Four Weddings - General Discussion

[gonecrackers]

1 hour ago, cpcathy said:

I don't know why ANYONE would get married before age 30, at the least!

Having married young myself, I concur completely!

[Mrs. Hanson]

1 hour ago, gonecrackers said:

Having married young myself, I concur completely!

My hubby said he made a rule to not get married until age 30.  He probably never thought he would be 52 when he finally got married!  LOL!

 

3 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

The 18yo groom was excited to move out of his parents house- "no rules!"  Um, society has rules dude.  They seemed way too young.

Exactly.  Society has rules, Mr. Man.  He probably thinks it will be non stop coitus and video games.  There is this thing called employment and bills.

[cpcathy]

Oh my god, if only our marriages were nonstop coitus and video games! Sounds pretty easy!

[Mrs. Hanson]

20 hours ago, cpcathy said:

Oh my god, if only our marriages were nonstop coitus and video games! Sounds pretty easy!

Well they are 18 and 19 so.....that is probably what they think marriage is!!

[Kiddvideo]

On 1/10/2018 at 12:20 PM, chabelisaywow said:

Amber and Cesar (the Hawaiian Wedding) are friends of friends and are featured in the "and a giraffe.." AKA B-L-A-N episode. 

Please please please tell me you have more details about Blan Bride! She is a unanimous, first ballot Hall of Famer here yet she has zero internet presence that I can find. I don't mean stalkery-type info, but is she really that dumb? Is she really that mean? How did she react to the episode and her last place finish? Most of all...did she really not know how to spell "bland"?!?

[Mrs. Hanson]

12 hours ago, Kiddvideo said:

Please please please tell me you have more details about Blan Bride! She is a unanimous, first ballot Hall of Famer here yet she has zero internet presence that I can find. I don't mean stalkery-type info, but is she really that dumb? Is she really that mean? How did she react to the episode and her last place finish? Most of all...did she really not know how to spell "bland"?!?

I am ashamed to admit I might buy the BLAN bride on youtube to watch it.  (Hangs head in shame.......)

[Mrs. Hanson]

Okay, someone please tell me they know the rankings of "And Musical Chairs" that was on today - I had to leave for an RX appt!  It had Alana, Kati, Editza and Kara.  Alana was Gold Digger times 10 and I hope she had an epic fail!!  Her theme was Tiffany Blue and her reception was on a yacht.  I liked Kati, she was 39 and a second time bride.  Editza and Tara were sweet, too.  Tara was marrying a man who had Japanese ancenstry  yet their wedding was very Native American - really cool!   In the promos Alana was coming off as very snotty and they saved her for last.....not always a good sign.

Please - can anyone tell me?  I have scoured the internet.....no luck.  (Geez this is how I spend time off from work with an Rx appt!!  LOLOL!)

[gonecrackers]

Was that the one with the young couple - dancers?  I can't recall who won; I thought the younger, dance bride came in last but could be wrong.

[Kiddvideo]

On 3/26/2018 at 3:20 PM, Mrs. Hanson said:

Okay, someone please tell me they know the rankings of "And Musical Chairs" that was on today

Found it! (I downloaded the TLC app and it was free since I have one of their cable partners.)

Kati and Tara tied, but Kati had the higher overall experience score so she won the trip to a private resort island in St. Vincent and the Grenadines.

[Mrs. Hanson]

11 hours ago, Kiddvideo said:

Found it! (I downloaded the TLC app and it was free since I have one of their cable partners.)

Kati and Tara tied, but Kati had the higher overall experience score so she won the trip to a private resort island in St. Vincent and the Grenadines.

Wow!!  Thank you so much!  I love that Kati came in first, or at least tied with Tara.  Tara was chill - I liked her.  So glad gold digging Alana came in last.  Again, money can't buy good taste.

[Kiddvideo]

9 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Wow!!  Thank you so much!  I love that Kati came in first, or at least tied with Tara.  Tara was chill - I liked her.  So glad gold digging Alana came in last.  Again, money can't buy good taste.

My pleasure! I'm really excited about it -- the app has all 10 seasons and there are so many episodes I haven't seen. The brides who ordered pizza? I look for it every marathon, never had the chance watch it. I'm just hoping they have the Canadian brides!

