S04.E01: Matchmaking Special / Wedding Preparations

[Empress1]

For me it's about privacy. I wouldn't want to live in a studio apartment with a dude either, because there's nowhere to go besides the bathroom if you want to get away from them for a few minutes. I have a few friends who lived in NYC studios with an SO because that's what they could afford, and that meant that one of them stayed out of the place for very long stretches of time. With one couple, the guy was in law school and he basically only slept in the apartment. He did all his studying on campus because if he went home his girlfriend (now wife) was there, and even if she was just quietly making dinner or watching TV or whatever, the fact that they lived in one (tiny) room meant that he couldn't help but be distracted by whatever she was doing. I knew another guy whose girlfriend had to move into his studio with him unexpectedly (she was laid off in the recession and couldn't keep her place) and he worked remotely, and he had to start working in a coffee shop or library. I don't need a ton of space, but I do need to be able to be in a room that the other person isn't in from time to time.

25 minutes ago, Jack Sampson said:

Bigger, but the apartment appreciates. 

I think the issue is stability.  A house is the most permanent dwelling available (outside of a castle) and his aversion to that makes people question his commitment.

Yeah, living in a small space is one thing, but living on a bus connotes a very transient, fly by the seat of your pants, no responsibilities kind of lifestyle. You can't fit a family on that bus - the bus isn't even finished yet. It's why he's really not a good candidate for this, if this were a real thing and not a reality show. Living on a bus might work for some people (not me; I'd have no issue dumping him over it. It doesn't make him a bad person, but it makes him incompatible with me), but you really have to know that they're the kind of person who can handle it. "Surprise! Your new husband lives on a bus!" is shitty - but will make for good TV, which I'm sure is why they did it.

[Evil Queen]

3 hours ago, Neurochick said:

Personally, for me the smaller space the better.  I don't know about "most of us."  But I'd rather clean a smaller space than a larger one.  McMansions make me ill, so much waste. 

I would not be a bit surprised if the bus was something like a "beach house." 

I wonder if that bus is larger or smaller than Davina's apartment in Manhattan.

For me I wouldn't live in some McMansion either. Couldn't afford it anyway but I know from living how we have and had before this that when you have 3 kids that space is something you need. Doesn't mean you need overload of it but a space for all is not a bad thing. I would prefer to have a normal sized home with the bedrooms needed for our size family. It gives all that space to get away. At this point if I wanted to escape I'd have to go into the bathroom.  I am not sure how much sq footage is in the bus but I know we have more than Davina's apartment had but she was 1 person. So big difference between 1 person, 2 or 5. Being in something that is so dark inside because of that wood would be a big no no. We have been looking at places around here and there was one that was so outdated still. Reminds me of that with the wood paneling all over the rooms. It was so dark in the place. I need it to be light enough to where I don't feel like I have to turn lights on in the day.  LOL For me if it was "beach house" like it would be airy and light. Not dark and stuffy. Which I'm near the beach and that is what surprised me to see was the one house looking that way here. LOL 

1 hour ago, Jack Sampson said:

Bigger, but the apartment appreciates. 

I think the issue is stability.  A house is the most permanent dwelling available (outside of a castle) and his aversion to that makes people question his commitment.

I have to say that it always kills me how in a place like NY apartments you buy but out my way we call them condos and apartments are things you rent and never own. LOL But agree with what you are saying. I honestly think at some point all these people jumping on tiny housing because its the "fad" will get tired of that life and living on someone else's property or moving it around because of one reason or another and they will want to get rid of them. I am sure a few will be happy with them for life but you also have to find a city that is ok with that kind of living too. Not all are or what those things parked wherever you please. But I also agree that it doesn't show stable in a person since they could pick up and go at anytime. 

[qtpye]

4 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I wonder if that bus is larger or smaller than Davina's apartment in Manhattan.

Not to get off topic, but did we ever see Davina's apartment?  I think the place she lived in with Sean was actually not her place, as her real apartment was going through renovations.  It was disappointing, because I wanted to see her million Manhattan dollar apartment paid for by big pharma.

Also, at least Davina got the glamour and prestige of living in Manhattan (which was very important to her).

