S13.E15: Memory Lane & a Dirty Little Secret

[ChiMama]

4 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

Gil isn't going to set the world on fire with a robust stock portfolio any time soon but I think it's selling him short to say he has "nothing." He seems to have everything he needs and maybe a little bit of what he wants. That's not nothing.

Thank you. It feels like Gil has really been unfairly piled on as of late. He & Myrla are a poor match in many ways - it doesn’t make him a villain.

Edited November 3, 2021 by ChiMama

[Yeah No]

4 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I disagree. At 35, Gil has a prior career as a personal trainer and a new-ish career as a firefighter. That career comes with solid health insurance, training, opportunities for advancement and other benefits - perhaps a pension and hopefully outstanding worker's compensation injury policies. He can make a career out of this and, while he won't get rich, he can support himself and a family in this line of work.

Gil has a home. He doesn't own it as far as we know, but a lot of people don't own their homes. He puts a roof over his own head; he feeds himself (except when the fire department feeds him). He has a car. 

Gil has some savings. My understanding of the conversation he had with Myrla was that he a small savings account in a bank in the US and another account in his mother's home country so he could help support her. So he has been supporting an older relative and has put himself on a career path to enable him to continue to do that at some level.

Gil has Hype. Who could need anything more? :)

Gil isn't going to set the world on fire with a robust stock portfolio any time soon but I think it's selling him short to say he has "nothing." He seems to have everything he needs and maybe a little bit of what he wants. That's not nothing.

 

From what I've read Houston firefighters are some of the lowest paid out there in the country, especially the starting salary and if he's new at it, that's significant.  I actually think he must be making some side money somewhere to be able to afford all that and help support his mom.  Benefits are great but if your salary isn't that great it can still be rough.  I think his decision to do this show might have been partly motivated by trying to earn more of that side money.  But even with all of that I doubt he's living on Easy Street.  It's not "nothing" but I'll bet he's not living up to Myrla's level financially.  His picking at her for spending feels too much like it's coming from having less or being over-obligated financially.  I'm skeptical about his overall financial health.  He's shone the spotlight on Myrla but I can't help but feel like he's doing it to deflect it away from himself and that he may not have so much himself.  I can't imagine that anyone living alone today on a salary that is known to be low in that profession would be doing that great if they also had to support their mother unless they had side money we're not hearing about.  But yeah, it's still a far cry from "nothing", though.

4 minutes ago, ChiMama said:

Thank you. It feels like Gil has really been unfairly piled on as of late. He’s the most normal guy in the cast by far, but he & Myrla are a poor match - doesn’t make him a villain.

I liked Gil a lot more before it became obvious that he picks at and criticizes Myrla a little too often and in a petty way while she does not do the same to him.   No, it doesn't make him a "villain" but people on this show have been shredded for much less.

[kristen111]

2 hours ago, Yeah No said:

From what I've read Houston firefighters are some of the lowest paid out there in the country, especially the starting salary and if he's new at it, that's significant.  I actually think he must be making some side money somewhere to be able to afford all that and help support his mom.  Benefits are great but if your salary isn't that great it can still be rough.  I think his decision to do this show might have been partly motivated by trying to earn more of that side money.  But even with all of that I doubt he's living on Easy Street.  It's not "nothing" but I'll bet he's not living up to Myrla's level financially.  His picking at her for spending feels too much like it's coming from having less or being over-obligated financially.  I'm skeptical about his overall financial health.  He's shone the spotlight on Myrla but I can't help but feel like he's doing it to deflect it away from himself and that he may not have so much himself.  I can't imagine that anyone living alone today on a salary that is known to be low in that profession would be doing that great if they also had to support their mother unless they had side money we're not hearing about.  But yeah, it's still a far cry from "nothing", though.

I liked Gil a lot more before it became obvious that he picks at and criticizes Myrla a little too often and in a petty way while she does not do the same to him.   No, it doesn't make him a "villain" but people on this show have been shredded for much less.

Yes .. that’s my whole point.  There’s no reason for him to knock her at every turn.  He may think it’s funny, but she does not.  It’s hurtful to her.  He talks about her money all the time, but not about his.  I never hear her say a word about him.  I don’t Hate him.  Geeze.  It doesn’t matter anyway, as I think she loves him.  Enough to give it a shot.  Plus, I give him credit for taking care of his Mom.  That’s admirable.

