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S01.E03: Killer En Route

ottoDbusdriver

By ottoDbusdriver
in CSI: Cyber [V]

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ottoDbusdriver

ottoDbusdriver

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(edited)

This show is just getting stupider -- at least Mundo didn't save a child in the nick of time this episode.

 

Avery (at the bar): We did a good job in Boston.

Ummm .. you were just there last week saving a subway full of people, but somehow that didn't justify going out for drinks. 

 

That had to be the most convoluted plot by a criminal -- a boy is killed by a Zogo (cough, cough, uber, cough, cough, lyft, cough,cough) driver 6 months ago so to exact his revenge he decides to hack the ride-sharing car company and kill their customers at the specific time his son was killed. WTF ?

 

Laugh out loud moment -- evil twin router.  How about the evil battery hooked up to the evil twin router that somehow managed to power the evil twin router for 3+ days ? How about the incredibly shitty IT dept. at Zogo that apparently never scans for rogue wireless points within the company offices ?  And because it can't be said enough -- evil twin router.  Did they know it was an evil twin because it had a goatee or beard ?

 

Here's a question -- what was the killer's son doing out at 5:17am in order to be hit by a car at that time ?  Did they ever validate what the killer did for a living that gave him mad hacking skills ?

 

I know that rush hour starts early in major cities, but where did all those cars come from at 5am ?

 

How stupid was it that Richard (the killer) got into his Zogo car in broad daylight but they didn't actually catch him until after 5 am ?  Was the driver driving him around all night without a bathroom break ?  And somehow never considered that suspicious -- or did he keep taking different Zogo cars because it's not like he could go back to his apartment ?

 

Blah, blah, blah, Krumitz personal issues, blah, blah, blah. No one cares.

 

Do these CSIs ever sleep ?  None of them were even drowsy despite being up for over 24 hours.  In fact, instead of going home early after working all night, they apparently all stayed at work and went out for drinks afterwards the following evening.

Edited by ottoDbusdriver
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BooksRule

BooksRule

(edited)

I know that rush hour starts early in major cities, but where did all those cars come from at 5am ?

 

I was just getting ready to post this question.  I remember catching an airport shuttle early, early in the morning in cities like New York and San Francisco, and I never remember seeing that many cars in a downtown area (although, even in my mid-sized city area, I'm sometimes amazed at how many cars are on the interstate at 4 or 5 in the morning).  And, there were no accidents caused by having all the traffic lights switch to green?  All of those many, many cars had to be travelling at a really low rate of speed to avoid at least some fender-benders.

 

I predicted the usual trite dialogue when Avery confronted the guy and it was a variation of what I had expected:  'Your son wouldn't have wanted you to do this', blah blah blah.  One thing that didn't happen, was that when they ended up at the top of that parking garage, I thought he would jump over the railing (so that Avery could shout 'no!' and look horrified).

Edited by BooksRule
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Kromm

Kromm

This plot was uber complicated. Even a Academy Award winning actress couldn't lyft it out of the depths of stupidity.

I predicted the usual trite dialogue when Avery confronted the guy and it was a variation of what I had expected:  'Your son wouldn't have wanted you to do this', blah blah blah.  One thing that didn't happen, was that when they ended up at the top of that parking garage, I thought he would jump over the railing (so that Avery could shout 'no!' and look horrified).

Yes, I admit I was expecting it too. It seemed like the only reason to shoot that scene in a parking garage. I won't say "good show" for them missing ONE cliche though, when they subjected us to dozens of others in the same episode.
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shrewd.buddha

shrewd.buddha

(edited)

That said, I'm watching it as a comedy now.

That is the only way this show can be tolerated. I just like to tune in to watch the actors spout crazy techno-sounding dialogue that is based on a tiny bit of reality. They should just throw in some Star Trek techo-babble for good measure. 

 

I did appreciate Obese-White-Hat-Hacker telling Raven they should concentrate on their task at hand instead of personal chit-chat. It seems as if all the shows these days throw in the personal stuff during inappropriate moments. (Every episode of Scorpion that I've seen)

 

What's up with having a mission statement at the beginning of the show? That's not a CSI thing. It appears to be a new trend for TV shows these days. 

