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Jupiter Ascending (2015)


Rick Kitchen
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The reviews were really harsh on this one. It's not great, by all means, but it's not especially awful either. The worldbuilding is great and the visuals frequently stunning. It feels very original even though it hits about every cliché possible.

 

I mean, sure, Mila Kunis was pretty weak in the title role (I wish the vastly more talented Gugu Mbatha-Raw could have played Jupiter instead of just playing a minor role where she had very little to do except look gorgeous), Eddie Redmayne's manicness bordered on parody and the score was seriously awful, but the action was good, the idea is fascinating and there was some visually amazing scenes.

 

I was entertained. And hey, Sean Bean didn't die. (Is this a spoiler?)

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Yeah, I thought this was much better than critics/headlines made it out to be. Of course, it's a big popcorn movie, not a future Oscar winner, but I thought the effects were just visually stunning and I find Mila Kunis to be charming as hell. Eddie Redmayne and Sean Bean were fun to see, and overall it was entertaining and beautiful to look at. Not the best film I've ever seen, but not worth the pre-release disaster buzz either. 

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It wasn't terrible or great.  It was just so/so but expectations were high because of the Wachowskis' previous work. I've definitely seen worse. The characters were incredibly thin in their characterization.   I think in particular Jupiter needed to be more rounded out.  I think she could have been a more grey sort of character who is very tempted by the wealth and immortality initially.   The action scenes were too long and actually got boring for me.  I almost fell asleep in the middle of one.   The score was derivative in the worst way.   Overall it was crazy repetitive with Jupiter pretty much believing whatever the person in front of her tells her with Caine having to  rescue her over and over until the end.   There was no tension or surprises at all.  I realize these types of movies tend to follow cliches but with creativity there are ways to infuse the story with more gravity so that there are stakes the audience can care about, energy, and amusement.

 

I think if they had shortened the action scenes and made them less repetitive and gave the characters more depth in order to raise the stakes it would have much better.   The visuals were lovely.   The beginnings of world building showed promise, but I felt I needed more.  The scene where she's working through the bureaucracy gave me a nice Terry Gillliam or Douglas Adams vibe that more could have been done with.   Maybe if it had a more Fifth Element sort of sensibility where there was more room for fun and surprise in the storytelling I would have really enjoyed it.   I really think the movie's biggest crime is being boring.  I  think I could have forgiven a lot if they managed to make it more interesting.  My sister said it was too cheesy, and I said it wasn't cheesy enough because at least it would have been more entertaining.

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Heh, as soon as the daughter coughed, my friend turned to me and said "okay, she's dying. That's gonna be Sean Bean's motivation to betray them". This movie really wasn't big on unexpected twists.

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What makes it a failure?  It probably will be, but it's third for the weekend and its per screen numbers are huge.

I guess just in relation to its budget ($150M I think, plus marketing). I do think that it will do better overseas though, as the studio is apparently hoping.

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I also thought it was entertaining.  Maybe not a great movie, but  not terrible either.  And the costumes were gorgeous.

 

The same could not be same for Channing Tatum's look.  I hated that goatee.

 

And did it remind anyone else of Flash Gordon?  Hero with a weird name, over-the-top villain that wants to destroy Earth, outlandish space costumes, space wedding that ends with a bang...seriously, was anyone else thinking this?

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And did it remind anyone else of Flash Gordon?  Hero with a weird name, over-the-top villain that wants to destroy Earth, outlandish space costumes, space wedding that ends with a bang...seriously, was anyone else thinking this?

I totally get the Flash Gordon comparison.  Flash Gordon was campier though but I still have a major soft spot for it. 

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True, it was campy and repetitive (Caine kept on rescuing Jupiter like a video-game character), but I had a good time.

 

For all it's worth, I had an eyefull of lovely visuals (not talking about space fights, I couldn't tell what's going on in those) and hope that one day Frank Herbert's Dune will be filmed - again - but this time properly.

 

A great lot of the imagery could have been taken from the Dune series (God Emperor, Chapterhouse Dune).

 

I didn't get the Flash Gordon imprssion, but now that you've mentioned it... It even had a winged character!

I kept thinking Caine and Stinger had wasp-like wings, not bird-like... Oh well.

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The same could not be same for Channing Tatum's look.  I hated that goatee.
Not to mention the pointy ears and troll hair. Did he remember to take the cookies out of the oven before he left the tree to come rescue Mila Kunis?
 

And did it remind anyone else of Flash Gordon?  Hero with a weird name, over-the-top villain that wants to destroy Earth, outlandish space costumes, space wedding that ends with a bang...seriously, was anyone else thinking this?

It does sound like there are a lot of similarities when summarized, but I gather Flash Gordon was a lot more fun.