If Busboy is not able to afford a place near the beach, he will probably enjoy the glamour and prestige of a Walmart parking lot (land near the beach usually does not come cheap, even if you live on a bus).

[Jack Sampson]

26 minutes ago, qtpye said:

If Busboy is not able to afford a place near the beach, he will probably enjoy the glamour and prestige of a Walmart parking lot (land near the beach usually does not come cheap, even if you live on a bus).

IDK, those coaches can go for over a million used.  That can buy a nice place near the beach around Miami, you might need to settle for an apartment though.  And you could get a sick house farther north - which is where you want to be if you want to surf.

[qtpye]

17 minutes ago, Jack Sampson said:

IDK, those coaches can go for over a million used.  That can buy a nice place near the beach around Miami, you might need to settle for an apartment though.  And you could get a sick house farther north - which is where you want to be if you want to surf.

I really hope that is not how much he paid for that bus.  For that price he could have gotten a lovely little bungalow right on the beach.  It would not be too much space for maintenance and he could have gone surfing, everyday.  I think a lot of women would have liked that much better then the bus.  He just needs to find another surfer chic that shares his attitude (which does not seem to be the personality of the lady he was matched with).

[Stillhoping]

I don't get the concern about "the bus"....at least Tom owns something.

Doug/Ryan lived with family

didn't most of the other guys just rent? 

Tom can always sell the bus or rent it out.

Davina apparently had a good condo..Sam had a deal/bought a foreclosed townhome in recession...but weren't the rest just renters>>>??

I think the 3 guys are pretty decent looking this time and the "experts" mentioned they were earning good money etc, good providers...??

[zxy556575]

This show is weirdly cagey about peoples' jobs, but if it's portrayed honestly, I'd be interested to see Heather's work schedule.

A lot of domestic flights don't require layovers and flight attendants with seniority would likely win their bids for those schedules. These are a friend's current shift requirements: no workday over 13 scheduled hours, at least 9 hours between shifts, no more than 6 work days in a row and 140 total work hours a month.

[TwirlyGirly]

5 hours ago, lordonia said:

This show is weirdly cagey about peoples' jobs, but if it's portrayed honestly, I'd be interested to see Heather's work schedule.

A lot of domestic flights don't require layovers and flight attendants with seniority would likely win their bids for those schedules. These are a friend's current shift requirements: no workday over 13 scheduled hours, at least 9 hours between shifts, no more than 6 work days in a row and 140 total work hours a month.

A bit of airline/flight attendant trivia; flight attendant flying hours are calculated by what is known as "block to block" time. You may have noticed when an aircraft is parked at a gate, there are wooden wedge-shaped blocks under the tires to prevent the aircraft from rolling. When it's time for the aircraft to push back from the gate, ground crew removes the blocks. When the aircraft arrives at its destination and parks at the gate, blocks are placed on the tires again.

For purposes of calculating the number of hours flight attendants fly, and also how much they are paid (pay for flying time is different - and higher than - pay for time spent at the airport) "flying" begins when the blocks are removed, and ends when the blocks are replaced - hence "block to block" time.

[Jax7917]

I really believe this show has the worst experts/matchmakers ever. I mean come on, from one glance I can tell these are horrible matches. I agree that Lillian and Tom have no chance. Number 1, shes 24 years old. Girl needs to go on some more real world dates before she resorts to this. Number 2, I'm not saying you should have to be  a super model to be matched with someone, but Tom is a good looking guy. Lillian is busted . While looks are certainly not everything, they should at least have average looking people on the show. This season, I think the guys are all pretty cute. Heather and even Sonia are not drop dead gorgeous, but good enough looking. However, Lillian is just yikes. In addition, he needs to be matched with someone who loves the outdoors/ water sports which I'm sure is relatively easy to find. The "experts" always fail to match people based on interests and commonalities. They always try to do the opposites attract thing, and use that as the sole reason to match them, which for the most part doesn't generally work. I find that the couples who seem to last in any situation have to have similar hobbies. I believe every season so far they have used the opposites attract approach, and none of those people connected or are still together.

