING wrong here, so don’t attack HER, when SHARON is the one who screwed up her own life.  Again.  So tell her… what did she do, what did it take, to push away a guy that loved her THAT MUCH, the father of THEIR children, past the breaking point?

 

“Nick and I will survive this,” says Sharon.  NOOO, Sharon, NO!  “Just like we’ve survived everything else, because we share the kind of love that someone like you couldn’t understand.”  If that’s what you wanna believe, says Grace.  “NO, that’s what I know!” insists Sharon.  Okay, then she doesn’t want to miss her flight.  “Can’t wait to see how THIS all turns out,” she snipes on her way out the door.  Trust me, it’ll probably just make you mad.  Sharon loses her bravado after Grace leaves.

 

Victor tells Nick no, he has nothing new to report.  So he doesn’t expect him to THANK him for the other night.  “Son, I don’t expect you to thank me for anything.”  “You here to gloat??” accuses Nick.  Victor wonders if Nick has brain damage. “I’m HERE because this is my house!”  Idiot!  “But while you’re here I could tell you something!”  Yeah, well whiny Nick doesn’t think he wants to hear it.  Nikki says to hear him out.  “Had I known what I know now, I would have TOLD you.  I would have saved you and our family a lot of anguish.”  “Why?” grinds out Nick.  “You were driven by your hatred of Sharon!”  Well, what do you care? You hate her enough to take her kid away.

 

“Son, I wanted to tell you to not make the same mistake twice.  Yet you went right ahead, undeterred!  To pursue happiness with a woman who has brought SO MUCH unhappiness to this family!  SHE BURNED DOWN THIS DAMN PLACE!  Do I need to remind you?”  Nikki’s biting her tongue but she totally agrees.  “You’re questioning MY motives?” demands Victor.  “Why don’t you look at yourself!  And explain to yourself WHY you made the choices you made.  How’s that?”   Well, Nick can’t handle the truth that he just does everything to either defy Victor or get laid, so he grabs his jacket and leaves. 

 

Nikki gives her head a little shake.  “Are you looking at me?  I think it’s a good thing. It’s the only way he will learn,” says Victor.  Let him think about it, says Nikki.  She just wonders if this really IS it for them, once and for all.  Victor frowns.  “Why are you even ASKING that question??”  IKR?  “You don’t think he’ll forgive her?  And start all over again, with her??”  Not at this moment, no.  He’s beyond devastated, says Nikki.  But Sharon is The Love Of His Life, as we can all see by the way he treats her.  “You and I both know how hard it is to walk away from that forever.”  Is this supposed to be hope for Shick, show?  Because if THAT'S what you’re selling, I AIN’T BUYIN'.  Shick 4 Never.

 

Michael and Lauren are overcome with passion.  Again.

 

Nick shows up at Sharon’s door again.  She hopes this means he’s finally ready to talk like they need to.  HA!  He just wants to judge you to your face some more.  “I didn’t come here to chat.  I have no interest in hearing you defend yourself or try and convince me to come back.  I just came here to tell you you’re going to be hearing from AVERY.  I’m gonna fight for full custody of Faith with my ex-girlfriend lawyer, and I won’t stop fighting until I’ve won.”  He walks off because Sharon’s not allowed to speak to TGNN.

 

Chelsea and Billy are looking up the nanny cam serial number on the internet.  Billy’s like, wait, this model didn’t come out until May of this year!  Omg, this means someone didn’t start spying on her until AFTER Adam died!

 

Adam is so sick of this, it’s time for him to go home.  He struggles out of bed, but Sage rushes to his side.  Please, stop!  He’s going to hurt himself again!  She’s shouting for him to SIT DOWN!  Constance heard raised voices!  She comes wheeling in.  Is everything all right?  “What in God’s green earth are you doing out of bed??”  Adam feels good, he’s getting stronger every day.  It’s been months…he’s ready to take these bandages off!  Constance just doesn’t know.  He takes her hand.  “Aren’t you ready to see your grandson’s face?”  What the hell kind of scam is this?

[Suby]

I also enjoyed Joe calling her out for bailing on Nick, too.  Not that I give a crap about Nick.

I also enjoyed Joe calling her out for bailing on Nick, too.  Not that I give a crap about Nick.

MS is that you? 

 

lol I kid I kid.  Sorry for the insult. I know, it's just wonky board.

 

That was great!  I don't care about Nick either.  In fact I like Avery for it :)

[peach]

MS is that you? 

 

lol I kid I kid.  Sorry for the insult. I know, it's just wonky board.

 

That was great!  I don't care about Nick either.  In fact I like Avery for it :)

 

In this instance, I really didn't give a crap about Nick twice.  LOL  Sometimes my computer just expresses these things for me.  Shick 4 Never!

[movinon]

 

 

But Sharon is The Love Of His Life, as we can all see by the way he treats her.  “You and I both know how hard it is to walk away from that forever.”  Is this supposed to be hope for Shick, show?  Because if THAT'S what you’re selling, I AIN’T BUYIN'.  Shick 4 Never.

 

Both Sharon and Nikki need to run far, far away from these jerks as quick as possible.  TGVN and TGNN are both yesterday's garbage.  Love the Shick 4 Never.

Edited November 15, 2014 by movinon

[peach]

Fri, Nov 14      It’s Breathtaking,  The Episode That Mostly Didn't Happen

 

Billy and Chelsea are good and creeped out that someone installed that camera AFTER Adam died.  She just doesn’t know who it could be.  Billy thinks she needs to accept the obvious. 

 

Meanwhile, back at the castle, Adam’s struggling around again with a cane.  Sage complains about him not resting.  “What are you gonna do, jab me with another sedative?”  If she has to!  She understands he’s frustrated the camera’s not working but he can’t push too hard.  He will worry about that, and she just needs to worry about HER part of their agreement.  She says her part is a lot more confusing, since he promised Constance she would see Gabriel’s face!  Gabriel?  Like the angel?  So, it seems Sage and Adam are in on this together.  Adam is TIRED OF THIS!  It’s time for these bandages to come off.

 

Kelly and Stitch have been waiting five hours and Maureen is still in surgery.  He still can’t reach Victoria.  Kelly says maybe she’s just giving him space to deal with the situation.  Stitch is like, my MOM had a heart attack, I think she would at least text.  Kelly says maybe she lost her phone!  Stitch says something doesn’t feel right.  He calls again.

 

Victoria’s pounding on the door again, which she only does when no one is there.  Vicky is annoying but I guess I can’t really wish being in labor overnight alone in a closet on anyone.  Maybe Phyllis.  She tries to calm herself since today is a work day, surely SOMEONE has to show up at Jabot.  That’s pretty iffy.  She keeps having contractions, so she counts to calm down.  Oh, no.  She’s going to fantasize.  For the whole episode?!  First she pretends she’s counting baby girl fingers with Stitch by her side…then it’s a boy with Billy.  Then she’s back in the closet.  Thrilling.

 

Constance asks why Adam is suddenly so impatient.  It’s only been a year. He says the doc’s done all he can and the rest is up to him. “I wish you could have seen yourself the night of the accident.  The terrible burns, the broken bones, I’ve never been so frightened in my life.  No one should ever have to suffer like that,” moans Constance.  “Not even your good-for-nothing grandson?”  “YOU are all I have!” she cries.  She prayed so hard for him to survive. 

 

He did survive, Grandmother, but surviving isn’t living!  Sage says she advised him to wait for more time to heal.  Adam says either the doctor was able to work his magic or he wasn’t.  It’s time to find out what’s under there.  Constance tells Sage to have the doctor come at once.

 

Billy insists this is exactly the kind of thing of Victor would do, and he has the cash and the connections.  Then why didn’t he know you lived there?  He asks Chelsea what Victor loves most.  “His family?”  No, having total control over everybody in his orbit.  Chelsea believes Victor.  He’s right, he can visit Connor any old time, so why would he plant a spy cam in his room.  “BECAUSE HE CAN!” says Billy.  That’s his thing! 

 

Chelsea says he just wants to focus on one target that HE specifically hates, instead of considering other people with a motive to do this.  Okay, okay.  She remembers when that maintenance guy showed up and went alone in Connor’s room, supposedly investigating a noise, but he never found a camera.  “Meaning he planted it,” says Billy.

 

Stitch wonders if Vicky changed her mind about dinner last night.  Kelly realizes this just wasn’t “some date.”  No, it was super important.   Kelly takes responsibility for what happened with Jenna.  If it wasn’t for her, he’d be raising his son right now, and she feels really guilty.  And she wants love to work out for him this time, you guys, so she thinks he needs to just take off, and go find Victoria!  WHILE THEIR MOTHER HAS OPEN HEART SURGERY.  So what!  “Go tell that girl whatever it takes to work it out!”   Kelly will deal with Mom.  Let her do this one thing for him.  SO HE DOES. 

 

Vicky tries to get comfortable with a drop cloth.  She just has to think good thoughts.  But you can’t change the past.  She has a fantasy flashback to one of the times she said Ben wasn’t telling her something.  So he confesses the truth.  Then she’s back in the closet.  She really wishes that had happened instead and then she wouldn’t be stuck in this dingy janitor’s closet.  She wouldn’t have heard the truth from Maureen.  Well, it was threatening to call the cops, if you want to get technical.  She gets up and shouts for a while.

 

“What time do you guys roll into Jabot, anyway?  Noon?”  More like never.  She realizes she was supposed to pick up Johnny!  Maybe Billy will start looking for her.  “But he’s not the most reliable guy in the world.  That’s what makes him so irresistible.”  If you say so. 

 

She has a remade flashback to new Billy grieving over Delia, and they have that argument about shutting her out.  Then new Kelly calls, and they bond over the grief no one else gets.  But Victoria reimagines it so Billy tells Kelly to go to a support group meeting, because the person he needs to be talking to is his wife, the amazing woman he’s blessed to spend his life with.  Then Fantasy Billy says he doesn’t want to shut her out.  She’s the only person who really understands him.  He’s drowning…and he needs her.  He sobs, and she holds him.  That seems…kind of conceited.  This is reaching Inception levels of confusing.  Aaand she’s back in the closet.  She says she’s going to have wonderful life, not matter who the father is. 