[Mrs. Hanson]

On 3/28/2018 at 7:02 PM, Kiddvideo said:

My pleasure! I'm really excited about it -- the app has all 10 seasons and there are so many episodes I haven't seen. The brides who ordered pizza? I look for it every marathon, never had the chance watch it. I'm just hoping they have the Canadian brides!

The brides who ordered pizza:  I can tell you it was set in NYC if that helps.  The bride who wore a handmade dress....I have no words.  Ill fitting, not attractive, just.....bad.  Cold pizza and warm soda, it was a disaster.  When I was still engaged I was on some wedding boards.  The amount of women who had the battle cry of "It is MY day!!!  My family will love me no matter WHAT!" were plentiful.  I think these brides were of the same school of thought:  "Well let's serve cold pizza and warm soda - no one will care!"  Yes we will.  Look, I would love a pizza buffet for wedding food.  Just serve it warm with maybe some salad and a COLD soda with it.  Put a little spiced rum in that Diet Coke and we are really talking.

[cpcathy]

Ugh, huge pet peeve of mine, the battle cry of, "No one cares about dinner." I ACTUALLY heard that from a girl whose wedding I was in. She had appetizers instead of a dinner. It's a way to cheap out on your guests. They DO care. They are hungry, they bought a gift, they dressed up, they drove somewhere, they parked, they walked to your crazy venue and then drove to your reception because it wasn't in the same place. They want booze and food. That's it. Give them booze and food.

[Mrs. Hanson]

5 hours ago, cpcathy said:

Ugh, huge pet peeve of mine, the battle cry of, "No one cares about dinner." I ACTUALLY heard that from a girl whose wedding I was in. She had appetizers instead of a dinner. It's a way to cheap out on your guests. They DO care. They are hungry, they bought a gift, they dressed up, they drove somewhere, they parked, they walked to your crazy venue and then drove to your reception because it wasn't in the same place. They want booze and food. That's it. Give them booze and food.

Bolding mine:  Come sit with me.  I don't want a photobooth, favors, entertainment, a drawing of myself, a trivia game....I want booze and food.  That is it!!  And thank me for coming and we are cool.  

Yep - I agree 100%.  People care A LOT about dinner.  Again, from my wedding boards experience last fall: A lot (and I do mean A LOT) of girls were of the following mindset: "What do you mean I can't serve a few light appetizers, punch and coffee and call it a day?"  No, not when your wedding is at 6m you can't.  You can't do that, charge for drinks at a bar, have a dollar dance and be shocked that people 1) leave early to I don't know....EAT and 2) get pissed that you are too cheap to put on a spread.  

When other posters would gently say, "Look, you need to up your game" it was met with:  "You are all HATERS!  My family loves me!  IT IS MY DAY!"  Yes it is your day but that does not give you the right to not host your guests.

See, I should be a wedding planner!!!  LOL!  Give the people what they want:  A short ceremony, a comfy chair, booze and food.  Good music helps, too!

[Pepper Mostly]

Wow. I had a very casual, outdoor wedding at 4 PM on a Saturday, at my parents' house. I wanted a cocktail party kind of feel so people would have drinks and snacks, and be able to go home or out to dinner or something after. We had lovely passed hors d'oeuvres and snacks, lots and lots of booze, and everyone had a ball. I never thought a full, sit down meal was required. Good thing, because we couldn't afford it.

[Mrs. Hanson]

4 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Wow. I had a very casual, outdoor wedding at 4 PM on a Saturday, at my parents' house. I wanted a cocktail party kind of feel so people would have drinks and snacks, and be able to go home or out to dinner or something after. We had lovely passed hors d'oeuvres and snacks, lots and lots of booze, and everyone had a ball. I never thought a full, sit down meal was required. Good thing, because we couldn't afford it.

See, a 4pm wedding in a backyard, i would expect a more casual vibe and it is still too early for dinner.  It is the 6pm wedding that dinner is an expectation. Passed apps amd booze?  Hell yes.  6pm then offer us mints, nuts and charge for a jack and coke?  No.

[Mrs. Hanson]

BLAN Bride was on!!  5am, I could not sleep and the TLC gods delivered!  A 3?  A 4?  Clearly she had a strategy, clearly it backfired and she looked like a fool.  Liked the other brides, though, very nice weddings for the other three.