"Ten years ago my computer was hacked. People died. I took an online course that had the word 'cyber' in its title and formed a team of cliched stereotypes. We have huge monitors and cool sounding names. We don't spend much time on our computers because that would be boring. And people still  die -- because it's CSI." 

Edited by shrewd.buddha
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ottoDbusdriver

ottoDbusdriver

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(edited)
What's up with having a mission statement at the beginning of the show? That's not a CSI thing. It appears to be a new trend for TV shows these days.

"Ten years ago my computer was hacked. People died. I took an online course that had the word 'cyber' in its title and formed a team of cliched stereotypes. We have huge monitors and cool sounding names. We don't spend much time on our computers because that would be boring. And people still  die -- because it's CSI."

 

My name is .... Avery Ryan.  And you have failed this city.  </snark>

 

I'm confused by the whole intro as well -- was she a psychologist working for the FBI, or just a plain old psychologist with patients (who were apparently murdered because her office computer security was so lax which is basically her fault) who then decided to read Hacking for Dummies and somehow was immediately hired as head of the FBI Cyber crimes division.  Because that makes no fucking sense at all.  Didn't she have to go to FBI Academy first and then work her way up to be head of the Cyber division ?

Edited by ottoDbusdriver
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Snickerdoodle

Snickerdoodle

Not sure that's even POSSIBLE.

 

That said, I'm watching it as a comedy now.

This was the first episode I watched, and I felt like I was watching a SNL skit. I think they included every stereotypical crime show character, plus stereotypical hackers! And the writing? "we did a good job in Boston." Really? That's all you have to say about what just happened?

Terrible.

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Calamity Jane

Calamity Jane

This was the first episode I watched, and I felt like I was watching a SNL skit. I think they included every stereotypical crime show character, plus stereotypical hackers! And the writing? "we did a good job in Boston." Really? That's all you have to say about what just happened?

Terrible.

And not one of the good SNL skits, either, but one of the ones where I always ask myself why Lorne doesn't pay for better "meds" for his writers.  They're incoherent and they go on waaaaay too long.  Those ones.  

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solotrek

solotrek

(edited)

I just watched "Don't Trust the B- in Apt 23" on Netflix, so putting that Beek (as opposed to real world Beek) into this show makes all the sense in the world to me.

 

 I also like how the computer chic called the number of the missing lady, and after maybe 1 second of the phone ringing, said that no one was picking up.

Edited by solotrek
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Calamity Jane

Calamity Jane

I just watched "Don't Trust the B- in Apt 23" on Netflix, so putting that Beek (as opposed to real world Beek) into this show makes all the sense in the world to me.

 

 I also like how the computer chic called the number of the missing lady, and after maybe 1 second of the phone ringing, said that no one was picking up.

So, so much to treasure in this show if you like to snark!  How on God's green earth did this ever make it to the air?  And yet shows I really like are probably canceled?  Don't make no sense none, as my daughter used to say.  

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90PercentGravity

90PercentGravity

Okay... um... so the writers of this show do realize that psychopaths do serial killings, not average grieving dads? And that psychopaths wouldn't give a shit about what some snot nosed kid would think of them... no? Arg. Nevermind. This show isn't even worth critical thought.

 

At least Penelope Garcia actually types stuff into the computer before it magically narrows the suspect pool down to one. All these guys have to do is point to the impossibly large screens filled with useless graphics that would needlessly slow the program down.

 

Dear CSI Cyber writers, please at the very least do some research on algorithm efficiency, and if you don't know what that means or why it is relevant, quit your job and go write for Blue's Clues.

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thuganomics85

thuganomics85

I'm telling y'all; Avery/Patrica Arquette's opening monologue is almost killing the show before it even begins.  I'm not sure what's worst; the general flat monotone she does for the majority of it, or the very end, where she just randomly whispers the last line.

