S04.E03: Just Married

[Gem 10]

Sigh  -   Love, love this show.   Tom & Lillian .. Looks like they will consummate next episode.  I love Lillian.  She always has a smile on her face and looks agreeable.  But .. I don't think she will go for living in th bus and I don't blame her.  Tom will have to get an apartment with her.  If he balks, then he is very selfish and will regret it.

Sonia & Nick .. She has to let loose already and he has to be more affectionate and not be so serious .   Drink a couple of wines and let loose .. You're married.  Have fun.

Heather & Derek .. Heather looks bossy and might ruin the relationship.  She's already bugging him about smoking.   Geese, he could always quit.  And the gambling thing.  Picking on is habits already is going to e a turnoff for him.   Doesn't look like she's into him.

[ChristmasJones]

I think we'd be seeing a very different Sonia at this point if she had been paired with Derek. My impression is that she feels stifled and awkward due to Nick being so closed-off. When they were standing at the table with champagne, right after they were at the altar, I thought Nick was just standing like a wooden statue, hardly engaging her at all.

If Sonia and Derek were together, I could see her being much more open much sooner.

That isn't to say that I think Nick is terrible. He may be shy, and even more shy on camera, and in these circumstances (reality show/marry a stranger). I hope that is the case, as he seems like a decent guy. I personally love a dry sense of humor.

[humbleopinion]

Sonia needs Nick to reassure her, to reconfirm her opinions/thoughts to be compatible to his.

He is leaving her in the weeds because she doesn't quite get the subtlety of his bone dry humor.

Nick doesn't quite understand SoniaTalk, which is her up speak-dangling-questions-not-posed-as-questions as opened ended conversation threads. 

A failure to communicate will be their biggest hurdle.

 Gushing emotions make me queasy so arid dry Nick is my favorite First Sighter.

I can see why he was plucked from the 33K or to break it down more specifically 32,990 women and 10 dudes.

Edited August 14, 2016 by humbleopinion
more nonsense

[seasick]

23 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

To remind you what a working bus looked like think of Ratso in the last scenes of Midnight Cowboy.

Youtube has a nice clip that I didn't want to clutter this site with.

Lily's hopes and dreams of a whitepicket fence is portrayed by Dustin Hoffman/Rico/Ratso.

Yes, they quietly died.

Poor Ratso.   Yes his dream was to live in Miami.   (Ratso Rizzo, no?--God can't believe I still recall that if i do)    

"Hey! I'm walkin' heah!   I'm walkin' heah!"

23 hours ago, Stillhoping said:

Every other couple every other season moved in to a new place together complete w fake apt house hunting. So why would they make Lilly move into the bus? Why not give them a shared place for 6 weeks and let them figure it out? 

If all is great maybe Tom can move.inher apt and they can take the bus out weekends....down to the Keys..over to Naples marco Island...up to. Orlando and parks. Whats the big deal? Ryan lived in his moms basement...loser Doug lived w his parents...his only job still seems to be what Jamie can squeeze out of the network haha.

well, I'm guessing that bus gets --at best 8 --miles to the gallon.  Maybe better if it's a diesel engine.  And I'm not saying it's impossible to use it for weekend trips--but it's usually a magilla somehow when it's used as a permanent home and I can see where, for now, that wouldn't happen.  And who knows how roadworthy it really is at this point.  Engine, transmission.. brakes..even lights and blinkers etc.  

I'm not as freaked out by the bus as most are,  and maybe down the line the bus can become a weekender,  but from some experience I doubt it now.

They do have the option of getting a shared place for the 6 weeks and I think they will. Anxious to see if Tom pushes her to try living on the bus, or easily concedes to the shared place for the 6 weeks.   You never know--he might find he enjoys the extra space and sticks there.

[humbleopinion]

The bus makes for good TV so the crew will have to film Lily's "reaction" upon driving up to her new home and the discovery of its many charms.

Cannot wait for the oohs and aahs.

As with all previous M@FS seasons, the couples do set up a new JOINT (hello Derek, yes pun intended) marriage home so the bus may just be the cause of conflict but not the location of the spats.

Sure, why not have a place to go on weekends to chillax while Lily works her ass off at Open Houses since that her prime time to show properties.

Life is going to be good, Tom, if you don't mess it up with your veiled lack of ambition.

