All Episodes Talk: All Rise

[Toaster Strudel]

The kids were long gone when she wouldn't un-squat.

[iwasish]

That was the first time I've seen them run the credits without a hallterview!

I really didn't know what to think about the litigants in the second episode.... She didn't move out on time, but he admitted to stringing her along... and there were kids... and it was his parents house... and restraining orders, and air compressors. So at the end I just felt sorry for myself for watching the whole thing.

Air compressor and TEETH!!!!! I was only half paying attention and thought I misheard but no the closed captioning confirmed it. He left his teeth there. Along with some other random stuff.

[Brattinella]

I think JJ just wanted her to SAY "teeth" out loud!  She had read the complaint and knew what it contained.  Kind of a sadist, methinks!

[Guest]

I think JJ just wanted her to SAY "teeth" out loud!  She had read the complaint and knew what it contained.  Kind of a sadist, methinks!

Either that Brattinella or JJ knows that we like that kind of information.  

 

Keeps us on our toes.

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

She said he was "scary" and plotting to steal all her lousy belongings.  Her face was really scrunched up.  She still wants him.

There was something extra-creepy starting to pile up about Mr. Left-My-Teeth-Behind. Of course Ms. Squatterific wasn't any great shakes either but that guy was COLD . . . leading her on so he could get an air compressor and an old POS truck? She probably caught him out in the backyard burning up worms with a magnifying glass or something. . . can't you imagine waking up to him standing over you just STARING at you, not saying a word? (and the teeth - wasn't it some movie where the guy kills people and then takes out a special part of ivory false teeth to bite people and leave his mark?? (Red Dragon? Buffalo Bill? my overactive imagination? that's what I get for watching JJ at 11 PM)  My RUN!!! meter was blaring at the end of the case. 

[SandyToes]

Best non-witness ever!  Rodolfo Dezza. Hilarious.  Byrd really got to shine today.  Litigants not so interesting, but Mr. Dezza was great. "Push!"  Ha! What a maroon.

[Toaster Strudel]

Spread Your Wings And Scheme - Who can afford to buy a TV & laptop on $130/week?  The plaintiff's bill showed that she paid with, please sit down, a bunch of $100 traveler's checks from "a guy who [she] was dealing with."  Getting paid in traveler's checks, is that code for prostitution?  I believed the defendant, he sounded like a no-BS, honest guy.  3 gavels.

 

Malingerer vs. Carp Mouth Landlord - This started out really boring until we got into sexual harassment.  Really?  Making sex sounds behind the window? "Not keeping his distance?" Talking to the crotch???  And then... producing the medical report for an invisible dog bite... some carbon monoxide exposure? And the doctors writing down that they suspected a psychiatric problem below the 5150 threshold... and OMG the hallterview! Weeping about possibly losing her life, and how "people are the silent killer."  Oh boy.  4 gavels.

 

Darting Eyes Sublet - Three gavels for the hallterview!  "He was more concerned about Business School than having fun" like it's a bad thing?  The defendant was young, and in California... for "women, weed and weather."  Women?  He sure had me fooled.

 

Important Book!  Skin Care Products!  Pinball Machine! Legos!  - The plaintiff sure was an angry, excitable little thing even he tried to keep it together at the beginning.  Great editing job amplifying the sound of JJ scratching off their ridiculous list of demands.  Hello nervy daughter-in-law.  It sounds like the deceased might have been a little touched.  Two gavels.

 

Bumper Bumping Fiction Writer - These two weirdos deserved each other, but the defendant was a jealous maniac.  His explanations for rear-ending the woman he was stalking were sheer fantasy, and he was, as JJ put it, "one beer short of a 6-pack." Two gavels.

 

[Rick Kitchen]

Best non-witness ever!  Rodolfo Dezza. Hilarious.  Byrd really got to shine today.  Litigants not so interesting, but Mr. Dezza was great. "Push!"  Ha! What a maroon.

