Chit-Chat: What's On Your Mind Today?

[Laura Holt]

I had the weirdest experience last night.  We were out driving (my husband likes to check out other people's Halloween lights and displays) anyway through an open window I could see an elderly couple moving around their kitchen and it brought me back in time to visiting my grandparents house.  The kitchen looked like theirs and the couple could have been them right down to the apron on the woman and the suspenders on the man.  If I believed in the paranormal I'd have goosebumps right now.  As it was it was still a bit spooky, like looking into a window of my past.

[kristen111]

5 hours ago, Ancaster said:

 

As far as I'm concerned, people, men or women, who go into marriage without any idea that their future spouse would do anything so gross, disrespectful and potentially humiliating shouldn't be marrying the person in the first place.

Could it be that these grooms drink too much before and during the reception and act wreckless?  Maybe even Brides?

[peacheslatour]

4 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

Could it be that these grooms drink too much before and during the reception and act wreckless?  Maybe even Brides?

That's part of it but men seem like they'll do anything to get the approval of their cohort. Their motto is "bros before hoes." It's sickening.

[kristen111]

30 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

That's part of it but men seem like they'll do anything to get the approval of their cohort. Their motto is "bros before hoes." It's sickening.

I’ve never experienced any disrespect since marriage, but have in the workplace before marriage.  But that was then when men got away with murder.

[peacheslatour]

3 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

I’ve never experienced any disrespect since marriage, but have in the workplace before marriage.  But that was then when men got away with murder.

Oh boy, I never had a job where I wasn't sexually harassed. Not one.

[meep.meep]

Become a boss.  Nobody pulls that crap on me.

[Laura Holt]

1 hour ago, peacheslatour said:

Oh boy, I never had a job where I wasn't sexually harassed. Not one.

One of the big advantages to going into a female dominated profession is that this is far less likely to be an issue.  Of course watching the one guy in the room get promotions when he was no more qualified than any of the women was a constant...

[peacheslatour]

3 minutes ago, meep.meep said:

Become a boss.  Nobody pulls that crap on me.

I actually take that back, I was never harassed when I was managing a flower shop. Although I did have to 86 a customer who put his hands on me on Valentine's Day once. The girls at the deli across the lobby couldn't hand him his change because he would grab their hands. They had to set it on the counter.

[RealHousewife]

One thing that’s crazy is how many men think unless they put their hands on you, it’s not harassment.

[isalicat]

21 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

One thing that’s crazy is how many men think unless they put their hands on you, it’s not harassment.

Being an old (I'm 67...so not very old, only somewhat old 😸 ), I kinda subscribed to that myself back in the day (as in, stick and stones...). If a guy was just blatantly rude and forward in a sexual way, I always either ignored him or had a snappy and hopefully withering comeback, so it just never mattered to me. But NO touching! without consent, ever. That was my line in the sand.

[PRgal]

22 hours ago, Laura Holt said:

One of the big advantages to going into a female dominated profession is that this is far less likely to be an issue.  Of course watching the one guy in the room get promotions when he was no more qualified than any of the women was a constant...

But then you get the Mean Girls.  Can be very bad when your boss is one of them. 

Edited October 21, 2023 by PRgal

[shapeshifter]

3 hours ago, PRgal said:

But then you get the Mean Girls.  Can be very bad when your boss is one of them. 

Whew! I lived with that from 2001-2019. 
Everyone else during that reign of terror (I exaggerate just slightly) either quit or was fired. 
I stuck it out because I was a middle-aged single mom putting my kids through college, but I probably could have made a change like the others did.

Now, when I think of her, I only think of the good moments, and imagine she wishes we had been friends.

[PRgal]

20 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

Whew! I lived with that from 2001-2019. 
Everyone else during that reign of terror (I exaggerate just slightly) either quit or was fired. 
I stuck it out because I was a middle-aged single mom putting my kids through college, but I probably could have made a change like the others did.

Now, when I think of her, I only think of the good moments, and imagine she wishes we had been friends.

I've probably mentioned this before, but I had a Mean Girl boss who fired my supervisor, then me and likely the entire team after me.  She basically hated us but couldn't get rid of us at the same time without looking suspicious.

[shapeshifter]

51 minutes ago, PRgal said:

I've probably mentioned this before, but I had a Mean Girl boss who fired my supervisor, then me and likely the entire team after me.  She basically hated us but couldn't get rid of us at the same time without looking suspicious.

So at least there's no doubt that she had the problem, not you. 

Every now and then I'll think of something I could have done so much better. Of course, a better boss brings out the best in their team. We should keep that in mind.

