Toaster Strudel

I want to vomit. She actually lost her job, then got "married."

Thanks guys but now you have to help me figure out what it was about both girls, Theresa and Mayra's mom examining the damage together after the accident that pushed JJ over the edge. Not everyone is as smart as JJ! Sad but true!

Plaintiff: Mayra's mom Defendant: Thai Johnna JJ interrogates Mayra first. She tells some confused story that skips the actual accident entirely, just some vague before and after, so JJ backs up and starts again to flesh it out in chronological order. We find out that Thai Johnna asked to borrow Mayra's car (her mom's actually) to run some errands. Mayra refused, so Thai Johnna stole her keys and took the car without permission. Add some extraneous information that Mayra's shift was longer than Thai Johnna's. JJ asks Mayra if she lent Thai Johnna the car before. She says that she once did to drive to the bank which is across the street (maybe they live in Salt Lake City where "across the street" is a couple of miles). Now JJ doesn't believe Mayra that she would lend the car once, but not the next time. Mayra explains that away saying that there was talk that Thai Johnna was borrowing cars too often. JJ asked Mayra if she had seen Thai Johnna borrow someone else's car. The answer was "no." Then she turns to Thai Johnna, who has a completely different story, which is laden with a multitude of trivial details that make her very believable. The restaurant was slow, and the supervisor (Theresa) sent them both on breaks. They went to Wal-Mart. It was raining a lot. In the parking lot as Mayra was making a turn to park, the car aquaplaned (Thai Johnna's word!) and they ended up in a pole. Mayra was hysterical and the Wal-Mart employees came out to see if everyone was OK. They suggested that Mayra not drive again because she was too upset. Mayra asked Thai Johnna to take the blame for her. She was afraid that her mother would whoop her and punish her harshly, but felt that her friend would be untouchable with regards to Mayra's mom's wrath. Mayra drove the wreck back to Taco Cabana, and the story trails off. JJ decides to call Theresa at Taco Cabana. We don't see the call, but we see JJ coming out of chambers with steam shooting out of her ears and waving her finger angrily at Mayra. I'm not sure what happened but it seems like JJ believed that the witness had been tampered with not to speak to JJ. JJ asked "what is: oh because why?" but I'm not sure if that is something that was texted between the witness and Mayra, or some strange answer she got from her phone call. She asked both girls if they were still working there. Both claimed not to. In her protestations Mayra blurts out that both girls, Theresa, and Mayra's mother were there together after the accident to look at the damage, and JJ threw everyone out. In the hallterview Mayra complained that the big graduation party that had been planned for months had been canned because the car was wrecked - supporting the theory that Mayra's mother knew that Mayra was the one that wrecked the car. Now that I think about it, JJ might have thought that they were scamming the show at Thai Johnna's expense. Thai Johnna symbolically took the blame for her friend, but the car was probably uninsured for damages, and Mayra's mother decided to take Thai Johnna to Judge Judy so that the show pays for the car at no expense to Thai Johnna. I don't think Thai Johnna was in on the scam at all, but Theresa was and that's why she didn't want to talk to JJ. Mayra's mom punished Mayra, so she knew that Mayra wrecked the car, yet she was suing that poor Thai Johnna? They were scamming the show for sure but we the viewers only knew this for a fact during the hallterview. JJ must have figured it out during that telephone call somehow. That's my guess but there may be better ones out there.

