Small Talk: Who to Marry, Where to Live, and Other Non-Show Stuff

[Gator Stud]

12 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

https://www.usda.gov/media/blog/2017/01/13/cost-raising-child - pegs it much lower. What a bargain!

This is nonsense.  They are claiming that you would spend $99/ year on clothes and 0 on healthcare expense. 0 on sports. 0 on books, 0 on presents, 0 on birthday parties. No movies or ever taking the kid out for anything. 0 field trips or vacation. Who are raising these kids? Wolves? I cant buy these government numbers. If they admitted what it really costs, the would have to give more aid, which they dont want to do.   What about diapers? They seem really expensive.  They dont include that in the cost of raising a child. This is the cost of having a child in the forest and teaching it how to eat bark. No braces in this cost or dentists visits period. I'm sure Noi is going to want her kids to have teeth that are not rotted out. These are not realistic numbers.  Nothing for emergencies, like when my friend's kid broke his collarbone.  No money for restaurants. Maybe these numbers are for Amish parents. But they are definitely not believable.

https://www.lendingtree.com/debt-consolidation/raising-a-child-study/

[ByTor]

5 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

Lol, and I’m from Long Island, and we are loud.  Speaking about MIL’s, mine was a challenge.  Rather a pain in the ass.  She would always watch what I was eating, and make a remark.  Maybe because my husband always praised me.  I took a lot of crap from her and am sorry now that I did.  I should of moved a few towns away.  Too late.  Some mother in laws are jealous that their sons are happy, so always have to say something.  I love my sons in laws and daughter in law, and let them know it.   Lots of luck on the vacation.  I’ve been there.  When we were first married, he told her my Sunday gravy was better than hers, and that’s what did it, lol. 🤣

Since you're using the word "gravy," I assume we're talking an Italian family? In that case, yep, that will do it!

I used to go to NYC for my hair (curl specialist), and a lot of the clientele was from North Jersey. Once there were 2 women talking about their hair routines & I was interested. I said "I couldn't help but overhear..." and one of the women replied with "Oh no, was I being loud again??" 😂

 

[kristen111]

6 minutes ago, ByTor said:

Since you're using the word "gravy," I assume we're talking an Italian family? In that case, yep, that will do it!

I used to go to NYC for my hair (curl specialist), and a lot of the clientele was from North Jersey. Once there were 2 women talking about their hair routines & I was interested. I said "I couldn't help but overhear..." and one of the women replied with "Oh no, was I being loud again??" 😂

 

Anytime we go anywhere out of State, as soon as I open my mouth, people know I’m a New Yorker.  Originally from Queens, then Long Island.  We definitely tawk different.

[Kdawg82]

2 hours ago, kristen111 said:

Maybe because my husband always praised me.  

SAME!!! Weird, right?! He admitted she gets jealous when he complements me. I always tell him to keep it between us lol

[kristen111]

30 minutes ago, Kdawg82 said:

SAME!!! Weird, right?! He admitted she gets jealous when he complements me. I always tell him to keep it between us lol

Yes.  Mother in laws should be happy their sons are happily married with a good wife.  I don’t get the jealously at all.  Out of her four children, we are the only ones who stood together.  The other three are divorced.  Your husband is proud of you, and that’s wonderful.  You are the winner.  Laugh her off.  🥂Laugh her off.  🥂

Edited March 13, 2022 by kristen111

[Kdawg82]

Thanks for bringing me into the OT thread. 😬😬😬 I don't need any more strikes up in here.  

[LennieBriscoe]

On 3/13/2022 at 1:14 AM, Kdawg82 said:

Thank you. I needed to hear that after the stressful week I've been having. I'll remember your words when I go on vacay with M-I-L next week and remind myself to be kind at all times. It's a struggle. But I began to envy these mellow people in my middle years now. I feel like it's elegant and classy to talk quietly and I'm a louder Jersey Girl 😖. I guess someone really got into my head lol. I'm not even from a culture considered to be loud so it's just purely the suburban Jersey influence. 

