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S01.E01: Meet Kody and the Wives!


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(edited)
31 minutes ago, Pickleinthemiddle said:

You know darn good and well that her parents were probably there taking care of the kids, that scene was just for the cameras.

Hmm, it's possible, but I forgot to add - after Robyn got everyone dressed and herded out the door, Dayton locked Robyn out of the van.  I about fell over laughing.

Edited by laurakaye
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3 hours ago, Kbo said:

Yes please, @laurakaye!  Would love to hear your reaction to the honeymoon episode 🙂. I rewatched it recently and it does not disappoint if you’re looking for snark!

I would term the Honeymoon Special as one of the five best SW episodes ever. 

Just seeing the three original recipe wives seethe for two weeks while Kody was cavorting with his skinny trophy wife on the beach in La Jolla (I'm pretty sure that's where they were most of the time) with that "just had sex" looks on both their mugs, to the point where Janelle passive-aggressively refused to talk to Kody for days on end, makes me wonder if the other three have ever actually been able to watch it. 

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(edited)

A few takeaways from the beginning of season 2: Browns Out of Hiding, Free-Range Browns and The Price of Polygamy (during which I mercifully fell asleep):

When the five Brown adults went on the Today Show to talk to Meredith Viera, Kody was naturally asked why he decided to live plural marriage (hence, why they were on tv in the first place) and he was completely speechless.  Like, I literally cringed and couldn't watch, even though he's a gigantic nincompoop who deserved to have his brain disconnect from his mouth on national television.  The Great Kody Brown, chest-pounder extraordinaire who can't go through the Burger King drive-thru without telling the cashier that he ordered 147 Whoppers because he's got FOUR WIVES and 38 kids, couldn't think of a thing to say.  On live tv.  To millions of people.  Hahahahaha!  Dork.

Meri likes to take pitchers.  Christine does not.  Riveting.

On a trip to visit Grandpa Winn at the ranch, gramps seemed to want nothing to do with the cameras, and except for a brief shot of him hugging a few random grandkids, was nowhere to be seen for the rest of the episode.  Interesting.

Quiz Time!  After Mykelti took a fall from a horse that she was specifically told by her uncle not to ride, Kody used the moments following her accident to doof-'splain to us that when a horse throws a person, it's very important to immediately - A: check on the person to make sure she's not seriously injured or - B. explain to the horse why it's bad to throw a human so the horse knows to never do it again.  You know what, I bet you all know the answer to this quiz.  You all get an A+ in Crap Kody Brown Says.  Congrats...I think.

Also, after being tossed from the back of that horse, Christine took Mykelti - who was in a significant amount of pain - not to the emergency room, or an urgent care facility - but to a chiropractor.  Because......reasons.  Plyg reasons?  Who knows.

I forget which episode it was (they all blend together) when the entire Brown brood treks out to a pumpkin patch to get pumpkins for Halloween.  They purchase 27 pumpkins, one for each person.  Several kids are confused, and comment to each other - "don't we only have 24 people in our family?"  Well, sure, but when TLC is picking up the check, why not spend $387.98 on pumpkins that you are going to carve, display for one day, and then let rot in the front yard until spring?  It's basically free money, right?

During an older kids couch sesh, Maddie and Mykelti comment on how Robyn's girls, especially Brianna, cry a LOT (Aurora must've taken longer to train).  Like, if you even look at Brianna wrong she'll cry, and the older girls think it's ridiculous.  The lone voice of reason in this entire family - Logan - points out that while this may be true, it's teaching them all to be a little more patient.  Every Brown adult should give never-ending thanks to this 15-year old man-child who is the singular voice of reason in every interview he gives.  To say that he is more mature than Kody is like saying the sun is a little bit hotter than the moon.  It's jarring how wise Logan is.  I definitely noticed it the first time around but it's interesting to watch again, and it makes me so happy that he's seemed to have permanently bounced from his full-time parenting gig.

Kody and Janelle go camping for their anniversary (or Janelle's birthday - I don't know, I was barely awake).  Kody wants to purchase brand-new sleeping bags for their overnight trip.  Janelle yanks the dingy quilt off her bed and is all, "we can use this, we don't need to spend money."  I think this may have been when we collectively started thinking of Janelle as "the smart one."  Not sure if she was actually smart, or she just appeared that way in contrast to Kody's blatant raging stupidity.  They camp.  To no one's surprise, Kody can't get the tent up.  Kody randomly mentions that Janelle never kisses him.  Janelle, in a rare and enlightening glimpse into the past, tells us that because Meri was literally all over Kody, constantly smothering him with some good orange lovin', Janelle took the opposite tack and basically never touched him (except for - clearly - every third night, based on her large brood of plyglets).  Fascinating stuff.  I fell asleep when Robyn started talking about proving her worth to the fam'ly or something.  Might catch up tomorrow, we'll see.

