Towanda: Original Secret Squirrel

[Meredith Quill]

Your Towanda Topic!

[SistaLadybug]

Towanda was ridiculous on last night's episode.  While I can believe her (and Trina, and actually, all of the other sisters) that Tamar has changed a lot since their days as children in Maryland, that was neither the time nor the place for Towanda to speak up.  They were at Tamar's birthday party and people were saying lovely things about her.  It was Tamar's moment and should have been left that way.  I do think that man was being snarky (and might have been put up to it by Tamar), but way to make yourself look bad by arguing with him, Towanda.  She should have smiled pleasantly, toasted her sister and shut it on up.  You can talk about it later if you must but you don't do it at that time. 

 

And her display at the restaurant, shoving and breaking plates and glasses, screaming and acting the fool, was beyond. 

[luckyroll3]

It must be drama and emotional week in her acting class.

[SnarkKitty]

" ... and the Oscar goes to ... "

[politichick]

I think she is consumed by jealousy because Tamar has it all: loving husband, a nice baby boy and mucho bucks.

[SusannahTaylor3]

I think there's much more to it than that but may have something to do with it. I think we just haven't been privy to what is really going on there. This feud between Towanda and Tamar has been going on since the beginning of last season. I really felt sorry for Trina. She really seemed to be genuinely upset about what is happening. The party comment from Tamar's friend I think is a catalyst and not really the issue. It was silly to fight over and I kept shaking my head wondering why it was such a big deal. I was also annoyed that Towanda made issue of it at Tamar's birthday party. I think Towanda likes stirring up trouble and Tamar reacts because Towanda pushes her buttons and Tamar reacts to it every time.

I'm always amazed that there is no jealousy for Toni. She's the most successful of them all.

[mistyknight]

I think the sisters are used to Toni being the famous one. That resentment for Toni's triumphs probably simmered down once they gained their own identities thanks to the show.

I do believe Towanda is jealous. She has had the least success out of all of them. I mean, she was Toni's assistant for years and then she was living with her younger sister in one season while her husband didn't bring in any money to get them out of the predicament they were in.

I feel like much of the feud is caused due to the fact that she hates feeling left out of the success her sisters' have achieved and that she hates Tamar the most. It is hard to contain resentment when you see someone you dislike getting handed everything you ever wanted.

I will say this, when she was shaking the table (TM, K Michelle) and being OTT, I wish production would have had violins playing in the background to her shout of "no one cares".

[SistaLadybug]

Being the oldest of 8 (with my bio, step and adopted siblings all counted), I know all about sibling disputes.  I actually feel for the ladies.  Whatever is going on between them has been exacerbated by Tamar's fame, I'm sure, but it didn't start there.  There is some stuff that probably dates back to when they were children, just like there is between Tracy and Tamar.  It can't be a coincidence that everyone's biggest beef is with Tamar.

[juneboy44]

I think the frustration that Towanda is feeling is that every other sister has something going on except her. Toni is on Broadway and doing music; Tamar is doing music and has her own show and talk show; Traci is on another reality show and is doing that radio show; and Trina is recording an album. Towanda doesn't have anything, at least from what has been shown, going on which can make her feel worthless. I do agree however that her reaction at Tamar's party was not necessary.

[Easyspreestep]

If Towanda does not want people to think she is jealous then she needs to state exactly what Tamar has done to offend her or exactly how Tamar has changed towards her.  This vague she has changed and she knows what she did is not cutting it.  I mean she is mad at Tamar for something nice the friend said about Tamar and for something a Tamar fan said about her family.   

[SistaLadybug]

I feel for Towanda when it comes to what one of the "Tamartians" said about her children.  I wonder if Tamar called it out and condemned it.  These folks idolize her, or their image of her.  They are her fans.  While she isn't necessarily responsible for what they say/do, she should make it quite clear to them that her family is off limits.  Of course, I don't know that she didn't, but from the sound of what Towanda and Trina were saying, Tamar let it go and didn't reprimand the "Tamartian" for what was said.

[JBC344]

What it seemed like to me is that Tamar was trying to make the point that the person who was going after Towanda wasn't really a fan of hers.  She seemed to say that her fans know that her and her sisters will fight but nothing will "break" them.

 

We all know that anyone who would stoop that low on social media is a troll to say the least so I wouldn't necessarily be so quick to believe them if they said that they were a "Tamartian".  I think that is the point Tamar was trying to make. 

 

As annoying as hurtful comments are I honestly can't believe that 40 year old Tawanda would even give something like that a second thought instead of chalking it up to an idiot on Twitter and paying it no mind.  It seemed to me like she was using that situation as an excuse to take a swipe at Tamar. 

 

As far as the party, the guy may or may not have been referring to the other sisters in regards to Tamar changing but because they didn't know for sure Trina was out of line for coughing, and Tawanda was way out of line for challenging the guy.  I didn't even understand her point about the guy not knowing them, and "who is he".  He is Tamar's friend, he doesn't need to know you, he was speaking about his relationship with Tamar.

[anonymiss]

OMG This bitch. "No one ever cares about [her]" because she doesn't make herself worth caring about! That's on HER.

 

Even Traci made herself go from "the wannabe" to a bonafide interesting character, improving herself and going after her goals.

[jhlipton]

As far as the party, the guy may or may not have been referring to the other sisters in regards to Tamar changing but because they didn't know for sure Trina was out of line for coughing, and Tawanda was way out of line for challenging the guy.  I didn't even understand her point about the guy not knowing them, and "who is he".  He is Tamar's friend, he doesn't need to know you, he was speaking about his relationship with Tamar.

