S05.E11: Jackie

[WhineandCheez]

Again with the crying, crying, crying, which shows depression is a bigger factor in extreme obesity than food choices or exercise.  Jackie was very pretty.  Mom looked really thin and young. Chris is just a super sweetheart, but I am kinda tired of the "Gravely concerned face at weigh- in" when 9 times out of 10 the contestant has just lost like 99 pounds when they were supposed to lose 100.

[Chip]

Jackie (Denver, CO) was a fit athlete in high school, but she put on more than 100 pounds (reaching a total of 266 pounds) after her newborn baby suffered Shaken Baby Syndrome at the hands of the nanny. The incident resulted in brain damage that the child still lives with 16 years later. Jackie is hoping to lose the excess weight that continues to hold her back and gather the strength to forgive the nanny who changed their lives forever.

 

[MakeMeLaugh]

This episode really bothered me, mostly the untold back story of why Jackie's family had pretty much cut all ties with her for the past three years (we could hear Jackie calling out her alcohol use to her mother as a cause of her undescribed bad behavior toward her family, but the show never mentioned that as an issue for her) and the constant alluding of Hunter not being the boy he should have been, especially to his face. Poor kid. I hope that is not the case in their real life and that they look ahead and not back. Kudos to her disowning family and the caregiver for staying off camera.

How could Chris be worried that she might not have met her third quarter goal when it was "lose as much weight as you want/can"? And doesn't he give his clients a cheat day--maybe the donut caper was on that day.

But mostly a big fat Yay for no Heidi.

Edited August 26, 2015 by MakeMeLaugh

[Jadzia]

I felt bad for the never-mentioned other daughter. She was there but the mom only seemed focused on Hunter. She never mentioned her other child and I don't even recall her name.

 

I kept thinking there must have been more to the story with her parents. Why would they uninvited her to the wedding after leaving a tearful voicemail? Why turn around at the door when they saw her? All because she sent a bad email on Christmas Eve? Something didn't add up. It was strange that the woman who shook her son was nicer to her coming to her door than her own mother.

 

I agree that the "lose as much weight as you can goal" wasn't really a goal. That said, I thought she looked great at her weigh-ins. Even her skin seemed to go back nicely. She only really looked like she needed a tummy tuck, not the full on skin removal that most of the contestants need at 9 months.

 

[Edited typo]

Edited August 26, 2015 by Jadzia

[camom]

I got the feeling that there wasn't just one negative email to this story.  There was probably a series of behaviors that make her family feel the way they do.  They don't trust that her apologies are sincere and that probably comes from experience.  The fact that she was so very very angry that her family wasn't there for her like she thought they should be when her son was injured said a lot.  I can see wanting and needing support, but I got the feeling that she thought they should all drop everything in their lives to be with her.  She even said that she felt like a victim for years.  People with a victim mentality are exhausting to be around.

[WhineandCheez]

(we could hear Jackie calling out her alcohol use to her mother as a cause of her undescribed bad behavior toward her family, but the show never mentioned that as an issue for her)

 

You forgot the cigarettes.  Yes cigarettes always cause a person to write nasty vituperative letters on Christmas Eve that make your family refuse to speak to you for 3 years.

 

I want to hear what is was that the family did that was so bad after Hunter got injured.  not to be a bitch, but was it something like telling her to move on and make do, like 2-3 years after it happened? Did it have anything to do with the court cases?  I wonder.

[MakeMeLaugh]

Totally agree camom. Her fam seemed to have written her off three years earlier so reading between the lines they may have just thrown up their hands at her after years of poor behavior on her part and employed tough love. The details are nobody's business but theirs, but it might have been helpful for some viewers in similar situations to know something general. I think this episode skirted around something and lumped everything into "her weight gain was caused by overeating to cope with her son's health," when she clearly (to me) had more issues than that.

I liked last week when Mitzi had visible psychological support, and to me the value in this show and others like it is being able to take something from it to apply to myself. Like Amy van Dyken Rouen, swimming superstar now a paraplegic--how incredibly inspirational is she. People like her teach me that I don't have to curl up and hide when faced with adversity. What a pleasure to see her on this show this week.