Of note: Robyn's first intro blurb was "The wives all work together.  I want to be a part of that team."  What she certainly meant was, "I want to be President, CEO and HBIC of that team.  And I will.  Keep watching."

Thank you for endulging me.  This is turning into some bizarre form of writing therapy for me. 🙂

 

Edited by laurakaye
  • Love 24
1 hour ago, laurakaye said:

Kody and Janelle go camping for their anniversary (or Janelle's birthday - I don't know, I was barely awake).  Kody wants to purchase brand-new sleeping bags for their overnight trip.  Janelle yanks the dingy quilt off her bed and is all, "we can use this, we don't need to spend money."  I think this may have been when we collectively started thinking of Janelle as "the smart one."  Not sure if she was actually smart, or she just appeared that way in contrast to Kody's blatant raging stupidity.  They camp.  To no one's surprise, Kody can't get the tent up.  Kody randomly mentions that Janelle never kisses him.  Janelle, in a rare and enlightening glimpse into the past, tells us that because Meri was literally all over Kody, constantly smothering him with some good orange lovin', Janelle took the opposite tack and basically never touched him (except for - clearly - every third night, based on her large brood of plyglets).  Fascinating stuff. 

Of note: Robyn's first intro blurb was "The wives all work together.  I want to be a part of that team."  What she certainly meant was, "I want to be President, CEO and HBIC of that team.  And I will.  Keep watching."

 🙂

I love camping.  LOVE IT.  I laughed at that scene.  How obvious that Kody either doesn't camp or when they do....he does nothing to help. On a more recent episode I remember Janelle saying that it took MANY YEARS of her marriage to come to the realization that if she doesn't physically kiss, hug and paw all over Kody....he doesn't think that she loves him.  And that she had to start hugging and kissing him, so he feels loved. 🙄...years... I guess that fits in with her statement that it takes five, no....ten...no....fifteen....twenty years of polygamy marriage to discover all the "blessings" it offers.

I always took Robyn's original catch phrase to mean "The wives all work together, I want them to all work for MY needs!"

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28 minutes ago, Roslyn said:

I always took Robyn's original catch phrase to mean "The wives all work together, I want them to all work for MY needs!"

Ha!  This is probably true.  I thought her original blurb was too way too altruistic, considering that she was already hatching the plot of her impending Queendom before the show even aired.

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On 6/15/2020 at 6:09 PM, DakotaJustice said:

I would term the Honeymoon Special as one of the five best SW episodes ever. 

Just seeing the three original recipe wives seethe for two weeks while Kody was cavorting with his skinny trophy wife on the beach in La Jolla (I'm pretty sure that's where they were most of the time) with that "just had sex" looks on both their mugs, to the point where Janelle passive-aggressively refused to talk to Kody for days on end, makes me wonder if the other three have ever actually been able to watch it. 

I really believe Janelle was so mad, because she never went on a really nice trip like Meri and Christine had (eventually).  Being the frugal wife and trying to make sure there was enough money to support everyone, she would forego spending money on something that would not be considered necessary.  

Of course taking the new skinny wife on a 2 week trip generated viewers.

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1 hour ago, Pickleinthemiddle said:

I really believe Janelle was so mad, because she never went on a really nice trip like Meri and Christine had (eventually).  Being the frugal wife and trying to make sure there was enough money to support everyone, she would forego spending money on something that would not be considered necessary.  

Of course taking the new skinny wife on a 2 week trip generated viewers.

I'm sure that was one of the reasons. But Janelle has always been passive aggressively frugal "oh I don't want a vacation to Mexico, I'll just settle for a night in a broken tent on the side of the road." Kody likes me more because I'm not a burden on him. 

But seeing Kody head over heels in love/hot lust with Robyn - which she never had with him - probably just pushed her over the edge. TLC was paying for the honeymoon so she couldn't say that he was spending money they didn't have.  She saw Robyn getting what she wanted but could never have - Kody's true love. Or lust.