Bunny Eared Hell Hound - Another dog bite case! Now we have adults that sign up to take dogs for walks twice a day for a dog's overly long life span, rain or shine, snow or sleet, that are passing on the responsibility of picking up canine feces, putting them into bags, and walking the dog and its steaming pile in a bag until the next public garbage receptable onto their children. Never mind that the dog weighs the same as the child. The most pathetic plaintiff of the year had a photograph as a defense. Yes, a photo of his raging devil-beast wearing novelty bunny ears, and shouting out: "could this dog have done what he's being accused of?" or some such. Schmuck. Like that's going to fool anyone. I bet he thought he was a real Renaissance man blurting out to JJ: "Do you want me to play back the tape?" Shut up, knucklehead, only JJ has the right to utter this sacred sentence from her altar. May you burn in hell with your cannibalistic Cerberus. We here do not suffer such tomfoolery as talking back to JJ. You did not endear yourself. Imbecile. Adorable Destroyers of Cars - Cutest kid to ever be on television. Nicest plaintiff ever. Does she bake cookies everyday and invite all the kids to come after school and tell her about how their day went? Is her house made of gingerbread? Are her shingles licorice? How dare the defendant imply that this fairy godmother of the streets should falsely accuse that darling little devil on a red bike! Crashing Lies - I have to watch this one again to figure out why JJ ruled against the plaintiff so quickly towards the end, it reminded me of the "but there was no earpiece" case except I didn't get it. Put on your thinking caps on, fellow previouslies! In any event, I believed the plaintiff that she pretended to have been driving the car to save her friend's her mom's wrath and the horrible punishment of having her graduation party cancelled. Mind you, and accident is an accident, the kids are punished enough already. But then to sue the friend who took the blame for you? I hated fat mom's smug smile and knowing nods the whole time through. Maybe she put her daughter up to it and she had to keep up the charade. In the hallterview, it looks like the punishment of party cancellation had gone through anyway. What's up? A Pox On Both Your Houses - So your boyfriend cheated on you, you left him, that doesn't mean you get to sue him for assaulting him and leaving him to pay the whole rent etc. Worth it to see Byrd finally lose it.

Where can I find a picture of this beautiful dress?

Three shirts and two shorts? What a waste when in California, he could get away with just wearing a single speedo. I mean, he's in reasonable shape, he wouldn't gross anyone out. He would save hundreds of dollars every year on soap alone. Boiling kills bacteria but does not inactivate toxins. Clostridium rhymes with yum! This show should be renamed Extreme Wasters.

Today was a real vey-hick-cull festival. The very first case didn't sound promising with a dispute about towing fees on some dumb truck that was used by a pair of new divorcees. I liked the twist that the father-in-law's towing fees were incurred when he himself took a screwdriver and removed the plates. Cretin. What did he think was going to happen? The defendant would drive the car to the DMV to register it his name? Oh oops, now he can't because the car has no plates. Second case, have we ever seen such luxury merchandise as a Jaguar being the subject of a dispute? Even one with wheels that won't spin? I mean this is JJ, you didn't think there was going to be a functioning Jaguar, did you? Third and last, Chronically Depressed Dumbo-Eared Poodle. I would be chronically depressed too if I was owned by some clinging psycho lacking the ability to spend a minute without pawing my doggy jewelry, my doggy fashion wear, my scrawny neck and scratching my head like her world would totally fall apart if I decided to leave her arms for a minute to chase a squirrel in the yard. The owner was totally emo with this dog, did she actually quit her job and expected the neighbors to cough up 13K instead of $50 for euthanasia, which would have been the reasonable option? Sure, Diego aka Beelzebub on 4 legs did bite the world's ugliest poodle (probably to stop his eyes from bleeding every time he had to look at it), but since the landlord gave her free rent and paid much of the ridiculous vet expenses, and the defendants paid her $600, I thought JJ was overly generous awarding $1000 to the plaintiff. I hope she uses some of that money for psychotherapy to become less dependent on hapless canine slaves to keep her shit together.

I wondered too, and I couldn't come up with a single answer for why they would do that other than to testify that they had legitimately sold their daughter to him into slavery, signed contract in hand.

Also he had one of those cheap, $10 but fantastic non-stick white ceramic coated frying pans that he used for eggs (that's what they are fantastic for!) but was scratching it with a metal fork. Re-use a plastic fork instead! Keep your frying pan in perfect shape longer. I hate watching this show to see people wasting good stuff.

Just watched the cooking instructor, I think he overspent for his meal. 5 dollars to feed 6 people? I could do that without dumpster diving.