[Jellybeans]

About Tom and his bus... doesn't Lilly have her own place?  Why can't they also share her place as well?  Why is it assumed they are living in HIS bus all the time?  Seems to me they could live in both her place and his. 

[biakbiak]

9 hours ago, Jellybeans said:

About Tom and his bus... doesn't Lilly have her own place?  Why can't they also share her place as well?  Why is it assumed they are living in HIS bus all the time?  Seems to me they could live in both her place and his. 

It seems to me this is all producer driven (if it even plays out that way) since every other season has had them move into a neutral place.

[Kareem]

Still trying to understand why stick up her butt Heather went from cautiously optimistic on the wedding day to not liking him anymore by brunch.  Was it because he said he didn't have a preference - window v. aisle??  She seemed sour by the time of the honeymoon, unless that's her usual disposition.   She's killing his happy. Reserving judgment on his smoking because if he's tooting the root, they sure make it sound like cigarettes.  

Still not feeling Sonya/Hello Kitty. She seems so nervous and her style of speech wears me out. I hope she calms down and gives dry Nick a chance. He seemed a bit more animated from brunch on. Thank goodness.  

I think Tom lays it on pretty thick. I liked the way he handled the wedding but since then, it feels like it's been so much about how to drop the bus bomb. Lily seems like a good-natured soul. I'm assuming she'll hate the bus. The bus sucks.  

Looking forward to more of these guys.  

[red12]

Tom bugs me because he (or the producers) are making the bus a bomb to be dropped. Look, an adult man needs to be ready to die on the hill of his convictions. Do you want the bus more than you want a successful relationship? Maybe you do because according to Tom, this would not be the first woman who dumped him over the bus. So, when you have such a big deal breaker that you are unwilling to compromise on, stop hiding it and just talk about it as early as possible. It's like if I was dating a guy and didn't want to tell him about having a kid until I was sure he loved me. 

I also don't like the way Tom makes it seem as if there is something wrong with a woman who doesn't want to live full-time on an abandoned wreck from the set of the Partridge Family sitting on blocks in a parking lot. I mean that is a very specific market you are going for dude. It's not even a cute tiny house in your parent's yard.  You are asking someone to live one step above camping in a tent. A woman has just as much right not to want that from her life as you do to want it. 

[seasick]

well I'll bet you most of the Rv's in the park are lived in all winter (a good 4-7 months by retirees.)  It's their second "home."  My parent's did it one year before they purchased in Fl.   I'll bet there's a good number of year-rounder's too.  It's common to use Rv's  as a vacation home.   Many fairly 'well-heeled middle-class' types  do it all the time.  It really isn't that weird, I'm telling ya!    (and it's not on blocks--the tires are covered to protect from the sun, which is commonly done with any sitting long-term.)

[red12]

5 hours ago, seasick said:

well I'll bet you most of the Rv's in the park are lived in all winter (a good 4-7 months by retirees.)  It's their second "home."  My parent's did it one year before they purchased in Fl.   I'll bet there's a good number of year-rounder's too.  It's common to use Rv's  as a vacation home.   Many fairly 'well-heeled middle-class' types  do it all the time.  It really isn't that weird, I'm telling ya!    (and it's not on blocks--the tires are covered to protect from the sun, which is commonly done with any sitting long-term.)

Seasick, make no mistake I know plenty of people including family members who love rv's. But, that bus does not equal any of the ones I have seen people live in for a long period of time. My point is not that rv's are bad or low class. My point is that the presentation of his bus is not good. 

Where one lives is personal choice, but I do find it presumptuous of Tom to assign judements like materialistic and shallow to a woman because she would rather live in a home or have a closet. Everything has an opportunity cost and so far the bus is more important to him than the women who didn't want to live there. And that's okay, but he needs to fully own that choice without placing blame on those women.

[jamblastx]

7 hours ago, red12 said:

 

Where one lives is personal choice, but I do find it presumptuous of Tom to assign judements like materialistic and shallow to a woman because she would rather live in a home or have a closet. Everything has an opportunity cost and so far the bus is more important to him than the women who didn't want to live there. And that's okay, but he needs to fully own that choice without placing blame on those women.

Bingo!  The issue is NOT because he lives on a bus in a RV park, but it's because he judges people as being materialistic if they don't want to live this 'lifestyle'.  For arguments sake, let's say that Lillian does not have the need to live in a fancy house/condo/apartment and would be perfectly fine in living in a small modest dwelling but NOT a converted tour bus....would this make her materialistic?  According to Tom it probably still would because for him he is putting the bus above all else....and that is being materialistic.

