Joimiaroxeu

Flashbacks of yesterday's episode being shown in black & white as if those Billy and Nick scenes were aired months or years ago. Okay. Adrenaline is a helluva drug. Sharon tipping over that bookcase was unexpected. Maybe there are still remnants of PCP in her system, ha ha. Stand back, citizens of GC! Detective Chancellor has the situation under control. Just ask him. 🙄 Wait, so where was the surveillance camera hidden? Guess it wasn't in the loudspeaker box as I previously speculated. Sure, Phyllis, everything you've done in your life has been to survive. Like openly cheating on your husband with his brother. Or getting pregnant by another woman's husband. You have the survival skills of a rabid dingbat. Poison gas?!?! Wow, no half-measures for Alan/Martin. Now he's going for attempted murder charges on top of the kidnapping and trespassing. Nick must have a leg made of titanium given the way he kicked open the locked door. After everything that happened, Sharon and Phyllis were taken to Victor's house for questioning. Gee, why not the jazz club, or Society? So effing stupid. Alan/Martin just pulled several meticulously-planned crimes. His cellphone has clear evidence of his responsibility for those crimes. However, he wasn't smart enough to stash that phone where his fiancée couldn't access it. Seriously?

Adam has to get permission to enter Daddy's house. Huh. Everyone else just walks in. Hey, it's Chloe. One would think Alan/Martin would be using a burner phone and he'd be keeping it hidden. If Traci sees those messages from the hostage room he'll have to kill her, or at least wipe her memory. Adam said he built Newman Media from the ground up. Right. Daddy gave him the cushy office, the CEO title, the staff, and the association with NE. Plus, other people have also successfully run NM, such as Sally and Nikki. Hush, Adam. Alan/Martin "letting" Traci talk him into a quickie wedding has to mean he's setting up a way to access her finances. Sigh, Traci shouldn't be marrying anybody without a prenup in place beforehand. So Chloe has seen the light about trying to warn her galpals away from Adam. It's a miracle! 🙄 Latest clue: "Who will pay the price to save the life of the mind?" Oh FFS. I think Alan/Martin's brain is begging to be released from its captivity. On Neptune. Clearly the surveillance camera is in the loudspeaker. Phyllis could take off her bra and use it to cover the whole thing. Assuming she's wearing one, that is. 😼 Why wouldn't Alan/Martin take a minute check his phone? That's an unforced error on his part unless he wants Traci to do it. Oy. Phyllis and Sharon: Transformers unite!

Hey, it's Traci and Alan or Martin. Now Sharon's dead. Or not. This storyline is a deathwish for the viewers. Ugh, a marriage proposal offered as a hypothetical. Bad form, Alan/Martin. If you're not willing to risk a negative response, keep it to yourself. On those FBI TV shows they use some kind of high-tech infrared scanning device on a drone. It flies over supposedly abandoned areas looking for heat signatures generally in the shape of people. Guess the GCPD mostly has to use the low-tech shoe leather and flashlight method. 🤠 Latest clue: "I mark my time in blood, sweat, and tears." The kidnapper must be a fan of 🎶Spinning Wheel🎶, lol. Shouldn't a person receiving CPR be on a relatively firm surface? Pretty much everything about the way that scene was staged seemed problematic to me. Phyllis could've done Sharon even more harm. Aw, Traci, now you're engaged to marry Alan/Martin. I want to be thrilled for you but... Chance sure was hogging Summer's personal space today. Is he trying to get another chance with her? Okay, that was quite an engagement ring. Not a classic Tiffany setting but I'll allow it. 😼 What the what!?!? Alan/Martin can eat sh!t and die. Poor Traci has no idea what a psycho she's been intimate with. It's like her version of Phyllis and Marco Annicelli.

Sigh, I usually try to avoid spoilers but my resistance was weak. Can't wait to see what kind of cockamamie backstory there will be for this development.

Claire told Kyle she'd never seen a James Bond movie. Heh, look at CBS throwing shade at Amazon. (Which now owns the rights to the James Bond media empire.) Victoria appeared to be wearing a fishing net adorned with sparkles. Poor thing clearly has more money than fashion sense. Miss Claire has had it about up to here with urban cowgirl Summer. Sorry Summer but Claire is way better at the manipulative tricks you're engaging in. You may win the current Kyle battle but she can play a long game. Holden is apparently a cocktail connoisseur. And he has Claire the barfly-in-training's attention. Chem test. Let's go! That's what I'm talking about, Claire. Daniel Craig = James Bond, baby. All day, every day. #fightme 😉 Chance. Anyone who went to the University of Law & Order night school knows the license plates on the mysterious kidnapper's van were probably stolen or altered. Useless much? Maybe what Phyllis drank had a macrodose of vitamin B12 in it. In my experience, B12 will give you a big boost of energy but then the rebound effect can lead to extreme fatigue. Aw, I bet tomorrow Claire's going to have Her First Hangover.™ New from Mattel!