 

Ah, a case about Zogo a.k.a Not-Uber.  And, yeah, Avery diagnosis the killer as a psychopath, only for it to be a grieving father, who is clearly off his rocker, but, again.  Not a psychopath.  Either Avery's not good at the whole profiling thing, or whatever degree she has is a fake.

 

The stuff with the heaver hacker sure ended weird.  Basically, the guy gets off on parole (only 17 years for two murders?  He must have been a model prisoner.  Maybe he saved a guard's life or something.  Or am I just reading it wrong and it was drunk driving or an accident?), and yet, everyone's just all "Don't worry, man.  Be happy!", Bow Wow's all "You're Batman!", and it ends with everyone laughing.  WTF? 

 

Really, Peter MacNicol and James Van Der Beek?  Was there really not anything else out there?

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Zahdii

Zahdii

I wanted serial killer grieving dad to jump off the parking garage and go join his son, who was apparently used to wandering the streets at 5 in the morning so he could be hit by a car.  Now the state has to go through a trial, pay for his legal team, and pay for all of his room, board, and mental & health care until he either dies or is released.  If this show were to be renewed, look for him to somehow get a prison job that allows him access to a computer so his unexplained mad hacker skills can help him go after the Cyber Team that stopped him from further killings in the name of a dead child.

 

Team member Daniel, formally Fat Neil of 'Community', failed to convince his sister to show up at the parole board hearing to give a victim impact statement regarding the shooting deaths of their parents during a convenience store robbery 17 years ago.  This is apparently enough for the parole board to deduce that 50% of the victims children are no longer interested in keeping the killer in jail, so let's release said killer.  Make sure he's released before telling Daniel, though.  The prison system needs that space and the funds that go with it to take care of grieving dad the serial killer. 

 

If this show is renewed, look for the convenience store killer to target Daniel for being such a pain in the butt and keeping him in jail longer than he 'had' to be.  It'll be found that convenience store killer visited grieving dad in prison and found out how to learn how to hack in short order, (there's probably an underground hacking school that targets unstable people and violent criminals).  Maybe they can even work together to make life miserable for the Cyber Team!  When convenience store killer is finally cornered, he won't jump from a building or be talked into giving up.  Count on him to go out shooting.

 

Through it all, PA will struggle to emote while delivering her lines in a bored monotone.  She's not even phoning it in, she's delivering her performance by pony express.

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Anne Elk

Anne Elk

The writing on this show is so, so bad. That last scene, where I guess we were supposed to be moved by the team's support of Obnoxious Hacker Guy, was apparently written by a Cliche Machine. I was waiting for someone to look into his eyes and solemnly say, "You know, son, it's always darkest just before the dawn."

 

Every plot so far has been the kind of thing you would get if the writers called up their 80-year-old grandmas and asked them about dangers lurking on the internet. Baby monitors threatening grandkids! Computerized public transit gone rogue! Serial killers using car ride services! I expect soon we'll have the Nigerian royal family killing people who won't let them move money into their bank accounts.

 

Nice how the only black character is an ex-con and also a player. Really breaking out of the box there. But I guess he's luckier than the female hacker, who has no character to speak of at all.

 

Patricia Arquette sounds like she's trying to cover up some kind of minor speech impediment. So of course her character's name is "Avery Ryan." Rolls right off the tongue, doesn't it. 

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Calamity Jane

Calamity Jane

I wanted serial killer grieving dad to jump off the parking garage and go join his son, who was apparently used to wandering the streets at 5 in the morning so he could be hit by a car.  Now the state has to go through a trial, pay for his legal team, and pay for all of his room, board, and mental & health care until he either dies or is released.  If this show were to be renewed, look for him to somehow get a prison job that allows him access to a computer so his unexplained mad hacker skills can help him go after the Cyber Team that stopped him from further killings in the name of a dead child.