 

Chelsea says it’s VERY disturbing that a stranger’s been watching her kid!  Billy says maybe he was working with someone else, like, oh, I don’t know, VICTOR?  She says he has Victor on the brain.  Billy says, “Tell me he’s not capable of lying to your face and breaking the law whenever it suits his purposes.”  Like…Billy?  “And BEFORE you go telling me how cordial your relationship is, may I remind you this is the guy who THREATENED you in the past?”  He really does have a point.  Chelsea will add him to the list.  Billy will talk to the maintenance manager and find out what he can. 

 

She asks when Victoria is supposed to pick up Johnny.  Hey, she’s an HOUR late!  Billy’s not allowed to be late without getting told how irresponsible he is!  He apologizes, he doesn’t know why he cares what she thinks.  Chelsea says maybe because she might be carrying your kid.  Billy promises the only people he cares about are her, and Connor.  He forgot Johnny.  He’s going to find out about this camera!  Instead of where Johnny’s mom is.

 

Victoria has another fantasy.  Fantasy Stitch reads to sick Johnny and takes super good doctor care of him.  He’s going to stay home and take care of Johnny and the baby so she can go do mergers and stuff.  It means so much knowing she can count on him to do stuff.  Then her fantasy switches to working from home, until Fantasy Billy comes bursting in with a dozen pink roses for her, and a stuffed animal for Johnny.  Flattery and kissing.  But he forgot the damn medicine.  Then she’s back in the closet, begging to get out!!!  This is frigging torture.  For me.

 

Billy checked with the building manager, and the maintenance guy was let go, so now they’ll never know.  Billy says he’ll have the condo swept for any more bugs.  “Don’t worry, you’re not alone anymore.  I’m here.”  He gathers up Johnny and decides to take him home.  “And Chels, whoever put that camera there isn’t coming back.  And if they did, they’d have to go through me.”  Macho.

 

The doctor examines Adam, blah blah.  Adam and I just want him to get the bandages off, okay?  Constance says she’s hoped and prayed for this day when they finally get their Gabriel back.  Adam reminds her that whatever the outcome, he’s not going to be the same man.  LOL  Blah blah.  Sage tries to stall some more, but the doc says the time is right.  He dramatically pulls out the scissors and starts cutting.  Sage has her hand over her mouth in fear.  Omg, what if he’s ugly?  She’s as worried as Elaine when her mimbo got hurt rock climbing with George.

 

Sage nervously says it’s like they’re waiting to unwrap a bright, shiny new bike.  Constance says that was his favorite gift as a boy.  Of course, he remembers it well.  Oh, yeah, what color was it?   Adam tells the doctor to take his time, nobody rushed Michelangelo when he was painting the Sistine Chapel.  Lmao!  Sage asks if he’s expecting a masterpiece?  The doc says his confidence is appreciated.  The last bandages come off.  Sage gasps!  OMG, HE’S HOT!!!  YAY!!  She hugs Constance.

 

Stitch and Billy happen to meet up on Victoria’s doorstep.  Billy says he shouldn’t be surprised now that he’s shacking up with Chelsea.  Stitch says it’s not like that, he had a date with her but she’s never responded to his calls.  Billy’s like she didn’t pick up Johnny, either!  They think that doesn’t sound like her.  Billy lets them in, and they search for her. 

 

Abby arrives and sees Stitch.  She’s like, gag, don’t tell me my sister went out with you last night and you’re still here?  After I warned her?!  She won’t let Stitch get a word in edgewise while she demands to talk to Victoria about something involving him.  Billy rushes in the room and says Vicky’s GONE!  And so’s her car.

 

Vicky’s having bad labor pains, but she seems to be trying to control the screaming.  Seems like a good time to scream really loud.  She fantasizes about reading to Johnny and Fantasy Stitch gets home.  Wow, Johnny adores him.  That’s actually cute.  Fantasy blah flirt.   Fantasy Stitch is a doctor again and they’re super deliriously happy.  Fantasy Vicky arranged for Fantasy Max to come for Fantasy Christmas because she’s Super Victoria who made everything right with the world.  Fantasy Stitch tries not to cry from his joy.

 

Switch to Fantasy Billy playing video games with Reed, while Vicky makes them pizza and Fantasy Billy is the perfect baby daddy.  He’s way more responsible than her last fantasy.  I can’t believe I’m using bandwidth for this.  Aaaand, she’s back in the closet.  She says pretty soon they’ll know who the daddy is.  More gasping in pain.  Vicky tries to breathe.  It’s getting bad.  No, no, no, you can’t come now, she gasps.  Hold on, hold on.

 

Abby babbles high speed and doesn’t listen.  She’s not too happy with Victoria and these intrusions.  Stitch is like what are you talking about.  Billy and Stitch bond over how annoying Abby is.  “AT JABOT.  In the new R&D lab where you work?”  She says Ashley was looking at some security footage to see if some equipment was installed properly, and she caught Victoria on the premises AGAIN without a pass!  Wow, and yet she didn’t catch a psycho altercation with Maureen?  And they have no security cameras in the GARAGE?

 

Stitch is like WHEN???  Abby doesn’t know, and how does Victoria keep slipping past their guards anyway?  Because GC has a pretty serious guard problem.  There needs to be some government regulation or something.  Abby says it HAS TO STOP.  Billy and Stitch demand to know if she’s seen Vicky.  NO.  So they leave her with Johnny and go search for her.

 

Chelsea can have flashbacks, too, you guys, and she remembers talking about the heart’s capacity to love with Billy in the nursery.  In the present Connor is saying DA DA.  She laughs that things are going well with Billy but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.  Billy isn’t even there, so obviously Connor will even call a car DA DA right now, but she frowns and wonders what it means.  Also, that car is choking hazard, so GET IT OUT OF HIS MOUTH, show!  Those wheels come off.

 

Sage and Constance gaze at the wonder of Adam’s face.  “It’s breathtaking,” whispers Sage.  When Constance remembers how badly he was hurt…saving that man from a burning vehicle!  She never expected this!  The doc says considering he only had photos to work from, he’s extremely gratified with the results.  Adam’s gratifying everyone with his new face.  Look, this isn’t Joe we’re talking about.  Calm down.

 

The doc hopes Adam’s as gratified as they all are.  I think they need to go have a cigarette while Adam looks in the mirror.  He stares in shock.  Well…his chin is kind of the same.  “THANK YOU, doctor, for saving my grandson!  MY GABRIEL!!  Adam keeps staring at his reflection.  He’s overwhelmed by his new face and different colored hair.  “It’s uncanny,” he says.  “Now I can reclaim my life.”

 

Billy and Stitch run around frantically searching the parking garage but Victoria is taking a nap again.  They hit the stairs to search the building, and then Vicky decides to scream.  She’s laboring hard, so that her next fantasy is weird enough that she’s holding the baby from a hospital bed, with Stitch on one side and Billy on the other while they praise her.  Maybe she could become a reverse Mormon and marry both of them.   They disappear, and she whispers, MY baby. 

 

She’s back in the closet.  She starts shrieking, MY BABY, MY BABY!!!

[peacheslatour]

 

Adam tells the doctor to take his time, nobody rushed Michelangelo when he was painting the Sistine Chapel.

The hell they didn't!  According to the completely factual Charleton Heston movie "The Agony and the Ecstasy" the friggin' pope hassled him non stop.

 

Because GC has a pretty serious guard problem.

Lol!  They must have the the toughest union in the country!  The Amalgamated Brotherhood of Incompetent Minions and Security Guards of Wisconsin

[movinon]

 

She never expected this!  The doc says considering he only had photos to work from, he’s extremely gratified with the results.  Adam’s gratifying everyone with his new face.  Look, this isn’t Joe we’re talking about.  Calm down.

Absolutely right, Peach!  No matter how gratified everyone is - there is only one Joe.  I'm sure of that, but I am interested in Adam.

[peach]

Mon, Nov 17         Next Time, Eat The Spinach

 

Billy and Stitch are searching Jabot for Victoria and can’t find her anywhere.  Billy blames Stitch for not calling someone when she didn’t show up for their date last night.   “My mother had a heart attack!”  Geez, Billy!   Stitch says what about you?  You had Johnny yesterday and today, and she never checked on him?  Well…no.  And now she’s been gone all night.  We gotta find her, says Billy.  We see her still gasping and moaning in the closet.   Hey, remember that time Avery was missing for seven minutes and the entire police force was searching for her?

 

Jeffrey visits Chelsea.  She asks him why.  “Can’t a dad watch out for his daughter’s well being?”  Chelsea narrows her eyes.  “Is that what you’ve been doing?  Watching out for me with a hidden camera?”  He’s like, what??  Who would do something like that?  She shows him the spy cam.  He thanks God he’s there to help.  She rolls her eyes.

 

Sage and Adam gush over how remarkable his face is.  He’s just happy that when he goes back to GC, nobody will know he’s Adam Newman, not even Chelsea.  Sage says he CANNOT go back yet.  He looks annoyed.

 

Jack is home and looking for Red.  He finds the engagement ring back in the box, sitting on the mantel.  Hmm.

 

Phyllis is lurking in the doorway of the The Underground, eavesdropping on Austin and Summer and their sickening flirting.  She asks if he’ll set her up with the good stuff.  Yeaaah.  He pours what looks like champagne in a glass, and Phyllis comes storming in and says don’t you dare take a drink of that!  Summer’s like what are you doing?!  “I’m about to smash this guy’s head in!  He’s getting you DRUNK!”  They’re just playing around!  It’s sparkling cider, what does she THINK they were doing? 

 

“I have NO idea.  You should be in COLLEGE, not hanging around in a bar in the middle of the day!”  Ummm, what does she think people DO in college?   Anyway, Summer shouldn’t be wasting her life watching her husband cut lemon wedges and mix drinks!  Did you hear that, Austin, you’re a loser.   And why hasn’t Summer been in contact with her?  Summer says after the news about her dad sank in, she was angry.  “I’m not just mad at Sharon, Mom.  I’m mad at you, too!”  Waaah!