 

Edited November 3, 2021 by kristen111

[Empress1]

10 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I disagree. At 35, Gil has a prior career as a personal trainer and a new-ish career as a firefighter. That career comes with solid health insurance, training, opportunities for advancement and other benefits - perhaps a pension and hopefully outstanding worker's compensation injury policies. He can make a career out of this and, while he won't get rich, he can support himself and a family in this line of work.

Gil has a home. He doesn't own it as far as we know, but a lot of people don't own their homes. He puts a roof over his own head; he feeds himself (except when the fire department feeds him). He has a car. 

Gil has some savings. My understanding of the conversation he had with Myrla was that he a small savings account in a bank in the US and another account in his mother's home country so he could help support her. So he has been supporting an older relative and has put himself on a career path to enable him to continue to do that at some level.

Gil has Hype. Who could need anything more? :)

Gil isn't going to set the world on fire with a robust stock portfolio any time soon but I think it's selling him short to say he has "nothing." He seems to have everything he needs and maybe a little bit of what he wants. That's not nothing.

Agree with all this. Also with stagnant wages and rising costs for everything, especially housing (and especially housing right now, today, in this housing market), Gil is far, far from the only 35-year-old not to own a home or be flush with cash. I think Jose is the only one in the cast that we know owns.

Also, only about 10% of full-time workers in the US make over six figures. Gil may not make a lot but statistically, neither do most workers in the US (which is bullshit but that’s another story - like, you should make more money for literally walking through fire). I don’t think Gil is doing worse than anyone else - actually, given that he seems to like his job, he’s doing better than many.

[Mr. Miner]

If I'm in a marriage and thinking about starting a family. Sending money home to relatives would be a point of contention for me at some point. 

[qtpye]

6 hours ago, Yeah No said:

From what I've read Houston firefighters are some of the lowest paid out there in the country, especially the starting salary and if he's new at it, that's significant.  I actually think he must be making some side money somewhere to be able to afford all that and help support his mom.  Benefits are great but if your salary isn't that great it can still be rough.  I think his decision to do this show might have been partly motivated by trying to earn more of that side money.  But even with all of that I doubt he's living on Easy Street.  It's not "nothing" but I'll bet he's not living up to Myrla's level financially.  His picking at her for spending feels too much like it's coming from having less or being over-obligated financially.  I'm skeptical about his overall financial health.  He's shone the spotlight on Myrla but I can't help but feel like he's doing it to deflect it away from himself and that he may not have so much himself.  I can't imagine that anyone living alone today on a salary that is known to be low in that profession would be doing that great if they also had to support their mother unless they had side money we're not hearing about.  But yeah, it's still a far cry from "nothing", though.

I liked Gil a lot more before it became obvious that he picks at and criticizes Myrla a little too often and in a petty way while she does not do the same to him.   No, it doesn't make him a "villain" but people on this show have been shredded for much less.

 

3 hours ago, kristen111 said:

Yes .. that’s my whole point.  There’s no reason for him to knock her at every turn.  He may think it’s funny, but she does not.  It’s hurtful to her.  He talks about her money all the time, but not about his.  I never hear her say a word about him.  I don’t Hate him.  Geeze.  It doesn’t matter anyway, as I think she loves him.  Enough to give it a shot.  Plus, I give him credit for taking care of his Mom.  That’s admirable.

 

Yes, none of us want to disparage Gil.

He works in a noble profession that is very courageous and saves lives.

However, he can not keep constantly bringing up Myrla's finances and personal habits while his finances are protected from any scrutiny.

How much of his income is sent home to his mother? Does he have any savings at all in this country?

Myrla might like designer things but the show has already confirmed that she is doing quite well for herself in her savings account...heck, even Gil was impressed.

In the early seasons, we often heard about the salaries of the participants or we got some idea of what they make. 

They dropped that to protect privacy but it allows some of the participants to totally bullshit their finances.

For example, last season "entrepreneur" Chris claimed that he earned 3 times as much as Paige, who was an accountant.