 

Team member Daniel, formally Fat Neil of 'Community', failed to convince his sister to show up at the parole board hearing to give a victim impact statement regarding the shooting deaths of their parents during a convenience store robbery 17 years ago.  This is apparently enough for the parole board to deduce that 50% of the victims children are no longer interested in keeping the killer in jail, so let's release said killer.  Make sure he's released before telling Daniel, though.  The prison system needs that space and the funds that go with it to take care of grieving dad the serial killer. 

 

If this show is renewed, look for the convenience store killer to target Daniel for being such a pain in the butt and keeping him in jail longer than he 'had' to be.  It'll be found that convenience store killer visited grieving dad in prison and found out how to learn how to hack in short order, (there's probably an underground hacking school that targets unstable people and violent criminals).  Maybe they can even work together to make life miserable for the Cyber Team!  When convenience store killer is finally cornered, he won't jump from a building or be talked into giving up.  Count on him to go out shooting.

 

Through it all, PA will struggle to emote while delivering her lines in a bored monotone.  She's not even phoning it in, she's delivering her performance by pony express.

More like mule train, Pony Express is too fast. 

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Turtle

Turtle

Agreed that this show is awful.  AWFUL.  I've never been a Patricia Arquette fan but have usually found her tolerable.  I don't even know what she's trying to do here.  I do know that it is not working.  

 

Scorpion is also ridiculously unrealistic and terrible, but they seem to know it and are playing in to it, and I am fully behind it.  It's like they're pretending to take themselves seriously while winking at the audience.  This, however?  They seem to be taking themselves so seriously, not realizing that no one else is.  And none of the characters or actors are nearly as interesting or intriguing as the folks on the original CSI, so there's just nothing to enjoy.  I don't need it to make sense, but I do need it to be entertaining! 

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LisaM

LisaM

I really cannot believe how bad this show is. Patricia Arquette has no affect at all. I was hoping that the guy would shoot her after she laid down her gun and approached him.

 

Nick Stokes better plan on coming back to Las Vegas from San Diego because original CSI may not be canceled after all.

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TV Anonymous

TV Anonymous

The three System Analysts (for lack of better term) supposedly work with computer, right? Then, why are they always standing? They even work on their work stations standing up.

 

While I am not familiar at all with the legal system, why is parole hearing - if it is parole hearing at all - conducted in a court? 

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Kromm

Kromm

There's certainly different systems in place for state and federal level parole hearings.  But here's the Department of Justice on the federal ones:

 

http://www.justice.gov/uspc/parole-hearings#s1

 

In short, the courts have the initial place in setting the parameters for the parole (via the sentencing), but thereafter have no involvement at all.

 

Now, if it WAS state level, remember we had no idea what mystery state the hearing was being held in, because as we already know in the world of CSI Cyber, any of them can be anywhere they want almost instantly.  If we DO assume some logic though for the Big Guy seeming to leave work to go to a hearing, then being back later the same day, one would assume it was probably happening in Virginia or Maryland.   

 

Virgina seems to operate with a parole board.  - http://vpb.virginia.gov

And Maryland a "Parole Commission". - http://www.dpscs.state.md.us/agencies/mpc.shtml

 

It's at least possible, perhaps, that one of these agencies borrows courtrooms to hold their proceedings, although one wonders why they'd bother when all you need in an empty room somewhere.

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TV Anonymous

TV Anonymous

Kromm:

 

The Big Analyst also said, "The Prosecutor decided to release him." That brings two questions from me:

 

1. If the Bad Man is already convicted and serving his sentence, why is a prosecutor involved in this matter?

2. If he is not yet convicted, or still in appeal after 12 (?) years, why is he just released without verdict?

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Boilergal

Boilergal

I came in here for the snarky goodness - and I am not disappointed.

 

The Zogo take had promise - but they had to over "tech" it, I guess if they hadn't then it would have been a Criminal Minds instead.

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Jamoche

Jamoche

The three System Analysts (for lack of better term) supposedly work with computer, right? Then, why are they always standing? They even work on their work stations standing up.

Adjustable desks are the big thing in ergonomics for computer people - but the idea is that sometimes you sit, sometimes you stand, so you aren't spending 8 hours in the same position.

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