MargeGunderson April 19, 2017 Share April 19, 2017 Oh, for my own cubicle! We share a space in an open floor plan (we're back to back). There is no escaping her. She does this sort of thing multiple times a day. She has to process everything verbally and as I'm her only tem member I'm the lucky recipient of almost all of her thoughts as soon as she has them. She's also terrible about picking up social cues (like go away, I'm busy/don't care), even very blatant ones like continuing to type while she's talking (and wearing headphones while doing it). It's distracting to say the least. 1 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3193881
MrSmith April 19, 2017 Share April 19, 2017 This doesn't have to do with my current employer, but I decided to try to look up the first company I did programming for years ago. And to my shock, I found that it has risen from the ashes like some unholy phoenix! http://maxous.com Don't get me wrong: I like the owner and actually still consider him a friend (even though I lost touch with him a while ago). Which is probably amazing (you should consider bracing your lower jaw about now) considering that he owed me $11,122.29 when I quit working for him. (It was good for my resume, and he kept promising the site was going to launch "next month" for about 6 months. Since I needed the money, I held onto that hope for a while.) I don't have any hope I'll see any of that money and I'm certainly not going to go chasing him down over it. It does actually give me a little hope that I can reconnect with him and see how things are going for him. Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3194155
ari333 April 19, 2017 Share April 19, 2017 (edited) 6 hours ago, MargeGunderson said: Oh, for my own cubicle! We share a space in an open floor plan (we're back to back). There is no escaping her. She does this sort of thing multiple times a day. She has to process everything verbally and as I'm her only tem member I'm the lucky recipient of almost all of her thoughts as soon as she has them. She's also terrible about picking up social cues (like go away, I'm busy/don't care), even very blatant ones like continuing to type while she's talking (and wearing headphones while doing it). It's distracting to say the least. I thought of that show Frasier and his ex wife, Lilith , who said, "Did you know that it *IS* permissible to have an unexpressed thought?" :-) Edited April 19, 2017 by ari333 3 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3194756
auntlada April 19, 2017 Share April 19, 2017 13 minutes ago, ari333 said: I thought of that show Frasier and his ex wife, Lilith , who said, "Did you know that it *IS* permissible to have an unexpressed thought." :-) Which was actually on an episode of "Wings" when Frasier and Lilith were still married, and he went to Nantucket to do a seminar. Also, I may watch too much TV, and that information is probably taking up space in my brain that could be used for not leaving my cell phone in the car. 3 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3194795
ari333 April 19, 2017 Share April 19, 2017 4 minutes ago, auntlada said: Which was actually on an episode of "Wings" when Frasier and Lilith were still married, and he went to Nantucket to do a seminar. Also, I may watch too much TV, and that information is probably taking up space in my brain that could be used for not leaving my cell phone in the car. Wow. I saw that Wings eppy (obviously since I remembered the phrase even paraphrased it probably.) That was hilarious. I guess when they do crossovers I get confused. :-) Anyway, I used to want to say it to people who I worked with who drove me crazy. Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3194824
MargeGunderson April 19, 2017 Share April 19, 2017 5 hours ago, ari333 said: I thought of that show Frasier and his ex wife, Lilith , who said, "Did you know that it *IS* permissible to have an unexpressed thought?" :-) I'm now going to have that running through my head when she's talking to me and will probably giggle. Thanks, @ari333, humor helps! 1 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3195807
hoosier80 April 20, 2017 Share April 20, 2017 Well, I'm about out of ways to try to help the Dipshit on our team. Dip jacked up some stuff, which I caught yesterday while updating stuff for the upcoming period end. I was like why did you submit a work order to close these clients? I see they have assets, why are you closing? Uhhhh, dunno. I go look up the weekly plan that shows what is opening, what is closing, and the dates. Yeah that stuff was closing in June. Hey, Dip, they have to stay open until June. Oh, whoops! Just does not get it. We'd have a client royally pissed off that some of their accounts were closed earlier than scheduled, costing them $$$$. I go over the work order form - well they're at my desk first thing. Did you submit these to be closed? Well, they are stored either here or here. I wanted to say do you see ABC and DEF here? No, I didn't do it because it is YOUR JOB, YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. Anyhow, then Dip wanted to go over - again, this is like at least the 5th time, to go over the turn on/off work order. It's got a lot of programming lingo, but a NOTES column describing the stuff. I wrote on their blank copy - A only, B only, etc. Ok, I get it. Dip then goes on to write up one, sends it to me. Nope, you missed 1, 2, 3, 4. I mean missed stuff I'd clearly marked - I had exxed out portions they'd never have to complete - big sections. Filled in stuff there, then missed the lines I had said this is what, you fill in for A, etc. Four revisions later, finally it was ok. I had to go to their desk and grab the blank form I'd written on and said, see here. Hadn't even used it. Then, more stuff that was wrong. I told my boss, I can't even look at one more. He just shook his head. I've got my own work to do. Then, the kicker, Dip is going to make a template. Never mind we already have procedures that lay it all out, never mind the form needs to be redone. I finally get home tonight, and the plumbing problem I'd been putting off, yeah, it's dripping more. It's in the small closet off the kitchen - the stupid expander tank above the hot water heater was dripping slightly. Yeah now, it's more like a regular ping, ping, ping. For now, I shut off the water. My place is a mess, so I have to go in overdrive to do a stash and clean. My kitchen floor is already trashed - cheap, cheap material used by the builder, so not really concerned about that, but I don't want to clean up another mess. I'm remote tomorrow and Friday, so I figure I can clean in between working. I know others, like the Dip, don't do squat when remote, so I no longer feel too guilty in slacking a little when at home. I had time off earlier in the week, but something did not agree with me, so I was sick. Just my luck. I could've used that time to clean up in a more reasonable time period, but no. Sigh. If I have to, I'll work remote next week. Tired of putting my personal stuff last. 2 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3196543