And she can't spell.  The other brides were so sweet!!  

"The food was good but....she could have provided floss!!"  Shut. It.

Edited April 23, 2018 by Mrs. Hanson

[PamelaMaeSnap]

SQUEEEEE for re-finding this thread AND learning about the app! I recorded about 10 older episodes just to get back in the swing and am down to a handful so now I know where to go for old fun and schadenfreude and ... well, maybe a few ideas to stick in my back pocket, not to mention getting a SLIGHT idea of costs since the Snappy family may be footing (part of, at least) the bill for a wedding in the next year or so ... fortunately, I can say with some certainty that the bride is pretty low maintenance and I suspect would be mortified at much of the over-the-top stuff I devour on the show. (Open bar, good music, great food will be the three priorities which is fine with me ... maybe maybe maybe I'll get a tiny bit of input or at least get to tag along for bridal outfit -- I don't say "gown" because it would not surprise me if it turned out to be "bridal jumpsuit.")

Waving hi to old friends! I think I was still JazzieCazzie when we started following along with this back on TWoP. 

[Mrs. Hanson]

36 minutes ago, PamelaMaeSnap said:

SQUEEEEE for re-finding this thread AND learning about the app! I recorded about 10 older episodes just to get back in the swing and am down to a handful so now I know where to go for old fun and schadenfreude and ... well, maybe a few ideas to stick in my back pocket, not to mention getting a SLIGHT idea of costs since the Snappy family may be footing (part of, at least) the bill for a wedding in the next year or so ... fortunately, I can say with some certainty that the bride is pretty low maintenance and I suspect would be mortified at much of the over-the-top stuff I devour on the show. (Open bar, good music, great food will be the three priorities which is fine with me ... maybe maybe maybe I'll get a tiny bit of input or at least get to tag along for bridal outfit -- I don't say "gown" because it would not surprise me if it turned out to be "bridal jumpsuit.")

Waving hi to old friends! I think I was still JazzieCazzie when we started following along with this back on TWoP. 

Bolding mine:  that will be good with everyone!!!  

[PamelaMaeSnap]

Well, it definitely won't be one-liter bottles of (blurred Coca-Cola) and (blurred 7Up) and boxes of cold pizza (still gobsmacked that the bride who kept gushing about how HER wedding would put all the others to shame served that! I think she may have racked up the lowest score I've ever seen on the show ... if the lowest possible score is a 30 (with 9s for food, gown and venue and then 1s for experience), I think she had in the low 30s. 

[Beaner]

2 hours ago, PamelaMaeSnap said:

Well, it definitely won't be one-liter bottles of (blurred Coca-Cola) and (blurred 7Up) and boxes of cold pizza (still gobsmacked that the bride who kept gushing about how HER wedding would put all the others to shame served that! I think she may have racked up the lowest score I've ever seen on the show ... if the lowest possible score is a 30 (with 9s for food, gown and venue and then 1s for experience), I think she had in the low 30s. 

I wish the producers of Four Weddings would put out an episode of the all-time worst weddings/hall of shame/delusional brides.  What was she thinking????  She'd be at the top of the list...if that's any consolation to her...and somehow I think she'd be ok with that :):):)

[Mrs. Hanson]

14 hours ago, PamelaMaeSnap said:

Well, it definitely won't be one-liter bottles of (blurred Coca-Cola) and (blurred 7Up) and boxes of cold pizza (still gobsmacked that the bride who kept gushing about how HER wedding would put all the others to shame served that! I think she may have racked up the lowest score I've ever seen on the show ... if the lowest possible score is a 30 (with 9s for food, gown and venue and then 1s for experience), I think she had in the low 30s. 

PamelaMaeSnap I bet the wedding you are planning will be low key and wonderful, no Bridezilla type stuff.

Per the Warm Soda/Pizza/Bad Dress Bride - I still can't believe someone did not stop her and say "Look, girl, I know that dress was made by a friend but it looks like a dress that was made by a friend."

11 hours ago, Beaner said:

I wish the producers of Four Weddings would put out an episode of the all-time worst weddings/hall of shame/delusional brides.  What was she thinking????  She'd be at the top of the list...if that's any consolation to her...and somehow I think she'd be ok with that :):):)

Me too!!  Producers tell all!!!

