Toaster Strudel

Why does it take the sympathy meter down?

You might have a better shot if you send him a picture of your dear granny.

Cannabis University of Florida is for real? I thought the closed captioning was high...

Enjoy more vocal fry fuckerbitches (hey old times!)

More good snark: http://yourslownewsday.com/90-day-fiance-recap-no-money-mo-problems/

Burglar Boutique - Pawn shop owner was done and finished when he admitted that he did not volunteer information to the cops about all the other junk his client was "finding in storage units." But the cops only came for this one specific case! Judgment for the plaintiff... Vocal Fry Video - I wanted to see the bad video. The plaintiff looked like he might play the banjo. But who cares... the best/worst thing about the case was the witness' vocal fry. I swear it's the worst I've ever heard. "HAHAHAHAHA" - Are these two drunks kidding me? I don't think I've ever seen JJ laugh so hard, she was in a splendid mood. The case must have been filmed after lunch on sushi tuesday. Terresa Terry, Insurance Scammer - teebax will love this. If you're going to need someone to lie to the insurance company, you have to give them a cut! Even JJ agrees and granted the cut to the plaintiff. What, no talk of clean hands? Doesn't matter! I felt sorry for the kid, but he did get $5K for a pile of blankets and a few laundry baskets of clothes. Even The Lord Is Uninsured! - Pasty faced Mary Magdalen defendant crashes Jesus' motorcycle. Our Savior had forgotten to insure his bike with the Holy Ghost. Too bad! The sinner woman was lying when she said Jesus rode with her, in the hallterview she admitted that he didn't. She betrayed him in front of Pilatus Judy!

A perfect ending for this British granny, victim of the bezness! Her "husband" was denied a visa after the marriage, now he's back in Tunisia syphoning her income and assets! See for yourselves: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2836930/Grandmother-ten-stunned-family-marrying-Tunisian-toy-boy-met-online-begs-Home-Office-grant-visa-vows-convert-Islam-prove-devotion-husband.html Here is another "couple" hoping to be on the dole in the UK: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2632674/Real-life-Shirley-Valentine-lived-benefits-UK-moved-Tunisia-marry-toyboy-met-Facebook-broke-wants-him.html It's a real epidemic: http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/married-waiter-woman-70-marries-4312086 This idiot did it twice: http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/493844/Tunisian-toyboy-cost-woman-18-000 They all one some things in common in Danielle: Unattractive much older women with younger men, the younger men being underemployed if employed at all, and the older women, it turns out, not financially stable.

"Verbal words", folks!

LOL at Amy & Danny the virgins commenting that they have "great sexual chemistry" - how would they know?

What do you call two guys that live together with poodles and that are planning a wedding? . . . . . Jason & his dad

Jason & Cassia. I get the thing with the "Don't bend it!!!!" porno magazine. It bothers her, whatevs, but he promised there would be none. So she checked, and there was one. And HE has the gall to complain that she should trust him? And who buys porno magazines on the internet, where you can't check that the best pages aren't all sticky or completely stuck together? He had no intention of selling this, he is just lying and she knows it. She's aggressive, he's passive-aggressive... oh boy. Next week: Cassia scans Jason's hard drive.

Now on to Mo & Dani, and I won't speak of the obvious but... In one of the first scenes, they are walking away, back to the camera. Mo was holding both his hands in his back, kinda over his keister. A great position if you don't want to be holding hands with Danielle! However she found a way to hold his hand anyway while he had both hands over his keister. FAIL. In the scene where Danielle admits to being a manipulative liar of the worst kind, lying about her financial situation to her own selfish ends, and causing him to leave his job and family on false pretenses (I am not blind to the irony), she cries and tries to give him a hug. He wraps his right arm on her back, holds back the urge to retch, but leaves his left arm dangling on his knee. Mo's commitment to the green card is at once bold and unwavering. Interesting that Danielle totally ignored Mo's tradition of wedding indoors. I thought that not asking his opinion was callous, especially since his family won't be there (they know it's the bezness LOL). Not that he cares, really, it's not a real wedding for him, but she's really self-centered. He's got to be impressed with his & hers outhouses, though. The DJ should be the banjo duet from Deliverance. Danielle has this goofy way of talking, either she's all hee-hee-hee-hee or she's crying. She must be heavily medicated. Danielle's sister appears to be of normal intelligence at least. She should get POA over Danielle. In other news our family income is easily 5 times that of Danielle and we married at city hall without a wedding dress or rings. Thirty years and going.

