S05.E14: A Free Scratcher and Feminine Wiles

[SusanM]

16 minutes ago, ChitChat said:

  She needs to focus some of that attention over to her husband, and George needs to communicate better.

For the most part the last few years they've tended to make Mary the bad guy whenever they focus on her and George - even with his almost affair they still made it all about poor woe is my life George - I did feel an episode from last season handled this a little better.  The one where George was going away on a trip and very deliberately tried to exclude Mary even though other men going on the trip were bringing their wives.  Mary seemed genuinely excited at the idea of going away with George for a few days and George was written as being downright mean about it.  I thought this was a good episode because, for once, they did show Mary trying to connect with George and him being the one to rebuff her.  

The show needs to be better about this if they really are going to go down the road of the marriage breaking down.  Stop  making George the sad sack whose wife doesn't understand him (oh please) and stop making Mary such an uptight prude.  Make them both at fault but in the end make it clear George is the one making his own choices and if those are bad choices if needs to own them.

[MollyMelrose]

The way Dr. Lee handled Sheldon and "the boys" reminds me of how BBT Mary dealt with Sheldon.

YS Mary isn't there yet. 

And Klingon - the language of love. :)

[Chit Chat]

25 minutes ago, SusannahM said:

Stop  making George the sad sack whose wife doesn't understand him (oh please) and stop making Mary such an uptight prude.  Make them both at fault but in the end make it clear George is the one making his own choices and if those are bad choices if needs to own them.

I agree.  In the breakdown of most marriages, each person is responsible in their own way.  It could be a 50/50 thing, or a 70/30 thing, but they each need to own what their particular responsibility is for the breakdown.

On a lighter note, I noticed that Dr. Lee is an Experimental Physicist, just like Leonard from TBBT.  Maybe that's one reason Sheldon finds that particular branch of physics beneath him later in life, seeing as how she got the best of him with rigging her computer.  As we say, that'll show him!!

 

[Sarah 103]

6 hours ago, ChitChat said:

One thing to consider with Mary is that since she's become a mom, her priorities have shifted.  She takes care of most things within the household (not saying that George doesn't contribute), but she's always making comments like "I have to do this, and I have to do that.....", and as a wife and mom myself, I understand what she's saying.  Seems like we run circles around our husbands on a daily basis.  There are so many "behind the scenes" things that have to get done that most times they're not even aware of it all! 

Having said that though, I wish Mary would loosen up with George.  It doesn't mean that she has to revert to her wild days, but rather to spend some alone time together.  Things may have been different if she didn't have a kid like Sheldon to deal with.  She needs to focus some of that attention over to her husband, and George needs to communicate better.  They both have stuff they could work on within the marriage.  

A regular date night or time alone together would be fantastic for the couple. Send the kids to Mee-Maw's for the night. Mary and George wouldn't have to spend a ton of money to make it happen. Rent a movie. Go out to dinner. Spending a few hours together and being able to actually talk to each other would be a huge help. The problem is George doesn't want to talk about what is happening. 

[Quark]

Ming Na Wen!

That is all.

[Neiman]

Any other student at that university would’ve been expelled.

I’m tiring of Missy these days. And Mary. As much as I dislike the spats between Mary and George, I wish he would’ve gone ahead and said something to her about seeing her smoking with the youth pastor. That way we could deal with it and put it behind us instead of letting it linger even longer.

[ButterQueen]

Mary just makes me tired with her self-righteous self.

I need more Annie Potts.

[Chit Chat]

I'm not trying to place all of the blame of the marital issues on Mary, but one thing that hasn't helped is how much attention she pays to Sheldon, almost to the exclusion of the rest of the family.   Unfortunately, Sheldon is Sheldon, and he has been a challenge for the whole family.  I can sympathize with Mary in wanting to protect him, but I also agree with George in that she needs to step back sometimes and let him learn some life lessons on his own.   It's a complicated situation!

[DoYouLikeMutton]

13 hours ago, Neiman said:

As much as I dislike the spats between Mary and George, I wish he would’ve gone ahead and said something to her about seeing her smoking with the youth pastor. That way we could deal with it and put it behind us instead of letting it linger even longer.

I was relieved when they circled back to Mary smoking with the youth pastor, that George had a calm, mature attitude about it.  I was afraid George would act on it by having a fling with Brenda. That's a scenario I would never want to see unfold.

[SusanM]

56 minutes ago, ChitChat said:

I can sympathize with Mary in wanting to protect him, but I also agree with George in that she needs to step back sometimes and let him learn some life lessons on his own.   It's a complicated situation!

The problem with Sheldon in most of the recent scenarios is that he's still a little kid but he is in a very adult situation.  I cannot even begin to imagine what I'd do if I had a 12 (13?) year old in college.  I worried enough about my kids when they were in college at college age!