 

Yep, Summer’s mad at Phyllis for the same reason Jack is.  “You had this completely life-changing information about me, and you decided to just keep it to yourself!”   She’s been blasting everyone else for not telling her things, while not telling her Nick is her Dad!  Phyllis says she WANTED to, but… Austin interrupts and says Summer’s been really upset.  She snaps at him to stay out of it!  “DON’T TALK TO HIM LIKE THAT!”  Summer says her ONLY thought was about getting revenge on Sharon, embarrassing her and getting her to confess.  “You didn’t even THINK ABOUT ME!”  Hell, she almost knocked you down. 

 

Phyllis is like how can you say that?  “You KNOW you’re the most important person in the world to me!”  Summer says it sure doesn’t feel like it.   She has grown up A LOT this year, so stop treating her like a kid whose feelings don’t matter.  Phyllis’ FIRST thought should have been for Summer and Jack and how they needed to know the truth. “How could you DO THAT to us?  Don’t you LOVE us anymore?”

 

Oh, yeah, well, Phyllis wants to know if anyone still loves HER.  Did Summer or Jack give it one bit of thought that maybe SHE needed reassurance??  WILL ANYONE THINK OF PHYLLIS?!?!  Oh, you mean like when everyone fell and slobbered and cried all over you while you ignored them and plotted against Sharon? 

 

Jack sits on the couch and stares at the engagement ring that Phyllis pawned to buy a dress to crash Nick’s wedding.  He flashes back to putting it on her comatose finger and pledging to wait for her as long as it takes.  He will WAIT!  Looks like he’s made a decision.  He sets down the ring, and calls Kelly from his landline because Phyllis stole his phone.  He probably has no idea her mom just had a heart attack.  He leaves her a message.

 

Sage thinks it’s too dangerous for Adam to go to GC.  He says no one’s going to recognize him.  She MEANS physically.  Whatever, he feels fine.  He’s gobbling down lunch without a care in the world, while Sage stalks around angrily.  He’s like…is something else going on?  She’s in love with you and never wants you to leave, dumbass. 

 

Constance wheels in.  She’s overjoyed to see her grandson’s handsome face.  He’s like yeah, thanks.  Sage clears her throat, like that wasn’t good enough.  He’s like, oh, uh, hey, great to see you, too, lady.  Oh, Gabriel, ever the charmer.  She’s glad he’s eating lunch, is he saving his spinach for last?  Actually, he doesn’t care for it.  Way to read the cues, Adam.  You suck at this.  Chelsea would be so embarrassed. Sage stares at him.  Constance is troubled, spinach is Gabriel’s FAVORITE!!  Adam’s like, crap!  He didn’t know there was going to be a quiz today.

 

Stitch and Billy are back in the garage.  Billy thinks maybe…someone took her.  It’s happened before, he says.  Stitch says they need the security footage from the garage cameras.  Billy will get it since he’s an Abbott.  Stitch decides to try calling Vicky again. Omg, they can hear her ringtone!

 

Poor, unloved Phyllis apologizes for snapping at them, and then ever so sadly trudges over and sits in a booth, so Summer can grovel at her feet about how she never stopped loving or thinking about her.   Phyllis is sad she missed that last, little bit of time before Summer moved out.  Summer swears she kept Phyllis in her head at all times and always asked if she would approve of her decisions.  Phyllis points at her wedding ring.  Even though she wouldn’t approve of that?  “Some things I did anyway…just like you would.” 

 

Phyllis admits she made some mistakes when she came back and actually apologizes for not coming to Summer and Jack with her suspicions first.  But when she woke up it was a whole new landscape.  She’s worried because deep down, she thinks maybe Jack has grown apart from her and doesn’t remember how they were together.  Summer insists Jack is still that same guy!  He loves them both! 

 

Not to be beaten in this What About Me contest, Summer says the toughest part for HER in all this is losing Jack as a father figure.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!  Will anything satisfy this girl?  I want ALL the Daddies!  Phyllis assures her she gets to keep both the Daddies.  And Jack might not remember how great they were as a couple, but SHE can make him remember.  Don’t worry about how.

 

Adam pretends his pain meds affected his taste for delicious spinach.  Otherwise, he’d be Popeye over here.  Sage pretends the doctors said that might happen.   They banter until Constance starts coughing, but she promises she’s brimming with good health.  She hopes Gabriel can seize his new lease on life, because something good can come from his harrowing ordeal, blah blah, see the bigger picture.  Adam is thoughtful.  He sure will.

 

Jeffery is worried about this spy cam thing and wants to call the police.  Chelsea promises it’s being HANDLED.  She’s a big girl.   So why is he really there?  More money of course, just to tide him over.  She says, oh, until this lawsuit against Stitch Rayburn reaps him a big fat check?   What does she care?  Well, she and Billy did kind of ruin his life enough already, maybe a lawsuit is pushing it a little.  Jeff thinks the only reason Billy would care is because it’s important to the Special Snowflake.  Chelsea ponders.

 

Billy says it’s just too damn loud in the garage to hear where the phone is coming from.  Stitch gets an idea and turns off the exhaust fans.  He tries the phone again and they hear it in the trash!  Vicky starts pounding on the door, and finally they hear it!  Billy grabs a fire extinguisher and breaks the lock.  She is NOT OKAY.  Billy says they’ll get her to the hospital right away, but she says it’s too late!  The baby’s coming NOW!

 

Phyllis gets home and Jack gives her a huge hug.  He didn’t know what to think of her engagement ring being back in the box.  She says it’s all part of her diabolical plan.  She doesn’t want to wear the ring and spread the news around town before the big party.  You know, Jack doesn’t really want a big blowout party for two old people who’ve been married 100 times.  She has a difficult question for him. 

 

They sit down, and she gets very serious.  “Are you having your doubts about us?”  She doesn’t want a patronizing answer, she wants the honest one.  Okay…the honest answer is--  NO, wait!  Don’t! She doesn’t want the answer!  She says she’s been rushing things.  She hasn’t even given him a chance to breathe before she popped that ring back on her finger.  He says, it IS your ring.  Yeah, but it should be part of a package.  “You want a package of rings?” teases Jack.

 

No, THE package, Jack.  The romance, the proposal, the ring.  Ohhh, Jack smiles.  Is that what you want?  Yes!  And she had it and she blew it.   She killed the romance and didn’t even give him a chance to hit the knee.  She feels gypped!  He feels that way, too.  She asks if it’s possible to go back, to the original proposal.  Can he say the words while she can finally look in his eyes and SEE the love?  She better be able to SEE the love, Jack.

 

Chelsea says she doesn’t need her father’s opinion of her love life.  Well, she’s gonna get it anyway.  Jeff’s got nothing against Billy, or his money, but he knows guys like him.  “I’M a guy like him.”  Chelsea laughs.  “You kinda have a high opinion of yourself, there, Jeff.”  Ha, but they’re both gamblers at heart and neither one of them is a saint.  Chelsea says that’s where the comparisons end.  She knows Billy’s not perfect, but she’s no saint either.  Jeff says Adam had his flaws, but at least he was pretty clear on who it was he loved.   Himself.

 

Constance would love to hear Adam’s new insights since the accident.  “Share.”  Sage and Adam are like, ummmm.  Best to be vague.  “Well, I’ve, uh, made many mistakes, um, taken things for granted, and I’ve been irresponsible.  I’ve not lived a respectful life.”  Oh, he’s being too hard on himself.  Adam says she’s just a very forgiving person.  But coming so close to death makes him want to be a better man blah blah.  This second chance has to count for something, right?  Constance asks how he plans to accomplish this.  Adam says he can start by not being so self-serving, and getting the hell out of this creepy castle and back into the world.  And [kill Billy] make things right.

 

Stitch calls an ambulance and then asks Billy to run up to the lab and get the medical kit.  Well, Billy’s not leaving Victoria, why can’t Stitch go get it?  BECAUSE HE’S THE DOCTOR.  Whatever, Billy delivered Delia, he’s totally an expert.  Fine, Stitch will go, but then Victoria gasps about this baby needs all of them working together.  Fine, Billy will go.  Why don’t they just get her out of the damn closet?

 

Now Summer pouts and feels awful that she got mad at her selfish mom.  She didn’t even think about how HARD this is on her.  She’s such a powerhouse that Summer forgot she can get conveniently get her feelings hurt to manipulate people.  Austin thinks Summer’s worried about Phyllis finding out about Jack and Kelly.  Summer had a glimmer of self awareness during her honesty rant that she hasn’t been completely honest herself. But she’s only trying to protect her.  Austin understands that.  “Do you think my mom will?”  NO.

 

Jack and Phyllis hold hands and stare in each other’s eyes.  He tells her about all the days he waited with anticipation for a flutter of an eyelash, anything.  How many days like that, asks Phyllis.  “Enough that I learned to live without you,” says Jack.  “I know it’s taken some time for me to get back there, to what we had, to what we were.  But I want you to know right now…I’m there now.  I feel it, all of it.  I love our connection.  And I feel that same lightness of heart and ease I had when I stuffed that ring box in my tuxedo pocket.  So I could meet you at that benefit, eager to pop the question!” 

 

Phyllis is tearfully smiling.  “So now I can honestly, and unconditionally, offer my pledge of forever to you, and ask that you do the same to me.”  She seems genuinely floored by this declaration.   He reaches in his pocket and pulls out the ring box.  Tears of joy roll down her face.  “Red, will you marry me?”  Yes!  Yes, yes!  He puts the ring on her finger.  “How’s that for a package?”  They embrace and kiss.  “Thank you,” whispers Phyllis.  “Make love to me, Jack.”  He would love nothing more. They run upstairs.  So long live Phack while Shick is fucked.  Thanks, show.