I'm going to start with Justin and Evelin. I read a lot of sadness with Justin. This kid is hurting real bad. Either Jason was the scapegoat or the "identified patient" in a very dysfunctional, nasty, and manipulative family system. I resent Evelin butting in and not supporting him with the pain that he must feel, and forcing him to be in closer contact with people that have no respect for them and probably abused him verbally/emotionally. Justin looked profoundly uncomfortable with his mother. How could that Evelin not notice??? At the restaurant, the mother didn't apologize. Huge red flag right there. She dug herself into position by reiterating their "concerns" which are nothing but 'busybodying' - Justin is a gainfully employed adult and has been for some time. Then she took a ride on the me-me-me train with some fake tears to boot. Nothing about Justin and how HE feels, what his needs are, or respect for either. Jake, his brother, is probably some kind of golden child that can do no wrong. I could tell that Jason felt really small talking to him, and Jake looked like he didn't care about his brother's happiness, only to make sure that he would tow the line of family obligation. He was barely making eye contact with Justin, looking over his head. I totally get why Justin waited to introduce Evelin to these narcissists, and wants to elope. Evelin should put a sock in it when she says that "family is the most important." Put a sock. In. It. She should show some respect and some empathy for her future husband, and stop deluding herself that she's going to be the pacifist savior of this dysfunctional, abusive bunch.

Good heavens, the pool has been cleaned! Did Jason have to shoot the gators?

He last visited sometime in 2013 and I think it's legit.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/hammajbeli?cf=profile ...and he's on OKDupid!

Some people are only just a pool cleaning and a bedroom de-hoarding away from not having an "unimpressive domicile" but are too slovenly for this simple courtesy. Others with "unimpressive domiciles" should know better than to take scarce resources away from their three teens to fly to Doha and stay shut in the hotel the whole time watching US TV channels, and bankroll some young man's trips to the US and immigration fees.

http://www.meetme.com/member/101503993 LOL Mo's marital status is listed as "it's complicated!"

Is it perhaps because Danielle reminds us of our dear grandmothers? You know the types with the crocheted dolls that you leave on top of the toilet bowl with a fresh roll under their big skirt? Also she lied about her age and she admitted she's 46. I don't know if you've noticed in one of the extra clips, Danielle is talking in front of a literal mountain of creepy assorted dolls. OMG I missed this!

So there is such a thing as "luxurious concrete" LOL, you learn something everyday!

Dear Cassia, I apologize for calling you "psycho" in another thread for threatening to back out of meeting Jason at the airport. Now I get what you were going through. I too would have had second thoughts meeting this loser to board a plane and a bus all the way to the low rent retirement community that is Swampview FL. I am sorry that you took a chance on this immature baby and traveled six thousand miles to end up in some drab, undecorated hoarded bedroom with a 38 yr old that makes no money and is married to his father. You must have had an intuition that you'd only be some distant third wheel in this unholy situation. It must be so disappointing to wake up everyday to a viscous cesspool infested with mosquito larva and slimy green algae. A man that professes to love you does not take you to some iceberg lettuce and bacon bit salad bar with instructions to steal muffins for you to eat tomorrow. I hope you make the best of this situation, marry him and form a threesome with his dad, divorce him the minute your immigration status is settled, and get out of Swampview with your tires screeching. For heaven's sake use contraception and do not have a child with him. He has got "deadbeat dad" written all over him. Yours truly, ToasterStrudel

She still needs to look where she's going.

I know, right? He should be on Extreme Cheapskates. Poor Cassia. I hope he's just a stepping stone out of the swamp for her.

A Real Good Buzz... In The Eye! - I wasn't sure where this one was headed, it never goes well when you have a drunk plaintiff and a drunk defendant. But given the hilarious description that the arresting officer made of the defendant's behavior, crying, apologizing, aggression, etc, I think even JJ started to believe that he had been capable of randomly punching the other guy in the eye. By The Book Squatters - You got to love some squatters that don't pay rent in a foreclosed home for 10 months, but get all "by the book" when the new owner shows up and is willing to let them carry on a while longer if they pay rent. Did they want JJ to believe they left a dog behind for a few weeks? They said they moved out in July... "in the process of"... and the dog was still there in August? I couldn't believe that the new owner of the house wasn't the plaintiff, these people had both nerve and entitlement. They knew how to work the system. I'm glad their junk was thrown out. Lead Eyelashes - Drama in the projects! Girl, if your fake eyelashes are 6 inches long and weigh a pound each so that you barely can keep your eyes open, of course your boyfriend will cheat on you - while you blink, because blinking means your eyes are going to be shut for 3 minutes and that's all he needs. Rashawn Morton: "she slept with my brother, TOO!" Oh great, Lead Eyelashes has confirmation that you did cheat. Making fun of the plaintiff's boots and stomach was really rich coming from this watermelon-shaped woman with unretractable awnings over each eye. "They want me but they can't have me," Rashawn continued to prattle on in the hallterview using "verbal words," in case there was a handful of viewers left still not convinced that as a stud, he will pass zero intelligence to his unsupported offspring. Leenoleeoooom - That was a hideous, ratty "Prada" bag that I wouldn't be caught dead with, what is it with marginal people spending $1300 to carry their food stamp card and packs of chewing gum? I didn't like the defendant much because of the $300 discrepancy in her written vs. spoken testimony, but the landlady moaning about "Leenoleeoooom not of my taste" on her previously cement floor? I loved how she defended this by saying this was top notch cement with a *gasp* shiny surface! Very nice! Feel this luxurious concrete!

If I were to hold a trade show in Swampview, FL, I wouldn't hire a Brazilian bikini model. I would advertise "triple the handicapped parking spaces!", "a defibrillator every hundred feet!" and "guaranteed gator-free!"