Explain it to Me Like I'm Lily: Recaps for the Disenchanted

[PatsyandEddie]

^^^^^^No, he is just an entitled ,overbearing ,arrogant ,self-serving egomaniac for starters. Then he proceeds to pour his own as champagne in front of his alcoholic wife who needed a bib because she was jonesing so hard for a real drink instead of the sparkling cider he gave her. 

Edited November 20, 2014 by PatsyandEddie

[peach]

Personally, I really enjoyed Lauren's scene with Joe.  I thought she played it hilariously, with the flustered laughing.  I don't think they're going to hook those two up, but you never know.  I, of course, root for Joe to be with Sharon, but the writers hate Sharon's fans, so I doubt that will happen.

Edited November 20, 2014 by peach

[peacheslatour]

Personally, I really enjoyed Lauren's scene with Joe.  I thought she played it hilariously, with the flustered laughing.  I don't think they're going to hook those two up, but you never know.  I, of course, root for Joe to be with Sharon, but the writers hate Sharon's fans, so I doubt that will happen.

I hope they're just chem testing him with all the ladies.  They can't get to him with Sharon soon enough for me.  After seeing how he easily wipes the floor (metaphorically speaking) with Dullyn, he would make mince meat of Captain Caveman.

[peach]

Thur, Nov 20      YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE!

 

Nick’s pounding down whiskey at The Underground, which is closed, when someone comes in.  Ha!  It IS Grace the sex vulture.  She’d say her breasts were just in the neighborhood, but the truth is, she’s there for him.

 

Hilary meets Lily at the club.  Lily was afraid she might stand her up after telling everyone she was pregnant at their last lunch.  She just wants everyone in her family to be happy.  So she wants to talk to her about Devon.

 

Devon meets Colin at the bar with a briefcase.   Devon says it’s his and everything in it.  Colin asks if he needs to count it.  “Do you really think I’d short you with what’s at stake?”  Colin says it was a pleasure doing business with him.  Devon refuses to shake his hand.  He says they are DONE now, and Colin better leave them alone.  He will.  But he warns Devon that he and Hilary are playing a very dangerous game, if dangerous means boring.

 

Billy’s at home, but he’s leaving Chelsea a message.  He’s sorry he missed her, but he just came home to change and get back to Victoria at the hospital.  Jill shows up.  She hears he’s been a very busy boy the past 24 hours.  Oh, so she heard about the baby.  Yes, but NOT from her own son!  Oops.  He doesn’t have time to talk to her now, either.  She says his momma has something to say and he needs to hear it.  “Not another warning about everything I’m doing wrong in my life.”  Actually it’s what he’s NOT doing that has her worried.  Billy sighs.

 

Stitch sits with his mom in the hospital.  She finally wakes up.  He explains she had surgery.  Kelly is resting somewhere.   Maureen’s groggy and then it hits her.  Omg, Victoria!  He’s gotta get her!!!  Stitch calms her down and says they found her.  And if they hadn’t, they could have lost her and her beautiful baby.

 

Vicky holds her baby, and Nikki and Victor come to visit.  She doesn’t have a name yet, says Vicky.  Or a last name.  “Well, she’s a Newman, that’s all that counts,” says Victor.   They make over the cute little baby.  Vicky introduces her to Grandpa Victor, the master of the universe.  He coos about how they’re going to go horseback riding and she’ll go to the Harvard School of Business and take over the family reserve.  Blah blah.  Love and kisses.  

 

Nikki hates to harp on this, but her experience with Dylan means it’s very important for the father to be involved from the beginning.  Victor suggests she put water in the vase of flowers to get rid of her.  He tells Vicky her mother thinks with her heart, but he wants Victoria to think with her head.

 

Jill says no matter who Billy’s future lies with, and she SERIOUSLY doubts it’s Chelsea, he can’t just sit back and see how things shake out with the baby.  He has to find out if it’s his!  And she would like to know if she has a new grandchild to spoil.   He’s dying for the answer himself, but after what Vicky’s been through, he didn’t want to press her.  Jill says mother and baby are doing fine, so he doesn’t need to hold back.  Victoria owes him the truth, so go get it.

 

Maureen’s like…the baby..  “Yeah, she gave birth,” says Stitch.  “Right there outside the dirty closet you left her in.”  He and Billy had to deliver the baby right there in the parking garage.  Maureen’s freaking out.  “Are they okay?!”  Pretty much.  She smiles and asks if it’s a girl.  “Don’t do that!  Don’t look so happy!  You have no right!” says Stitch.  How could she lock up a pregnant woman?? 

 

Mo has her hands on her head.  “I don’t know!  Victoria was going to call the police!”  “So you threw her in a janitor’s closet?” yells Stitch.  She was out of her mind!  And then she was in so much pain.  He tells her to calm down.  Mo says she didn’t mean to hurt her!  She just wanted some time to figure out what to do next.  He leaves to check on Vicky.  Mo’s upset about what she did.
Nikki comes in.  She just heard what happened, she’s so glad Mo’s alright!  Maureen looks at her.  “I bet you are.”

 

Grace and her boobs say Nick’s glass looks so lonely.  It would feel a lot better if it had a companion.  Nick smirks but pours her a glass.  He asks what she’s doing there.  She went to Sharon’s to meet Cassie’s twin, and found out what happened.  It was quite a shock.  The last time she saw him he was so happy and ready to make her his wife again.  “Yeah, well, that’s not gonna happen now.”  Grace says he must be devastated, that’s why she came by.  She really cares about him, you guys, but if he prefers, she could leave right now.  “Is that what you want?”

 

Hilary asks what about Devon?  Lily invites Devon for the conversation.  She says she’s canceling the family dinner to meet his special, little girlfriend.  She thinks it’s too much, too soon.   Devon’s glad.  Instead, Lily wants to make it a casual lunch.  Devon and Hilary actually laugh.  Lily can’t cancel it altogether, Dad’s really looking forward to it, she doesn’t want to disappoint  him.  Blah blah.  She asks if he wants to invite his new BFF, Colin.  She saw them talking, so what was that about?

 

Bad Guy meets Colin in the club lobby.  He doesn’t like meeting in public.  Well, Colin says they’re done after this, here’s every penny of his money.  He hands him the briefcase.  Bad Guy’s like, wait, we have a new laundry business, remember?  Funneling cash through his wife’s boutique?  Well, this cancels that out.  Afraid not, says the Bad Guy.  His wife’s life depends on him sticking to their arrangement.  Colin frowns.  Jill’s right outside the door. She spots them and takes a photo with her phone.

 

Nikki doesn’t understand Maureen’s attitude.  “It all started when you spied on my private conversation with Ben.”  Nikki’s like, spied?!  She was in the other room!  It’s not her fault if Ben talked loud enough for her to hear he didn’t kill his father!  Oh, but she just had to tell Victoria!  “Because she was about to walk away from him!  And I told her that had to be a better explanation.  That’s ALL I said!” 

 

Maureen gasps in bed and says it was certainly enough to send Victoria to interrogate her, and she couldn’t take it anymore!  Nikki is so sorry it got to that point, but it didn’t have to.  She could have vindicated Ben years ago, but she didn’t.  What kind of mother does that?  “That’s MY business,” gasps Maureen.  “You just had to make it YOURS.”   Nikki just threw her under the bus even though she was keeping her dirty, little secret.  But not anymore!  That’s her little story to tell.  And maybe she’ll start with Victor.  Nikki looks scared.

 

Victor tells Victoria that she’s more than capable of raising that baby without either of those two men.  She knows that, but does she want to?  “Sweetheart, before you make your decision, think of what those two guys have done.  Think of their record.”  Or, you could think of the law, because they can make you tell them.  The nurse comes in to take the baby to the nursery. 

 

“If you decide to raise this beautiful child on your own, you’ll get all the help you need,” says Victor.  Billy comes walking in.  “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?  The Gospel according to Victor Newman.  The Immaculate Conception, no father required.”  Not from the likes of you, Billyboy.  Victoria wants to speak to Billy alone.  Fine.

 

He comes out in the hallway and sees Stitch, who mildly asks if he was visiting his grandchild.  “What is it to you?” snaps Victor.  “You mean, besides the fact that I delivered her?”  Victor wants to know what he was doing in that parking lot when his daughter went into labor.  Stitch is like, so, she didn’t tell you?  No, so why don’t you?  Stitch looks nervous.  Where do you even start?

 

Grace asks Nick what it’s going to be?   Would he like a very friendly shoulder and ample cleavage to lean on, or would he like to rely on himself for unsatisfying comfort.  Nick asks what Sharon told her about the split.  Not much, just that she hurt him badly.  So who was he?  Nick says if only it were another guy, that he could probably forgive.  Snort! 

 

GRACE asks NICK what could be worse than infidelity?  She changed DNA records, made him think Summer was Jack’s daughter.  Ah, so no baggage, clear the path to him, without PHYLLIS’ daughter in the way.   She figured that out fast.  Is that the worst of it?  “Well, you could throw in Sharon PUSHING Phyllis down a flight of stairs, purposely or not, take your pick.”  Well, no, you can only PUSH someone ON PURPOSE, you lying sack of shit.  Grace almost spits out her drink.  “She put Phyllis in a coma, unable to reveal the truth about the paternity test.” 

 

Grace thinks that is CRAZY, even for Sharon.  Then again, she IS bipolar!  Nick says that’s no excuse.  He understands the mood swings and manic state, but this was a calculated, deliberate decision, made on the advice of Cassie’s ghost, and she kept it from him.  She KEPT IT FROM HIM.  Waaaah!!!  Cassie’s ghost didn’t have to tell Nick to lie about the paternity test.   Grace is so sorry.  Is he sure it’s over?  Yep.  Oh, well, then let’s screw.  So they do.  On the bar, and it’s disgusting, and I hate this show EVEN MORE.

 

Colin says he is DONE with this.  So take the money and leave his wife alone.  “Or what?” says Bad Guy.  Colin might have had a network Down Under, but he has NO resources here.  His threats are idle, but theirs aren’t.  So shut up and do what he’s told.  Unless he wants the Mrs. to have an unfortunate accident.  Jill comes breezing in.  Did Colin really think he could get away with this?  Colin says it’s not what it seems.  Oh, darlin’, it’s exactly what it seems.  And she’s not the only one who thinks so.  Detective Harding comes in behind her.  She asks him to make an arrest.  Hmm, maybe Colin might not mind Jill having an unfortunate accident.

 

Billy thanks Victoria standing up to her dad just now.  Wait, when did that happen?  She says it’s the least she could do.  The very, very least, apparently.  They giggle and act gross.   The baby’s in the nursery, but Vicky hates being away from her even for a minute.  Billy knows the feeling.  They stare.

 

The show ripped us off again, and had Stitch admit what happened off screen.  Victor says what he’s telling him is outrageous!  “Your mother would have killed my daughter and granddaughter.”  Stitch says she couldn’t handle the truth coming out, but it had to.  “Your mother’s going to pay for her crimes.  You know that, don’t you?”  Stitch looks away.  He says she’s recovering down the hallway, and if he’s going to confront her, she can’t take much.  “I don’t giveadamn.  She’s the killer, not me.”  Hahaha! 

 

Stitch looks miserable.  Victor comes back and says, “You know something?  I’ve always had great admiration for you, Stitch.  And I admire a man who sacrifices everything for someone he loves.  Even though that person doesn’t deserve it.”  And he just sacrificed his mom for someone else who doesn’t deserve it.

 

Nikki tells Maureen, go ahead.  "Tell the whole world I’ve been drinking, doesn’t make any difference to me."  Maureen mumbles that it sure made a difference a couple days ago.  Oh, well, Nikki has it under control now.  Maureen laughs and says that’s what they all say.  Nikki’s like who would believe YOU?  A woman who’s lived her life with LIES and forced her son to suffer for a crime she committed?  That’s not much credibility.  Nikki guarantees that SHE will come out on top.  “I always do,” she sneers.  Where the hell did THIS Nikki come from?

 

Victor barges in.  He doesn’t know if Nikki should stay.   There are a few things he has to say to thiswoman that are not fit for a lady’s ears.   “And I might have a little story for you, too,” says feisty Maureen, tubes and all.

 

Devon says Colin was talking to him about an investment.  Well, Lily doesn’t trust him.  She has to make some calls.  Hilary asks what Devon really happened.  He paid him off, so their secret’s safe.  For now, says Hilary.  What about Lily’s lunch?  Devon says he has no choice, he’ll have to invite his girlfriend.

 

Harding is arresting Bad Guy!  Jill sent him his picture, and it turns out he’s wanted in Madison for racketeering and assault with a deadly weapon.  Maybe he should cry like Phyllis, and Harding will let him go.  Not Harding, though, he LOVES arresting people.  Bad Guy says he’s got the wrong guy!  Colin is the criminal, and he can prove it!  Why, because he as a briefcase full of payola for YOU? 

 

Nick pulls away from Grace.  He says this is wrong.   They have to stop.  Grace says she doesn’t throw herself at just any guy.  She’s very selective about who she’s willing to make a fool of herself for.    He’s like, hey, she’s not a fool.  She’s very sexy, and he’ll probably be kicking himself later…but she should go.

 

Maureen says she was doing Nikki a favor by keeping this quiet, but…  “I don’t need to know adamnthing from you!”  Has she told Nikki what she did to Victoria and the baby?  He didn’t think so.  Maureen starts gasping.  She mumbles that he has to go.  She’s reaching for her call button.  “Listen to me, I’m not going to go anywhere!  I’M GONNA BE DOGGING YOU!  LIKE A SHADOW! YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE!”  Maureen is struggling and pushing her call button.  Memorial definitely hasn’t added any staff since Dylan got his liver chopped.

 

“She locked Victoria in a closet!   Locked her in a closet because she didn’t want her to go to the police about her husband’s death!  SHE killed him!”  Nikki’s like, OMG, it makes total sense now!  They both yell at the lady who’s probably dying in front of them.  “Listen to me!  This is on YOU!” says Victor.  He will use every legal resource.  Even if she gets away with killing her husband, she will NOT get away with what she did to Victoria.  Nikki’s like let’s blow this place and go see Victoria.  “I’LL BE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE!” shouts Victor from the door.  Medical help never comes.

 

Colin acts like he’s never met Bad Guy.   Jill says that’s very true.  Colin was just there on business and this man came up and tried to draw him into his illegal schemes.  So…she took a picture of him?  “You better watch what you say, woman!” spits Bad Guy.  Colin’s like, are you THREATENING my wife?  Harding would LOVE to add intimidation to the charges.  Thanks, guys!  He hauls Bad Guy away.  

 

Colin says Jill is such an amazing woman.  “Thank you for saving my tush!”  She says he never learns!  And she’s going to have HIM thrown into jail unless he tells her exactly what is going on.  He sighs. 

 

Nick and Grace get dressed.  He says he let it get too far.  Grace says he was hurting and just wanted it to stop for a little while.  He says he picked the worst possible way to do that, um, no offense.  It’s just that he was doing exactly what his dad says he always does, jump right into relationships without thinking them through.  Wow, that Victor, he’s just right about everything!   Nick doesn’t listen even when everyone around him his saying that woman is wrong for you.  Including that woman.  

 

Grace says that’s for HIM to decide.  Yeah, but he’s always too far gone at that point.  Phyllis, then Avery, and Sharon AGAIN.  And now her.  She’s like I’m flattered, but that was just bar sex.  He says it all starts somewhere.  She says couldn’t he have just waited for this revelation until AFTER they had great sex?   He kisses her.  It was great to see her again, but he’s breaking the pattern.  She says that’s going to be hard to do when all the women in his life aren’t going anywhere.  “Maybe I’M the one who needs to go.”  Straight to hell. 

 

Victor gets home and says he did not trust that woman the moment he laid eyes on her.   He should have told Nikki and everyone else to stay away from her.  Nikki’s just glad Stitch and Billy realized what was going on so they could save Victoria.   Now they have something to celebrate.  So he had Bonnie bring them champagne and sparkling cider.  I guess he couldn’t just drink cider WITH her instead of waving his champagne right under her nose. 

 

She asks how he found out about Maureen.  Stitch told him what he had to endure because of his mother, but fortunately he found out that Stitch is not a murderer.  In fact, he is quite the hero.  Nikki says Billy was a hero, too, the way he rescued Victoria and the baby.  Has that changed Victor’s opinion of him?  Nikki, be serious.