 

Sage says that’s very noble of Adam, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Mr. Man.  We still aren’t fully recovered.  Adam says it’s imminent.  He feels like a new man.  Constance gets very dramatic about when she thinks back to the night of that crash… he WAS NOBLE!  Trying to save the life of a man he didn’t even know…the despicable son of Victor Newman!  Adam looks a bit hurt, I mean, despicable seems a little harsh.  “He was an awful, awful man, running down this innocent, little girl!  I hate to say it, but the detestable, late Adam Newman probably didn’t deserve to be saved!”  Wow, despicable AND detestable.  Adam has sad feelz.

 

Stitch managed to drag Vicky out of the closet and against a trash can.  Fun.  He comforts her and tells her this is a happy day!  She’s having a baby!!  He really does have a nice bedside manner.  Billy comes back with the medical kit, and Stitch gets busy.  He demands to know how Vicky got locked in that closet but Stitch has his hands full, yo.  They agree to discuss it after they get this baby born.  Stitch and Billy comfort and encourage Victoria, which is kind of just, weird to do it this way.  I guess My Two Daddies is the theme for this year.  Blah blah scream scream.

 

Jack and Phyllis have afterglow in bed.  Phyllis asks what life was like while she was away.  “Ohh, it was awful,” says Jack.  “It was like being on a desert island, lost in a cave.”  She giggles.  “It was a terrible, joyless year,” he says seriously.  “All the time?” asks Phyllis.  Oh, for Pete’s sake, you WON, Phyllis, why are you ruining the moment?  “I’m not going to do this,” warns Jack.  Oh, come on, he can tell HER, she was gone a long time and he thought she was never coming back.  “Were you with anyone else?” she asks point blank. 

 

He says what kind of question is that?  She thinks it’s a reasonable question.  Jack stammers and stutters and says the doctor doesn’t want her to get, um, dehydrated!  She laughs and says there WAS someone, wasn’t there?!  “Don’t do this, okay?” says Jack.  She says in her fantasy he would be a hermit with no eyesight who couldn’t see women at all.  Go with that! says Jack.   She keeps cajoling him to tell her, until he finally reluctantly says, yes, there was someone.  Really.  Who was she?  Jack’s like, ugh.

 

Constance is gone, and Sage is all in a snit about how dangerous it is for him to go back to GC.  Adam says they both knew it was risky going into this, and nothing has changed.  Is there something she needs to tell him?  She wants you, man.

 

“Billy is still up to his eyeballs in Victoria’s life,” says Jeff.  And if this kid turns out to be his…  Well, Chelsea refuses to believe that a biological child is going to somehow magically just reunite Billy and Victoria like it totally did with her and Adam.  And don’t forget she and Billy share a bio child, too, also with Victoria.  He’s not impressed.   She wants to make him a deal to drop the frivolous lawsuit.  He grins, and she says she actually see the dollar signs bouncing around in his head.  So how much, Jeff?  He chuckles and says he’ll have to get back to her.   She rolls her eyes. 

 

“AAAHHHHHH!” says Victoria.  You know, I’m kind of like Abby, and I’d be okay with just seeing the result of this clean and wrapped in a blanket.  Do we have to do this part?  GC only has one ambulance, and it’s on the other side of town, so My Two Baby Daddies are going to have to love blah her through it.  YOU CAN DO THIS, VICTORIA!!!!!!!!!!   And she does.  There’s a wee little baby, and everyone smiles and cries over the miracle.  Aww, baby feelz.

 

Oh Em Gee, Summer’s life is SO TRAUMATIC.  What are they going to do about THANKSGIVING?  Waaah!  Are they supposed to eat dinner with Nick and the Newmans or Phyllis and the Abbotts?  Like her parents have never been divorced before this.  Austin wonders if they can just sit on the couch and watch football together, which doesn’t even warrant a response from Summer.  He doesn’t care because it’s another first holiday together.   Summer thinks she’s so different now because it’s not all me, me, me, and she discovered other humans have feelings, too.  Feelings about her.  She owes it all to her wonderful, poor husband.  They kiss.

 

“Give me a name,” says Phyllis.  Nope, a gentleman doesn’t talk.  He says it doesn’t matter what the name of the woman he dated and moved into your house was!  Okay, fine, if that’s how he wants it.  She snuggles up to him and says, “Because if I DID know who it was…I’d have to kill the bitch.”  Jack’s like omg.

 

Sage snaps at Adam that nothing’s changed, and she’s gone along with their arrangement so far, hasn’t she?  Adam says she has, and he wants her to remember they are BOTH getting something out of this.  Don’t try and alter the rules now.  She glares.  (My kid walked by and said, who’s that?  I said that’s Adam.  He goes, what is he 17 now?)

 

Chelsea leaves Billy an insecure message.  Why isn’t he picking up?  He always picks up when it’s her.  Waah. 

 

Billy’s comforting Victoria, and Stitch hands her a healthy, happy baby girl.  Billy gives Stitch a nod of credit.  Everyone loves the baby.

[PatsyandEddie]

Peach I love your son! He obviously gets his snarkiness from his clever mother :D

 

Austin should just order pizza and drink beer with Mariah while they watch football together. Summer got stupid again real fast. One nanosecond of" What about Jack?"  to her mother and then ""What about meeeee?" all over again. She's a chip off the old bitch errr, block.

[MollyB]

Just have to add my thanks and appreciation for the great re-caps.  I haven't watched the show since Deedeath but feel as if I haven't missed a thing.  Plus, several good belly laughs a day.  win/win.  Outstanding Service Awards to all who watch and live to comment.

[Runningwild]

I always seem to agree with your kid, Peach.  Like the other day I was 1/2 watching Maureen's heart attack and was shocked when the dr. said it was a heart attack.  "That was REAL?"  LOL

[ByTor]

Just don't ever stop injecting "waahh" into your recaps, cracks me up every time :)

[movinon]

I just turned on my computer and it was so nice to see a recap first thing.  Glad Victoria is out of the closet and has finally had that baby.  Now maybe we can get back to Joe.  lol 

[glowlights]

Thank god for peach's recaps, I didn't see this episode and it was way better to just read about it. So am I to understand they called 911 and no police could respond? Paul Williams couldn't get off his fat old ass? And no one who works in that fancy Jabot building noticed the exhaust fans were turned full blast for a whole day or, hello, a woman was giving birth in the parking garage? These writers are laughing at us.

 

Meredith Baxter's heart attack scene was priceless and will live forever on my DVR. Maybe the writers are laughing at us, but she's totally laughing at the writers. And I love her for it.

[peach]

Tue Nov 18     Victoria Deserves To Know

 

Nikki comes sneaking in her living room so she can sneak a fresh bottle of vodka on the living room bar.  And, well, since the last one is a quarter full, she might as well put that in her purse.  Waste not, want not.  “My baby is back!” says Victor, coming in behind her.  “Now that we’ve put all the troubles behind us, we should celebrate.”

 

Victoria holds her cute little baby in the hospital, flanked by Stitch and Billy.  Awkward.  For me, at least. They’re all so gaga over the baby that now they're BFF’s joking about the parking garage delivery, bro!  Vicky tells the baby she’s one lucky little girl with two people willing to do whatever it took to bring her into the world.  Stitch and Billy look at each other and both say, “Three.”  Jinx!  Billy has to buy Stitch a Coke!!  Maybe this can be a new sitcom.  Two Men & An Annoying Woman & A Baby.  Vicky starts to kind of faint or something and her monitor beeps.  Stitch tells Billy to go get a doctor!!

 

Jack’s working at night, probably because he never works during the day, and gives Hilary a bunch of tasks.  She’ll finish them up in the morning so she can get out of there.  “Do you have a hot date?” asks Jack.  She’s grinning, and Neil comes clacking in.  He hopes it’s with him!  She stops grinning.  Neil gives Jack some grief because he never used to work his employees such long hours before!  Jack’s like, uh, didn’t realize I was doing that now.  Hmm. 

 

Neil says to cut his beautiful wife some slack so he can take her to dinner.  Aw, Neil, she can’t, she has a meeting.  He looks crushed.  I thought Hilary was supposed to be clever when she came to town.  This is a really stupid lie to tell in front of your boss, who is also friends with your husband, since he offers to handle it.  I don’t think you want to handle sleeping with Devon tonight, Jack.  Hilary immediately says no!  Jack looks surprised.

 

Devon’s all spiffed up and putting champagne on ice at the bar.  Real discreet.  Colin’s lurking around, and hopes they can finish their earlier conversation.  Devon tries to brush him off.  “I wonder if your dad knows just how hands on you really are around here?  Maybe I should tell him.”  Devon unconvincingly plays dumb.  “You can go on and tell him what you want.” 

 

He tries to walk away, but Colin follows him around.  “But while we’re having a chat, he might find out all kinds of things.”  Like what?  “Oh, please,” sneers Colin, “don’t make me say it.”   Devon’s not really sure what he’s talking about.  Okay, no more hinting then.  “You’re having sex with his wife.”  Colin says he found this secret out by accident and has been agonizing over [how much to get] what to do with the information.    He’s come to a decision.

 

Nikki’s all panicky about the vodka she stashed in her purse.  Victor asks if he shall have Bonnie fix them a special dinner tonight?   She’s not in the mood for a celebration.  He says he knows she doesn’t approve of some of the methods he used to expose Sharon, but, hey,it all worked out in the end!  So it’s totally okay to drive a mentally ill woman out of her mind with her dead child.  Nikki says he was right.   Sharon was keeping some damaging things from Nicholas that needed to come out.   Great, she agrees.  So now they can go back to how things were before all this disruption, if by that he means plotting all over the world while she fell into the gutter.  

 

She wants that more than anything, she says in a puny voice.  She just realized the toll the last few months have taken on her.  Blah blah BLAAAH about how she’s also been at fault.  Her drinking guilt is making her all weepy and they hug and comfort and blah blah, and I guess it’s super romantic that this jacked up pair of murderers and psychopaths can reunite in love and compassion while Sharon is burned at the stake.  Thanks, show.

