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Getting to Genoa You All Over Again: Y&R Daily Chat


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(edited)

Working with Family, that's the dream, right?  Because it looks like SUCH fun, not to  mention such an emotionally healthy life choice.

They all - Newmans, Chancellor-Winterites, Abbotts, Sharon and her multiple personalities, all of them seem to be having such a good time!

Judge Judy No GIF by Agent M Loves Gifs

It looks like Nate, once again, forgot to read the employee handbook.  You know, the part where Devon gets to tell him who to be friends with and who to date.  Seems that, according to Devon, those sorts of things need to be approved by the "family".  I must have missed that episode where the "family" approved of him boinking Abby behind their respective partners backs.

Devon either doesn't realize the depth of his hypocrisy or he really enjoys the view from that glass house he lives in.

Speaking of glass houses, ButtBiscuit better be careful the way he noses around Adam and Chelsea's private business about their son because he's likely to break something with that giant probosicus he keeps sticking where it doesn't belong.

Adam has done some pretty horrific things but so has that play dough Madonna Chelsea thinks she's crafted herself into.  Connor comes by his dysfunction quite clearly, and his father's no more guilty than than that aardvark-loving mother of his and her flat-assed, nasally inhanced, undertaker inpersonater of a boyfriend.

I felt bad for that waiter in Paris.  Traci and Ashley have taken up a table for going on two straight days by now and they still haven't finished that plate of crudites.  

GOD it's good to have you all and this site back!

Edited by boes
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From during the break:

1/31, Wednesday
Yeah, something about the schmoopiness between Diane and Jack annoys me too. Especially since it's currently at Kyle's expense.

Oh noes, now Nikki has to run Newman Media without a COO, and while she's struggling with her sobriety! The Newmans are ridiculous when they act like Nikki is making a great sacrifice. She doesn't have to work, and could easily leave and go to rehab for her drinking.

So Miss Audra thinks she's working Tucker but he's actually working her. Double double-cross. Ow, my head.

Wow, Diane was getting territorial with her own son about her co-CEO promotion. Having his mommy's foot on his neck must be maddening for Kyle, and Diane remains completely oblivious.

Nate was giving Audra good advice about not trying to outfox Tucker. She better listen to Nate because she's probably walking into a Tucker-sized trap.

Didn't know what to make of Victor telling Nick he was concerned about Nick's lack of a romantic life. Guess Adam hasn't informed Victor that Sharon & Nick are fate. 🙄

I know Cole is the master of being unbothered but his lack of concern about Jordan having possibly escaped confinement was super odd to me.

Here comes the February sweeps, and more of psycho Jordan's reign of terror. 🤮

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11 hours ago, boes said:

It looks like Nate, once again, forgot to read the employee handbook.  You know, the part where Devon gets to tell him who to be friends with and who to date.  Seems that, according to Devon, those sorts of things need to be approved by the "family".  I must have missed that episode where the "family" approved of him boinking Abby behind their respective partners backs.

Devon either doesn't realize the depth of his hypocrisy or he really enjoys the view from that glass house he lives in.

Devon is often the poster boy for hypocrisy.  No doubt about that!

So it's surprising to me that I'm "kinda' seeing his POV in his comments to Nate about Audra.  Nate has a proven track record of being suspectible to beautiful, ambitious women - women who validated and encouraged his ambition and "intoxicating" love of power. (Intoxicating is Nate's own word).  Imani who was the first on the scene and then Victoria who validated and promoted his family betrayal.

With Nate's history, I can see those working with him now questioning if Audra can exert a similar influence. 

However, for me, the image of Lily giving this warning would have been more acceptable.  After all, she had already pointed out to Nate the negative influence Victoria had on him versus the positive  affect that Elena had once provided.  She is aware of how he can led in a damaging direction. 

 

 

 

 

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14 hours ago, Joimiaroxeu said:

Sharon having CFT zoom meetings at night, from the coffeehouse. Even allowing for her having staff in other timezones, why was she not conducting business from her corporate office?

I'm so confused.  So the bad guy who had been in prison (apparently off and on) left a viable company to Sharon.  Doesn't that mean the company already has corporate offices in somewhere?  Also a functioning company with CEO and COO and CFO and all that good stuff?  And what has the company been doing during the time Sharon has been brokering mergers with Nick and Adam and then going solo and NOW partnering with CW? (Off shore money laundering?)  WTF does this company do anyhow?  I can't believe that Sharon is running it from her laptop.  Both my daughters-in-law telecommute, but they have to meet at the physical offices at times.  Some things can't be done over zoom.  So where is Sharon's company based?