 

Billy’s so grateful Vicky and the baby are alright. “But?” asks Vicky.   Blah blah amazing baby blah.   “But I need to know, Vick.”  Stitch walks in.  He needs to know, too.  “She’s not an idea anymore.  She’s here, she’s real.  Every second that goes by is one second we lose with her.  We’ve already lost enough already, don’t you think?”  Victoria stares.  The nurse comes and says she gave orders for her to rest and expects them to be carried out.  This is a crappy mother-baby unit, because usually at least one of the fathers gets to stay.   They leave.  The nurse says two such handsome guys.  Who’s the daddy?  Victoria doesn’t know what to say.

 

Lily returns and says they will confirm dates for the family lunch after Thanksgiving.  She tells Devon when Katherine left him that money, he just changed.  He seemed…lost.  Until this woman came into his life.  She guesses it shows money can’t buy happiness.  It can buy you your own hotel to have an affair in, though.  Lily just wants to welcome this girl into the family, like she’s welcomed Hilary.  Hilary says she appreciates it.  See, Devon, your girlfriend will appreciate it, too.

 

Cane says he’ll tell Jill everything.  He admits there’s two million dollars in the briefcase.  Bad Guy found out JILL’S fake necklace was a dud, so he forced himself into a silent partner at the boutique to launder dirty money.   Jill is like I HOPE you didn’t do that!  Of course not.  So he was going to pay him off.  So where in blazes did he get two million dollars?  He did NOT dip into boutique money.  He says it was just one of his less-inspired investments that  just happened to turn a profit.  So now they can go party on Devon’s money.

 

Victor says, “You’re asking me if changed my mind about Billyboy Abbott??  He’s the same screw-up he’s always been!”  What if he turns out to be the baby’s father?   Victor sighs.  Oy.  He hopes Victoria has enough sense to keep him out of her life.  More champagne!  This is a happy day!  A new grandbaby!  Cheers to a long, happy life kept away from your biological parent.  It's a family tradition!

 

Billy looks at Vicky and the baby through the window and thinks to himself that she’s one lucky baby.  He just hopes he gets to be her daddy.

 

Stitch has Maureen’s chart and goes in to check her vitals!  She’s GONE!  LOL!  She’s tougher than Phyllis!  Don’t mess with Chesterfield!  YO!

 

Nick comes to see the baby.  Victoria got her miracle baby.  Vicky says it goes to show you never give up.  They bond over the usual questionable parentage problem.  Nick says the best thing she can do is lock down this paternity.  Keeping people in the dark just puts them through hell.  Oh, well, if Nick says so.  She wants the DNA test done ASAP.

 

Tomorrow:  Summer dyes her hair brown.

[peacheslatour]

 

Tomorrow:  Summer dyes her hair brown.

I saw that. W.T.F.

My husband walked by during the Billy/Stitch show down with Victoria and goes "So they don't know which one is the father?  I guess she just wanted to string them both along"  Very astute man, my husband.

[Petunia13]

Summer thinks it'll make her smarter maybe? JK

[Foghorn Leghorn]

 

Personally, I really enjoyed Lauren's scene with Joe.  I thought she played it hilariously, with the flustered laughing.

 

I think she really was flustered staring up at the gorgeous hunk and was not acting!!  LOL  swoon....

[movinon]

 

It was great to see her again, but he’s breaking the pattern.  She says that’s going to be hard to do when all the women in his life aren’t going anywhere.  “Maybe I’M the one who needs to go.”  Straight to hell.

Nice destination for him, Peach.  I understand he is having a soul searching "Come to Jesus" meeting with himself Monday.  I can hardly wait to see if he likes himself as much as we like him - not.

Edited November 22, 2014 by movinon

[crosby777]

 

Personally, I really enjoyed Lauren's scene with Joe.  I thought she played it hilariously, with the flustered laughing.

Oh not me. I thought she came across as totally pathetic. Lauren knows how to flirt better than that.. Since when was she a blushing bride wannabe..

[Joimiaroxeu]

I thought she came across as totally pathetic. Lauren knows how to flirt better than that.. Since when was she a blushing bride wannabe..

I thought the same. It reminded me of when sexagenarian Susan Lucci still trying to do her coy coquette routine on AMC. Not a good look.

[AxellaJ]

Vicky starts to kind of faint or something and her monitor beeps.  Stitch tells Billy to go get a doctor!!

 

This part was funny. She starts to wilt, goes all limp and neither of those two clowns thought to remove the baby before it ended up falling out of bed.

And what was with those Gestapo nurses giving orders? I'm assuming Vicki's bottle-feeding, or why would they be wheeling the baby away so often?

 

[peach]

Fri, Nov 21     It’s  A Tie

 

Victor is so excited that Nicholas is the first guest to Summer’s Newmanity* party.   But Nick’s not there for the party.  He’s there to say goodbye.  Like a drama queen.

 

Phyllis greets Summer and Austin at the Abbott manse.  She’s so glad they made it!  Summer has inexplicably dyed her hair a familiar shade of reddish brown, so I think she might be Single White Femaling Mariah now.  Phyllis says the others will be here soon.  Jack’s like, others??  Who else is coming?  Phyllis thought it would be a GREAT idea to announce their engagement to friends and family tonight!  NO, PHYLLIS, that is NOT a good idea, says Jack sternly.  Very sternly, in fact.

 

Kelly’s at the club, looking pretty discouraged.  She looks at a photo of her and Jack.

 

Meanwhile, back at the castle, the wind blows through the Wisconsin moors, and clouds scud across the moon.   Adam sits inside and reads his obituary.  He perished in a Catastrophic  Motor Vehicle Accident.  I’ll say.  Did you know he was second in his class at the Harvard Business School?  

 

He hobbles over to his dumbbells and struggles desperately to lift them, ugh, oogh, but he CAN’T DO IT!  Even though his guns look in pretty good shape to me.   I guess it’s back to squeezing the stress ball.  Sage comes rushing in.  He needs to take it slow!!  “I can’t take it slow,” he gasps.  “I need to leave!”  Constance comes wheeling in.  “Leave?  What are you talking about?”   I want to hear Sally Kellerman say, “Release the hounds!”

 

Chelsea comes bounding down the stairs of the penthouse in a cool, hi-low plaid dress.  Her hair's in a high ponytail.  Billy comes creeping in.  She’s happy to see him and glad Victoria and the baby are doing well.  He’s glad she’s glad.  Everyone’s glad.  He seems kind of sheepish, but Chelsea is super supportive.  He tells her he helped deliver the baby, but before he can explain, Ashley shows up at the door.  Yes, she IS interrupting.  Well, can she come back later?  No, and she’s not leaving until he hears what she has to say.  She walks right in, like everyone seems to do at Chelsea’s place.

 

Chelsea excuses herself to check on JOHNNY.  So she’s been watching Johnny during all this, while Anita keeps Connor.  Um, okay?  Billy asks Ashley what couldn’t wait for a more convenient time.  Victoria had her baby.  Yeah, Billy knows that.  He apologizes for not calling her yet, but it’s been hectic , and he and Stitch still don’t know who’s going to be handing out cigars.   Ashley just really wants to know how he’s doing.  He hesitates, but says he’s fine.  She  could tell from the second he opened that door that he was anything but fine.”  Maybe he just needs a nap and for everyone to get out of his face.

 

Kelly sighs at the club.  She accidentally runs into Lily.  Sorry, she doesn’t know where her head is today!  Lily totally understands she’s thinking about her mom!  Who?  Oh, yeah, her mom.  The bypass surgery went well, but she has to get a lot of rest.  Wherever she is.  Lily can’t believe Kelly’s even there tonight.  Work can wait, and where is Jack?  Why isn’t he here helping  her?!  Kelly looks sad.

 

Summer’s like, wait, you guys are engaged. For realz?  Phyllis says it’s official!  Jack’s just rubbing his forehead.  Summer squeals that it’s the most awesome ever!!  Abby and Traci arrive, and Summer blurts out that Mom and Jack are getting married!  More squealing!  But Jack is having a cow.  “Everybody just calm down!” he shouts.  “This whole announcement is PREMATURE!”  Everyone stares.  “Why?” asks Phyllis.  Jack flaps his gums.

 

Victor asks Nick why he would come there tonight of all nights, and talk as if he’s leaving.  “Because I AM leaving,” states Nick.   He’s going out of town for a couple days, he needs some time to himself, so I guess DELUSIONAL Sharon can watch Faith.  Noah walks in and asks if this is why he has to look after The Underground?   Yeah, dude, he appreciates you working more than one day this month.  

 

Victor says he can’t leave!  He has a court date!  The courts are open 24/7 for the Newmans.  Nick didn’t come here for his advice.  “Well, obviously, you need it!”  NO.  He DOESN’T.  The only person with a need is Victor, to control everyone’s lives as, usual.  Nick knows this party is just about Victor celebrating Sharon getting kicked to the curb.  He just came to say he’s going out of town for a couple days, he doesn’t have an agenda!  

 

“You think I have an agenda?  By inviting the whole family here to celebrate that Summer is your daughter and part of our family now?”  Nick thinks it’s just another chance for him to twist the knife and prove that once again, he was right about Sharon.  “And I was right, wasn’t I?”  Yes, he was.  And he was also right about Nick.  Well, now he’s going to miss the whole Sharon piñata part.

 

Billy’s family loves to go around telling him how anxious he is about the baby’s paternity.  He says realistically, the only thing that’ll change will be picking up two kids instead of one for visitation.  Ashley continues to pressure him about how much he loves Victoria.  “If this is going to be one of those You Belong Together pep talks, I have already seen this movie 15 times with other people, and I’m all out of popcorn.  Just sayin’.”   Ashley says You Belong Together anyway. 

 

He tells her THIS is his home, and it smells like Chelsea’s perfume, just like when he gets in THEIR new bed together.  Ashley continues her weird, codependent speech about how he’s kidding himself if he thinks he can find happiness with anyone but Victoria.  Billy says she is quoting the script, verbatim, which is the only reason anyone would be saying this stuff.  Ash thinks if everyone in his life is pressuring him to do the same emotionally unhealthy thing, he should LISTEN instead of being so glib.  ASHLEY knows how you feel, Billy, you DON’T.

 

She came there to bring him to whatever surprise party it is they’re having at Jack’s, but she thinks it’s pointless, because he’ll just be sitting next to someone who isn’t Victoria and wishing she was.   Seems like Billy likes sitting next to Chelsea to me.   Ashley thinks if the baby is his, he’s not going to love the woman who divorced him any less, and he’ll wake up smelling Chelsea’s perfume, and kicking himself.   She hugs him and leaves, because I guess she won’t take Not Victoria to the party.  Not Victoria’s been listening at the top of the stairs with tears in her eyes.

 

Kelly tells Lily she was busy with her mom waking up, and she and Jack didn’t have a chance to talk.  Well, why didn’t he wait for her, presses Lily.  He was, um, preoccupied.  But he did tell Phyllis they’ve been dating. Lily’s like, dating, really?  That’s what he calls living together?   Kelly says to be fair, this isn’t easy for Jack.  And now it’s more awkward because Victoria had the baby, and Stitch and Billy both hope it’s their baby.   Lily wonders if there’s another reason Jack’s distracted, and you can see Kelly straining to hold back the freakout in her eyes.

 

Jack just thinks he and Phyllis should delay the announcement.  They haven’t had time to enjoy it themselves, to revel in their engagement.   He wants to enjoy his fiancée before [Kelly] the rest of the world horns in on it and possibly loses their mind.  Yeah, great, Jack, but Phyllis is on a roll!  Killer champagne and hors d’oeuvres for all!  Yeesh, don’t kill them, but Summer and Abby can’t stay.  Victor invited them to dinner. 

 

Phyllis is annoyed. Why are they upstaged by him??  Well, Summer says it’s a Newman Family thing, she wouldn’t understand.   Abby explains that they have to rally around the hero, Nick, since Sharon blew up his life.  Jack gets it, of course Summer wants to rally around her Dad.  HE’S her dad.  Phyllis thinks they should just go there for dessert, Victor won’t mind.  “Are we talking about the same Victor Newman?” asks Abby.

 

Phyllis continues complaining about the very situation she made happen.  “You all are my family, too, and we have something wonderful to celebrate tonight.  Plus I have enough food to feed an army!”  Summer whines for mommy not to do this. Don’t pull a guilt trip and make her choose between families.  Jack explains how already having plans works.   There will be plenty of time to celebrate later. 

 

Phyllis finally agrees, and besides, she asked Jack to have a splashy party to mark the occasion!  Abby wants to help!  Splashy is her specialty!  Jack is back to rubbing his forehead again.  The ladies keep talking, but Summer comes over and thanks Jack for calling Kyle and letting him know he wasn’t hot for his sister after all.  Jack hugs her, and Austin looks bummed out in the background. 

 

Nick tells Noah that Grandpa was right.  He should stop thinking about others’ actions and focus on his own choices.  Because if heroic Nick would just choose the right woman, everything would be dandy.   He’s let his anger over what Sharon did control him, so he has to get away to think.  Especially since it concerns Faith, and thinking is hard. 

 

Victor supports him going for full custody 100%.  Noah’s like, wait, WHAT?  What Victor doesn’t understand is that he’d leave that beautiful girl with the likes of Sharon.   Nick says he shares custody with Sharon, so he can’t be seen taking Faith from her mother.  He doesn’t like it, but he has to deal with it for now.  In the meantime, he’ll strengthen her case by leaving town since FAITH IS PERFECTLY SAFE WITH SHARON, and he knows it. 

 

He says Faith is furious with him right now anyway, for not marrying her mom.   So she could use some space, too, right now.  “So you’re running away,” says Victor.  Nick is NOT running away, he shouts.  He just wants to get away from PEOPLE.  Noah reminds Nick that none of this would have happened if he’d just redone the paternity test when Summer was born.  Nick glares at him for that little truth bomb.

 

Adam tells Constance that he just wants to get out of this room and see some daylight.  He hasn’t been out of this house in months, except for when he visited Delia’s memorial.  Sage has explained to Gabriel  that he’s just not strong enough to go outside.  Hey, maybe Constance could let him borrow that wheelchair.  Constance says he shouldn’t be pushing himself so hard.  He promises he’s up for it.  Sage says for safety’s sake she’ll give him a painkiller and help him to bed .  “Get some rest,” says Warden Constance.  Sage wheels her out.

 

She comes back in and Adam says NO MORE painkillers!  No more sedatives, no trying to jab him with anything!  Sage says it’s for his own good!  He needs to REST!  Adam wants to rest about as much as Phyllis and Sharon do.  “Your defenses are down!” shouts Sage.  He nearly gave himself away to Constance a few times!  Adam apologizes for Spinachgate, but says he covered it pretty well.  That time, maybe, but she can only cover for him so much.  “And we all know you’re only looking out for my best interests, huh?”

 

Chelsea comes down and says please don’t feel like he needs to lie to her about Ashley’s visit.  She heard what she said.  Billy says Ashley was out of line.  Chelsea understands he still cares about Victoria.  They’ve discussed his struggles to have a baby, and actually being there for the birth must have been  huge for him.  She’s sure it brought back how he felt for her before it all went wrong.   “You’re right.  It did.”  Understanding Chelsea’s like…shit.

 

FINE!  Nick made a horrible mistake.  He should have insisted on another paternity test, but he didn’t do that, he shrugs.  “I let my fear get the best of me, and I lied.  And I am truly sorry for that.”  Huh, kinda like…Sharon?  Nick says it’s just another reason why he needs to get away and figure out how to make better decisions.  He hopes someday Noah will be able to forgive him.  Victor’s like, ugh!  “Nicholas, there is nothing to forgive, all right?  It is Sharon’s addled, screwed up brain that caused this entire mess.”   I guess Sharon made him lie about the paternity test when he was cheating on her all those years ago.  Noah protests Grandpa insulting his mother.

 

Nick doesn’t want to do this!  He just came to say goodbye.  Victor has people coming over, and Nick just needs to leave before it’s too late.  Noah will hold down the fort at the club, and Victor will keep an eye on his girls.  Which could mean anything, so maybe he should have asked his mom.  Before he can get out the door, Abby, Summer, and Austin walk in.  

 

Sorry, Nick’s leaving.  Abby’s like this party is for YOU.   They had to piss off Phyllis to even be there.  Whatever, he’s gotta get out of town for a few days, so they have to party without him.   “Bummer,” says Keanu Travers.  Wah, Summer wanted to spend time with him.  They can do it later.  They pinky promise, and Nick leaves.

