Joimiaroxeu

At last we got the scoop on how Jordan and Ian met. It's about time. But OMG, the prison wall CGI was laughably awful. I noticed several of the female characters using vocal fry today. Wonder what that was all about? Nick might be right to be wary of Alan. Are psychologists bound by confidentiality rules if they're no longer practicing? Looks like Ian was working Jordan from the very beginning, starting with how he already knew who she was and exactly where to find her. Hmm, a supermax prison where male and female prisoners are allowed to intermingle. Is it really that easy to be put under hypnosis? Sharon could've been faking. A truck crashed head-on into Phyllis' car just so Sharon would be blamed. Seems unduly complicated IMO. And how does it hurt the Newmans if Jordan and Ian caused the accidents? Billy and Phyllis discussing in a public place a possible joint plan to take down Victor continues to make zero sense to me. Unless Billy is going to bring up the old Marco Annicelli thing, Phyllis has no reason to seek revenge on Victor. Jordan and Ian still arguing about who's calling the shots and who owes whom the bigger favor. Yawn. Wait, what? Ian wants Jordan to kill Sharon??!!??!! 😱😱😱😱

Demi's Texas accent is interesting. And they're still not doing closeups on Cami's face, lol. Wonder why Tommy doesn't keep his phone on him at all times? Ariana snitching on her ex with no hesitation. But at least she got distracted from signing the pathetic settlement check. Whoa, Angela's ex saw her coming, literally. She probably shouldn't have talked to his attorneys without her own lawyer present. Why should Angela's ex pay child support for Ainsley? She's not his kid. Are we supposed to be impressed by the Bentley? Sheridan practically caresses it with the camera. Is Angela's ringtone on Tommy's phone from Ride of the Valkyries? That's hilarious. And of course Angela walked in Cooper's hospital room and immediately made the moment about herself. Wonder why they call it the man camp? Are there no female oil workers? I can't believe Manuel thought he'd get away with beating up Tommy's son. He's probably going to wish Tommy hadn't left him alive.

Bet Angela's ex will love her using his credit card to pay for stuff for the previous ex. Ariana is working Cooper. She's lining up her next husband and he seems to be okay with that. Ariana's dog is bigger than Cooper, lol. Beer helps a woman's body produce milk? Sure, and produce a future alcoholic. A patch party. Booze, oil wells, and recent high school grads seem like big trouble waiting to happen. BBT telling somebody they don't know who they're fucking with will never stop being fantastic. A waste is that huge private jet flying one guy from Midland to Fort Worth. Good grief. Look at Angela and Ainsley wearing actual clothes for a change. Yeah, Angela is way past being a MILF. And her problem is not menstrual cycle-related, it's in her whackadoodle head. Manuel is probably as good as dead now. Poor Cooper. Rick should've known better than to stand on those pipes like that. What a horrible and unnecessary way to die.

Cold Open: Nancy Grace? Shouldn't she be off somewhere still screaming about Tot Mom? Luigi is a mordorer! Yeah, you could look at him and tell he had heaux. Everyone thought Emil would be playing Luigi but maybe he or SNL didn't want to go that far. Yet. Opening Monologue: Chris Rock. Well, this could go either way. What was with all the white poinsettias on stage? Sometimes drug dealers get shot. Yikes. Ditto on Jake Paul. Chris' makeup was not great. In a certain cultural vernacular, he looked ashy. Kirby the 1958 car was awful in multiple ways. If I ordered a Lyft and they showed up in a 1958 vehicle I'd be noping right out regardless. Was this sketch prompted by Stephen King's announcement last week? The Charlie the doorman sketch was a take on Chris' old joke about how sexual harassment rules only apply to guys who aren't attractive. Tom Brady did a SNL sketch on it too. I didn't recognize Gracie Abrams' name but once she started singing I knew the voice. Not a fan of the sort of yodeling thing she does. Apparently SNL is bringing on all the Taylor Swift acolytes this season. Bonus points for nepo babies. Weekend Update: My money would be on Jake Gyllenhaal to play Luigi in the inevitable Netflix movie but maybe he's too old. RBG must be spinning in her grave this week. Marcello as a bald guy in a turtleneck looked like Jeff Bezos to me. Teaching kids "porn literacy." What does that even mean? AFAIC Jane Wickline should not be mentioned in the same sentence as Sabrina Carpenter. That whole bit was a massive fail. SNL should stop trying to translate her TikTok stuff to broadcast TV. Signoff: A lot of meh on that stage, starting with Chris Rock and his apparent inability to read cue cards. I don't care if he ever hosts again.

