S11.E01: AGT Auditions Week 1 (Season Premiere)

[Wings]

New technology is going make clairvoyant acts obsolete very soon. 

http://www.spyville.com/minicameras.html

[needschocolate]

Acts like the bereavement couple always make me a little sad, because I think the audience is laughing at them, not with them.  I can believe that the couple thinks that the audience is laughing and smiling becasue she is so cute and her comments are adorable and clever, but I feel that the audience is laughing for much more superficial reasons.  If she was thin or younger, they would been have been X'ed off the show.  But, because she is a chubby woman in her 60's her dancing around in a short dress, they are hilarious.  

[marketdoctor]

Quote

Acts like the bereavement couple always make me a little sad, because I think the audience is laughing at them, not with them

That can happen, but in my case, that wasn't true.  I saw two people who had known how to enjoy life, and wanted the audience to share their joy.  If there's such a thing as "inner beauty", then maybe there's also an "inner talent", and that's what they were able to show.  They knew they weren't the most technically proficient, but that wasn't their act--their act was to be the life of the party (a karaoke party, not lip-synced), give it their all, and enjoyed the daylights out of what they did.  They were glad to take us with them, and I enjoyed the ride.  

Another possibility is that they knew they didn't think of themselves as great, but they saw greatness in each other (displaced Dunning-Kruger effect?), and they were *nice* about it--so I wanted to see what was best in them.  If they'd been egotistical about themselves, it wouldn't have worked, but when they made it about each other, that gave us a point of entry to try to see what they were seeing, even if it wasn't there.  That is the magic of inner talent.  

[friendperidot]

markdoctor, such a nice thing to say. sometimes I wish I could be like you when I grow up. but most of the time, at 65, I know it's not going to happen

[UsernameGoesHere]

When did Heidi become the sensible judge on this show? She's the only one saying no to some of these ridiculous acts.

 

Meathook guy - nope. I remember Brad Byers doing that same trick a few years ago, except he pulled a wagon with the hook instead of hanging from it.

[Panopticon]

On 6/1/2016 at 6:46 PM, SnarkyTart said:

Oh hai, Nick Cannon.  He's always been my favorite of all the talent show hosts.  He's smart, hysterical, up for anything, and just seems so "real" to me.  Plus, his socks!

And he always does so well handling all different kinds of people in all different kinds of moods when he's ushering someone of the stage. He's so likable and so much fun... when, as another poster noted, they don't go overboard with cheesy backstage play-alongs.

On 6/2/2016 at 0:55 AM, helenamonster said:

Speaking of kids, hated the kid comedian. Ugh, he told two jokes and neither one was original. He sounds like his parents have just been plopping him in front of DVDs of hacky '90s stand-up specials.

That was not an auspicious opening. "I write my own material! Which just happens to be word-for-word the same as jokes that have been around for over 20 years!" 

15 hours ago, marketdoctor said:

Another possibility is that they knew they didn't think of themselves as great, but they saw greatness in each other (displaced Dunning-Kruger effect?), and they were *nice* about it--so I wanted to see what was best in them.  If they'd been egotistical about themselves, it wouldn't have worked, but when they made it about each other, that gave us a point of entry to try to see what they were seeing, even if it wasn't there.  That is the magic of inner talent.  

What a kind way of looking at things. 

[Kromm]

On 6/2/2016 at 8:56 AM, wings707 said:

The judges do not know anything about the acts before they see them perform.  This is done purposely to get a genuine reaction. On the British version Simon had no idea who Susan Boyle was, his reaction to her was not an act; he was floored. 

If it helps you watch this., then believe that. But Simon is a fairly active producer. Acts that have done well on another major version of the show, he often knows about beforehand because they're always recruiting. However many times he says something like "I've never seen anything like that before". 

Susan Boyle had not been on any other version, ergo it's at least possible he legitimately didn't know about her. There are certainly production assistants who handle the pre-interviews/first stage auditions and certainly don't run that level of detail in front of him. That doesn't mean he's ignorant of previously successful acts. One does not prove the other.