Ratings sweeps! Ratings sweeps and JJ is swinging that broom. Hillbilly Homeschoolers: I knew this was going to be good when JJ started the case by dispatching the kid out of the courtroom. I'm not sure that the trespassing maternal grandmother is any less morally deficient than the paternal grandmother, I suspect both to be interested in the orphan's government benefits more than his welfare, but I was clapping with the audience when JJ announced that SHE was going to call CPS over the defendant's keeping poor little Toby home who "doesn't look sick" but has "asthma" and has been pulled out of school. At least they didn't try to pretend they were homeschooling the kid with their 9th & 10th grade education. He's going to school online? Way to isolate the child with these two clodhoppers. JJ started out trying to be patient with the deaf son but he was incoherent and childish, so back off to his seat he was summoned. Ever-Diminishing Insurance: Let's charter a plane to Modesto to look for that black Mustang with that plate number MFKwhatever! Off the top of my head... this was the exchange: JJ: Is the car insured? Defendant: Yes. JJ: Since when? Defendant: A couple of months ago. JJ: A couple of months ago? Defendant: Yes a month ago. (time passes) JJ: So the car is not insured? Defendant: No. Yes, Einstein, this must be a warp in insurance spacetime! In the hallterview, the plaintiff claimed that the defendant was a drug user, and he used the "hearsay" defense against this... not "I don't take drugs" but "it's just hearsay." I'm not on drugs and I'm not buying his argument. Laughing Gas Mother of the Year: if this piece of human trash named Belinda Levy doesn't get nominated for Most Despicable Defendant Of 2014 I will eat a whole box of PopTarts, my arch-enemies. There is something about someone laughing manically while facing the exposition of their sordid, degenerate lack of moral principles that speaks in favor of medieval punishments. Her daughter was choking back tears for I am sure was years of manipulation and financial/emotional abuse from this insanely selfish succubus. Calling CPS over some alleged 2-month old pot smoking, sending some government appendage to drug test these two young people for no reason, and 4 waste-of-time visits where real abused children like Out-Of-School Toby have to wait their turn longer to get the help they desperately need, well madam, that is outrageous. If I'm not upset enough, the beastly wretch had to nerve to blame her daughter and vow to never speak to her again, still laughing uproariously like her sides were getting split from the world's funniest joke. Meanwhile the daughter was still lost in the fog of family obligation, "she's my mom!" No she's not your mom, kid, she's a momster, please cut ties with this abusing lunatic and have a happy life. Momster can go back to her usual diet of carrion with the rest of the pack of hyenas she belongs to. Babysitting Prostitute Moving Company: What a creep, hiring a live-in 19 yr old babysitter to take care of his 3 children, having her pack his house for moving, and giving himself permission not to pay her because he also boinked her. I guess that made her no longer an employee, but a girlfriend who is expected to do all this for free? That's really exploiting the naive. I'm glad JJ had none of it, personally I wanted to puke.

Because instead of being 15 years older than Mo, she's now 20 older. I guess she's no more comfortable with this age difference than the rest of us.

Sorry guys, I tried to watch the show this week, caught a glimpse of Hardly Studly getting some contract after declaring bankruptcy, some women whining, and I had to press DELETE.

Fried, hard-boiled or scrambled, LOL.

What makes him so special? It's that rotting wood and peeling paint Swamp Lair with its emerald-green alligator swimming pool!

What I hate the most about Clara is that I feel she was created from the mind of a misogynist, or at least someone with a very limited, negative, and stereotypical view of women. Clara is emotional, selfish, deceitful, proud, insecure, demanding, draining, blackmailing... but she's cute as a button, so all is forgiven. As a woman, Clara offends me. I have been running away from this stereotype my whole life.