MO posted on her social media that she got her hair cut in response to being put on recurring status by TPTB. She said since she's looking for work she needed to update her look. Hee. I was listening to an alternative rock station recently and heard the old Korn song, "Narcissistic Cannibal." I immediately thought of Phyllis. If Billy gets with her again he better have that song on repeat.

Judicial seclusion. Interesting euphemism for "prison." If someone's memory of the past 20+ years is wiped out, afterwards don't they wonder why they suddenly look so much older? I was surprised Juliette drank the soup Solo left for her. He might've put something harmful in it and wasn't simply trying to test whether she was real.

Aw, Lily and Devon hugged it out. Neil would be proud. Nate: Audra, how would you feel about spending some time with my family? Audra: do I open a vein before the meeting or afterward? Michael warned Phyllis she could be charged with obstruction of justice. Pretty please? Phyllis told Billy her fight with Lauren and Michael was just another "day in the life." Whose life, hon? Bane? Thanos? Dr. Evil? Melisandre? Whatever, it reminded me of my favorite Beatles tune: Whoa, Audra got pretty shook up by the Winters crew's talk of family connections. Maybe the show is finally going to tell us about her sketchy past. <fingers crossed> I did not have Billy being the no-nonsense voice of reason against Phyllis on my Y&R Friday bingo card. Or Sally being so supportive. Hmm. Re the previews: Alan/Martin vs. Sharon. Let's go!

Lol, Audra doing the walk of shame down the stairs from Nate's bedroom. Oh wait, there was no shame in her game at all. I was so glad Audra brushed Devon's rudeness off. Really? Like Claire is unable to dress herself? I can't with Nikki and Vikki. They could've just taken Claire shopping instead of making their huge self-aggrandizing statement with the surprise trove of clothes and jewelry. Apparently Lily doesn't care much about her brother or cousin. She hadn't even told them she was back in GC from her trip, and she only lives a few feet from Nate. Ugh, AFAIC Victor is utterly vile. Almost everything he said to Claire about the Abbotts has or can be applied to Newmans. Fortunately Claire didn't seem fazed by his loyalty test. Kyle, let it go! Your parents conned YOU, not each other. Move forward, nepo boy, and stop trying to undermine your mommy with your daddy. Audra, making a special effort to win over the Winters family is not the way you want to go. Ask Elena how well that worked out for her. Kyle declared to Jack, "Nothing will ever happen to Claire." Oy, that must mean something truly horrible is in store for her. Finally! Yeah, Lily realized her bills wouldn't pay themselves. And that no one else in town was gonna hire her but Devon, ha ha.

Lily lives in Devon's former penthouse. Abby and Devon moved to the Chancellor estate. Nate lives in a penthouse across the hall from where Lily lives. Daniel lives in the same building as Lily and Nate but on a different floor.

Lauren's gigantic chain link necklace. Wow. Just looking at it made my collarbone hurt. Right there with ya, Billy. Jack's latest corporate maneuvers are so convoluted you practically get tongue-tied trying to put them into coherent words and sentences. Victor's such a big ol' baby. "Wah, Jack wouldn't stay down after I thought I'd kicked his @$$. I'm gonna throw my pacifier at him! Wah!" Faith's hairstyle was interesting. And by "interesting" I mean: was it styled by a blind raccoon? 😼 Diane and Kyle rehashing the same discussion about Jack and Jabot and Glissade and the various ruses. Aarrggghhhh!!! Nah, Billy, you're not always the last one to know about Abbott/Jabot stuff. Abby's generally kept in a total family news blackout. Whoa, Sharon coming in hot! Seriously, why won't Phyllis and Daniel stay the fcuk all the way out of the coffeehouse if Sharon is such a problem for them? Oh come on. Victor publicly admitting defeat to Jack? Jack better not fall for it. #surejan

