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Happily Ever After: Relationships Are Hard


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(edited)

It seemed to me that 3A was, if anything, setting up a love triangle that might bloom fully in 3B (but didn't, as it turned out).

This is actually somewhere where A&E's perception and my perception line up, because I think their way of describing it as "it's not really a triangle, it's more these two guys have feelings for Emma and she doesn't want to deal with either while looking for Henry" was actually pretty accurate to what I saw on-screen.

Edited by stealinghome
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(edited)

Which leads me to the question... why did they structure it as a triangle?  Why play up the supposed rivalry between them?  Did they know at the planning and writing of 3A that Neal would be a goner in 3B?  If so, why go out of their way to build a triangle without actually following through with a triangle?  Did they think this triangle play would be enjoyable to watch?  Did they think any drama = good drama?  Why not just deal with Emma/Neal and their issues separately from the buildup of trust/romance for Emma/Hook, and on the side do a bit with Neal/Hook and their shared history?

Edited by Camera One
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Well she did passionately kiss Hook. Even though it was supposedly a thank you for saving Charming, she found it legitimate enough to talk to her mom about it later when she didn't have to. When Neal came back to life though, she slammed on the brakes.

True, though even if he hadn't come back, I doubt she'd have committed to anything with him while there. I'm not saying she didn't feel anything for either of them in Neverland, but I don't think she was interested in unpacking those feelings. 

 

This is just my own fanwank, but I think Emma's issues with Hook were less about whether Neal was around and more about who he was. That bit where she tells him she doesn't really feel like part of her family or Storybrooke because they are all just fairytale characters from a book, that had to extend to him, too. Maybe even more so, as he doesn't even have a "real world" persona, which I think has always been significant. I don't think she ever seriously entertained the idea of a relationship with him until the time travel stuff. 

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She and Hook were enemies like three days ago, too. So really anything CaptainSwan in 3A was a little rushed. That's probably because Colin broke his leg in 2B, though.

Edited by KingOfHearts
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I don't think Captain Swan is fully a thing even now, so I'm not sure where it was rushed. Hook may have fallen easier because he's always been impressed with her, but who knows where Emma's head is at. She's open to a relationship with him now. Over a year later and after having Hook help her and her family and earning her trust - and I'm not talking about trading his ship for her. Hook had a lot of work to do to even get her to a place where she'd consider him as a romantic partner. That's not to say that Emma wouldn't have slept with him, but not in a romantic context.

 

@stealinghome - I've blocked out tons of the back half of Season 2, but Henry's attempt to parent trap his parents will never leave me. His plan was something like a little wine and some candlelight and Emma & Neal will be right back together. It was kind of cute in a naive way, but it really stresses how stupid it is for these adults to listen to Henry's silly speeches when you think of just how little he understands the world. Also, it really hit home that Henry never truly understood what Emma was saying when she told him why she'd lied about his father. He really didn't get how badly that relationship had hurt her.

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She and Hook were enemies like three days ago, too. So really anything CaptainSwan in 3A was a little rushed.

Agreed. And they weren't even just enemies, they had barely interacted at all since she spoke to him in the hospital in 2.12. I think the show/relationship redeemed itself by slowing the pacing down later on, but if you watch 2.22 through 3.06, a ridiculously short amount of time passes between Hook being ready to ditch the whole town and him being like "Yeah, I might fall in love with you." 

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It was kind of cute in a naive way, but it really stresses how stupid it is for these adults to listen to Henry's silly speeches when you think of just how little he understands the world.

There is only one character on Once that I openly despise - and it's post-S1 Henry. I absolutely hate how they tried to make him "smarter" than the adults and letting him do whatever he wants because they feel sorry for him. The writers dumbed down everyone else to make Henry the righteous victim, and I loathed every second of it. He definitely gets his victimization from Regina. What Henry wants from his parents, he gets.

 

He can say things like, "I love pizza because it doesn't LIE" to his own birth mother and we're supposed to feel sorry for him. He ran from home, lied to his mother countless times, stole his teacher's credit card and used it through Boston, attempted to ran again by stealing his mom's car to go back to NY, gave his heart to Pan even though his parents were pleading for him not to, invited Walsh over without his mom's consent, ditched school countless times, lied to his grandpa about going to school, tried to blow up a well with dynamite, and patronized and smart mouthed his family constantly. All this, and yet he's treated like the golden child who can do no wrong.

