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Meredith Quill
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(edited)

I like the idea of an innocent (Avram) being the unwitting hero just because he came to love a baby cow. And the "innocent" Josh 2.0 being EEEEEEVIL.  Peter is an idiot. I do not get what his role is here in the end game.  Even the Anne Heche character was more stealthy than Golan and Peter. Like when they bust through the window in the psychiatric hospital right after the nurse walks through that room and they are walking all loud and not even attempting to be covert and quiet, BUT they gained access by walking in the front door? Why not just pretend to leave and just come back in? (Unless I saw the scene incorrectly).

Nope.. I had the same reaction.. why are they coming in through the window? Didn't they just enter the place through an unlocked front door and watch the nurse walk through an open doorway to get into the office that they just climbed (noisily) into through the window? Later Golan drags a metal chair across the hard floor to talk to someone who is supposed to be practically comatose from drugs and shouldn't have noise coming from his room. But Emma finds him walking down a random open street (in the middle of the road).. she probably heard all the noise, but by the time she got there, Peter had gone so she could only mow down Golan. (And WTF? Hasn't she had plenty of other chances to kill one or both of them? Maybe her only role is to make sure PETER not only fullfills his destin but doesn't find out what it is until it is "time")

 

Peter's role in all this is apparently to finally finish seminary through real world experience "life-credits" and be the reincarnation of Saint Peter or some such thing.

 

Or he's the antichrist.. Satan, the fallen angel.

 

Maybe if Avram had shaved a pentagram into Red's hair, they couldn't just wash it off in time for the arrival of the high priest and pretend it never happened, although I suppose they could all wait for it to grow back.

 

What was the deal with the books? DId they contain something that I missed (or immediately fogot, because really, who cares at this point? I just want to see a finale where Avram and Red go to a small farm to live out their days with suitable loving mates.

Edited by slothgirl
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This show actually had our protagonist have sex with his daughter's doppelganger and we were supposed to think it was sexy??!! They didn't even play it as provocative which would have made a little more sense.

 

The show's main problem is that people have to do stupid things to move the plot forward. Also, no one just gives information solely to keep the audience in the dark.

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I liked Red in racing stripes!  She's cute whatever she wears.  Avram should have nicked her ear.

 

Loved the entry through the window.  Golan leaps up like a cat and lands on his feet on top of the windowsill.  Then Peter goes and manages to get one leg through and has to lumber the rest of his body through.  Poor Jason Isaacs - it sucks to get old.

 

Is the next one the finale?  Or is it the "one more exciting episode before the finale!"

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Poor Golan. He tells someone on the phone that he spent the night in the trunk of his car and the other person doesn't even say "Errr... What?". Then his day just goes downhill from there.

  

I assumed his friend thought he was speaking metaphorically. I was more concerned by the passers-by who saw a man struggling to get out of a trunk and didn't ask if he was okay or anything.

 

Now that we know what the conspiracy is up to, how crappy are they?  If they've had millennia to organize this, why did they let Anne H. get the job she has?  Why not just put in one of their own?  

 

Why in god's name did Reverend Evil hire Deb at all, why not just employ someone who's in on the scheme?  Turns out he can afford to charter a goddamn plane - why skimp and hire an ex-drug addict who would have ruined everything (were she not so stupid)?

 

For that matter, why the fuck didn't they fly Red directly, surrounded by guards?  The Conspiracy knows the Essenes are out there, why give them any chance at all to screw with your plans?  Put it on your charge card - if the world ends, you won't have to pay up.

 

You said it, Pez.  Good on the conspiracy to figure that Peter would feel both fatherly-protective and succumb to the power of boners with the same person.  And this for a guy with a sucking chest wound packed with mud.

 

I'm not even gonna get into why Peter and Golan seem to believe that the Conspiracy might actually end the world. I will say that if the Conspiracy had any sense at all, I bet they could have pulled off their prep work without killing or alarming anyone, least of all Peter whom the Essene guy seems to believe is integral to foiling the plan.