bilgistic April 20, 2017 Share April 20, 2017 (edited) This and last week have been grinding my gears. (I know; what else is new?) I had a meltdown today at my desk because I'm so frustrated over a co-listing with another office. The other office was supposed to provide me with all of the content for the property listing book, and I was to coordinate with the designer, rather than doing the whole thing myself, as I usually do. Well, guess what has happened. I have asked seven ways from Sunday for the material, and they make excuses, or give me something half-assed, or just ignore me. OF COURSE, my "boss" doesn't stand up for me, so what am I left to do? I'm doing as much as I can, but I don't have the information and was in fact MISinformed about some things, which caused me to waste the greater part of the day today working on the wrong data. This comes right along with that preposterous country club meeting on Friday, and how we're all going to help each other and blah, blah, blah. The same meeting where I was told I would be doing x, y and z more things (with what more time?). So, I've not been keeping my proverbial shit together very well. I came in Monday at 9 as usual, and we have our hour-long weekly meeting that always starts with five guys yukking it up for 15 damn minutes about whatever they did over the weekend. And then there's me, dying inside. After Monday's meeting, the boss emailed me to say he wants to start our meetings at 8:30. I just snapped, and responded that I'd be leaving at 6 on those days, since I'm still working over 50 hours a week. (I almost always work from 9 to at least 7 daily with NO breaks.) The new kid was supposed to change everything and no longer would I have to work so long. What a joke. The way I feel about this meeting thing, though, is this: I don't schedule a meeting with my team at 6:30 at night because that's not their schedule. It's just a dick move to not work with everyone on the team. Also, our designers are on the West Coast; I'm often working with them late (their mid-afternoon). That's part of my job. I feel like an asshole now for my kneejerk reaction, but it's just the same shit over and over and over. They take more, more, more, and I get nothing for it. I'm doing senior-level work and other people's work, and I'm not compensated for it. There's no answer besides "leave", and I'm working on it. I just need to bitch about it in the meantime. Edited April 20, 2017 by bilgistic 4 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3197101
Bastet April 20, 2017 Share April 20, 2017 (edited) 12 minutes ago, bilgistic said: The way I feel about this meeting thing, though, is this: I don't schedule a meeting with my team at 6:30 at night because that's not their schedule. It's just a dick move to not work with everyone on the team. Exactly; people start and end at different times, so it's just common courtesy to schedule meetings everyone needs to attend at a time when everyone is there. And even if everyone got in at the same time, I'd never schedule a meeting for that time/right after that time -- people need a cushion in the morning to get situated, check emails and voicemails, and just generally adjust to the workday. Edited April 20, 2017 by Bastet 1 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3197141
theredhead77 April 20, 2017 Share April 20, 2017 34 minutes ago, bilgistic said: I feel like an asshole now for my kneejerk reaction, but it's just the same shit over and over and over. They take more, more, more, and I get nothing for it. I'm doing senior-level work and other people's work, and I'm not compensated for it. Do not feel like an asshole; your reaction is completely justified. They know they are pushing you and pushing you. Perhaps they want you to quit, perhaps they just don't care. They want you to come early? Leave early, let them feel some consequences for their choices. Someone in CA doesn't get something? Too bad. Our support is in PA while our company goes all the way to HI. There is literally no website technical support after 11am in HI. They tried to schedule meetings at noon our time and I sent an email simply stating I wouldn't be attending these meetings since it's lunchtime here. 2 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3197235
bilgistic April 20, 2017 Share April 20, 2017 Thank you both. I feel like I'm being gaslighted (gaslit?), which makes me feel crazy(er). 2 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3197447
theredhead77 April 20, 2017 Share April 20, 2017 18 minutes ago, bilgistic said: Thank you both. I feel like I'm being gaslighted (gaslit?), which makes me feel crazy(er). Treat them as if they are gaslighting you and you can begin to act / react in a way that will knock them down a peg. 1 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3197497