He was bragging about himself while the Subway franchise that he owned (which was probably the main contributor of his income) was being foreclosed upon and the equipment was being put out on the sidewalk.

I think Gil is a good guy but the industries he chose before being a firefighter are not all that stable unless you have a lot of hustle (bodybuilder, trainer, Spanish TV show fitness commentator, etc.).

[kristen111]

1 minute ago, qtpye said:

 

Yes, none of us want to disparage Gil.

He works in a noble profession that is very courageous and saves lives.

However, he can not keep constantly bringing up Myrla's finances and personal habits while his finances are protected from any scrutiny.

How much of his income is sent home to his mother? Does he have any savings at all in this country?

Myrla might like designer things but the show has already confirmed that she is doing quite well for herself in her savings account...heck, even Gil was impressed.

In the early seasons, we often heard about the salaries of the participants or we got some idea of what they make. 

They dropped that to protect privacy but it allows some of the participants to totally bullshit their finances.

For example, last season "entrepreneur" Chris claimed that he earned 3 times as much as Paige, who was an accountant.

He was bragging about himself while the Subway franchise that he owned (which was probably the main contributor of his income) was being foreclosed upon and the equipment was being put out on the sidewalk.

I think Gil is a good guy but the industries he chose before being a firefighter are not all that stable unless you have a lot of hustle (bodybuilder, trainer, Spanish TV show fitness commentator, etc.).

Thank you.

[kristen111]

35 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

Thank you.

My Son-in-Law is a N.Y. City Fireman in Brooklyn N.y.  He either has to work another job on the side, or my Daughter has to compensate with a part time job, being they have a house, 2 cars, and 2 kids.  I was fortunate to be able to stay home with the kids as my husband worked for a good Company and his salary was sufficient.  I went back part time when the last was 12.  Most Firemen here have 2 jobs.  Taxes are enormous here.  The thought of having a nanny was preposterous.  It didn’t serve the purpose.  No Fireman is a Villain.

Edited November 3, 2021 by kristen111

[buttersister]

Every time Myrla says she loves her husband, I wonder if she's signed up for an X-week (who can count anymore) experience and is having a good time--without illusions of staying married. I think she likes Gil enough to not go off every time he picks at her finances (scripted or not). But I doubt he represents her long-term goals. And I think he's pretty much in the same boat--they can have a good time, but this isn't it for him, either.

They're both aware of how their behavior will carry over into their "real lives" and act accordingly. More so than any of the others (or at least, more successfully, imo).

[kristen111]

3 hours ago, buttersister said:

Every time Myrla says she loves her husband, I wonder if she's signed up for an X-week (who can count anymore) experience and is having a good time--without illusions of staying married. I think she likes Gil enough to not go off every time he picks at her finances (scripted or not). But I doubt he represents her long-term goals. And I think he's pretty much in the same boat--they can have a good time, but this isn't it for him, either.

They're both aware of how their behavior will carry over into their "real lives" and act accordingly. More so than any of the others (or at least, more successfully, imo).

YES.  Btw, is tonight the last episode of this show .. or what?  They say they are pondering their decisions.  What does this mean exactly?

[Retired at last]

9 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

YES.  Btw, is tonight the last episode of this show .. or what?  They say they are pondering their decisions.  What does this mean exactly?

Tonight they have discussions with friends and family prior to Decision Day. Next week is another filler where there is a panel of former couples discussing what they think the decisions will be (like we care). THEN we get Decision Day, followed by the Reunion, I think. So, we have another few weeks after tonight, unfortunately.

[kristen111]

35 minutes ago, Retired at last said:

Tonight they have discussions with friends and family prior to Decision Day. Next week is another filler where there is a panel of former couples discussing what they think the decisions will be (like we care). THEN we get Decision Day, followed by the Reunion, I think. So, we have another few weeks after tonight, unfortunately.

Oh brother.  They are really milking this.  No Unfiltered too.  Not that there’s anything to learn on there.  Thanks!

[Crashcourse]

I checked the schedule and after the regular episode tonight at 8-10 Eastern time.  After that there's a one hour show, "Decision Day Houston," when three former MAFS couples reminisce about their Decision Day experiences.  

