S02.E08: Perception is Reality

[mamadrama]

1 hour ago, Persnickety1 said:

Yesterday I got Betty's book "Telling on Myself" in the mail.  I was really tired and only made it through the second chapter before I fell asleep.

One part I recall is Betty saying she never should have murdered Linda.  I don't remember the details of her explanation, but I do remember that part.  

I'm sure the book will contain liberal amounts of bullshit, but I'm really looking forward to seeing if she has any insight after all of these years.  

That's really interesting. Linda's kind of an enigma to me. Betty's opinions are my only frame of reference for her, but she's not much of a reliable narrator.

[Persnickety1]

1 minute ago, mamadrama said:

That's really interesting. Linda's kind of an enigma to me. Betty's opinions are my only frame of reference for her, but she's not much of a reliable narrator.

I agree.  I'm only into the second chapter, so I've no idea if Betty will elaborate any further on Linda.  I'm taking everything with a big coarse grain of salt with this book because Betty's perception of things, as we know, isn't always exactly accurate.  

In addition, it was published in April 2015 and I can't help but raise an eyebrow and wonder if she wrote it intentionally to be published before her upcoming (2017) parole hearing.  

In either event, I'm sure it will be an interesting read.  

[teapot]

I’m not sure on the pronunciation of Linda’s name.  This series said “Kol-ken-na” but Snapped & the Baxter movie said “Kol-kee-na”.  Why do I care?  I don’t, just curious!!!

Edited July 18, 2020 by teapot

[txhorns79]

On 7/17/2020 at 10:46 AM, mamadrama said:

That's really interesting. Linda's kind of an enigma to me. Betty's opinions are my only frame of reference for her, but she's not much of a reliable narrator.

I think that was the biggest weakness of this series.  We are given so little insight into Linda or what she is thinking.  It would have been nice for her to have a scene or two where we get insight into her motivations. 

[mamadrama]

On 7/15/2020 at 2:11 PM, TattleTeeny said:

The Snapped thing didn't seem to mention that Dan had been having an prolonged extramarital affair either.

Scorned: Dan and Betty separated in 1989.

Also Scorned: Dan and Linda got together in 1989. 

Um...yeah. The discrepancies drove me insane.

[Lone Wolf]

On 7/16/2020 at 8:37 AM, Tabbygirl521 said:

If you’re still looking for “Until the Twelfth of Never,” check out thriftbooks.com. They have a new paperback version for just under $20.

 

Thanks for this tip - I just went there and ordered a paperback version of a different book that I've been waffling over for my Kindle, for a couple bucks less than Amazon was offering for it in the same condition.  BookBub is worth checking out as well.

I was going to watch Snapped but passed after I read about the inaccuracies that others have mentioned here - for some reason I thought Snapped could be relied on to get its facts straight, so that was annoying.  Being already somewhat familiar with the story, I'm satisfied enough with DJ's version.  

Slater was surprisingly (to me) good in this - he seemed like a lightweight with the obvious Jack Nicholson "homage" way back in Heathers, and nothing of his work has really caught my attention enough to change my mind since then.  I've liked Peet in everything I've seen her in, so no surprise there.  

Based on this installment, I'll be keeping an eye open for the next Dirty John subject.

 

[Tabbygirl521]

11 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Scorned: Dan and Betty separated in 1989.

Also Scorned: Dan and Linda got together in 1989. 

Um...yeah. The discrepancies drove me insane.

Snapped said they got together in 1989 and also that they married in 1989 after several years of dating. The whole thing was pretty disappointing, IMO

i really admired the portrayal on Dirty John  of the prosecutor In Betty’s murder trials. 

Edited July 20, 2020 by Tabbygirl521

[MamaMax]

On ‎7‎/‎17‎/‎2020 at 10:46 AM, mamadrama said:

That's really interesting. Linda's kind of an enigma to me. Betty's opinions are my only frame of reference for her, but she's not much of a reliable narrator.

I'm not sure we will ever learn about the "real" Linda.. because her friends and family likely wont speak ill of the dead, and other people like Betty's friends probably don't know how much of what Betty said was true, exaggerated, made up completely. If Linda was awful to Betty but only in private, we will never know.

[3girlsforus]

On 7/15/2020 at 1:00 AM, Lady of nod said:

I think she's served enough time.

Theoretically I agree. I could potentially support parole after 30+ years. But it’s not just about the number of years served. Parole requires two elements.  She still openly talks like a victim. She still has no concept that she did anything wrong. She still thinks they deserved it. Until that happens, I don’t think parole is warranted. She hasn’t even come around enough to just play the game. Even criminals who have every intention of committing another crime the second they are out know to express remorse. She just doesn’t get it. She is still baffled that anyone things it was a bad thing.  Parole needs both remorse and time - a long time for murder. I will say one thing though, saying no parole hearing for another 15 years seems excessive to me. If she hasn’t come around to her crime by now , she probably won’t ever, but saying she hasn’t even got another shot for 15 years seems excessive. 5 years seems more reasonable to me. If she hasn’t figured it out by then, another 5 years. It’s not like the next parole hearing requires her to be released. 