Guest April 21, 2017 Share April 21, 2017 21 hours ago, bilgistic said: After Monday's meeting, the boss emailed me to say he wants to start our meetings at 8:30. I just snapped, and responded that I'd be leaving at 6 on those days, since I'm still working over 50 hours a week. (I almost always work from 9 to at least 7 daily with NO breaks.) The new kid was supposed to change everything and no longer would I have to work so long. What a joke. The way I feel about this meeting thing, though, is this: I don't schedule a meeting with my team at 6:30 at night because that's not their schedule. It's just a dick move to not work with everyone on the team. Also, our designers are on the West Coast; I'm often working with them late (their mid-afternoon). That's part of my job. I feel like an asshole now for my kneejerk reaction, but it's just the same shit over and over and over. They take more, more, more, and I get nothing for it. I'm doing senior-level work and other people's work, and I'm not compensated for it. There's no answer besides "leave", and I'm working on it. I just need to bitch about it in the meantime. The thing is that people who have your kind of work ethic to put in long hours to get everything done even if it means pushing themselves to the verge of collapse are always going to be given more, more, and more to do. I know this because I'm that type of person too. The people who put in their hours and go home aren't going to get overloaded because even if the people that generate the work don't say anything they do notice and they aren't going to direct the work to someone that is not going to get it done. Its a shame that they are not recognizing you for the work you are putting in or compensating you fairly for it. I'm sorry for that. But ultimately that doesn't solve anything either. Don't get me wrong, its easier to deal with if you are fairly compensated. But it will never completely fix the stress that comes from being perpetually overloaded. I hope its ok to offer a suggestion. I know sometimes its just nice to vent and not be given a bunch of suggestions that may not work at all. But I want to share something that has helped me. I am perpetually on the edge of not handling the level of chaos and workload in my job very well. I basically had to set up rules for myself to follow. Leave the building for lunch No working from home after a full day No working on a weekend Its not easy. And I "cheat" more often than I should. But the thing I learned when I cheat on the rules is that things are literally no better when I skip lunch or work an all nighter or on the weekend. I'm to the point where I recognize that I can't make it through a full day without leaving at lunch for my sanity. Working an all nighter feels good until about 9AM the next day which is when I realize that despite finishing everything on my desk, my next day went no differently. Usually that cures me for about three months. I still work a shit ton more hours than everyone else. I'm still annoyed about it. But I am getting better about taking time for me. Its a challenge and I still have a ways to go and no idea how to get there, Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3200245
ari333 April 21, 2017 Share April 21, 2017 Bilgistic, go ahead and bitch. That's why we're here - to comfort each other. And your use of the word "gaslit" made me giggle snort. But on a serious note, if you think they are fucking with you - they probqbly are. Trust your gut bc it's almost always right (imo) Cyber hugs. 4 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3201489
emma675 April 21, 2017 Share April 21, 2017 (edited) bilgistic, on the day you quit (after you've found a fabulous new job), we're going to need video or a blow-by-blow description of the whole thing. They are going to be so screwed and they don't even know it. I still will get random emails from my old job (that I left over 6 months ago) from colleagues not know how to do or find something. It feels pretty good. Edited April 21, 2017 by emma675d 4 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3202307
bilgistic April 22, 2017 Share April 22, 2017 (edited) I was contacted today about a marketing coordinator job for which I'd applied the other day. It's with an architecture firm. We have a call scheduled for Thursday. It's very encouraging to have interest from the outside world. I'm scared, and not good at phone "interviews", but we'll see... I'm definitely looking forward to seeing everyone's "oh, shit" face when I tell them I'm really leaving, and they realize how screwed they will be. It's going to happen; it's just a matter of when. I really appreciate y'all. Edited April 22, 2017 by bilgistic 8 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3203938
Bastet April 22, 2017 Share April 22, 2017 4 minutes ago, bilgistic said: I'm definitely looking forward to seeing everyone's "oh, shit" face when I tell them I'm really leaving, and they realize how screwed they will be. It's going to be delicious. And we're all going to enjoy it almost as much as you do. 5 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3203944
emma675 April 22, 2017 Share April 22, 2017 bilgistic, as someone who recently (well, almost six months ago) successfully interviewed for a new job, I've got some advice. Google phone interviews and look up tips on how to do them well, print out notes to have by you in case your brain freezes up, and study up on the job and the company. It's an old site, but Monster.com has some good articles on interviewing. I found too much knowledge helped me out; my first phone interview went so well it only lasted ten minutes and the HR recruiter asked me on the spot for a follow up interview. 2 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3204320
auntlada April 22, 2017 Share April 22, 2017 The last time I interviewed for a job (and got it), I read "Sixty Seconds and You're Hired." I don't know if that's what helped me get hired or if it was that I did better on the proofreading test than anyone else, but the book helped me feel more prepared. I've always been horrible at interviews, but this one wasn't too bad. 2 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3204420
ABay April 22, 2017 Share April 22, 2017 Seconding the call for video of your dramatic departure, @bilgistic. Maybe a body cam? Or at least record the audio on your phone. 5 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3204453
theredhead77 April 22, 2017 Share April 22, 2017 Add me to the list of using Dr. Google for interview tips. Also, decide ahead of time what you're going to say when they ask why you're moving on. Never bad-mouth your [soon-to-be] former employer. After x years at [company] I feel it's time to do [adjective] to start the next step in my career. I feel my experience in xyz will be great as I begin a career doing abc... You're going to do great! 2 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3204698