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(edited)
15 minutes ago, MollyB said:

 I can't believe that Sharon is running it from her laptop.  Both my daughters-in-law telecommute, but they have to meet at the physical offices at times.  Some things can't be done over zoom.  So where is Sharon's company based?

I think Sharon's company is safely ensconced somewhere in Ooompa Loompa Land. 

She's not the corporate whiz Show keeps trying to tell us she is, since she put Esther in charge of running the coffee shop.  Esther isn't competent to run a roomba.

1 minute ago, boes said:

 

 

Edited by boes
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2 hours ago, boes said:

I think Sharon's company is safely ensconced somewhere in Ooompa Loompa Land. 

 

Yes, Ooompa Loompa Land.  Or Oz - with Victor the Great and Powerful running things. 

Sweet Jesus, I wish Nikki would go on am embarrassing, public bender; probably the only way to get her into rehab and off my screen every single day. I am sick to death of her; and her husband, family, friends, etc. ....doing nothing but enabling her.

And then Nick today ... condescendingly congratulating Adam on recognizing the error of his ways and trying to do better.  Suck on it you greasy, angry-looking putz. The thing is, the actor is handsome and truly likable in real life. I guess it is his Emmy-winning "ackting" that makes him so believable. 

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(edited)

Oh my God, why oh why did Adam have to grovel and award Nick the Father of The  Century status? Can't Adam ever get cut a break and can't Nick get the short end of the stick for once?

Once famous singer turned spoke model is now managing the daytime crowd at a restaurant? Looks like someone has come.down in the world.  

I loved Nikki drunk texting although it wasn't much different than my sober texting.

Re: Sharon using CL for business.  For crying out loud, even many people who work from home have a semi professional home office. Before I retired during Covid, all of the CEOs had very nice home offices. People like me had home offices with all of the requisite ammenities. Then there were those who were set up in their bedroom and you could see a toilet in the background. My point being that at the very least Sharon should have a PRIVATE home office that has office type furniture and supplies, not muffins and coffee machines and Howdy Doody  in the background.

Edited by MsMalin
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6 minutes ago, Js Nana said:

"Oh, schmoopiepoopiepoo, your shit smells like roses and your farts are the music of the angels!"

Your exercise for today, boys and girls, is to visualize the various settings, public or private, where Jack would say that to Diane.

6 hours ago, Joimiaroxeu said:

She doesn't have to work

How many times has Nikki been shown actually doing some work - my guess is that she is nothing more than a figurehead CEO, while it's her "on-the-job 24/7, never have time for a break" underlings who actually keep Newman Media afloat.

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18 hours ago, boes said:

Devon either doesn't realize the depth of his hypocrisy or he really enjoys the view from that glass house he lives in.

@boes You knows I loves ya, but I have to concur with @Aurora2 on this one, strange as it is to write that I agree with Darvon!

7 hours ago, Aurora2 said:

Devon is often the poster boy for hypocrisy.  No doubt about that!

So it's surprising to me that I'm "kinda' seeing his POV in his comments to Nate about Audra.  Nate has a proven track record of being suspectible to beautiful, ambitious women - women who validated and encouraged his ambition and "intoxicating" love of power. (Intoxicating is Nate's own word).  Imani who was the first on the scene and then Victoria who validated and promoted his family betrayal.

With Nate's history, I can see those working with him now questioning if Audra can exert a similar influence. 

And regarding Audra and Fucker:

7 hours ago, Joimiaroxeu said:

So Miss Audra thinks she's working Tucker but he's actually working her. Double double-cross. Ow, my head.

Can someone here please riddle me this? We have been led to believe that Audra has been in cahoots, working with Tucker for years now. YEARS people! You mean to tell me in all that time, she has not amassed enough money to quit this bitch and buy her own island somewhere, or at least a nice townhouse in, say, NYC, London, or Paris? Come the fuck ON writers! Has she been paid in stale, leftover dick all these years or does she actually ever get a paycheck for her efforts? This entire story line is so stupid, I just can't anymore. Why O Why can't we have nice things on this show?

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Victor: I've been informed, evidence suggests that Jordan did not survive the fire at the prison.
Victoria: so she's dead?
The World: well yes, Vikki, that's usually what not surviving means. Gah, these dumb Newmans.