 

Hilary can’t let Jack take her meeting with so much on his own plate.  But Neil came all the way into town to take her to dinner!  Yeah, she chides, after she already TOLD him she was going to be LATE because of WORK, and doesn’t he have Braille homework?  NEIL apologizes for interrupting her disgusting career plans.  He’s sure she spent a long time prepping for this meeting.  She did.  She waxed and everything.  Jack’s like, I’m not even sure who this meeting is with?  Neil says it’s only important that Hilary knows who it’s with. Right, why would her boss know?  Jack smells a rat.  She leaves.

 

Neil tells Jack how lucky he is to have beautiful, sexy, working late every night Hilary.  Yeah.   Neil claims he’s a little bit psychic except for his wife’s lame excuses, so he wants to know how Jack’s doing since Hurricane Phyllis blew into town.  “I’m still standing, Neil.”  Yeah, well, he’s doing better than some.  Neil heard she leveled Sharon, and he can only imagine what it’s done to Kelly.  Jack says Kelly is fine for now, because she doesn’t know the truth.  He’s getting back together with Phyllis.    “So, where does that leave Kelly?”  Jack shakes his head.

 

Kelly is frustrated at the hospital because the nurse won’t tell her anything about Maureen’s surgery.  She has to wait for the doctor.  She listens to her voicemail from Jack.  He says he spoke to Phyllis…and he needs to see her.  Doesn’t sound too promising. 
Billy’s already acting like this baby is his.  The doctor checks out Victoria and says it’s just her significant blood loss plus spending the night in a freezing cold closet.  She sends the baby to the nursery and tells the men to leave Vicky alone to rest.  They start to leave, but Vicky asks to talk to Stitch alone.  Billy tries to only pout a little bit.

 

Abby comes racing into the hospital and meets up with Billy.  She wants all the highlights.  Billy’s not in the mood, the important thing is Vicky and Baby are okay.   She can’t believe she went through all those hours of preparation and Vicky goes and has the baby without her!  She’s super glad that if she couldn’t be there, that Billy was instead.  So was Stitch, says Billy, and he’s in there right now.  She’s like, Billy what the hell is wrong with you??
Vicky knows, Stitch.  She knows you didn’t kill your father.  He’s almost speechless.  How..how would she know that?  Maureen told her.  They were both at Jabot, and Vicky told Mo she thought he was innocent.  Stitch is like, omg.  “You saw my mom at Jabot?”  The mom that was sprawled in front of the janitor’s closet?  Vicky says she thought Kelly killed his dad, but then Mo finally admitted it was her.  Stitch knows what’s coming next.  Vicky conveniently skips over trying to call the police, and says she was trying to go to her car.  Mo said she was afraid Vicky was going to ruin her life, probably because Vicky said she was, and she wouldn’t let her.  Stitch closes his eyes.  “Omg.  She’s the one who locked you in the closet, isn’t she?”

 

Colin tells Devon that stuff happens, and he doesn’t pass judgment, but he wants two million dollars.  He thinks it would be cheap at twice the price to protect his father.  And Devon won’t miss it, so it’s a win.  Unless something bad happens, says Devon, and you get arrested for blackmail.  It is a Class H felony.  Colin’s surprised by this reaction.  When did Devon stop simpering and get tough?  Devon says it really makes him wonder, because Colin has such a good thing going with Jill, and it makes no sense that he’d risk losing that AND going to jail.  So what kind of financial problems is he in, anyway?  It must be bad if he’s resorting to blackmail.

 

Colin prefers to think of it as quid pro quo.  Devon says he can call it whatever he wants to, but he doesn’t want to be doing this to him.  Colin agrees, he DOESN’T want to be doing it.  So the best thing would be just to tell Neil the truth.  Clever Hilary walks in the doors of the club she can conduct her affair in front of God and everybody.  Devon worries.

 

Jack confides in Neil that it wasn’t fair to let Kelly give her heart to him, and he did it anyway.  He feels selfish.  He didn’t even think about what it would do to her if this happened, or maybe he just didn’t care.  But now Kelly is going to get her heart torn out again, and just thinking about it makes him sick.   Neil says he can’t keep putting this off, he doesn’t want her to hear it from someone else.   Jack agrees.  Neil will be there for him. 

 

So what’s going on in Neil’s life?  He guesses he’s okay.  He’s trying to be realistic.  “How’s that going?” asks Jack.  Neil would be lying if he said there weren’t a lot of days he wanted to drink.  Poor Neil.  :( Jack hears that.  But Neil’s going to be strong to get through this.  Kelly calls and tells Jack her mom had a heart attack!  Omg!  He’s on his way!

 

Victor and Nikki continue making me sick.  They’re starting again on [sharon’s ashes] solid ground, says Victor.  He gets a business call.  Nikki sneaks over to the vodka bottle and uncaps it.  Then she puts the cap back on.  She quivers with the effort not to drink it.

 

Colin tells Devon that keeping what he knows to himself just kinda stinks.  He thinks he’s gotta tell Neil.  Devon says by all means, go ahead and tell Neil what he THINKS he knows.  And HE will go ahead and tell Jill and Cane what he thinks about Colin’s financial problems.  So, Devon wants to play hardball.  Colin’s financial problems are dumb anyway.  It was Jill’s idea to give the Bad Guy a fake necklace, and she’s the one with a fraudulent 18 million dollars, so I don’t know why Colin is hiding that HER idea didn’t work, so fork over 2 mill of her ill-gotten gains.  This is probably more fun, though. 

 

“You’re playing a dangerous game here, kid,” says Colin.  “So are you, mate,” retorts Devon.  Yeah, but Colin’s a pro, and Devon’s an amateur.  He doesn’t want to lose.  Devon’s like whatever.  He stalks off to talk to Hilary who’s waiting for him at the bar where their whole family works and hangs out.  “He knows,” says Hilary.  Devon says he doesn’t have any proof.  But he suspects!  What if he tells Cane or Neil!  CANE ALREADY SAW HIS STANK ASS IN YOUR BED.  Devon says he won’t because he wants money, but he’s not getting anything.  Hilary stresses out, but Devon says he is NOT going to let that lowlife hurt Neil or her.  Devon is the lowlife hurting Neil around here.

 

Abby blathers her crap about doing whatever it takes to hang on to the person that you love.  And DON’T tell her he doesn’t love Victoria.  He says it doesn’t matter.  Of course it matters!  And Billy and Victoria have the kind of love that the rest of us just dream about!  I know I do.  If only I could meet a childish, drunken gambler who cheats on me.  My life would be perfect! 

 

Abby says now he’s out in the waiting room, while Stitch is in there with Vicky.  Doesn’t he want her back?  Billy says he knows this is hard for her to grasp, but it’s NOT ABOUT HIM.  She just gave birth in a parking garage and she and the baby survived.  He can’t think past that right now.  Well, he’s going to have to, or else Stitch is going to take both of them away from him.   He’s going to wake up one day and wonder why the hell he let that happen!  While he’s with Adam’s ex (um, she’s his widow), who’s probably thrilled Billy’s been out baby birthing all day.

 

Billy’s like, who??  Oh, yeah, Chelsea.  He got so wrapped up with Vicky and the baby he TOTALLY forgot to call her.  And then there’s Nikki and Victor.  Stitch goes blazing past them without a second glance.  Abby says that takes care of one problem.   She goes in to harass Victoria.  Jack walks by and they’re both like, what are you doing here?  Kelly’s mom had a heart attack!  Victoria had the baby!  Jack thinks that’s fantastic.  They hug. 

 

Billy says it’s been a long night, and a long year.  Just when he thought he was picking up the pieces, and moving on…he got one look at that little girl and…  “All those feelings you have for Victoria came flooding back,” says Jack.   Billy says it doesn’t change anything.  Jack says he’s been saying the same thing, but you can’t do that for too long.

 

Agitated Stitch races up to Kelly.  Mom hasn’t woken up from surgery yet.  Kelly asks if he found Victoria.  Oh, yeah, he found her.  They didn’t get to talk because she was in labor!  So she had her baby?!  Stitch says it was a little girl, and he delivered her.  Along with Billy.  She’s like, ugh, that must have been awkward.  Well, she hasn’t heard the best part.  Victoria had her baby in the Jabot parking garage because their mom locked her in a janitor’s closet.  Kelly almost laughs in disbelief.  “Why would she do THAT?!”

 

Abby says when they discussed a wilderness birth, she didn’t have a parking garage in mind!  They giggle.  Billy comes back in, so Abby decides to leave and go tell other people about the baby.  She promises GC Buzz won’t hear it from her.  On the way out she tells Billy not to screw this up.  Vicky and Billy stare at each other soulfully.

 

Victor and Nikki look at a photo album of their wonderful times, so it must have like two pages.  He wants both the kids and all his grandchildren to come for Thanksgiving.  She really hopes Nicholas is up to it.   He put his heart and soul into his new life with Sharon, which isn’t saying much, and now this has happened.  She tells Victor he’s filing for full custody of Faith.  He’s very glad to hear that!  Nikki thinks they should give Faith lots of extra attention while they take her loving mother away from her.   Victor just doesn’t want his grandchildren to suffer any more harm except for tearing apart the fabric of their lives.  Abby comes in and says make that ALL three of his granddaughters!  Victoria had a girl!  Nikki’s overjoyed.  Victor wants to go right to the hospital.  Interfering Abby stops him because Victoria has MORE than enough support right now, so don’t interrupt Billyboy Abbott.

 

Billy jokes about the baby’s career choices.  He knows how much she wanted another baby.  They gush about how AMAZING they both are.  Billy will even give Stitch a little credit for his doctoring.  She explains that she needed to talk to Stitch about something personal, and Billy says he really doesn’t care about it.  He just cares about her and this baby.   He talks about how holding her reminded him of Delia.  Blah blah.  “I was looking down at this tiny, new life, and I saw hope.  And all the possibilities for a new beginning.”  They stare at each other.