[backformore]

The hook in the nose guy had me unable to look at the Tv.  I don't get how that is a talent. Yeah Mel, if you can't watch, don't subject us to the act.  Just say no. The freak show aspect creeps me out.  Yeah, Heidi is the only one who is making sense.   

Edited June 3, 2016 by backformore

[Wings]

2 hours ago, Kromm said:

If it helps you watch this., then believe that. But Simon is a fairly active producer. Acts that have done well on another major version of the show, he often knows about beforehand because they're always recruiting. However many times he says something like "I've never seen anything like that before". 

Susan Boyle had not been on any other version, ergo it's at least possible he legitimately didn't know about her. There are certainly production assistants who handle the pre-interviews/first stage auditions and certainly don't run that level of detail in front of him. That doesn't mean he's ignorant of previously successful acts. One does not prove the other.

"If it helps you watch this., then believe that."  This is condescending.  

Of course Simon knows about those who have been on other versions!  We often do too.   

I am looking for the interview with Simon talking about the importance of the judges seeing the acts cold.  I will post it if I can find it.  This was years ago. 

Simon, does not cast the acts, he has a casting team.  

[dstranger99]

I thought the guy with the tape over his mouth was pretty original.....

[marketdoctor]

Thanks for the kind words.

I wonder how they're going to follow up this week, besides a rapid rerun tonight.

[backformore]

I agree that the kid comic is not going to last.  He makes up his own jokes?  No, a variation of that ADHD joke has been around for years.  My son had a t-shirt that said "it's not that I have ADD,it's just , oh look! A squirrel!"  That was about 10 years ago.  

[mustbekarma]

I just watched the rerun, and it was awesome. I loved every act, for different reasons. I thought the kid comic was adorkable. I don't care that he's not going to make it; I just had fun watching him tonight. The Tape Face comic made me laugh so hard. I've always hated the comedians on this show. People saying stupid stuff doesn't amuse me. Tape Face was funnier than all those guys put together and never uttered a single word. It was genius. I loved the 13 year old opera singer. Instead of a country girl singing "God Bless the USA" while draped in an American flag costume, I got another possible Jackie Evancho. I'll take an opera singer over a country singer any day. Or a screaming kid singing about zombies or dead puppies or whatever.

I cringed and laughed during the hook through the nose act. It was something I could never imagine seeing, and it was disgustingly glorious.

The bad acts were hysterically bad. The dancing lady cougar with her Elvis wannabe singing boyfriend was awesome. They just owned the awfulness of her act. Simon Cowell always loves someone who can sass him humorously.

That shaving cream danger act was awfully....awesome. Of course, the act was bad. However, that led to Heidi shoving Nick into the pool and them chasing everbody else to smoosh them with shaving cream. To ... the... tune ... of...Yakety Sax. Seriously, I enjoyed this sequence more than I enjoyed this version of Yakety Sax, Walking Dead style.

I was thoroughly entertained this entire episode. I haven't had as much fun since the season with Kenichi Ebina, the Kristef Brothers, and Timber Brown.

[Frankenstein123]

Well this was an enjoyable start to the season. I was worried that with Simon's return the show would go back to the way it used to be with an overload of mediocre pop singers taking up most of our air time. Thankfully my fears were unfounded (so far) and the episode was a nice mixture of singers/variety/comedy. 

I also enjoyed the chemistry between the old judges and Simon, everyone seemed to be in good spirits and nothing felt forced. I was worried they would play up the "Simon is the MEAN judge" card like they used to with Piers, but was pleasantly surprised to see him act like does of Britains Got Talent. If anything, Heidi seemed the hardest to please this episode. Speaking of which, I also watch BGT so I can say that Simon has gotten a lot more mellow over the years and has a strange liking to a lot of weird/bad acts he tends to send through just to amuse himself. Only time will tell if everything continues to work as nicely as it did here, but so far I'm enjoying what I'm seeing.