Audra telling just enough truth to Nate to cover for what she isn't saying. Hmm. Something is definitely wrong, Nick? No duh. Bet you're itching to find someone you can punch to solve the problem. IMO Phyllis doing her lunges in those high-heeled boots was like a warped version of the Monty Python Ministry of Silly Walks. Audra, you're digging yourself into a bigger and bigger hole. Painting Holden to look like Damian's victim so Nate won't consider Holden a threat is a messy move. Nick said Ian was cremated. If we saw Ian wake up in the ambulance after being shot, whose body got reduced to ashes? Sounds like a stunt Phyllis would pull. Hey, maybe the kidnapper is Jeremy Stark! 🤡🤡🤡 I think a cornered mountain lion is going to exhibit fear, not anger. What looks like anger is actually panic and not necessarily a prelude to violence. You didn't think that analogy through, writers. Nate is starting to sound like an utter Pollyanna wrt Damian. Poor guy. Nick, you have no idea how crazy it is that you're working with Billy to solve the big mystery. Ask him about the time he had revenge sex with Summer. Oh wait...oops! "I am the beginning and the end" sounded like a twisted Biblical reference to me. Not cool, Disembodied Voice. Now Audra's letting Nate text Holden from her phone! I can't. Nate is going to dump her so hard when he finds out how much she's been scamming him.

The Sassy Wizard Kid. Careful, Quinta. Those Harry Potter fans will come after you. LinkedIn must've paid for product placement to get such a clear mention. They've been getting badmouthed a lot on the interwebs lately. Melissa pool-sharked Jacob. Wonder how much she took him for? Expecto Nowayo. Gotta file that away for future use. The end of the New Testament isn't all bad, Barbara. Depending on who you talk to, anyway. It's the getting though the Book of Revelation that's varying degrees of horrific. Barbara teaching the Old Testament in a public school isn't legal, is it? Aw, jealous Melissa, go get your fireman captain. Oh hell no, concerned PTA parent. Steve Harvey's entire oeuvre is a compendium of male supremacy, misogyny, and homophobia claiming to be good relationship advice. From a man who hasn't met a woman he could be faithful to. "Allies should be seen, not heard." No truer words, Jacob. Mostly.

Totally. I steadfastly believe the reason Victor calls Nikki My Baby and all those other corny endearments is because he can't remember her name.

Cold Open Adrien Brody deservedly catching strays. Pretty sure Stephen Colbert did the Elon shops at Jos. A. Bank joke last week. Did they put some kind of prosthetic on Mike Myers face? Something was different besides the pale makeup. Opening Monologue At least I knew who the host was this time. Lady Gaga's PR team is on fire because she's been everywhere lately. EGORT. Like an EGOT but hurtful. Lady Gaga seemed a tad nervous but it was fine. Poor Pip getting dissed by his classmates. Don't cry, Pip! All you have to do is try! A kid lifted 500 lbs? That was a joke, right? Whatever, Pip gave 2 ounces of FAFO. I actually gasped out loud at "I came into some money." Not sure how that got past the censors. L'Oréal Easy Run mascara was insane. They should've gotten Drew Barrymore to do a cameo, ha ha. First musical number: now Gaga has to try to outdo all the pop princesses who've been biting on her act. Looking at you in particular, Chappel Roan. (Madonna sends her regards.) Weekend Update 40 lbs or two buttfuls of fentanyl. Yikes either way. The Cookie Monster joke was 100% wrong, Che. For shame. Lord Gaga has a smaller waist than the Lady. WU was actually pretty funny this week I thought. I knew there was a reason why I don't want to go in Friendly's restaurants. They're satanic. Kali ma! Didn't care for Lady Gaga's second performance. Wandering around the backstage and office areas has been done enough. Wow on the finish though. She is extraordinarily agile. Little red glasses are a fashion don't. Good to know. "Blowing into the slay shots and vomiting into the mother bag." What does that even mean? Lady Gaga brought tons energy and was totally game. She can host again when she has another album to promote.

Me too. And I wish they'd stop mentioning Tucker if they have no intention of bringing him back. It's cruel, Show! That would certainly be a plot twist. Not sure what Mulva has against Sharon though. Maybe she's hoping Sharon will go nutz and kill Phyllis? They've already declared GC a hazmat site.