I'm a loud Pennsy (with Jersey relatives) gal. I think my volume is from 30 years of needing to be heard in the back of the room! 

[Doublemint]

I agree with the "I" "me" post.   Another weird thing is "could of" for "could have" "could've".  I see it in posts all the time.

[StatisticalOutlier]

2 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I hear you, I want to tattoo this to every Millennial's forehead.  How is it that no one under a certain age knows this anymore? 

It's not just them.  Four years ago, I heard David Remnick, editor of The New Yorker, say "between my wife and I" in an interview.  He's in his 60s.  And the fucking editor of The New Yorker.

[Yeah No]

6 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

It's not just them.  Four years ago, I heard David Remnick, editor of The New Yorker, say "between my wife and I" in an interview.  He's in his 60s.  And the fucking editor of The New Yorker.

That's awful, but it is less universal in older people.  My husband is 66 and has a GED and knows better.  Shame on this guy.

[Retired at last]

The problem with the 'me' and 'I' thing is that when you take out the other name to see which word is correct, it has to sound wrong and to many younger people, they don't hear that it is wrong, so that trick will not work anymore. So sad. I see it and read it all the time, so I really have to wonder about editors. I guess there is no requirement for grammar? I really have to stop myself from correcting people, except when I managed a team and I had to let them know why I was not selecting them to make a presentation to senior leadership. That's a tough one to have to correct a 50-year old professional. Oh, and my friend said the horrible, "Me and XXX were. . ." so I did have to correct her only because she home schools her daughter and I wanted to give XXX a fighting chance! And her response was that she THOUGHT it was wrong, but since that's all she hears, she thought that she must be wrong, so she changed her language.

[Yeah No]

12 hours ago, Retired at last said:

The problem with the 'me' and 'I' thing is that when you take out the other name to see which word is correct, it has to sound wrong and to many younger people, they don't hear that it is wrong, so that trick will not work anymore. So sad. I see it and read it all the time, so I really have to wonder about editors. I guess there is no requirement for grammar? I really have to stop myself from correcting people, except when I managed a team and I had to let them know why I was not selecting them to make a presentation to senior leadership. That's a tough one to have to correct a 50-year old professional. Oh, and my friend said the horrible, "Me and XXX were. . ." so I did have to correct her only because she home schools her daughter and I wanted to give XXX a fighting chance! And her response was that she THOUGHT it was wrong, but since that's all she hears, she thought that she must be wrong, so she changed her language.

It's so sad, but the reason they don't hear that it's wrong is that they all pick it up from each other.  They don't hear the right usage enough anymore and God forbid they should listen to anyone that does use it.  My husband said once, "Remember when we were kids if we didn't use the correct grammar there was always an adult there to slap us on the wrist and correct us?"  LOL, he was exaggerating but that's not far from the truth.  I'm not a parent but that's how I would have raised my kids (minus the slapping of course!).  But back in the day it wasn't just parents but any adult within earshot that would correct us.  I just don't get the way our society has gone these days.  I thought it was just here in the US but having watched enough YouTubes and other videos featuring British people, it seems to be taking hold over there too.  I have been saying for a long time that the internet is not a good teacher, in fact if left in the wrong hands it perpetuates ignorance.  But now people are "learning" this stuff online and "confirming" their own mistakes.  It's become an epidemic of major proportions.  I wish I were exaggerating!

[kirklandia]

OK – minor rant. Something I've been hearing recently on other shows in addition to this one. Not in real life (yet?).  When did cheers take the place of toast?

Cheers is what you say when you toast.  
It is not a synonym for the word toast.

Let's cheers to proper English (raises glass).

🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂

Edited March 19, 2022 by kirklandia

[kikicat]

I had to check out this thread because if I see one more internet grammar "looser", I will scream. Any day now I'm expecting that some dictionary somewhere will give up and claim "looser" is now the accepted spelling because of popular use.

Don't know for sure that The Bachelor instigated "Him and I's relationship", but I'm definitely blaming the "cheers" thing on those idiots. Like that show is like the worst for like proper like English.