 

I also resent the whole, "Destroying magic will solve all our problems!" thing. Quite honestly, that's a really dumb idea. Evil people are still going to evil, Henry - magic or not.

 

If I could choose any of the main cast to be killed off, Henry would be a close second.

Edited by KingOfHearts
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He is the most destroyed character, even worse than what they did to Snow, but I can't hate him for it (it's probably because he really won me over in the pilot and in Season 1).  After 2A, they wrote Henry to serve the Regina storyline.  The worst was equating Emma lying about Henry's father to Regina's treatment of him, and shaming the Charmings with "You used to be the good guys" after Snow killed Cora.  I am more wont to blame the writing than Henry, since I do want to like him, and I actually do like him a lot when he has scenes with Emma.  I don't mind if Regina had slowly regained Henry's trust, very very gradually, with a lot of roadblocks, but they made it extremely sudden, and they use Henry's lines to put down the "good guys" (eg. telling Regina he should never have gone to find Emma).

Edited by Camera One
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I do want to make clear (since I seem to have started something) that I only meant that Emma only sounds like a Mary Sue on paper, and she does have some traits built into her characterization that could easily have made her a Mary Sue if the writers had been at all inclined to write her that way. In execution, it's entirely different. She does get masculine attention, but it's not at all the usual Mary Sue case of all the guys liking her and all the women being jealous (and being considered bitchy for being jealous). She's done some awesome things, but when it comes to the major saving-the-day stuff, someone else seems to pull that off (she did break the curse, but in some respects, Henry brought that about by forcing the issue when he ate the apple). When it comes to execution, Regina comes closer to being the Mary Sue, with a lot of telling-not-showing writing (they tell us her heart is so strong and she loves so much that she can do white magic without her heart, but they haven't shown her behaving in such a way at all) and swooping in to save the day and get credit for it (never mind that she often was the one who created the situation they needed saving from).

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Henry has been destroyed by the bipolar writing. He wanted to destroy magic in season 2, and then in S3 he gave up his own heart against all his parents wishes to save it. And let's not forget in 2.11 when he went in literally 20 seconds from "let's build an armory to protect us from Regina, she hurt Archie" to "I knew she didn't do it, let's go find her".

Edited by MaiLuna
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Henry has been destroyed by the bipolar writing.

It makes him look like he's really stupid and gullible, frankly. I don't hate his concept or acting, but his lines and attitude post-S1 are just really bad. I did really like Henry before the curse broke, though. 

He also hated Regina in S1, but then thought she was just awesome in S3. He wanted nothing to do with her, then he said he wish he'd never got Emma in the first place. It's like, what? It's a sign the writers don't want to work with him as a character. He's just a plot device they can bend to whatever they need him to be. Normal Henry wouldn't have given his heart to Pan, but since that good ol' end-of-episode twist was a go, he went out of character.

Edited by KingOfHearts
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Yeah, Henry has been really character assassinated almost as much as Snow (and Regina, oddly enough) has been since S1.

 

What I think places Henry slightly above Snow/Regina on the "character destroyed by writing" list for me is that I liked S1 Henry, but I could also very much see the potential for S1 Henry to grow into something of a know-it-all, impetuous bratty kid (if not brat) who knows how to manipulate the adults around him (although this doesn't excuse them from always falling for it, writers). Precociousness so often can turn into obnoxiousness, after all. So, I agree that he's gotten the Regina Lobotomy almost as bad as Snow--but I don't find that his entire personality was given a facelift the way Snow's was. S1 Henry was always lecturing the adults around him. He was always convinced he was right and wanted to do his own thing. He always disobeyed the adult authority figures around him, sometimes putting himself in danger as a result. Etc. I just think it's more annoying now because what's cute at 10 isn't cute at 13/14 (which is what Jared G looks, regardless of how old Henry "is"), and because of the aforementioned Regina Lobotomy.

 

Although yeah, the utter stupidity of Henry ripping out his own heart despite all three of his parents pleading with him not to? That moment of utter STUPID may only be equaled by Snow's diner speech in terms of "stupidest thing a character on this show has done." And, let's be real, those two moments have a lot of competition for the top spot.