[kristen111]

40 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

I checked the schedule and after the regular episode tonight at 8-10 Eastern time.  After that there's a one hour show, "Decision Day Houston," when three former MAFS couples reminisce about their Decision Day experiences.  

Another filler.  Why three former couples again? To me, it looks like the couples have already decided.  The last couple of weeks they were playing games, etc.  I’d say none stay together.  Thanks.

 

[ChiMama]

9 hours ago, qtpye said:

Yes, none of us want to disparage Gil.

He works in a noble profession that is very courageous and saves lives.

However, he can not keep constantly bringing up Myrla's finances and personal habits while his finances are protected from any scrutiny.

How much of his income is sent home to his mother? Does he have any savings at all in this country?

There’s been plenty of Gil disparagement and a clear dichotomy between “his finances are protected from scrutiny” followed by lots of speculation about his income/lack thereof, what he does with it, and suggestions he get a 2nd job. 

 

9 hours ago, qtpye said:

Myrla might like designer things but the show has already confirmed that she is doing quite well for herself in her savings account...heck, even Gil was impressed.

In the early seasons, we often heard about the salaries of the participants or we got some idea of what they make. 

They dropped that to protect privacy but it allows some of the participants to totally bullshit their finances.

Myrla has been vocal that she DOES like designer things. That’s fine. But, to your point -  how do we really know she “does quite well for herself” if the show can “totally bullshit their finances”? Her apartment, for example, was not that fancy. Why doesn’t she own a fancy condo if she’s so flush? 

My point is that this show is practically scripted at this point & heavily edited to showcase certain character traits, hide others, omit situations & conversations, etc. all in support of a ‘story’ they’ve concocted. BOTH Gil & Myrla are free to live their financial lives as singles as they wish, but they would need to honestly collaborate & compromise to successfully make it as a married couple — as does anyone. I don’t see that happening. 
 

Doesn’t really matter - the increased fakery, cast quality & forced drama of this show the last couple of seasons means I’m making this my final season. Fini. Amen. Adios. LOL

[Elizzikra]

Quote

Why doesn’t she own a fancy condo if she’s so flush? 

Because she prioritizes her discretionary income on something other than home ownership, at least at this point in her life?

[antfitz]

22 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I disagree. At 35, Gil has a prior career as a personal trainer and a new-ish career as a firefighter. That career comes with solid health insurance, training, opportunities for advancement and other benefits - perhaps a pension and hopefully outstanding worker's compensation injury policies. He can make a career out of this and, while he won't get rich, he can support himself and a family in this line of work.

Gil has a home. He doesn't own it as far as we know, but a lot of people don't own their homes. He puts a roof over his own head; he feeds himself (except when the fire department feeds him). He has a car. 

Gil has some savings. My understanding of the conversation he had with Myrla was that he a small savings account in a bank in the US and another account in his mother's home country so he could help support her. So he has been supporting an older relative and has put himself on a career path to enable him to continue to do that at some level.

Gil has Hype. Who could need anything more? :)

Gil isn't going to set the world on fire with a robust stock portfolio any time soon but I think it's selling him short to say he has "nothing." He seems to have everything he needs and maybe a little bit of what he wants. That's not nothing.

 

Gil has strength, love, commitment .....so much more than most.

2 minutes ago, antfitz said:

Gil has strength, love, commitment .....so much more than most.

 And I don't think Johnny ever really was in this . I think he was never attracted to Bao and I think he thinks hes a player. To me he's just some scrawny guy with a big ego.

[TheBride]

Michaela looked very glossed out at the gathering (of all the couples) and they passed on her in the round of comments. I think she really started to decompensate at the end of the season and they're handling her with kid gloves.

Ryan is a dope.

[pdlinda]

22 minutes ago, antfitz said:

And I don't think Johnny ever really was in this . I think he was never attracted to Bao and I think he thinks hes a player. To me he's just some scrawny guy with a big ego.

I don't think Johnny has a "big ego."  I think that's merely a cover-up for his extreme insecurity. 

If Johnny actually wants to pursue an authentic relationship (with or without marriage) he probably needs long-term professional counselling to process and overcome his traumatic and dysfunctional childhood. 

[qtpye]

12 hours ago, ChiMama said:

 

There’s been plenty of Gil disparagement and a clear dichotomy between “his finances are protected from scrutiny” followed by lots of speculation about his income/lack thereof, what he does with it, and suggestions he get a 2nd job. 

