S06.E16: Family Meeting

[Janie430]

On 5/12/2022 at 2:54 PM, Maximona said:

I seem to recall that Randall was affected by debilitating anxiety attacks the first couple of seasons, no?  It was a definite plot point.

Yes, but that's actually part of my issue with the story.  Randall entered the scene as a Type A, overly intense, make all the decisions type who had it all - the great wife, the great family, the great career, the perfect son.  At the time, the fly in the ointment was the panic attacks, and his biggest issue seems to be his need to be needed. 

At the end of season 1, it seems he's stepping back from the need to be perfect all the time, the need to be in control all the time but then - he buys a building when he's not working, which leads to him becoming a city councilman, which leads to him becoming a Senator.  He's still got Beth (who forgives more than anyone not a deity should) and he's added to the family with Dacia, but more importantly, he still sees himself the way he did at the beginning of the series - the perfect son, the great patriarch, the man in charge.  His anxiety issues ended up being about the adoption, which in part became about transracial adoption, but which is still all about him.  The closest we came to seeing him really get and internalize that he cannot and should not be in control of everything was with the kids (Beth wanted to adopt an older child, Tess is gay, Dacia ran off with Malik) and I guess I would have liked it to seen it sink in better in later seasons. 

I guess I never felt like Randall really lost something that mattered to him because of his own choices, and since the writers wrote Kevin and Kate losing majorly because of their own self-destructiveness/issues, I wanted the same for Randall, so that he would parallel their growth.  I don't feel like Randall is any wiser or different fundamentally as a person than the character was in season one, whereas my take on all the other characters is that they have transformed since then.

  

[Aloeonatable]

On 5/15/2022 at 9:13 AM, izabella said:

She should have chosen Beth, the only person in that family that can see beyond the end of her own nose.

OMG, just no. No matter how all-together Beth is, can you imagine how Kate and Kevin, and even Randall, would have reacted had Rebecca named Beth. Anyway, what decision would Beth have made that would have been different than what eventually was decided? She discouraged Randall from taking his Mom into their house. Would she have Rebecca go to a care facility? Against Rebecca's original wishes? The Big Three may have their issues, but they are Rebecca's children and thus should have the final say in how she is cared for, not an in-law. 

[mansonlamps]

24 minutes ago, Aloeonatable said:

OMG, just no. No matter how all-together Beth is, can you imagine how Kate and Kevin, and even Randall, would have reacted had Rebecca named Beth. Anyway, what decision would Beth have made that would have been different than what eventually was decided? She discouraged Randall from taking his Mom into their house. Would she have Rebecca go to a care facility? Against Rebecca's original wishes? The Big Three may have their issues, but they are Rebecca's children and thus should have the final say in how she is cared for, not an in-law. 

Haha I thought exactly the same when I read that, no way do you pick a daughter in law over a child unless your children are complete incompetents.

[Johnny Dollar]

Kate is such a late bloomer that she won’t reach her full potential until she’s pushing up daisies. 

[Ducky]

On 5/13/2022 at 9:32 AM, donovan said:

 

Sometimes you have to say these things to yourself to get through the moment.

In the 17 years from diagnosis to death with my dad, I had a few of those moments.

My Dad would never have tried to kick his own dog (an actual full force kick to the ribs) who was just walking up to him to get petted.  The thought would have horrified him.  He was Dr. Doolittle and loved/protected all animals.

My Dad wouldn't have tried to punch me in the face because the water got in his eyes while trying to shower him.  Thankfully I closed the sliding glass door just in time to avoid it from happening.  I can replay that moment in time perfectly from seeing the look in his eyes to the raising of his fist coming at me to the sound of his fist hitting the door. 

This person was certainly not my father.

 

 

 

On 5/13/2022 at 10:05 AM, mostlylurking said:

......

I think this disease presents differently in everyone. My grandmother was very much like Rebecca. Very docile, quiet. Sometimes there would be anger or fear, but most of the time she was just very confused and just kind of sat there until someone engaged with her. She was very sweet most of the time, which was just so sad.

...

Plus one- for Rebecca's situation being a lot like my late grandmother's.  She was fairly quiet, 'vacant' if you will.  There were periods of fear & lucidity in what was happening to her- she was aware at times and it broke my heart when she did show that fear. After a major seizure- one thing that happened was that she stopped smoking because well she forgot she did- that's after a 70some year habit along with a faster decline in her mental/physical state. There's more but that's the gist of it.  It's like what many have said already- dementia & Alzheimer's manifests in many different ways for everyone.