Edited by stealinghome
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That moment of utter STUPID may only be equaled by Snow's diner speech in terms of "stupidest thing a character on this show has done." And, let's be real, those two moments have a lot of competition for the top spot.

 

Which episode was Snow's speech in?

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I didn't hate Snow's speech in 2.22. I had more problems with the conversation she had with Regina at the end of 3.18 when she basically made a joke out of all the times Regina tried to kill her.

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And the worst thing was, they could have made Henry ripping out his heart make sense, if they had used the whole Wendy scenario better (without character assassinating her too).  But the way it was framed was just ridiculous.

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I liked Cursed!Henry. You know, the one who acted like a normal, slightly cynical pre-teen who will play video games 'til the end of time and wants nothing to do with the baby obsessed adults his mom dumped him on. S1 Henry still acted young for his age, but I could get past it. As both he and the actor have aged, it doesn't work as well and he's often a major brat. I wonder if Emma ever lit into him for planning to steal her car and drive to the bus station. That's not precocious or cute, that's incredible dangerous and potentially deadly to not only himself but everyone else on the road. Still, he was an okay kid and I liked his relationship with Emma - aside from the inappropriate Walsh romantic intervention. And then they gave him his memories back and he's right back into the book and fairytales are the bestest thing ever. Damn them, I was just starting to like Henry again and they had to go and screw it up.

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(edited)

I kinda liked Panry, actually.  It would have been fun if Regina's consequence had continued in S3 even after the Curse "broke".  So Henry still didn't remember Regina, and she was saddled with an evil version of Henry trying to kill her once in a while.

Edited by Camera One
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It's not the disobedience or acting out that bothers me. Being from a strict household, and now becoming a teenager, that stuff is totally expected. What I don't like is how the other characters react to it. Even though Henry constantly undermines them, he doesn't get reprimanded and everyone still thinks he's just the best kid to ever walk the earth. When Regina or Emma would get after him, it was played like they were wrong for it. I'm not saying I want to start a #PunishHenry campaign, but it really harms his development as a character when he's treated as the angelic golden child. Why would you want to development a character that's already "perfect" in all they do?

 

Oh wow - Regina and Henry have the same problem! I finally get how the Woegina haters feel.

Edited by KingOfHearts
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That's why I really liked it when Emma yelled at him in "A Curious Thing".  That was a pretty awesome scene, especially if you focus on Emma's face.  She seemed shocked at herself, but she did the right thing.  I really want to see more of that... Emma getting more to be a real parent.  That was more interesting to me than any of the love interest stuff she got instead.

Edited by Camera One
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Even though Henry constantly undermines them, he doesn't get reprimanded and everyone still thinks he's just the best kid to ever walk the earth. When Regina or Emma would get after him, it was played like they were wrong for it. I'm not saying I want to start a #PunishHenry campaign, but it really harms his development as a character when he's treated as the angelic golden child.

 

This is why I almost can't stand scenes with Henry anymore (Jared's age and acting don't help either). He's either bratty or spouts overly-wise advice. I liked him way better in S1.

 

That's why I really liked it when Emma yelled at him in "A Curious Thing".  That was a pretty awesome scene, especially if you focus on Emma's face.  She seemed shocked at herself, but she did the right thing.  I really want to see more of that... Emma getting more to be a real parent.

 

Except she got berated for it by Mary Margaret. How dare she reprimand the Golden Child!! IIRC, Mary Margaret berated Emma in the only other one-on-one conversation she had with her in 3B as well. I hate this show sometimes!

Edited by Rumsy4
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I didn't like the scene outside the diner because the camera panned to Regina's face after Emma yelled at Henry and I think we were supposed to feel like Regina would have handled the situation better, which is not how I see Regina's parenting abilities at all, to put it mildly. Maybe I'm reading too much into things.