[RealHousewife]

On 10/18/2023 at 9:16 AM, kristen111 said:

You said nothing wrong.  It’s a SHOW for Pete’s sakes.  We call it as we see it.  

Thank you Kristen. You are such a sweetheart. Thought I already responded to this, but then I noticed my post wasn't there. lol

Anyhow, hope everyone is having a lovely Sunday. 

[Laura Holt]

I got to meet the newest addition to the family last night.  6 weeks old and adorable.  With all the dire things happening in the world right now sitting quietly holding a sleeping infant was definitely a soothing way to spend some time.

[Mindthinkr]

I have had my granddaughter here for the weekend. Kept me very busy, but we’ve also shared a lot of laughs. Especially while listening to music last night while playing cards. I treasure this time. 

[Browncoat]

17 minutes ago, Laura Holt said:

sitting quietly holding a sleeping infant was definitely a soothing way to spend some time.

Maybe if the infant were a puppy...

[oliviabenson]

Adblock sucks lol. It works on this site. Other sites not too happy with. 
 

 

[peacheslatour]

46 minutes ago, Browncoat said:

Maybe if the infant were a puppy...

Or a kitty!

 

 

[kristen111]

17 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

stuck it out because I was a middle-aged single mom putting my kids through college, but I probably could have made a change

WOW .. putting your kids thru college.  Very admirable.  I give you credit.

[Quof]

Perhaps this should be in Pet Peeves.

I'm growing increasingly tired of all the places where I am expected to announce my full name, my phone number, my email and/or my home address regardless of who may be listening.  In my dentist office, with partial walls between patients, the hygienist asked what medication I was taking, and I wrote it out for her rather than announce it.

I've recently been attending appointments in a clinic that handles one specific medical issue. I'm mindful of not looking around to see who is there, because it's none of my business, yet when the clinician comes to the waiting room they call out "Mary Smith?"  Anyone in the waiting room who happens to know of Mary Smith, but perhaps doesn't know what she looks like, will immediately know why she is there.   

Because of the work I do, lots of people know my name but probably not what I look like. At my next appointment, if they call out my name, I'm going to point out to them it's inappropriate and unnecessary to announce my name, and by implication my medical information, in a room full of people. If they don't recognize my face, they can call my first name.   If there happen to be 2 of us there with the same first name, we'll sort it out.  

But my question is this: Long ago, people had "calling cards", with their name and other details that they handed to a receptionist (or even a butler, in the old days).  I've thought of having some made, so I can hand them to a person who asks for my info in public.  But there must be an app that easily displays all of those details, so I can just show them on my phone?  My Card in the contacts on my phone does that, but I was wondering if there is something that was easier to show, with bigger characters? 

[kristen111]

21 hours ago, isalicat said:

Being an old (I'm 67...so not very old, only somewhat old 😸 ), I kinda subscribed to that myself back in the day (as in, stick and stones...). If a guy was just blatantly rude and forward in a sexual way, I always either ignored him or had a snappy and hopefully withering comeback, so it just never mattered to me. But NO touching! without consent, ever. That was my line in the sand.

Some men are crazy.  I was coming home in a crowded subway car holding on to the pole.   The guy standing next to me put his hand through my coat on my who- ha.  Needless to say, I was stunned, and just moved away to the other end of the train.  I didnt want to make a scene, so just moved.  It would have been a big commotion, maybe with an arrest or something.  The creep got away with it.  I was about 20 yrs old at the time.  Still can’t get over it.

[Laura Holt]

1 hour ago, Mindthinkr said:

I have had my granddaughter here for the weekend. Kept me very busy, but we’ve also shared a lot of laughs. Especially while listening to music last night while playing cards. I treasure this time. 

Being a grandparent, at least for me, is so much less stressful than being a parent ever was.  I really need to write down some of the funny things they say and do.  Yesterday my younger grandson insisted on holding my hand as we went down the back stairs - not because he needed help but because he worried that I might fall.  Just how old do they think I am 🤯!!

[kristen111]

31 minutes ago, oliviabenson said:

Adblock sucks lol. It works on this site. Other sites not too happy with. 
 

 

I haven’t been on too much lately, but I’ve noticed my I pad has been better.  I got the Ad blocker and that Duck thing.  Guess both worked a little so far.  The Ad thing was complicated, for me anyhow.  Had to go into settings, etc.  lots of I pad people had lots of trouble too.  Only on his site.

[shapeshifter]

30 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

WOW .. putting your kids thru college.  Very admirable.  I give you credit.