 

Phyllis discusses party ideas with Traci, who offers to show her the English roses in the conservatory.  Jack rubs his head again.  Interfering Ashley shows up.  She overheard about the scandalous floral arrangements.  “Jack, you’re actually going to MARRY her??”  Yes, he is, and he would like her to be happy for him.  He LOVES Phyllis, and he plans on spending the rest of his life with her.  Ashley doesn’t doubt it, but how does falling in love with another woman fit into his plan? 

 

Billy apologizes to Chelsea for being so blunt.  But he doesn’t want to lie or pretend with her because that’s what cratered his marriage.  Chelsea says her whole relationship with Dylan was based on lies, so she just wants him to say whatever it is.  She won’t flip out if he says he’s conflicted.  Billy’s glad, because after helping deliver the baby, and it was the three of them alone, he “had a moment.”  “So...Ashley is right?  You want to be with her?”  Billy says Ashley is WRONG.  When Billy walked in the door and saw Chelsea he was reminded of how much he loves HER.  He wants to be with Chels.  He shared kids and a life with Vicky, and that connection will always be there, like with her and Adam. 

 

Sage says she hates to put a DENT in Adam’s extremely healthy ego, but her help is not about him, it’s about Constance!  She is the grandmother Sage never had, and she owes her EVERYTHING.  She’s extremely frail, and couldn’t handle finding out he’s not Gabriel.  Adam says he needs Gabriel as much as she does.  Then he has to BE HIM.  Adam says he acted on an impulse!  He thought that’s who she said Gabriel was.  “Even if he was, he would never hurt her!”  Adam’s not trying to hurt her, but he’s not going to stay there and be her prisoner!  This is his chance to start a new life, okay?  And nothing’s going to prevent that.

 

Victor tries to toast Summer, but she wants to wait until Grandma can be there.  Abby thinks she’ll be at the hospital with Victoria for a long time, since there is another baby princess in town.   Victor [doesn’t care] thinks Nikki won’t mind.  Blah blah, Summer is blood.  “To you, my darling.”  They all hold up their glasses, but Summer is too dumb to toast properly and says she wants to toast her mom and Jack.  They’re officially engaged! 

 

“You..expect me to toast JackAbbott?” says Victor.  Summer’s confused.  She loves Jack, Grandpa.  Like, omg, he was her dad for a while, hello?  “I’m not gonna let you gloat over his loss, you understand that, right?”   Victor understands that Summer is a very beautiful, forgiving, and stupid girl, so how about he just goes and finds some more champagne.  He leaves.  It’s awkward.

 

Austin says he seems unusually amenable.  Summer has no idea what amenable means, but says he’s definitely up to something.  Noah says he was on a roll earlier, insulting his mom.  “Too bad I couldn’t be there to join in,” snarks Summer.  “Hold on, Jack’s off limits, but my mom isn’t?  It’s an ILLNESS.  She wasn’t responsible for her actions,” says Noah.  “Responsible or not,” grimaces Austin, “she hurt my wife, and she wrecked a lot of people’s lives, Noah.”

 

Abby’s going to do my job for me.  “Austin, you’re a little out of your element here.”  Summer’s all no you di-int.  “If MY husband has something he wants to say, he’s allowed to say it!”  Austin and Summer can say anything they want, it’s just everyone else who needs to shut up.  By all means, says Abby.  It’s a free country, especially when you don’t have to go to jail after committing a dangerous, violent crime! 

 

Summer’s jaw drops open.  “So it’s not enough that he paid his debt, now he has to come here and get insulted, too?”  Wait, who paid his debt?  “Relax,” says Abby.  She likes Summer’s basket of puppies, really, but Dad would eat him alive if he heard him say that.  Summer’s disgusted.  “Grandpa has wrecked more lives than anyone that I know!”  So wrecking lives is okay as long as you give Summer a trust fund and pay her husband’s cop shooting fines.  “And now he’s going to sit there and try to make me choose between the Newmans and the Abbotts again.”  By not toasting Jack.  How does she stand his emotional trauma???  

 

Nobody understands this more than Abby, but Summer doesn’t HAVE to choose.  She’s NOT an Abbott.  Nick is her father.  Noah says Nick’s his father, too, and how long before Grandpa tries to put him in a position to choose just because he doesn’t like his mom?  Omg, Noah, things are only hard for SUMMER.  “Your mom is getting exactly what she deserves!”  Noah’s like are you kidding me, like YOUR mom is so perfect?!  “Your mom is a lot worse,” says the spawn that broke up Noah’s family.

 

“Honestly, I think it’s a tie,” laughs Abby.  Austin shakes his head.  That’s not funny.  Abby and I thought it was hilarious.  Well, then we can all laugh it up without Summer, because she’s DONE!  “That makes two of us!” says her financially dependent hubby.  Abby’s like, chill!  She’s just trying to lighten the mood with a joke.  “Doesn’t seem like a joke, Abby,” judges kidnapper Austin.  She tells him that’s because he doesn’t understand the ridiculous dynamic in this family.  And DAD doesn’t joke.  He doesn’t know.  

 

Well, there’s one thing Malibu Baby does know, and that’s where the door is.  Then don’t let it hit you on the way out.   Abby and Noah are like see ya.  Victor finally comes back.   Where is Summer going?  Noah says she’s not hungry, and neither is he.  He’s heading out, so enjoy the family dinner…with just Abby.  “What the hell happened?” asks Victor.  “Some people have no sense of humor,” gripes Abby. 

 

Jack admits he fell for Kelly in a big way, but not until AFTER he lost ALL hope Phyllis would ever return.  She BLINDSIDED him coming back.  Ashley says not to mention she upset him by hiding the fact that Summer’s Nick’s daughter.  Jack says that made things a lot more difficult.  Ashley says she caused him a lot of needless pain!  “As Phyllis says, I fell in love with ALL of her, the good and the bad,” says obedient  Jack.  These last few days, he realized he’s as crazy about her now as he’s ever been.  So he has to tell Kelly it’s over.  Ashley’s like, OMG, you haven’t told Kelly??  Why is he stringing her along this way?!  Hey, he TRIED to tell her, but her mom had a heart attack!  He couldn’t add to her problems!  Ashley’s says he has to tell her right away.  What if she hears it from somebody else?  He knows.

 

Kelly and Lily go over someone’s wedding plans.  Uh-oh, Lily says this couple had their first date at a concert in the park.  Waaah, Vivaldi!!  Lily says unconvincingly that maybe Jack’s just trying to let Phyllis down gently and they got interrupted.  Kelly’s like maybe he DID tell her, and they had a big blowup!  Considering the stories she’s heard, she’s surprised Phyllis hasn’t come after her with a machete!  She giggles, and Lily’s like, well, the night is still young.

 

Phyllis is back, and Ashley says she finally understands what the surprise is about, she’s engaged to her brother!  “At long last,” says Phyllis.  Traci thinks it’s great, because Traci thinks everything is great.  They all smile awkwardly at each other.  Jack decides to take Ashley’s advice to heart right this second, and says he has a meeting he can’t get out of.  Phyllis says to send his assistant, Hilary, or a VP.  Because Hilary and VP’s do the same thing.  No, this one Jack has to take care of himself.   Ashley agrees.  He needs to go ASAP before everything falls apart.  

 

Phyllis is bummed that her party sucks.  Traci says impromptu gatherings are always a crapshoot.  Ashley puts on a bright face and says she never said congratulations.  She clinks glasses with Phyllis and says, yay, in a little voice.  LOL.   Phyllis says Ashley might recall she’s not an idiot.  “I know how you feel about me, Ashley, and you probably had a few choice words to say about me behind my back.”  Then why did you invite her to your party?  Ash says she didn’t, and since Jack is gone, it gives the three of them a chance to clear the air.  “I don’t think so,” says Phyllis.

 

Nick has gone to the lonely Wisconsin wilderness to think in a Twin Peaks style cabin.  There’s probably a castle nearby.   A sheep dog comes in behind him.  It has no tags, so Nick’s gonna hang out with him.

 

Unfortunately, Noah, Austin, and Summer all end up in the same place, which is The Underground.  Noah thinks Summer owes him an apology.  “What am I supposed to say, that I FORGIVE your mother for the way she screwed up my whole last year?”  Maybe just shut up about her in general, Summer.   Noah gets mad, but Austin says to let it go.  Victor may have gotten them all wound up without being in the room with them, but they don’t have to let it spoil their night or forget how much they like each other.  “How much we LOVE each other,” says Noah.  They hug. 

 

Noah has to work.  Austin and Summer are starving.  He thinks they could still get a free meal back at Phyllis’, but Summer is SO tired of explanations and defending how she feels.  “Is that why you thanked Jack for telling Kyle, so you didn’t have to?”  Summer says it made it easier, fer sure.  “Because?” asks Austin.  Summer says she and Kyle were…close, at one point.  “How close?”  Summer stammers, and says, “I was… in love with Kyle.”  Austin frowns.  He knew it!

 

Summer and Austin sit in a booth, and she explains that it was the thing with Kyle that started the whole deal with Nick redoing the paternity test.  Austin’s jaw is twitching.  “What are you thinking?” asks Summer.  “Well, if Sharon hadn’t messed with the lab results, your life would be way different,” as in banging Kyle, and Austin would be in the pokey.   Summer realizes that not knowing the truth had a good side.  If she and Kyle had gotten together, she never would have run off with him!  Or married him!  And that is the greatest thing that has ever happened to her!  So maybe you should send Sharon a thank you card.  Instead they hug, but we can see it in their eyes.  IS it the greatest thing?  IS IT?!

 

Nick avoids phone calls from Victor.  He’d rather talk to the dog.  The dog doesn’t want to hear his problems, either.  It’s gone.  

 

Victor tells Abby Nick didn’t pick up but he’s not going to spend the rest of the evening worrying about it.  Abby says he just needs space, like basically everyone else.  “Well, Dad, you can’t control everyone.”  He laughs and says not even you?  Especially not her!  Love and kisses.  He looks on the bright side.  Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and surely everyone will be there for that!  Summer and Austin can judge us all then!

 

Constance comes back to visit Adam, and knows he feels cooped up, so she brought him his favorite book to make him feel better.  Because reading a book is just like going outside.  He says that’s very generous.  The sheepdog comes in, but it starts barking at Adam.  I think this dog’s name is Bulgari?  What has gotten into him?  This is Gabriel!  You adore each other!  Hasn’t Adam been in this castle for like a year? This dog is a little slow.   Anyway, Bulgari likes Nick better than Adam, just like Victor does.

 

Chelsea says it’s all true, blah blah Adam blah hopes and dreams.  Billy says when hopes and dreams don’t pan out, you put them away and find happiness where you can, like he has with her.  That’s great, Billy, but can he honestly say nothing will change between them if the baby is his?

 

Ashley tries to get Phyllis to stay home to give Jack a chance to safely destroy Kelly.  Phyllis is like, nah, she’s going to Jabot so she can connect with old colleagues.  At night.  Ashley and Traci insist they should catch up and plan the party together.  Okay, Jack will be happy about that.  Phyllis knows they’ve had their differences, but she really wants to be part of the family and how Jack she’ll do just about anything to be the wife he deserves.  So why don’t they look at old photo albums of Jack’s family?  They can tells stories about Jack's little, naked butt shots. Traci and Ashley believe her and go search for photo albums.  But you can’t con a con, and Phyllis grabs her jacket and leaves.

 

Kelly has a missed call from Ben.  Jack shows up.  She’s super happy to see him, and tries to hug him.  He pushes her back and says they…need to talk.

 

*Newmanity credited to NinjaPenguins!

Edited November 23, 2014 by peach

[Petunia13]

Peach for President!!

[NinjaPenguins]

 

Nick avoids phone calls from Victor.  He’d rather talk to the dog.  The dog doesn’t want to hear his problems, either.  It’s gone.

This dog is my new favorite character!

[PatsyandEddie]

Peach I have ben eagerly awaiting this particular recap and it is all I had hoped it would be and more!!! Absolute gold!!

Edited November 24, 2014 by PatsyandEddie

[movinon]

Thanks for another great recap.  It was super, but I am so excited to see the one where Nick is going to discover what all his mistakes have done to other people.  I understand it's only one episode - I don't know how he could find all his mistakes in that little time.  Your recap will have to be five pages long to cover this one.

[Joimiaroxeu]

Single White Femaling Mariah now

Yeah. I wonder if they're going to let Mariah comment on it (in that special way of hers) since none of the Abbotts or Newmans did?

 

Did you know he was second in his class at the Harvard Business School?

Yes, his ex Skye was first. (BTW, I'm cosigning on the speculation in another thread that Sage might actually be Skye, miraculously escaped from the volcano's fiery depths.)

[peacheslatour]

This dog is my new favorite character!

Me too.  Didn't Villy used to have a dog?  He's probably over on GH now too.

[glowlights]

This dog is my new favorite character!

 

Yes!!  This dog, Little Johnny and the Newman horses are my favorite actors on this show. :)

 

What cabin is Nick in? Maybe this was explained during the Newmanity (lol!!) Party but I zoned out because Nikki wasn't smashed and that would have been the only interesting thing about a Newman get-together. Maybe Nick can be Adam/Gabriel's work out buddy.

 

They've dyed GT's hair a brighter red, so I think Summer's hair color was changed to make them look more like mother and daughter.

 

Last question: wtf was going on with Jill and the photo and Harding? She took a photo of someone and sent it to the GCPD and they... what happened? They ran a facial recognition scan and then got a warrant, all in less than ten minutes? Paul Williams has an expert forensic analyst just sitting around waiting for people to take photos on their iPhones and send them to him? I need to get drunk when I watch this damn show, maybe it would make more sense....

[peach]

Hey, peeps!  Saying hi.  St Louis protests in progress a mile from my house, so I'm not following Y&R super close this week!  Hate to miss out on Nick the Corn King's stand alone episode, will try to get caught up soon!

[Desperately Random]

No problem peach. Stay safe!

[glowlights]

Stay safe, peach, we'll wait! (Why the hell did I think you were in Nova Scotia????)

[movinon]

Hey, peeps!  Saying hi.  St Louis protests in progress a mile from my house, so I'm not following Y&R super close this week!  Hate to miss out on Nick the Corn King's stand alone episode, will try to get caught up soon!

Please stay safe, Peach - sometimes the world is a scary place.  Taking a week off, myself, for different reasons, and will catch up later.  We will all miss the recaps, but the real world intrudes - recorders on!

[Slowpokey]

Hey, peeps!  Saying hi.  St Louis protests in progress a mile from my house, so I'm not following Y&R super close this week!  Hate to miss out on Nick the Corn King's stand alone episode, will try to get caught up soon!

Be safe Peach.Things are really scary right now.God bless(:

[peach]

I'm safe and sound.  It's a little dicey here and there, but life has to go on.  I'm pretty far away from the really intense stuff in actual Ferguson.  Thanks for thinking of me, y'all.  I'm working on recaps right now even!  Have to fight for the TV with everyone home for Thanksgiving, though.  Doing my best.

And I don't know HOW anyone thought I was in Nova Scotia, lol!

Edited November 27, 2014 by peach

[smartyshorts]

Peach we are all glad you are safe. Now throw some 'bows and swallow the involuntary gag reflex from Neander-sode and try to give your adoring faithful readers what they want so much!

Seriously, just happy you're safe.

Edited November 27, 2014 by smartyshorts

[peach]

Mon, Nov 24   Kelly Gets To Know Phyllis

 

Chelsea asks Billy again if he can honestly say things won’t change between them if the baby is his.   Billy thinks it will be super for Johnny to have a sister and Connor to have a “pal” or step-cousin-sister.  But, Billy, what happens with US?  Nothing, he says, is going to change.  Ooookay, says Chelsea.  He asks why she bothered to ask if she won’t believe him.   He’s right, she shouldn’t have asked, because neither one of them really knows what they’ll do. 

 

Victoria calls.  Can he come to the hospital ASAP and give a DNA sample?  Thanks, Vick, he’s wanted to know for six months, but you’re going to drag him back in the middle of the night because YOU want to know NOW.  Good thing that lab is always open for the Newmans.

 

Constance doesn’t understand, Gabriel, why would Bulgari ,or Bugatti, or whatever this dog’s name is, growl at you??  (She rolls the R on Bulgari.)  Gosh, Gabriel doesn’t understand either.  Sage looks worried.  Adam thinks maybe the dog’s not feeling well.  Nonsense, Constance knows something else is going on. 