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I think I've been thinking about this movie too much. I'd love to see a novelization with more details on the politics.

And what happens if you give birth to identical twins?!?

Edited by Cerulean
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I also thought it was entertaining.  Maybe not a great movie, but  not terrible either.  And the costumes were gorgeous.

 

The same could not be same for Channing Tatum's look.  I hated that goatee.

 

And did it remind anyone else of Flash Gordon?  Hero with a weird name, over-the-top villain that wants to destroy Earth, outlandish space costumes, space wedding that ends with a bang...seriously, was anyone else thinking this?

Flash Gordon the 80s version with the songs by Queen is certainly a good comparison. 

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My mom and I watched this over the weekend.  We agreed that it had potential and the visuals were good, but it was lacking something.  Couldn't help feeling like there were scenes or explanations missing. 

 

Also, could someone please explain why everyone talks so damn low?  It's not just this movie, (though it seemed really bad here), but various tv shows and other movies as well. 

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I think that Honest Trailer really illustrates my feelings for this movie. Sure, it wasn't the worst thing I've ever seen, but as others mentioned it had potential to be good and it definitely lacked...a lot. I was particularly annoyed (out of all other things wrong with it) the scene when they're trying to get a license or whatever at their version of the DMV. That was tedious and unfunny to me.
If Eddie Redmayne knew this movie was cheese, good on him for that performance, otherwise, yikes. That was not good though I don't necessarily blame him for it.
 

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Also, could someone please explain why everyone talks so damn low?  It's not just this movie, (though it seemed really bad here), but various tv shows and other movies as well. 

Prettty sure that is how most human conversations are. You don't want people the next street over hearing your conversations do you? I get annoyed when a certain group talks because anyone in a several block radius can hear their insane prattle. They sound like a gathering of howler monkeys. Learn to speak at normal tone instead of screaming voice. They look baffled when the police arrest them for crimes they had committed or were planning to commit because the police overheard them talking. 

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Low talk works in real life. Grand cinematic productions demand annunciation. When the volume needs to be adjusted continuously so one can either hear dialogue or not blow out the speakers, there's a problem.

I liked the movie, but I think it could have been tightened up. I also thought it was repetitive in that Tatum was constantly rescuing Kunis. That's all the movie was to me: a montage of rescue scenes. Speaking of repetitive, why do the Wachowskis constantly have human farming as a running theme in their movies? It's not very shocking anymore. Also, did Jupiter end all harvesting in the universe? I don't think that was covered.

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I think she just decided to sit on Earth rather than harvesting its population. Which saves the people there, but also means that the source of the vast majority of her wealth and power sits fallow and limits her ability to make any changes to the larger interstellar community. And also means she better be damn sure whoever her heirs are won't turn the planet over for a massive payout once she's gone.

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I finally got around to watching this movie. I knew I would when I heard the Wachowskis and Mila Kunis were on board. Charming Potato doesn't hurt either, but he looked pretty hokey with that goatee and those ears.

 

Even though the reviews were terrible, the direction and Kunis can go very far for me and it did. I don't think it was the best film ever, but it's a real shame that original Hollywood action movies like this are now becoming rarer.

 

Kunis and Tatum usually have good chemistry with their costars, but I think Kunis was giving a bit, but Tatum didn't seem to know how to play his tortured werewolf bounty hard schitck in relation to her. The biggest issues this movie had were first, the long action sequences. All of them could have been cut a couple of minutes shorter. Secondly, as it sometimes happens with Wachowski movies, the characters took things a bit too seriously. There wasn't enough light humor. It's a sci-fi adventure film, lighten up! It was just action scenes and emo characters. I blame the script really.

 

I did like that Jupiter took down psycho Eddit Redmayne by herself and the concept and world building were really nice. Good cast, nice action, and still entertaining.

 

I think she just decided to sit on Earth rather than harvesting its population. Which saves the people there, but also means that the source of the vast majority of her wealth and power sits fallow and limits her ability to make any changes to the larger interstellar community. And also means she better be damn sure whoever her heirs are won't turn the planet over for a massive payout once she's gone.

 

I had a lot of questions about her inheritance. She basically got Earth and what else? Since she's fundamentally against harvesting, she'll live out a normal mortal life. Her heirs will probably be her natural ones and she won't be rich because she won't harvest and get profits. I had a lot of questions about that ending and world that won't ever be answered.

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I finally got around to seeing this movie, & boy did it suck. I hated Jupiter's character, I absolutely hated the whispery voice Eddie Redmayne used, I hated Jupiter's family & their stupid accents, I hated all the different aliens they had just so we know this happens in outer space, I hated the stupid plot, I hated the really loud music, I just hated the movie. The only thing I liked were the flying boots.

Edited by GaT
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