They all got scholarships and the job with the horrible boss paid the lion's share of tuition for the youngest. The youngest and the oldest also worked 3 part time jobs.
So, I give them credit too.

 

13 minutes ago, Laura Holt said:

Yesterday my younger grandson insisted on holding my hand as we went down the back stairs - not because he needed help but because he worried that I might fall.  Just how old do they think I am 🤯!!

Aww, for the first time a week ago my first little grandson held my hand while we walked. I've been hoping for that moment since he was born in January 2022. I'm 70 now. 
Now I'm dreading the moment he doesn't want to hold my hand anymore.

@Laura Holt, is there a chance he had heard his parent worrying about you falling — or maybe saw one of those ads on TV with an older person needing an alert button — and thought it would be a good excuse to hold your hand so he wouldn't have to admit he might still feel more secure holding your hand on the stairs? and/or he just likes holding your hand but thinks he's too big to hold it?

Edited October 22, 2023 by shapeshifter

[peacheslatour]

25 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

Some men are crazy.  I was coming home in a crowded subway car holding on to the pole.   The guy standing next to me put his hand through my coat on my who- ha.  Needless to say, I was stunned, and just moved away to the other end of the train.  I didnt want to make a scene, so just moved.  It would have been a big commotion, maybe with an arrest or something.  The creep got away with it.  I was about 20 yrs old at the time.  Still can’t get over it.

I think we need to teach young women that they should make a scene. Women have been raised to be people pleasers and just suck it up when men victimize them in public areas and they count on that. 

Dear Young Women,

It's okay to yell "get your hands off of me!" People may not jump up to help but the A-hole who is touching you will probably be extremely embarrassed and maybe less likely to try it again.

Love,

The Women Who Have Been There

 

[kristen111]

3 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

I think we need to teach young women that they should make a scene. Women have been raised to be people pleasers and just suck it up when men victimize them in public areas and they count on that. 

Dear Young Women,

It's okay to yell "get your hands off of me!" People may not jump up to help but the A-hole who is touching you will probably be extremely embarrassed and maybe less likely to try it again.

Love,

The Women Who Have Been There

 

Unfortunately, at that moment, I thought of the ramifications .. maybe he had a gun, arrest, police station, etc., all went thru my mind, so just walked away.  Very hard decision in a split second.

[peacheslatour]

4 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

Unfortunately, at that moment, I thought of the ramifications .. maybe he had a gun, arrest, police station, etc., all went thru my mind, so just walked away.  Very hard decision in a split second.

I get it. I tend to freeze. We just have to make it more socially acceptable for women to protect themselves.

[isalicat]

Once upon a time, I was standing at a bus stop in San Francisco (by myself...it was in a neighborhood about mid-morning and no one else happened to be waiting for a bus at that time) and a guy about 18 or so walked by, and then came back and grabbed my right breast, and then walked away. I spun around and at the top of my lungs yelled "What the f..k, f...khead!", and then made as to pursue him. I am all of 4'11" and was then around 100 lbs. but I can be way fierce and he looked quite scared and start to run...HA! There was no one else around but it was pretty satisfying nonetheless.

Another time I was walking to high school on a major L.A. boulevard and a guy (in a raincoat, how cliched) walked towards me and then opened his raincoat to expose his withered little man parts. I don't know what he expected, but I dissolved in laughter, and he quickly closed up the coat and skittered away.

Apologies to any men persons on this forum, but really? What possesses you sometimes? 😸

[shapeshifter]

@isalicat, you are an inspiration!

§.•´¨'°÷•..× ♥ ×,.•´¨'°÷•..§

[oliviabenson]

90% of men seem to be uncivilized horny creeps…

[oliviabenson]

NYC every Saturday for 6-7 weeks 😂

[emma675]

1 hour ago, isalicat said:

Another time I was walking to high school on a major L.A. boulevard and a guy (in a raincoat, how cliched) walked towards me and then opened his raincoat to expose his withered little man parts. I don't know what he expected, but I dissolved in laughter, and he quickly closed up the coat and skittered away.

This reminds me of family trip to Alaska when I was a kid. We had gotten onto a bus for a tour and for some reason a random man on the side of the road decided to unzip his pants and show his sad, little trombone. My 6 year old brother shouted "look, it's a flasher!!" loud enough for the entire bus to hear. One side of the bus, which was mainly older ladies, turned to look, a ton burst into laughter, and this guy turned bright red, scurrying away into the crowd while zipping up his pants. My mom couldn't stop laughing. 

[oliviabenson]

Sad little trambone sent me haha. I didn’t know that’s one of the nicknames for IT. 