Then there are phrases such as "for intensive purposes" and "doggy dog world". I'm betting that comes from people who never read, so they never see a lot of common words and phrases written down.

Toast! 🥂

Edited March 23, 2022 by kikicat
there's always room for one more like

[Yeah No]

Quote

  27 minutes ago, Racj82 said:

Being single forever looks like the better option everyday.

Be careful, it could become a self fulfilling prophecy.  A lot of people don't care what you eat or don't eat.  Someone that loves you will make accommodations for you.  My husband doesn't like bananas, puddings, marshmallows, sweet potatoes.  I don't care.  We've been married 42 years this year.  My mother was a huge foodie, she'd eat anything.  My father wouldn't eat raw fish.  He didn't like cooked fish either.  So when they went to the sushi restaurant he ordered pork cutlet and was very happy with it.  Marriage is about compromise otherwise I would be single right now myself.

[kristen111]

On 3/16/2022 at 8:26 PM, LennieBriscoe said:

I'm a loud Pennsy (with Jersey relatives) gal. I think my volume is from 30 years of needing to be heard in the back of the room! 

As in Pennsylvania?  My daughter spent four years at University Park, PSU.  The best years of her life.

[kristen111]

I love Tacos from Taco Bell.  I have to put “Tiger Sauce” down the middle.  Tiger Sauce in a small bottle where all the spices are at your favorite supermarket.  I never had a Taco until I got married.  My mother cooked fresh every night from the butcher.  The only thing we ate out once in awhile was pizza.  She didn’t believe in eating out.  She cooked everything from scratch.

[kristen111]

6 hours ago, Racj82 said:

Being single forever looks like the better option everyday.

Don’t like squash?  Try this.  Peel skin off 2 big ripe yellow squashes.  Cut in cubes.  Lightly brown one cut up onion in olive oil.  Add cubed squash and two ripe tomatoes on vine cut up.  little salt n pepper.  Cook until soft.  Add lots of Parmesan cheese on top.  You will love it.

[kristen111]

Nuts.  No show tonite.  Kevin Frazior.

[kristen111]

22 hours ago, Racj82 said:

He never ate them before. He knows tacos exist. 

I must remember not to admit never eating certain things on dates. Apparently it will make you look like a real weirdo if you haven't  tried certain things you don't have an interest in eating.

It’s nobody’s business what you like or dislike.  Everyone is different.  Tacos are a bit spicy, so some people won’t eat them.  My husband only will eat flounder .. no other fish.  Never suchi.  Why would you care what people say?

 

 

 

 

 

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, kristen111 said:

It’s nobody’s business what you like or dislike.  Everyone is different.  Tacos are a bit spicy, so some people won’t eat them.  My husband only will eat flounder .. no other fish.  Never suchi.  Why would you care what people say?

I agree with you but tacos aren't spicy unless you order them spicy.  You can order them mild.  Plus there's always Taco Bell for beginners, LOL.  So I don't think that's the issue for Mark.

4 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

Mark never eating sushi seems more common than not ever having eaten a taco. I know lots of people who don't like sushi (myself included). But I would definitely be surprised and give some side eye if I ever met someone who said that they had never had a taco - not that they didn't like them but that they had never had one. I can't even wrap my head around that, but I live in California. Half the population is Hispanic and delicious Mexican food is everywhere. Tacos are almost a religion here. The local AAA baseball team here even renames themselves the Tacos as a promotion every once in a while.

Tacos and Mexican food in general are everywhere in the Northeast.  We have a big Hispanic population here too, even Mexicans.  So it would take some effort even in New England to avoid them.  Go to any New England city, it's nothing but taco trucks everywhere.  Speaking of that, I'm making them tomorrow night!

1 hour ago, kristen111 said:

Speaking of the good person, bet she was an only child whose parents never said “no” to her.  She probably stomped her feet when told no.  What a horror of a person.  So happy he dumped her.

I'm sure her parents never said "no" to her, but don't assume that makes Alyssa an only child.  That's a myth.  I am an only child and my parents had absolutely NO trouble saying "no" to me all the time!  In fact, most spoiled kids I knew growing up had siblings.  Didn't we see a sister at the wedding?  I think I remember thinking she was better looking than Alyssa.