Edited August 26, 2015 by MakeMeLaugh

[camom]

Jackie defined her entire life by what happened to her son.  Yes, it was horrific and wrong.  Yes, it changed his life forever.  But I think she even said she hadn't been happy since that day (must have made her daughter feel great).  When she looked at Hunter, she didn't see what a wonderful young man he was, she saw what he wasn't.  Rather than celebrate who he is, she grieves for who she thinks he could have been.  (And I say these things as the parent of a child who has developmental disabilities.) 

[guilfoyleatpp]

This is the first episode of this show that I watched.

I love reality tv and I was pretty horrified. It seemed like they forced her to "reconcile" with her family AND the abuser of her child in order to get a free surgery.  

 

It reminded me A LOT of The Swan.

 

Although I, like other posters, have a great deal of curiosity about what exactly was in that Christmas Eve email, I am also confused about what might have happened to put such a huge divide between Jackie and her family to begin with. She said her children didn't even know their grandparents. That was such a red flag to me. And how did a tearful voicemail to her parents end in a dis-invite from her brother's wedding?

 

I wouldn't want people like that in my child's life, and her desperation to be loved and make amends was so sad. I'm going to place the blame more on her family than on Jackie, because she seems very fucked up in a specific way.  I just hope she's not doing the Golden Child/Scapegoat thing to her son and daughter. It's hard to tell as we heard so little about the daughter.  Did they mention her name?

[Litnit]

It's hard to tell how much is editing and how much is a bad family dynamic, but everything was about Hunter, Hunter, Hunter.  Obviously having a child hurt like this would be devestating, but she focused so much on the negative without looking at how much her son has accomplished.

 

What kind of bullshit goal is "lose as much as you can"?  I keep saying this, but I'd like to see some counselling about what a healthy, appropriate weight would be for some of these people.  Regardless of what Heidi thinks, there is a comfortable range of weight that people can be without having major health concerns. Getting down to a weight that is a skinny as you can get is about aesthetics, not health.

 

Oh, and how is giving a gift certificate to somebody "paying it forward"?

 

I fast forwarded most of the family crap but in my experience, when somebody's whole family turns against them, I can't help but think that person, and not the whole family, may be the problem.  Hard to know, of course, without hearing the whole story.  

[DietCokeJunkie]

The daughter's name was mentioned.  It's Hannah. 

 

So why didn't Jackie have to strip down and weigh in at the 5K?  Maybe they're finally knocking it off with public humiliation?  

 

Chris seemed awfully forgiving about her Reese's Pieces binges. It was ok because she admitted it?  I don't get it. 

 

[Failbetter]

At like 1hr 20min the hubby says he took her camera cuz she'd been acting all weird and had been hiding in the bedroom all day. Then he points the cam at the drawer and opens it to pull out the bag of candy. On the table are many remnants of lines of powder along with 2 lines yet unused under the assumption that that is what they are. It's so blatantly visible but I haven't seen any convo about it. It seems like the hubby did it on purpose to expose. She was erratic as hell.

[gryphon]

Lots of unanswered family questions.....I still don't get why she was uninvited to the wedding? The whole show just had undercurrents of stuff.  I  liked Jackie's husband...he seemed involved and supportive.  And Amy van Dyken! Truly inspirational. 

I did feel bad for her daughter...and I agree with the above posters who mentioned that Jackie was concentrating on what Hunter could have been rather than the fine young man he is. 

 

 I am SO glad NO HEIDI!  Yay!

[Eeksquire]

 

I still don't get why she was uninvited to the wedding?

I think she was uninvited to the wedding because the brother (who was the only member of her family that "supported her" - whatever that means in this context) and his fiancee decided to get married at the parents' house.  I think we are meant to read between the lines and believe that the parents either didn't realize that she would be invited or that when she left the voicemail, they made it clear that she wasn't welcome at their home.