 

Sage thinks it’s just that Bulgari has inexplicably been away from Adam during all his surgeries and recovery, and he needs to get reacquainted with his master because dogs act exactly like that.  They also get in Bulgari’s head and figure he must feel abandoned by Gabriel, so he’s kinda pissed.  Constance says she’s an old woman, but she’s not an old fool.  Bulgari knows that you, Gabriel, are not the same man you used to be.  Make a run for it, Adam!

 

Stitch shows up at Victoria’s request.  He hopes his mom hasn’t turned up there to bug her.  Victoria’s like,what do you mean “turn up?”  Apparently she checked herself out of the hospital.  “After a heart attack and surgery?!” says Victoria.  Stitch doesn’t want her to worry her pretty little head over it.  How’s the baby?  She just got swabbed for the DNA test.  Billy’s coming to give his sample, so pony up, Stitch.   Is she sure she’s ready for this?  “For all our sakes, I think it’s time my daughter knows who her father is.”

 

Jack holds Kelly off of him and says they need to talk.  She tries to play it cool.  She knows exactly what he’s going to say, so let her save him the trouble, and say it for him.  Jack looks confused.

 

Hilary sits at Jack’s desk working because I guess she doesn’t have an office.  Devon comes in.  She’s so THRILLED, she jumps up and runs to him with kisses.  “What are you doing here?!”  He’s trying to steal every second he can with her, steal being the operative word.  They make out.  She hugs him and says she wishes they could stay like this forever!   But she really does have to do work this time, and..Neil’s at home, waiting for her.   Wah.  Devon struggles to cope with Hilary having a job.  More kissing.  Phyllis is outside the door!

 

She comes in the office, but Hil and Devon have already pulled apart. Small talk.  Hilary introduces herself, and Phyllis says Jack has sung her praises.  Blah blah.  Phyllis is there because Jack said he had a meeting tonight.  HILARY, who pretends to go to fake meetings every night of the week, is confused.  Jack’s not even there, must be some kind of mix-up.  Way to cover for your BOSS.  Devon and Hilary think maybe Jack took a client to the club.  Phyllis leaves to find out. 

 

Hilary freaks out and says that was WAY TOO CLOSE!  They need to be more careful, Devon!   Devon obviously doesn’t give a single shit if they get caught.  He knows they can’t have a life together yet, but can they at least just have THIS, Hilary?  Can they please just kiss in someone else’s unlocked office, for God’s sake?!

 

Kelly tells Jack he does not need to feel bad about this.  He doesn’t.  LOL  Kelly KNOWS he’s been so tired and distracted, she couldn’t expect him to wait with her at the hospital all night.  He hates that she went through that alone.  Kelly says she had Ben and nurses and stuff.  Her mom’s doing okay because she’s a strong lady.  “Like her daughter,” says Jack.  He worries about her…because…gosh, he doesn’t know how to say this.  Kelly insists he’s there for her, just like she’s there for HIM, RIGHT?!  Blah blah.  How about he goes with her to the hospital?  Jack stares at her sadly.  More than anything, he doesn’t want to hurt her.  “Then don’t,” says Kelly. 

 

Chelsea asks if Billy’s okay.  Sure, if being completely freaked out counts as okay.  “Freaked that it won’t be your baby, or freaked that it will?”  He doesn’t even know.  Either way, he should go.  Chelsea decides to go with him.  If you can’t beat’em, join’em!  She thinks they should bring Johnny since he hasn’t seen his mom in a few days.  And no matter what, the baby will be Johnny’s little sister.  Billy’s happy for her support, but he goes out the door and heaves a deep sigh.

 

Victoria tells Stitch the DNA test will be a relief for all of them.  Stitch is upset thinking about what would have happened if they hadn’t found Victoria in time. But he did, says Vicky, and the baby’s here, and she’s beautiful.    She would do anything in the world for her!  Like a true mom, praises Stitch.  “Which is why I don’t understand Maureen at all,” says Vicky.  Well, probably because Stitch isn’t beating the hell out of you.  He says it’s nothing for her to worry about.

 

“HOW could she let you take the blame for killing your father??”  Stitch says it was HIS choice.  But he was just a teenager!  Vicky’s disgusted.  Stitch says even as an adult he stayed silent, even when his ex took his kid away.  So why didn’t he speak up then?  Stitch gets choked up and says he used to watch his father beat his mother…and for a long time he felt like telling the truth would just crush her!  And make him just as bad as his dad.  He couldn’t do it!  “Until now,” says Vicky.   Because you’re such a Special Snowflake!

 

When his mom came to town, he realized killing his dad was over for her a long time ago.  “But you’re still paying,” says Vicky.  “I lost so much,” says Stitch, “my son, my wife, my work.  I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you, too, Vick.  Not because of a lie.”  It means a lot to Vicky that she’s more important than everyone else, I mean, that he told the truth.  Stitch needs to know what all this means for THEM.

 

Hey, Devon figured out how to lock the door.  But Hilary still has work to do.  Unemployed billionaire Devon ignores that and says tonight this isn’t an office.  He turns down the lights and plays stupid Hawaiian music on her laptop.  Devon and Hilary are going to pretend some more, you guys, which is even more boring than their real lives.  He thinks it’s absurdly romantic, though.

 

Adam insists that OF COURSE he’s the same man, Grandmother.  “You may be the same Gabriel on the outside, but you’re a different man on the inside.”  Adam says she sounds almost happy about that.  She is!  What makes Bulgari growl, makes her proud, and makes her love her darling grandson more than ever.  Because becoming a BETTER person always makes a dog suspicious.  Sage wheels away the crazy lady.  Adam’s frustrated about this damn mutt that hates him because he’s not a cool dudebro like Nick.

 

Victoria says Stitch still has his medical license, doesn’t he?  Well, his case is still pending with the state board, but what does that have to do with them?  I think has to do with the fact that your attractiveness is directly related to being a doctor.  Vicky thinks it’s simple that once they find out he’s not responsible for murder, they’ll readmit him to the residency program.  Stitch is a lot less concerned about his career right not than he is about the two of them, because he doesn’t understand how girls work.  “How do you see me now?” he asks.   As someone who MIGHT be a doctor, duh.  Billy, Chelsea, and Johnny interrupt before Vicky can answer.   Billy says someone wants to see his little sister. 

 

Jack tells Kelly that Phyllis found the engagement ring.  “That must have been awkward,” says Kelly, “her thinking you were going to propose, when really you were going to tell her it’s over between you?”  Um, that was you.  Jack stares.  “You did tell her that, didn’t you?”  No, he didn’t.  Oh, well, Kelly understands.  She just wants you to know she LOVES YOU, Jack.

 

Jack tries to interrupt, but Kelly tries to stave off the inevitable with bright, fast talking about how supportive he is of Phyllis, and of course he doesn’t want to say anything to upset her.  Blah blah, she understands he doesn’t want to devastate Phyllis.  She can wait!!  It’s OKAY!  She’s going to hold onto the fact that as soon as Phyllis is better, they can be together again.  “Kelly, please listen to me…” 

 

Phyllis has found them!  She watches from a distance.  Jack says he told Kelly he would never stop loving Phyllis, and he never did.  It was only when he gave up ALL HOPE that he thought they could have a future together.  “We can have a future together, Jack!” smiles Kelly, half-happy, half-crazy.  Jack tells her they CAN’T…but before he can dump her properly, Phyllis sweeps up with a big grin.  Kelly is JUST the person she wanted to see!  Did Jack tell her?  They’re getting married!  She holds up her engagement ring with a giant, fake smile.  Cold.  Kelly looks like someone pantsed her right on the playground.

 

Adam tells Sage to keep that damn dog away from him before Constance gets wise.  He’s working Sage’s last nerve.  She’s not his doormat, so STOP ordering her around!  She only helped Adam to spare Constance the pain of losing her only grandson.  Oh yeah, well what other reason did she have for nursing him back from surgery and giving him Gabriel’s name, his face, his life?  Sage claims that by helping him reclaim his life, she's giving Gabriel a chance to live HIS life again, too.  “You think I’m blowing it, don’t you?”

 

She’s told him, being Gabriel Bingham is more than just having his face.  That’s what the dog sensed.  If he doesn’t correct it, Constance is going to see right through it.  Fine, educate him.  She explains that Gabriel was incredibly charming.  Adam’s like, yeah, yeah, charming, whatever.  She’s like, you don’t get it.  Most rich, powerful men just like to talk about themselves.  “But not the angelic Gabriel, right?”  Sage smiles and says, oh, Gabriel was NO angel, but he listened.  And women responded.   Okay, fine, Adam’s willing to do whatever he has to to get out of this castle and back to his family, even if it means being incredibly charming to women.

 

Billy and Victoria assure Johnny that Mommy’s not sick, she was just busy giving him a new baby sister.  He’ll take Johnny to see the baby, and then do that DNA thing.  Stitch will, too.  Stitch and Billy have a dumb, little, bro moment, and Stitch leaves.  Billy takes Johnny to the nursery, and Chelsea stays to have a word with Victoria.  There’s something she needs to know.

 

Kelly sits frozen in shock while Phyllis says they NEED an event planner, and she wouldn’t think of using ANYONE else.  With Kelly in charge, she and Jack will have a wedding that GC will never forget.  Jack’s trying to shut this down.  They don’t need to talk about this right now!  Phyllis says they DO need to talk about all the flash and details and choices for their big day, right?  “RIGHT,” Kelly finally says.  “All about choices,” she says, looking at Jack with utter betrayal on her face.  Phyllis just twists and twists the knife while Kelly and Jack stare at each other, until Jack finally says they have to go.  Okay, well Phyllis just needs to set up a time with Kelly to plot and plan.  So what’s a good day for her?  How about the day after NEVER!!!

 

Devon and Hilary lay on Jack’s office couch and cuddle and bore the crap out of me.  It’s been SO amazing that Hilary finally notices the time!  OMG, it’s so late, and she has SO MUCH WORK TO DO! Now she’ll have to wake up early and crank it out then.  Devon will get to sleep in, I guess, but he throws some whiny guilt on her anyway.  She apologizes for having a job and being married to his blind dad, but they have to return to reality.  She wants him to promise not to be so friggin obvious when he stares at her on Thanksgiving.  That’s impossible, says Devon.  He’s more worried about Lily’s doomsday lunch to meet his girlfriend.  He’ll just have to get one of those dumb models he knows to stand in.  No way, Hilary gets to pick the woman of his dreams. And she is NOT going to be skinnier than Hilary.

Chelsea wants Victoria to know she’s really happy for her.  She knows how much she wanted another baby, and now she has a sweet, little girl.  Vicky says thanks, especially since things might get tough for her if the baby is Billy’s.  How will she even handle Billy being the father of Special Snowflake’s baby?  With hot, nonjudgmental sex, duh.  “Any baby of Billy’s will always be welcome in our home.”  Did you hear that, Victoria, in OUR home.  Good, says Vicky. 

 

Chelsea’s going to catch up with Billy…but she loves him, you know.  “Maybe you don’t want to hear that right now, but isn’t it better to know that I actually CARE about him, that I’m not using him to forget about Adam?”  Vicky doesn't look like it's better at all.  Billy comes in, and Chelsea leaves to look after Johnny, while Vicky acts all puny and sad.  He asks if she’s okay, but the nurse comes in to take him to get tested.  He’s ready.

 

Jack tells Phyllis she can call LILY later in the week to make any arrangements she wants.  Kelly still looks like she has a knife in the gut AND the back, while Phyllis says if they wait, they won’t get the date they want, etc.  Stitch walks in.  He’s sorry to interrupt, but he has to talk to Kelly about Mom escaping the hospital.  She’s like, wait, WHAT?  How crappy is this night going to get?  Stitch says Mom left a note. 

 

Phyllis is sorry to hear about her mother, and decides to stop pouring salt in Kelly’s wounds and leave.  Jack asks if he can stay and help.  “NO, Jack, you leave with your fiancée.”  But, he has resources that… “Goodbye, Jack!”  They leave.  Stitch is like what was that about??  Kelly stammers that she needs to get out of there.  Wait, he has something else horrible to tell her.  She says not now, please!  He would wait, but he doesn’t want her to hear it from someone else.  It’s going to change his life, and hers.   Kelly’s life has probably changed enough in the past five minutes.

 

Billy comes back to Vicky’s room.  The test is done.  Now’s the hard part, waiting for the results.  They giggle about this crazy Jerry Springer situation.  Billy says that whoever wins the lab lottery, he wants her to know she can always count on HIM.  Chelsea comes back with Johnny.  Blah blah.  Vicky and Billy have a little “thanks again” moment, and Chelsea tries not to worry too much off to the side.  They leave.

 

Adam is sleeping and cries out CHELSEA! and wakes up.  Creepy Constance is watching him, and says he’s been dreaming.  He hopes he didn’t disturb her.  She says when he was a little boy and had nightmares, he always came to HER room.  He’d climb up on her bed…and what was the name of that poem she’d always recite for him?  The one that made him smile and forget bad dreams?  Umm, uh, that was a long time ago, Grandmother, how the hell is he supposed to know?  Constance says it was a lifetime ago!  So, who is Chelsea?  Adam’s like, umm, not my wife?

 

Kelly says there’s nothing Stitch could say that would shock her.  Hmm, let’s see about that.  “I didn’t kill Dad, Kelly.”  She’s confused.  He CONFESSED, they locked him up.  Stitch says he did it to protect someone.  Kelly’s like wtf?  WHO?  He hesitates, then says he was a minor, so he thought they’d take it easy on him.  Kelly stares…this is not possible, Ben.  He hands her their mom’s note.  “She wanted me to tell you the truth.  After you went away, Dad became more abusive.” 

 

Kelly’s coming unglued.  Abusive??  Dad was never abusive!!  He WAS, Kell, Stitch is telling you he WAS.  The night it happened they got in a huge fight, and Stitch took off.  Mom…she couldn’t take it anymore.  Kelly keeps squealing that Dad wasn’t abusive!  Stitch explains that Mom just hid it from her.  Kelly can barely speak.  She didn’t know!  How could she do this?  They took Stitch away and locked him up, her own son!   How could she be so selfish?!!  Stitch holds her.

 

Jack and Phyllis get home, and he’s rubbing his whole face now.  “Kelly must be worried SICK about her mother,” remarks cold ass Phyllis.  Jack scolds her for coming in all ramped up about wedding plans when Kelly was all stressed out about her mom.  He thinks she should have kept that news to herself, which is kind of an odd thing to say about a wedding planner.  Well, she couldn’t wait, she’s so excited and so in love.  Isn’t HE?  He still wants to marry her, doesn’t he?  “Speak now, Jack Abbott, or forever hold your peace.”

 

Devon and Hilary kiss more.  “Fantasy over, I have to go,” says Hilary.  They waste several more minutes of my life on a long, drawn out, staring goodbye.

 

Adam tells Sage that Constance was asking him who CHELSEA is.  Oh, Chelsea is a PLACE, not a person.  REMEMBER  his college year abroad in London?  In Chelsea?   They all country club laugh, Ah ha ha, ah ha ha ha.  REMEMBER how you loved that Bohemian life there? 

 

Oh, yes, how could Adam forget, with all those women to charm.  Because he’s CHARMING like that.  Oh, Adam, charming people don’t TALK about being charming.  But Constance is charmed anyway, and says she remembers how happy he was in Chelsea, lol, with his whole life before him.  It still is, he says.  That’s her boy.  He grandma flirts until Sage wheels Constance off to bed.  He whispers thank you to Sage.  Once they’re gone he sneaks his laptop out so he can catch up on his Fantasy Football league, and stare lovingly at a photo of that Chelsea that makes him so happy.

 

Chelsea comes downstairs and tells Billy that Johnny’s all settled down.  My husband came in and said that cute dress I liked looks like it came from K-Mart.  I countered that maybe it’s from the Adam Levine collection.  Billy’s exhausted but can’t sleep.  So let’s drink.  These test results are getting to him.  It’s going to be a long, long night.  Chelsea can ease his anxiety, hubba hubba.  Billy thinks she’s super great and he doesn’t feel alone.  She says she knows how it feels to be alone.  Luckily, they never have to feel that way again.  I think Billy might have to BE alone for five minutes before he could feel alone, but they make out to celebrate their not aloneness.