[possibilities]

I really did like that George had enough perspective to notice that Mary was fun with other people, but not with him. I just wish he'd taken that observation to her, in a way that attempted to resolve it, instead of taking it to the bar to ponder divorcing her. It's like he doesn't even consider that he might be part of the problem, and wonder why she's not fun with him. 

[Sarah 103]

4 hours ago, ChitChat said:

I'm not trying to place all of the blame of the marital issues on Mary, but one thing that hasn't helped is how much attention she pays to Sheldon, almost to the exclusion of the rest of the family.   Unfortunately, Sheldon is Sheldon, and he has been a challenge for the whole family.  I can sympathize with Mary in wanting to protect him, but I also agree with George in that she needs to step back sometimes and let him learn some life lessons on his own.   It's a complicated situation!

The way I see it is that George wants to help Sheldon learn how to live and function in the world (which includes making mistakes), while Mary wants to protect Sheldon and expects the world to cater to him because he's her special little boy. 

[Chit Chat]

3 hours ago, Sarah 103 said:

The way I see it is that George wants to help Sheldon learn how to live and function in the world (which includes making mistakes), while Mary wants to protect Sheldon and expects the world to cater to him because he's her special little boy. 

I didn't realize just how much Mary doted on him/babied him until this show came along!  Missy and Georgie could've used more attention themselves.  

[vibeology]

19 hours ago, Sarah 103 said:

The way I see it is that George wants to help Sheldon learn how to live and function in the world (which includes making mistakes), while Mary wants to protect Sheldon and expects the world to cater to him because he's her special little boy. 

I think that's part of it for sure, but I also think George sometimes fails to properly judge the risks Sheldon is in because he's more disconnected from the family. Sheldon is a 12 year old on a college campus that is at least an hour away from their house without a chaperone. He has the educational skills to hang with the adults but doesn't have the social skills. That makes him quite vulnerable. Mary isn't wrong to worry. In the episode where Sheldon wanted to stay on campus overnight without warning, Mary was right to say no. George is often happy to let Sheldon work it out on his own not because that's what's best for Sheldon but because it's the easiest path for George. If he doesn't have to spend two hours picking Sheldon up, that's easier for him. If he can stay in front of the TV and tell Sheldon to sort something out himself, that's easier for him. Mary could stand to be less on top of Sheldon, but George could stand to be a more active parent overall.

And I think George is like that because he's depressed? Unsatisfied? Something he isn't putting into words. So I feel for him but the rest of the family, primarily Mary has to pick up the slack of the emotional labor of the household. Is Mary no fun because she's choosing to be a stick in the mud or is she the stick in the mud because so much of the emotional labor falls to her and it weighs her down?

[Tattooeddancer]

On 2/25/2022 at 12:30 PM, Katy M said:

Money from a scratch ticket?  Probably.  Money from a bank heist?  No way.

I also know of a pastor who said no thank you to a donation when he learned the money was from a newly born again church member selling off his pornography collection. He said while he appreciated the offer, the money was made off passing one's sin off to another person and he felt the collection should have been destroyed rather than passed on to another.

YMMV on whether porn is sinful, but I respected the pastor for sticking to his morals.

[SusanM]

1 hour ago, vibeology said:

And I think George is like that because he's depressed? Unsatisfied? Something he isn't putting into words. So I feel for him but the rest of the family, primarily Mary has to pick up the slack of the emotional labor of the household. Is Mary no fun because she's choosing to be a stick in the mud or is she the stick in the mud because so much of the emotional labor falls to her and it weighs her down?

Well said.   I don't know if the writers are actually trying to convey this or not but this is definitely what I take away when I watch this show. 

And I totally agree, Mary is not being over protective here - this is a 12 yr old, however bright, who is surrounded by adults, most of whom, frankly, have demonstrated that they are not interested in doing things for Sheldon with his best interest at heart.  They want the prestige and the donor dollars that are associated with having a child prodigy on campus.    Mary is right to be concerned and to want to make sure that everyone remember they are still dealing with a child,

[Chit Chat]

9 hours ago, vibeology said:

Sheldon is a 12 year old on a college campus that is at least an hour away from their house without a chaperone. He has the educational skills to hang with the adults but doesn't have the social skills. That makes him quite vulnerable. Mary isn't wrong to worry.

I agree.  My gripe about Mary babying Sheldon dates back long before he went to college.  Their household revolved around Sheldon.  He's definitely a challenge!

[chitowngirl]

Even Meemaw has a special nickname for him, but not for Missy and Georgie

[SusanM]

56 minutes ago, ChitChat said:

Their household revolved around Sheldon.  He's definitely a challenge!

This reminds me so much of a few families I know that have special needs kids.  One in particular the oldest daughter was severely intellectually handicapped which instead of improving as she got older got worse.  Long story short, the two younger daughters now live in different provinces and don't really have a lot to do with their parents.  They felt overlooked growing up and I guess even as adults they've found it hard to get over that.  I don't think they hate their parents but there's a lot of resentment there.