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Oh yes. The honeymoon episode!!  It was a real eye opener and possibly the one and only time that the OG wives may have been really real on camera.  After that they mummed up about so many things or only spoke the "family brand theme" of the joys of polygamy. Don't forget that all those struggles are actually a blessing, because polygamy only brings joy >>insert Stepford wife smile with dead eyes<<

If you look really really close after Meri turned orange she still gets those red blotches on her neck.  I have wondered over the years if after she saw herself glowing red on screen she went orange to attempt to cover it up.

Another poignant moment was Paedon getting into Aurora's face when she "stole his chair" at fireside while Logan was tending the burgers. Christine has mentioned how she found it funny that Paedon bullied Robyn's kids and looked at it as acceptance.  ""Aww...he is treating them just like his real siblings!!"" but seeing him leaning over her with his finger almost touching her nose while growling (and Logan not acting like it wasn't normal) always unsettled me.  I believe he was the one poking Brianna in the eye and getting catchback (only caught on audio) from Kody during one of the families trips to picnic. Paedon was a bully to Dayton at some point before Christine put it to him point blank that his treatment could make Dayton leave to return to his father (not sure if that was a real possibility or an on camera one). And she refused to leave Gwen at home during a family outing to see Hunter win State Champs because Gwen would be alone with Paedon and that wasn't allowed....Yet years later Christine calls Paedon her darling, sweet, kindest child.  😐 He may have matured well (we hope) but he wasn't a kind child based on some things caught on camera.

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18 hours ago, Roslyn said:

Yet years later Christine calls Paedon her darling, sweet, kindest child.  😐 He may have matured well (we hope) but he wasn't a kind child based on some things caught on camera.

Of all Kody's kids, Paedon might've drawn the shortest straw.  He was in a house full of women - a house I believe Kody probably endured visiting rather than enjoyed because of all the females clamoring for his attention.  Christine had to turn her garage into a wrestling ring in order to draw Kody over to her house.  Most likely the only attention Paedon got from dad was Kody wanting to pound his chest and wrestle his sons, so it doesn't surprise me that Paedon in turn pushed his weight around on his smaller siblings.  But on a much later season, Paedon was also one of the lone voices against attending the plyg protest in Utah.  Kody wanted his entire brood to go to show support, and Paedon was like - "nope, I'm good."  I remember Christine trying to goad him into going but he refused, and I thought - good for him.

Paedon is huge now - he's got to be at least 6'5".  So what I would love to see is Paedon maybe saying to Kody, "hey dad, remember when you always wanted to pin me to the ground when I was 12?  Why don't we go ahead and do that now?"  Kody would wet himself.

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(edited)

In season 2, episode 6, we get to see the Browns take a fam'ly vacay to a lovely cabin in the woods, set high on a hill and covered with freshly-fallen snow, to celebrate Christmas.  Sounds fun, right?  Only if you're not related to Kody Brown, maybe.

Now here - in no particular order - were the impediments to taking the fam'ly to this remote cabin in the woods to celebrate Christmas:

They needed 6 cars to transport all the people, the suitcases, the food, the Christmas presents, the Christmas decorations, and the Christmas tree (which naturally begs the question - why not just stay home?)......they left four hours later than planned (shocker), knowing that to do so would mean that they'd be driving in the dark and also in a snowstorm, and two of the drivers were their inexperienced teen-aged kids transporting their younger siblings.....the only vehicles that could make it up the ice-covered hill to the cabin were cars that had four-wheel drive (so, a grand total of one vehicle).....Kody had to take his SUV up and down the hill about 14 times to load it with crap, drive it back up the slippery hill to the cabin (fishtailing all the way) and then back down to re-load......Kody made his kids grab however much crap they could carry to hike on up the icy hill to the cabin, causing nearly everyone to slip and nearly fall multiple times......upon delivery of the metric tons of Brown crap, the interior of the cabin looked like an episode of "Extreme Hoarders".......the Brown adults belatedly realized that the cabin they rented may in fact be too small for their fam'ly......and Kody announced, sometime around midnight, that there was some dude waiting at the rental lodge for him to come and get some snowmobiles that he was supposed to pick up six hours ago.

And they only stayed for four days.

These people.