[cpcathy]

I would love an All Time Worst, but they wouldn't be able to snark like the people who watch the show, someone needs to do a brutally honest Youtube retrospective!

[Lesia]

I want to know who is still together after all these years, and who got divorced. 

"Four Divorces"

"Four Dissolutions of Marriage"

That would be fun, no?

[cpcathy]

I would LIVE for that!

[PamelaMaeSnap]

I just set the DVR to record what I THINK are all of (or most of? Or at least a LOT of) episodes from this new season in the next few days so since my daughter is 3000 miles away (and will actually be on the other side of the world on Mother's Day so I don't expect a call) I plan on treating myself to a weekend-long Mother's Day binge and that will absolutely be my highlight. Already bought a pint of ice cream and a bottle of gluggable wine. 

Then I can come back and weigh in on old vs. new etc.!

[Spunkygal]

32 minutes ago, PamelaMaeSnap said:

I just set the DVR to record what I THINK are all of (or most of? Or at least a LOT of) episodes from this new season in the next few days so since my daughter is 3000 miles away (and will actually be on the other side of the world on Mother's Day so I don't expect a call) I plan on treating myself to a weekend-long Mother's Day binge and that will absolutely be my highlight. Already bought a pint of ice cream and a bottle of gluggable wine. 

Then I can come back and weigh in on old vs. new etc.!

I don't see the new season on my DVR. Did I miss the new season? In searching for new seasons, my DVR shows season 5 as the most recent, but it isn't new. 

[cpcathy]

The new season, which is supposed to be all girls who already know each other, does not begin until June.

[Spunkygal]

11 minutes ago, cpcathy said:

The new season, which is supposed to be all girls who already know each other, does not begin until June.

Thank you!

BTW, yesterday I saw Dr. Adam, the winning groom in the "teaser" new episode that we got a month ago. He said they go on their trip to Bali in October. He said, of course, they pay taxes on it but everything is covered. He said it is to a swanky resort on a private island. He said one of the couples lives out of state now but they do socialize with the other two couples. You may recall that I mentioned that his brother has a well known c&w group and that he did perform the first song but it was cut out of the episode. Bummer. 

[Mrs. Hanson]

4 hours ago, Lesia said:

I want to know who is still together after all these years, and who got divorced. 

"Four Divorces"

"Four Dissolutions of Marriage"

That would be fun, no?

"Four couples get together and discuss what went wrong in their marriages and judge each other's divorce papers."

Is there really a marathon on Mother's Day?  ROCK ON!

[PamelaMaeSnap]

You guys were right ... the names were all "new to me" but now that I could see full info (which wasn't visible when I was hitting the little orange R button) they all seem to be jumbled from 2010 through 2013. S5 is available on demand but for some reason we're having issues with our "on demand" and I have no idea how to fix it so have to wait for hubby to be home and actually have a reason of his own to want to fix it LOL. 

ETA: The rerun I saw last night was where there was definitely IMHO a shocker winner ... the Orthodox Jewish couple with the Moroccan theme and the belly dancing (I am convinced that for all the emphasis put on ways the others can't "downvote their competition," the other three brides all thought she was the obvious loser and so each one put her first as a way to downgrade the other two and ... boom) ... anyway, just in case there had been ANY doubt ... their surprise destination was ... MOROCCO? Yeah. They all have their honeymoons already planned and it just gets paid for by the show. I bet the show was agonizing about having to lay out for those tickets. 

Edited May 9, 2018 by PamelaMaeSnap

[Beaner]

On 5/9/2018 at 11:03 AM, cpcathy said:

I would love an All Time Worst, but they wouldn't be able to snark like the people who watch the show, someone needs to do a brutally honest Youtube retrospective!

Oh yes!!!

[PamelaMaeSnap]

On 1/9/2018 at 12:03 PM, ShaNaeNae said:

 

Those were the WORST.  Especially when they made them hold onto something and swung them around and around in circles with the camera going up the face so you can see all chins.  Or the giggle out loud.  "hahahaha"  That second-hand embarrassment would come back. 