auntlada April 22, 2017 Share April 22, 2017 So after an occurrence last summer when someone (who never actually worked for or was paid by our company/agency, but was affiliated with us) did something really stupid and racist (at an event co-hosted by us) that he claimed was "just a joke," we hired a diversity person. (I don't remember the exact title. Coordinator, maybe.) (I don't know why no one at this event stood up and told the guy to stop. He was supposed to speak but had already gone way beyond his allotted time. Someone should have stopped him even before the so-called joke.) Anyway, now the diversity person holds diversity roundtables every month. They are not required, so not very many people go. I have not been to one for several reasons, including that reading something or watching something and then sitting around talking about what I feel and think about it to me sounds like one of my versions of hell. Anyway, one of my co-workers recently told me that the fact that I haven't been is "unforgivable." I wish I'd said something to her about how I guess she probably shouldn't have much to do with me any more then, but I never think of these things that quickly. That's actually probably good. I realize I'm going to have to go to at least one sometime, probably the one this summer dealing with Gen X-ers after the way I complained about how the one about baby boomers and millennials just completely ignored the generation in between. (But we're used to it.) I don't want to, though, because as mentioned above, it sounds like hell. I don't really want to share what I think or feel about things with these people. I want to say, "Can't we just treat people the same and get our work done?" (Clearly this is not true for so many people, but I feel like it is for me. I don't always treat people well, but I treat them all equally badly, so at least it's the same. I try to even be polite to the stupid people I hate. After years of working with insane and stupid people, I have a well-developed tactfulness. I can't always control my face, however. Fortunately, stupid people don't seem to be able to read my face and know it's aimed at them.) But you also don't get to read the article or see the video until you get there. Some of us don't think that quickly. We need time to process the information and decide what we think about it. We need time to develop our thoughts properly. This is why I'm much better in writing than speaking. I've suggested to senior leaders that we get the articles ahead of time, but we still don't. And you don't really know more than the title of the session before you get there either. You're just going in blind. Mostly, I'm just pissed that this co-worker (who has absolutely no authority over me) feels it is her job to decide who should go to these sessions and tell them. Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3204816
BookWoman56 April 22, 2017 Share April 22, 2017 (edited) Diversity training doesn't have to be miserable, and there can be valid reasons for not showing you the materials ahead of time. Many times there are exercises designed to help you identify what your snap judgments are about people or situations, where having you read the articles or so forth would allow time to process the information and come up with answers that you feel are "correct" as opposed to your gut reaction. One of the most effective diversity training sessions I've ever attended started off with the facilitator showing us a series of photos of people, very diverse in ethnicity, age, appearance, etc. At the same time, we were given a list of mini-biographies and given a very short amount of time to individually match each mini-bio with one of the photos. For me, it revealed some biases I was unaware of on my own part, such as ascribing positive characteristics to people who were more physically attractive or dressed more professionally than someone in casual clothes. I've also taught some brief diversity sessions within some specialized training I was conducting years ago with teachers who would be evaluating other teachers' performances in the classroom. The diversity issues we were tackling were not the typical ones of ethnicity and so forth, but things such as teachers who felt that a quiet classroom was a sign of a teacher shutting down any active participation by the students, versus those who felt a somewhat noisy classroom indicated the teacher was not in control of the classroom; teachers who felt that a female kindergarten or 1st grade teacher who wore a dress was obviously unwilling to get down on the floor and interact with the students; teachers who felt that a PE teacher who was overweight should have points deducted for not being a good role model for the students; and I'm sad to say, teachers who regarded male kindergarten or 1st grade teachers as possible sexual predators, unless the male teacher was really hot. The point of all this was not to eliminate people's prejudices because that's generally not going to happen as a result of a short diversity session. The goal was to get people to identify their own triggers: what characteristics about someone make you prone to judge that person's abilities and character more positively or more negatively, and to make a conscious effort to mitigate your own gut reactions to certain types of people. It could be age-related, such as regarding people over a certain age as automatically not up to date on technology, or regarding very young people as too inexperienced to have valid opinions. For me, the bottom line is that I will still regard someone as a lazy jerk who knows nothing and tries to foist off all assigned work on someone else, but my judgment isn't based on that person's gender, ethnicity, age, or so forth, but on that person's actions. So diversity training isn't intended to remove all your biases but to make you aware of any you might have and to use them appropriately, so to speak. No diversity training is going to eliminate my bias against stupid and lazy colleagues. That said, one of my biases I am proud to maintain is against colleagues who feel compelled to appoint themselves as faux managers and tell other people what they should be doing. Edited April 22, 2017 by BookWoman56 4 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3205387