[Laura Holt]

 Turned on the furnace for the first time today and I am melting and my husband is thinking he should nudge the temperature up another notch or two. And so it begins...

[athousandclowns]

When I was about 11-12 I was in a what we called a 5 and dime store with a girlfriend.   I was looking at records ( I mentioned I’m old) and this guy came up and stood next to me with his appendage hanging out or in hand I’m not sure as I went into shock.  Although I had two brothers , needless to say I had not seen a trombone .   I quickly found my friend and bolted out.   In the crosswalk she was asking what was wrong so I told her.   He was a one of many siblings of a very well known family in my city ( father was council member).  I don’t think I told my mother. 
Then when I was maybe 48 it was my day off and I was getting a favorite sandwich for a friends birthday and was bringing  it to him at our work.

I had the back door to my SUV down where I was leaning in wrapping his gift.  A painters truck was parked next to me and low and behold I see out the corner of my eye the painter with overhauls down pleasuring himself 2 feet from me.   I still can’t find either time anything but shocking although they were many many years apart. 

[Ancaster]

8 hours ago, isalicat said:

 

Another time I was walking to high school on a major L.A. boulevard and a guy (in a raincoat, how cliched) walked towards me and then opened his raincoat to expose his withered little man parts. I don't know what he expected, but I dissolved in laughter, and he quickly closed up the coat and skittered away.

Apologies to any men persons on this forum, but really? What possesses you sometimes? 😸

Once upon a time I was flashed too - I burst out laughing.  I assume this is not the reaction flashers are hoping for, but what are they hoping for?

[Ancaster]

8 hours ago, oliviabenson said:

90% of men seem to be uncivilized horny creeps…

Ouch.

[Ancaster]

I can't be the only person who is not surprised to hear that hair relaxants have been found to be carcinogenic and that law suits are starting.  Didn't people wonder what might be in a product that can make curly hair straight?  Like formaldehyde?  And that maybe it's not a good idea to be introducing that and other unpronounceable chemicals into your body via your scalp or your hands or fumes?  Think of the people who work in hair salons in constant contact with this stuff.   How were these products even allowed to be sold in the first place and why haven't people questioned something that causes such a drastic (unnatural) change that they're handling and exposing themselves to?

Edited October 28, 2023 by Ancaster
Unpronounceable not pronounceable

[Ancaster]

12 hours ago, Quof said:

Perhaps this should be in Pet Peeves.

I'm growing increasingly tired of all the places where I am expected to announce my full name, my phone number, my email and/or my home address regardless of who may be listening.  In my dentist office, with partial walls between patients, the hygienist asked what medication I was taking, and I wrote it out for her rather than announce it.

I've recently been attending appointments in a clinic that handles one specific medical issue. I'm mindful of not looking around to see who is there, because it's none of my business, yet when the clinician comes to the waiting room they call out "Mary Smith?"  Anyone in the waiting room who happens to know of Mary Smith, but perhaps doesn't know what she looks like, will immediately know why she is there.   

Because of the work I do, lots of people know my name but probably not what I look like. At my next appointment, if they call out my name, I'm going to point out to them it's inappropriate and unnecessary to announce my name, and by implication my medical information, in a room full of people. If they don't recognize my face, they can call my first name.   If there happen to be 2 of us there with the same first name, we'll sort it out.  

But my question is this: Long ago, people had "calling cards", with their name and other details that they handed to a receptionist (or even a butler, in the old days).  I've thought of having some made, so I can hand them to a person who asks for my info in public.  But there must be an app that easily displays all of those details, so I can just show them on my phone?  My Card in the contacts on my phone does that, but I was wondering if there is something that was easier to show, with bigger characters? 

I was filling out forms at my new apartment this morning and the leasing agent asked me for my password so she could log onto my account!

I'm not bothered by having my full name called out, but then I'm not famous/known.  Rather than have it happen again, you might want to be proactive and call the office manager in advance and ask them to reconsider their practice of calling out first name last name; I assume they'd be open to accommodating your request to go to first name only.

When I know I'm going to have to give out personal details like full name, DOB, etc, I usually have my driving license ready to hand over. It's easier than having to spell everything out and means if anyone else is around they don't hear your personal details.

 

[shapeshifter]

2 hours ago, Ancaster said:

was filling out forms at my new apartment this morning and the leasing agent asked me for my password so she could log onto my account!

Nope.
Nope!
Nope!

Please tell us you did not give the leasing agent your bank account password or PIN!😧
If you did (because good housing is hard to find) change it immediately if you have not already done so!

