The Quotes Thread Rises

[DollEyes 10.8k]

  Based on early reviews, one of the best things about Gotham is the dialogue, as shown at the beginning of one of the trailers: "The following preview has been approved by the lawful citizens of Gotham City by the Fox Broadcasting Corporation." If that clever bit is any indication, there's going to be plenty of quote-worthy lines on this show, so I figured that there should be a thread for them, so here it is.

 

[Bill C. 3.6k]

The one line that leaped out at me from the pilot, courtesy of no less than Carmine Falcone: "You can't have organized crime without law and order."

[mtlchick 16.6k]

"There are rules!" (May not apply when you're hanging upside down in a meat locker.)

[Trini 18.0k]

 

"You can't have organized crime without law and order."

...And then I mentally added the "chung-chung" sound effect at the end.

Edited September 23, 2014 by Trini

[FozzyBear 13.2k]

"I want to die like my father, peacefully in my sleep. Not like his screaming passengers." Followed by a great belly laugh from Fish

[Rick Kitchen 13.5k]

"The light will come back."

[darkestboy 1.7k]

"I hate surprises"

 

"Prove it. Prove your loyalty my little Penguin"

 

"Bastards"

 

"Listen to me, there is a war coming. A terrible war. Falcone is losing his grip and his rivals are hungry. There will be chaos. Rivers of blood in the street. I know it! I can see it!"

 

"Does he know you like I know you?"

 

"Sorry"/"if you let this hair go frizzy you will be"

[Sandman 11.1k]

"I want to die like my father, peacefully in my sleep. Not like his screaming passengers."

 

So the Joker's first crime is stealing Steven Wright's old material?

[Rick Kitchen 13.5k]

So the Joker's first crime is stealing Steven Wright's old material?

 

It's my understanding that there will be several characters who might be the Joker, but they haven't revealed which one *will* be the Joker.

[DollEyes 10.8k]

Oswald to Gordon, about the latter's meeting with Fish Mooney: "May I ask why you want to see her?"

Gordon: "No."

[Trini 18.0k]

Bruce: "I'm glad he's still alive. I want to see him again." [...So I can kill him with my rage!]

[Actionmage 4.3k]

Alfred (to Bruce, as they leave the crime scene): "Head up, eyes front. Never let them see you cry."

 

Gordon: "Is Daddy home?"

Ivy(soft): "Y-you don't want to talk to Daddy."

Gordon: "Why is that,Ivy?"

Ivy (whispers): "Because  [looks behind her]he's mean."

 

Fish (to Butch, over the phone): "That son of a bitch just threatened me! Hang him up with his partner."

 

Alfred (hollering): "Oi! Master Bruce! Get your bloody ass off there! How many times have I told ya?"

[DollEyes 10.8k]

 Det. Bullock to Edward Nygma, the Lab Tech: "If I want riddles, I'll read the funny papers."

[Sandman 11.1k]

Not to frizz out anyone's curls, but I don't think the writing on this show on the whole is strikingly clever. I did like Ms. Mooney's little snip at Jim Gordon as "a tall glass of milk," however.

[ElectricBoogaloo 66.4k]

Gordon: You're not a bad guy, just a bad cop.

Fish: If you're referring to the boy I keep around for exercise, he is not my lover.

Bullock: You, my friend, are a monkey riding a racehorse.

Alfred: I told you to stop creeping up on people like that! It's bloody rude!

Edited September 30, 2014 by ElectricBoogaloo

[mtlchick 16.6k]

 

Alfred: I told you to stop creeping up on people like that! It's bloody rude!

 

If that isn't the biggest foreshadowing of his destiny, I don't know what is.

[Trini 18.0k]

Fish: "I swear, Butch, on my sainted mother's grave, someday soon I am going to kill that old man with my bare hands and my teeth!"

[MisterGlass 3.8k]

Oswald Cobblepot: (on a ransom call) "Well that's disappointing.  She didn't believe me.  You must be quite the scamp."

[DollEyes 10.8k]

 

Not to frizz out anyone's curls, but I don't think the writing on this show is strikingly clever.

 

  It's not "perfect," but compared to Manhattan Love Story, it's practically Shakespeare.

[ElectricBoogaloo 66.4k]

"Do you guys not know how a weather balloon works?"

[Sandman 11.1k]

  It's not "perfect," but compared to Manhattan Love Story, it's practically Shakespeare.

 

No argument on that point!

 

Also: Does it make me a bad person if I laughed at the lady walking her dog who said, quite distinctly, "Oy!" when she was flattened by the descending balloon victim?

[DollEyes 10.8k]

From last week's episode, re Gordon's questioning Bullock's tactics with one of the homeless kids who was almost abducted:

 

Gordon: "He's 16!"

Bullock: "He's 6ft. and 220. He can take a punch!"

Edited October 8, 2014 by DollEyes

[ElectricBoogaloo 66.4k]

Oswald: Nobody looks for a dead man.