My 2 cents for some of the more noteworthy auditions:

Ryan Stock - Sideshow gross-out acts are dime a dozen on this show, but I enjoyed the added spice of comedy and showmanship that Ryan brought on stage, as opposed to the usual "I haven't showered in 2 years and only listen to hardcore punk rock LOOK HOW EDGY I AM" style other similar acts have gone for.  I don't think he has much of a future on the show simply due to the limited appeal, but it's going to be fun seeing him again if only for the reactions. 

Laura Bretan - Another year, another rendition of Nessun Dorma. Child singers have become one of those categories on this show that just DON'T impress/surprise any more. The fact that Simon can still go "SHE CAN SING LIKE THAT AND SHE'S ONLy 12? OMGWTFPANCAKES NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THAT IN MY LIFE" after spending 10 seasons on BGT either means he thinks we are stupid or has developed alzheimers. That being said, I found her charming and likable enough to not be TOO annoyed by the golden buzzer.

Hara - Easily the most visually impressive act of the episode. It seems people are getting tired of FX dancers after years of stuff like Fighting Gravity, Team Iluminate and especially after Kenichi's victory. It's probably what cost Siro-A the final spot last year. That being said, this was an unique spin on the formula by essentially being a magic act disguised as a special effects show. And I think it looked much more impressive/interesting than the usual mess of random graphics most dance groups have had in the past. History has proven to not get too excited over these acts as they tend to burn out before the final, but I still find them impressive to look at and I'd take one of these over another singing kid ANY day. 

The Clairvoyants - I want a swing like that in my living room. I don't care if I don't have space, I want one. I thought this was great fun, of course all the mentalism mumbo jumbo is BS even if Simon is violently shaking a candle in his living room trying to fend off curses and witches. It' all a trick, but part of the fun is making it look so smooth and easy that people begin to doubt. They performed a trick I haven't seen in a long while and did it with enough style/showmanship that I look forward to them in the future. 

Tape Face - A prime example of why I watch this show, something unique, quirky, fun and unpredictable. He's been EXPLODING on youtube and seems to be gaining more popularity with each minute so he might have quite the fan base by the end of this. There's really only 2 ways this act can go now, either he will completely bomb by choosing the wrong skit to do or go very far even when people initially doubted him (like the regurgitator), either way I'm rooting for him. 

Overall, a VERY promising start to the season. Looking forward to the next 1,473 weeks of this.  

[PepperMonkey]

So... LOL to the third power @ the next 1473 weeks of this!

I quite enjoyed Simon, and you have to give kudos to him as the creator or one of the creators of the _GT oeuvre anyway. I have missed having a sort of mean spirited Brit on the show (not Sharon) so it's nice to have that back. Howie and Heidi can still go any time, BUT I did appreciate that Heidi said no to some of the acts because she has been the one in the past to send some of them through when not deserved.

TapeFace = my fave. Opera Girl = my LEAST fave. She's a cute young girl, but has Howie lost his mind when he goes on and on about how it's the most original thing he's ever seen when he was actually a judge ON the season that Jackie Evancho almost WON??? That wasn't that long ago, either. Also, we have a singing opera kid every. frakking. year. This is nothing new, and frankly, it's a tradition I wish would fall by the wayside.

Looking forward to the season, but I do hope it doesn't turn into a singing contest. Even with Idol and American XFactor gone, The Voice is more than enough singing for me.

Edited June 4, 2016 by PepperMonkey
*spelling correct.

[Wings]

3 hours ago, PepperMonkey said:

 

 

I quite enjoyed Simon, and you have to give kudos to him as the creator or one of the creators of the _GT oeuvre anyway. I

 

I adore Simon but I find myself missing Piers. 

[PepperMonkey]

I miss Piers, too. I always liked him, when almost everyone else seemed to hate him.