[Racj82]

11 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Be careful, it could become a self fulfilling prophecy.  A lot of people don't care what you eat or don't eat.  Someone that loves you will make accommodations for you.  My husband doesn't like bananas, puddings, marshmallows, sweet potatoes.  I don't care.  We've been married 42 years this year.  My mother was a huge foodie, she'd eat anything.  My father wouldn't eat raw fish.  He didn't like cooked fish either.  So when they went to the sushi restaurant he ordered pork cutlet and was very happy with it.  Marriage is about compromise otherwise I would be single right now myself.

I just don't care that much anymore. I'm just fine being me and doing my own thing. The reason why I initially said that quote is just because I feel like there is a lot of judgment and imaginary red flags in dating now. It just feels real exhausting. I'm almost 40. It is what it is. I've been single my whole life. It's time to just own it. Not everyone is meant to be in love.

[Yeah No]

5 hours ago, kristen111 said:

I never had a Taco until I got married. 

I had my first taco in the mid '60s in Greenwich Village at a little taco shop called "Taco Rico".  Tacos were not very common here in the Northeast back then but my father had been stationed in California for a while when he was in the army so he already had them.  They say that a lot of regional and ethnic cuisines got popularized when the servicemen traveled and learned about foods that weren't yet in their area.  That's how pizza became a big thing in the 1950s and then swept the nation.

[Yeah No]

9 minutes ago, Racj82 said:

I just don't care that much anymore. I'm just fine being me and doing my own thing. The reason why I initially said that quote is just because I feel like there is a lot of judgment and imaginary red flags in dating now. It just feels real exhausting. I'm almost 40. It is what it is. I've been single my whole life. It's time to just own it. Not everyone is meant to be in love.

I hear you but I am a hopeless romantic down deep and would never give up finding love if it came to that.  But I get it that not everyone is like me.  Also it's not lost on me how dating has gotten in recent years and I think the whole online atmosphere makes it harder to connect with anyone than it was before we had it.  We have all this technology to put us in touch with people but ironically it's even harder to find someone now.  People are so picky now and unwilling to compromise.  They rule people out on petty little things not looking at the big picture.  They think someone better is always only two clicks away so they never think the person they meet is good enough.  It's sad that the thing that was supposed to make finding someone easier has only made it harder.

[OFDgal]

On 3/13/2022 at 12:24 PM, kristen111 said:

Anytime we go anywhere out of State, as soon as I open my mouth, people know I’m a New Yorker.  Originally from Queens, then Long Island.  We definitely tawk different.

Same here as I'm from Boston.   I have been asked many times to say, "Park the car in Harvard Yard. lol.  

[LennieBriscoe]

22 hours ago, kristen111 said:

As in Pennsylvania?  My daughter spent four years at University Park, PSU.  The best years of her life.

Same here! East Halls, four years! 

[kristen111]

On 3/23/2022 at 11:50 PM, Racj82 said:

I just don't care that much anymore. I'm just fine being me and doing my own thing. The reason why I initially said that quote is just because I feel like there is a lot of judgment and imaginary red flags in dating now. It just feels real exhausting. I'm almost 40. It is what it is. I've been single my whole life. It's time to just own it. Not everyone is meant to be in love.

Don’t think about it anymore.  If it’s meant to be for you to be married, out of nowhere, it will happen.  I believe in that.  Spend some time in the library or Home Depot.  That’s what I tell my divorced Son.  He loves the single life tho.  How about “Match.com”?  Meet up for coffee?

[Racj82]

1 hour ago, kristen111 said:

Don’t think about it anymore.  If it’s meant to be for you to be married, out of nowhere, it will happen.  I believe in that.  Spend some time in the library or Home Depot.  That’s what I tell my divorced Son.  He loves the single life tho.  How about “Match.com”?  Meet up for coffee?

I've never matched with anyone on a dating site.

But, I'm just focusing on me right now. Whatever happens will happen.