I assumed they hired Debbie because they felt a drug addict would be controlled easily. Also, If Josh 1.0 had lived, she might have been very useful in managing him since they had a great rapport.

It's not clear to me who brought Peter into the game, though we know Emma works for them. Whoever it is may have needed Lynn in place to manage him. Maybe it's the same people organizing Josh, Red, etc. The Essenes knew Peter was important but I didn't think that they were the ones who involved him...

The fact that he slept with Emma is super-disturbing. I'm beginning to believe he molested his daughter--that's the only way his fatherly affection and sexual attraction to a girl who looks like his daughter makes a y sense at all. Also, what is up with us not ever seeing his wife during their phone conversations? Is it just a matter of the show saving a few bucks by not hiring an actress or is she the one who brought Peter into the game?

Likes: Avram and Red! I am okay with him killing Josh to save Red. Josh 1.0 would have been a different story.

Also like Lynn sleuthing and fighting off that guy (until the woman joined in and bashed her head).

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(edited)

I like the idea of an innocent (Avram) being the unwitting hero just because he came to love a baby cow.

I just want to see a finale where Avram and Red go to a small farm to live out their days with suitable loving mates.

All of these just make me love Avram and Red more. Don't they dare kill either one of them off! They've already offed Golan who was the only other character that I was invested in aside from Avram and Red. Such disappointment!

This show actually had our protagonist have sex with his daughter's doppelganger and we were supposed to think it was sexy??!!

I really have no idea what the point of all of that was for. Obviously they've been teasing it since the pilot but still, what the heck?! We're supposed to believe that Peter is in some kind of deep depressing funk ever since his daughter killed herself, so much so that he chose to leave the States and go to Jerusalem on a self-imposed exile of some sort. So when by "chance" he meets his dead daughter's doppelganger, he starts becoming attracted to her in an icky sexual way and starts having weird sex dreams/hallucinations about her and they eventually do the dirty?!

I get him feeling immediately protective of her because he might feel that he wasn't able to protect his own daughter but that should be all there is. All of these weirdly inappropriate turn of events just makes him even less of a protagonist and less worthy to root for.

Edited by lovemytvshows
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I just want to see a finale where Avram and Red go to a small farm to live out their days with suitable loving mates.

 

This, a thousand times.

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Only Dig could make love between a boy and a cow something pure and to be admired, while making love between a grown man and a woman disgusting and tawdry.

Sign me up for Avram and Red forevah club.

 

I hope Red doesn't go through an ugly adolescence.

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(edited)

This show.  The stupid.  It burns.

 

I can't with the incest-lite that implies child molestation.  He did rape his daughter?  The one whose greatest claim to fame was singing Kermit's muppet song about rainbows?

 

HE'S THE GODDAMNED HERO?

 

I just can't.  Anymore.

 

Let me know how it turns out.  Or, maybe not.  No.  Don't worry about it.  

 

I'll miss Red and her little blue coat.  Avram will give her a good home.

Edited by Captanne
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(edited)

Also, for the love of God, tell me how white paint defiles the cow (and the Rabbi says it does -- he's hell bent on going on with the ceremony despite the defilement* -- he never says to the other boy, "Nah.  A little paint doesn't matter."  It's all "We'll go on with it and hide it and don't you dare tell anyone!!"**)

 

If white paint DOES defile the cow, as the Rabbi and the rabbinical student clearly believe, then how did a trip on a fucking Ukrainian cargo ship and a stay in a barn in Croatia NOT defile the cow?  She didn't get any barn paint on her while rubbing her back?  She didn't get any boat paint on her while she was pawing the floor of the boat?  (And not once FED, mind you.  We haven't seen her cared for properly since Scandinavia.  But that's for another aneurism.)

 

And if it DOES defile the cow, * and **, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU JUST IGNORE IT AND GO ON WITH THE RITUAL?!!!!  

 

After all this care, how does that not RUIN THE RITUAL WHETHER YOU TELL ANYONE OR NOT?????

 

My head.

 

Oh, my head.  It doth explodeth. 