Caleb called Melissa, "Baby Girl." He is definitely Jacob's brother. Caleb was doing an amazing job of carrying that tray of wine glasses. I wonder if the glasses were actually glued to the tray? Janine and Greg in matching footie pajamas. No. Just no. Schemmenti cannolis are to die for. Almost literally. Gerald needs his dessert, dagnabbit! Big Dog Fire Bro, aka Melissa's sorta boyfriend. Mr. Johnson's "North Pole" strip club on Christmas Eve. I wonder if it's like those Spirit stores that only open right before Halloween and then close?

Arriving late to the party... Of course Jacob knew a Run-DMC song by heart. Did we know before now Jacob had been on the wait list at Morehouse? That is so Jacob. Sweet pea milk? Ew. Caleb is quite the schmoozer. He got on Melissa's good side with a quickness. Even Greg was impressed. O'Shon is kind and stuff during the winter holidays. (And he still foine AF. Go get your man, Ava.) What was wrong with Greg's hair? Looked okay to me. The kids killed it with their song and step dance! And yay for Kadijah being able to participate. Keith David as Ava's father!!!! 🥳🥳🥳

Dominic's poofy hair! Adorable. Everybody's baking cookies in Mrs. Martinez's kitchen lately. Today it was Ashley and Dominic; last week it was Kyle and one of his girlfriends. Hmm. Heh, if Audra says she feels good about Amy Lewis, I think Amy must be pulling a huge con. How did Ian know he'd find Mariah and Nick at Crimson Lights? Good grief, Sharon made more excuses for why Noah hasn't come home to be with her during her troubles. Hey Show, just kill Noah off. #notevenkidding That thing Abby gave Ashley looked like an oversized placemat to me but apparently it was of some cultural significance in Fiji. Okay. Phyllis stays being psycho. AFAIC her obsession with Sharon is textbook "game recognize game." And it's less than smart for her to keep threatening Sharon in public places where other people can hear her. Can PCP be traced to its source? Otherwise I don't see how anyone will connect it to Jordan. Not unless she drops a clue accidentally, say, a receipt with her name on it from Street Drugs R Us. Ashley's probably having nightmares because her subconscious knows Alan is Martin. 😉 Sharon wants to be hypnotized to recover the memories from when she blacked out during the car accident. Gee, what could possibly go wrong? Given what a scrambled mess her brain is right now, she might recall walking on the moon in 1969.

Kyle has always read to me as a guy who isn't particularly generous in bed. In fact, the actor seems lowkey awkward in those scenes IMO. Sometimes I wonder if certain actors aren't accustomed to displaying that kind of affection toward the opposite sex, if my drift is caught. Or maybe some actors just don't like performing that way in front of a camera. <shrugs> Yeah, it seems like some dialogue or maybe a whole scene was left out where it would've been indicated that Jordan was snooping in or near Sharon's house. As it is, this whole story arc with Jordan and Ian feels shoehorned in to me. Was anyone begging for the return of either of those characters?

Even Victoria's hair looked sort of reddish today. Wonder what that's all about? Is it the lighting? 🤔 Not a big surprise for Summer to want to undermine Claire's friendship Harrison. I think Summer should be ashamed of herself, trying to use an innocent child as a weapon. Does Ian seem kind of off to anyone but me? More off than usual, anyway. He acts like he's not fully in this reality. A win for Nick. He was right about Sharon's meds being tampered with. Yay. Whoa, Jordan seriously couldn't stand to see how well Claire has done for herself in GC. But what did she expect? Claire's been good at ingratiating herself from the beginning. PCP!!!!!! It's a wonder Sharon didn't throw half the town off a bridge. PCP is no joke. Kyle didn't know Summer and Chance had broken up. Don't people their age keep their social media current with status updates? Nick, Mariah, and Michael let Sharon leave home without following her. Geez, Sharon just learned some life-altering news and probably shouldn't be alone right now. Kyle is so messy, juggling Claire and Summer. This playboy wannabe can never simply be with one woman without keeping another one in his back pocket. Kinda looks like Jordan is trying to get Ian caught by the authorities, assuming he's on the lam like she is. But then he could rat her out too. Hmm.