I will forever remember his reaction to Susan Boyle on BGT; Piers' almost brought me to tears, he was so overjoyed at the sound of her voice.

[Wandering Snark]

On 6/1/2016 at 11:55 PM, helenamonster said:

I find the fawning over opera so weird on this show.

I was only surprised it took this long into the first episode for everyone to lose their complete shit over an operatic voice being even possible for a human to learn. And this year's incarnation really did seem to be lipsynching, maybe because there was no vocal build up, just BAM! opera... but yes part of this show's peculiarly overreacting to opera is that it simultaneously acts like it's also never been done/seen before. It drives me a little nuts...

Also I would personally enjoy more if they just said 'There are enough shows that do singing better than us, so we'll just do "variety" acts this year' mainly because the show in general has a tendency to do a pared down version of the opera freak out for anyone who can sing or even more amazingly sing while playing a guitar!!

[UncleChuck]

Quote

Heidi was the voice of reason and nixed that crazy couple, he sang, she "danced."   Simon created this show and within the format clearly he wants some totally stupid acts to go through.  I was expecting him to be more harsh.  Piers would have Xed that act.

Piers would not only have Xed the act, he would have speechified loudly his indignation that lesser beings had forced him to sit through it--and even worse--those cretins (Howie) he was forced to sit with had proved their inferiority by actually giving "Yesses"

I rather like when the judges try to be honest with the bad acts, but Piers had such a stick up his b*tt that he never saw the humor.

[Wings]

19 hours ago, PepperMonkey said:

I miss Piers, too. I always liked him, when almost everyone else seemed to hate him.

I will forever remember his reaction to Susan Boyle on BGT; Piers' almost brought me to tears, he was so overjoyed at the sound of her voice.

That was Simon.  

[Anakerie]

Re:  the mentalist.  I know that Google patented a type of contact lens with a camera in it.  That's all I can think of, that they were both wearing the contacts and she was "seeing" through his eyes. 

There was something I read the other day about Simon. He said that having a child of his own made him think twice about ripping apart someone else's child on stage, because now he know what that would feel like. He does seem completely smitten with his little boy. Although I suspect he's going to get around this by, in a few years, trotting the child out as a judge and letting Junior rip people a new one. "Last time I smelled something that rotten, Nanny said I needed a new nappie!"

[Wings]

19 minutes ago, Anakerie said:

Re:  the mentalist.  I know that Google patented a type of contact lens with a camera in it.  That's all I can think of, that they were both wearing the contacts and she was "seeing" through his eyes. 

There was something I read the other day about Simon. He said that having a child of his own made him think twice about ripping apart someone else's child on stage, because now he know what that would feel like. He does seem completely smitten with his little boy. Although I suspect he's going to get around this by, in a few years, trotting the child out as a judge and letting Junior rip people a new one. "Last time I smelled something that rotten, Nanny said I needed a new nappie!"

I thought of this, too.  It is the only explanation.  

http://mashable.com/2016/04/05/samsung-smart-contact-lenses-patent/#9TAKqjZKzPqH

[helenamonster]

I have no desire to see any of the judges rip apart a child onstage, but being afraid to tell a child that they're just not quite good enough to make the cut isn't right either. You can nicely tell a kid that you think they have potential but that they should train up and come back in a few years. 

[UsernameGoesHere]

On Saturday, June 04, 2016 at 1:56 AM, Frankenstein123 said:

The fact that Simon can still go "SHE CAN SING LIKE THAT AND SHE'S ONLy 12? OMGWTFPANCAKES NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THAT IN MY LIFE" after spending 10 seasons on BGT either means he thinks we are stupid or has developed alzheimers.

Yup. I hate when the judges say this stuff when it's something we see every single season. I also hate how every act is the "best" they've ever seen. "This is the BEST dance act I've ever seen!" "This is the BEST contortion ever on AGT." "You are the BEST musical act in 10 years of AGT." These comments have no meaning at this point.