 

Kelly’s like WHY would Mom lock Victoria in a closet?  She’s pregnant for crying out loud, with possibly HER grandchild!  Stitch says Mom’s been through a lot, okay.  Something happened a long time ago.  He’d rather wait and let her explain it herself.  Really?  Because she might lock Kelly in a closet next.  She’s aggravated that he won’t just tell her!  “More trouble for Mom, why doesn’t that surprise me?” 

 

Kelly whines about how ever since she was little, she’s felt nothing but resentment for her.  Mom was SO jealous of her relationship with Dad that she always tried to keep them apart.  Stitch is sure she had her reasons.   Whatever they were, she wouldn’t tell Kelly what they were, no matter how much she asked! So she gave up.  Stitch thinks she tried to reach out to her after Sam died.  Too little, too late!  They just cannot connect. 

 

When she heard Mom had a heart attack, she got a sick feeling she was going to lose someone else she loved.  How crazy is that, because how can you lose something you never had.  Cue Jack to enter.  He got there as soon as he could.  Kelly’s so glad he’s there!  “God, I need you so much!”  She falls in his arms.  He hugs her awkwardly.

 

Devon and Hilary have their “meeting” in the corner of the club and hiss angrily about how Colin is ruining their boring, trashy affair.   Hilary says he must have SEEN them going in that hotel room together, while they MADE OUT IN THE HALLWAY.  Even if he did, Devon says, he has no proof.  Devon hates this and what it’s doing to her and Neil, but it’s because he LOVES her.  Hilary loves him, too, but this is a mess!  COLIN knows about it.  Jill’s husband!  Cane’s father!  Maybe he should just give Colin the money!  No way, says Devon, then he’ll just keep coming back for more.  Hilary says maybe there’s another way to end this.

 

Neil comes clacking in!  Because where else would he go out to eat when his wife is working late?  Colin’s so happy to see him!  He’d love to have a talk with him about that wonderful wife of his.  Neil loves to talk about Hilary!

 

Victoria is on speaker phone with Victor and Nikki.  Blah blah, she’s just a little tired, they can come tomorrow.  “Is BillyAbbott harassing you?  I can send hospital security,” blusters Victor.  We love you, sweetheart!

 

Victoria apologizes to Billy for her rude father.  He’s used to it.  He says it’s just going to get worse once he sees the baby, he’s going to fall in love with her.  Vicky thanks him for not asking questions she doesn’t have answers to, while she keeps him on a string for as long as possible.  Stitch walks in.  Hey, you, too.  Thanks to both of you while I jerk you around.  Would somebody just swab that kid now, please?

 

The doctor brings the baby back for her dinner, and tells Billy and Stitch to give mother and daughter time to bond.  So get out.  Billy calls Chelsea and tells her what’s up.  He’s probably going to stick around all night long, so see ya.  He tells Stitch he’ll be sticking around, so he can go.  Stitch is like, yeah, right, he’s staying, too.   Of course.

 

Hilary says they have to tell Neil the truth.  Devon thought she said he couldn’t handle it.  “How do you think he’s going to handle it if he finds out?”  Then they have to make sure he finds out when THEY are ready to tell him.

 

Colin is pretending that Hilary doesn’t want him at their Thanksgiving dinner because of crap she read about him online.  He thinks she needs to learn a leopard can change his spots.  Neil says if anyone understands that, it’s his girl, Hilary.  He’ll talk to her.  She walks up and greets him.  Honey!  He didn’t know her business meeting was HERE!  Yeah, Colin says, he saw that meeting with her associate.  It looked pretty intense.  Hilary glares.

 

Kelly gets all bubbly and weird with Jack.  She says she’s been there all alone imagining all kinds of things.  He’s sorry he wasn’t there for her.  It’s okay!  She knows he went to talk to Phyllis!  “So, did you tell her about us?”  Um, well, he told Phyllis that he started seeing someone while she was still in a coma.  She’s like, oh, sweetie, this must be so hard for you.  “I..hate..hurting someone I care this much about.  Especially when I know all that she’s been through.”  Jack, you’re going to have to get way more specific than that.  “But Phyllis is strong!” says Kelly.  “Kelly…” starts Jack, but the nurse interrupts and says Maureen is ready to see her.  She’ll have to finish this later.  “I love you!” she says all moony before walking away.  Jack looks sad.

 

Abby tells Victor that Victoria’s in good hands.  With BillyAbbott?!  That waste of space should not be there.  Abby says that waste of space helped deliver his granddaughter.  Nikki reminds him that Billy might be the father of this baby.  Oy, says Victor.  Abby knows that this baby can’t replace Delia, except for how she totally does and is a sign from the universe that Billy and Victoria belong together!  Victor doesn’t believe in signs, K?  And he does not believe BillyAbbott should be with Victoria.  Abby’s like would you prefer killer Stitch?  NEITHER of them is worthy, okay?  Like it or not, one of them is about to be tied to her forever, says Nikki.  “We’ll see about that,” says Victor.  If he can get rid of Sharon, he can get rid of these losers.

 

The doctor tells Billy and Stitch not to put too much pressure on Victoria.  Give her some time to sort everything out.  Or you could just do a DNA test and legally sort it out.  She goes in the room, and the Queen Bee sits and smiles while her two pawns stare at her like goofballs through the door.  The doctor says those two men out there deserve to know who the father is.  Victoria thinks she deserves to know, too.  Okay, well, you’re the reason we don’t know, Ms. Snowflake.

 

Devon also says hi to Neil.  Gosh, he didn’t expect to see him there tonight, because he’s an idiot.  Neil says again he didn’t know Hilary was doing business there.  Colin says it seems like this is the place in Genoa City for business, and pleasure.  Devon and Hilary narrow their cheating eyes, but Colin is stone cold. 

 

Neil grins and says this man, Devon, has one hell of an operation here.  “Oh, he does, indeed,” says Colin.  Neil babbles about Colin spending Thanksgiving with them, and Colin says he’s looking forward to spending time with such a CLOSE family.  Speaking of family, Neil thinks they should all have dinner together RIGHT NOW!  Colin thinks that’s a GREAT idea. He’ll buy!  He assures Neil it’s cool because he’s had a recent upturn in his finances, thanks to Devon.  He closed a deal with him at the club. 

 

Hilary haughtily takes Neil to a table, and Colin leans in to Devon and tells him 2 million, tomorrow, in cash.  “Otherwise, I tell him.”

[movinon]

Thanks for another fun recap, Peach.  I have to read it here, because after I FF everything with Colin, Neil, Hillary, and Devon in it, there isn't much show left.  The baby is at least cute and unusually small, and I like babies.  That said, the DNA test will take forever and probably be tampered with, Nick will continue to rave like a madman, and Jack will still be standing around with his mouth hanging open in early December.  I do love Jack, but he is killing me with this crap.  At least, stuff is happening......stuff.

[Foghorn Leghorn]

If they mess with another paternity test I will scream!!

[peach]

.  At least, stuff is happening......stuff.

 

..and things.

[peach]

Wed, Nov 19      Every Man For Himself

 

Some killer black pumps are walking down the hallway to Avery’s office.  It’s Sharon.  “What are you working on?  Nick’s case against me?”  And if I am, says Avery.  “You didn’t think I’d just let you take my child away from me, did you?”  Fight, Sharon, fight!

 

Nick and Dylan have bro talk at Crimson Lights about Victoria and the baby.  Dylan likes hearing about “our niece.”  It’s super cool, you guys.  They’ll go visit soon, like an uncle brigade thing.  Dylan says it’s a good way to stay busy and focus on the good stuff.  Is Dylan asking about Sharon stuff, says Nick.  He’s FINE, btw, but Dylan’s not buying it.  Nick admits when he thinks about what Sharon did, he gets so mad he can’t think straight.  Mmm hmm.  So, if he can’t think straight, says Dylan, what’s he going to do?  Is he going to move on, or make Sharon pay?

 

This show seems to understand that if they’re going to give me a sanctimonious serving of infuriating Nick Newman, I better get a heaping helping of hot Joe Clark to make up for it.   He’s all in black, lounging against the bar and approaches Lauren as she walks in.  Would she like to join him at the bar?  She kind of gasp giggles and says he’s so sweet, but she’s looking for someone.  He believes HE is the person she’s looking for.  She’s like, excuse me?  While trying not to drool. 

 

Michael sits pitifully in the doctor’s office, and Kevin crashes his appointment.  Michael tells him to get out, but Kevin just picks up some magazines.  “Do you think I’m just going to sit here allow you to invade my privacy over and over again like this?”  Oh, does Michael think Kevin’s going to “allow” him to go through this alone?  No! 

 

Nick insists there’s no making Sharon pay, he’s just gotta help his kids through this.   Dylan points out she does love them, and they do love her.  Yeah, HER kids.  NICK’S kid she threw right under the bus.   Well, she sort of threw her IN the bus, a big, fancy, golden, Abbott bus.  That’s why Dylan asked him about payback.  Nick doesn’t want to make Sharon PAY, okay, he doesn’t want to be anywhere near her!  But his kids are stuck right in the middle of this, which he hates.  He hates it a LOT, you guys!  Mariah comes sweeping by.  “Yeah, you’re not the only one, bud.”  Nick’s like, wait, what?

 

Sharon explains to Avery that Faith is surrounded by pain, and confusion, and chaos.  She’s not going to allow her become some pawn just because Nicholas is upset with her!  “So this is Nick’s fault?” asks Avery.  “I hurt him.  This is exactly what I wanted to avoid.  And now he’s lashing out at me.  None of his decisions make any sense!  If he wanted to protect Faith, dragging her through some legal mess is not the way to do it.”  Avery looks down her nose and says if she wants to avoid a legal mess, then just give up custody.  Seriously, are you on drugs?? “Never,” says Sharon.  And not because she’s selfish, but because her daughter NEEDS her. 

 

Okay, says Avery, then legal case it is.  You know, says Sharon, if Avery had ever really cared about Faith, she’d be talking Nicholas out of this right now.  So evidently, that was all an act.  Avery says that Faith will be cared for by the parent capable of doing so, and that is NICK.  “And you, Sharon, are going to get exactly what you deserve.”  Good thing Dylan and Austin never get what they deserve.