 

One of those people who claims to be a hair dresser whose own hair is horrible.

[AngelaHunter]

Making sex sounds behind the window? "Not keeping his distance?" Talking to the crotch???

 

You always get me so revved up for these that sometimes I can't wait and have to end up eating my dinner at three o'clock.

[Milz]

Ummm...talking to someone else's crotch or his own?

[AlleC17]

In yesterday's Purse Contraband case, did anyone else catch the audience member rolling her eyes when the plaintiff stated he didn't have the receipt?  It just cracked me up! 

[Toaster Strudel]

The plaintiff said that her landlord was talking to her crotch, helpfully (and theatrically) pointing with her finger for the benefit of viewers devoid of human anatomy knowledge.

[teebax]

I forget which case it was recently, but the defendant was going to pay the plaintiff when she got her tax refund, and she showed JJ a copy of her refund check....it was for a little over eight thousand dollars! Isn't a person having too much tax withheld if they get an $8.000+ refund?

My tax refund is large every year, despite the fact that I don't have any children. I support two elderly parents by paying their rent and some of their other living expenses, so they qualify as my dependents. I also have a bunch of deductions, including mortgage interest, student loan interest, business expenses, health expenses, charitable deductions, volunteer work, etc. I have almost nothing withheld from my check, and I still end up with a big refund every year. 

 

Unlike your average JJ litigant, however, I don't spend the rest of the year borrowing money from people in anticipation of said refund!

[Guest]

Was there an issue with Ms. Crotch-Pointer's eyes?

 

At times it looked like they were sealed shut then every now and then I saw them briefly.  I really was waiting for JJ to say "don't shut your eyes, look here"....but if she had a reasonable excuse then I'm sure JJ wouldn't have mentioned it.

 

She clearly had issues. 

[BubblingKettle]

Spread Your Wings And Scheme - Who can afford to buy a TV & laptop on $130/week?  The plaintiff's bill showed that she paid with, please sit down, a bunch of $100 traveler's checks from "a guy who [she] was dealing with."  Getting paid in traveler's checks, is that code for prostitution?  I believed the defendant, he sounded like a no-BS, honest guy.  3 gavels.

You got it, Toaster. Her constant need to throw sexy looks to the defendants (I don't know why) made me think that the "guys she's dealing wiff" know her as a lady of the night. What a disappointment - we didn't get to hear from the defendant's witness. We had to admire that classy elegance from afar.  I think that was a "lady" of the night, also. Case dismissed for this Hustle and Flow, since it's hard out here for a pimp.

 

The 3 W's of life. What else can be said?

 

 

 

Hello nervy daughter-in-law.  It sounds like the deceased might have been a little touched.  Two gavels.

I think the defendant's wife started to tear up after she was shut down by JJ.... HAHHAHA!!  The deceased may have been a little touched, but his greedy jerk of a son made it sound like he was getting a lot of tail up in the mountain home.

 

In the Bumper Bumping case, the defendant kept doing some bizarre lip-licking/sticking his tongue out.  Actually, it struck me so funny.  Thanks for the laugh, weirdo! 

[AngelaHunter]

Quote

Important Book!  Skin Care Products!  Pinball Machine! Legos!  - The plaintiff sure was an angry, excitable little thing

 

This left my head spinning. Plaintiff is married, but lived with his stepfather so he could claim him on his taxes. He's 31 and has a 15 year old daughter? Def, from what I gathered, wouldn't give Dad a glass of water if his feet were on fire, but stepped in to claim Daddy's worldly goods once Dad kicked the bucket. Diamond earrrings? I guess Dad had so many women coming and going that the earrings could belong to anyone. I agreed with JJ - "Too seedy."

 

Quote

Spread Your Wings And Scheme

 

How old is she, anyway? Gotta love adults who are sponging from parents, but even more love for those sponging from grandparents. Did plaintiff think she was cute, with the little head tilt and annoying grin? Wrong.