 

ETA:  Why do I bother?  I'm a PhD candidate with a twenty page paper on a topic that is not in my field due in two weeks.  And I'm wasting time and brain cells on this drivel.  On the other hand, if I go on a dig to Jerusalem I might get laid by a guy with incest issues.  Wait.  No.

Edited by Captanne
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(edited)

Tip o' the hat to The Event which popularized the quick recovery from a gunshot to the chest. Bit of mud, night's sleep. Next morning get somebody to pull it out, take a pill, all sorted.

 

Wasn't the episode two before this called Trust no one? Emma would be an example of that. Don't trust Emma. Too bad losing Golan but for god's sakes man, practice some stealth. Died from being an idiot.

 

Genius Peter said Hmm Jehoshaphat--I've heard that name somewhere before! Yea, so have I. Ever heard of Jumpin Jehoshaphat? Maybe the writers hadn't.

 

What a trainwreck.

Edited by fauntleroy
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Tip o' the hat to The Event which popularized the quick recovery from a gunshot to the chest. Bit of mud, night's sleep. Next morning get somebody to pull it out, take a pill, all sorted.

 

Never saw The Event, it made me think of 24 (just like the side stories that go nowhere did) when Tony got shot in the neck, was comatose and then 2 episodes later was wearing a band aid on it.

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(edited)

Get a VETERINARIAN to pull it out.  Lest we forget.

 

ETA:  Wait - a veterinarian?  Okay, so if they do hurt Red we have a qualified doctor waiting in the wings.  Phew.

Edited by Captanne
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Also Golan getting 'knocked out', waking up in the trunk of his car hours later, none the worse for wear. Climbs out, tugs his shirt straight, and off he goes. A minor inconvenience, not even worth stopping at the house for a shower and change of clothes.

 

It's a lazy and irresponsible screenwriting device. Contributes to the mentality that real men should just shake concussions off and get back in the game.

 

And what was the point of it? He just caught up with Peter later anyway who told him about what happened. His clumsy overlooking and speedy konk out by the stealthy shepherd was pointless wasn't it? He could have just stayed home and had a nice dinner on the patio.

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Ladies and gentlemen,

In order to entice you all to watch one last time, I propose the following game:

Pick the beverage of your choice.

Anytime Peter does something stupid, take a sip.

Anytime Lynn shows up with her hair looking messy, take a 2 sips

Anytime Peter does something creepily incestuous, take 3 sips.

If anything bad happens to Red, drink the entire glass, cup, etc.

If Avram kills Josh, treat yourself to the dessert of your choice in celebration.  Actually, if any annoying characters are killed, treat yourself.

 

At the end of the episode, come to this forum in whatever state of inebriation/sugar high you're in and post your comments!

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Wait, so the bad guys (I.e. Rabbi Lev, Ambassador Ridell, Tad Gillingham, Margrove, Emma) are called the "Order of Moriah"? Was this established previously (I know there was an episode titled that or something or rather) but they've never really (individually or otherwise) said they belonged to said Order.

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(edited)

I knew it was a bad idea for Peter to tell Emma where he was going! And I thought Avram would at least nick Red's ear, something small but permanent and noticeable. Now he has to kill Josh2.0?

Yeah, I had the same thought. Clearly it would be up to interpretation (like all of the Bible) whether spray paint counts as a blemish. It's more likely that a blemish would mean a mole or scar or mark, so giving it a cut on the back, or nick on the ear or tail would be much more effective.

I'm not even gonna get into why Peter and Golan seem to believe that the Conspiracy might actually end the world.

SO MUCH THIS. So we're to believe that because these nuts believe dotting all their Old Testament I's and crossing their Biblical T's means bringing about Armageddon, that it really will? Like how those Heaven's Gate cultists flew up to ride the spaceship following Comet Hale Bopp?

 

Peter with the former redhead creeped me out because he thought she looked like his daughter at one point?! Ew! I also had a strong feeling she was lying about being imprisoned -- why didn't these people kill her? They have no problem leaving bodies lying around.