Now Victor is having Nikki followed without her knowledge. If it weren't for the Jordan situation I'd be majorly annoyed by that. Even Nikki, a growna$$ woman, is entitled to her privacy

Whaaaatttt? Why would someone in Lauren's social, financial, and professional position agree to work as a glorified assistant, even temporarily? You're goofy, Jack.

Cole's voice seemed weird today to me, like he had marbles in his mouth and throat. Hope JEP's okay. He's usually so crisp and precise in his speech.

Whoa, TGVN rolling up on a dive bar. Back in the day Victor would've thrown his fists at that busboy instead handing him a fist full of dollars.

Adam baring his soul to Nick of all people about his relationship with Connor. Wow. Has Adam been replaced by alien body-snatchers?  

Yeah, Nick, all your kids have made huge mistakes, like when Christian let Connor lock him in the garage. Seriously, why did Nick and Adam not bring up Christian when they were commiserating about the trials of being a parent?

Claire was looking bright-eyed for a change. I like that her recovery from decades of Jordan's abuse isn't being rushed.

Nikki must not wear a distinctive "rich lady" perfume. Victor was within inches of where she was hiding in the dive bar and he didn't even detect her presence. Hmm.

JG sure is mixing things up all of a sudden: Abby to join Devon at C/W; Lauren to temp at Newman Media; and, Tessa to run Society. Maybe Phyllis could become a GCAC bellhop. 😏

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How many executives answer their office phone personally?  If NM therefore NE was a major international company, there would someone to take all land line calls. Cell phones is a different story. 

If Audre was fired because she became too involved making Nikki feel judged then why would Nikki accept Lauren?  Lauren would be more apt to be judgement and keep a closer eye on Nikki. 

Unless Marchetti not a usual fashion house, there would be lines for all seasons. Once one season line is done, the next season is already in progress. So I don’t understand why as Marchetti’s model, Tessa constantly will not be busy.  

How stupid is this that Nikki is hiding from Victor. I guess she doesn’t realize or too drunk to realize that she can’t hide from Victor’s security team.  

Claire took the news about Auntie Jordan in stride and even suggested that Auntie Jordan was the one to set the fire to create a diversion. Very plausible. 

Adam and Banana Breath🦍🦍🦍🦍, brother bonding is a wonderful thing 😍; but Adam you went to far by praising Banana Breath🦍🦍🦍🦍 as a good father.  

Someone should tell Victoria not to wear her hair pulled back. It brings to much attention to her bushy eyebrows. 

 

 

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Quote

Doesn't that mean the company already has corporate offices in somewhere? 

Quote

So where is Sharon's company based?

Kirsten Incorporated existed in the ether apparently but Sharon has her corporate offices in GC. At one point she mentioned having acquired office space but the audience has never seen it. Meanwhile, the company has satellite sites all over the world and Sharon has meetings with the KI staff via group video calls. The company seems to have something to do with IT, providing enterprise software and support services. Sharon has also spoken about having to learn the tech lingo.

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Dear Readers;

I must apologize for the lack of Genoa City Blowhole in your lives these past few days. The cause was definitely Phyllis Summers hacking us because no one is paying her any attention or Daniel Romalotti infecting our servers by surfing nun porn on the company dime AND sites loaded with malware. Definitely one of those two and not me forgetting to pay a bill.

Naturally, most of the emails I received during this timeout concerned the beloved Dear Buttbiscuit column. You weirdos just can’t function without my sage advice. I wish you could have read the magnificent, emotionally charged prose I had poured my heart, soul and nostrils into, but backing up your laptop with extra cloud storage costs money that could be better spent upholstering my girlfriend like a roller disco fanatic’s recliner. Priorities, people.

I suppose I could offer up a tantalizing taste of my lost-to-the-ages wit. Never have my fingers danced with such grace and fury across the keys, tapping out a concerto of compassion the likes of which Genoa City had never seen. Using airtight logic and a half bottle of Patron Silver, I made the definitive case for parenting someone else’s child. I then delivered a master class in persuasive rhetoric that would make Socrates look like a piker, all in service of parting a softhearted dope from his vodka-soaked dingleberry. If you have to help someone in secret, there’s fuckery afoot, I always say.