 

Quote

Bumper Bumping Fiction Writer

 

Once upon a time, I would have thought that no way could the defendant be cheating, because who the hell would want him? I know better now. What irked the most was the admission that those two lamebrains were cellphone fighting while driving. No one cares if they kill themselves that way, but to endanger everyone else in their dumbass path? Both of them should be locked up. And horsewhipped.

 

ETA:

In the Bumper Bumping case, the defendant kept doing some bizarre lip-licking/sticking his tongue out.

 

Ugh, ugh! That was so distasteful I blocked it out. Icky-poo!

Edited May 19, 2015 by AngelaHunter

[augmentedfourth]

The defendant was young, and in California... for "women, weed and weather."  Women?  He sure had me fooled.

 

 

For being on the show, what, all of three minutes? Mr. 3Ws edges pretty close to the top of my list of "Most Obnoxious Litigants". I couldn't tell if he was playing it up for the cameras, thinking he'd get his big break in California, or if he was legitimately that much of an ass. Either way, what a twit.

 

I think the defendant's wife started to tear up after she was shut down by JJ.... HAHHAHA!!

 

 

I'm pretty sure the mics picked up (but JJ didn't) the plaintiff muttering "it's about time" under his breath after that great shutdown. In that case, I agree that the plaintiff was a little excitable and was probably asking for way more than he was entitled to, but the defendant struck me as being very greedy and just...cold.

[SandyToes]

Ms. Malingerer/Crotch Pointer seems like a professional grifter to me. Always someone else's fault.  Wonder what was behind her "annuities" ? I do indeed think there are issues. A little bit sad.  But just a little.

 

 

Getting paid in traveler's checks, is that code for prostitution?

 

Are travelers' checks still available? I can't imagine anywhere I shop even knowing what to do with one. Agree with Toaster and CoolWhip about this one.

 

What a load of creepy people today. (And an even creepier one coming tomorrow, if the previews are correct!)

[califred]

I did not like the defendant step brother. I believe he was never around while the other young man grew up with and stayed with the step dad.

The woman in the landlord case really should stay with her Mom.

[teebax]

Are travelers' checks still available? I can't imagine anywhere I shop even knowing what to do with one. Agree with Toaster and CoolWhip about this one.

 

Yep. American Express still has them on their website. It's been at least 20 years since I've worked in a retail establishment but, when I did, they were a huge pain in the ass. I hated when people paid with them, although I understand wanting the security of them while traveling. Today's systems may be better able to handle them, but I'd almost cry if someone paid with those damn things!

 

I' haven't watched the episodes today, but I've never heard of getting paid in Travelers Cheques. That has to be something shady.

[Brattinella]

Welp, I missed all of JJ today (along with other stuff) due to tornado warnings and watches etc etc.  I'll have to catch up on a re-run again.  Weather is still going on, so I'll be signing off til tomorrow.  Hugs, friends!

[basiltherat]

On the dirty landlord case, plaintiff had a case of carbon monoxide inhalation and she gave JJ the doctor's report that said that he suspected a mental cause for her "suffering"  And Girlfriend gave that report to JJ as her proof !!!  Two shots in the foot for her!

[speac]

Boy did I take the step brother case different from a lot of other people.  The defendant was the man's son, the plaintiff sounds like he had been mooching off his step father for a long time.  Sure the son didn't have a let's go visit dad kind of relationship but his father had been out of his life from a very early age but that doesn't make him a bad son, despite the way Judge Judy acted.

[Intocats]

Welp, I missed all of JJ today (along with other stuff) due to tornado warnings and watches etc etc.  I'll have to catch up on a re-run again.  Weather is still going on, so I'll be signing off til tomorrow.  Hugs, friends!

Take care, Brattinella, and stay safe!

[announcergirl]

Ok, two things: The mom who bought the kid a computer and he traded it to the dad for an insurance debt; and, the cases with a sexual harassment element.