[itsadryheat]

Whatched an Oprah interview with Betty where she informs us of Betty's severe case of the June Cleaver syndrome, as a matter of fact, according to Oprah, Betty is the defining example.

It appeared to me Oprah was struggling with Betty being happy with her choice to be in a traditional role rather than losing herself in the role of mother/wife/homemaker.  Rather than leaving honestly, Dan flipped the switch, gaslighted, acted like he was working on the marriage, gamed her and then with his cohort Linda psychologically totured her. 

Sad story for everyone. Too bad it ended this way. Awful that Bettey couldn't help herself or accept the help she desperately needed. It was very difficult watching the continued games and her devolve. Everyone lost.

Edited July 27, 2020 by itsadryheat

[Klaw]

On 7/15/2020 at 4:20 PM, txhorns79 said:

Dan didn't stack the legal deck against Betty.  She terminated her lawyers, violated multiple court orders and dragged out her divorce, costing herself quite a bit of money.  I don't pretend Dan treated Betty well, but Betty sabotaged herself repeatedly. 

I so agree TXHorns!! Being sympathetic to Betty is human, and sometimes during the course of their story I did feel the pangs of sympathy, but when you step back and look at her situation objectively, you realize how insanely fortunate she was. I mean, at some point, I would've said to Linda "take him, honey!" She was pulling in 16,000 A MONTH, plus had, a what? an Ocean view house? In today's dollars that's over $400,000K a year and a good lawyer (had she listened) probably could've found Dan's assets and gotten her MORE.  She was doing a helluva lot better than the gajillions of other women who got dumped by bastard ex-husbands. She was smart, she had a boyfriend, she supposedly had tons of friends before she alienated most of them  and she had good counsel that she threw away. I am a lawyer and this was one of the reason I stayed away from family law when I started out because of clients like her that think they know more than you do and are so emotional they refuse to listen and treat you like a therapist, not an attorney. Had she stuck with competent counsel she would have stayed a wealthy woman, still young at the time of the divorce, with the world open to her.

I also think her personality disorders made it impossible for her to get help for her mental illness and that's really the sad part. She is a supreme malignant narcissist and was completely unable to be self aware or take responsibility for her own actions. She is a liar and always the victim. Even now. She deserves to die in prison. 

[fountain]

I think the fact that Betty is alive and didn’t commit murder/suicide this case will always saint Dan and demonize Betty more than is the real story. In the last 6 months, someone in my industry committed murder/suicide and due to the fact the murderer is deceased there is a lot of empathy for the struggle the murderer must have had and that most definitely wouldn’t have been the case if the suicide didn’t occur.

I liked the series as Dan wasn’t portrayed as a saint and many of the podcasts I have listened to really don’t explore how Dan was. I should read that book mentioned as it seems more balanced than the podcasts.

I feel bad for the children involved, growing up in such a toxic environment.

[Christina]

On 8/15/2020 at 3:08 PM, fountain said:

I think the fact that Betty is alive and didn’t commit murder/suicide this case will always saint Dan and demonize Betty more than is the real story. In the last 6 months, someone in my industry committed murder/suicide and due to the fact the murderer is deceased there is a lot of empathy for the struggle the murderer must have had and that most definitely wouldn’t have been the case if the suicide didn’t occur.

I liked the series as Dan wasn’t portrayed as a saint and many of the podcasts I have listened to really don’t explore how Dan was. I should read that book mentioned as it seems more balanced than the podcasts.

I feel bad for the children involved, growing up in such a toxic environment.

I agree completely, but also think that her refusal to take ANY responsibility for her actions has resulted in her remaining in the forefront of the stories being told and Dan's behaviors being forgotten. She has also lied and changed her story so often that people are unable to believe a word she says about Dan's behavior. If she had committed suicide or even acknowledged that her actions were wrong in the end, and that she realized it after therapy, people would be able to understand the gaslighting and his constant toying with her. I hate how the word gaslighting has been redefined as being a liar when in actuality, it's a psychological torture behavior that can result in people not being able to think clearly, and Dan had been doing it to her for years.

One of the saddest parts of the story as it pertains to Betty is that she would have been in a very good position if she had just listened to her first attorney. Dan would be divorced a second time and Betty would have the last laugh. Now, she just comes across as a psycho that took things way to far. I don't defend her killing them, but can understand how everything ended up playing out as it did. I can also understand why some people think she deserves to be paroled and others do not. This relationship was a toxic mess and she doesn't own her part in it.

On 8/15/2020 at 3:08 PM, fountain said:

I feel bad for the children involved, growing up in such a toxic environment.

They are truly victims in this case and it hurts me to see how people get angry at the kids for testifying in court, like they had some option to lie to defend her. They lost their father, too.

[oliviabenson]

Wait Betty had a new boyfriend?

[oliviabenson]

I hope the Broderick kids are all right. Betty is where she belongs!

[Paloma]

On 10/9/2022 at 3:39 PM, oliviabenson said:

Wait Betty had a new boyfriend?

I've seen a couple posters mention that, but I don't think there was any mention of it in the series. If true, it seems that it should be important enough to mention in the series.