Oh, the beautiful wisdom I could have gifted the world with! I discovered the dark, icy heart of the dysfunction plaguing Genoa City’s most infamous and idiotic family. Minds would be blown like Nick Newman’s prick in a room full of vacuum cleaners (ask anyone about the dustbuster dildo incident of ‘12. Better yet, don’t). Unfortunately I accidentally inhaled three ounces of Nyquil and took a five hour nap, waking up with a foggy noggin’ and no memory of this brilliant epiphany. Shit happens, right? Still, I was able to sift two people’s opposing memories of the same incident through the truth filter in my mind, leaving only pure, uncut truth. Who was right? Who was wrong? Who cares?

Like any super sexy, beefcake firefighter, I put out a number of little romantic fires with my hose of common sense. I took great joy in writing a detailed, meticulous expose on two faithless bags of burnt popcorn who fucked around behind the back of the man’s girlfriend and proceeded to act like it was all romantic and star-crossed and shit. Even I didn’t cheat on this woman and I’m the biggest dirtbag I know. This poor gal spent years as a cow-tipping vampire’s thrall and deserves better. Losing the digital receipts provides only a temporary reprieve, asshats, so prepare to find out.

I guess the best course of action is to start fresh, tackling new questions and dilemmas. Please, send those emails chock full of nonsense that you should be profoundly embarrassed by, and I’ll get around to them. Newmans, stop fucking writing me and asking where this “Jordan” person is. I’m an advice columnist, not Columbo. Hire some real security instead of the three goats in a trench coat you have roaming the grounds. And, folks, remember the Dear Buttbiscuit motto: It’s either my column or Sharon Newman; pick your poison.

Signed

Buttbiscuit

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From during the break:

2/1, Thursday
Nikki literally fell into Jack's arms. Clichés gonna cliché.

Ehh, Tucker. I think rubbing it in via Ashley's voicemail about the Paris bistro spat was unnecessary and a bit cruel.

Nikki drunk again. Yawn. But at least she assured Jack she's using a rideshare service to get around instead of driving herself.

Lucy listening at the doorway to Heather and Daniel trying to define their rekindled relationship in Lily's absence. Grrr. I really need for that brat to stay out of grown folks business. And for the adults to stop making it so easy for her not to.

Wah, wah, Heather. You can't always get what you want, when you want it. At least Daniel has a tiny bit of decency wrt Lily.

Traci, stop standing there watching Ashley have a public meltdown. Help her, for goodness sake.

Lol, the green-screened Paris street behind Ashley was laughable. TPTB are straight up blowing raspberries at us now.

Buh, buh, buh, busted, Jack! Caught in the act of providing support to Nikki by Victor. DUN, DUN, DUUUUNNNNN!!!!

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(edited)

It makes perfect sense for Lauren, the woman who owns and runs Fenmores, to step away for a bit so she can get Nikki her coffee with a twist and makes sure she doesn't scrape her upturned nose on the ceiling whenever she's forced to interact with the unwashed masses.  Perfect sense.

It also makes perfect sense that Abby is going to get a seat on the board at Chancellor Termite and Girdle Control Inc. and, as she said, spend all day, every day there, which apparently she thinks board members do.  Instead of attending meeting and the occasional briefing and then going back to their actual lives.  Jill, of course, apparently approves of this, approves of Devon bringing onboard the woman who betrayed her grandson when they were married.

Yep, makes perfect sense.

Tessa, singer and model extraordinare, is now going to spend her days singing the menus to diners at Society while modeling the latest Marchetti schmattas.  Again, TOTALLY logical career move.  Every singer in the world has been dying to say "Want fries with that"?

Mr. Mumbles and his crack security team track Nikki down to the nearest White Castle and instead of actually looking around for her, Count Chocula departs for a tete a tete with Jack.  A B C, it's so elementary.

My only problem with Adam singing Nick's praises as a the greatest DOD to ever DOD is that he didn't set it to a disco beat.  Because nothing says "great Dad" like the guy who teaches his kids how to make a Christmas wreath out of his boogers.

Mr. Griffith's writing continues to astound.

Edited by boes
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I don't know if last week was a hotter mess than usual or that was just a side effect of not being able to see the show picked apart here. Either way, I couldn't be happier that's it's over! 

Last week: Adura really thought she was gonna be able to ass kiss the sanctimonious bitch right out of Nikki? Lmaooo but seriously of all the things to let her go for Nikki decided Adura's sympathy was a good enough reason, and not you know....fucking her granddaughter's husband before the divorce papers even got drawn up? Like obviously most don't care about Summer's fee fees getting hurt but the girl's own grandmother should be a different story.