   At least one of her 2 children has said that line "That isn't my mother" to me; the same person may still be 'there' but the essence and personality was not the same as before the disease took hold and progressed.  So to me that's a believable line coming from Randall and Kevin.

[bros402]

On 5/15/2022 at 10:42 PM, amarante said:

I just assumed the curriculum position was a nothing type of honorary position with a bunch of "advisors".

I would assume there are a limited number of music teachers who specialize in teaching "arts" to the blind and/or deaf so she was added to the group because she is somewhat of a unicorn.

But I am cynical that way in terms of "committees"

teacher of the blind/visually impaired is a special certificate (at least in NJ) that you just have to take a few extra classes to get. I imagine there are at least a few music/special ed teachers with the blind cert (I mean a decent amount of people don't do a music/art content area because schools are canning them left and right)

[gonzosgirrl]

On 5/15/2022 at 10:33 PM, Tabbygirl521 said:

My whole reaction was, “ Miguel would have cleaned up Kevin and let Rebecca’s sleep.”

2020 Miguel probably would have, but 1980 Miguel would probably have done the same thing Jack did. Probably most other men of his era, too. I know there were exceptions but it was still a pretty prevalent mindset at that time.

[Ohiopirate02]

10 minutes ago, gonzosgirrl said:

2020 Miguel probably would have, but 1980 Miguel would probably have done the same thing Jack did. Probably most other men of his era, too. I know there were exceptions but it was still a pretty prevalent mindset at that time.

My dad would have done a bit more than Jack, but mom still would have gotten involved.  He had no problem bathing (or rotating us in the shower at 3am to get the poop off) nor with cleaning up our bodily fluids. But, cloth diapers were a step too far.  He would have woken up mom with a clean kid and a fresh diaper while he cleaned up the crib.  Which is really what Jack should have done in that situation.  Present Rebecca with a clean Kevin and clean clothes while he cleaned up the crib.

Now, how well my dad cleaned up the crib, and the bathroom, and where he put the dirty clothes would all have to wait to be discovered once the sun rose.  

[KaveDweller]

On 5/14/2022 at 9:44 PM, Ohmo said:

And, as has been mentioned upthread, I do not buy that Kate would be on a STATE curriculum committee.  Most teachers who spend a couple years in the classroom get their Master's Degrees.  I have mine.  Most teachers get an M.A or an M.Ed because there's a pay bump involved in most teacher contract scales.  However, when I was teaching, there is NO WAY that I would have been chosen for a state committee for anything.  Those committees are for teachers with serious teaching experience, and even if we're giving Kate 10 years experience, I still don't buy it.

And Rootbeer, we must have a serious conversation.  Every time I like one of your posts, I then want root beer. :)

I can buy Kate being part of a committee for the state curriculum because she has been working at a school for the blind. A big thing in education now is accessibility, and so I can see the state wanting to have a representative with experience working with blind kids. Maybe they even reached out to Kate's school asking for a recommendation and that is how Kate got the job.

It also seems likely the writers don't know much about how curriculum gets written and just thought it sounded like a good way to show Kate was successful.

[RedbirdNelly]

On 5/14/2022 at 7:12 AM, sashabear21 said:

I remember first seeing Justin Hartley on Passions because his character was named Fox, and that was hilarious!  And also does no one remember Clooney's work as Sela Ward's cop husband on that show "Sisters" in the early 90's? 

Falcner's death on Sisters gutted me. Clooney and Ward had such great chemistry

[Jersey409]

Late to the chat here- just catching up now on episodes. Can’t believe this show will be over soon. Sad episode- I’d imagine even sadder for those who have parents with Alzheimer’s in real life. However I will say Rebecca got a lot of years out of her illness and doesn’t seem to be in pain. My mom is 56 with terminal cancer and in chronic pain.

 

on a lighter note, I’ve got one baby and would be happy to look half as good as Rebecca when she was raising those triplet babies. Shiny full and wavy hair, glossy lips and fluttery lashes- count me in.

 

this show makes divorce look like a picnic and the new term co-parenting being thrown around like nothing. Everyone so happy all together.  Can’t help but wonder if it’s propaganda encouraging couples make kids then split.  Not saying two people should live in misery and be unhappy but not something to be taken lightly. Kate and Phillips marriage just doesn’t sit right-seems fake. Miss Toby - but hope he’s happier with Laura and her family!