I would have been just as pissed with that kid and his dad after I paid for a gift for him and he gives it away. The dad should probably be paying for that insurance anyway.

I have noticed that JJ is dismissive of anyone who sues for sexual harassment. It is possible. It happens. Why does she do that?

[AngelaHunter]

I have noticed that JJ is dismissive of anyone who sues for sexual harassment. It is possible. It happens.

 

Yes, for sure it happens, but if you listen to what any of the litigants call sexual harassment, it's not hard to see why JJ is dismissive.

 

"He was my boss and he sexually harassed me but I continued to work for him for another four years just because."

 

As for "making sex noises through the window" (what does that even mean?) or "looking at my *points to "down there"*  - not hard to see why that was ignored.

[teebax]

Ok, two things: The mom who bought the kid a computer and he traded it to the dad for an insurance debt; and, the cases with a sexual harassment element.

I would have been just as pissed with that kid and his dad after I paid for a gift for him and he gives it away. The dad should probably be paying for that insurance anyway.

I have noticed that JJ is dismissive of anyone who sues for sexual harassment. It is possible. It happens. Why does she do that?

I've noticed that as well. But in this case, the plaintiff was clearly not all there. I feel sad for her. Anyone who would give medical records indicating the doctor thought she had mental problems obviously has them. Also, her hallterview was a bit.... Something. I thought JJ handled that case as well as she could. Edited May 20, 2015 by teebax

[Toaster Strudel]

I looked it up and there appears to be a lot of counterfeit traveler's cheques and they can be used for money laundering.

[Rick Kitchen]

Boy did I take the step brother case different from a lot of other people.  The defendant was the man's son, the plaintiff sounds like he had been mooching off his step father for a long time.  Sure the son didn't have a let's go visit dad kind of relationship but his father had been out of his life from a very early age but that doesn't make him a bad son, despite the way Judge Judy acted.

 

That was the plaintiff's home from the time he was two years old.  He considered that man his father.  It was his house, not the stepbrother's, who couldn't care less about his father when he was alive but was all about jumping in and taking everything including the house when Dad was gone.

 

 

He's 31 and has a 15 year old daughter?

 

Stepdaughter.

[Brattinella]

Thanks, intocats!  I had a VERY scary time of it tonight; a tornado complete with softball sized hail missed us by MAYBE 2 miles.  WAY too close for comfort, I about peed my pants!

[califred]

Bratinella, glad you are ok but wow! That part of living in the Midwest I don't miss.

[announcergirl]

I totally 100% agree with Rich Kitchen's assessment of the stepbrother case. Did you also hear the bio son say that although he hasn't seen his dad in years, he lives in the same state? And then, what's with the nasty attitude of lil Heidi who asked JJ if they can see what credit card was used and if it were her "father's?" Bitch, shut-up!

[27bored]

Judge Bougie again showed her ignorance when initially dismissed the daughter's Quincinera book as meaningless. That's an important event for Mexican girl, almost similar to a Bar Mitzvah. She circled back around to it once his wife said something but still. If you want to do important work go work for the State Department. You host a trashy daytime game show where you throw shade and yell at people. Climb down off your high horse.

The part-time McDonalds girl was hard to watch because she acted just like a chick I used to, ahem, deal with. Even the way she smiled and turned her head to the side. She was also from the Bronx. And trust me, they all have a side hustle.

Also, I just want to say I've been posting less frequently here lately but it does my heart proud to see so much freewheeling hostility and shade throwing at the litigants on this show. It's unfair and mean, but it's funny! I love you guys.

[6 MeowMeowBeenz]

Ms. Malingerer/Crotch Pointer

 

I have the strong feeling that she is known to about every legal and medical entity in the area. I was looking on the ER report for GOMER. 

 

The google tells me that AMEX is phasing out travelers checks by 2018. They have to be a big PITA to use, I remember having issues with them in the 70s when they were far more common. I'd bet they were stolen. 