This week: I too also found myself (begrudgingly & shamefully) agreeing with Devon about Adura. Nate has proven hard-headed & arrogant. And if he's fully convinced that Adura needs saving from Tucker or she somehow gets her way & invites Nate onto Glade(or whatever the fuck stupid company for the stupid plot #73 is named) I can totally see him pissing everything away he complained so much, & so hard to get back over Adura, just like he did with Victoria. The man has learned nothing. 

I'm under the impression a modest, middle management, "mind my business" life is nothing Adura is interested in. That's why she's still stuck under Tucker, she's either looking for a come up as quick as possible or she's stupid(or playing stupid??). It's probably a little of both. Either way like most of the business SLs on this show, it's boring, contrived and I'm over it.

I wonder if JG has someone read what we say here, and then intentionally mocks us with the writing. I'd say after over a year of throw something & hope it sticks corporate storylines, Tessa & Lauren leaving their own stable and better jobs to go work for characters that are leaving already sensible positions(Abby) or are in positions they aren't qualified for(Nikki) is the icing on the shitty cake but I know JG can, and will, do so much worse. 

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(edited)

I admit to bring unreasonably enraged by Jack expecting LAUREN, who owns and runs her own company, to agree to go be Nikki’s freaking assistant! 
If he’s so concerned why didn’t he volunteer? Or send his whiny son? Is it because Lauren’s job isn’t as important as a man’s job? 

It is an incredibly insulting proposition and I am sad that Lauren didn’t tell him to shove that plan up his a**

 

edit to add: and then the writers have her simper that she isn’t sure if she is qualified!! F OFF

 

Edited by lgprimes
Still ranting
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18 hours ago, surfgirl said:

she has not amassed enough money to quit this bitch

I imagine the cost of living at the GCAC (even with a membership) is pretty steep.  And I don't see anybody buying her dinner/lunch/breakfast in the high end dining room that often.

 

16 hours ago, Chatty Cake said:

the only thing I enjoyed about today was Nikki’s drunk text to Jack.

and it was fun right to the point that Lauren had to translate it (word forOMG word) for us textdummies.  Really?

 

13 hours ago, Stpauliegirl said:

Why would Nikki go to a dive bar?

Because apparently they still have the set of the bar that Catherine's sadface granddaughter owned and the place where Billy and Vic fell into each other.  Actually, it does make sense since she doesn't want to be seen by anyone she knows and there are only three other bars in GC.  She could go to the Top of the Towers (no need to drive!) since no one goes there anymore.

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Dear Mr. Romalotti, Let me offer you some advice; when your crazy ex-wife/stalker sits down next to you in a coffee shop and insists that you're in love with her, don't engage in a back-and-forth with her, just turn your back on her and walk out - of course doing that might lead to her plunging a knife in your back, or maybe just following you out the door while rubbing her crotch and screaming "You want this, Danny, you know you want this."

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8 minutes ago, Js Nana said:

Dear Mr. Romalotti, Let me offer you some advice; when your crazy ex-wife/stalker sits down next to you in a coffee shop and insists that you're in love with her, don't engage in a back-and-forth with her, just turn your back on her and walk out - of course doing that might lead to her plunging a knife in your back, or maybe just following you out the door while rubbing her crotch and screaming "You want this, Danny, you know you want this."

I wish there was a way we could check more emojis for a post. Because this one is Fire, Love, Like, Applaud and Laugh. Toss in Mindblown and Cry....just because.  This sums up everything that is Phyllis and the hapless, schmarmy Danny R.

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Hey y'all, did you know today (February 7) is Hug an Addict or Alcoholic Day?

Per the linked article:

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The day is dedicated to destigmatizing addiction and rehabilitation. Strangers and addicts get together to observe the day understanding how addiction can be cured. Many addicts suffer from stigma and alienation and this is worrisome since companionship and acceptance are important on their road to recovery. With correct resources and empathy, addicts can be free of alcohol and drug addiction, and find their footing after recovering.

Maybe Nikki just needs a hug or two. Preferably from someone other than the man who can't seem to call her by her name.

(FYI: I'm not in agreement with defining addiction as something that can be cured. I prefer to see recovery from addiction as continuing effort, probably for the rest of the addict's life.)

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Hey, it's sleezeball Danny. Grinning at Christine like he hadn't tried to play her for a fool. 🤬

Aw, Audra, you put your cooch to work for no reason. Tucker has not fallen back under its spell.