For a minute today I thought the DuPrees were going to do Kendrick's c-walk but then I remembered, they're way too saditty for that. 😏

WTH does Damian have on? Is he wearing a jacket inside out? Whatever, I'm convinced he buys his clothes at Dandies R Us. #notevenkidding Geez, not another scene of Victor holding court in his living room and Claire taking him on about Kyle. It got old after the first 937 times we saw it, JG. Diane stays looking for something to argue with Kyle about. Now it's not being asked to babysit Harrison. Yeesh. What the what? How was Jack ever Summer's uncle? Phyllis and Billy never married. 🤔 Audra, giiirrrll. You are setting yourself up to be blackmailed by Holden! He could threaten to tell Nate the whole truth about your Diddy party past with him back in L.A. Why did Damian insinuate today that his mommy had been in competition with Olivia for Nathan Hastings? We were already told that fling happened long before Olivia and Nathan got together. Nate even said he'd recently called Olivia to ask her. Huh? Okay, Claire finally a won concession from Victor that he'd accept her romance with Kyle. Or at least not interfere with it. That's amazing unless Victor was straight lying to Claire's face. SERIOUSLY, VICTOR???!!! The Abbotts don't envy you; if anything it's the other way around. You know they will always have the elite social status and public goodwill you've had to buy. There. It. Is. Nate finally caught a clue about Audra and Holden. Put on your tap dancing shoes, Miss Audra.

Uh oh. This is the 2nd time Claire has walked up on Kyle comforting Summer with a big embrace. AFAIC Claire better start a 3 strikes = Kyle's out rule. In case Devon had forgotten who he was, Damian called him "the famous Devon Winters." What a schmoozer, lol. But then Devon came back at Damian with knives out, baby! Let's go! Funny how people keep clarifying how Damian doesn't own the companies he's running, he's just the CEO. Not too long ago the Y&R writers were having trouble discerning the difference between owning and running. Damian, pull up! You're getting double-teamed by two of the most self-entitled citizens of GC. There is no argument Lily and Devon will ever let you win. Summer has an interesting read on Claire's unbridled ambition. I think most of it is her basic jealousy. OTOH, perhaps Summer's the first person who sees Claire's long-game regarding the Newmans and their empire. Well, the spumors that Aristotle Dumas is Tucker McCall pretty much got shut down today. Damian didn't seem fazed at all when Tucker's name came up in his convo with Devon. Nikki told Claire she loves all her grandchildren equally. Bet that'd be news to Connor. IMO Nikki doesn't seem much into her stepson Adam's kid. Wow, Damian got kinda snarky with Lily after she balked at scheduling another dinner date RIGHT NOW! Hmm. Claire won Grandma Nikki's assurances of steadfast support wrt Claire dating Kyle. She responded with wide, teary eyes that could melt the coldest heart. Except Grandpa Victor's, tee hee. (Wonder if Claire knows Victor has Kyle's dead cousin's transplanted heart in his chest? 🤔)

Sigh, Chelsea and Adam can't even do schmoopy right. Baseball can be bad for people with OCD. Okay. But yay for Connor getting himself little girlfriend. FFS, Victor. If you have a problem with Billy, take it up with him. Jack isn't Billy's keeper. Chelsea, let me assure you, Connor did not get his charming personality from you. Delulu much? Victor and Adam were being such insecure, whiny biatches about Abbotts today, I almost wanted to feel sorry for them. Almost. Yeah sure, Adam, you have a real company to run. The CEO seat your daddy handed to you for being Newman nepo baby. Your snap at Billy wasn't the flex you think it was. I thought Billy was being lowkey harsh with Chelsea about her renewed relationship with Adam. Again. At least she had a sense of humor about it. Not sure why Sally was shining Billy on about his press release. She made it sound like it was right up there with the Magna Carta or something. Whatever, one would think Billy has staff who'd handle stuff like writing PR. Listen to Nikki, Victor. Your hateful obsession with the Abbotts will only come back to hurt you, eventually. IMO Victor's sudden angry outbursts signal a possible medical issue, no?