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I loved it when Emma yelled at Henry. He was being a brat about things and needed to be told to stay out of adult issues. Then he proved his lack of maturity by immediately running off to steal a car when he didn't get his way. It was the first time I've seen Emma treat that kid like the child he is. I was thinking look at that, Emma actually is a mother to him and she's not trying to be his best friend or big sister. Of course they ruined it by having Mary Margaret go after Emma for yelling at Henry. And I know they were trying to tell me that Emma was wrong, but whatever, I've dealt with plenty of pre-teens and Emma's reaction was not uncalled for. Not that yelling is the best thing ever, but a firm "no" is extremely necessary for teenagers who love to push boundaries. Yay for a realistic mother/son relationship!  

 

Also, it would be my greatest wish for Mary Margaret to experience Emma Swan: The Teen Years because that would be eye opening. I'd be willing to bet Emma was completely off the rails by the time she was Henry's age. Trying to parent that would be an interesting endeavor.

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Emma was so far from being wrong.  I think she should yell at him more often when he puts his nose in adult business and ground him for good measure.  Emma had a whole year of being just her and him, so I'm assuming there were instances when she must've lost patience, must've told him to stop playing video games and do his homework and maybe grounded him for misbehaving.

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Aside from the year in NYC, Henry has no real frame of reference for how relationships work in families.  His mother was the evil queen (and I still think quite an abusive mother), he didn't have any father figure until just before his father died, he was isolated from friends in a sterile home, he was the only child who was growing at a normal human development pace in the entire town, and his extended family are all fairy tale characters.  A lot of people grow up in dysfunctional homes, but this one is a doozy.  There's a long line of dysfunction here:  Snow's parents were both murdered and her stepmother has been trying to kill her for years yet she can't stop needing to be loved by her, Regina had Cora to heap abuse on her and kill her boyfriend, Rumple-forget about it, Emma-need I say more?  Aside from all of their inner conflicts dealing with individual issues, how would any of them know how to function in most any relationship?  Maybe David excepted, and he does seem to have a little more on the ball with parenting, if you leave out that stupid driving stunt with Henry.

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(edited)

 

That's why I really liked it when Emma yelled at him in "A Curious Thing".  That was a pretty awesome scene, especially if you focus on Emma's face.  She seemed shocked at herself, but she did the right thing.  I really want to see more of that... Emma getting more to be a real parent.  That was more interesting to me than any of the love interest stuff she got instead.

 

I love that scene too! It's unfortunate it was played off as a bad thing. (Sort of like killing Cora...) Henry was being snotty about it too - after Emma got after him, he said something along the lines of, "can I at least have my gameboy while I'm in prison". Between that and complaining about bagels, he's a spoiled, bratty kid. NY might have actually made him even snobbier. 

Edited by KingOfHearts
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Except she got berated for it by Mary Margaret. How dare she reprimand the Golden Child!! I

 

 

 

Of course they ruined it by having Mary Margaret go after Emma for yelling at Henry.

 

I didn't get the sense that Mary Margaret was berating or "going after" Emma.  She said "it's not like you" but didn't press the issue.   It seems like everything MM/Snow says is wrong these days.

Edited by Camera One
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Okay, so this is what Eddy and Adam just said at Comi-Con:

 

Eddy: In our version of true love, true love is when you truly love somebody and soulmate is the idea that there is only one for you.  And on our show, we have learned that happy endings aren't what they expect, so even though you love somebody, if that doesn't work out, it's okay to love again.

 

Adam: And I think true love and soulmates are things which are in flux and you can work and you can confine them and there is always hope for finding what you think is your true love or soulmate.

 

I thought it was implied before this that the meaning was the reverse?  That everyone had "one true love".  So now "soulmate" is the proper term for when there's just one?  And here we thought they used soulmate so they could say Robin Hood isn't necessarily Regina's one true love.  

 

"True love" is just "when you REALLY love somebody"?  LOL!  And then Adam had to add in there that it's "in flux" aka we can change this definition whenever.

 

So what makes "true love's kiss" special then?  

Edited by Camera One
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Okay, so this is what Eddy and Adam just said at Comi-Con:

 

 

 

I thought it was implied before this that the meaning was the reverse?  That everyone had "one true love".  So now "soulmate" is the proper term for when there's just one?  And here we thought they used soulmate so they could say Robin Hood isn't necessarily Regina's one true love.  

 

"True love" is just "when you REALLY love somebody"?  LOL!  And then Adam had to add in there that it's "in flux" aka we can change this definition whenever.