auntlada April 22, 2017 Share April 22, 2017 I figured that was one reason not to show people the stuff ahead of time, although I'd still like to get an idea of what the subject is, other than "Baby Boomers vs. Millennials" or "Microagressions." On the whole, though, being an introvert who spends a lot of time thinking about things, I think I know what most of my biases are and really try to reconsider when I feel myself making a snap judgment. I worked in journalism for 20 years also and saw a lot of bias and prejudice from all sides and against all sides. I took a lot of phone calls from members of the public complaining about people for no reason other than the color of their skin, their ethnicity, their parents' (or grandparents') place of origin, etc. I always got those calls passed to me because I could be tactful and still have an answer. (In general, publishers frown on reporters and editors telling subscribers that they are stupid even when they are.) I still remember my journalism professor telling us that no one can be completely free of biases. All you can do is try to be fair to everyone. And I don't consider disliking stupid people who won't do their own work as being prejudiced. You (and I) dislike those people for a valid reason having to do with their behavior. You probably didn't dislike them until they proved how lazy and stupid they were. I just also really hate (1) meetings and (2) talking with people, especially people I have to work with, about what I think and feel about issues. Most think I agree with them about stuff whether because when they talk about things, I say, "Hmmm." It's just easier that way when you have to work with people. (As long as it isn't something egregious like the thing that started it all.) 2 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3205465
MargeGunderson April 22, 2017 Share April 22, 2017 @bilgistic, I've probably mentioned this in the thread before but I really recommend the website http://www.askamanager.org/ If you search the site for phone interviews l'm sure you'll get helpful advice (a HR professional runs the site and gives out the advice.) Good luck! Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3205685
BookWoman56 April 23, 2017 Share April 23, 2017 @auntlada, I loathe meetings with the fire of a thousand suns (or nuns), and I also despise talking with people about my views and feelings about certain issues. That said, I realized several years ago that most people who don't know me well tend to stereotype me as a middle-aged, religious, white Southern woman with very conservative and bigoted viewpoints, when I am a quite liberal atheist. So I take a perverse pleasure in this kind of setting at saying something that subverts that stereotype. Doing so signals to colleagues that no, I'm not the person to whom you want to tell offensive jokes because you think I'm a fellow bigot. I also feel a bit compelled to demonstrate that I do take diversity issues seriously, unlike some people who are of the opinion that everyone in the workplace should be of the same national origin, ethnicity, religious affiliation, gender orientation, etc. @bilgistic, I agree with the advice to read a few advice columns on interviews and not to trash your current managers no matter how horrific they are. The only thing I'd add is to do a little research on the company, so that if the occasion arises during the interview, you could mention how your skills would fit into their project XYZ. I believe you said they were an architectural firm, so your skill set from commercial real estate should be easily transferable to a lot of what they would need. One final piece of advice: If you feel yourself becoming nervous, be aware that your voice can become a bit more high-pitched and squeaky. When they ask you something and you are feeling stressed, silently take a deep breath before replying. Doing so slows your heart rate, which will make you feel calmer, and also temporarily lowers the pitch of your voice, so that you sound more assertive and confident. For various reasons, people don't take high-pitched squeaky voices very seriously (think of Minnie Mouse, on helium) and respond better to women who have lower-pitched voices. Good luck with the interview. I'm one of many who would probably pay cash money for a video or audio clip of your current colleagues' "oh, shit!!" reaction when you are able to give your formal notice. 2 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3205845
auntlada April 23, 2017 Share April 23, 2017 @BookWoman56, I have a similar, but also different problem. I am a middle-aged, white, religious, on the fringes of Southern woman with conservative (and libertarian) viewpoints. I find that if I share any conservative viewpoints or even religious ones with certain people, including the aforementioned co-worker, they extend my beliefs for me to include bigoted viewpoints even though we have never talked about those issues -- even though our conversations have been about, say, taxation. They are not willing to believe that I can be conservative but not bigoted, even though I know quite a few people who are conservative politically and religious who are not also bigots. They are not the people who make the news, of course. And I am definitely not the person to tell offensive jokes to, particularly in the workplace. I find more and more that people are less willing to accept that other people are complicated and nuanced and none of them are all good or all bad (although some come close). 5 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3205976
bilgistic April 25, 2017 Share April 25, 2017 (edited) Y'all, I swear... After that bullshit last week about me coming in half an hour earlier so we could have our weekly meeting "not mid-morning" (ugh!), that jackass boss of mine didn't come to the office this morning! He scheduled a meeting with a client or something. He then went to a site tour and was gone most of the day. We had our "meeting" over the phone with him. So, which is it? Either our weekly meetings are sacred and we all have to be there (earlier), or they're skippable. He has other meetings fully half the time--about every other week. And...it took me nearly 50 minutes to get to work leaving half an hour earlier. I live only about 15 minutes from work, but sat in traffic the whole time. It takes me 30 minutes if I leave at my regular time. So basically, I'm going to have to leave a fucking hour earlier so his highness can have a meeting 30 minutes earlier. What does it matter? He lives five minutes from work, by the way. Of course he does. The new kid lives downtown. My other coworker is about 10 minutes from work. The kicker is that he emailed us at 8:22 last night to tell us of his meeting this morning. I didn't see it until this morning because I don't read work email on weekends and certainly not at 8 fucking 22 on Sunday night. So I didn't have to get up and leave early this morning after all. H A T E ! ! ! Edited April 25, 2017 by bilgistic 3 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3211517