[proserpina65]

On 2/28/2022 at 12:22 PM, SusannahM said:

And I totally agree, Mary is not being over protective here - this is a 12 yr old, however bright, who is surrounded by adults, most of whom, frankly, have demonstrated that they are not interested in doing things for Sheldon with his best interest at heart.  They want the prestige and the donor dollars that are associated with having a child prodigy on campus.    Mary is right to be concerned and to want to make sure that everyone remember they are still dealing with a child,

I might agree if Mary hadn't spent years babying the hell out of Sheldon.  At this point he needs someone to help him develop the skills to deal with the adults with whom he's going to be dealing with, and she is doing him no favors by continuing to baby him.

[possibilities]

He needs protection, but he also needs to be taught skills. She disciplines him, but doesn't really improve his understanding and skillset.

 

Edited March 2, 2022 by possibilities

[Ziggy]

On 3/1/2022 at 7:53 PM, possibilities said:

He needs protection, but he also needs to be taught skills. She disciplines him, but doesn't really improve his understanding and skillset.

 

Oh my gosh!  That is so true.

I think she does that with all of them.  She's at a place in her faith where she is following rules because they are rules.  As soon as one of them challenges her, she doesn't always have a good explanation.  I'm not saying she's necessarily right or wrong.  She's just still in the process of understanding the wisdom (or lack thereof) of the what she's learning.  As she matures in her faith, ideally she will understand more the reasons behind certain teachings and have the wisdom to disregard some teachings that might not really make sense any more (might be based on the needs of a certain time in history - a need that no longer exists).

I'm just saying, Mary rarely has a good answer when one of them says, but why?

Mary loves her family very much, and in he own way she is really trying to do the right thing.  But she is still learning and still trying to make the connection between her religion and living in the real world.

[Ziggy]

On 2/28/2022 at 7:34 PM, SusannahM said:

This reminds me so much of a few families I know that have special needs kids.  One in particular the oldest daughter was severely intellectually handicapped which instead of improving as she got older got worse.  Long story short, the two younger daughters now live in different provinces and don't really have a lot to do with their parents.  They felt overlooked growing up and I guess even as adults they've found it hard to get over that.  I don't think they hate their parents but there's a lot of resentment there.

That is so sad!

I have a son on the Autism Spectrum, so sometimes I kind of understand where Mary is coming from.  You want to challenge them but not overwhelm them.  You need to make sure you give all your kids enough attention.  You know the rules have to be different (that's sometimes true of all kids), but you don't want to expect too much of anyone.

This is something that all parents struggle with, but it sometimes more noticeable when you have one child with very different needs.

[januaryman]

I liked Dr. Lee - I hope they use her again. She knows how to take down Sheldon. Much better character than Professor Boucher.

[cmahorror]

I get where both parents are coming from but I tend to relate more to Mary. First off, it is no fun being the one keeping the house going. My late husband had his job and a volunteer job. I had my job, my volunteer job, running the children around, cleaning the house, and doing the yard work. I would get told I am not as much fun as when we first started dating but how could I be? Someone had to take care of everything and that fell to me. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and never regretted falling into that role but it is a thankless role. People don't appreciate what you do, only complain if you do not do it. It is hard to be the fun one in that situation.

George didn't let Sheldon stay on campus because it was a learning experience for him - he did it because he didn't want to be bothered to drive and pick him up. It was all about George and had nothing to do with Sheldon. I get the inclination, I sometimes joked I needed a chauffer's hat for all the time I spent driving my girls and their friends around, but it was lazy and not in Sheldon's best interest. I get he had a bad day and he is worried about what it going to happen with his job but that is not an excuse to stop being a parent. 

I just feel like sometimes Mary gets treated like the bad guy for being the responsible adult. Could she loosen up a little? Definitely but when your partner doesn't want to share the responsibility of running the house, it is damn hard to do it.

[SusanM]

29 minutes ago, cmahorror said:

George didn't let Sheldon stay on campus because it was a learning experience for him - he did it because he didn't want to be bothered to drive and pick him up. It was all about George and had nothing to do with Sheldon. I get the inclination, I sometimes joked I needed a chauffer's hat for all the time I spent driving my girls and their friends around, but it was lazy and not in Sheldon's best interest. I get he had a bad day and he is worried about what it going to happen with his job but that is not an excuse to stop being a parent. 

This was how I saw it as well.  They've definitely made George a much more sympathetic character than a watcher of BBT would have expected but I do have to give them credit that they do show the more selfish, self-involved aspects of George.  I just wish they didn't have to throw Mary under the bus to accomplish making George likeable.

[appositival]

It bothered me that no one ever explained why Sheldon's "array of antenna" was not useful. Just telling him 'ghobe!' doesn't teach him anything (except that adults are unfair).