S16.E01: Premiere

[OnceSane]

Quote

Clare Crawley finally embarks on her journey to find her soul mate.

Airs October 13, 2020.*

 

*Will air on this date if Game 7 of the NBA finals is unnecessary.

[JenE4]

Hello, gang! Welcome to the most dramatic season in Bachelorette history. I can’t wait to go on this journey with you all. I love that they already spoiled the entire debacle—but I’m here for the wrong reasons.

[tennisgurl]

All aboard the Hot Mess Express!

[leighdear]

Wrong reason Leigh, checking in for this crazy ride!  *LOL*

[dizzyd]

They conveniently left out her stint on winter games. 😏

[bosawks]

Wait, La Quinta is actually a place and not just a motel chain?

Huh, I learned something from The Bachelorette....

[nutty1]

I have never been NOT primed and ready for a new season. Until now. I didn’t even know until yesterday that today was the premiere. But I’m here. And definitely need some snark in my life. 

[leighdear]

I like the way they're doing this intro for her.  Weird, but I like that she's not giggly, simpering and whiney about the delays.  

[JenE4]

3 minutes ago, dizzyd said:

They conveniently left out her stint on winter games. 😏

Seriously! Forgot to mention that she had a “fiancé” for about 2 weeks—plus a broken “jacuzzi appointment” with the other dude.

[bosawks]

I’ve had four Covid tests and not once when I got my negative results was I serenaded by the animal kingdom like a Disney movie.

Frankly, I feel a little robbed.....

[FlyingEgret]

Bring on the dogs!  (The 4-legged variety...)

1 minute ago, bosawks said:

I’ve had four Covid tests and not once when I got my negative results was I serenaded by the animal kingdom like a Disney movie.

Frankly, I feel a little robbed.....

You need to ask your boss to have Chris Harrison personally deliver the next result!   (I am just assuming if you have already had 4 you will have another - but stay safe!)

[tennisgurl]

Good to see that animal reaction shots are still the best part of the show. 

...and it’s already weird. 

[leighdear]

I have grown to despise the term "self-care" with such a blinding hot rage.....

And it's definitely not a Clare season without animal friends.

Edited October 14, 2020 by leighdear

[JenE4]

Just now, tennisgurl said:

Good to see that animal reaction shots are still the best part of the show. 

...and it’s already weird. 

I hope Claire’s raccoon confidant made it to La Quinta!

[tennisgurl]

I love the opening where everyone has a three second elevator pitch for why we should root for them and what they're gimmick is going to be. 

"Hi I'm athlete guy!" 

"Hi I'm smart guy!" 

"Hi I'm quirky guy!" 

"Hi I'm DILF guy!"

[bosawks]

8 minutes ago, FlyingEgret said:

You need to ask your boss to have Chris Harrison personally deliver the next result!   (I am just assuming if you have already had 4 you will have another - but stay safe!)

Viva La Social Services!!!!!!

All I Want for Christmas is a Negative Test Result......

[leighdear]

Love the shoes & dress.  She looks great.  Halter's are good for her, she's got the right shoulders.  

Edited October 14, 2020 by leighdear

[leighdear]

Wow, I forgot all about that video.  It was a serious deal to her family when they met Juan Pablo.  Her sisters were terrifying!!!  

[bosawks]

If I asked my dead father anything I’m pretty sure his reply would be, “I’m dead.  You should probably ask someone else.”

To be fair he was a pretty practical person and I imagine he’d be a pretty practical ghost.

[saber5055]

What's the deal with all the 29-year-old dudes. She could almost (almost) be their mom.

Yeah, I was totally waiting for a Winter Games Clare recap. Maybe a pic or two of Benoit.

All those guy crying because they got a q-tip stuck up their noses. What a bunch of babies. I would have sent each of them home just for that. "No rose for you!"

I'm so happy this is back. I'll be here as long as Clare is here. Looking forward to some snark-a-licious fun.

So far Road Runner is getting top billing. Yeay!

[CindyBee]

So far team Ivan.  What a cutie with a real job!!

[bosawks]

Flip flop guy was genius.

I’d marry anybody with flip flops after a couple of hours in heels.

[CindyBee]

Second favorite after Ivan is easily Kenny just for his moniker "Boy Band Manager"

[JenE4]

An aeronautical engineer. Is that a flying boat designer? 💁‍♀️ A floating plane? 

A boy band manager?

Oh, Bennett is this year’s Kalon. Mr Fancypants.

ETA: ok, “nautical” doesn’t mean boats, apparently, but just aircraft design. 