[ExplainItAgain]

It's interesting one of the experts asked one of the potentials about feeling the need for someone to "complete" him. It seems like instead of the experts thinking that each person is complete and they need someone to COMPLEMENT them, rather they think that each person is a HALF and they need another HALF to balance them out. So they tend to think in opposites. Like, oh, John is adventurous and social and maybe a little flighty, he needs someone like Jane who is a homebody, stable and practical. Of course, occasionally opposites do attract (and last). Our experts prove the adage that even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

[psychoticstate]

I don't think Lillian is "busted."  In fact, I think she seems like a sweet, caring girl, which makes her attractive.  But she's still only 24.

I do agree that Tom needs someone who is going to like the beach lifestyle and maybe even the nomad thing, if he's truly living full-time in the bus.  He did mention wanting to travel in the bus so I'd be willing to bet that he really lives elsewhere and the bus is going to be for travel.  And drama.

I agree that all three of the men are attractive.  We'll see how long that lasts.

[Nowhere]

18 hours ago, Stillhoping said:

I don't get the concern about "the bus"....at least Tom owns something.

Doug/Ryan lived with family

didn't most of the other guys just rent? 

Tom can always sell the bus or rent it out.

Davina apparently had a good condo..Sam had a deal/bought a foreclosed townhome in recession...but weren't the rest just renters>>>??

I think the 3 guys are pretty decent looking this time and the "experts" mentioned they were earning good money etc, good providers...??

I don't think the bus is the problem. I think the concern is whether he would be willing to live somewhere other than the bus. The couples on previous seasons kept their own places but got another place together for the show. I don't think this will be any different but if he is insistent upon living on the bus, well, that's probably why he's still single. Bus living isn't for everyone.

[Neurochick]

I'm watching this again and I have some more observations:

When someone would introduce themselves, they'd say their last time, but the closed captioning disagreed with that.  

Nick said that he smoked, interesting that it hasn't been brought up.

They would have picked a black couple, but the man, Quintin, who was 6'8", had a sales job and had to drop out, they matched him with the woman who was a you tuber.  I really think they wanted Quintin, he was reality TV gold, big guy, big personality.

They should have picked the black woman who was a hairstylist and owned a hair extension company.  Originally they picked her for Tom, but never explained why they chose Lily over her.  

They interviewed two black women, one was a virgin, the other a Seventh Day Adventist; interesting.  

Derek wasn't the first choice for Heather.  The first choice for her was a black man, but the experts were worried because he was very concerned about how his partner looked, and he wanted someone "exotic."

Doesn't seem that Tom is going to give up the bus any time soon and that makes me wonder why they picked him in the first place.  They should have picked Lee, the lifeguard over Tom.  Lifecoach lady was like, "there's no mobility with Lee," but is there any mobility with Tom?   

I really liked Sonia and I am glad they picked her, I liked that she's a social worker; but the reason they matched her with Nick was strange.

What is Derek's job?

I thought it was interesting that two women dropped out, one had pressure from her family, the other had pressure from her job.

[Evil Queen]

Derek is an account executive. If you look at what it says on the FYI site, it also says he likes working on his music in the studio. I don't remember that mentioned in this episode or anywhere else. 

Btw, I like Sonia. It was funny but my daughter goes to SCATS on Fridays and last night this mom was waiting for her little one. The lady totally looked like a bit older version of Sonia. Similar facial features and everything. LOL 

[twenangst]

i got that right, didn't i? one of the couples got matched because they both "love their mum"? well, that should form the basis for a deep connection...

[love2lovebadtv]

On 8/1/2016 at 10:36 PM, Stillhoping said:

I don't get the concern about "the bus"....at least Tom owns something.

Doug/Ryan lived with family

didn't most of the other guys just rent? 

Tom can always sell the bus or rent it out.

Davina apparently had a good condo..Sam had a deal/bought a foreclosed townhome in recession...but weren't the rest just renters>>>??

I think the 3 guys are pretty decent looking this time and the "experts" mentioned they were earning good money etc, good providers...??

I don't see anything wrong with being "just" a renter, especially if you're looking to get married. Nothing wrong with owning either but I think it's nice when a married couple starting out can buy their place together. 

[love2lovebadtv]

On 8/13/2016 at 3:41 PM, Neurochick said:

I'm watching this again and I have some more observations:

When someone would introduce themselves, they'd say their last time, but the closed captioning disagreed with that.  

Nick said that he smoked, interesting that it hasn't been brought up.