 

That said, the whole family storyline here is a little bizarre - they hate her so much that they want nothing to do with her... but they'll sign releases to let their photographs be shown on the show? Something about that doesn't sit quite right.

 

I really hope that the way they treat their daughter, as portrayed on the show, is not the way that she's treated IRL.  I'm going to choose to believe that she just wasn't necessary to the story the show was trying to tell and that's why they ignored her, as opposed to ignoring her all the time - at some point Jackie said that they had never openly discussed what had happened to Hunter as a family until the producer interviewed them, so I think there's a shot that that is actually the case.

[WhineandCheez]

Oh, and how is giving a gift certificate to somebody "paying it forward"?

 

Everytime I see this segment I think of the first 2 or 3 years for the show, each contestant had all of their food paid for by Walmart for the year AND THEN got a $25,000 (!) Walmart gift card at the end.

 

On the table are many remnants of lines of powder along with 2 lines yet unused under the assumption that that is what they are

 

She was doing coke! Holey cow I didn't see that part.

 

I feel so bad for the Invisible Daughter.  Maybe Walmart could pay for her therapy, jackie did a big number on her and she is so silent about everything too.

[camom]

 

That said, the whole family storyline here is a little bizarre - they hate her so much that they want nothing to do with her... but they'll sign releases to let their photographs be shown on the show? Something about that doesn't sit quite right.

 

The whole "surprising her parents by showing up on their doorstep" was weird.  They weren't on public property and they showed the mother's face, so at least mom had to sign a release.  

[Morgalisa]

 

She was doing coke! Holey cow I didn't see that part.

 

Me either.  But if she was doing coke, that would explain the weight loss while breaking all the dieting rules.

[guilfoyleatpp]

I didn't notice that, but lines to me also could mean meth. Which would explain why she was withdrawing and hiding.

 

Also, if she was dabbling in meth, it could help explain the xmas eve meltdown email that apparently just put her parents over the edge with her. Do they normally mention if someone has an addiction issue in this show as well?

[jjj]

This show, and shows like it, do screen their candidates before making the big investment to follow them for a year and provide the housing/training/financial support needed to get through a year of massive weight loss.  I am sure some candidates evaporate quickly in the first month of training.

 

But I have to wonder, in this case, if Jackie managed to hide some significant problems, like substance abuse and even more dysfunctional family situation than the producers bargained for.  If so, and these deeper issues became apparent well into the year, they might have decided to do the best they could to get Jackie to the end point and not focus on the substance abuse. Maybe that's why "lose as much as you can" became a goal. (?)

 

Was that her real family house that she "surprised", I wonder?  Does the show ever have candidates who have problems with alcohol or drugs?  Because alcohol can also be a big problem in someone with a significant weight problem.  Maybe candidates with alcohol issues get screened out?  I am new to this show! 

[Litnit]

I went back to see the alleged coke.  I think my finger got stuck on the ff the first time through.  LOL  It looked like white powder in line formation.  It also looked like there were scratch marks on the table.  Crazy town but I think she was snorting something.  It would explain a bit of the mania and the dysfunction with the family.

[ari333]

This is the first episode of this show that I watched.

I love reality tv and I was pretty horrified. It seemed like they forced her to "reconcile" with her family AND the abuser of her child in order to get a free surgery.  

 

It reminded me A LOT of The Swan.

 

Although I, like other posters, have a great deal of curiosity about what exactly was in that Christmas Eve email, I am also confused about what might have happened to put such a huge divide between Jackie and her family to begin with. She said her children didn't even know their grandparents. That was such a red flag to me. And how did a tearful voicemail to her parents end in a dis-invite from her brother's wedding?

 

I wouldn't want people like that in my child's life, and her desperation to be loved and make amends was so sad. I'm going to place the blame more on her family than on Jackie, because she seems very fucked up in a specific way.  I just hope she's not doing the Golden Child/Scapegoat thing to her son and daughter. It's hard to tell as we heard so little about the daughter.  Did they mention her name?