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

Malingerer vs. Carp Mouth Landlord....  And then... producing the medical report for an invisible dog bite... some carbon monoxide exposure? And the doctors writing down that they suspected a psychiatric problem below the 5150 threshold... and OMG the hallterview! Weeping about possibly losing her life, and how "people are the silent killer."  

I just love when people submit evidence that shoots themselves in the foot. She probably needed the extra time in the place in order to rent a big old UHaul to get her collection of tinfoil hats out of the house. 

Bratinelli - glad you are safe!  I've lived in Florida for many years and tornados are my Achilles heel - even the thought alternately freaks me out and excites me (went on vacation about four years ago and one popped up 1/2 mile from my house, saw it on my news feed when I checked my email the next day). 

 

On the stepbrother/brother/dead dad case, I got the idea that the dead father was somewhat of a womanizer - he'd been through two wives before he ended up with the plaintiff's mother and a collection of girlfriends after that. The plaintiff did act a little grifter-y over some of the stuff. 

[SandyToes]

I hear ya, 27bored.  There are for sure times where I feel a little mean. But I've analyzed things very carefully (!) and think folks here come in two types. Those who see this as their ONLY way to get some compensation (the good landlords and crummy tenants who will never, ever cough up any money, and the loan/gift cases, for example), and those that can't wait to be on TV! That second group gets very little mercy, in my book. You put yourself out there, better make sure you can handle it.

That said, sometimes there are people who are sad and have "issues." I try to cut them some slack, but sometimes, funny is just funny.  :-/

 

Of course, as I write this, I'm watching a mom sue a former daughter-in-law for travel expenses to her son's funeral or something. May have to add a third type of litigant:  "Batshit Crazy."

Edited May 20, 2015 by SandyToes

[Toaster Strudel]

Technical glitch from my broadcasting station?  The second show was exactly the same as yesterday's!  So only two cases to gavel.

 

Nine Different Stories - The plaintiff was not at the top of her game, with December's rent becoming November's rent, two can play this game, then November's rent was applied to December, at this stage of the game, but then it was marked "November's rent" and dated in October, that's the name of the game, or were three months paid cash ahead of time, which would be a whole new ball game?  Couldn't she bring her designer bags to the shelter lottery to get back in the game?  Two gavels.

 

Liver Lips - It's "liver lips" because calling the case "who let the dogs out" would be mean.  This was a no-brainer, of course the defendant was hysterical about her storage unit getting auctioned, but she was disingenuous when she professed detachment from her material possessions.  Said JJ: "sell them, then!"  Damned straight.  Two gavels.

[Milz]

The Stepbrothers...I thought they were both shady: one was a sponge and one was disgruntled.

 

Crotch talker: Even if I didn't read Toaster's excellent recap, I could tell where the case was headed when JJ had her recount her prior living arrangements: 6 months with daughter, 6 months with mother, and by herself

 

Mr. California 3W: I agree with whoever said he was annoying. The way he mugged the camera was too much. The sad thing I bet a lots of drunk women find him attractive enough to have sex with him. I hope his mother cringed during his halterview, but I have a feeling she didn't.

[AlleC17]

I've noticed that as well. But in this case, the plaintiff was clearly not all there. I feel sad for her. Anyone who would give medical records indicating the doctor thought she had mental problems obviously has them. Also, her hallterview was a bit.... Something. I thought JJ handled that case as well as she could.

Definitely agree.  When JJ learned plaintiff was back living with her mother, she said that that was where she should be.  I agree.  That halterview was really strange!

[speac]

I did not like the defendant step brother. I believe he was never around while the other young man grew up with and stayed with the step dad.

The woman in the landlord case really should stay with her Mom.

 

Or the son was ignored by his father who left his mother for the step son's mother.  The point is we don't know the family dynamics. The one thing we do know is the it that the father left the property to the son.  He could have left it to both the son and stepson or just the step son. but he chose the son. Also JJ walked over the son saying that even though he didn't visit, they talked often.