The more I think about it, this pairing may have been a good one except for this huge stumbling block and the producers forced it for some extra conflict (heck, we all cannot stop talking about it) and while that serves the 'show', it does not serve these two people who may have gone into this will 'real' intentions.  Let's put the Real back in Reality

[Neurochick]

If Lily says no to the bus, Tom will have to decide if he wants the frame (living on the bus) or the picture (Lily).  If the person, if Lily is who Tom wants, then he will have to compromise.  Granted, he might be able to find a woman who would not mind living on that bus, but she might not be right for him in other ways. 

Edited August 16, 2016 by Neurochick

[seasick]

18 hours ago, red12 said:

Seasick, make no mistake I know plenty of people including family members who love rv's. But, that bus does not equal any of the ones I have seen people live in for a long period of time. My point is not that rv's are bad or low class. My point is that the presentation of his bus is not good. 

Where one lives is personal choice, but I do find it presumptuous of Tom to assign judements like materialistic and shallow to a woman because she would rather live in a home or have a closet. Everything has an opportunity cost and so far the bus is more important to him than the women who didn't want to live there. And that's okay, but he needs to fully own that choice without placing blame on those women.

I see your point here and I like it.   I will just say though that Lily appears to be a little sensitive and his comment may not have been meant to be personal.  I'm not sure yet that he goes 'there' to calling all those that don't embrace the bus  "materialistic" and shallow.  We'll see.   They are playing this up to the hilt and judging from the 2 parter for honeymoons they're stalling the 'big moment'--unless the HMoons are very meaty all-around.   But we won't be seeing the full reaction to the bus for 3 more eps. apparently.  I'm giving it all a chance before we decide Lily hates the bus and Tom thinks she's acting the shallow material princess girl.  We're not there yet.  (I so want it to work out!!)   I don't go to the Spoilers or Social Media thread so I hope there isn't something 'I don't know!' by all the negative comments!  Fingers crossed they work it out.

 

7 hours ago, Neurochick said:

If Lily says no to the bus, Tom will have to decide if he wants the frame (living on the bus) or the picture (Lily).  If the person, if Lily is who Tom wants, then he will have to compromise.  Granted, he might be able to find a woman who would not mind living on that bus, but she might not be right for him in other ways. 

I like that.  Good way to put it.

[Jellybeans]

We may not see the fight until the finale!  LOL.

[candall]

On ‎8‎/‎13‎/‎2016 at 4:09 PM, Passthepopcorn said:

Introverts are never going to come across as popular, fun , interesting on a reality show. It takes a lot of time, patience, trust to really get to know one and many times, be pleasantly surprised. Nick fits this category and we'll never see much of him, especially when he has a camera on his face. I hope Sonia gets to know him and vice versa. 

Heather could also be an introvert, she certainly is very cautious and has a wall around her, but she seems pretty cold, while I see warmth in Nick. I'm keeping that door open for Heather before I decide to dislike her. Derek on the other hand, seems so friendly, open and ready to share. He has an outstanding attitude. My only concern with him is that I see a bit of a party boy/wild guy. But it is clear that he is ready and seems happy to be married. So, we'll see...

Oh dear, my Heather door is already shut. 

It's not the damn cigarettes, it's how she prefers to put her clothes away in hotel room drawers so she points to the drawers he's supposed to use, even though he just told her he's fine being a suitcase guy for four days.  It's how she tosses back over her shoulder that she can't slow down because "this is how I ride a bike."  It's the disapproving look on her face that he's messier than she is.  Oh, the humanity.

 

She's a dog with a bone on those cigs because a) anti-smoking is a sympathetic position and b) the guy put his clothes into drawers, stepped up the efforts to pick up after himself and pedaled that strand cruiser into overdrive.  (Apparently he knew better than to suggest they play a few hands of blackjack.)

If he didn't dig in his heels--if he slapped on a nicotine patch and went cold turkey--would she become a happy, generous bride, excited to explore their mutual unique situation?

PFFFT.

My Heather door is shut and has a strip of yellow police tape across it.

 

Derek's not perfect.  One of his tattoos is a big cartoon Batman.  But out of 3000 women, I think they could have found a few dozen people willing to compromise and mesh with him a little better than Heather.