BookWoman56 April 25, 2017 Share April 25, 2017 @bilgistic, your boss is making it increasingly clear that he does not give a flying fuck about anyone's convenience but his own. You having to leave an hour earlier to accommodate his whims means nothing to him. Of course he has a double standard about the weekly meetings; if you need to skip one, the meeting is required, but if he needs to skip one, then the meeting is optional. I know you're looking for something else, and I sincerely hope you find a job soon where your boss is at least a little less of a self-centered jerk. 8 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3214077
Petunia13 April 25, 2017 Share April 25, 2017 9 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3214342
hoosier80 April 26, 2017 Share April 26, 2017 The Dipshit took a vacation day off on my birthday (not that I was doing anything special, but I didn't want to work), which we also had a new program release that day. Dip had to write up a procedure, which I never saw (never shares anything with the team); it was already detailed on a product release - so if they wrote something from scratch, then truly a dumbass. And surprise, I guess what happened didn't match exactly to what they wrote. Then I'm asked how it went. Fine asswipe. Dip then said oh I just went shopping. Nothing special planned, just slipped that in to piss me off more. Yes, it's passive aggressive shit at it's finest. I was good and played it like no big deal. Dip also scheduled more days off that they knew I'd want to take off. No more fixing their mistakes, and I will let them out to hang. There are mistakes I find weekly, but I'm just going to let it go, unless I've been assigned the review of their shit. I've discovered stuff is wrong when I go to do something else and look at something and go ...........WTF is this? Yep, Dip strikes again. Just found more stuff today - had 10 things to do, missed 2. Not saying one word. We've got a person coming onboard in a few weeks, sounds like a friend of the boss. Has absolutely no background in what we specifically do, but has some smarts - redesigned programs from where they worked (had a title higher than any of the worker bees on our team). Dip thinks they're the trainer. Please. You have to know something first before you can train anyone. Dip also wants to give away a lot of their tasks - so what are you going to do? The kicker with the newbie, no pc for at least 3 weeks, so someone will have to be in the office to babysit. So potentially no work from home days. I was going to take off time this week, in between the days I have stuff I have to do (date specific stuff), but we're going to discuss amongst ourselves how to work it out. One person already said, oh I don't have much to show newbie - meaning, ha ha, I can work remote - you are stuck with them. Nice. I'm sure Dip will try and unload it all on me, so nope, I'm going to meet and I'm standing my ground. The bad thing is, I have to really plan my days off because if there's something date specific, I really have no one to cover it. Then we have Dip doing shit (like they've always done) taking multiple Friday/Monday combinations off. Oh I don't like taking full weeks, but ironically they are, right as we have two large projects launching in the early fall. "Oh, do we have to cover that?" We did 4 other times for the same type of projects. "We did?" Yes, don't you remember how much you bitched and moaned?? "Well I guess maybe I can come in if I'm needed". (They're flying out of state I think - so how is that going to work??). I'm gonna need bail money, I swear. 4 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3215532
theredhead77 April 26, 2017 Share April 26, 2017 (edited) 16 hours ago, hoosier80 said: Dip also scheduled more days off that they knew I'd want to take off. Did you stop telling Dip the days you want to take off and/or give them fake days off? Really fuck with them. I used to fuck with a former coworker, who I HATED. He was a complete idiot who hardly did anything but was also the golden boy who could do no wrong (because he was male and our boss was a sexist asshole). I knew IdiotBoy was a huge soccer fan and wanted to leave early to watch the World Cup finals a couple years ago. I put in for a half-day, meaning he had to work, not his regular shift (early) but my shift to make sure there was coverage until 5. If he talked about plans he had that night, and they involved going out late / drinking I called out sick the next day (I had so much sick time to burn) so he had to do everything. If I heard him talking about wanting a day off I put in for it. If he had plans I'd come up with a reason he had to switch shifts with me. He got away with everything but I made his life completely miserable every chance I could. Now the reason I came back to this thread was to say the gum popper has moved on to chewing on pumpkin & sunflower seeds and sucking her teeth. All fucking day. She is so gross. I cannot wait until they move. Edited April 26, 2017 by theredhead77 3 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3217657
ennui April 26, 2017 Share April 26, 2017 6 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3218041