 

Jack says, no doubts, no second thoughts, no regrets.  “I love you.  I belong with you.”  Phyllis asks why.  Because she stood by him when he got off the pills?  Because that’s not a good enough reason.  “Then thank God that’s not the reason,” he says.  “When I’m with you, I’m more alive than I’ve ever been with anyone.”  “Anyone?” challenges Phyllis.  Jack’s like do I have to prove myself to you?  “Every day.  And every night.”  They kiss, and she leads him upstairs.

 

Stitch wants to take Kelly upstairs to get some rest, and THEN he’ll go look for Mom.  NO!  Let Mom go!  I’m sure she’ll be fine running down the street after open heart surgery.  Stitch knows she’s angry, but they CAN’T write off their mom!   She says he’s spent his entire life protecting her, he needs to take care of HIMSELF now.  And she needs to do the same thing, because NOBODY is going to help them out!  Waah!   Stitch asks what else happened tonight.  She wipes away a tear and says she doesn’t want to talk about it.  And she doesn’t want him to worry about it, either.   He needs to go out there and get the life that was taken away from him.  Get himself a whole new, beautiful, better life!  That’s all that matters.  Mom can die in a ditch.  Along with Jack and Phyllis.

 

Vicky rocks her adorable baby.  She says what beautiful eyes she has.  Are they like Ben’s?  Or Billy’s?  We all know they’re NEWMAN eyes, K?

[NinjaPenguins]

It's wonderful to see you in fine form as always, peach! Hope you are safe and well.

 

You're able to distill down to the bare essentials why I loathe Victoria so much. Special Snowflake indeed. Thank goodness no two snowflakes are alike and they eventually melt.

 

Once they’re gone he sneaks his laptop out so he can catch up on his Fantasy Football league, and stare lovingly at a photo of that Chelsea that makes him so happy

 

.

Oh, show. Stop trying to sell me on this great love between Chelsea and Adam. I didn't buy it when MM was Adam and this new hottie won't convince me either. I do, however, buy that new Billy would be dumb and tacky enough to love his rapist.

[peacheslatour]

Thanks for another amazing re-cap peach!  And on Thanksgiving too, wow.  I hope all my fellow Americans had a great holiday and spent the day with loved ones (family or not). 

I think the dog's name is Bugatti, which is a sports car and not a jewelry and luxury brand.  But you never know with these people.

[peach]

Tue, Nov 26   Nobody Expects The Spanish Inquisition

 

Manly man Nick chops wood outside his cabin.  He’s really mad, you guys, he’s chopping it really hard!!  Uh-oh, he pulls a pint of whiskey out of his back pocket.  This is getting serious.  Actually, this is like a regular weekend in my family. 

 

FLASHBACK!  Oh, this is the time Nick accused Sharon of doing every single damn thing he thought he did first.  Sharon’s telling Nick there will always be an Us.  “Sharon, you STOLE my child from me.  How many times did you watch me cry?  Blah Waah Blah.  “But if they could forgive YOU for that, then you could forgive me for THIS.”  WRONG.   “You broke my daughter’s heart.”

 

Back to the whiskey.  CHOP! CHOP! CHOP! CHOP!  He drains the bottle!  He’s in a whiskey fueled sweat.

 

FLASHBACK!  Sharon’s weeping that she’s sorry, she’s so sorry!

 

Nick stumbles around with his axe, which seems a little dangerous, but it’s better than a chainsaw, I guess.  He stacks some wood.

 

FLASHBACK!  He’s telling Sharon in the park that he doesn’t want to be around her!  Sharon’s calling, Please!  PLEASE!!

 

Nick grabs an armload of wood and heads for the cabin.  OMG, he hears rustling in the woods!   Woods do tend to rustle, but he looks pretty freaked out.  Paranoia.  Aww, it’s just that Bugatti.  Nick is so relieved, he thought it was a bear!  “Don’t you know you’re not supposed to sneak up on some miserable drunk with an axe nearby?”  Well, it’s better than hanging out in that crummy castle with friggin’ Adam. 

 

“Are you lost?” he asks.  “Join the club.”  Nick could use the company, so he brings the dog in and gives him some water.  This is a hunter’s cabin, so he thinks there must be booze in it.  He finds some old, dusty bottle of something and wonders if alcohol can go bad.  Um…it’s aged.  This stuff seems pretty rank, but Nick’s already drunk so he doesn’t care.  It’s probably just Jaegermeister.  He sits on the floor and enjoys the peace and quiet.  It’s just men, being whiny babies, I mean, uh, MEN.  The best part about this cabin is there are no WOMEN.  Because women, my friend, are always the problem. 

 

Drunks making fires.  Always entertaining and risky.  I think he might be drinking cough syrup.  You know what a drunk’s fire always needs?  MORE WOOD!!  He goes out for more.   Blah, blah, women, amirite?  He goes back inside…and there is Amy.  “Hello, Nick.”

 

Nick is, naturally, very surprised.   She looks great!  Well, she wasn’t sure if he would recognize her, she’s changed, plus he’s hallucinating.  “We all have,” says Nick.  “Not you.”  Ouch.  He says he’s working on that.  IKR?  I mean, have you seen Twitter?  He better do SOMETHING.  So what has Amy been up to, besides appearing in cough syrup visions?  Oh, you know, just life.  But she thinks about him sometimes.  Does he ever think about her?  Sure, sometimes.  High school, the coffee house.  They joke about him being that cute, cocky asshole back from boarding school.  Amy wanted so much for him to like her.

 

FLASHBACK!  I can’t get enough of Baby Nick flashbacks, seriously.  Amy and Nick sit in the coffee house.  She takes his hand and says it’s time for her to show him how much she cares about his trust fund. 

 

“I REALLY liked you,” says Nick.  That’s just it.  He just liked her, but the problem was she LOVED him.  “You were my first, the one I will never forget.”   He’s sorry.  Amy’s sorry it didn’t last, but she’s not sorry they made love.

 

“Made love,” sneers another voice.  It’s Grace’s boobs.  “You make it sound so sweet,” she mocks.  “Like pink cotton candy.  Which can also make people sick to their stomach.  Maybe that’s why it didn’t work out.”  Nick scolds Grace to leave her alone.  Grace thinks that’s cute.  “Defending her honor…after taking her innocence and DUMPING her.”  Amy’s like, gross.  She doesn’t want GRACE defending her.  “Don’t put it like that,” says Amy. 

 

Nick tells Amy she was SO amazing, and beautiful, and sweet, and NICE.  Why didn’t he stay with her?  Think how differently his life could have turned out.  Hmm, you would have cheated on her instead of Sharon?  Grace is like, because you’re a man whore.  “I’m surprised crushing her tender, little heart didn’t keep you interested in her.  You DO like a needy damsel.  Maybe that’s why I was never a good fit.”  She climbs all over him so she can be a good fit right now.  NO, Nick already told her this isn’t happening.  He walks away.  “Oh, come on.  Whenever you and Sharon hit a rough patch, Grace was always there to kiss the boo boo.”  I make it a general rule to avoid people who refer to themselves in the third person.

 

FLASHBACK!  B cup Grace is climbing all over Nick 20 years ago, telling him she wishes there was something she could do to make it hurt less.   “Baby, you’re all tied up in knots.”  She’s here, Nick, she’s here for you.  Sexy times.

 

Nick blames Grace, of course.  “You always showed up when I didn’t have my head on straight.  Just like the other night at my bar, and like right now.”  Lucky you, says Grace.  “You chased me,” says Nick.  LOL  Nick tried so hard to get away he fell right on top of her.  “Sharon was your friend,” accuses Nick.  Interesting, since Sharon was your WIFE.    Amy’s like, hey!  “Sharon was my friend, too.  That didn’t stop you from leaving me to be with her.”  “He’s all torn up about it, clearly,” says Grace. 

 

Sharon and I, were… “She was just the true love of my life,” mocks Grace.  “The one that’s supposed to last forever,” reminds Amy.  “And yet, you were still able to enjoy MY charms,” says Grace.  Nick’s not saying it was right, or that it made sense, he’s just trying to explain.  “You mean make excuses,” says Grace.  “You were still willing to cheat on your beloved.  The question is why?”  Because it was easy, says Amy.  “I WAS easy, wasn’t I,” sighs Grace.  “And so were you,” she tells Amy, “even though you weren’t that up front about it.”  Amy sheepishly grins.  Ya got her there. 

 

Nick says be nice to Amy!  “Look, I DID like you.  Everyone did.  My MOM liked you!”  “She sure didn’t like Sharon,” says Grace.  Victor did, snarks Amy.  “Til they got married.  After that, not so much.  My dad will NEVER forgive Sharon burning down the ranch.”  Poor, innocent Victor.  “As much as he liked her then, he hates her even more now.”  Nick realizes that maybe that’s why he went back to her again.  Maybe he had to prove something to his dad.  That he was right, and Victor was wrong!  “That is not what it was,” says SHARON softly.  Everyone turns and stares at her.  “It wasn’t revenge.  It wasn’t payback.  It was just love.”

 

OMG, this is too much.  Nick stumbles outside.  He yells at Bugatti for being a terrible watchdog and letting all these hallucinations in.  And no, he’s not afraid of facing her, he just came to get some fresh air.  Things are a little trippier than usual for him tonight!  It’s like they’re really in there!  And he’s getting annoyed because not one of them is taking the blame for any of the stuff THEY PULLED ON HIM OVER THE YEARS!  Nick feels like an innocent bystander getting hit by friendly fire everywhere!  Did someone say friendly fire?  He hears video game noises inside.  Ugh.

 

He goes back inside to find Phyllis feverishly playing a video game.  He’s in!  New Phyllis has so much more polish that this is way harder to believe now.  We’re subjected to this idiocy for a while, while she asks him WHAT he was doing with Amy and Grace.  Eww.  She says what a waste of time (word), because they got it all wrong.  “You, my friend, like a challenge.”  Nick’s like, oh, meaning you?  Yeah, what a challenge to get Phyllis in bed.  “You mean challenge, or pain in the ass?” he snarks, but he’s laughing. 

 

Blah blah, what they had was great for a while.  But it ended, so whose fault was it, Nick asks.  “Why does it have to be anyone’s fault, Nick?”  People only say that when it’s their fault.  “Why can’t it be that love just ends?  Or maybe it doesn’t.  Maybe love’s like a merry-go-round, and you just jump off and on when you want.”  Is she saying she wants him to jump back on her merry-go-round?  Phyllis asks if that’s what HE wants.  He looks away.  Yeah, that’s what she thought.  Oh, and their bad relationship was HIS fault. 

 

BAM!  Game over!  He can’t believe she let that troll rip out his heart.  “Watch what you call my sister.”  Lol  He would NEVER call her sister that.  Avery appears with an eerie, Stepford smile.  She knows Phyllis is just joking.  He jumps up.  “You’re not a troll,” he says.  You’re a bloodsucking leech.  “She’s all sunshine and cupcakes,” says Phyllis.  Avery admits her cupcakes are spectacular.  She has them mostly covered up today, though. 

 

“Face it, Nick, you weren’t all that in love with her.”  Nick says she’s WRONG!  He tells Avery he DID love her.  “Now you’re just sucking up to the woman who left you at the altar,” says Phyllis. “YOU cheated on him with Ronan,” retorts Avery.  Ya did, says Nick.  THAT was sex, says Phyllis.  Sister Dearest flat out fell in love with someone else.  Talk about humiliation.  Nick thinks she has a point.  Why didn’t Avery just cut him loose months before that?  Because sometimes you don’t know what you really feel til someone kidnaps a baby.  And you’re left standing on the precipice about to make the jump.  “You LEFT me on that precipice, in front of our friends and family, looking like a chump!”  Phyllis says she tries to love her, but Avery has layers, little layers of imperfection.  Like Shrek.

 

Nick’s like shut your pie hole, Phyllis.  SHE put him through hell repeatedly.  The least she could have done was not sleep with Ronan.  Well, Phyllis wishes that was one memory that could stay gone after the coma. But look at her and Avery now, they’re buddies.  Avery says no need to rehash the past.  “We’re cool,” says Phyllis.  “NO, we are NOT COOL!” says Nick.  “You hurt me.  You betrayed me, both of you!  And I have to go on pretending like it doesn’t bother me.  We have these polite conversations back and forth.  But I’ll tell you what, I was mad then, and I’m mad now!  And I want to get to the bottom of it but neither of you wants to!”

 

Phyllis is like, oh really.  They were cutting him a break, but if he wants to get down and dirty about who did what to whom, or what he did to Sharon?  Avery says he wasn’t exactly Saint Nicholas.  Not by a long shot.  “And you’re standing here, in righteous indignation.  I’m mad,” mocks Phyllis.  Too bad, because you have some things to answer for, Nick Newman, and now is the time.  She sits him down.  “So, what, I’m on trial now?”  Avery puts her glasses on.  Shit’s about to get real.  “Court is now in session.”

 

Nick faces down Phyllis, Amy, Grace, and Avery.  He says this is a crock!  Avery begins.  “Nicholas Newman, isn’t it true you recklessly endangered hearts with your careless declarations of love?  You loved’em and left’em, in fact, with NO signs of remorse, from your callow youth until the present.”  Nick says that’s not true!  There was remorse.  HOW MUCH?  Phyllis asks if he’s forgotten how much he hurt this poor woman, looking at Amy.

 

FLASHBACK!  Baby Nick and Amy are at the coffee house.  He really looks like Cillian Murphy.  He cares about Amy a lot, and he feels so bad. He can’t get Sharon out of his head, but, hey, can we still be friends?  No, Nick, she will never forgive you. 

 

Nick tells present day Whiskey Amy that he’s so sorry.   She didn’t deserve that.   Personally, I think Amy should be over her high school boyfriend.  “I gave you something special.  What if that happened to Summer?” she asks.  He’d kill the guy, period!  “What about what I deserved?” asks Grace.  A bus ticket back to Chicago?   Nick’s like, come on, you know we never had anything real.  They probably had real crabs.  She says it’s still nice to be asked. 

 

“But he couldn’t care about you,” says Phyllis, “because he was too busy obsessing about that delicate flower known as Sharon.”  That he was married to.  “Same reason he ditched you,” she says to Amy.  “Same reason he was all like ‘meh’ when Avery went back to Dylan.”  Phyllis makes terrible arguments.  “You let that little blonde get inside your head.  What a chump.”  Nick doesn’t want to do this.  “Ask him if he promised to love me!” says Phyllis.  Of course he did.  “Did you promise to love her FOREVER?” asks Avery while Phyllis gives him the evil alien glare. 

 

FLASHBACK!  Fake flashback of Nick and new Phyllis’ wedding vows, which are just gross considering they were breaking Nick and Sharon’s vows.  I mean, how could that not last forever and ever?  They specifically promise a lot of faithfulness, so that was amusing.

 

“Your promise?  Did you keep it?” asks cheater Avery.  “No,” whispers Phyllis for him.  “Well, did YOU?” says Nick.  “We could talk about Ronan again!”  “Who cheated FIRST?!  Let’s go there!”  Well, you and Nick cheated first, together.  NO!  It’s in the past, and Nick DOESN’T WANNA!  Waaah!!!  “Oh yeah, we’re going there,” says Phyllis.

 

FAKE FLASHBACK!  They have a fight because Nick was so dishonest cheating on Phyllis with his ex-wife.  He should at least have the guts to admit it, that he was still in love with Sharon while they were building their cheater life together, and having a child.  Etc.  She’s super alien pissed and crying.  She starts hitting him, and then turns around and falls apart.  JUST GO.

 

“We were over then, and we just didn’t know it,” says Whiskey Phyllis.  Does he have any remorse on that one?  Any regret?  Nick gets all worked up.  “Faith is in this world because of me and Sharon, just like Summer is because of you and me!  To say I regret that, I can’t!  Those two girls and Noah are the only good thing I’ve done in my life.  The only great thing!”  How is he supposed to procreate without cheating all the time?!  He’s so sorry that he hurt Phyllis, but he can’t regret those girls being in this world. 

 

“Is there anyone you haven’t cheated on?” asks Amy.  “Now you’re getting it, precious,” says Grace.  “It wasn’t just you.  He’s practically a professional!”  He’s not denying anything, he knows he’s caused a lot of damage.  “And yet you knowingly and repeatedly committed emotional polygamy!” says AVERY.  Nick’s like GMAFB, people are going to fall in love more than once in their lifetimes!  Avery says the point is he emotionally engages with more than one partner at a time.  “Like every time,” says Phyllis.  LIKE THEM.  Nick says this is not fair.  Avery’s in love with Dylan, and Phyllis is in love with Jack!  Grace announces she’s still single, but Amy says they know.  Everyone knows.