 

So, the "high priest" kid is considered "pure"? Despite the fact he's a cold-blooded murderer? Weird idea of pure for any religion. Obviously Avram is the true pure one. So cute. He and his cow -- maybe Season 2 can be about their adventures.

 

Speaking of a Season 2, I'm deeply disturbed by the idea that next week is the "season" ender. Season? There are more of these coming? Say it isn't so!

Edited by Andromeda
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Here's how I look at it. Even if their actions don't bring about the real apocalypse, these crazies may have a backup plan, like bombs that detonate around the Middle East, creating WWIII. They would find some way of justifying it... However, I would have liked it if Peter and Golan had explicitly said something to that effect.

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(edited)

And if it DOES defile the cow, * and **, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU JUST IGNORE IT AND GO ON WITH THE RITUAL?!!!! 

 

After all this care, how does that not RUIN THE RITUAL WHETHER YOU TELL ANYONE OR NOT?????

 

I just want to "reiterate on that", as somebody once said.

 

The rabbi went from being a true believer to being a cynic about the whole elaborate setup, in one swell foop. Likewise the pastor might as well have said about Josh 1, after he went outside and touched grass, eh, what's a little grass! Bring him back inside and nobody'll be the wiser.

 

Either you believe in the magic or you don't. If even the chief perpetrators don't actually believe the purity matters, then what are you left with? Wouldn't it be fun if in the end (next week's preview comically said Season rather than Series finale) the whole setup failed to work because--hey, why isn't it working. Wait a minute, I see faint white stripes hey, this cow isn't pure after all! We have to start all over again!

 

I hope we see more of young "Jumpin' Jehoshaphat" Donaldson. He is a riveting character! I ship him and Emma. Maybe they can breed some more Josh's for next season's try. Ha ha, amusing!

Edited by fauntleroy
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Likewise the pastor might as well have said about Josh 1, after he went outside and touched grass, eh, what's a little grass! Bring him back inside and nobody'll be the wiser.

 

As we used to say when I was young, "Same diff."  Great example, in adult English.

 

If the ritual requires magic lima beans and you substitute pumpkin seeds -- whether you tell anyone or not won't matter.  THE MAGIC KNOWS.

 

Jesus Christ.

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 Obviously Avram is the true pure one. So cute. He and his cow -- maybe Season 2 can be about their adventures.

 

Speaking of a Season 2, I'm deeply disturbed by the idea that next week is the "season" ender. Season? There are more of these coming? Say it isn't so!

 

Season 2: How Avram and His Little Red Cow Restored Order and Saved the Universe.

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Agree with everything stated, especially the criticisms. Yeah, I agree that Avram is really the pure one (as an aside Avram is pure too, isn't he a virgin?). He couldn't nick the cow, because he really couldn't harm her. I find it very interesting that Emma had "fake" red hair and she also turns out to be evil too.  Debbie had real red hair (the actress is a redhead I think) and she was a do-gooder. And Red (the cow) with real red hair and is pure.  I started to suspect that Emma was faking all of it when she wasn't actually helping Peter when he found the secret room, but was sitting back and letting him figure things out on his own. She didn't even seem excited or anything. There was one scene where she was actually sitting down, just observing. Major clue for me right there.  I still wonder, how/why this is his destiny? How do they know?  Why was Peter chosen? I would like to know why his daughter committed suicide. And IF the show runners want to make him a pedeophile, then go there and tell us. Hey, it makes him heinous, but don't just allude to it with Emma. If you are going to be controversial, then stop playing footsy and go there. At this point, I like Lynn's detective work better than Peter's. He really sucked at sneaking up and having a clue how to investigate a case.

 

As an overarching theme, I think that they were trying to show that not everything is as it seems (obvious on that one) and what/who  is "real" is pure (Debbie, Charlie, Peter-maybe, Avram, Josh 1.0, Red, the Essenes, Lynn, Golan) and those that hide and are fake (double lives) are evil (the Ambassador, Josh 2.0, the Pastor, the Rabbi, the Archeologist, Emma, double-crossing female detective). 