 

 

 

THIS! ^^^^^

...times ten

[backformore]

I got the feeling that there wasn't just one negative email to this story.  There was probably a series of behaviors that make her family feel the way they do.  They don't trust that her apologies are sincere and that probably comes from experience.  The fact that she was so very very angry that her family wasn't there for her like she thought they should be when her son was injured said a lot.  I can see wanting and needing support, but I got the feeling that she thought they should all drop everything in their lives to be with her.  She even said that she felt like a victim for years.  People with a victim mentality are exhausting to be around.

I was reading between the lines and thought that "not having her family's support"   might have meant  FINANICAL support .  Maybe she hit them up for money, and they eventually cut her off.   Just a thought -  her parents looked like they lived in a nice house, and she was SO focused on her son's disability, she might have thought she was owed something. I didn't see anything indicating drug use, but it makes sense.  Even loving, caring parents will  cut off relationships with kids who aren't clean and sober.  Maybe "alcohol and cigarettes"  was a euphemism for something else.

 

I HATED her using her son's disability to showcase her own struggle.  Yes, he has a disability.   But he's also a human being, trying to be his own man, eventually, and deserves to not be exploited.   There is no reason to put on TV that he can't shave himself or even tie his own shoes!   That is disgraceful for a mother to make public.   He has a life outside his family - school , friends, work.   A teenager with a disability deserves better treatment than to have his weaknesses made public.   It made me sad for him.  His mom needs to focus on his strengths, and getting him the help he needs to succeed, not on what his injury has done to HER.

Edited August 29, 2015 by backformore

[Whimsy]

At like 1hr 20min the hubby says he took her camera cuz she'd been acting all weird and had been hiding in the bedroom all day. Then he points the cam at the drawer and opens it to pull out the bag of candy. On the table are many remnants of lines of powder along with 2 lines yet unused under the assumption that that is what they are. It's so blatantly visible but I haven't seen any convo about it. It seems like the hubby did it on purpose to expose. She was erratic as hell.

I went back and re-watched this scene frame by frame. There was absolutely nno drugs. There are a lot of scratches but I personally think it's because it is a very cheap bedside table because that appears to be a spare room. I saw no drug use. There are huge questions and holes in the story, but I don't think it's drugs.

[Chip]

There are a lot of scratches but I personally think it's because it is a very cheap bedside table because that appears to be a spare room. I saw no drug use. 

 

I watched the first time after reading this thread and I agree, it is just a trick of the light and a cheap table.

[ClareWalks]

I was paying very little attention during the episode, but come on. Does anyone really believe they'd show lines of coke on this show and leave it unremarked-upon? Scratches on the table are a way more probable scenario.

 

Agree with everyone that there was something a bit off about this story and about Jackie herself. But being a new parent myself, I would LOSE IT on someone if they shook my baby. They'd be very lucky if I didn't kill them myself. The fact that Jackie could forgive her at all is amazing.

[ari333]

I felt for Jackie......

[Canada]

I found this whole episode quite bizarre.  The family thing was weird.  The sudden mood changes were weird.  I found it strange that she was angry at herself for leaving Hunter with a sitter instead of looking after him herself... but she never gave a reason for why she did it.  Really, if it was for a valid reason, like having to work, why not mention it?  Why be angry at yourself for it?  I feel like there was some other reason. 

[Whimsy]

As all us parents (maybe mostly the mothers but I'm sure fathers too) can attest to, when you drop off your baby at the daycare provider, at first there is TREMENDOUS guilt.  I felt guilty for awhile, until I realized how wonderful my daycare provider really was and how much the kids loved it there.  Gratefully, I did not have the experience that Jackie had.  There was one situation that I seriously was worried about, but we yanked our daughter very quickly.  All that to say, I don't know why Jackie had Hunter in daycare.  I just assumed she worked but now I don't know.  A job never was mentioned, was it. 