Summer's top. Yee-haw, giddyup, and hi ho Silver! I get so distracted by that weird octopus painting in Billy's house. Interior decoration fail, Sally. Sharon, sweetie, Phyllis doesn't read books. Red probably hasn't cracked open a tome since she was in high school. If the answer to your captivity is in a book, you two are 50% screwed. But Phyllis, what if your captor is already enormously wealthy? They're not going to be motivated by offers of Newman money as a payoff. Daniel and Billy putting their heads together to figure out what happened to Phyllis and Sharon was laughable to me. Neither of them has reason to be particularly concerned about Sharon, and Billy isn't known to be analytical. Summer, maybe you should get your family to stop criming instead of expecting your ex the ace (😏)GCPD detective to look the other way when they do. Lol, Phyllis ready to take off her boots and earrings, put Vaseline on her face, and squabble up. I'd put my bet on Sharon in a physical fight though. She's been off her meds so she likely has tons of pent-up energy. Esther stays being a goofball. Is there such a thing as a coffee grounds guru? Air. Air is worth everything but cost nothing--on Earth, anyway. Feh on your silly riddles, Disembodied Voice. 😐

Billy's shirt. LOLWHUT? At least Sally was killing it in her bodycon outfit. Meanwhile, apparently Damian really likes velvet since this is the second jacket in a row he's worn made of that fabric. He might be a bit of a dandy. Yeah, Lily, taking it upon yourself to investigate Nate's new brother behind Nate's back was kinda shady. Especially since you got Victor involved. I noticed how the fellas at the housewarming get-together were knocking back brown liquor while the girlies had to sip frou-frou martinis. Hmm. Lily, who cares if Damian didn't mention he works for Aristotle Dumas? Geez, maybe his boss has him under an NDA. Calm down. Look at the Abbott brothers being so generous with their mutual toasts. John Abbott would be proud. Nate really didn't like finding out Lily had been meeting with Damian. Hey, Nate, wait until you hear what your girlfriend's been up to with Holden. You cain't trust these wimmens!!!! 😉😉 Gah, Diane, climb off Billy's @$$ about Phyllis. Your issues with Red are yours, not Billy's. Damian, please. The only thing you're thinking about is getting in Lily's pants. I see you, playboy. And so does Lily.

Little Margaret is definitely not awe of Barbara. And she's not Jesus either. Possums aren't the same as opossums. Learn something new every day. (Basically, opossum = Americas, Possum = Australia.) O'Shon showed up because Ava said there was flooded computer. Bet it wasn't only the computer. 😏 Okay, I want to hear the unbleeped version of what Ava said she'd do if things got up-close and personal with O'Shon. A dress, a blanket, and a napkin all in one. Dang, Greg, muumuus aren't that bad. Who hurt you? There's a Federal Reserve Bank in Philadelphia. Maybe O'Shon could arrange a private tour for him and Ava since she's a fan of banks. Sure. Ava is amazing with an Etch A Sketch. But why Tony Soprano? Whoo chile! Barbara's new look put together by Ava was stunning. She was working her Mary J Blige vibe. Was that a Tribble Mr. Johnson was holding? Oh boy. Hopefully they can't mate with guinea pigs. Mr. Johnson knows Cowboy Carter is about way more than wearing a big belt buckle and riding a broom horsie, right? I was hoping there'd be a mention of the Eagles' Superb Owl victory but maybe this episode was filmed before that happened.

Cold Open Mikey Day was not the best person to play Zelensky. He's too tall and thin. I would've brought back Beck Bennett for that role. They went in on JD. Wow. Tom Petty catching strays. Guess he'll never know though. Mike Myers was perfect casting! A little bit of Dr. Evil in his portrayal, which might have been deliberate. The DOUCHE joke was already out in the internet wilds last week. Monologue Still have no clue who Shane Gillis is. And again, this host is not great, especially having to laugh at his own so-called jokes. Does he have wrongful termination lawsuit against Lorne or something and this is the settlement? But ya are, Blanche, Shane. Ya are racist. (And misogynistic too, in my opinion. Ugh.) Michael Cera also catching strays. Narcissistic social media model was insane. An argument over Kendrick vs. Drake in a barbershop. Yeah, that's a losing bet. TSA agent too, although British actor Taron Egerton recently starred in a Netflix movie as a TSA agent who's White. Maple syrup on vienna sausages. Kill. Me. Now. Was Bridget the puppet actually there or were the kids only humoring their bad dad? Tate McCrae seems like a cookie cutter pop princess in the Taylor Swift cohort, with a touch of Lady Gaga on the side. She can dance though. I can see the Britney Spears comparisons. Weekend Update Letting ketamine take the wheel. Yikes. Is that true or just speculation? SNL's Cuomo jokes will write themselves. The writers probably have a back supply they haven't used yet. More Belichick's girlfriend jokes? Yawn. I wouldn't put a wager on your job security, Che. Just sayin'. I like Marcello but he mostly just does the bad Spanglish accent in different costumes. Whoever wrote that Beyond the Gates joke clearly hadn't watched the show. It's not who got beyond the gates, it's who hadn't. Nepo baby Jane Wickline's WU bits continue to make no sense to me. Her TikTok act does not translate well to TV. Ew on those taking payment in trade coupons. Angela has nasty credit all over town. Meh on Tate's second performance. Low energy. "Beef to teeth." OMG no. Wonder what the source of that skit was? I pretty much heard it all on a radio show last week. Surprised they let Mike Myers wear that shirt during the sign off.