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I'm so far behind. I was quite shocked when Emma turned up. But this show is all over the place. 

 

I had to laugh at Anne Heche's react to being punched. I thought she was going to smack Peter. 

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The thing about prophecy, from the religious zealots' viewpoint, is that it is supposed to happen when it does.  Preventing it or encouraging it is an exercise in futility.

 

Well, some would argue that the prophecy are a list of tasks that need to be met for things to happen. The thing is, what they think the prophecy means for them to do is always misinterpreted. 

 

The NM plot is ridiculous. It shouldn't be featured in an episode. 

 

I have never seen Jason Isaacs before (I take it he's the lead guy) and I'm not impressed.  He's fine.  He's not any great shakes to me.

 

He's actually a good actor. I have no idea why he thought this was something to do. 

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(edited)
He's actually a good actor. I have no idea why he thought this was something to do.

It's the age of Prestige TV - plenty of solid movie actors are getting mad acclaim for good tv roles.  This is not one of them.  It's either this or he owes Kring money.  Better be a lot of money.

Edited by henripootel
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I'm glad I'm not the only one -- while watching last night, I realized it was difficult to distinguish between the various swarthy Israeli gay guys, the white bearded elderly rabbinical types, cult handmaidens and little creepy boys. (At least there's only one little creepy boy at this point.)

 

I already knew about the breastplate (1 gem for each of the tribes of Israel, in different colors)  but I can't remember how the "communication with God" was supposed to happen.

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(edited)

 

I already knew about the breastplate (1 gem for each of the tribes of Israel, in different colors)  but I can't remember how the "communication with God" was supposed to happen.

 

It's the original crystal set. You can buy a modern version online ;-)

Edited by Giselle
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(edited)

Well the boy from the Omen/Brazil, the magic crystal set, and our fan favorite character Red are all in the same place, let's wrap this up nice and tight so there isn't an inkling of a second season.

 

Go Red and Avram make it back to Croatia and have a nice life making little red calves and dark haired, dark eyed babies!

Edited by Giselle
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Since we're going into the final, are we finally gonna see someone, I dunno, 'Dig' something?

Also, now that we know Emma is apparently a ninja, what does that imply for her backstory?  Did she really make lots of friends in Jerusalem and sleep with Professor Dirtbag just to leave bread crumbs for Malfoy to find later?  She really played the long con if she did.  I mean I didn't really buy her 'ordinary student hired to dye her hair and vamp a stranger' story before, but now this is just ridiculous.

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Since we're going into the final, are we finally gonna see someone, I dunno, 'Dig' something?

Also, now that we know Emma is apparently a ninja, what does that imply for her backstory?  Did she really make lots of friends in Jerusalem and sleep with Professor Dirtbag just to leave bread crumbs for Malfoy to find later?  She really played the long con if she did.  I mean I didn't really buy her 'ordinary student hired to dye her hair and vamp a stranger' story before, but now this is just ridiculous.

 

Well the writers dug them selves a doosey of a hole to drop this series in. They just need to finish it and shovel dirt over it. I had high hopes for this mini series and it turned into a ridiculous guessable train wreck.

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Since we're going into the final, are we finally gonna see someone, I dunno, 'Dig' something?

I always thought Dig referred to Peter digging to find the truth. But it's been nine episodes and I still have no idea what is going on, so the audience is digging for answers too.

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Looking forward to the finale, even if it sucks.  Hoping for a good ending for Red & Avram and Lynn (I know, surprising). Hoping that Evil Pastor and his female sidekick. Josh 2.0, Ambassador, Archeologist, Evil Rabbi, Peter and Emma all DIAF after they try to use the magical gem studded chest plate. The big wishlist is that they EXPLAIN what (and how she got involved) Emma's part was in this and why Peter was chosen (how do they know that he MUST be involved??), why the daughter committed suicide, how the Ambassador got involved, how they actually got a Joshua. Not sure they can cover all of this in an hour. 

