S02.E05: ... ruined someone's life

[paulvdb]

Quote

At a 24-hour school relay, Devi's impulsive words spark an insensitive rumor. Fabiola hesitates to introduce her overenthusiastic mother to Eve.

 

[TrininisaScorp]

This was rough.  It is a perfect example of Devi letting her anger control her, and her lashing out hurts other people. That was a cold thing to randomly say because she is mad at Aneesa over ownership of a boy she was playing.  Devi being thoughtless as hell has really hurt this girl who was already hurting, and who, by all that we have seen, has actually been a good friend to Devi.  I appreciate that I get frustrated with Devi b/c she's actually a good person who makes mistakes, and has to learn lessons. 

PS.  Paxton not taking agency for his own shit study habits is bullshit.  Devi is busy, but made you the flashcards.  Fucking study those.  You getting high with your boy Trent (who has cracked me up more and more this season) isn't Devi's problem.  I cackled at the Magic Mike table levelling.  It's so gratuitous, and is really meant, IMO, to show the double standard that we usually see in these shows. 

[peachmangosteen]

4 hours ago, TrininisaScorp said:

PS.  Paxton not taking agency for his own shit study habits is bullshit.  Devi is busy, but made you the flashcards.  Fucking study those.  You getting high with your boy Trent (who has cracked me up more and more this season) isn't Devi's problem. 

This is why I couldn't really feel much for him last episode when he realized no one believes he can do well in school. Like, why would they? None of his actions support that he could lol. I think it's actually pretty cool that his parents don't push him when it's obvious school isn't for him.

[shapeshifter]

23 hours ago, TrininisaScorp said:

Paxton not taking agency for his own shit study habits is bullshit.  Devi is busy, but made you the flashcards.  Fucking study those.  You getting high with your boy Trent (who has cracked me up more and more this season) isn't Devi's problem.  I cackled at the Magic Mike table levelling.  It's so gratuitous, and is really meant, IMO, to show the double standard that we usually see in these shows.

I thought that was Chekovian gratuitous table-leveling --like in the last act/episode Paxton is going to get a job apprenticing to a custom furniture maker and have a much more self-fulfilling life than if he'd gone to Stanford.

 

I realize Devi was angry when she made the "ano" remark, but she didn't think Aneesa really was anorexic, or that the words become a rumor and would really hurt Aneesa. I had a hard time watching this episode with regards to being mad at Devi the way we were supposed to be, because I kept projecting my own teen self into Devi.
This is probably a Tl;dr explanation that most of you will want to bypass, but: 
When I was in high school in the late 1960s, some girlfriends were standing around during lunch and one said, "I wonder why Jane is wearing that prom dress with the empire waist?" I was very socially clueless, but good at geometry and enjoyed designing and drawing dresses, and I always wanted to answer the questions first in class (like Devi?) so I blurted: "Probably because she's pregnant." I didn't know that she could wind up not graduating if it was "known" that she was 7 months pregnant. It didn't occur to me that the friend asking the question knew the answer. Shortly afterwards, the pregnant girl cornered me alone in a stairwell and said she heard I was spreading rumors about her being pregnant. The rest of that year I ate lunch alone in the stairwell or outside. After that my boyfriend's sister never spoke to me. Plus, my boyfriend was in Vietnam, so I never went to prom. I started binge drinking on weekends. Sometimes accidentally starting a rumor can hurt the rumor starter as much at the person who is the object of the rumor, if not more. 
This plot arc with Devi is the first time I've noticed the rumor situation explored in more detail that it just being the villain starting the rumor.
So I'm glad they went there, but it seems from the comments above that Devi is now just a villain to the viewers anyway.

[possibilities]

Devi's friends are trying to get her to apologize and make amends. No one is telling her to resign from life, develop a drinking problem, or otherwise self-immolate. There are consequences of mistakes, regardless of the reasons. I think we need to teach kids how to handle their mistakes, not how to handwave them. I'm sorry you didn't get better guidance when you went through that, but I don't think the show is trying to make us hate Devi, or that it's leading to a "moral of the story is that if you fuck up you are irredeemable." She gets a lot of second and third and fifty millionth chances on this show. People stick by her. But they don't give her a pass on hurting others, either.

[Irlandesa]

11 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

So I'm glad they went there, but it seems from the comments above that Devi is now just a villain to the viewers anyway.

Most of us have been teens.  I too said something thoughtlessly about a classmate because I was an academic snob that ended up hurting someone.  I apologized but I had to let the chips fall where they may in terms of whether or not the person it was about every truly forgave me.