 

I hate when there are holes in the story, probably simply because it is so drawn out and really only matters (and makes sense) to the family.  But, because they are so cagey about details we have to sit here and wonder and make up possibilities when I bet there really wasn't anything that nefarious going on.  They probably just got sick of Jackie's "woe is me" attitude.  Yes, it sucked but Hunter is still a wonderful boy and I bet the rest of the family wanted to focus on that and Jackie just wouldn't let it go.

[Failbetter]

I didn't ever say it was any specific drug, legal or otherwise, could be lines of smarties for all we can tell but you have to look at the first shot when the drawer is opened. Lines of something are very obvious. Definitely not scratches. It makes sense that something else was going on and the husband takes the cam and is like ' she's all crabby' hiding out in the room and this and that just to expose a bag of chocolate? She gets disinvited to the wedding over a very erratic phone call, over an email from 10 years ago? Do I think think they missed it in editing? yes! because the husband was freaking out over chocolate, which is just another odd thing about it. Look again. The scratches are top right near the lamp, the lines are bottom left. Ive seen it before. Could be anything though. Maybe she carefully measures the sugar for her coffee or whatever. It's there though.

[Whimsy]

I didn't ever say it was any specific drug, legal or otherwise, could be lines of smarties for all we can tell but you have to look at the first shot when the drawer is opened. Lines of something are very obvious. Definitely not scratches. It makes sense that something else was going on and the husband takes the cam and is like ' she's all crabby' hiding out in the room and this and that just to expose a bag of chocolate? She gets disinvited to the wedding over a very erratic phone call, over an email from 10 years ago? Do I think think they missed it in editing? yes! because the husband was freaking out over chocolate, which is just another odd thing about it. Look again. The scratches are top right near the lamp, the lines are bottom left. Ive seen it before. Could be anything though. Maybe she carefully measures the sugar for her coffee or whatever. It's there though.

I'm very sorry to hear you've seen it before.  From my own experiences, I know it's easier to "see" signs of things that really aren't there just because of my own jaded experience.  I went around saying every person who drank socially had a form of alcoholism because of my dad.  So, I can understand you immediately coming to that conclusion, but I agree with those posters above who think that the producers, etc, would not let that evidence be seen.  I took a screenshot.  To me, they look clearly like scratches when watching the episode but a little less clear on the screenshot I grabbed while watching it on Hulu.  I hope this puts the subject to rest. 

 

[Chip]

It looks like paint.

[CaughtOnTape]

Watching her BEG her mother to talk to her made me sad.

 

That's all I can say.

[MakeMeLaugh]

I noticed that nightstand top when the show was on but all I thought was how dirty it looked. I imagine there was usually stuff on top of it and it just got decluttered for the cameras without being polished. 

[Canada]

I've had my bedside table for freakin' years and it doesn't have one scratch on it; that includes a number of house moves.  How on earth does a bedside table get that messed up???

[Whimsy]

I think it was super low quality/particle board.

[MakeMeLaugh]

You haven't seen my nightstand....

I've had my bedside table for freakin' years and it doesn't have one scratch on it; that includes a number of house moves.  How on earth does a bedside table get that messed up???

[ClareWalks]

I've had my bedside table for freakin' years and it doesn't have one scratch on it; that includes a number of house moves.  How on earth does a bedside table get that messed up???

 

I think the answer might be best discovered under a blacklight with a hazmat suit on.

[Failbetter]

It looks like paint.

I'm sorry you all have seen it enough that you have seen things where they were not, but that could also mean you don't see things as they are

[Failbetter]

I'm very sorry to hear you've seen it before. From my own experiences, I know it's easier to "see" signs of things that really aren't there just because of my own jaded experience. I went around saying every person who drank socially had a form of alcoholism because of my dad. So, I can understand you immediately coming to that conclusion, but I agree with those posters above who think that the producers, etc, would not let that evidence be seen. I took a screenshot. To me, they look clearly like scratches when watching the episode but a little less clear on the screenshot I grabbed while watching it on Hulu. I hope this puts the subject to rest.

Just because you've seen things where they were not doesn't mean all things are not as you or others see. I always paint lines in my bedside table and my husband really cares if I eat too much and hide it( said no one ever)