Edited by laurakaye
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On 6/22/2020 at 8:09 AM, laurakaye said:

 

On 6/23/2020 at 6:01 AM, laurakaye said:

 

 

On 6/22/2020 at 11:20 AM, Roslyn said:

Oh yes. The honeymoon episode!!  It was a real eye opener and possibly the one and only time that the OG wives may have been really real on camera.  After that they mummed up about so many things or only spoke the "family brand theme" of the joys of polygamy. Don't forget that all those struggles are actually a blessing, because polygamy only brings joy >>insert Stepford wife smile with dead eyes<<

 

Another poignant moment was Paedon getting into Aurora's face when she "stole his chair" at fireside while Logan was tending the burgers. Christine has mentioned how she found it funny that Paedon bullied Robyn's kids and looked at it as acceptance.  ""Aww...he is treating them just like his real siblings!!"" but seeing him leaning over her with his finger almost touching her nose while growling (and Logan not acting like it wasn't normal) always unsettled me.  I believe he was the one poking Brianna in the eye and getting catchback (only caught on audio) from Kody during one of the families trips to picnic. Paedon was a bully to Dayton at some point before Christine put it to him point blank that his treatment could make Dayton leave to return to his father (not sure if that was a real possibility or an on camera one). And she refused to leave Gwen at home during a family outing to see Hunter win State Champs because Gwen would be alone with Paedon and that wasn't allowed....Yet years later Christine calls Paedon her darling, sweet, kindest child.  😐 He may have matured well (we hope) but he wasn't a kind child based on some things caught on camera.

This one was worth the re-watch!

Fast forward to season 14 and Aurora now has crippling anxiety. Tell us again how this life style make each of us better.  

As an extreme introvert, it's my idea of hell.

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Just watched the ep where Kody informs his younger kids that they are moving in three days, and oh - also - "you can't tell anyone.  Sorry, but if you even so much as say goodbye to your best friend, Daddy might go to jell, so - the burden of my freedom rests on your small, young shoulders.  Also we don't have a place to move into just yet.  And you can't bring all your toys.  Any questions?"

I wasn't going to rewatch this one because it still makes me absolutely furious, but I was struggling with level 657 on Candy Crush so my eyes wandered over to the tv a few times......

Did you know that back when they were looking for homes in Vegas, Robyn believed that God would provide them with four lovely homes right next to each other?  So her disconnecting from reality and presuming that she rilly doesn't actually have to DO anything about anything goes way back.  Also I hate that she was sort of right this time.

During the fam'ly meeting where Kody drops his bombshell on his unsuspecting younger kids, the older kids already knew what was coming.  I hated myself for blinking away a tear or two when, after the kids get the news, Mariah starts sobbing and a young Ysabel, having just heard the news herself, immediately gives Mariah a hug, which I found very sweet.

However, then our beloved Snowflake unfolds a piece of college-ruled paper covered in writing and proceeds to list the reasons why she cannot move with the rest of the family.  Her reasons include an upcoming dance.  Note that this is in the midst of the meeting where most of the Brownies are trying to grasp the fact that they have three days to pack their toys and NOT say goodbye to their friends.  But hey!  Let's all sit here and listen to Mariah explain why she's not going!  (spoiler: she's totally going).

Ugh, this episode.  I hate it so much.  Between this one and the next, where they toss all their crap in a U-Haul while a fire truck passes by, siren activated, on the way to NOT the Brown's house - it's the worst of the worst.  I'm only continuing because I want to re-watch the Saga of the Wet Bar.

 

 

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4 hours ago, laurakaye said:

Just watched the ep where Kody informs his younger kids that they are moving in three days, and oh - also - "you can't tell anyone.  Sorry, but if you even so much as say goodbye to your best friend, Daddy might go to jell, so - the burden of my freedom rests on your small, young shoulders.  Also we don't have a place to move into just yet.  And you can't bring all your toys.  Any questions?"

I wasn't going to rewatch this one because it still makes me absolutely furious, but I was struggling with level 657 on Candy Crush so my eyes wandered over to the tv a few times......

Did you know that back when they were looking for homes in Vegas, Robyn believed that God would provide them with four lovely homes right next to each other?  So her disconnecting from reality and presuming that she rilly doesn't actually have to DO anything about anything goes way back.  Also I hate that she was sort of right this time.

During the fam'ly meeting where Kody drops his bombshell on his unsuspecting younger kids, the older kids already knew what was coming.  I hated myself for blinking away a tear or two when, after the kids get the news, Mariah starts sobbing and a young Ysabel, having just heard the news herself, immediately gives Mariah a hug, which I found very sweet.

However, then our beloved Snowflake unfolds a piece of college-ruled paper covered in writing and proceeds to list the reasons why she cannot move with the rest of the family.  Her reasons include an upcoming dance.  Note that this is in the midst of the meeting where most of the Brownies are trying to grasp the fact that they have three days to pack their toys and NOT say goodbye to their friends.  But hey!  Let's all sit here and listen to Mariah explain why she's not going!  (spoiler: she's totally going).