 

Myrla has been vocal that she DOES like designer things. That’s fine. But, to your point -  how do we really know she “does quite well for herself” if the show can “totally bullshit their finances”? Her apartment, for example, was not that fancy. Why doesn’t she own a fancy condo if she’s so flush? 

My point is that this show is practically scripted at this point & heavily edited to showcase certain character traits, hide others, omit situations & conversations, etc. all in support of a ‘story’ they’ve concocted. BOTH Gil & Myrla are free to live their financial lives as singles as they wish, but they would need to honestly collaborate & compromise to successfully make it as a married couple — as does anyone. I don’t see that happening. 
 

Doesn’t really matter - the increased fakery, cast quality & forced drama of this show the last couple of seasons means I’m making this my final season. Fini. Amen. Adios. LOL

They were looking at their bank account savings statements when they were talking about money. This is when Myrla was surprised that Gil has so little and he was surprised Myrla had so much. This was also when he said that most of his income is sent to a bank account in Colombia for his mother.

Perhaps the statements themselves were lies but it was much better than Chris or Michael from the previous season just pulling professions and numbers out of the air as proof of their income.

Edited November 4, 2021 by qtpye

[kristen111]

On 11/1/2021 at 10:57 AM, Mrs. Button said:

If you aspire to:

— house in burbs

— nanny

— say 2 vacations/year

— mommy makeovers post-delivery from a good plastic surgeon

....that is a VERY expensive lifestyle. I don't know what living expenses are like in Texas, but in our neck of the woods, that's a minimum of $200K, probably more with a full time nanny. Myrla was quite sensible to want to make a 20% down payment, but taking into account saving for retirement, as well as various kid expenses — for several kids no less! — that don't let up (diapers to sports to college), the hits just keep coming. Then there are unexpected home and health expenses you have to be ready for — furnace, new roof, etc. A kid breaks their arm at  a birthday party and needs emergency surgery, that's $7K after insurance (at least it was for us a decade back, now it would probably be a lot more). That's a recipe for bankruptcy, or at the very least carrying a lot of debt. Some people are fine living like this, personally I would not sleep very well.

And once you're in the suburbs, a big segment Keeps Up With the Joneses so they never feel "less than" — that means if the neighbors get a Tesla, your life feels empty without one too. That is not to say there's anything wrong per se with this type of lifestyle, especially if you feel you have earned it, but my goodness, know what you are getting into. In my experience, those who navigate it the easiest have family money/help; those who navigate it realistically understand they can't realize every last whim.

I'm not a huge fan of Gil's needling — frankly it's equally negative as the negativity he is complaining about — but both of them need to take a good hard long look before they make that down payment or even worse, bring a child into it. In the end, I don't think they value the same things, and since they don't have a history, there is no desire to find a happy middle ground. Someone who risks their life every day to go into a burning buildings to save people and animals, they see life in terms other than numbers on the paycheck, and that is what Myrla is all about. 

Two vacations a year, plastic surgery.  I’m laughing.  These people are in never, never land and don’t know what they are in for.  They haven’t a clue what life is about.  Stay single if you want all of that.  They are projecting, and only married eight weeks.  They don’t realize what will come up.  They think marriage is a joy ride.  See me in say fifteen years, and let me know how things worked out.  They’ll all be in debt and divorced.

[Lindz]

FINALLY Johnny loses his appetite during their "unpleasant" talks. It's ABOUT DAMN TIME! 😂 He's always the one setting her up to pick her apart, while he chows down. He doesn't deserve to enjoy his meals!

[Lindz]

Ryan STILL refuses to actually SAY he's done. Still showing through sh*tty actions. Even when called out, he didn't own it & say he's done & moving on. He actually skipped that part & just apologized. WTF is WRONG with him?!?!! So GROSS!!!

[Maximadc]

On 10/29/2021 at 7:24 PM, LennieBriscoe said:

We know Myrla owns designer shoes, at least. But she hasn't worn them on this show. I think she's "read the room" correctly. 

Johnny has mental problems. Like, he is seriously delusional. 

She was wearing Louboutin sandals