They have no idea what they're doing, and haven't thought about what they've previously written since they turned the script over to the actors, have they?  That makes little to no sense, based on what they've shown so far.

 

They better come up with a good excuse for why Emma has magic, then, because so far it's been "She's a True Love child!", and you're not going to convince me that Emma's the only child in the existence of the Enchanted Forest whose parents have loved each other.

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(edited)

 

Honestly, that answer kind of made no sense to me. It seemed like romance word salad.

Ditto. It's like they themselves don't even understand their own mechanics.

 

 

I thought "soulmate" just meant the person you were most compatible with. True Love is a bit more vague. I'm not sure what the difference between "normal love" and "true love" is, because if anyone you honestly loved was True Love, then anyone could just TLK or have special babies. It really cheapens Snowing and Emma when just anyone can be True Love.

 

The answer was like, "We love Outlaw Queen, so let's just say they're the most legit couple on the show and leave it at that! What did you think we were going to do legitimate worldbuilding or something?"

Edited by KingOfHearts
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Well, I've always thought it was possible to have more than one true love because of the parent/child TLKs. It's also why I believe they could pull off a triad with Aurora/Phillip/Mulan if they had the guts.

But if Regina and Robin are soul mates then Charming and Snow need a whole new category for themselves. Sharing a heart true soul love mates or something.

Edited by InsertWordHere
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I thought it was implied before this that the meaning was the reverse?  That everyone had "one true love".  So now "soulmate" is the proper term for when there's just one?  And here we thought they used soulmate so they could say Robin Hood isn't necessarily Regina's one true love.  

 

"True love" is just "when you REALLY love somebody"?  LOL!  And then Adam had to add in there that it's "in flux" aka we can change this definition whenever.

 

So what makes "true love's kiss" special then?  

 

Nearly choked on my ice pop watching the vid /reading it. Definite undefined. Comedians.

 

And for once quoting myself:

 

 

Could say: soulmates are kinda meant to marry, while true love is something not necessarily limited to romantic relationships. The funny thing is, that somehow the terms commonly are used the other way around, soulmate for even non-romantic relationship while true love has become a quality or high form of romance.

(...)

My more sarcastic take if looking at what so far has been shown on the show: Soulmate is the special bonding fate puts you in, if you earned it or not. True love is the special feeling you have because you bonded strongly and work on keeping that connection, you have to earn it.

 

(see page 9)

 

I rest my case. lol

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(edited)

I always thought that true love was one part of being soulmates.  So Snow and David are true loves but not soulmates?  How does that make any sense?

 

Someone?  Anyone?

 

Bueller?

 

ETA - Talking strictly about romantic love in this case.

Edited by YaddaYadda
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(edited)

I always thought that true love was one part of being soulmates.  So Snow and David are true loves but not soulmates?  How does that make any sense?

 

Was it ever stated by the writers or on the show that Snow and David are not soulmates? I am wondering. Of course it's still strange if they never use the term in context with Snow and David, but there is a difference between explicitly saying, they are not, and not saying they are. Just saying (what they eventually could say later, lol). But seriously, have they said that or is that our interpretation because the term was so far never used in describing the relationship between Snow and Charming.

 

I kinda agree with you, true love can be understood, and is by many I think, as a part of being soulmates. One could argue, soulmates are the ones who do complete us, but to make it fully happen it takes the work of true love. Meanwhile people don't need to be soulmates to develop and feel true love for each other.

Edited by katusch
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They never said Snow and Charming aren't soulmates, but from what I can recall, Season 3 Episode 3 was the first time they used the word soulmate to describe a romantic coupling.  It seemed to be the first time it was used in a significant way, and it was remarkable if only for the fact that soulmate was used in lieu of "one true love".

 

If Eddy is now defining soulmates thus, they would probably use the word to describe Snow and Charming as well.  It's just curious why they began using the soulmate word to begin with, why they used it for Regina/Robin, and whether the headwriters have actually thought clearly about it and defined it, or if they're just sprouting whatever.  

 

ETA:

Okay, found a use of it in "Snow Falls":

 

Emma: Okay, kid. Telling someone their soulmate is in a coma is probably not helpful. Not having a happy ending is painful enough, but giving someone unrealistic hope is far worse.