 

So is that it, is Nick convicted of being a jerk?!  Avery’s like, seriously? She hasn’t even called her star witness yet.  Sharon Collins Newman Newman Newman.

 

After the commercials, Nick is just sitting on a stump, drinking and listening to owls hoot.  Sharon is there.  Already, the chemistry between them puts all the cabin stuff to shame. “It’s beautiful out,” she says serenely.  It really is peaceful out here, says Nick.  “But not in there?” says Sharon.  Nick’s all choked up.  “I’ve made so many mistakes.  So many promises I haven’t kept.”  Sharon says it’s being human.  We fail, we struggle, but we try to do better.  Sometimes it works, sometimes…  “But it wasn’t just me.  It was the two of us, making those promises to each other.”

 

FLASHBACK!  Baby Nick is saying his vows to Baby Sharon.  Maybe he shouldn’t have promised to bring love to the lives of those they touch.

 

And we meant it, says Whiskey Sharon.  Every word.

 

FLASHBACK!  The crashed wedding.  Nick asks what’s the request.  “That you forgive me, not only for my past mistakes, but all the ones I’m sure to make between now and death do us part.”

 

“I mean, what the hell, Sharon?!  From the beginning, there were all these secrets, these things that you didn’t trust me with.  Matt Clark, and Cassie?  It’s like you didn’t have faith in me, in us.  And after that were more secrets and lies.  Diego..and Brad!”  Yeah, I remember Brad.  “It’s like you kept giving us reasons not to stay together.”  Sharon says it was fear, and shame.  She felt like she didn’t deserve him, later.  He says later was different, when they had this dance (Phyllis).  But from the beginning there were all these lies.  We get it, show, Nick has an entire episode to reflect on his mistakes, and it’s still all Sharon’s fault. No reason to go over the part where he fucked her and Noah over for Phyllis.  Poor, poor Nick.

 

Sharon was afraid he wouldn’t love her if he knew the truth.  That’s the thing, says Nick, it was like his JOB to love her.  It was like this test he had to pass.  Did he love her enough, did he protect her enough, did he forgive her enough??  WTF is he talking about?  That was all HIM!  I WILL LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANY LOVER HAS EVER LOVED LOVE!  Idiot.  But the baby is tired.  He can’t do it anymore.  He couldn’t fix her, he couldn’t heal her, and the truth is he probably never should have tried.  You know, this would be a much more moving conversation if he was having it with REAL Sharon.

 

“Nick, please don’t say that.”  Nick is all weepy and said he tried to convince himself that everything that happened to us would lead to them being together forever.  Right, YOU convinced YOURSELF.  “Instead it just led to you..devastating my kid.”  That might have been Jack’s.  “You said you would forgive me.”  Nick doesn’t know how a woman can rip a kid out of his life, and him out of hers.  How many years did he DEVOTE TO HER?!  Sweet, DEVOTED Nick.  Oh, the Newmanity. 

 

She sits with him.  She’s so sorry!!  HOW many times have they said that back and forth to each other?  It doesn’t change anything!  “It does.  It changes everything, if you let it.”  He can’t!  He can’t let sorry fix it this time.  He can’t be around her or talk to her.  He’ll never feel for her what he used to.  

 

Sharon says he can’t shut her out.  It doesn’t work, it never has.  Not for long.  Well, he’s gotta try.  He’s gotta keep his distance, or they’ll end up back in the same place.  Oh, so you WILL feel the way you used to.  Okay.  They’ll start talking about Faith, and be civil at school, and dinners, and holidays…and pretty soon she’ll be back in his life again.  He can’t let that happen.  “That’s because we forgive each other, Nick.  That’s who we are,” she whispers.   Not this time, baby.  He will never love her, OR ANY WOMAN…EVER AGAIN!  Waaahhh!!!!  He runs in the cabin.  Too bad Nick hasn’t realized that “always” and “never” are a big part of his problem.

 

Nikki’s sitting there.  “Any woman, sweetheart?”  Come to Momma.  WAAAHHH!!!!

 

We know this isn’t Real Nikki, because she doesn’t want any whiskey.  She makes him drink water.  “So, this is how you’re going to handle it, huh?   No emotion, just a lot of whiskey?”  He says that sounds like a country song he and Phyllis would have two-stepped to.  Is that a joke?  Did that really ever happen??  Nikki knows it’s agonizing, handing your heart to someone hoping they will take such good care of it.  But others just are careless or don’t know how.   Our hearts break so easily when we love so deeply.  And she did warn him about Sharon.  “There it is.  The I told you so.”  Well, she did. 

 

FLASHBACK!  Omg.  I know it was the 80’s, but Nikki looks like a trashy circus clown.  She also looks about the same age as Baby Nick.  WEIRD!  It’s another Sharon breakup, and Nikki thinks maybe it’s all for the best.  “Very often, girls like Sharon are more trouble than they’re worth,” says the KILLER CLOWN STRIPPER!  Nick says Sharon is a terrific person!  And he feels bad enough without her telling him it doesn’t matter!

 

Poor Whiskey Nick.  If he’d just listened to his mom about girls like Sharon.  His life would have turned out so differently!!  I’m throwing some rolled up socks at you, Nick!  Nikki tells him he’s been SO LOVED ever since he was born by so many people, and yes, by a lot of women.  Yes, he’s had pain, but he’s had a lot of joy, too.  Has he forgotten that?  In this cabin, with his whiskey and that dog?

 

FLASHBACK!  He shows Avery The Underground and her dumb reserved booth.  It’s all so perfect!

 

FLASHBACK!  He and Phyllis talk about how their tawdry relationship is based on sex.  But he likes having her around even with her clothes on.

 

FLASHBACK!  Sharon is listing all the reasons she kisses his ass and loves him so much.  The MAIN reason why is the way he treats other people.  “Me, and Noah, and Faith,” she specifies.  “We’re a family,” he says.

 

Whiskey Nick admits there’s been some good times.  “Only some?” asks Nikki.  Nick’s like, you’ve hated half the women I’ve been with, why are you taking their side now?  She’s on baby Nick’s side, she wants him to find lasting love!  Oh, like the kind she has with Dad?  Nikki says if he doesn’t look for love, it will never come.  That works for him!  Every relationship he’s ever had crashed and burned!  Every relationship, questions Nikki.  He hears kids playing outside.  “Go on,” says Nikki.

 

He walks outside and Faith and stupid Summer are playing tag.  He joins in.  Blah blah blah.  Faith wants to play wedding next, and she’ll be the bride!  “I’m going to marry a man just like Daddy!”  God, I hope not.  They hug.  More playing. 

 

Thank God, Mariah arrives.  “Oh, look at this, all warm and fuzzy.  I think I’m going to hurl.”  Nick’s excited to see her.  “You’re here!”  Um, it’s your hallucination, dope.  Faith says the family is all together!  “Is that right, Nick, is the family all together?”  He says she’s Cassie’s sister, she’ll always be family.  So why isn’t she there?  Because Cassie deserves to rest in peace, and he’s not going to hallucinate her.  Cassie finally gets a break. 

 

“Amen to that,” says Mariah.  “And if you’re serious about the whole no women thing, rock on!  Getting serious is for starry-eyed idiots.  Oh, sorry, Summer, I didn’t see you there.”  LOL  Summer insists to Faith that life is ALL about finding love, since she and Faith are the same emotional age.  Mariah sounds like the Dread Pirate Roberts.  Love is pain, princess.  Always, no exceptions.  Summer says pain happens, but so does happiness.  Nick says sometimes one more than the other.

 

OMG, SUMMER IS DEVASTATED!  Her voice quavers.  “We have to fight to find love.  Right?  We have to be brave and have faith?  That’s what you always taught us.  Were you lying, are you just going to take back everything that you said??”  I’d hate to be there when Faith tells her Santa Claus isn’t real.

 

They all stare him down.  He says it’s getting late, they need to head back to the cabin.  “Snowflake asked you a question,” says Mariah, “or can’t you walk and talk, Nick?”  He says honestly, it is a little hard right now.  “Go ahead!  Tell Summer how love is a lie, and marriage is a load.  Make her crumple into little, dried flecks of hairspray.”  Faith says she’s being mean.  And it’s AWESOME.

 

Summer insists that her father DOES believe in love, Mariah.  “Sweetheart, it’s not that simple.”  “You believe in love,” whines Summer, “I know that you do.”  All the women are outside now.  “He does, I think,” says Amy.  Lots and lots of it.  “He USED to, until YOU harpies got a hold of him,” says Grace. 

 

“Is that true, Nick?” asks Phyllis, “no more women?”  Avery says he’s talking about a lifetime of solitary confinement.  “Isn’t that safer for everyone?” asks Nick.  Phyllis says she was alone in her head for a year.  She wouldn’t wish that shit on anyone.  Amy thinks it would be so sad after all this, to just give up.  Omg, right??  It would be SO SAD for Nick to be alone.  

 

Faith says her daddy is not a quitter!  Nick says he’s had several shots, and none of them worked out.  “So you take another chance,” says Avery.  That’s how she got Dylan.  And how Phyllis got Jack.  Grace is STILL single, y’all.  These tricks make Mariah sick.  “If you have given up on love, own your truth!”  Nick knows Mariah hasn’t seen a lot of love in her life.  “But she did when she was with us!” says Sharon.  Nick explains that love bends, and changes, and sometimes it breaks, but it’s REAL.  It exists!  And he wants that for all of them.  But he’s done.  He’s gotta walk away.

 

Summer doesn’t want Dad to be alone!!!  Faith says it would be terrible!  WAAAHH!!  Nick tells Faith he’ll always have her.  “You could have more,” says Sharon.  “Not with you!” says Nick.  Summer says that doesn’t mean he won’t love someone else.  Sweetheart, it would take an act of God, or a cataclysmic event, or getting hit by lightning or something.   A sign.  Well, I hear Chuck Pratt’s coming to town, so watch out.

 

Summer/Lloyd Christmas is like, so, you’re saying there’s a chance.  He can’t shut himself off completely.  He isn’t.  He has his children and his family.  You think he WANTS to do this?  He loves women.  ALL the women.  But the pain and agony that comes with it, he’s done!!  They all advance on him, surrounding him, stroking him, telling him to take a chance.  OMG, THIS IS IT!  This is when they kill the Harvest King!  AAAAHHH!!!!

 

Nick wakes up with a start.  Ugh, the room is spinning.  That was some crazy cough syrup.  He decides to help the dog find its home, because humans are better at that than dogs.  They’re walking through the woods with a flashlight, when CLAMP!!  AAAAAHHHH, UGGGH, OMGGGG!  Nick’s been caught in a bear trap!!  So this had a happy ending after all.

[movinon]

 

Kelly is JUST the person she wanted to see!  Did Jack tell her?  They’re getting married!  She holds up her engagement ring with a giant, fake smile.  Cold.  Kelly looks like someone pantsed her right on the playground.

Poor stupid Jack - I'm not sure why I love him.  My grandson and his wife are gone, so I just had to check the recaps - I have been waiting for this one.  The entire description of this event just cracked me up - Phyllis is so mean and Kelly is even dumber than Jack.  I can't stop snickering at the quote.  Thanks so much, Peach - you're always a winner.

Edited November 29, 2014 by movinon

[Slowpokey]

Tue, Nov 26   Nobody Expects The Spanish Inquisition

 

Manly man Nick chops wood outside his cabin.  He’s really mad, you guys, he’s chopping it really hard!!  Uh-oh, he pulls a pint of whiskey out of his back pocket.  This is getting serious.  Actually, this is like a regular weekend in my family. 

 

FLASHBACK!  Oh, this is the time Nick accused Sharon of doing every single damn thing he thought he did first.  Sharon’s telling Nick there will always be an Us.  “Sharon, you STOLE my child from me.  How many times did you watch me cry?  Blah Waah Blah.  “But if they could forgive YOU for that, then you could forgive me for THIS.”  WRONG.   “You broke my daughter’s heart.”

 

Back to the whiskey.  CHOP! CHOP! CHOP! CHOP!  He drains the bottle!  He’s in a whiskey fueled sweat.

 

FLASHBACK!  Sharon’s weeping that she’s sorry, she’s so sorry!

 

Nick stumbles around with his axe, which seems a little dangerous, but it’s better than a chainsaw, I guess.  He stacks some wood.

 

FLASHBACK!  He’s telling Sharon in the park that he doesn’t want to be around her!  Sharon’s calling, Please!  PLEASE!!

 

Nick grabs an armload of wood and heads for the cabin.  OMG, he hears rustling in the woods!   Woods do tend to rustle, but he looks pretty freaked out.  Paranoia.  Aww, it’s just that Bugatti.  Nick is so relieved, he thought it was a bear!  “Don’t you know you’re not supposed to sneak up on some miserable drunk with an axe nearby?”  Well, it’s better than hanging out in that crummy castle with friggin’ Adam. 

 

“Are you lost?” he asks.  “Join the club.”  Nick could use the company, so he brings the dog in and gives him some water.  This is a hunter’s cabin, so he thinks there must be booze in it.  He finds some old, dusty bottle of something and wonders if alcohol can go bad.  Um…it’s aged.  This stuff seems pretty rank, but Nick’s already drunk so he doesn’t care.  It’s probably just Jaegermeister.  He sits on the floor and enjoys the peace and quiet.  It’s just men, being whiny babies, I mean, uh, MEN.  The best part about this cabin is there are no WOMEN.  Because women, my friend, are always the problem. 

 

Drunks making fires.  Always entertaining and risky.  I think he might be drinking cough syrup.  You know what a drunk’s fire always needs?  MORE WOOD!!  He goes out for more.   Blah, blah, women, amirite?  He goes back inside…and there is Amy.  “Hello, Nick.”

 

Nick is, naturally, very surprised.   She looks great!  Well, she wasn’t sure if he would recognize her, she’s changed, plus he’s hallucinating.  “We all have,” says Nick.  “Not you.”  Ouch.  He says he’s working on that.  IKR?  I mean, have you seen Twitter?  He better do SOMETHING.  So what has Amy been up to, besides appearing in cough syrup visions?  Oh, you know, just life.  But she thinks about him sometimes.  Does he ever think about her?  Sure, sometimes.  High school, the coffee house.  They joke about him being that cute, cocky asshole back from boarding school.  Amy wanted so much for him to like her.

 

FLASHBACK!  I can’t get enough of Baby Nick flashbacks, seriously.  Amy and Nick sit in the coffee house.  She takes his hand and says it’s time for her to show him how much she cares about his trust fund. 

 

“I REALLY liked you,” says Nick.  That’s just it.  He just liked her, but the problem was she LOVED him.  “You were my first, the one I will never forget.”   He’s sorry.  Amy’s sorry it didn’t last, but she’s not sorry they made love.

 

“Made love,” sneers another voice.  It’s Grace’s boobs.  “You make it sound so sweet,” she mocks.  “Like pink cotton candy.  Which can also make people sick to their stomach.  Maybe that’s why it didn’t work out.”  Nick scolds Grace to leave her alone.  Grace thinks that’s cute.  “Defending her honor…after taking her innocence and DUMPING her.”  Amy’s like, gross.  She doesn’t want GRACE defending her.  “Don’t put it like that,” says Amy. 

 

Nick tells Amy she was SO amazing, and beautiful, and sweet, and NICE.  Why didn’t he stay with her?  Think how differently his life could have turned out.  Hmm, you would have cheated on her instead of Sharon?  Grace is like, because you’re a man whore.  “I’m surprised crushing her tender, little heart didn’t keep you interested in her.  You DO like a needy damsel.  Maybe that’s why I was never a good fit.”  She climbs all over him so she can be a good fit right now.  NO, Nick already told her this isn’t happening.  He walks away.  “Oh, come on.  Whenever you and Sharon hit a rough patch, Grace was always there to kiss the boo boo.”  I make it a general rule to avoid people who refer to themselves in the third person.

 

FLASHBACK!  B cup Grace is climbing all over Nick 20 years ago, telling him she wishes there was something she could do to make it hurt less.   “Baby, you’re all tied up in knots.”  She’s here, Nick, she’s here for you.  Sexy times.