But the reason Devi is getting so much pushback is because her actions in this episode went far beyond a careless comment.  She tried to manipulate a situation because she was jealous and then she lashed out about a friend.  And instead of saying "no, I'm just frustrated" when she was overheard, she doubled down and said it was probably true.

[tennisgurl]

That was hard to watch, Devi really screwed up on this one. Aneesa has been nothing but nice to Devi and is clearly already hurting, and now Devi has majorly screwed her over because of her own petty jealousy over a boy. At least it seems like Devi finally realized that she went too far by the end, hopefully this is an important lesson about hurting people when she feels angry and insecure. 

Paxton, just suck it up and make your own damn cards.

[shapeshifter]

3 hours ago, tennisgurl said:

Paxton, just suck it up and make your own damn cards.

Paxton didn't even need to make the cards. He just had to study them--which is, admittedly more fun with 2 people, but, IRL, I bet he could easily get another girl to help. 
But, also, yes, next time he should make his own damn cards. That's part of the learning/memorization process.

[Aulty]

14 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

Paxton didn't even need to make the cards. He just had to study them--which is, admittedly more fun with 2 people, but, IRL, I bet he could easily get another girl to help. 
But, also, yes, next time he should make his own damn cards. That's part of the learning/memorization process.

Maybe he needed Devi as a drill instructor, because thats what he is used to from swimming practice?
If Paxton has been floating on his sporting prowess for a long time, he might not know how to study properly - and I know, its not that hard, but any hurdle can be discouraging.

[possibilities]

If Paxton was a real person, I'd suspect him of having some kind of learning disability-- dyslexia, maybe. He learns quickly when he's given information orally, but not when he has to read or write.

I think he was wrong to expect Devi to be responsible for his studying, and to not try when she crapped out on him. But she was also wrong to keep saying she would be there and then not show up.

[supposebly]

Best line: I have to dress like this to get respected at work.

Poor Kamala.

[love2lovebadtv]

On 7/16/2021 at 12:55 PM, TrininisaScorp said:

This was rough.  It is a perfect example of Devi letting her anger control her, and her lashing out hurts other people. That was a cold thing to randomly say because she is mad at Aneesa over ownership of a boy she was playing.  Devi being thoughtless as hell has really hurt this girl who was already hurting, and who, by all that we have seen, has actually been a good friend to Devi.  I appreciate that I get frustrated with Devi b/c she's actually a good person who makes mistakes, and has to learn lessons. 

PS.  Paxton not taking agency for his own shit study habits is bullshit.  Devi is busy, but made you the flashcards.  Fucking study those.  You getting high with your boy Trent (who has cracked me up more and more this season) isn't Devi's problem.  I cackled at the Magic Mike table levelling.  It's so gratuitous, and is really meant, IMO, to show the double standard that we usually see in these shows. 

I really love how the show portrays Devi's anger issues. It's totally a thing. And she hasn't learned to regulate her emotions.

On 7/16/2021 at 5:27 PM, peachmangosteen said:

This is why I couldn't really feel much for him last episode when he realized no one believes he can do well in school. Like, why would they? None of his actions support that he could lol. I think it's actually pretty cool that his parents don't push him when it's obvious school isn't for him.

Agreed. Paxton has shown zero interest in anything academic. I guess we're supposed to boo his parents but all teenagers don't attend college - and certainly not Stanford. Can we normalize having a skill/trade, regardless of where you learned it? Swimming was one but there are others.

On 7/17/2021 at 3:04 PM, possibilities said:

Devi's friends are trying to get her to apologize and make amends. No one is telling her to resign from life, develop a drinking problem, or otherwise self-immolate. There are consequences of mistakes, regardless of the reasons. I think we need to teach kids how to handle their mistakes, not how to handwave them. I'm sorry you didn't get better guidance when you went through that, but I don't think the show is trying to make us hate Devi, or that it's leading to a "moral of the story is that if you fuck up you are irredeemable." She gets a lot of second and third and fifty millionth chances on this show. People stick by her. But they don't give her a pass on hurting others, either.

I agree that we need to teach our kids how to handle their mistakes! That's how you learn. That's how you become a competent adult. 

On 7/18/2021 at 12:08 AM, Irlandesa said:

Most of us have been teens.  I too said something thoughtlessly about a classmate because I was an academic snob that ended up hurting someone.  I apologized but I had to let the chips fall where they may in terms of whether or not the person it was about every truly forgave me.