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I think it's supposed to be a play on 'digging for the truth' and 'archeological dig site', which played a central role in the set up.

Oh, I got that, as it was either this or it referred to me 'digging' furrows in my head as I wondered 'what the fuck is going on here?'  I just figured that they were gonna start with somebody uncovering an artifact or something with obviously-supernatural properties, which would raise the hard-to-believe-but-there-it-is stakes into possible actual armageddon.  Like maybe these old cranks are onto something.  Instead all we got was possible sexy-times with a look-alike for Pete's daughter (yuck) in what was almost certainly fetid sewer-runoff (slightly less yuck, and that tells you something).  

 

If they do go with the end-of-the-world plot being real, I'm gonna be biblically pissed because I've seen little to suggest that they've earned their foray into the supernatural.  I was willing to buy this as a story line (I do so love a ridiculous conspiracy hunt) but we've seen little to suggest that these gonifs could organize a trip to the mall, to say nothing of the End of Days.   But if they don't go to 'biblical prophecy' stuff, I want to be there when they explain to the Essenes 'yeah, it was all bs. Sorry for wasting 2000 years of your time.'

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The only thing that would make the finale awesome is if Giorgio Tsoukalos pops out from one of the caves with camera crew in tow and start interviewing the people about their connections to "Ancient Aliens" and the Armageddon Prophecies! 

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Thanks, mjc570, for noting that Red, as a heifer, is female. :-)  (Off topic: I get so irritated when the bovine representatives of dairy companies sound, and are portrayed like males. That's not really the kind of "milk" I want on my cereal.)

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I seriously have no idea what happened on this show tonight. It is like they just wrapped up whatever with the most convenient easy endings. Should have been 2 or 3 episodes, instead they just cram it into 1 hour.  Some of the plot jumps just make no sense. Although, seeing little Red running around at the end was cute. 

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Someone want to 'spain this to me? Why did they need Peter? seems like Lynn's the one to do what they wanted. Couldn't she find a sink for 2 min. to wash her face. Did that guy seriously say 'throw the sledgehammer down!?' Who was Rebecca? I know they said they got Josh 2.0 but what are they going to do with him? they don't know he killed Deb and he's only 13 they're not going to be able to do anything to him.

I am so glad Red is OK.

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Peter was easier for Emma/Rebecca to seduce. I think the crazy guy on the video tape was Rebecca's father, and the guy in the asylum was her brother? Apparently her whole family was coo-coo. The only thing I'm really confused about is why Rebecca just didn't kill the archeologist sooner. Why did everything have to take place? Did she want the temple treasures?

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"What the hell are you talking about, Josh?" made it all worthwhile for me!  :)  My favorite line in the entire series. 

 

Unfortunately, my least favorite line also appeared in this episode:  "I never counted on falling in love with you."  I would have prefered it if Emma were just using him.  :(

 

Kick-ass Lynn, Avram/Red on the farm, finding  out the purpose of Golan Cohen's geologist husband -- all highlights.

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Wait, what the heck happened? This is what happens when you waste all the other episodes on crap and have to rush the last episode.

I kept waiting for something more exciting to happen and then I realized that Peter opening the tunnel was the end of the climax. So stopping Armageddon means knocking open a tunnel? What?!

Ok so it's all over and I still did not get why Peter was important at all. Any random person could've prevented things. The Essene could've! He was already there at the dam trying to find a way.

The whole Emma Wilson thing was a waste of time! What was the point of her getting to know Peter, faking her death/kidnapping, getting close to Peter? Did I miss out on something? If none of that happened, we would still end up with the events of this episode. So Rebecca Donaldson had her own agenda? Why didn't she just kill Margrove earlier when she had all the opportunities to do so? Is she actually in with the whole Armageddon crowd or not? Such confusion!

What a massive letdown. All the teasing about Peter's backstory, his wife, his daughter and there's no payoff at all!

The only thing this series has done right is to establish Avram as pretty much the best character in terms of growth and give us all the ending we want for him and Red. Also glad the Essene lived and then just mysteriously got written out of the story.

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