 

Nick blames Grace, of course.  “You always showed up when I didn’t have my head on straight.  Just like the other night at my bar, and like right now.”  Lucky you, says Grace.  “You chased me,” says Nick.  LOL  Nick tried so hard to get away he fell right on top of her.  “Sharon was your friend,” accuses Nick.  Interesting, since Sharon was your WIFE.    Amy’s like, hey!  “Sharon was my friend, too.  That didn’t stop you from leaving me to be with her.”  “He’s all torn up about it, clearly,” says Grace. 

 

Sharon and I, were… “She was just the true love of my life,” mocks Grace.  “The one that’s supposed to last forever,” reminds Amy.  “And yet, you were still able to enjoy MY charms,” says Grace.  Nick’s not saying it was right, or that it made sense, he’s just trying to explain.  “You mean make excuses,” says Grace.  “You were still willing to cheat on your beloved.  The question is why?”  Because it was easy, says Amy.  “I WAS easy, wasn’t I,” sighs Grace.  “And so were you,” she tells Amy, “even though you weren’t that up front about it.”  Amy sheepishly grins.  Ya got her there. 

 

Nick says be nice to Amy!  “Look, I DID like you.  Everyone did.  My MOM liked you!”  “She sure didn’t like Sharon,” says Grace.  Victor did, snarks Amy.  “Til they got married.  After that, not so much.  My dad will NEVER forgive Sharon burning down the ranch.”  Poor, innocent Victor.  “As much as he liked her then, he hates her even more now.”  Nick realizes that maybe that’s why he went back to her again.  Maybe he had to prove something to his dad.  That he was right, and Victor was wrong!  “That is not what it was,” says SHARON softly.  Everyone turns and stares at her.  “It wasn’t revenge.  It wasn’t payback.  It was just love.”

 

OMG, this is too much.  Nick stumbles outside.  He yells at Bugatti for being a terrible watchdog and letting all these hallucinations in.  And no, he’s not afraid of facing her, he just came to get some fresh air.  Things are a little trippier than usual for him tonight!  It’s like they’re really in there!  And he’s getting annoyed because not one of them is taking the blame for any of the stuff THEY PULLED ON HIM OVER THE YEARS!  Nick feels like an innocent bystander getting hit by friendly fire everywhere!  Did someone say friendly fire?  He hears video game noises inside.  Ugh.

 

He goes back inside to find Phyllis feverishly playing a video game.  He’s in!  New Phyllis has so much more polish that this is way harder to believe now.  We’re subjected to this idiocy for a while, while she asks him WHAT he was doing with Amy and Grace.  Eww.  She says what a waste of time (word), because they got it all wrong.  “You, my friend, like a challenge.”  Nick’s like, oh, meaning you?  Yeah, what a challenge to get Phyllis in bed.  “You mean challenge, or pain in the ass?” he snarks, but he’s laughing. 

 

Blah blah, what they had was great for a while.  But it ended, so whose fault was it, Nick asks.  “Why does it have to be anyone’s fault, Nick?”  People only say that when it’s their fault.  “Why can’t it be that love just ends?  Or maybe it doesn’t.  Maybe love’s like a merry-go-round, and you just jump off and on when you want.”  Is she saying she wants him to jump back on her merry-go-round?  Phyllis asks if that’s what HE wants.  He looks away.  Yeah, that’s what she thought.  Oh, and their bad relationship was HIS fault. 

 

BAM!  Game over!  He can’t believe she let that troll rip out his heart.  “Watch what you call my sister.”  Lol  He would NEVER call her sister that.  Avery appears with an eerie, Stepford smile.  She knows Phyllis is just joking.  He jumps up.  “You’re not a troll,” he says.  You’re a bloodsucking leech.  “She’s all sunshine and cupcakes,” says Phyllis.  Avery admits her cupcakes are spectacular.  She has them mostly covered up today, though. 

 

“Face it, Nick, you weren’t all that in love with her.”  Nick says she’s WRONG!  He tells Avery he DID love her.  “Now you’re just sucking up to the woman who left you at the altar,” says Phyllis. “YOU cheated on him with Ronan,” retorts Avery.  Ya did, says Nick.  THAT was sex, says Phyllis.  Sister Dearest flat out fell in love with someone else.  Talk about humiliation.  Nick thinks she has a point.  Why didn’t Avery just cut him loose months before that?  Because sometimes you don’t know what you really feel til someone kidnaps a baby.  And you’re left standing on the precipice about to make the jump.  “You LEFT me on that precipice, in front of our friends and family, looking like a chump!”  Phyllis says she tries to love her, but Avery has layers, little layers of imperfection.  Like Shrek.

 

Nick’s like shut your pie hole, Phyllis.  SHE put him through hell repeatedly.  The least she could have done was not sleep with Ronan.  Well, Phyllis wishes that was one memory that could stay gone after the coma. But look at her and Avery now, they’re buddies.  Avery says no need to rehash the past.  “We’re cool,” says Phyllis.  “NO, we are NOT COOL!” says Nick.  “You hurt me.  You betrayed me, both of you!  And I have to go on pretending like it doesn’t bother me.  We have these polite conversations back and forth.  But I’ll tell you what, I was mad then, and I’m mad now!  And I want to get to the bottom of it but neither of you wants to!”

 

Phyllis is like, oh really.  They were cutting him a break, but if he wants to get down and dirty about who did what to whom, or what he did to Sharon?  Avery says he wasn’t exactly Saint Nicholas.  Not by a long shot.  “And you’re standing here, in righteous indignation.  I’m mad,” mocks Phyllis.  Too bad, because you have some things to answer for, Nick Newman, and now is the time.  She sits him down.  “So, what, I’m on trial now?”  Avery puts her glasses on.  Shit’s about to get real.  “Court is now in session.”

 

Nick faces down Phyllis, Amy, Grace, and Avery.  He says this is a crock!  Avery begins.  “Nicholas Newman, isn’t it true you recklessly endangered hearts with your careless declarations of love?  You loved’em and left’em, in fact, with NO signs of remorse, from your callow youth until the present.”  Nick says that’s not true!  There was remorse.  HOW MUCH?  Phyllis asks if he’s forgotten how much he hurt this poor woman, looking at Amy.

 

FLASHBACK!  Baby Nick and Amy are at the coffee house.  He really looks like Cillian Murphy.  He cares about Amy a lot, and he feels so bad. He can’t get Sharon out of his head, but, hey, can we still be friends?  No, Nick, she will never forgive you. 

 

Nick tells present day Whiskey Amy that he’s so sorry.   She didn’t deserve that.   Personally, I think Amy should be over her high school boyfriend.  “I gave you something special.  What if that happened to Summer?” she asks.  He’d kill the guy, period!  “What about what I deserved?” asks Grace.  A bus ticket back to Chicago?   Nick’s like, come on, you know we never had anything real.  They probably had real crabs.  She says it’s still nice to be asked. 

 

“But he couldn’t care about you,” says Phyllis, “because he was too busy obsessing about that delicate flower known as Sharon.”  That he was married to.  “Same reason he ditched you,” she says to Amy.  “Same reason he was all like ‘meh’ when Avery went back to Dylan.”  Phyllis makes terrible arguments.  “You let that little blonde get inside your head.  What a chump.”  Nick doesn’t want to do this.  “Ask him if he promised to love me!” says Phyllis.  Of course he did.  “Did you promise to love her FOREVER?” asks Avery while Phyllis gives him the evil alien glare. 

 

FLASHBACK!  Fake flashback of Nick and new Phyllis’ wedding vows, which are just gross considering they were breaking Nick and Sharon’s vows.  I mean, how could that not last forever and ever?  They specifically promise a lot of faithfulness, so that was amusing.

 

“Your promise?  Did you keep it?” asks cheater Avery.  “No,” whispers Phyllis for him.  “Well, did YOU?” says Nick.  “We could talk about Ronan again!”  “Who cheated FIRST?!  Let’s go there!”  Well, you and Nick cheated first, together.  NO!  It’s in the past, and Nick DOESN’T WANNA!  Waaah!!!  “Oh yeah, we’re going there,” says Phyllis.

 

FAKE FLASHBACK!  They have a fight because Nick was so dishonest cheating on Phyllis with his ex-wife.  He should at least have the guts to admit it, that he was still in love with Sharon while they were building their cheater life together, and having a child.  Etc.  She’s super alien pissed and crying.  She starts hitting him, and then turns around and falls apart.  JUST GO.

 

“We were over then, and we just didn’t know it,” says Whiskey Phyllis.  Does he have any remorse on that one?  Any regret?  Nick gets all worked up.  “Faith is in this world because of me and Sharon, just like Summer is because of you and me!  To say I regret that, I can’t!  Those two girls and Noah are the only good thing I’ve done in my life.  The only great thing!”  How is he supposed to procreate without cheating all the time?!  He’s so sorry that he hurt Phyllis, but he can’t regret those girls being in this world. 

 

“Is there anyone you haven’t cheated on?” asks Amy.  “Now you’re getting it, precious,” says Grace.  “It wasn’t just you.  He’s practically a professional!”  He’s not denying anything, he knows he’s caused a lot of damage.  “And yet you knowingly and repeatedly committed emotional polygamy!” says AVERY.  Nick’s like GMAFB, people are going to fall in love more than once in their lifetimes!  Avery says the point is he emotionally engages with more than one partner at a time.  “Like every time,” says Phyllis.  LIKE THEM.  Nick says this is not fair.  Avery’s in love with Dylan, and Phyllis is in love with Jack!  Grace announces she’s still single, but Amy says they know.  Everyone knows.

 

So is that it, is Nick convicted of being a jerk?!  Avery’s like, seriously? She hasn’t even called her star witness yet.  Sharon Collins Newman Newman Newman.

 

After the commercials, Nick is just sitting on a stump, drinking and listening to owls hoot.  Sharon is there.  Already, the chemistry between them puts all the cabin stuff to shame. “It’s beautiful out,” she says serenely.  It really is peaceful out here, says Nick.  “But not in there?” says Sharon.  Nick’s all choked up.  “I’ve made so many mistakes.  So many promises I haven’t kept.”  Sharon says it’s being human.  We fail, we struggle, but we try to do better.  Sometimes it works, sometimes…  “But it wasn’t just me.  It was the two of us, making those promises to each other.”

 

FLASHBACK!  Baby Nick is saying his vows to Baby Sharon.  Maybe he shouldn’t have promised to bring love to the lives of those they touch.

 

And we meant it, says Whiskey Sharon.  Every word.

 

FLASHBACK!  The crashed wedding.  Nick asks what’s the request.  “That you forgive me, not only for my past mistakes, but all the ones I’m sure to make between now and death do us part.”

 

“I mean, what the hell, Sharon?!  From the beginning, there were all these secrets, these things that you didn’t trust me with.  Matt Clark, and Cassie?  It’s like you didn’t have faith in me, in us.  And after that were more secrets and lies.  Diego..and Brad!”  Yeah, I remember Brad.  “It’s like you kept giving us reasons not to stay together.”  Sharon says it was fear, and shame.  She felt like she didn’t deserve him, later.  He says later was different, when they had this dance (Phyllis).  But from the beginning there were all these lies.  We get it, show, Nick has an entire episode to reflect on his mistakes, and it’s still all Sharon’s fault. No reason to go over the part where he fucked her and Noah over for Phyllis.  Poor, poor Nick.

 

Sharon was afraid he wouldn’t love her if he knew the truth.  That’s the thing, says Nick, it was like his JOB to love her.  It was like this test he had to pass.  Did he love her enough, did he protect her enough, did he forgive her enough??  WTF is he talking about?  That was all HIM!  I WILL LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANY LOVER HAS EVER LOVED LOVE!  Idiot.  But the baby is tired.  He can’t do it anymore.  He couldn’t fix her, he couldn’t heal her, and the truth is he probably never should have tried.  You know, this would be a much more moving conversation if he was having it with REAL Sharon.

 

“Nick, please don’t say that.”  Nick is all weepy and said he tried to convince himself that everything that happened to us would lead to them being together forever.  Right, YOU convinced YOURSELF.  “Instead it just led to you..devastating my kid.”  That might have been Jack’s.  “You said you would forgive me.”  Nick doesn’t know how a woman can rip a kid out of his life, and him out of hers.  How many years did he DEVOTE TO HER?!  Sweet, DEVOTED Nick.  Oh, the Newmanity. 

 

She sits with him.  She’s so sorry!!  HOW many times have they said that back and forth to each other?  It doesn’t change anything!  “It does.  It changes everything, if you let it.”  He can’t!  He can’t let sorry fix it this time.  He can’t be around her or talk to her.  He’ll never feel for her what he used to.  

 

Sharon says he can’t shut her out.  It doesn’t work, it never has.  Not for long.  Well, he’s gotta try.  He’s gotta keep his distance, or they’ll end up back in the same place.  Oh, so you WILL feel the way you used to.  Okay.  They’ll start talking about Faith, and be civil at school, and dinners, and holidays…and pretty soon she’ll be back in his life again.  He can’t let that happen.  “That’s because we forgive each other, Nick.  That’s who we are,” she whispers.   Not this time, baby.  He will never love her, OR ANY WOMAN…EVER AGAIN!  Waaahhh!!!!  He runs in the cabin.  Too bad Nick hasn’t realized that “always” and “never” are a big part of his problem.

 

Nikki’s sitting there.  “Any woman, sweetheart?”  Come to Momma.  WAAAHHH!!!!

 

We know this isn’t Real Nikki, because she doesn’t want any whiskey.  She makes him drink water.  “So, this is how you’re going to handle it, huh?   No emotion, just a lot of whiskey?”  He says that sounds like a country song he and Phyllis would have two-stepped to.  Is that a joke?  Did that really ever happen??  Nikki knows it’s agonizing, handing your heart to someone hoping they will take such good care of it.  But others just are careless or don’t know how.   Our hearts break so easily when we love so deeply.  And she did warn him about Sharon.  “There it is.  The I told you so.”  Well, she did. 

 

FLASHBACK!  Omg.  I know it was the 80’s, but Nikki looks like a trashy circus clown.  She also looks about the same age as Baby Nick.  WEIRD!  It’s another Sharon breakup, and Nikki thinks maybe it’s all for the best.  “Very often, girls like Sharon are more trouble than they’re worth,” says the KILLER CLOWN STRIPPER!  Nick says Sharon is a terrific person!  And he feels bad enough without her telling him it doesn’t matter!

 

Poor Whiskey Nick.  If he’d just listened to his mom about girls like Sharon.  His life would have turned out so differently!!  I’m throwing some rolled up socks at you, Nick!  Nikki tells him he’s been SO LOVED ever since he was born by so many people, and yes, by a lot of women.  Yes, he’s had pain, but he’s had a lot of joy, too.  Has he forgotten that?  In this cabin, with his whiskey and that dog?

 

FLASHBACK!  He shows Avery The Underground and her dumb reserved booth.  It’s all so perfect!

 

FLASHBACK!  He and Phyllis talk about how their tawdry relationship is based on sex.  But he likes having her around even with her clothes on.

 

FLASHBACK!  Sharon is listing all the reasons she kisses his ass and loves him so much.  The MAIN reason why is the way he treats other people.  “Me, and Noah, and Faith,” she specifies.  “We’re a family,” he says.

 

Whiskey Nick admits there’s been some good times.  “Only some?” asks Nikki.  Nick’s like, you’ve hated half the women I’ve been with, why are you taking their side now?  She’s on baby Nick’s side, she wants him to find lasting love!  Oh, like the kind she has with Dad?  Nikki says if he doesn’t look for love, it will never come.  That works for him!  Every relationship he’s ever had crashed and burned!  Every relationship, questions Nikki.  He hears kids playing outside.  “Go on,” says Nikki.

 

He walks outside and Faith and stupid Summer are playing tag.  He joins in.  Blah blah blah.  Faith wants to play wedding next, and she’ll be the bride!  “I’m going to marry a man just like Daddy!”  God, I hope not.  They hug.  More playing. 

 

Thank God, Mariah arrives.  “Oh, look at this, all warm and fuzzy.  I think I’m going to hurl.”  Nick’s excited to see her.  “You’re here!”  Um, it’s your hallucination, dope.  Faith says the family is all together!  “Is that right, Nick, is the family all together?”  He says she’s Cassie’s sister, she’ll always be family.  So why isn’t she there?  Because Cassie deserves to rest in peace, and he’s not going to hallucinate her.  Cassie finally gets a break. 