bilgistic April 27, 2017 Share April 27, 2017 5 hours ago, theredhead77 said: Did you stop telling Dip the days you want to take off and/or give them fake days off? Really fuck with them. I used to fuck with a former coworker, who I HATED. He was a complete idiot who hardly did anything but was also the golden boy who could do no wrong (because he was male and our boss was a sexist asshole). I knew IdiotBoy was a huge soccer fan and wanted to leave early to watch the World Cup finals a couple years ago. I put in for a half-day, meaning he had to work, not his regular shift (early) but my shift to make sure there was coverage until 5. If he talked about plans he had that night, and they involved going out late / drinking I called out sick the next day (I had so much sick time to burn) so he had to do everything. If I heard him talking about wanting a day off I put in for it. If he had plans I'd come up with a reason he had to switch shifts with me. He got away with everything but I made his life completely miserable every chance I could. Now the reason I came back to this thread was to say the gum popper has moved on to chewing on pumpkin & sunflower seeds and sucking her teeth. All fucking day. She is so gross. I cannot wait until they move. Teach me your ways. My boss chews on sunflower seeds all the time, spitting the hulls(?) into a mug, so it makes a TING! sound. It's usually his coffee mug from the morning, so it ends up being a disgusting chunky sludge. And he'll just get a new mug the next day until he has five or seven mugs on his desk before he finally takes them to the kitchen. I'm working from home tomorrow and I'm a little excited, just because I don't have to see those assholes, don't have to put on "real" clothes and don't have to drive in. I have my call at 10 with the architecture firm, then my cat and I are off to the vet at 2. I haven't told him yet. It's best if it's a surprise. I purposefully didn't tell the guys anything other than, "I have a long appointment in the afternoon." 7 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3219082
theredhead77 April 27, 2017 Share April 27, 2017 7 minutes ago, bilgistic said: Teach me your ways. My inner bitch lives very close to the surface of my psyche. 6 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3219145
bilgistic April 27, 2017 Share April 27, 2017 I don't have an "inner" bitch. It's allll out there. But bitches get shit done! 7 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3219236
theredhead77 April 27, 2017 Share April 27, 2017 9 minutes ago, bilgistic said: I don't have an "inner" bitch. It's allll out there. But bitches get shit done! The one that lives close to the surface of my psyche has the mantra of don't fuck with me or I will destroy you. It's a whole other level of bitchiness and it's a patient trait too. I've watched two "bitchy" girls go down in flames for how they treated me and pat themselves on the back for "getting rid of me" when in the end, I just planted some seeds, sat back and watched them be their own undoing. 5 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3219316
hoosier80 April 27, 2017 Share April 27, 2017 Dip takes random days, and doesn't share when they really want time off. I found more shit they did wrong, while researching something else. They were on the email/inquiry. I sent back what I found. Not a peep. Not even oh did I miss that? I'm betting the email was never read, because I handled the request. I would have let it wait, except someone came running over as I sat there, like it was URGENT. It was not. I'm not going to say oh you made a mistake, do you want to fix it (unless I'm assigned to review it). Tired of cleaning up or pointing out their shit done wrong. It needs to blow up, so management will take notice. I did laugh because on the last day off, Dip wanted to check out a new store to the area. I blurted out, that's not opening until August - it has been all over radio and tv - every damned station, plus multiple newspapers had articles. I know I saw 3 features on tv at least and they were discussing on the radio. Yeah I figured that out when I pulled into the parking lot, says Dip. So Dip went shopping to stores that aren't even open on the day I wanted off. It's not a short trip from where they live, so Karma, I see you, and I thank you. Thank goodness no one around me pops gum or chews seeds. We did have someone who would trim their nails, and it was so loud. Must've had talons of steel, because I can clip in a pinch - I put my hands under my desk and in the top of the wastebasket. If I can barely hear it, then I don't think anyone else does. 1 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3222497
Petunia13 April 27, 2017 Share April 27, 2017 21 hours ago, theredhead77 said: The one that lives close to the surface of my psyche has the mantra of don't fuck with me or I will destroy you. It's a whole other level of bitchiness and it's a patient trait too. I've watched two "bitchy" girls go down in flames for how they treated me and pat themselves on the back for "getting rid of me" when in the end, I just planted some seeds, sat back and watched them be their own undoing. This sounds like a good story. Please share. 1 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3222563
bilgistic April 28, 2017 Share April 28, 2017 The interview call with the architecture firm was rescheduled this morning...for Tuesday. The job was posted February 24. How do I take this? The need doesn't seem urgent. I'm a worrier, though. Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3222696
theredhead77 April 28, 2017 Share April 28, 2017 1 hour ago, bilgistic said: The interview call with the architecture firm was rescheduled this morning...for Tuesday. The job was posted February 24. How do I take this? The need doesn't seem urgent. I'm a worrier, though. Assume the person doing the interview is sick/injured or has a sick or injured family member. Not that I want anyone to be sick or injured but it's easier to have that in your head over anything else. 2 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3223109