Ugh, this episode.  I hate it so much.  Between this one and the next, where they toss all their crap in a U-Haul while a fire truck passes by, siren activated, on the way to NOT the Brown's house - it's the worst of the worst.  I'm only continuing because I want to re-watch the Saga of the Wet Bar.

 

 

I like the one where they actually leave.  They have several flat tires and because they left so late most of the stores are closed.  They try jeryrigging the tires because of course they don't have enough spares.  Then BANG.  The brain trust that is Brown family noticed a motel on the next exit.  When they show the tires they are bald, bald, bald.  Much pissing and moaning is involved.  Prime Brown logic at it's finest.

 

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2 hours ago, Mahamid Frauded Me said:

thank you @laurakaye Love your recaps - I am now going to brew me a nice cup of coffee ( if I had Bailey's that would be in it too) and watch the camping episode

Oh gosh, that's one of my all-time faves.  That, and the dress fitting for the commitment ceremony.  And maybe the one where Robyn tells the children how she lost her cookie.  OH and "The Portrait."

Crap, now I'm sort of looking forward to rewatching again.

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5 hours ago, laurakaye said:

Oh gosh, that's one of my all-time faves.  That, and the dress fitting for the commitment ceremony.  And maybe the one where Robyn tells the children how she lost her cookie.  OH and "The Portrait."

Crap, now I'm sort of looking forward to rewatching again.

Don't forget to rewatch the Poop Storm, my all time favorite.  I will always believe the boys tinkered with the valves on the RV and set it up for Kody to step in and officiously take over the job of emptying the waste tanks.

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57 minutes ago, Sandy W said:

Don't forget to rewatch the Poop Storm, my all time favorite.  I will always believe the boys tinkered with the valves on the RV and set it up for Kody to step in and officiously take over the job of emptying the waste tanks.

It's my favorite, too.  Not only did Kootie get splattered with shit, Robyn freaked out and I'm sure said somethingk like 'I don't give a shit' when she stepped outside of the RV and saw it was snowing.  How's all the snow treatin' ya in Flag, Robyn?  And the TREES, that you were so scared of, now that you got your way, and uprooted the whole fambly, and sleep till noon in your nearly one million dollar abode?

 

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I watched the episode in the cabin and LauraKaye was correct when she detailed how the cabin could have been in an episode of hoarders. Interestingly enough, in one of the episodes after that, Meri, Robyn and Kody all go to scope out Vegas and we get a snippet of Robyn's father who happens to live in Vegas...so now I am more convinced that it was Robyn all along that had them move not only to Flag but also to Vegas. I also noticed that Robyn started putting the seed in the sisterwives ear about if something were to happen to her, the kids would go to their biological dad ...she is a master manipulator for sure

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6 minutes ago, Mahamid Frauded Me said:

I watched the episode in the cabin and LauraKaye was correct when she detailed how the cabin could have been in an episode of hoarders. Interestingly enough, in one of the episodes after that, Meri, Robyn and Kody all go to scope out Vegas and we get a snippet of Robyn's father who happens to live in Vegas...so now I am more convinced that it was Robyn all along that had them move not only to Flag but also to Vegas. I also noticed that Robyn started putting the seed in the sisterwives ear about if something were to happen to her, the kids would go to their biological dad ...she is a master manipulator for sure

And the next time we see Robyn's dad is with a video camera between Robyn's legs birthin' King Sol.  Good times.

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54 minutes ago, toodles said:

And the next time we see Robyn's dad is with a video camera between Robyn's legs birthin' King Sol.  Good times.

That was disturbing, to say the least.  He was also there when Areola made her debut.  I think that's a sick thingk.  I sure as hell wouldn't have allowed it.

Yep, what Robyn wants, Robyn gets.  

1 hour ago, Mahamid Frauded Me said:

I watched the episode in the cabin and LauraKaye was correct when she detailed how the cabin could have been in an episode of hoarders. Interestingly enough, in one of the episodes after that, Meri, Robyn and Kody all go to scope out Vegas and we get a snippet of Robyn's father who happens to live in Vegas...so now I am more convinced that it was Robyn all along that had them move not only to Flag but also to Vegas. I also noticed that Robyn started putting the seed in the sisterwives ear about if something were to happen to her, the kids would go to their biological dad ...she is a master manipulator for sure

Oh, she could write another 'NY Times Bestseller' on how to manipulate and get one's way.

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