That's what I've been saying for the longest! Claire and Adam would be ideal as partners-in-crime since they're both outsiders. Nikki only considers Victoria and Nick the true Newman heirs since they came directly from her and Victor's superior genes. 🤡🤡🤡 I am confused about Claire's hair because elsewhere I've seen it described as a shade of red. Whatever, it looks better than the dishwater blonde color she's had going on.

I agree that he looked a bit paunchy in the SNL gladiator costume. However, I figured that was part of the joke and the costume was constructed to make it look like it didn't quite fit him. He looked pretty good to me when he came out for his opening monologue. Also, according to the googles, Gladiator 2 was filmed between June 2023 and January 2024. Paul Mescal has probably stopped trying to maintain the physique he needed for that role. (Yes, I've given this too much thought.)

Cold Open: Wow, that was not the Hunter Biden portrayal I expected. David Spade had the vibe down pat. Juan Soto. A muscular man with a festive accent. Church Lady overstayed her welcome. Again I wonder whether Lorne owes Dana money or something. Opening Monologue: I knew who Paul Mescal is but in my mind I keep mixing him up with Pedro Pescal. Liked his shirt. How you doin', Paul? The Fighting Fat-Asses. U.S.A.! Paul does a decent generic American accent. Did the mom pierce her ear with a spatula? Michael looked good in that edge lord outfit. A singing gladiator with a dad bod. Flossing. Okay. The fake Lin-Manuel Miranda song kinda rocked actually. Capanelli's. Imagine the pastabilities! Spaghetti or not, they're gonna kill you! Treasure Guyland. Ew, scurvy. Not what you want to see at a strip club. Meh, Shaboozey. I am beyond tired of hearing him non-stop on the radio. He can actually sing though. Weekend Update: Girl, that shooter hot. Lucky S. Bechalive. Sorry, SNL, you weren't going to top reddit for jokes about the CEO killer. Heard the squirting cucumber joke earlier last week. Laboot-ins. Wonder if those were real Louboutins or SNL just painted the soles red? (Which might be copyright infringement?) Courtoom sketch. I didn't get the Devo hats reference but otherwise it was an interesting reach back to a Better Call Saul episode. Ehh, Shaboozey wasn't doing so great singing his one hit song. A few missed notes in there. All the Spotify Wrapped lists I was seeing last week mostly went right by me because I don't use Spotify. It's a great advertising concept though. Closing Is Shaboozey that tall or was he wearing heels? He towered over most of the people on the stage. Paul did a great job. He was enthusiastic and game, and didn't stumble over the cue cards. AFAIC he can host again.

Heh, don't worry, Nikki. Claire will be learning enough to take over the whole NE empire eventually. She didn't earn an MBA from Wharton for nothing. The rest of you Newmans will be sitting around with your thumbs up your hineys. Nikki and Phyllis have both worn royal blue recently. Quite eye-catching. Victor: get out of the way, Summer. I need to take a dump in Kyle's breakfast. Summer: okay, Grandpa! Bye! Kyle: mornin', Victor. Mmm, I love the smell of b.s. in the morning. It smells like...you. Summer, you ain't slick. Claire saw right through your attempt to make her envious over the time you spent with Harrison this morning. Man, if ever there was moment when someone clearly wanted to launch at someone else's throat but had to restrain themselves. IMO that convo between Claire and Summer at the coffeehouse was an entertaining exercise in sly double-meanings and innuendo. <golf claps> Of course Victor claimed he knew all along Diane and Jack were faking their breakup. This. Frigging. Guy. 🙄 And there it is. You knew better, Jack! You did more than poke the bear, you threw raw meat at him by letting him find you having tea in his living room. Nikki may be your friend but she is not worth incurring Victor's insane wrath. But whoa, Jack left Victor speechless with the news about Glissade. Daaaannnnggg!!! <thunderous applause>

What amuses me about the guys' hair is how from one commercial break to the next it will look wet, look dry, and then look wet again. As if in the middle of a conversation they pull out some product and touch up their hair. Who does that? For a long time it seemed like the show barely acknowledged Billy and Phyllis had been lovers because there was a different actress playing Phyllis then. I guess JG decided, "Hold my beer." Who wants to see JT and MS acting that?