They would have picked a black couple, but the man, Quintin, who was 6'8", had a sales job and had to drop out, they matched him with the woman who was a you tuber.  I really think they wanted Quintin, he was reality TV gold, big guy, big personality.

They should have picked the black woman who was a hairstylist and owned a hair extension company.  Originally they picked her for Tom, but never explained why they chose Lily over her.  

They interviewed two black women, one was a virgin, the other a Seventh Day Adventist; interesting.  

Derek wasn't the first choice for Heather.  The first choice for her was a black man, but the experts were worried because he was very concerned about how his partner looked, and he wanted someone "exotic."

Doesn't seem that Tom is going to give up the bus any time soon and that makes me wonder why they picked him in the first place.  They should have picked Lee, the lifeguard over Tom.  Lifecoach lady was like, "there's no mobility with Lee," but is there any mobility with Tom?   

I really liked Sonia and I am glad they picked her, I liked that she's a social worker; but the reason they matched her with Nick was strange.

What is Derek's job?

I thought it was interesting that two women dropped out, one had pressure from her family, the other had pressure from her job.

Why on earth would they have picked the YouTuber for the tall black guy? That's just not a good match,  in my opinion. If her YouTube channel was already successful,  then maybe. But he is self-sufficient and would expect his partner to be also. He was raised by a single mom and would probably not identify with her doing YouTube as a profession and not making money from it. Also, the living room where she was sitting with her YouTube camera looked more luxurious than his apartment. I dunno.  I just don't see it. 

On 8/13/2016 at 4:46 PM, Evil Queen said:

Derek is an account executive. If you look at what it says on the FYI site, it also says he likes working on his music in the studio. I don't remember that mentioned in this episode or anywhere else. 

Btw, I like Sonia. It was funny but my daughter goes to SCATS on Fridays and last night this mom was waiting for her little one. The lady totally looked like a bit older version of Sonia. Similar facial features and everything. LOL 

Does anyone know how long Derek was in the military? They were vague about his current career so I got the sense that he was in the military for a while.  Did I miss something? 

[love2lovebadtv]

On 7/28/2016 at 10:59 AM, humbleopinion said:

The way the producers have edited Lillian's story, her Daddy disappearing from her life issues is front and center.

The white picket fence may not come into play if Tom can promise to never leave her literally and emotionally.

 She also wanted a husband who could read her mind and do things without her asking.

Hope his telepathic powers are strong.

Of course, in the bus they will never be more than 8 feet apart so the mind reading waves only have a short distance to travel.

I guess I misunderstood.  I thought she meant romantic gestures like buying flowers.  I'm not into flowers but I have a friend who is and is always bummed that her husband never buys them for her unless she specifically asks him to.  Which,  to me,  is crazy because she could just buy them herself. What I thought lilly meant was her husband knows she likes flowers so he surprises her with them.  

BTW I have no idea if she likes flowers or not.  Just using that as an example. It could easily be a massage when she's had a long day even if she didn't ask for it.  

[StayingAfterSunday]

On 8/2/2016 at 2:12 PM, psychoticstate said:

I don't think Lillian is "busted."  In fact, I think she seems like a sweet, caring girl, which makes her attractive.  But she's still only 24.

I do agree that Tom needs someone who is going to like the beach lifestyle and maybe even the nomad thing, if he's truly living full-time in the bus.  He did mention wanting to travel in the bus so I'd be willing to bet that he really lives elsewhere and the bus is going to be for travel.  And drama.

I agree that all three of the men are attractive.  We'll see how long that lasts.

24 is young, but not that young if a girl meets the guy she feels is "the one."  Tom is 28 which, to some, may feel is young for a guy in this situation.

In any case, I agree that all three guys are nice looking. As for the women, they are all attractive, as well, even Heather when she has her make up on and the dour expression is gone.  Her complexion is beautiful, too. Lillian's exuberant personality is a plus.  And Sonia's expressive eyes....  

[Lola16]

5 hours ago, love2lovebadtv said:

 

Does anyone know how long Derek was in the military? They were vague about his current career so I got the sense that he was in the military for a while.  Did I miss something? 

He's been out for 12 years so it doesn't seem like he was in for that long.  Maybe 4-6 years?