 

Oswald: As you know, war is just politics by other means. and isn't politics just money talking?

[Actionmage 4.3k]

Fish (to Nico): "I bet your mother was a lousy cook."

 

Harvey Bullock:"What's 'altruism'?"

 

Stan Pultowlski: "I can go anywhere I want."

 

eta:

 

Harvey Bullock: "What'd you expect? It's Gotham."

Edited October 21, 2014 by Actionmage

[Trini 18.0k]

Harvey: "Let the scumbags have at it -- voilá, the end of crime!"

 

Way to have the worst ideas in law enforcement, Harvey!

[ElectricBoogaloo 66.4k]

Dix: He always thinks he's the smartest one in the room.

Gordon: I know.

Bullock: That's because I'm always in a room full of idiots.

[DollEyes 10.8k]

Bruce, to Alfred, about the possibility of being taken away by Child Protective Services: "But who would they take me from?" 

[MarkHB 9.3k]

Sean Pertwee did a marvelous job reacting to that comment, which itself made me want to slap Batman.

 

Nygma: "No, I want you... to keep... your job... here... for... working."

[ratgirlagogo 8.5k]

 

Harvey Bullock:"What's 'altruism'?"

Oh, I loved that.  Also one to file in the Things Harvey Bullock Would Say That Donal Logue Would Never Say folder.

Edited November 3, 2014 by ratgirlagogo

[Trini 18.0k]

Zsasz: "'Alive' is a very broad category."

 

Bullock: "You sit down with a panel of chimpanzees and a bucket of crack and come up with that one?" [Re: Jim's plan]

 

Bullock: "We get a last meal, a smoke or anything, or just talk?"

Way to be snarky in the face of death, Bullock.

Edited November 7, 2014 by Trini

[MisterGlass 3.8k]

Penguin: Why then would they react so ferociously? Why do they want me back so badly?

Maroni:  I know why.  Because they know I've got a stone money maker here.  A golden goose.  They know it, and they don't want us to have him.  Right Penguin?

Penguin: Honk, honk.

Maroni: (beat) What?

Penguin:  Honk, honk.  It's what geese say.

[Trini 18.0k]

Not really a quote, but Bullock pronouncing "plague" as rhyming with "flag".

[MisterGlass 3.8k]

On Bruce's reluctance to go back to school:

 

Alfred: Don't you want to be...like a normal kid?

Bruce: I'm not sure.  Define normal, and make a good case for it.

Alfred: You're going to bloody school.  Now start walking.  (When Bruce is out of earshot) Good luck lad.

 

After Bruce attacks his bully:

 

Bruce: I enjoyed it.  I enjoyed hurting him.

Alfred: Of course you did.  He deserved it.

Bruce: I'm so angry all the time.  Will that ever go away?

Alfred: That, I don't know.

Bruce: Alfred...can you teach me how to fight?

Alfred: Yes, Master Bruce. Yes I can.

[MarkHB 9.3k]

After being caught tossing stolen furs up through a coal chute:

 

Selina: A girl's gotta shop!

[ElectricBoogaloo 66.4k]

Selena: Do you want to kiss me?

Bruce: No thank you.

 

Penguin: You don't understand? Quelle surprise.

 

Dent: Sir, I must protest.

Mayor: But not very much.

Edited November 25, 2014 by ElectricBoogaloo

[DollEyes 10.8k]

Gordon to the Mayor: "Kiss my ass."

[MisterGlass 3.8k]

Alfred: (to Bullock) I'm coming with you.

Bullock: Alright.  You're pretty handy for a valet.

Alfred: Butler, mate.  I'm a butler.

 

Bullock: Come on, Butch, be nice.  This is important.  Where's Fish?

Butch: I told you, she's busy.

Alfred: I once knew a fella, called Butch.  Yeah, he was a Whitechapel lad.  Now we called him Butch, you see, 'cause he wasn't.  It was a wind-up, it was like a joke name.  In fact, he was a horrible little toe rag.

Butch: Wait, I can't tell, are you threatening me?  Is he threatening me? (Alfred approaches) Yeah?

Alfred: (throws Butch down, pulls a knife)  Now where is this Fish?

Fish: Right here.

 

Fish: Why in the world would I help you find her, of all people?

Alfred: She has Bruce Wayne with her, miss.

Fish: Really.

Alfred: Yes miss.  I'm Alfred Pennyworth, I'm the boy's legal guardian.  Very pleased to meet you.

Fish: Likewise.

Alfred: Miss Mooney, we need your help. 

Fish: Well you see Alfred, I would love to help you, but it would infringe upon my personal interests.  And why would I do that?

Alfred: You have a very eloquent ... gaze, if I may say so Miss Mooney.  And I can see that you're not a woman that would let petty self-interest outweigh honor, and compassion.

Fish: I'll make some calls.  But remember this kindness.

[DollEyes 10.8k]

Bumping it up with yet another one of Harvey Bullock's quotes, this time to Oswald: "I like seeing you behind bars. It keeps me calm, like a bonsai tree."