Oh my, another fender bender hit with insured litigants! Be still my heart! Oh wait no - clean cut little old lady didn't have insurance after all, it was in the name of some ex-BF or husband with a restraining order, so she couldn't find out if she was insured! I guess she's just another half-wit with attitude. But never mind that... the plaintiff was what, 25? Her boyfriend was at least 80, and probably has piles of catalogs for walkers and canes on his nightstand. Maybe she can modify her dented truck with a wheelchair lift. Next we move on to the epitome of first world problems, an understaffed spa! Oh no! The ladies had to get their massages in sequence rather than simultaneously! Their cuticles weren't attended to! Their nail color was freshened up by unlicensed nail techs! If that didn't tug at my heartstrings hard enough, we have a bride that only got 212 wedding pictures (some of them duplicates!!!), not the 600 she was promised. Also some pictures she wanted weren't taken and the DJs were late. Boo hoo. Not sure about that third case where the plaintiff actually paid his share of an apartment he wasnot living in for 8 months, but I do retain the word: PRIORLY.

JJ was really ready to rip into BooBoo Juan! I can't believe that of the two people that lied to the police about her assaulting BBJ, She-Prince married one, and sued the other for 5K! I loved how JJ got him to admit that he called the 911 to claim an assault and a bloody injury, not the "argument and push" story he wanted to go with. Is there anyone here that didn't laugh seeing the eye patch, thinking that Robin Suburb-hood had missed the apple on daddy's head? I don't know what got over me, seeing that arrow planted nearly straight on the car roof, I burst out laughing, there should have been a love letter attached to it. Boing-Oing-Oing-Oing-Oing! And joy! Another mad pitbull case whose owners won't let into the house, but will allow to roam the neighborhood and terrorize everyone. The idiot owners get points for re-homing the heinous monster, but to sue because the dog was stabbed with Great Justice? What kind of cretin believes a story about some neighbor going psycho and stabbing their canine Satan for no reason? They were outrageous. JJ knocked it out of the park getting the kid to tell the real story, sort of. We all know he was dumb, but the real question was, was he also deaf that he didn't hear that woman screaming? No way he was talking to mom on the phone, he was sexting some girl and he couldn't run with a boner. That's my story and I'm sticking with it. Please don't report my post for overuse of italics.

Justin's folks may be so unpleasant that the thought of having a significant interaction with them was paralyzing. I'm not saying they were abusive, but when the relationship may be strained enough that all his good news are met with put-downs. There comes a time when people stop listening to "concerns" because they are not voiced by family members that have their best interests at heart, as a matter of habit.

So "Brett" and "Daya" are religious fanatics! That explains a few things.

More like this soldier has dodged a huge bullet.

I think he said "in her forties."

No one can say that Daya didn't earn that green card. She made sacrifices for it.

Oh yeah, that ring set and the diamond setting itself looked like the kind that was popular in the mid-sixties, it's probably from a pawn shop and all scratched up.

It's official, I'm officially rooting for Evelin and NotBaldwin to succeed if only to spite Sister-In-Law Darth Vader. Now I know why he postponed notifying his family of his engagement, and wants to elope. They are obnoxious dicks, all of them. The facial contortions Darth Vader was making were rude beyond belief. I don't understand why he's in contact with these passive aggressive, or straight up aggressive fools. If Evelin and NotBaldwin have children, they'd be wise to never introduce them to this pack of hyenas. Elope!!! So many things wrong with Daya and Brett. Did he need to pick up the daughter for a months-long visit requiring a 10 hour drive the day after Daya arrived from the Philippines? Did his mother need to come to live with them and the two adorable elderly lesbians right away? Immediately Daya is sharing a house with the future mother-in-law, the lesbians, and her bed with a stepchild? And she has to spend her second day in America babysitting with a sour-faced mother-in-law. No fucking shit she'd better make sure the diamond isn't fake. Would anyone be surprised if it were? Daya is a really good sport putting up with this garbage with a smile. The little girl was cute but she didn't seem that much into daddy, so Daya shouldn't worry too hard. Jason and Cassia, LOL. Jason is married to his daddy. These two have been married for some time and I don't think there is room for a third wheel of the female kind. The local womenfolk of Swampview, FL, know this and are keeping Jason out of their vajayjays. Cassia is psycho and has zero interest in Jason. She has made this very clear, and Jason gets it - however she is really hot and he's willing to risk it, especially since after she rejects him, he'll still be married to daddy.