Oh BLAN yes ... though for me, maybe because I'm binge watching, I find the most cringeworthy part is during the snippets where they introduce us to each bride, sometimes they'll have them doing these astoundingly awkward little struts or something to show their "personality" ... musical-lover who had the cold pizza and warm soda and the combined brides' 18 kids under age of 5 was a particular "offender" IIRC as she repeatedly did some little shuffle-ball-step that had me literally squirming with second-hand embarrassment (it was beginning of show so I hadn't yet discovered what a delusional twit she was in which case it might have been more schadenfreude)

[Mrs. Hanson]

19 hours ago, PamelaMaeSnap said:

Oh BLAN yes ... though for me, maybe because I'm binge watching, I find the most cringeworthy part is during the snippets where they introduce us to each bride, sometimes they'll have them doing these astoundingly awkward little struts or something to show their "personality" ... musical-lover who had the cold pizza and warm soda and the combined brides' 18 kids under age of 5 was a particular "offender" IIRC as she repeatedly did some little shuffle-ball-step that had me literally squirming with second-hand embarrassment (it was beginning of show so I hadn't yet discovered what a delusional twit she was in which case it might have been more schadenfreude)

The Warm Pizza Bride - yes I remember her step step, quickstep jazz hands was cringy!!!!  I also have contempt for the brides who are wagging their finger at the camera, as if to say "No, NO fake flowers for me!" like it is the evil of all the Earth.

If I were in that intro, it would look like this:  "Meet Mrs Hanson, a laid back Minnesota Bride.  She likes to sit around eating Nut Goodies and not worrying about what others think of her wedding."  Cue to me lounging in pajama pants, eating said Nut Goodie.

[gonecrackers]

I can't loathe any of them for the cheezy openings, since they're just doing as directed. What I can't stand is how seriously some of them take it, & the complaining & low scoring over stupid things.

[PamelaMaeSnap]

36 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

I can't loathe any of them for the cheezy openings, since they're just doing as directed.

"Zey were just doing their JOBZ!"

Man, what people will whore themselves out for for ... what? Have we determined that TLC or whoever it is actually ends up paying for "Phillintheblank's cozy and cute I'm Such A Dork Wedding with 800 guests for $25,000"? Or is it just the free honeymoon? Other than that, what if anything DOES the couple get out of this other than permanent shaming on the internet as the show continues on in eternal reruns?

It would be so interesting to go back to some of the most embarrassing (if they even realize it) brides and ask if they'd do it again knowing now what they didn't know then.

BTW, I was going NUTS last night watching "... and a Chocolate Handcuff" with four Chicago brides from about 2011 or so. One of the brides, Erika -- German (didn't look especially Germanic) who did the German dances to "incorporate" something to set her apart -- looks SO SO SO SO SO familiar that I couldn't figure out if a) she looks exactly like someone famous, b) she's a reality show whore and I've seen her on something else, or c) I actually know her. She was actually very likable though she finished last.

Okay, better go back to listening to the tornado warnings in my neighborhood. Far enough to not be in the basement yet, close enough that I better stay close to the computer with the local news radio streaming JUST to be safe.

[gonecrackers]

It's mostly the bride who makes an ass out of herself, depending on how she behaves, & for the worst of them I often wonder what her groom/family/friends think of her 'performance' on TV. I think for the most part she could control it. I saw a blog post from a winner a while back, & she said they wanted her to be more specific in her criticisms, that is, she sensed they wanted more bitchy from her. She made a conscious decision not to cooperate, & turned out looking pretty good, & she won.

I hadn't thought they paid them anything but I guess they must get something. Even though it's been said the show actually just pays for a honeymoon the couple has planned, I had noticed brides being shocked &/or underwhelmed by the gift trip location, so I kind of doubt it. I think they get what they get if they win.

Be safe!

Edited May 14, 2018 by gonecrackers

[Baltimore Betty]

On 5/9/2018 at 7:35 PM, PamelaMaeSnap said:

anyway, just in case there had been ANY doubt ... their surprise destination was ... MOROCCO? Yeah. They all have their honeymoons already planned and it just gets paid for by the show. I bet the show was agonizing about having to lay out for those tickets. 

Wait, the honeymoon the winning couple get is actually the honeymoon the couple had already planned but now the show will pay for that honeymoon?  If so the fake surprise opening the envelope is a put on?