[Simon Boccanegra]

On 6/2/2016 at 0:55 AM, helenamonster said:

Idk about the opera girl. On the one hand, we as a society should have moved past the "OMG SMOL CHILD SINGS OPERA????" stage once Jackie Evancho made her debut. I find the fawning over opera so weird on this show. I think a lot of people consider it very high brow...it's a very particular taste of art/entertainment, and there's this perception that to enjoy it is to be sophisticated and intellectual. I think because of this people who aren't experienced with opera have a hard time telling what's good and what's bad. I don't have an ear for opera at all, but I still felt like this girl was just kind of yelling. She seemed very sweet but I'm just really, really over kid singers.

That is a good point. I don't think it's necessarily a good thing for opera that it is seen as highbrow and intellectual. That probably keeps people who might enjoy it from going. You'll hear people say, "I should go to [whatever, Tosca, let's say]. I/we/the kids need a little culture." So it's something potentially enriching, like vegetables, instead of one among many performing-arts pastimes that can be entertaining, fun, beautiful. It isn't even that hard to get into now, with simultaneous translations in every theater, and the Met beaming performances into movie theaters every season. The stereotype of lorgnette-carrying snobs or Frasier-and-Niles aesthetes is pervasive, but not really representative of the whole audience.  

On the topic of the girl, I'll try to be kind. Maybe she was nervous. I don't really need to hear another little girl singing a tenor aria from Turandot, but this one's pitch was shaky and her vibrato not well controlled (the two things are related, actually; she was oscillating so widely that it was hard for her to land on and stay on the written pitches). She may have had some voice lessons, but that doesn't guarantee a good performance, and even the kind of singer for whom "Nessun dorma" was actually written wouldn't be advised by a good teacher to sing it at that age. Granted, she's singing it into a microphone, not projecting unamplified like a real opera singer, but still.

Jackie Evancho was more poised and vocally "together" at the same shtick, if memory serves...which it may not.  

On 6/2/2016 at 8:56 AM, wings707 said:

Ever read the plots to these famous opera's?  Some read like a chick flick.  They are very basic tropes  and would never get a good review if they were a standard musical. 

Well, on the other hand, it is a 400-year-old art form, so it's hard to say much in a categorical way about literary quality. Some of them do have silly plots and cardboard characters that are just there to hang tunes on, but not all. Famous operas have been faithfully based on the works of Virgil, Sophocles, Shakespeare, Hugo, Schiller, Pushkin, Goethe, Melville, Wilde, Maeterlinck, James, Mann, et cetera...esteemed writers all. Your point stands in many cases about the basic tropes, but those are in the sources. Even some with original libretti were the work of great writers. Hugo von Hofmannsthal's libretto for Richard Strauss's Der Rosenkavalier, for example, would stand up well as a spoken play. Very wordy monologues, with a lot of gorgeous language. 

Edited June 7, 2016 by Simon Boccanegra

[marketdoctor]

Weren't the guys who did the Spice Girls act from South Florida?  In times of tragedy we hope for the people we know, and look for connections--perhaps because we're looking for what survival strategies worked, or because we want to make sense of a senseless act.  Either way, prayers and well wishes for the people of Orlando, and I hope the Spice Girls (both original ones and the drag act) are OK.

[Jordan27]

On ‎5‎/‎31‎/‎2016 at 11:42 PM, The Hound Lives said:

The 13 year old opera singer was pretty decent but I wasn't floored. Was I the only one who thought her reactions where phony? She was all timid and meek with her "My Mom helps me by singing with me" and "There are so many talented people..." just felt fake. It reminded me of Taylor Swift, early in her career, who would be all "aww shucks" when people applauded. And the non-existent tears. I just felt like it was a put on. Maybe she is that precious but I'm not buying it.. 

Conspiracy time.  Oh my. 

She seemed real to me.  A girl couldn't act that unless she was an actor.