Nikki was so drunk she could barely speak or spell, but Jack expected her to text him a whole address. She can't even figure out how to block Unknown calls when she's sober.

Jack and Victor moved from Jabot over to NE to have their discussion about Nikki. Huh? Was there something wrong with Jack's office?

Apparently Ashley and Traci told their jet's pilot to keep the engine running. Utterly absurd that Traci flew to Paris and back to GC in less than 24 hours, simply to satisfy Ashley's whim.

Yikes. Danny might want to ease up on the spray tan or whatever was going on with his face and hands. That plus his shoe polished hair gave him a desperately-trying-to seem-younger look to me.

Tucker, sigh, you're running in circles. You can't keep trying different tactics to take on Jabot. The cosmetics business is Ashley's arena, not yours.

I was surprised Traci confirmed Tucker's version of the bistro spat.

So Jack and Victor were going to waste time arguing about Nikki while she was at the bar getting blackout drunk? WTH, especially since Victor knows Jordan might be on the loose nearby.

Shut up, Jack. Nikki's drinking may be a long-term project for you but she might not have months or years to get sober. I can't understand why rehab isn't considered an option.

OMG, Grandma Phyllis still doing her sultry siren routine even after Danny has told her to stop. She is pathetic. But Christine, hon, quit trying wrestle a pig. The pig likes it and you'll just get covered in slop.

"Gauntlet thrown." Over Danny, the walking, talking bundle of toasted dough? GMAFB. 🙄

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Danny: Oh hai Phyllis, how's it going? (Grins)

Phyllis: I love you too!

Danny: (grinning) Ha ha so funny. 

Christine:  Who do you choose?  Me or that she-devil who tricked you into marrying her and tried to kill me?

Danny: Hold it! That's no way to talk about the mother of my child.

Christine: He's not your child. She lied about that, remember? 

Danny storms off, grinning.

 

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It has gotten to the point of watching this show is embarrassing. 2 grown women fighting like teens over a washed up has been?  And he is all concerned about Phyllis? Please writers, I know a large part of the audience is older but do you think we are all senile and forget what a psycho she is?  Christine needs to walk away and just let Phyllis fuck his brains out. She will be bored within a week.

 

 

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4 hours ago, lgprimes said:

Why is Abby wearing one of Aria’s ribbons in her hair today? It looks ridiculous

She looked like a little girl. That makes me think it's creepy Devon's thing. 

Danny Romalotti must be hot stuff since he's been fought over by Lauren, Traci, Christine, and Phyllis. This is like Archie comics with a boring Betty and Veronica. I don't know if Veronica killed anybody though. He should just sign their Tiger Beat magazines and move on. 

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Kiss of the Spider Woman or should I say BlueFang🕷️ has done in Danny’s Chance with the Cricket.  I guess you can say Danny is into insects and arachnids. One can say that insects and arachnids are enemies by nature.  

Traci is home without Ashley and flew home by the company jet. So now the company jet has to fly back to Paris to pick up Ashley then fly back to GC. There goes $100,000 from the bottom line of Jabot. 

I’m sorry to say this but I’m all out 💩💩💩for Nikki’s drinking and Tucker vs Ashley.  Send thee to a rehab Nikki and Tucker vs Ashley it doesn’t really matter who’s right and who’s wrong. 

Did Tucker drop his pants in front of Traci?  Which means that Tucker dropped a lot of clues that he bribed the waiter and restaurant staff to lie for him. He could have bought the entire restaurant. Tucker could have known that Ashley and Traci went to restaurant to confront the staff  but tell me how Tucker knew that she didn’t get the answer she was looking for?  I don’t remember Ashley or Traci telling him that so he must have been told by one of the restaurant’s staff.  

Do you know what’s worse than BlueFang🕷️having a full screen closeup on my TV?  Nothing absolutely nothing!  

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2 hours ago, Joimiaroxeu said:

She can't even figure out how to block Unknown calls when she's sober.

I think the writers were hoping to slip that one by us when we weren't looking.

2 hours ago, Joimiaroxeu said:

Utterly absurd that Traci flew to Paris and back to GC in less than 24 hours, simply to satisfy Ashley's whim.

As F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote in The Great Gatsby, "Let me tell you about the very rich. They are different from you and me."