Oh yes, I think its star, Yaya DaCosta, would be a great get for BTG. She might not want to return to daytime TV though. (Plus she's on a Netflix series.)

The thing is, Wagner's Wedding March is still considered problematic by many because Wagner was a known anti-Semite. His Bridal Chorus seems to go in and out of favor on daytime soaps. I know Y&R used it for a wedding a few years ago but they generally alternate it with other music. Heh, I understand. They threw out way too much information to be absorbed so early. Did the producers not focus group this because it seems to me they should've known a lot if not most viewers were going to feel overwhelmed. I'm mostly using this show as background noise now. I'll probably watch a full episode once a week but mainly I'll be keeping up via the soap forums and recap sites. I just can't do two hours of daytime soaps every day.

Yep. I guess Audra's backstory is made of LEGOs. The writers build one version, then a few months later knock it down and build something else. And the viewers randomly get to step on a LEGO brick barefoot and in the dark. Ouchies.

Right? It seemed so loud for a character who's been mostly lowkey until recently. Odd choice by the wardrobe people unless the writers are going to start buiilding a personality for him that's kind of extra. Would Lauren care that much about Sharon? Heh, right there with ya on Daniel's sweater though. Holey moley.

Yay, Sally & Billy being publicly official as a couple. 😍 Audra, you're not a good bestie. I think you should stop mentioning Phyllis and Adam to Sally. If Sally wants to talk about them, let her bring them up. Aw, Sally, you don't even know how much Billy is lying to you about his continuing to seek revenge against Victor. Sigh. "Transference," Audra? Sure, hon, if that's what you want to call being a sucker. Lol, Holden sure knows how to make a entrance. He swooped into Society like he expected to be greeted by paparazzi and cameras. Gosh, who is it who's up on all of Sharon and Phyllis' old mean girl battles with each other? My money was on Daniel but a lot that time he wasn't even living in GC. Holden, Audra doesn't need you covering for her to Sally. But obviously you don't know that, yet. Either way, mind your own business. There it is! Phyllis, you may want to dismiss it as ancient history but Summer lives on as evidence of your going after Sharon's husband. You actually did start the feud. Audra told Sally that back in L.A. Holden liked to "live on the edge." Things eventually got too edgy for her so she dumped him. Inquiring minds want to know: was it sniffing, snorting, or shooting? Swinging? Street racing? Shoplifting? 🤔🤡 Unless Nick has DID, I don't think he'd be leaving Sharon repeated voicemails if he was involved in her kidnapping. Maybe it's Chance, lol.

The funniest comment I saw on another soap forum about today's episode is that Daniel's sweater screams "kidnapper." I can't argue with that assessment. AFAIC the sweater is an utter fashion felony. 😏 Yeah, now I'm thinking it's either Daniel or Nick, or maybe they're in on the crime together.

That's the same outfit Sharon was wearing right before Valentine's Day, but Phyllis is in her 3rd outfit since Feb. 14. So what is the time frame of the kidnapping supposed to be? Was Chelsea barefoot? I don't recall her being so much shorter than Adam. Today she had to look upward at him like he was a god and she was a worshipper. So Chelsea cleaned up the kitchen. In that evening dress skirt and top.* Oh come on, Show. Okay, now I'm thinking the disembodied voice is either Daniel or Lucy. Not sure though how Lucy could've pulled two kidnappings off by herself so Daniel is seeming more likely. Maybe Lucy and Faith are helping him. 😵‍💫 Chelsea, trust me, Sally is not worrying about Adam. She's being well-tended to by Billy, thankyouverymuch. Get over yourself, Chelz. Huh, I would've expected 1337 h4x0r Phyllis to able to get past a phone lock without much effort. Phyllis wanted to use her one call for Summer? HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH! She might as well have contacted the Easter Bunny. OTOH, Nick should've known Sharon was lying on the phone by how fakey her voice sounded. Whatever, I again wonder why the Newmans et al don't have a code word they can use to indicate they're in trouble and need help. Sharon told Nick she was in Sedona. Didn't she have some misadventures there back in the day? Maybe Nick will figure out the clue. Sure. Man, Nikki and Victor are going to feel so dumb when they learn how wrong they were about Phyllis and Sharon's disappearance. Sorry, Nick, your mommy and daddy's advice is less than worthless. *Per Worn on TV.