Edited by Camera One
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But if Regina and Robin are soul mates then Charming and Snow need a whole new category for themselves. Sharing a heart true soul love mates or something.

Mega-Soulmates!!!!

 

(Except then you know A&E would make Outlaw Queen Mega-MEGA-Soulmates. Just because.)

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(edited)

Stressing that you only get ONE soulmate suggests either Outlaw Queen is endgame, or this will be used to justify Regina flying off the handle.

 

Though Adam did throw in a whole bunch of wiggle room with the subsequent comment about definitions being in "flux" and about "thinking" someone is your soulmate.  

 

So here's the pattern:

 

Headwriter 1: Says something definitive

Headwriter 2: Adds a comment which makes it completely vague.

Headwriter 1: Throws in a joke.  Everyone laughs and is diverted.  

 

Next question.

Edited by Camera One
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Stressing that you only get ONE soulmate suggests either Outlaw Queen is endgame, or this will be used to justify Regina flying off the handle.

Well, they've not really needed a legitimate reason before--why would they be starting now?

 

 

Though Adam did throw in a whole bunch of wiggle room with the subsequent comment about definitions being in "flux" and about "thinking" someone is your soulmate.  

 

That's an interesting point.  I wonder if they feel they need wiggle room on Regina/Robin--if it's going over differently than they expected?

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(edited)
Well, they've not really needed a legitimate reason before--why would they be starting now?

 

The more Regina is redeemed, the more important the reason for any backslide.  

 

Implying that if Regina lost Robin, she won't get another one (and that's not even saying super-forgiving guys who accept you even if you killed a village aren't a dime a dozen), would justify any "mean" thing she does.

Edited by Camera One
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I thought the quote was actually "happy endings are NOT always what people expect" So, even if one had a fated soulmate, the person's Happy Ending could be with someone else. Maybe Regina can get a Happy Ending with someone other than Robin. Who am I kidding?

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Thanks, Rumsy, I fixed the transcript.

 

Though I still don't understand what Eddy is saying.  So with soulmates, you get one, but happy ending aren't what they expect, so if it doesn't work out, they'll find another one?  So it's one at a time?  

Edited by Camera One
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Here's the ridiculous thing about the you can have several true loves but only have one soul mate thing. It renders Regina's entire vendetta against Snow moot. When Daniel died, the writers said Regina went nuts because she'd lost her one chance at True Love. That's a terrible thing and while I don't buy blaming it all on a kid a decent motive, if you're crazy already, I can see where the psycho tendencies came out because her only chance at True Love was gone. Now, however, they're saying that soul mates are the most special thing of all and you only get one. So when did she learn that Robin was her soul mate? Before she went on her epic kill/enslave/curse terror spree through the Enchanted Forest! Way to negate any slight motive for Regina destroying Snow's (and everyone else's) life. Not only that, but they had Regina walk away from her One True Soul Mate of her own free will! No one's choice but her own. Adam & Eddy need to either shut up or actually get someone to explain how rules are important in world building and how breaking them can ruin your entire story.

Edited by KAOS Agent
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Thanks, Rumsy, I fixed the transcript.

Though I still don't understand what Eddy is saying. So with soulmates, you get one, but happy ending aren't what they expect, so if it doesn't work out, they'll find another one? So it's one at a time?

Who knows?? They've changed their rules to only one Soul Mate per person, so they can justify Regina's anger at Emma for bringing Marian back.

To me, it seems that having True Love for a person trumps any potential pixie-dust verified eHarmony Soul Mate. But I'm sure that's not how Adam and Eddy look at it!

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(edited)

Those definitions are total nonsense (I was going to use a stronger word but I'm a polite girl), but they give them a way to define all their relationships and change things whenever they need. This way Daniel was Regina's true love, so she was right being mad at Snow, and Robin is her soulmate so she can be mad at Emma. And Now, for example, they can give magic to Henry and say that Emma and Neal were true love, but say that Emma and Hook are soulmates .

Edited by RadioGirl27
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To me, it seems that having True Love for a person trumps any potential pixie-dust verified eHarmony Soul Mate. But I'm sure that's not how Adam and Eddy look at it!

 

Seems that way to me, too.  The whole pixie dust thing is such simplistic horse poo to begin with. 

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