[Quof]

I have found wedding websites for some of the couples.  One said "Bob and Sarah will honeymoon in Hawaii" (and their registry included a Honeyfund for a trip to Hawaii, so it was clearly planned in advance of the show). When they won, guess where they went?  I think that explains the difference in the quality of the honeymoons won.  Many get a week in a 3 star all-inclusive resort in the Caribbean.  Once in a while, a couple gets something much more upscale, like Hawaii, or the Greek Islands, or Fiji.  I believe it can only be because those are the trips the couples had planned to pay for on their own.

[PamelaMaeSnap]

2 minutes ago, Quof said:

I have found wedding websites for some of the couples.  One said "Bob and Sarah will honeymoon in Hawaii" (and their registry included a Honeyfund for a trip to Hawaii, so it was clearly planned in advance of the show). When they won, guess where they went?  I think that explains the difference in the quality of the honeymoons won.  Many get a week in a 3 star all-inclusive resort in the Caribbean.  Once in a while, a couple gets something much more upscale, like Hawaii, or the Greek Islands, or Fiji.  I believe it can only be because those are the trips the couples had planned to pay for on their own.

I am not sure if you posted something along these lines a little ways back or someone else did but I found it INCREDIBLY enlightening as far as how they pick the location ... I always wondered about that because I figured the honeymoon HAD to already be planned and paid for before the wedding so what happened if they won another honeymoon ... 

This also makes me wonder even more because ... well, do they pick their quartet of couples based on people who had all chosen the same location for their honeymoon? Or is there some television magic going on where they announce the "winner" AFTER they know who won and they've already paid for the honeymoon so they can retrofit the winner card ... because they ALMOST always give away the location AND the hotel early on when they show the "super romantic resort prize" and 9 out of 10 times it shows the name of the hotel (free advertising has to be part of the deal) but they DID NOT do that with the Moroccan trip ... they showed a hotel but no ID as to where it was (for all I know it wasn't even in Morocco). And I've never seen another bride say "Hey, what a coincidence, that's where WE'RE going on OUR honeymoon!"

So if anyone is still reading this post ... just want to throw this out there out of curiosity to FW and other bridal show fans ... thoughts on a Honeyfund? I think it's a very cool idea, especially in this day and age where so many couples have been living together for so long they already have pretty much everything they want/need for their household so why register for "stuff"? I know a lot of people will give checks or cash, always welcome, but some people don't really want to do that and would rather donate to something specific and special ... my aunt, who is pushing 80 (and because my mom was not alive she took over the "mother of the bride duties" with VERY different tastes and upbringing than I had and basically sort of velvet-glovedly made me register for all this china and silver when I got married that I HAVE NEVER USED EVER EVER EVER 35 years later!!!) thinks it's just tacky and tasteless and she'd rather just give money. But I know some "Honeyfunds" even include cool things the couple might want to do that a guest could contribute to (bike riding on volcano at sunrise or whatever) and I think it's nice that the couple can think of said givers when they do it (and can personalize the thank you card a little more, maybe with photos or whatever).

I know that Little Snappy has been living with her beyonce (boyfriend/almost fiance) for two or three years now (I'm bad with time passage) and though they have a smallish apartment, they don't really NEED china or silver or anything, at least not until they buy a house a few years down the line. So not sure if they'll register, but I know that registries DO make things a little easier for guests. 

Okay. I'll stop babbling now. Tornado warning expired, thunderstorms making house rumble, gonna go bathe the dog and then pour a glass of wine and watch a few more FW reruns!

[Quof]

You know how Honeyfunds work?  You "purchase" a sailing trip that costs $100.   The Honeyfund company takes a percentage for its fee, and gives the couple of cheque for $94.  They don't get a sailing trip.  Not even a voucher to redeem for a sailing trip. They get money that is less than the advertised price of the outing you "bought" them.

Wouldn't you rather just give them all of the money, and let them choose how to spend it?  Money is always an acceptable gift. There's no need to register for it.  People will find a way to give it to you.

Edited May 15, 2018 by Quof

[gonecrackers]

I'm still wondering about the honeymoons... there was that major bitch in FL - Danielle - who won a trip to South Africa. Her face was literally horrified. She definitely didn't seem the type to pick a place like that.