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21 hours ago, NinjaPenguins said:

Dear Readers;

I must apologize for the lack of Genoa City Blowhole in your lives these past few days. The cause was definitely Phyllis Summers hacking us because no one is paying her any attention or Daniel Romalotti infecting our servers by surfing nun porn on the company dime AND sites loaded with malware. Definitely one of those two and not me forgetting to pay a bill.

Naturally, most of the emails I received during this timeout concerned the beloved Dear Buttbiscuit column. You weirdos just can’t function without my sage advice. I wish you could have read the magnificent, emotionally charged prose I had poured my heart, soul and nostrils into, but backing up your laptop with extra cloud storage costs money that could be better spent upholstering my girlfriend like a roller disco fanatic’s recliner. Priorities, people.

I suppose I could offer up a tantalizing taste of my lost-to-the-ages wit. Never have my fingers danced with such grace and fury across the keys, tapping out a concerto of compassion the likes of which Genoa City had never seen. Using airtight logic and a half bottle of Patron Silver, I made the definitive case for parenting someone else’s child. I then delivered a master class in persuasive rhetoric that would make Socrates look like a piker, all in service of parting a softhearted dope from his vodka-soaked dingleberry. If you have to help someone in secret, there’s fuckery afoot, I always say.

Oh, the beautiful wisdom I could have gifted the world with! I discovered the dark, icy heart of the dysfunction plaguing Genoa City’s most infamous and idiotic family. Minds would be blown like Nick Newman’s prick in a room full of vacuum cleaners (ask anyone about the dustbuster dildo incident of ‘12. Better yet, don’t). Unfortunately I accidentally inhaled three ounces of Nyquil and took a five hour nap, waking up with a foggy noggin’ and no memory of this brilliant epiphany. Shit happens, right? Still, I was able to sift two people’s opposing memories of the same incident through the truth filter in my mind, leaving only pure, uncut truth. Who was right? Who was wrong? Who cares?

Like any super sexy, beefcake firefighter, I put out a number of little romantic fires with my hose of common sense. I took great joy in writing a detailed, meticulous expose on two faithless bags of burnt popcorn who fucked around behind the back of the man’s girlfriend and proceeded to act like it was all romantic and star-crossed and shit. Even I didn’t cheat on this woman and I’m the biggest dirtbag I know. This poor gal spent years as a cow-tipping vampire’s thrall and deserves better. Losing the digital receipts provides only a temporary reprieve, asshats, so prepare to find out.

I guess the best course of action is to start fresh, tackling new questions and dilemmas. Please, send those emails chock full of nonsense that you should be profoundly embarrassed by, and I’ll get around to them. Newmans, stop fucking writing me and asking where this “Jordan” person is. I’m an advice columnist, not Columbo. Hire some real security instead of the three goats in a trench coat you have roaming the grounds. And, folks, remember the Dear Buttbiscuit motto: It’s either my column or Sharon Newman; pick your poison.

Signed

Buttbiscuit

Praise the lord you are back! I wanted to write during our down time but for the life of me couldn’t remember if Buttbiscuit was one word or two. Now I know in case there’s a next time!

 

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And what was up with Pussyboy Danny screaming about Christine wanting him to stop talking to his child's mother? You mean your 40 year old child? WTF? For one thing he is not technically your child. Come to think of it,you never had any bio children. I wonder if his swimmers  did the dead man's float. But even if he is your bio child, he is not a child anymore. I think he could accept you not speaking to Phyllis. Daniel has a pretty good grip on what a bitch Mommy Dearest is.

"Tank you Jack". Did she mean to write Thank you or Fuck you?

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3 hours ago, babyhouseman said:

 

Danny Romalotti must be hot stuff since he's been fought over by Lauren, Traci, Christine, and Phyllis. This is like Archie comics with a boring Betty and Veronica. I don't know if Veronica killed anybody though. He should just sign their Tiger Beat magazines and move on. 

He was quite the hottie--40 years ago. 

2 hours ago, Waldo13 said:

 

Did Tucker drop his pants in front of Traci?  Which means that Tucker dropped a lot of clues that he bribed the waiter and restaurant staff to lie for him. He could have bought the entire restaurant. Tucker could have known that Ashley and Traci went to restaurant to confront the staff  but tell me how Tucker knew that she didn’t get the answer she was looking for?  I don’t remember Ashley or Traci telling him that so he must have been told by one of the restaurant’s staff

Ashley called Tucker and told him what happened at the cafe. Then she accused him of paying off the waiter. He basically blew her off, which really put Ashley on the warpath. 

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