[AngelaHunter]

Nine Different Stories - The plaintiff was not at the top of her game

 

What I learned from this episode: A man can hit you in the face so hard he hurts his hand, but as long as you're asleep when he does it you will have no marks, no bruising and it won't even hurt! I really wanted to hear how he "extorted" double rent out of her, but I was disappointed.

 

I can't help thinking of the insanity of letting a stranger from Craigslist move into your home, but if no one did that our entertainment would be seriously curtailed. So keep doing that, everyone! Cuz it always works out so well.

 

Liver Lips

 

Don't forget Momma Liver Lips. If I, like Ms. Ahrenstein, looked like a hungry lamprey with a particularly nasty grill, I like to think I'd be a little nicer, as in NOT rip off a friend who was kind enough to loan me all that money so I could keep my shitty "stuff." Ugh. I have friends I've had since I was five years old and never did any of them offer me thousands of dollars as a gift, not that I would take it even if they did. Which they wouldn't. Guess I have the wrong friends.

 

[BubblingKettle]

Liver Lips - It's "liver lips" because calling the case "who let the dogs out" would be mean. 

Those two claimed to be security guards. The folks who come on the show and claim to be security guards --- what exactly are they entrusted to secure?  A barrette into their hair? Their shoelaces? Without common sense and physical prowess, I can't imagine what they might be expected to do. {Popped into my head: maybe they check the receipts on the way out of WalMart.}

[Rick Kitchen]

In that last case where the ex girlfriend was suing the ex boyfriend, I thought that was his mother.

[Guest]

In that last case where the ex girlfriend was suing the ex boyfriend, I thought that was his mother.

He was the human version of Shrek.

[iwasish]

The plaintiff said that her landlord was talking to her crotch, helpfully (and theatrically) pointing with her finger for the benefit of viewers devoid of human anatomy knowledge.

At least it didn't answer back.

[6 MeowMeowBeenz]

The plaintiff said that her landlord was talking to her crotch, helpfully (and theatrically) pointing with her finger for the benefit of viewers devoid of human anatomy knowledge.

 

At least it didn't answer back.

 

HeellOOOO, la la la

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

I hear ya, 27bored.  There are for sure times where I feel a little mean. But I've analyzed things very carefully (!) and think folks here come in two types.

There's a huge segment of our population that feels as if every slight, every issue, requires some kind of financial compensation. They get your order at McDonald's wrong? It's because they're racist, (or sexist or a homophobe or fat shaming or skinny shaming or just wanting to piss you off ON PURPOSE), Somebody look at you weird? It's sexual harassment. Your friend come by your house to collect on a debt because you stopped answering your phone? Harassment and emotional damn damages. Where did our society get the idea that life was supposed to be totally smooth sailing at all times? SOMETIMES SH*T JUST HAPPENS JJ Litigants!  Particularly when you make bad decisions like you move in some guy you've dated for a month or pay his child support or obtain a cell phone for somebody that can't get one because they didn't pay their own bill! What do you THINK is going to happen? What's going to happen if you have several 'designer" bags or an Ipad or laptop but you can't pay your rent? I wish the Common Sense Police would open up a can of Whoop A$$ on the majority of these dingbats or else their mamas would quit teaching them they are the Special Snowflakes of the world who aren't responsible for their own bad decisions!

 

And after you get off my lawn. . . it's back to the show. . . lol

[SandyToes]

Patti, I love you.

 

:-)

[AngelaHunter]

ItsHelloPattiagain - I wish I could give your post 100 "likes".

 

They get your order at McDonald's wrong? It's because they're racist, (or sexist or a homophobe or fat shaming or skinny shaming or just wanting to piss you off ON PURPOSE),

 

They go running to the PC police, thinking maybe it's the path to winning a lottery for the horrible mental anguish their tender little psyches have endured.

[Brattinella]

ItsHelloPattiAgain... Brilliant post!  Thank you!!