What in the world was that schmatta Phyllis had on? And again with the thumb holes in her sleeves. I don't see anyone wearing that look but her. I'm with Billy: exactly why is Adam trying so hard to be all up in Sharon's life again? Sally's hair looked nice. Kind of an old school screen siren vibe. Meh about her coat though. Faux fur cuffs and collar on a midi or maxi length reads disco era to me, and not in a good way. I was surprised Phyllis admitted she'd been having flashbacks of a truck coming at her car right before the big accident. The revelation could eventually help to exonerate Sharon. Gah Billy is a jerk. "Sally, I may have recently graced your cooch with my peen but it meant nothing to me. In fact, I barely remember what happened. Don't catch feelings." Lucky for him Sally doesn't appear to be eager for a repeat. Bye, Christine. Take Lucy back to Toronto with you, mkay? Faith would much appreciate it. Oh stop lying, Billy! Abby's wedding dress was horrible and know it. You were just sucking up to Sally because she doesn't treat you like scum. Wow, Phyllis. You need some peanut butter to go with your jelly? Since when do you care one way or another about who Billy sleeps with? I'm glad Sally was unbothered when Phyllis tried to throw shade. I don't get why Adam has to argue with Nick about giving support to Sharon. Sharon is a grown@$$ woman and can make her own choices about whose generosity she accepts.

OMFG, why are Diane and Jack still having arguments about Kyle? It's as if they can't simply decide to live in peace. Kyle. Boy, bye. The last thing Faith should ever do is discuss her problems with you. She'd get better advice from the bots on reddit. Thank goodness Michael explained to Nick why giving Sharon's medication to Chance to have tested at the GCPD forensics lab was not a smart idea. Nick went from hero to zero, though he was determined not to admit it. TMW you catch a whiff of the afterglow wafting off your ex and his nanny girlfriend in the middle of Society. 😱 The "excuse me, wut?" face Summer made was perfect. Sigh, I wish Faith hadn't been subjected to Lucy's vitriol about Sharon. Seems like it really got to her. All Faith has tried to do is be Lucy's (undeserved, IMO) friend. Heh, slow your roll, Jack. Odds are, when you gloat to Victor about snatching up the discarded pieces of Glissade, he'll sneer and say of course you did. Then the other shoe will drop.

Yep. And this would be the last thing Phyllis would see:

A cheap-looking Hermès-like print, IMO. Nikki's silk blouse also featured a chain print and it cost almost as much as Sharon's maxi dress. I think Sharon is one of the most consistently badly dressed women in GC.

Kyle said he's getting Diane a purse for Christmas. Given the way he's treated her it better be a Birkin. Just sayin'. Is Ian losing his marbles? Even through the door's peephole, Jordan's disguise shouldn't have stumped Ian if he's been living in close quarters with Jordan. I think Faith is another one who needs to stay away from Phyllis and Phyllis' kin. Nothing good can come from her trying to talk to them. Today proved that just like her Grandma Pee Pee, Lucy has no filter on her mouth. Nick is a wealthy man. Seems to me he could hire a PI to look into the mess Sharon is in instead trying to get Chance to work it from the inside the GCPD. That's not Chance's job, especially since the case has been turned over to the DA. I still don't get why Ian is so mad at Sharon he's (probably) tampered with her bipolar meds. Huh? Didn't Claire tell Kyle she was a virgin weeks ago? Whatever, I hope they used at least two kinds of protection. The last thing Claire needs is to be pregnant with Kyle's baby. Whoo, Ian and Jordan's relationship is hella weird. They might end up trying to kill each other, lol. Oh noes, will Claire pick up on Jordan's nearby presence or is she too enthralled with cherry poppin' Kyle? 😈