 

That's what I heard.  Others let fame and money go to their head "But you haven't changed".  That's what I heard him say -- nothing about the other sisters.

 

It's little wonder Tamar feels picked on -- she can't even enjoy her own birthday party.

[Spiderella2]

Towanda is so jealous of Tamar. Wow. She's not even green with envy anymore, she's like the green of swamp infestation. I have 4 other sisters and we are all accomplished in our own domains. But even when I was the one with my life in shambles when everyone had theirs together, I was still extremely proud of them. And their success gave me the motivation I needed to improve my life. She is the berating her sister Tamar for not being supportive, when she is the one who is not supportive. You can physically be present but emotionally be very discouraging, bitter, and evil.

I have still yet to see any instance where Tamar has done something that would cause Towanda to be so shitty. From last season, the things she kept using as examples were not even legit things. For her to take them to heart and to become so evil towards her own blood sister shows that she really has no life. Tamar had already apologized for anything she did, but here we are six months later, and Towanda is still acting crazy. Tamar needs to step back and cut the negative Towanda out of her life for a while.

But Towanda just keeps seething with jealousy. All the stuff she brings up is social media drama. Does she just cyber stalk her siblings all day long? Instead of pursuing her own interests, her own dreams, and her own ambitions, she just sits on social media reading Tamar's posts? She really needs to get a life. Who cares what a random person says on Twitter? How is that Tamar's fault? Can't even cut down the shade on the girls birthday. Even when she tried to say something nice, it ended up being still very weird.

If I was Tamar I would walk away too. Staying in that situation just to sit there arguing and being aggravated is unnecessary. Good thing she left or Towanda would have probably cut her with a glass.

And breaking the glasses? Almost flipping the table? She needs therapy. Crazy pants.

[WimminWinning]

A couple days ago, I found some episodes of season 2 of Starting Over from 2003 where Towanda was a cast member. It's an old reality show about women living in a house together for a couple months while they each work on a goal. Iyanla Vanzant is one of the life coaches (sigh).

 

Anyway, Towanda has been this way for quite some time and it has nothing to do with Tamar. In the house, Towanda found a "Tamar" to pick on and project her issues on. This poor girl is named Sommer and she had an affair with a married man. But since Towanda felt some type of way about homewrecking women due to her hurt over her father's infidelity and her father's divorce, Towanda decided to mercilessly pick on Sommer and...wait for it...get the other women in the house into a clique to join her in hating Sommer. Every little thing Sommer did was blown way out of proportion by this clique despite Sommer constantly trying to extend olive branches and open lines of communication. Sound familiar?

 

Why does Towanda always need someone to project her shit onto?

 

BTW: Towanda is exactly in the same place in life now as she was in 2003. She even disliked and couldn't trust Andre back then and they were newlyweds. In fact, the episode I saw had a storyline of Andre threatening divorce over the phone - so their marriage was in shambles even then. The only difference in Towanda's life in these 11 years is that she's given birth. No change in attitude, stability, solid career, quality of marriage, personal growth...nothing.

 

ETA: Another interesting point revealed on Starting Over about Towanda's resentment toward Tamar - Towanda's been harboring anger because Tamar signed a solo contract in 1998 when The Braxtons (the trio of Trina, Towanda, and Tamar) 1996 record didn't go anywhere and supposedly Towanda was working on getting another deal for the group at the time. I'm sure that Tamar threatening to leave the sisters to do her spin-off  instead of the family project brought back old 1998 anger for Towanda - anger that Towanda probably never resolved. The trio broke up because the best singer in the group left and, honestly, BFV would likely be cancelled if Tamar leaves given that she is the life of the show. No wonder Towanda's always pissed - her career has always depended on the baby sister that she doesn't respect.

Edited September 10, 2014 by WimminWinning

[Watermelon]

I wonder sometimes does it bother Towanda that Tamar is the reason for any bit of fame she has.  Yeah, nobody cares about the Braxtons if not for Toni, but the show was Tamar's idea and Tamar was the one who essentially forced Toni to do the show.  Without this show Towanda would still be just Toni's assisstant and background singer.  

[RedKoolAide]

I think that's Towanda's biggest gripe but she won't admit it. She has done nothing with her life. She's married and has two beautiful kids. That'd be fine if that's what she was happy with but she isn't happy in her situation. I think Towanda is hungry for fame but she doesn't have the star quality. She could've done more with her life professionally if she had applied herself. I know showbiz is a fickle business, but Towanda strikes me as someone who expects fame to be handed to her. Life doesn't work that way. You have to work for what you want.

Edited September 11, 2014 by RedKoolAide

[Watermelon]

When you think about it, it's crazy that she's the one who tries to claim "actress".  I know Trina used to do stage plays and there was a quick spot on Soul Man Trina and Tamar did.  How has she booked nothing?!

 

Were I her, I would have sucked up to Kandi to be a part of her stage play. At least something that fits the made up title she gave herself.

 

 

ETA: I tell ya, these girls kill me with the things they hold on to. First Traci's mad at the girls(but somehow mostly Tamar) because the record company wouldn't sign her, and now above I read Towanda was mad at Tamar for signing a solo contract....LIKE ANY OF THESE VENTURES SUCCEEDED!  I could understand if Traci was kicked out of a group that ended up being TLC/Destiny's Child/En Vogue level but they didn't.  The trio really just set them up with the skills to be doo w** pop pop chicks, which Traci could have done after she gave birth to her son.

 

Towanda, yeah Tamar had that 1 solo CD, but she wasn't even a one hit wonder.  These girls just stay bitter for no reason. Even if she was mad, it's not like these decisions worked out for anybody.

Edited September 11, 2014 by Watermelon