 

Michael wants to handle this alone.  Kevin hasn’t told Lauren or Gloria, so he can back him up on what he wants, but only so far.  People say you need a buddy to take notes at oncology appointments, and that’s what he’s going to do.  As a lawyer, Michael should get this, but he continues being stubborn and boring.  Kevin’s worried Michael’s going to lie to himself.

 

Lauren chuckles about Joe saying he’s “the one she’s looking for.”  Nice try.  He says, really, I’m Joe Clark.  She’s like, omg, you are the one I’m looking for.  She’s embarrassed, but he gets it.  She probably gets hit on all the time, a beautiful lady like herself.  Ohhh, Joe, she laughs.  She gazes raptly at him while he explains he’s a client of her husband’s and has a strictly business proposition for her.

 

Mariah gets her coffee, and Nick walks over to talk to her.  He’s glad he ran into her, since they haven’t talked since..well..  Yeah, Summer filled her in, which was awesome since it’s all her fault for sharing Sharon’s genes.  Nick says Summer’s just going through a rough time right now, and nobody blames Mariah.  “SHE does.”  She gazes at Nick for a second, just taking in all the douchebaggery.  “I heard you moved out of Sharon’s.”  “Did you expect me to stay?” he asks pissily. 

 

Hmm.  Time for some truth darts.  “From what I’ve heard, you and Sharon have caused a LOT of damage to each other.  And weren’t you married when precious snowflake Summer was conceived?”  BURN!  Look, Nick hates what he put Sharon through.  But they were both adults, so it was okay to betray a grieving mother.  But what Sharon did to his daughter that he lied about for 18 years?  The way she hurt her??  That is UNFORGIVABLE.   Hurting Noah was okay, though.

 

“So even though she was SICK, and she regrets EVERYTHING that she did?  And even though YOU SWORE that you would be a family, and that you could get through anything…”  Hey, Nick meant that, except not really.  Not if she did this.  If it had been ANYTHING ELSE except what it was, he knows they could have gotten through it as a family, all of them.  “Instead, it’s every man for himself,” says Mariah. 

 

Mariah, it’s not like that!  She’s Cassie’s sister, he loves having her in his life.  The last thing he wants is for her to feel in the middle of this, like she has to choose sides.  Omg, he’s on the same drugs as Avery!  Mariah gazes steadily at him.  “People always have to choose.  And I will, too.”  She looks away.  And she ain’t choosing faithless you, dickhead.

 

Sharon says it’s not up to AVERY to decide what she deserves.  Regardless, this is about what FAITH deserves, which is love and support, and not to be dragged through her parents’ issues.  Avery is so excited to bring up how despite Sharon’s strong maternal instinct, she’s the one who used Faith to come between Nick and her.  Look, Faith just DOESN’T LIKE YOU, Avery.  Sharon says first of all, she was ill back then, and secondly, Avery left Nick at the altar all on her own.  And what does it matter since she’s sooo happy with Dylan now?

 

Avery says it’s a pattern of behavior with her.  She watches her do terrible things to people and somehow always make it someone else’s fault.  She tormented her niece, and it was sick and cruel.  And she doesn’t give a damn if she DIDN’T push Phyllis down the stairs, she’s the reason her sister lost a year of her life.  She’s the reason Summer didn’t have a mother to turn to when she needed one the most. 

 

Sharon feels TERRIBLE about what she did to Summer and Nick, but she can’t apologize ENOUGH!  NOW, she’s healthy.  Nick’s gone, and she’s NOT falling into a million pieces.  She’s thinking like a mother and trying to protect her child.  “Well Nick thinks HE is best suited to take care of Faith.”  Well, Nick is wrong, says Sharon.  That’s not what’s best. 

 

“You know, you can’t understand this, Avery, because you don’t have children of your own.  But if you did, I guarantee you would be fighting on my side to help me keep my child.  You are fighting on the wrong side.  You’re fighting against motherhood.  You won’t win this fight.”  Avery claims she’s given her all the ammunition she needs.  She can’t possibly lose!  Sharon walks out and looks really worried.

 

Joe has a prospectus for Lauren to put a new boutique in the new warehouse district project.  They both think it’s super exciting and high class like themselves.  It was so lovely to meet each other.

 

The doctor comes in, and Michael makes Kevin leave.  Doc thinks it would be great for Kevin to stay, but it’s the patient’s call.  Fine, Kevin has better things to do.  Blah blah blah Web MD. 

 

Nick goes to see Avery.  She’s drafting a motion but complains that she had to waste time talking to Sharon who has the gall to want to keep her child.  So, she wanted to ask Avery NOT to take the case?  Avery says she told her the way to avoid a fight was to give up custody.  Nick’s like, are you taking my drugs? She’d never do that!  She doesn’t see herself as a danger to Faith, probably because she isn’t.   So they have to go to court.  Victor, I mean, Nick says sure it will be rough, but it will be worth it if he gets custody! 

 

The truth comes out how crappy his case really is.  Nick doesn’t think so, he got custody the last time he wanted to screw her over.  She has a history of instability to use against her.  Yes, but she’s been managing her illness for months.  And just a week ago he considered her a fit parent.  Nick’s mind is blown.  “Are you saying there’s a chance I could lose?!”   She knows that’s a foreign concept for a Newman, but this is a tricky case.  And it will be an ugly battle.  Nick ponders this strange idea.

 

Sharon’s walking through the park and runs into Dylan.  She’s like, oh…bye.  She starts to walk away but he stops her.  He was wondering when he would run into her.  Why, because he talked to Avery who told him everything?   Yeah, and he spoke to Nick, too.  Okay, so now you know I lied, she says defensively.  “I lied, and one man thought he was a father when it wasn’t true at all…just like Chelsea and you.”  Dylan says, well, it wasn’t quite the same.  Yeah, well, close enough for government work.  Whatever he wants to say, she’s already said to herself 100 times, so she’s leaving.  No, wait, he really needs to tell her this.

 

Michael talks about his treatment protocol.  Blah blah blah.  Michael wants to just eat tomatoes.  That’s probably not going to work in his case.  The doctor says the web can be a valuable resource, but seriously, GTF off the internet and talk to doctors instead.  His ED is just some other problem, so now Michael has cancer AND erectile dysfunction.  And this show just made me talk about it.  Oh, and he needs more tests.

 

Mariah visits with Kevin at Crimson Lights.  He can’t discuss his drama, so she can tell him about hers.  She wasn’t looking for a family, and one was thrust upon her, and it turns out they didn’t actually suck.  But then it turned out her kinda sorta family is just as screwed up as everything else in her life.  But Sharon will probably still buy her clothes.

 

Sharon KNOWS.  She’s a terrible person, and he despises her now.  She can’t hear any more of that.  Dylan’s like, hold on.  He hates what she did, but despise HER?  No!  That would make him a big hypocrite if he did.  She’s confused, he didn’t tell Chelsea to lie about Connor.  He says but afterward, when he ran off with Connor, it was like his brain went off to this other place where he only had ONE mission, and he was ABSOLUTELY sure it was the right thing to do.  Anything could have happened to that child, because of the switch in his head. 

 

Sharon’s taken aback by this understanding from another person.  “I was so confused.  I was ill.  I was damaged!  The thoughts I had when I switched those results, I would never think that way now, never!”  Dylan gets it.  But after that, if she knew it was wrong and it was nagging at her to do the right thing…?  Sharon admits she did know.  Then that’s what she has to deal with now.  She’s not sure she knows how to.  Dylan says she still needs therapy, and she needs to take baby steps with herself, and the people she hurt.  They don’t owe her forgiveness, but she has to earn it.  Or just accept it might never come. 

 

She listens and nods.  “But..you don’t hold it against me?”  Dylan smiles.  “You were my friend when I came to town.  A good friend.  And you’re a good mom to Faith, and that’s what it comes down to.  There’s a lot of good in you.  Way more good than the bad!  Trust me.  Just find your way back, and don’t lose sight of who you really are.”  Sharon smiles with tears in her eyes.  “Thank you.  That means more to me than you know.”  That might be the nicest thing anyone’s ever said on this show.

 

Nick says he’s not forgotten about his parents going round and round.  They have to figure out how to get rid of Sharon without Faith getting caught in the middle.  Avery promises to take away her mother as painlessly as possible.  “Which is with me,” says Nick.  Faith stayed with him last night, and she’s quiet and confused, but every day and night she’s with him, the better off she’ll be, even though Sharon’s done absolutely nothing to her.  I’m sure she won’t even miss her, the longer she stays with Nick the better it will get. 

 

Avery explains that right now it’s at Sharon’s discretion, which she is using to GIVE HIM WHAT HE WANTS.  He has no legal right to maintain the physical custody he demanded, so to take that position he has to take great pains to make sure Sharon can see Faith as much as she wants to.  IOW, you can’t steal her, dickhead.  That’s why he wants this case to move as quickly as possible so he can cut Sharon out.  And yeah, a week ago he did think she was a good mother.  But that’s before he knew what she was capable of LAST year regarding his lies.   “When you have this made up image of someone and it’s broken up into a million little pieces, ugh,” it’s just so hard for perfect Nick.

 

Avery understands.  Is she talking about Dylan?  Nooo, she knows Dylan the forgivable crazy babynapper.  But she’s beginning to think she never knew her ex-husband.  Nick goes all caveman.  “Is Joe bothering you??”  No.  She used to consider him very detached…but this deal with him going after Dylan’s paltry coffee house, it’s becoming painfully clear he’s trying to punish her!  Wait, so punishing your ex is WRONG?  Okay, just checking. 

 

Nick says, hey, she’s moved on and is happy without him.  Avery pouts and says apparently she was supposed to be miserable and alone.  Forget that!  Look, Avery is his friend and ex-fiancee, and Dylan is his brother!  “I don’t know who this Joe dude thinks he is, but he can’t do what I can do in this town!  I can get this deal stopped.  Just say the word.”  Oh, you mean, your DADDY can get it stopped?  Because you’re a fucking bartender. 