Edited January 10, 2015 by DollEyes

[ElectricBoogaloo 66.4k]

Bullock: Oh fudge.

[Mybrainhurts 192]

Bullock:  I curse you all the time but you never bring me candy.

[DollEyes 10.8k]

Loved Bullock's response to Jim's claim that he's done being "careful" by asking him "You've been careful?" several times.

[ElectricBoogaloo 66.4k]

Gordon: You're up early.

Bullock: I haven't made it to bed yet. Word is you got caught with Doc Thompkins in the locker room.

Gordon: Strictly business.

 

Oswald: Friends don't owe friends, silly. They just do favors because they want to.

 

Selina: What kind of weirdo plays chess with himself? Don't you have a butler to do that kind of stuff with you?

[ratgirlagogo 8.5k]

Lee: "I put on lipstick and you want forensic advice."

[MisterGlass 3.8k]

Harvey: We're on a rooftop, Nygma.  Don't tempt me.

 

Leslie: I put on lipstick.  And you want forensic advice.  You're very confusing.

 

Gordon:  Our ME has been fired for stealing body parts, can you believe that?

Leslie: Only in Gotham.

 

Leslie: Nice segue, Mr. Smooth.

[Jediknight 7.1k]

Gordon: "The same M.E. who said my last witness stabbed himself to death in the back with an icepick?  No, no thanks."

[MisterGlass 3.8k]

Bullock: Office romance.  Always ends in tears.  Tears.

 

Falcone: (of Oswald) He’s clever enough to know that a freakish little man like him is never going to be the boss.

 

Alfred: Hello there Master Bruce. Well you certainly took your time; what, did you stop off for a pie and a pint on the way up, did ya?
Bruce: How long have you been there?
Alfred: Oh, I don’t know, about a…about an hour.  Just when you started climbing up that very nasty hill.
Bruce: Thanks for your help.
Alfred: Yeah, I never got you down there, did I? (Goes toward Bruce) You alright?  Come here. (Lifts Bruce up)
Bruce: I’m cold.  I’m tired.  And my ankle’s sprained.
Alfred: Oh.
Bruce: I just want to go home.
Alfred: You want to go home? Or do you want to wait, and watch the sunrise?  Like you did with your Dad.
Bruce: Well, Alfred. We can only stay if you think you can handle it.
Alfred: If I can handle it, eh?  Mate, this place is positively cushy compared to some of the places I’ve slept out.  Cuppa tea, you cheeky monkey?

 

Oswald Cobblepot: Can I help you?
Edward Nygma: I don’t think so, can you?
Oswald Cobblepot: What do you want?
Edward Nygma: What I want, the poor have, the rich need, and if you eat it you’ll die.
Oswald Cobblepot: Is this…are you asking me a riddle?
Edward Nygma: Do you like riddles?
Oswald Cobblepot: No.
Edward Nygma: So do you give up?
Oswald Cobblepot: Friend, look it -
Edward Nygma: Nothing, the answer is nothing. The poor have it, the rich need it, and if you eat it -
Oswald Cobblepot: Who are you?
Edward Nygma: Edward.  Nygma.  I know who you are.
Oswald Cobblepot: Then you know that you’re standing too close.
Edward Nygma: (steps back) Did you know that male emperor penguins keep their eggs warm by balancing them on their feet?  Isn’t that neat?
Oswald Cobblepot: Nice to meet you sir.  Keep moving.
Edward Nygma: Will do.

Edited February 12, 2015 by MisterGlass

[Actionmage 4.3k]

Edward Nygma: (steps back) Did you know that male emperor penguins keep their eggs warm by balancing them on their feet?  Isn’t that neat?

 

It was the grin on Ed's face that made the whole thing wonderful. Cory Michael Smith is fast catching up to Robin Lord Taylor in the fun-but-creepy sweepstakes. *g*

[shapeshifter 26.3k]

Sometimes you had to be there to appreciate it, like when Lee is trying to convince Jim to go to the park at night to find the weapon of an ax murderer:

Jim: Now? You want to go now?

Lee: It's only half a mile away.

Jim: It's dark.

Lee [giddily enthusiatic]: I have a flashlight.

Edited February 17, 2015 by shapeshifter

[Danielg342 5.5k]

"When you know what a man loves, you know what can kill him."- Oswald Cobblepot, "Penguin's Umbrella" (1.07)

"Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light."- Oswald Cobblepot, "The Scarecrow" (1.16). He's actually quoting Helen Keller here.

[ElectricBoogaloo 66.4k]

Bullock: NO.

Gordon: Harvey, the victim deserves justice.

Bullock: Yeah, and I deserve a supermodel who likes pasty Irish guys and loves to cook. It's not happening.

 

Bullock: Ed, a question. Would you rather work more or less?

Nygma: Is this a riddle?

Bullock: Exactly.

 

Gordon: You coming?

Bullock: Let me say it in Spanish - NO.