 

“Amen to that,” says Mariah.  “And if you’re serious about the whole no women thing, rock on!  Getting serious is for starry-eyed idiots.  Oh, sorry, Summer, I didn’t see you there.”  LOL  Summer insists to Faith that life is ALL about finding love, since she and Faith are the same emotional age.  Mariah sounds like the Dread Pirate Roberts.  Love is pain, princess.  Always, no exceptions.  Summer says pain happens, but so does happiness.  Nick says sometimes one more than the other.

 

OMG, SUMMER IS DEVASTATED!  Her voice quavers.  “We have to fight to find love.  Right?  We have to be brave and have faith?  That’s what you always taught us.  Were you lying, are you just going to take back everything that you said??”  I’d hate to be there when Faith tells her Santa Claus isn’t real.

 

They all stare him down.  He says it’s getting late, they need to head back to the cabin.  “Snowflake asked you a question,” says Mariah, “or can’t you walk and talk, Nick?”  He says honestly, it is a little hard right now.  “Go ahead!  Tell Summer how love is a lie, and marriage is a load.  Make her crumple into little, dried flecks of hairspray.”  Faith says she’s being mean.  And it’s AWESOME.

 

Summer insists that her father DOES believe in love, Mariah.  “Sweetheart, it’s not that simple.”  “You believe in love,” whines Summer, “I know that you do.”  All the women are outside now.  “He does, I think,” says Amy.  Lots and lots of it.  “He USED to, until YOU harpies got a hold of him,” says Grace. 

 

“Is that true, Nick?” asks Phyllis, “no more women?”  Avery says he’s talking about a lifetime of solitary confinement.  “Isn’t that safer for everyone?” asks Nick.  Phyllis says she was alone in her head for a year.  She wouldn’t wish that shit on anyone.  Amy thinks it would be so sad after all this, to just give up.  Omg, right??  It would be SO SAD for Nick to be alone.  

 

Faith says her daddy is not a quitter!  Nick says he’s had several shots, and none of them worked out.  “So you take another chance,” says Avery.  That’s how she got Dylan.  And how Phyllis got Jack.  Grace is STILL single, y’all.  These tricks make Mariah sick.  “If you have given up on love, own your truth!”  Nick knows Mariah hasn’t seen a lot of love in her life.  “But she did when she was with us!” says Sharon.  Nick explains that love bends, and changes, and sometimes it breaks, but it’s REAL.  It exists!  And he wants that for all of them.  But he’s done.  He’s gotta walk away.

 

Summer doesn’t want Dad to be alone!!!  Faith says it would be terrible!  WAAAHH!!  Nick tells Faith he’ll always have her.  “You could have more,” says Sharon.  “Not with you!” says Nick.  Summer says that doesn’t mean he won’t love someone else.  Sweetheart, it would take an act of God, or a cataclysmic event, or getting hit by lightning or something.   A sign.  Well, I hear Chuck Pratt’s coming to town, so watch out.

 

Summer/Lloyd Christmas is like, so, you’re saying there’s a chance.  He can’t shut himself off completely.  He isn’t.  He has his children and his family.  You think he WANTS to do this?  He loves women.  ALL the women.  But the pain and agony that comes with it, he’s done!!  They all advance on him, surrounding him, stroking him, telling him to take a chance.  OMG, THIS IS IT!  This is when they kill the Harvest King!  AAAAHHH!!!!

 

Nick wakes up with a start.  Ugh, the room is spinning.  That was some crazy cough syrup.  He decides to help the dog find its home, because humans are better at that than dogs.  They’re walking through the woods with a flashlight, when CLAMP!!  AAAAAHHHH, UGGGH, OMGGGG!  Nick’s been caught in a bear trap!!  So this had a happy ending after all.

Awesome Peach just like I knew it would be!  :)  

[movinon]

I copied and pasted this into a word document so I can make the print bigger because I am so OLD.  This is the one I have been waiting for ever since I heard the episode was happening.  I was going to pick a quote but it's totally impossible - the whole thing is hysterical, and the last line is the very best.  I want to read it again along with watching the show after my grandson leaves on Sunday  I will need something to laugh about, and this looks like my best shot.  Don't know what I did before I found this board - I live for these recaps.  Thanks!!!

[Slowpokey]

I copied and pasted this into a word document so I can make the print bigger because I am so OLD.  This is the one I have been waiting for ever since I heard the episode was happening.  I was going to pick a quote but it's totally impossible - the whole thing is hysterical, and the last line is the very best.  I want to read it again along with watching the show after my grandson leaves on Sunday  I will need something to laugh about, and this looks like my best shot.  Don't know what I did before I found this board - I live for these recaps.  Thanks!!!

I agree with you Movinon! This thread is always a must read and the first one I look at! Peach is so sweet to do this for us! (;

[Slowpokey]

Watching that episode and despite it being so dumb and totally Sharon bashing the fact just jumps out at me that out of all his women he and Sharon are a super natural fit.The others are just meh! I wish it was different and they could move them on and never revisit them but I know that is not going to happen.UGH! Come on writers hook her up with Sexy Joe for the time being. Dickweed can screw up Sage's life.I want Sharon to be so immersed in Joe's manly charms and hot bod she will just totally forget all about the Nasty Newman men! Although this Adam is not too bad on the eyes!!! LOL

[Petunia13]

Dread Pirate Roberts, was there a guy as debonair and handsome? I love that movie. Excellent recap, Peach !! There's not just one quotable line. Quote the whole thing.

About the previous you really laid out how clueless Kelly is. I mean wow she's so damn oblivious. When Billy told her he wanted a clean break and to stop contacting him Kelly agreed then she called him often and kept approaching him, when she knew Jack had a comatose fiancé and a shit load if baggage she fell head per heels in weeks, when she knew Jacks fiancé woke up Kelly assumed he not only dumped the already fiancé and former wife immediately but was going to pop the question to her on heels on that cold dumping, her mom is sketchy as fuck and Stitch has been acting wrongly accused and playing victim card for ages-wonder what's going in there, Stitchy and mum hate dead dad wonder if they have a reason???

She's SO fucking OBTUSE and stupid.

[NinjaPenguins]

The whole Nick Whiskey recap was so...so beautiful. It's impossible to pick out a best quote. This one tickled my fancy quite a bit though:

 

 

OMG, SUMMER IS DEVASTATED!  Her voice quavers.  “We have to fight to find love.  Right?  We have to be brave and have faith?  That’s what you always taught us.  Were you lying, are you just going to take back everything that you said??”  I’d hate to be there when Faith tells her Santa Claus isn’t real.

The hamsters in the wheel powering Summer's brain are totally sniffing glue.

[miamama]

Personally, I think Amy should be over her high school boyfriend.

This was the lamest part of the episode. So he was not into this girl in high school. Big deal. She chose to sleep with him; he didn't rape her. I would have worked very hard to get Maura West in this episode as Diane. That would have showed what an ASSHOLE he was for bagging his dad's latest wife. But since the purpose of the episode was to show what a sad HERO Nick is, that wouldn't make sense.

It read to me like the show is going to put Shick through the ringer but that's the end game. Didn't every woman basically confirm it was always about Sharon with him? That's why it never worked with anyone else.

I never liked Nick but I didn't mid him. I just can't stand him now. I simply cannot watch his scenes. Any charm or lightness he had is gone for me. I don't know. Does this matter to the show? Do I speak for many? Having him in a bear trap and seriously wounded is not going to endear him to me. Especially because Sage will fawn all over him.

Peach: I couldn't watch this episode so thanks for taking one for the team. Again. :)

Edited November 29, 2014 by miamama

[Slowpokey]

This was the lamest part of the episode. So he was not into this girl in high school. Big deal. She chose to sleep with him; he didn't rape her. I would have worked very hard to get Maura West in this episode as Diane. That would have showed what an ASSHOLE he was for bagging his dad's latest wife. But since the purpose of the episode was to show what a sad HERO Nick is, that wouldn't make sense.

 

It read to me like the show is going to put Shick through the ringer but that's the end game. Didn't every woman basically confirm it was always about Sharon with him? That's why it never worked with anyone else. 

 

I never liked Nick but I didn't mid him. I just can't stand him now. I simply cannot watch his scenes. Any charm or lightness he had is gone for me. I don't know. Does this matter to the show? Do I speak for many? Having him in a bear trap and seriously wounded is not going to endear me to him. Especially because Sage will fawn all over him.

 

Peach: I couldn't watch this episode so thanks for taking one for the team. Again. :)

So true about Amy.While I always liked her she was never really embedded with Nick that much, just a high school fling. That was all over once he  spotted Sharon. It was nice to see her and she looks great. It would have made much more sense to put Diane in the mix but like you said it would have shown an ugly side of Nick and that is something they will never allow to happen to the character or JM. Have to protect his good guy image! I would have loved the fireworks between her and Phyllis though! lol

Yeah it's always been about Sharon and Shick is end game.

[crosby777]

I really don't think Pratt writes much happily ever after and no couple is end game with his style of writing.

[MollyB]

 

emotional polygamy!

This is a freaking crime now?

This has to be the best re-cap ever.  I have laughed so hard that I burned up all the gazillion calories I crammed down Thursday.  Thank you, Peach!

[Joimiaroxeu]

This was the lamest part of the episode. So he was not into this girl in high school. Big deal. She chose to sleep with him; he didn't rape her. I would have worked very hard to get Maura West in this episode as Diane. That would have showed what an ASSHOLE he was for bagging his dad's latest wife. But since the purpose of the episode was to show what a sad HERO Nick is, that wouldn't make sense.

IIRC, didn't Nick sleep with Diane before Victor married her the second time? I thought Victor married her again in order to pull her away from Nick. He dangled some jewelry and new clothes in front of her and she didn't give Nick much of a second thought until Victor was clearly--and literally--throwing her out. (Which is why it was such a bizarre moment later when she basically sold Kyle to Victor even though Jack--his father--was still alive and in his life.)

 

As far as Amy is concerned, I wasn't watching when that happened but the impression I got during Nick's special episode is that she was to show part of a developing pattern with him. He'd seduce one woman and once he had her, he'd feel comfortable keeping her in a holding pattern while he went after someone else. Then he'd dump her or she'd dump him but either way, he'd comfortably move on with the new person while the original woman/girl was left wondering WTF happened. His experience with Diane didn't fit pattern mainly because Victor stepped in and "overruled" him.

 

I really don't think Pratt writes much happily ever after and no couple is end game with his style of writing.

Yep, he's like the Michael Bay of soaps. He just likes to blow shite up in as insane ways as possible. Y'all are not going to believe the fcukery that will transpire under Pratt's reign of terror.

Edited November 29, 2014 by Joimiaroxeu

[miamama]

IIRC, didn't Nick sleep with Diane before Victor married her the second time? I thought Victor married her again in order to pull her away from Nick. He dangled some jewelry and new clothes in front of her and she didn't give Nick much of a second thought until Victor was clearly--and literally--throwing her out.

 

You are probably right. I was hardly watching then and had no Peach recaps. :) But I got the distinct sense Diane was, shall we say, not "respected" by Nick. 

 

As for Amy, I really struggle with holding high school relationships against people. Even Nick. I got the feeling she was on because the actress was available and it was a nice throwback for long term viewers. Which is fine. But I'd rather see proof of what a douche Nick is. But the show isn't interested in that. If they were, the whole episode would have been about the aftermath of Cassie's death and how Nick became emotionally unavailable and enraged and then how he abandoned his grieving wife for video games and sex and then set up house with his mistress and a child that may not have been his.

[peach]

.It read to me like the show is going to put Shick through the ringer but that's the end game. Didn't every woman basically confirm it was always about Sharon with him? That's why it never worked with anyone else.

I never liked Nick but I didn't mid him. I just can't stand him now. I simply cannot watch his scenes. Any charm or lightness he had is gone for me. I don't know. Does this matter to the show? Do I speak for many? Having him in a bear trap and seriously wounded is not going to endear him to me. Especially because Sage will fawn all over him.

 

I guess it might seem like "it was always about Sharon," but it came off to me like he thinks Sharon ruined his life.  And like poor Phyllis has always been the victim of his love for Sharon.  The second half was just ridiculous.  Or maybe I'm just looking for some kind of continuity and logic where there is none.  All the other whiskey women gave him a hard time, but it was Whiskey Sharon that loved and comforted him, and of course, kept apologizing while he blamed their entire lives on her, instead of acknowledging that he pretty much destroyed her character ever since he left her for Phyllis when Cassie died.  But not one word of condemnation from her.  Just once, I'd like to see her rip him a new asshole. 

 

I think the bear trap is going to be his "sign" from God that Sage is his next victim, probably just so there can be a competition for her with Adam.

Edited November 29, 2014 by peach

[crosby777]

 

I guess it might seem like "it was always about Sharon," but it came off to me like he thinks Sharon ruined his life.  And like poor Phyllis has always been the victim of his love for Sharon.  The second half was just ridiculous.  Or maybe I'm just looking for some kind of continuity and logic where there is none.  All the other whiskey women gave him a hard time, but it was Whiskey Sharon that loved and comforted him, and of course, kept apologizing while he blamed their entire lives on her, instead of acknowledging that he pretty much destroyed her character ever since he left her for Phyllis when Cassie died.  But not one word of condemnation from her.  Just once, I'd like to see her rip him a new asshole.

Hey.. we agree!!! This is why I never understood the shick appeal. Nick has always been a douchebag. His family has treated Sharon like shit for years and she just laps it up. Apologizes and begs to be back in their good graces. SICKENING.

 

 That was part of why I totally saw the appeal of Shadam.. even tho the kidnapping of her baby was hard to get past. Adam treated her like she mattered. Like her opinion mattered and that he actually liked her. At first. Then he started treating her like Nick always did.  Used her and abused her and instead of her telling them all to go fuck them selves she would beg for more.

[Canadian]

The same could be said about the phick appeal, Nick was just as nasty to phyllis as he ever was to Sharon...and his family have been nasty to Phyllis as well..both Phyllis and Sharon has done their share of begging the douchbag...the common denominator in all of that is Nick..both those women are better off far away from him...but there are still fans of both couples who would love to see them reunite and that is their right to do so..

[NinjaPenguins]

 

I can picture him in the "Frankenstein Place", talking to "Gabriel" about how bad his brother Adam was, while steam is coming out of "Gabriel's" ears.

I could be entertained by this. Even better, "Gabriel" commiserates with Nick by complaining about his old friend, an obtuse dudebro who uses women like kleenex and thinks his own diamond-embellished dumps smell like cake and flowers. Nick, being a throwback who peels fruit with his toes, won't realize that "Gabriel" is talking about him.

 

 

You are probably right. I was hardly watching then and had no Peach recaps. :) But I got the distinct sense Diane was, shall we say, not "respected" by Nick.

I don't want to remember a time when there were no Peach recaps (peachcaps?)! And, yeah, Nick just plain doesn't respect women. I was annoyed at all the ladies telling him not to give up on love, because all of womankind has had enough of Nick's so-called love. Genoa City is sticky with the stuff.

[miamama]

I guess it might seem like "it was always about Sharon," but it came off to me like he thinks Sharon ruined his life.  And like poor Phyllis has always been the victim of his love for Sharon.  The second half was just ridiculous.  Or maybe I'm just looking for some kind of continuity and logic where there is none.

 

I'll defer to your perception because I didn't see it. I just cannot believe the writers truly believe that Nick is the victim and Sharon is the heavy. So I want to believe he's in utter denial. Soon enough I will be disabused of this because the show will have Saint Nick the Hero fall in love with Sage, who will come to GC to trash Sharon on behalf of poor widdle hewo Nick.

[peacheslatour]

I'll defer to your perception because I didn't see it. I just cannot believe the writers truly believe that Nick is the victim and Sharon is the heavy. So I want to believe he's in utter denial. Soon enough I will be disabused of this because the show will have Saint Nick the Hero fall in love with Sage, who will come to GC to trash Sharon on behalf of poor widdle hewo Nick.

Then it's got to be Sharon and Joe.  Please writers, throw us a bone and have them flaunt their EPIC LOVE in Dickolas's face.

 

Peachcaps!! I love it!  She keeps me from losing my mind watching this crap.

[valleycliffe]

instead of acknowledging that he pretty much destroyed her character ever since he left her for Phyllis when Cassie died.  But not one word of condemnation from her.  Just once, I'd like to see her rip him a new asshole.

 

well peach, IMO, her retribution will be during the custody case when her lawyer pitbull Sherman rips him apart on the witness stand.

I don't think dickolas will stand a chance but of course cupcakes will defend his honour and object.  hopefully, she gets overruled.  won't matter in the least how low cut and how much her girls hang out.