Edited October 14, 2020 by JenE4
The more you know

[tennisgurl]

I am already calling Ivan as a favorite, but I dont know if he will take home the final rose, he almost seems too normal to win.

[FlyingEgret]

So now I have You're So Vain stuck in my head - thanks Bennett...

You walked into the party
Like you were walking on to a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf, it was apricot

Edited October 14, 2020 by FlyingEgret

[leighdear]

I did like the Clark Griswold/Cousin Eddie guy.  For now. 

And no man should ever wear a white, silk scarf.  Ever.  I don't think James Bond ever wore one. Though Warren Beatty may have...

Edited October 14, 2020 by leighdear

[saber5055]

5 minutes ago, CindyBee said:

So far team Ivan.  What a cutie with a real job!!

Being 29 knocks him out for me, even if he does build flying boats.

[bosawks]

Just now, FlyingEgret said:

So now I have You're So Vain stuck in my head...

You walked into the party
Like you were walking on to a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf, it was apricot

Harvard or not I bet he can’t spell gavotte....

[CindyBee]

Just now, leighdear said:

 And no man should ever wear a white, silk scarf.  Ever.  I don't think James Bond ever wore one.

But Bennett went to HARVARD!

I think most of these guys are just glad to be out and about.

[leighdear]

These guys are acting like a quick hug is about the equivalent of a all-night, reverse cowgirl.  I guess quarantine has been tough on a lot of guys.  

[tennisgurl]

That guy just fingertrapped her! 

That scarf is sure a fashion statement...if your a vampire at the opera in the 1800s.

[bosawks]

Did someone at ABC tell these guys that wearing socks makes them susceptible to COVID?

[CindyBee]

Yay for Eazy and the Salmon Suit!

[leighdear]

The too small suits, too short pants and no socks looks REALLY need to be buried.  

3 minutes ago, bosawks said:

Harvard or not I bet he can’t spell gavotte....

But he can watch himself.....

[bosawks]

A dorky anesthesiologist, I’m in! 

[JenE4]

I snorted so loud with Eazy busting through that “Future Husband” banner feet first in that pink suit.

Cutest guy so far was right before him—looked a little like Zac Effron. Insurance salesman or something. Missed his name because I was lost in his eyes, lol.

Editing myself to say Brandon might be even better looking.

Edited October 14, 2020 by JenE4

[tennisgurl]

I would be pretty into a guy bringing me snacks, so this seems like a solid choice.

[CindyBee]

So Eazy was cast as the role of narrator.  Great, as we always need a good narrator.  

[leighdear]

Ok, the bubble is funny.  

Who doesn't know about Moon Pies?  What a freak. 

So many of these guys look like Nev Schulman, from the show "Catfish" and now on "Dancing with the Stars".  

Oh, Dale......

[Kiss my mutt]

Gawd, these first introductions seem more awkward than usual. The guys just seem so young and dorky. They had plenty of time to rehearse and it feels so forced. These dudes were chomping at the bit after waiting so long. 

[tennisgurl]

These people talk about weddings more than my wedding planner does. 

[FlyingEgret]

Is "spin instructor" the male version of "dental hygentist"?

[JenE4]

Wow. Clare had a “love at first sight” moment. Thought she might actually go on a DATE before falling in love with Dale, but here we are. All the fart ring boxes, moon-pies, and scarves in the world won’t tear her from her man. 

[CindyBee]

Now we can get the important stuff:  who is not here to make friends and who is not here for the right reasons!

[saber5055]

9 minutes ago, leighdear said:

The too small suits, too short pants and no socks looks REALLY need to be buried.  

No kidding. I was wondering if they were all wearing Peds or put foot powder on to keep those dress shoes from chafing up a blister or two.

High-water pants ... all the dorks wore those when I was that age. It hasn't improved over the years.

I missed flip-flop guy. But fart-ring guy I would have told to turn around and catch the next limo out.

Gee, any reason they saved Dale for last?

[leighdear]

Awww, Eazy is such a sweetie!

[nutty1]

14 minutes ago, bosawks said:

A dorky anesthesiologist, I’m in! 

Guess I’m not paying attention enough. Which one is that?

[leighdear]

3 minutes ago, CindyBee said:

Now we can get the important stuff:  who is not here to make friends and who is not here for the right reasons!

Yep, the drinks are starting to kick in, so the posturing and Alpha male crap will start cropping up in conversations...

[JenE4]

1 minute ago, leighdear said:

Awww, Eazy is such a sweetie!

I’m looking forward to Eazy becoming a card-carrying member of Bachelor Family and going on all the spin-off shows. He’s funny AND sweet.