Also, once there was a tie & both couples won trips to Florida; neither looked impressed.

[Mrs. Hanson]

On 5/14/2018 at 8:19 PM, gonecrackers said:

I'm still wondering about the honeymoons... there was that major bitch in FL - Danielle - who won a trip to South Africa. Her face was literally horrified. She definitely didn't seem the type to pick a place like that.

Also, once there was a tie & both couples won trips to Florida; neither looked impressed.

You want to send mt to South Africa?  Yes please!!!  I do think it funny when a Florida couple wins a trip to Bermuda or someplace close - they look like, "Geez we can cruise there in an hour!!" 

 

On 5/14/2018 at 7:37 PM, Quof said:

You know how Honeyfunds work?  You "purchase" a sailing trip that costs $100.   The Honeyfund company takes a percentage for its fee, and gives the couple of cheque for $94.  They don't get a sailing trip.  Not even a voucher to redeem for a sailing trip. They get money that is less than the advertised price of the outing you "bought" them.

Wouldn't you rather just give them all of the money, and let them choose how to spend it?  Money is always an acceptable gift. There's no need to register for it.  People will find a way to give it to you.

Not to get off our awesome topic thread but honey funds are a HOT topic on wedding message boards.  Personally, I find them rude as it is like saying "Hey!  Please fund my honeymoon, thanks!"   Because.....money is always acceptable!!

[Beaner]

Why is it that I can't get behind a honey fund? There's something tacky about it that I can't quite put my finger on. 

[cpcathy]

Because it's begging for money. At least buying a gift seems personal, it gets picked out and wrapped, and you get a thank you note. Honey funds are just screaming "give me cash!"

[PamelaMaeSnap]

On 5/14/2018 at 8:37 PM, Quof said:

You know how Honeyfunds work?  You "purchase" a sailing trip that costs $100.   The Honeyfund company takes a percentage for its fee, and gives the couple of cheque for $94.  They don't get a sailing trip.  Not even a voucher to redeem for a sailing trip. They get money that is less than the advertised price of the outing you "bought" them.

Wouldn't you rather just give them all of the money, and let them choose how to spend it?  Money is always an acceptable gift. There's no need to register for it.  People will find a way to give it to you.

My bad! I thought a "honeyfund" was a generic term for couples registering for or hoping for items for their honeymoon as opposed to registering at, say, a department store. I hadn't realized there was an actual company, Honeyfunds, that did this! 

But I agree that money is always an acceptable gift! (Throw money! I'm going to change the name of this album to "Throw Money" ... okay, name that album!)

On the occasions these days that we are invited to weddings, if the couple has actively registered and there's something cool on the list that we'd like to provide (or we know them well enough to have an idea -- my favorite fallback gift that many people don't have but I have found I use way more than I should is an ice-cream maker!), that's great (I mean, I'm not really a fan of buying, say, three towels).  

But these days at our age most of the weddings we go to are for kids of our friends (or even grandkids of our friends) ... the last wedding we attended (and actually traveled halfway across the country for), not only had I never met the bride or the groom but when we got the invitation I had NO IDEA who it was. I thought it had been misaddressed! It even took my husband a few minutes to figure out it was the son of his friend's girlfriend. 

Interesting responses re: what gifts constitute tacky or not ... not judging at all because to each his own but just wondering where the line is drawn that registering for specific gifts is NOT tacky, and NOT registering for anything, thereby probably subtly suggesting "just give us money" is NOT tacky, but registering for something that is a non-tangible gift equals asking for money and therefore IS tacky? 


 

[Mrs. Hanson]

On 5/19/2018 at 7:59 PM, PamelaMaeSnap said:

just wondering where the line is drawn that registering for specific gifts is NOT tacky, and NOT registering for anything, thereby probably subtly suggesting "just give us money" is NOT tacky, but registering for something that is a non-tangible gift equals asking for money and therefore IS tacky? 

Because a gift registry is just a suggestion, and you never EVER mention it anywhere in print.  Not on the invite, not on the RSVP - we can all find you on Target, Bed Bath and Beyond, Crate and Barrel, etc or ask your mom or sister.  To come right out and ask for cash is cringeworthy.  