 

“That coffee house means a lot to a lot of people.  It means a lot to me.”  Waaah!  “You’re first step away from Victor,” says Avery.  “And where you proposed to Sharon.”  Um, hey, well, that’s not in the plus column right now.  Nick talks about how they used to have a tribute to Cassie there, and he still feels that every time he goes on that patio, so he’s not going to let this guy tear it down brick by brick or blow it up, just so he can feel like some big man.   Have you seen Joe?  He IS a big man.  She doesn’t need Nick’s help, she has a plan of attack.  He finally leaves.

 

Avery’s on the phone, and Big Man Joe comes in.  She stares.  “Before you throw anything at me, I’m here to see my attorney.”  She doesn’t believe him, so why doesn’t he get out!

 

Michael meets Lauren for lunch.  She shows him the prospectus from Joe.  Savvy guy, substantial financial backing, and some might say he’s handsome if that’s your type.  Lauren says she didn’t notice.  Her type just walked in.  They get gross with PDA again.  Blah blah.

 

Sharon sits in the park and sadly looks at a photo of her beloved daughter.  Nick happens by.  She jumps up and says they need to talk about Faith!  He’s consulted with his attorney, and she’s going to be with Sharon for the next few days.  Well, thanks, God.  “Where she should be,” says Sharon.  Nick says it’s temporary until a judge can decide.  Sharon asks why he would put her through this?  Because he doesn’t TRUST Sharon, he doesn’t trust Faith to be safe with her.  “I would never hurt her!” 

 

Nick says she’s done a lot of damage in the past when she’s gotten off her meds.  “I’m not OFF my meds.”  Yeah, but she could get off’em in a second’s notice, and not tell anyone before it’s too late.   (Mr. Newman, isn’t it true that you didn’t mind Ms. Newman having full custody of your daughter the LAST time you KNEW she was off her meds?  And isn’t it also true that your father hired a young woman to break into her house and pretend to be a dead person to trick Ms Newman into thinking she was hallucinating?  And that you continued to allow your father to have unsupervised access to your daughter?)

 

Sharon says she’s not going to have him scaring her daughter and making her think it’s not safe to be around her.  Nick says he would never turn Faith against her, for Faith’s sake, not hers.  Faith needs to feel secure.  And maybe she would be safe with Sharon, but maybe not.  He won’t take that chance.  He starts to walk off, and she says, so you’re just going to call your lawyers, and take control of everything!  Just like VICTOR NEWMAN would do!  Oh, that hurts.  So he just wants to talk through their lawyers from now on, so she better get one.  Fine, my lawyer says you’re acting JUST LIKE VICTOR.

 

Oh, she thinks that sounds just brilliant.  They’ll get lawyers and talk to them and they’ll talk to each other and get back to them.  We will raise a child without ever having a conversation!  It’s not going to be a problem, because he plans on raising Faith on his own.  “That is NOT fair to Faith.  Or to me.” 

 

She tells him once he’s feeling better and less wounded, he will see.  They’ve been through so many horrible things, and they always find their way back, eventually.  NO, SHARON, NO!  He’s trying to steal your kid!  “Talking isn’t going to fix anything,” growls Nick.  “Sharon, you DESTROYED our family.  You destroyed our relationship.  It’s over, it’s done!  Get used to it.”

 

Joe says he’s there to see Michael, but he’s sorry about last time.  She doesn’t believe that since he ran straight from there to the coffee house to irritate Dylan.  He WENT there to smooth things over with her boyfriend, and make sure he didn’t get clocked again for doing his job.  “Meaning your quest to build some generic monstrosity.”  As if Avery wouldn’t shop til she dropped there.  He says it’s actually quite attractive architecture and gaining a lot of interest.  “Did you tell these interested parties that you plan on destroying important structures and shutting down independent businesses?  Because the people of GC respect loyalty.”  And since when did loyalty become such a priority for her? he says.  She scoffs at him making things personal again.  He apologizes.  #sorrynotsorry 

 

But clearly there’s still something between them, says Joe.  That kiss didn’t come out of nowhere.  She says that kiss almost ended with a knee in the groin and a call to the cops.  That was personal battery, and she’s not flattered.  Look, he kissed her because…never mind, that why doesn’t matter anymore.  He turns to go..and Dylan’s standing there!  Oh noes!  “You kissed Joe?”

 

Michael wants to go home and feed Lauren tomatoes. 

 

Mariah filled in Kevin on the Summer DNA debacle.  He thinks it affects her too.  She says everyone’s hurting and she can’t help anyone.  Kevin thinks she’s helping just by existing and sticking around.  “In the grand scheme of things, this isn’t getting kidnapped by a pervy cult leader, so it barely even registers!” she jokes  They laugh.

 

They chit chat about some new fantasy series she’s trying to get him to read by Plato Sphere.  He’s very meh about it, but she begs him to at least read five pages and if he doesn’t love it, she’ll buy him a cup of coffee.

 

Avery tells Dylan she did NOT kiss Joe.  HE kissed her.  Dylan missed the part about him almost getting a knee to the groin.  Uh, why didn’t she tell him?  Because it happened to her, not him.  Uh, he should know.  She didn’t tell him he was in town either.  BECAUSE Dylan was in jail doing a sting.  Dylan’s like, you tell me when your car gets dinged.  You tell me when you see a jerk at the supermarket.  Why wouldn’t you tell me about Joe kissing you?  She didn’t want to upset him!  WHY?  Because she thinks he’ll flip out on him??  Um, yeah, you just punched him the face.  Well, he’s not going to do THAT again.  He swears!  She gets a call.  He tells her to take it, he’s out of there.  Dylan?!

 

Sharon says she believed everything Nick said, that she was his home, that they could get past anything.   Nick glares.  “I didn’t know you then.”  Well, that’s just ridiculous.  Sharon thinks so, too.  He knows everything about her!  She’s the same woman he was in love with two days ago!  No, she made him think that, and maybe even believed it, but they both know better now.  She doesn’t believe love like that goes away.  It did, he swears, the second he found out.  Every time he thinks about what she did this hole in his heart gets bigger and darker.  Just being around her makes him sick.  She says it’s intense emotion…if he didn’t feel something…

 

Nick is like, is that what you think?  The reason Nick hates me so much is because he loves me??  That’s sick.  It’s delusional to believe all his promises of love!!  It’s another reason he doesn’t want Faith anywhere near her.  It’s why HE doesn’t want to be around her right now!  He pushes her off and storms away.  I’ll give him this.  I hate Nick a lot and it’s definitely not because I really love him.

 

Michael and Lauren fill more time.  She worries when he doesn’t seduce her and she worries when he does.  I just had to FF it.  I’m growing old over here.

 

Mariah and Kevin have cute banter, and she has to go, but please read that book so they can talk about it!  She can’t wait for Plato’s next chapter!  He mocks, she leaves, and he turns to his computer.  Well, whaddayaknow?  Kevin is Plato Sphere.  And Mariah is his biggest fan.

 

Sharon’s not playing anymore, so she calls David Sherman to fight the Newmans.  Fight, Sharon, fight!

 

Nick pouts in his bar and starts drinking liquor.  Someone walks in.  He grouches that the bar is closed, but seems surprised at the visitor.  “What are you doing  here?”  It must be Grace swooping in like a sex vulture.

 

Avery sits at her desk and looks at Joe’s prospectus or maybe just the picture of Joe.  She throws it away, then thinks better of it. 

 

Dylan stops Joe in the lobby of the club.  He’s rubbing his fists like he tends to do. “You look a little fired up, there, McAvoy.”  Dylan says don’t be scared, he’s not going to punch him.  “Fear’s not the emotion that comes to mind.”  Dylan knows Joe’s business is personal, and he wants Joe to know it’s personal for HIM now, too!  Joe hilariously smirks at him, like good for you, and walks away

[glowlights]

How is that everyone is wondering about Thanksgiving dinner at this late date? Do the Newmans not fight about this all the way back in August like every other family?

 

It is delightful that Lauren thinks she has actual fans and admirers who stop her during her day, as opposed to rationally concluding that the person who stops you to introduce himself tends to be, you know, the person you're there to meet. Even better that she pretends to know what a prospectus is when the former prime minister of Canada clearly gave her two measly pages that he printed off at Kinko's. (Can she please go the way of Nina and Danny, just show up for special occasions?)

[Foghorn Leghorn]

Thank God for Peach snark and I also thank God for Joe...swoon...... 

 

A terrible thought crossed my mind when they had Lauren and Joe in a scene together today.....one looks so vibrant and real and the other so pasty and fake and again another face that doesn't move!  

Edited November 20, 2014 by Foghorn Leghorn

[Slowpokey]

Thank God for Peach snark and I also thank God for Joe...swoon...... 

 

A terrible thought crossed my mind when they had Lauren and Joe in a scene together today.....one looks so vibrant and real and the other so pasty and fake and again with a face that doesn't move!  

Please don't put Joe with Lauren!!!!!

[Snaporaz]

 

Michael talks about his treatment protocol.  Blah blah blah.  Michael wants to just eat tomatoes.

If I hadn't seen it for myself, I would have thought you made this up! 

Remember when these shows actually used to hire medical consultants?  Now, I think they just skim Wikipedia.

[NinjaPenguins]

Peach, you've done something that the writers of this show hasn't managed to do for a long time; I actually look forward to watching this crap so that I can fully savor these delightful posts.

 

 

They have to figure out how to get rid of Sharon without Faith getting caught in the middle.  Avery promises to take away her mother as painlessly as possible.

I am honestly surprised that Victor isn't busy hiring a hitman. Not even joking here.

 

 

It must be Grace swooping in like a sex vulture.

Dead.

[glowlights]

I am honestly surprised that Victor isn't busy hiring a hitman. Not even joking here.

 

 

I'm honestly surprised he had the nerve to tell Nikki all their troubles are behind them when this whole mess with Sharon means a nasty custody battle for the fate of his granddaughter. Is he as drunk as Nikki?