[Jordan27]

On ‎6‎/‎1‎/‎2016 at 10:52 AM, Laurie4H said:

Am I the only one who thinks this show is completely staged? Fake and scripted.  Nobody else noticed the fake audience reaction shots?  Especially the ones where they have a mic on and you can here them commenting.  

More conspiracy.  Why would they need to stage anything?  There are many audience shots.  They may not always use the one's that happened during that act, but that's editing.

On ‎6‎/‎1‎/‎2016 at 0:08 PM, sharifa70 said:

I thought the opera girl was over-hyped. She has potential, sure, but she is definitely in need of coaching: her breathing was off and she didn't have enough support to sustain long notes - she cut some of them off too soon. Just her posture when she was speaking told me she hasn't had the formal training she's going to need if she ever hopes to make a living out of singing. She needs to back off and start a little smaller, build up that potentially wonderful voice, then tackle those big arias. 

This is an audition, not the NY Met.  She was outstanding for her age and most of you are ridiculous in your criticism of her.

[Jordan27]

On ‎6‎/‎1‎/‎2016 at 1:36 PM, Laurie4H said:

And nobody thinks that maybe the judges and audience member who gave them her phone where all in on it?  Also I think the opera girl was lipsyncing.

And yet another conspiracy theory.  Some of you don't want to believe anything. 

Phony magic and phony singing.  Oh my.  There is no reason for a show to do that and get caught. 

[The Hound Lives]

On 7/7/2016 at 1:00 AM, Jordan27 said:

More conspiracy.  Why would they need to stage anything?  There are many audience shots.  They may not always use the one's that happened during that act, but that's editing.

This is an audition, not the NY Met.  She was outstanding for her age and most of you are ridiculous in your criticism of her.

People are simply stating their opinions. I thought she was fine but I wasn't floored. I also found her reactions corny and fake. It's not conspiracy, it's opinion. Shouldn't be too hard to grasp but maybe it is. You may have loved her. Many others weren't so impressed. No need to take it so personally. 

[Jordan27]

2 minutes ago, The Hound Lives said:

People are simply stating their opinions. I thought she was fine but I wasn't floored. I also found her reactions corny and fake. It's not conspiracy, it's opinion. Shouldn't be too hard to grasp but maybe it is. You may have loved her. Many others weren't so impressed. No need to take it so personally. 

The opinions sounded like conspiracy theories.   That shouldn't be to hard to grasp for you. 

And most were impressed.  Did you see the crowd?

[The Hound Lives]

On 7/12/2016 at 10:49 PM, Jordan27 said:

The opinions sounded like conspiracy theories.   That shouldn't be to hard to grasp for you. 

And most were impressed.  Did you see the crowd?

The moon landing being filmed on a sound stage is a conspiracy theory. The shooter on the grassy knoll is a conspiracy theory. Commenting that a young performer seemed to be lip-syncing or was phony in her reaction isn't a conspiracy theory, it's opinion. Sure I saw the crowd. They are allowed to be impressed. I wasn't. For whatever reason, that opinion seems to hurt your feelings. I would say "sorry" but I have nothing to be sorry about. Knowing that others have a different opinion is part of life and I grasp that concept just fine. 

[Jordan27]

On ‎7‎/‎15‎/‎2016 at 8:11 AM, The Hound Lives said:

The moon landing being filmed on a sound stage is a conspiracy theory. The shooter on the grassy knoll is a conspiracy theory. Commenting that a young performer seemed to be lip-syncing or was phony in her reaction isn't a conspiracy theory, it's opinion. Sure I saw the crowd. They are allowed to be impressed. I wasn't. For whatever reason, that opinion seems to hurt your feelings. I would say "sorry" but I have nothing to be sorry about. Knowing that others have a different opinion is part of life and I grasp that concept just fine. 

You seem to be the one upset that I have a different opinion. 

And a conspiracy theory doesn't have to be a big event.   Lip-syncing would be a conspiracy theory as the show would be in big trouble if they did that and there is no reason for them too.