A honeymoon is a luxury, fund it yourself or don't go.  We are all entitled to a marriage under the laws of the Supreme Court, we are NOT entitled to a wedding we can't afford, nor a honeymoon to Bora Bora or anyplace else you can't afford.

Some people put a "Honeyfund" box out AT THE WEDDING RECEPTION.  Icky, tacky, tasteless.  What next?  "MY NEW CAR" box?  

[PamelaMaeSnap]

15 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Because a gift registry is just a suggestion, and you never EVER mention it anywhere in print.  Not on the invite, not on the RSVP - we can all find you on Target, Bed Bath and Beyond, Crate and Barrel, etc or ask your mom or sister.  To come right out and ask for cash is cringeworthy.  

A honeymoon is a luxury, fund it yourself or don't go.  We are all entitled to a marriage under the laws of the Supreme Court, we are NOT entitled to a wedding we can't afford, nor a honeymoon to Bora Bora or anyplace else you can't afford.

Some people put a "Honeyfund" box out AT THE WEDDING RECEPTION.  Icky, tacky, tasteless.  What next?  "MY NEW CAR" box?  

Gotcha. As I said, I was not necessarily agreeing or disagreeing, just trying to clarify. And I guess it's different strokes for different folks and nothing is right or wrong (or if it is, according to Emily Post or whomever, then ... whatevs!!!) ... I will say this is the first time I've ever heard that listing where someone is registered is such a no-no ... I guess I can see in some circles why it would be considered "tacky" but personally ... again, just me ... I'd find it convenient instead of having to hunt around to figure out where couple is registered, or IF they are ... I know money is always good but if there are THINGS they might like to set up their household, then I'd be happy to fill that gift list for them! But I guess that's just me. 

In some cases, especially now that I am old, I can't ask someone's relatives. I may not know them, they may not be alive, whatever. I'm glad it is so easy for everyone else to "find" people's registries at Target, BBB, C/B. I'd personally love to have a big honking red arrow pointing "this way to the registry!" for me, I can have fun browsing the stuff, picking something out that suits my budget and that maybe they'll think of us when they use them, put in a credit card number and not have to worry (or forget). 

And yes, 35 years after my marriage, we still have items we use that make me think of the people who bought them for us FROM OUR TACKY-ASS REGISTRY LOL that I was pressured into by my aunt who is an old-fashioned stickler for the "rules" so I guess the rules changed somewhere over 35 years or else there are different versions of them (though we also, as mentioned, still have some gorgeous china and silver that have NEVER been used because we don't entertain, something that never occurred to my aunt -- or me for that matter -- when we went on the registry store visit ... I was still kind of stunned and just let her handle everything.) 

Meanwhile, back to good clean PTV fun snarking on others instead of continuing to out myself as a classless cretin LOL who is one step away from calling the food B-L-A-N bland.

All that said, I do not expect DD and her fiance to register for anything. Right now, just waiting for them to pick a venue and set the date so my husband can take "summer/fall of 2019" off of his "hold" dates for booking gigs for himself. 

[Mrs. Hanson]

16 minutes ago, PamelaMaeSnap said:

All that said, I do not expect DD and her fiance to register for anything. Right now, just waiting for them to pick a venue and set the date so my husband can take "summer/fall of 2019" off of his "hold" dates for booking gigs for himself. 

Awesome!!  Best wishes on being a mother of the bride!!  Is your husband a minister or officiant?  Setting the date and reserving a venue are the toughest parts, that is for sure!!

To put a final pin in the whole gifts thing:  WAAAAY too many brides are of the school of "This is MY day!"  Yes, when you elope to Hawaii with no one else there, it is your day.  When you invite anyone else, it becomes about them too.  And way too many brides use this reasoning to defend tacky behavior.

On 5/18/2018 at 10:17 PM, cpcathy said:

Because it's begging for money. At least buying a gift seems personal, it gets picked out and wrapped, and you get a thank you note. Honey funds are just screaming "give me cash!"

Yep - go on Pinterest and look up "Wishing Well" or "Wishing Well Wedding" and you will see truly cringeworthy poems asking for cash!!!

[cpcathy]

I also hate the money dance. My poor husband, when he was in college, was best man in his best friend's wedding, and had to shell out money for tux, gift, bachelor party, and then more money for the money dance.