But the reason Devi is getting so much pushback is because her actions in this episode went far beyond a careless comment.  She tried to manipulate a situation because she was jealous and then she lashed out about a friend.  And instead of saying "no, I'm just frustrated" when she was overheard, she doubled down and said it was probably true.

Yes, I think Devi did what a lot of people do. She carelessly ascribed a real health issue to something she noticed. Like when people call someone bipolar because they seem moody, or OCD because they're neat, etc. In this case, Devi's observation was spot-on but she spoke about it out of jealousy. She lacks the emotional maturity to handle Ben being upset with her and she's taking it out on Aneesa. Also, she unfortunately lashed out to two emotionally immature schoolmates who gossip about people's struggles. If she had said something like that to Eleanor and Fabi, it wouldn't not have been a rumor. They would have taken the time to figure out the issue and they wouldn't have gossiped about it. But Devi was super emotional and just rambled to whoever who would listen.

On 7/20/2021 at 10:08 AM, tennisgurl said:

That was hard to watch, Devi really screwed up on this one. Aneesa has been nothing but nice to Devi and is clearly already hurting, and now Devi has majorly screwed her over because of her own petty jealousy over a boy. At least it seems like Devi finally realized that she went too far by the end, hopefully this is an important lesson about hurting people when she feels angry and insecure. 

Paxton, just suck it up and make your own damn cards.

It's interesting to me that Paxton doesn't seem as bent up as I thought he'd be about not being able to swim. But then, he's still expecting Devi to help him learn and he doesn't feel like he can do it on his own.

On 7/20/2021 at 2:48 PM, possibilities said:

If Paxton was a real person, I'd suspect him of having some kind of learning disability-- dyslexia, maybe. He learns quickly when he's given information orally, but not when he has to read or write.

I think he was wrong to expect Devi to be responsible for his studying, and to not try when she crapped out on him. But she was also wrong to keep saying she would be there and then not show up.

I've worked extensively with people who are dyslexic and I wouldn't be surprised if Paxton had an undiagnosed learning disability/difference.

We often hear from successful people who struggled to learn in the traditional ways and instead found ways to succeed at acting, entrepreneurship, leadership, filmmaking, acting, art, etc.

[dubbel zout]

On 7/24/2021 at 10:46 PM, love2lovebadtv said:

I've worked extensively with people who are dyslexic and I wouldn't be surprised if Paxton had an undiagnosed learning disability/difference.

I'd be surprised if Paxton hasn't undergone some testing for learning disorders, but it's entirely possible his teachers are as uninvested in his academics as his parents are. Big fail on both sides there, especially since Paxton has to earn at least a C average at Stanford to be eligible.

I like that Paxton is backsliding with the studying. It makes sense he'd lose interest once he realized how much work it would be even without Devi.

I love that Dr. Ryan takes absolutely no shit from Devi.

Nice little bit of continuity showing Eric with his (human) girlfriend, whom he met at Devi's rager. Hee.

An 11-minute mile isn't that bad.

[Scarlett45]

On 7/24/2021 at 9:46 PM, love2lovebadtv said:

Yes, I think Devi did what a lot of people do. She carelessly ascribed a real health issue to something she noticed. Like when people call someone bipolar because they seem moody, or OCD because they're neat, etc. In this case, Devi's observation was spot-on but she spoke about it out of jealousy. She lacks the emotional maturity to handle Ben being upset with her and she's taking it out on Aneesa. Also, she unfortunately lashed out to two emotionally immature schoolmates who gossip about people's struggles. If she had said something like that to Eleanor and Fabi, it wouldn't not have been a rumor. They would have taken the time to figure out the issue and they wouldn't have gossiped about it. But Devi was super emotional and just rambled to whoever who would listen.

That’s how I saw it too. Devi was in the wrong but she wasn’t acting maliciously, I put more of the blame on Ben’s ex and her friend who were spreading rumors just to be nasty people. 
 

Of course Aneesa has nothing to be ashamed of- having anorexia isn’t a moral failure. I understand not wanting everyone in her medical history, and people can be judgement and cruel, I just wanted to give the poor girl a hug. She shouldn’t have to feel like she has to leave school because she has a medical condition. 

[BAForever]

A year late! But want to comment. I never started a hurtful rumor in school, but boy was I an a****** to those not in my social group. I think many high school girls are the same. As an adult, I look back embarrassed, I think a lot of it is just growing up and learning empathy. Devi will be ok.