BookWoman56 April 28, 2017 Share April 28, 2017 2 hours ago, bilgistic said: The interview call with the architecture firm was rescheduled this morning...for Tuesday. The job was posted February 24. How do I take this? The need doesn't seem urgent. I'm a worrier, though. There could be multiple reasons for rescheduling it. As @theredhead77 pointed out, the interviewer could be sick or dealing with a sickness/injury in the family. It could also simply be that the interviewer got pulled into an urgent meeting that would conflict with the designated interview time or had to put out a "fire." I have seen that a lot; my own manager frequently has to reschedule meetings because she will be called upon by a department head to do something that is perceived as urgent. In terms of the time frame, my experience is that the hiring process always takes way the hell longer than it should. For my current job, the position was posted in early June of that year, initial interviews were conducted in July, additional interviews were conducted in early August, and then HR called to give me the official offer in late August. In your situation, yeah, if they posted the job back in late February and are just now getting around to interviews, their need may not be urgent in the sense that they desperately need someone this minute. But that's not necessarily a bad thing; it sounds more like they know they need someone but aren't going to rush into hiring any warm body off the street. To me it's also an indicator that they would have time to let you get you oriented to the position and go through whatever training is needed instead of throwing you into the mix your first day. FWIW, one of the worst jobs/managers I ever had was the contractor position I held prior to being hired as an FTE by my former manager asshat. He hired me and another contractor purely on the basis of our resumes submitted by our respective staffing agencies a week earlier; neither of us got an interview because he desperately needed somebody in those roles. In retrospect, the lack of interview should have tipped me off to his lousy managerial skills, but at the time I had been unemployed for a few months and was ready to jump at anything that was more or less in my wheelhouse and paid better than unemployment benefits. What I learned through that experience is that a fast hiring process does not automatically equate to a good job, whereas a somewhat longer hiring process often means they're serious about finding someone who has the skill set they need. 1 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3223263
theredhead77 April 28, 2017 Share April 28, 2017 And sometimes jobs are posted as place-holders for headcount budget purposes. 5 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3223330
Guest April 28, 2017 Share April 28, 2017 3 hours ago, bilgistic said: The interview call with the architecture firm was rescheduled this morning...for Tuesday. The job was posted February 24. How do I take this? The need doesn't seem urgent. I'm a worrier, though. I wouldn't worry about it. I've hired four people to my team and the need was always urgent and it never took under four months. Finding the right candidate takes a long time. Its worse to hire and train/acclimate someone that doesn't work out than it is to wait for the right person. Plus the more urgent the need, the less time there is for anyone to ride HR to get the process moving faster. Also the more urgent the need, the more likely that everyone involved in the hiring process is being pulled in eighteen different directions at once. I would think an architecture firm that likely has people dealing with clients is more likely to have to reschedule stuff that isn't client related than your typical company that mostly has internal meetings. Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3223449
theredhead77 April 28, 2017 Share April 28, 2017 23 hours ago, Petunia13 said: This sounds like a good story. Please share. It's not work related; I took it to chit-chat. Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3226002
MrSmith May 3, 2017 Share May 3, 2017 Ugh. I am wishing I had opted to work from home today. Slept horribly last night, with every train that came through town waking me up with its whistle. And then my throat was sore when I woke up at 23:30 and even more sore when I woke up to the alarm at 03:50. This is going to be a very long day. 2 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3238839
bilgistic May 5, 2017 Share May 5, 2017 Here's the pisser of the day, but I've dealt with this my entire "career". When someone asks me to do something with graphics or mapping, etc., and I say, "That won't work, but here's an alternative," they come back and say, "Why can't you just do it the way I asked?" BECAUSE IT WON'T FUCKING WORK THAT WAY. Maybe trust my 20 years of experience for once, asshole? 6 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3246863
Moose135 May 5, 2017 Share May 5, 2017 At the start of each month, there are a series of reports that I (and the other people on my team) send out, showing prior month performance. A bunch go out in the first week, every month, usually the third or fourth business day. Yet inevitably, I will get an e-mail on the first of the month from the same couple of people, "reminding" me to send their reports, or asking when they will be available. Yes, I will send you your report, just like I've done every month for the past 5 years... 6 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3246962
bilgistic May 5, 2017 Share May 5, 2017 7 hours ago, Moose135 said: At the start of each month, there are a series of reports that I (and the other people on my team) send out, showing prior month performance. A bunch go out in the first week, every month, usually the third or fourth business day. Yet inevitably, I will get an e-mail on the first of the month from the same couple of people, "reminding" me to send their reports, or asking when they will be available. Yes, I will send you your report, just like I've done every month for the past 5 years... That kind of thing burns me up! I swear it's just a power trip on the requester's part. 2 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3248178
DeLurker May 5, 2017 Share May 5, 2017 7 hours ago, Moose135 said: Yet inevitably, I will get an e-mail on the first of the month from the same couple of people, "reminding" me to send their reports, or asking when they will be available. Dig out an old reply and just forward it to them in response. Or pre-emptively on the last day of each month send a report advisory that their department's report will be sent on the x date of each month. I had a work email program that I could set up to send a preformatted email on a schedule. I took passive-aggressive to a whole new level with email 5 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/29305-a-case-of-the-mondays-vent-your-work-spleen-here/page/18/#findComment-3248220
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