[Passthepopcorn]

18 hours ago, candall said:

Oh dear, my Heather door is already shut. 

It's not the damn cigarettes, it's how she prefers to put her clothes away in hotel room drawers so she points to the drawers he's supposed to use, even though he just told her he's fine being a suitcase guy for four days.  It's how she tosses back over her shoulder that she can't slow down because "this is how I ride a bike."  It's the disapproving look on her face that he's messier than she is.  Oh, the humanity.

 

She's a dog with a bone on those cigs because a) anti-smoking is a sympathetic position and b) the guy put his clothes into drawers, stepped up the efforts to pick up after himself and pedaled that strand cruiser into overdrive.  (Apparently he knew better than to suggest they play a few hands of blackjack.)

If he didn't dig in his heels--if he slapped on a nicotine patch and went cold turkey--would she become a happy, generous bride, excited to explore their mutual unique situation?

PFFFT.

My Heather door is shut and has a strip of yellow police tape across it.

 

Derek's not perfect.  One of his tattoos is a big cartoon Batman.  But out of 3000 women, I think they could have found a few dozen people willing to compromise and mesh with him a little better than Heather.

I wrote this before the last episode. I'm not trying to defend her by any means. I don't particularly like her either, or the way she has handled issues nor her mood killing attitude. I think she is very used to being on her own and it shows. It doesn't seem that she wants to be with anybody. But I don't really know her and I don't really know what really happened. If he (as much as I like his personality) needs to get high first thing in the morning in front of someone he just met, who wouldn't be pissed, or disappointed or completely turned off? Even if it happens not to be pot and it's cigarettes, he said he smoked "occasionally", not everyday, not before breakfast.

Plus, she can be feeling for him the same despise you feel for her. Then what? Oh yeah, shut door.

Edited August 21, 2016 by Passthepopcorn

[StayingAfterSunday]

On 8/16/2016 at 6:41 PM, seasick said:

I see your point here and I like it.   I will just say though that Lily appears to be a little sensitive and his comment may not have been meant to be personal.  I'm not sure yet that he goes 'there' to calling all those that don't embrace the bus  "materialistic" and shallow.  We'll see.   They are playing this up to the hilt and judging from the 2 parter for honeymoons they're stalling the 'big moment'--unless the HMoons are very meaty all-around.   But we won't be seeing the full reaction to the bus for 3 more eps. apparently.  I'm giving it all a chance before we decide Lily hates the bus and Tom thinks she's acting the shallow material princess girl.  We're not there yet.  (I so want it to work out!!)   I don't go to the Spoilers or Social Media thread so I hope there isn't something 'I don't know!' by all the negative comments!  Fingers crossed they work it out.

 

I like that.  Good way to put it.

Tom clarified his original comment very well when he explained that he is a "minimalist" who doesn't require a lot of material acquisitions to be content. He said, in so many words, that he values people more than things, and is drawn towards people of like mind. He is not attracted to those who value others based on what they own or how much money they make.  I'm paraphrasing, obviously, but this was the gist of his explanation. It seemed to satisfy Lily at the time.

[candall]

2 hours ago, Passthepopcorn said:

Plus, she can be feeling for him the same despise you feel for her. Then what? Oh yeah, shut door.

Umm . . . I'm just a casual viewer who's formed an opinion about a reality show participant I find unpleasant--I didn't marry her.

 

If I had married her, MAFS-style, I wouldn't say, on Day Five:  "Well, this person is clearly a control freak and that pushes all the wrong buttons for me.  Check, please."

[twenangst]

it only occurred to me in this episode (the third or fourth, depending on how you count) that Nick is a really handsome dude. it may well be that i'm blind, but i think it's because he projects nothing and he's almost transparent.

[love2lovebadtv]

On 8/10/2016 at 11:07 AM, izabella said:

Oh, man, I have to speak up for all the squinty-eyed people out there!   For some of us it is genetic!  I have my grandma's Catherine Zeta Jones/Helen Hunt squinty eyes especially when I smile.  I'm not always high, promise!

- President of the newly formed Squinty-Eye Support Group

Has anyone seen his mom? She has squinty eyes,  too.  They have the same smile.  It's cute. Even her attitude was laid back like his.  She was like,  eh well you always make good choices so... Maybe he smokes pot,  I dunno.  But it's genetics that causes hissquinty eyes,  not weed.