That was at best a stupid question. 
Even if the leasing agent is not in the business of identity theft and/or robbing clients’ bank accounts, if you did get hacked by someone else, the leasing agent would get a hard look from any law enforcement or fraud agents looking into the crime.

❤️🧸

[EtheltoTillie]

16 hours ago, kristen111 said:

I haven’t been on too much lately, but I’ve noticed my I pad has been better.  I got the Ad blocker and that Duck thing.  Guess both worked a little so far.  The Ad thing was complicated, for me anyhow.  Had to go into settings, etc.  lots of I pad people had lots of trouble too.  Only on his site.

I put the duck duck go app on the iPad. I am using it now and no ads. I’m only using it for primetimer, as that’s the only site that gives me trouble. 

[Ancaster]

28 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

Nope.
Nope!
Nope!

Please tell us you did not give the leasing agent your bank account password or PIN!😧
If you did (because good housing is hard to find) change it immediately if you have not already done so!

That was at best a stupid question. 
Even if the leasing agent is not in the business of identity theft and/or robbing clients’ bank accounts, if you did get hacked by someone else, the leasing agent would get a hard look from any law enforcement or fraud agents looking into the crime.

❤️🧸

No of course I would never do such a thing!  As it happens, she was just asking for the password to my tenant account, which she could probably access anyway, but of course I didn't give it to her.  I gave her a look and conspicuously turned the laptop we were using so she couldn't see the keyboard.

Later on I got a survey from the management company asking about my experience with the move and it very specifically said the results and comments would be shared with the members of staff.  I naturally shared my password experience, and also included the fact that the woman was 15 minutes late meeting me and totally unprepared for what should have been a very straightforward interaction.

Nice place though, and I'm excited to be moving in!

[Mindthinkr]

5 hours ago, Ancaster said:

I usually have my driving license ready to hand over.

I do the same. My local Walgreens (even with license in hand) still asks me to verify my name, phone number or DOB. 😡 I also have become wary of stating my personal information in a place where a listener could use my information for nefarious purposes. Actually I don’t think it’s safe anywhere. 

[annzeepark914]

12 hours ago, Laura Holt said:

 Turned on the furnace for the first time today and I am melting and my husband is thinking he should nudge the temperature up another notch or two. And so it begins...

At chez park914, each spring begins the "air conditioning wars" as I call them. I must have my AC. We finally settled on 74° (when he tries to sneak it up to 75° it triggers a hot flash & I put it back on 74°!!) Autumn isn't so bad as I can dress for the chill (which I like, wearing my beloved leggings 🎉). 

[oliviabenson]

7 hours ago, Ancaster said:

Once upon a time I was flashed too - I burst out laughing.  I assume this is not the reaction flashers are hoping for, but what are they hoping for?

I think they want to gross women out or hoping a woman goes

omg let’s go behind the dumpster to get busy.

I never seen such a big tombone and let me blow it.

Men are disgusting.

[shapeshifter]

8 hours ago, Ancaster said:

Once upon a time I was flashed too - I burst out laughing.  I assume this is not the reaction flashers are hoping for, but what are they hoping for?

49 minutes ago, oliviabenson said:

I think they want to gross women out or hoping a woman goes
omg let’s go behind the dumpster to get busy.I never seen such a big tombone and let me blow it.
Men are disgusting.

While I would be willing to believe that most men have disgusting thoughts, I don't think anyone can know the percentage of time the majority of men think disgusting thoughts, and I don't think most of them act on them. 

Some just recognize acting on disgusting thoughts could have negative consequences they'd prefer to avoid. 

Some have been reared by mothers like my father's mother who told me that she had tried to teach her children "right from wrong." 
Sons successfully raised to at least know there are moral rights and wrongs with regards to respecting all people are just as offended by their own disgusting thoughts as women would be offended (or alarmed or take legal action against) men acted on disgusting thoughts.

Background info: I have had experiences similar to those described above regarding inappropriate touching/assault, indecent exposure, and worse.

Edited October 23, 2023 by shapeshifter

[kristen111]

11 hours ago, EtheltoTillie said:

I put the duck duck go app on the iPad. I am using it now and no ads. I’m only using it for primetimer, as that’s the only site that gives me trouble. 

It’s very weird not seeing those annoying pop ups all over the screen .. right?  Love it.   We should have done it long ago.

Edited October 23, 2023 by kristen111

[EtheltoTillie]

1 hour ago, kristen111 said:

It’s very weird not seeing those annoying pop ups all over the screen .. right?  Love it.   We should have done it long ago.

Yes, I'm very pleased with it.  I didn't realize till now that it was a separate Apple app.  It's very easy to install.