Empress1

As their dreamy vacation comes to an end, the couples have heart-to-hearts before returning to Charlotte and entering a new phase in their relationships.

Yeah, Jessica looks very high-maintenance.

I think she said things “got hot” but they didn’t have sex.

Especially when it comes to kids. You don’t want someone in your kid’s life who doesn’t want to be there. Kids/no kids is a fundamental compatibility issue and should be treated as such. I’m someone who likes to talk about the big compatibility issues very early - before the first date, in some cases, if we’re talking about apps (I screen out certain things).

Trevor called her on it too. He was like, well, that sucks for Jimmy. Clay talks a lot about how he needs what AD brings/does, but nothing about what he can do for her aside from telling her she needs to work out, which was really rude. I don’t like him. Chelsea and Jimmy are both annoying. She’s really needy, and I think part of that is feeling that Jimmy’s not that into her. Jimmy is just kind of tactless and clearly not that into her. It was so gross. AD was graceful about it but it was really gross. Chelsea said she made an uncomfortable situation more comfortable… comfortable for who, Chels? Probably not AD.

I really need for the people doing the dumping to stop talking about how hard it is for them. It’s like when you’re being laid off and your boss or HR says how hard it is on them - you still have income, shut up. I’m also not sure how I feel about Laura hugging Sarah when Sarah just got dumped for her (there’s something about Laura I don’t like). Jimmy turned and looked at the camera when he saw Chelsea and I just thought “ouch.” He said she’s gorgeous; he doesn’t mean it. (Jimmy is … very average-looking.) He keeps saying how happy he is and how gorgeous she is, and “not that it matters!” like 75 times. He’s trying to convince himself. Why is he talking about Jessica?! At length! Shut up! So cringe. I don’t see it at all. Jessica looks more like Megan Fox than Chelsea does.

Jessica was right telling Jimmy she can’t know how he feels unless he says it (she has nothing to go on but his words!), and when she said she wasn’t going to beg him. I felt bad for her when Laura was telling her she needed to leave; it didn’t seem kind coming from Laura for some reason. Jessica wasn’t giving Jimmy anything in their last conversation, and good for her, although “you ruined this for me” is a bit much. There’s always a risk that you will fall for someone who doesn’t feel the same way. That’s life. Kenneth and his bride … I don’t see it. I did like when she replied “all the time” when he said “God is good.” That’s the right answer. 😀 Jimmy must be very charming when he talks because I don’t see … much, with him. He’s not particularly attractive (though I know they don’t know that) and he’s not a particularly engaging conversationalist, and he’s kind of wishy-washy. Clay and AD … kind of rooting for them because I like her, but they’re giving Paige and Chris from Married at First Sight, which is not a good thing. He doesn’t seem serious. He was all about himself and her looks when they met. “I’m gonna need to be babied” gave me the ick.

He would not and should not. He seems very confident in his looks and presentation. You could tell Brennan was having a hard time with the earrings thing - he kept asking if Michael was joking about wearing Chloe’s earrings. He isn’t, and the right woman for Michael would be like “sure, wear my earrings, they look good on you.” I wouldn’t ask this. Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to and all that. She already knows he’s not attracted to her, and I’m not sure what would be gained by her hearing, like, “your acne turns me off.” I think Austin is too nice a guy to say something like that, which is why he’ll give her the generic “you deserve someone who feels the same way you do” brush-off, which is about as kind as she can hope for - and she does deserve that. She seems very into Austin but being with someone who doesn’t feel the same way you do is really depressing, and at this point it’s not going to get better.

Ugh. Reminds me a little of when Claire Danes had a kid and decided her character on Homeland needed to be a mother, even though her character Carrie was the last person who should parent (she ended up giving custody to her sister). Marty at least will be a good dad (I assume he will be; while Gemma miscarried, I don’t think this show would go there with an abortion) but I just … don’t see the point. Even if she weren’t an employee, it’s too messy. I’m on the older end of the millennial generation and I hate offices with games and shit (though free snacks are cool). I just want to do my job and go home, in a reasonable amount of time. I work primarily remotely so it’s not an issue, but to me, work/life balance means I have a life outside of work that I have enough time to pursue, not that I spend all my time at work playing air hockey.

Jeramey (that spelling is killing me) and his Henley shirts made me laugh. I like Henley shirts on men. I literally said “DRAG HIM” when AD immediately called Matthew on his shit when they got into the pod. She looked great in the pink crop top and black jeans. Body was - odying. I can’t lie: Clay being like “who’s Matthew - wait, THAT dude?” had me rolling.

Amen. I say the same thing about Married at First Sight. Further, if I were the ex/co-parent, I’d freak out. You met this person a week ago and they’re now my kid’s step-parent? Living in the house with them? Let me tell you what we’re NOT going to do. Her telling men she dates she has a kid should be the first thing she says, if her kid is “the most important part of [her] life.” It makes it look like she’s hiding it. Poor Jimmy. He seemed totally beaten down. Rude as fuck! I thought he was so cold and unfriendly, although I did laugh when he told the story of him telling his therapist he was doing the show. I like AD a lot - she seems like someone I’d be friends with. I hope she finds someone good. When Matt said he’d been thinking about her all the time I went “aww,” but THEN. Same lines verbatim?! Clay. Sir. What show do you think this is? Get on Tinder and keep it moving. Not a lot of bras! Also I keep hearing my grandmother’s voice saying “take your feet off the furniture.”

Finally watched the episode. I would not entertain conversation with Orion if I were Lauren. They knew each other ten days. She owes him nothing. I love when she said her head was like “this is bullshit.” (I don’t tend to stay friends with exes.) Austin is 31 and if I recall correctly Becca turned 32 during filming, so they’re the same age. It is so depressing to hear her ask Austin to flirt with her. Repeatedly, over an extended period of time. I’d have stopped asking long ago. Michael has some nice arms! He was killing it at the obstacle course (which I thought looked like fun).

To be fair, waiting around a hospital is boring. I spent about six hours with my mom in the ER a few months ago (she’s okay) and a lot of it was boring. He’s totally not into her though; I don’t know that he did anything most people wouldn’t do. I’ve called 911 for strangers before.

Aren’t Emily and Brennan a year apart? She’s 29, he’s 28. That’s not an age difference. I don’t think Austin and Becca are far apart either (I know she’s 32 but I forget how old he is). Lauren is four years older than Orion, which can be a big gap at their ages, but they’re broken up. They’ve said they make out, and there have been some shots of them kissing and then one of them kicks out the camera crew. I had plans last night so missed the episode; are they back from the retreat?

No idea how Becca feels about her body (for what it’s worth, she’s not skinny/toned but many women her size and bigger have found love, and she’s not even that big), but Michael dresses that way on purpose. It’s a very cultivated wardrobe/style. It would be easier to dress the way Austin and Brennan do (very basic, jeans, t-shirts, button- downs) than the way Michael does. If he wanted to dress differently, he would. He clearly doesn’t. Nor should he, in my opinion.

Austin is going to give Becca the “you deserve someone who feels the same way about you” parting line on decision day. I’ve been saying it for months. He wants to like her That Way, but she just doesn’t give him butterflies. I don’t think it’s about him moving slowly re: sex - he may indeed move this slowly all the time, but with Becca I think he’s just plain not into her. I think he’s tried/is trying to be (that’s the difference between him and Brennan - Brennan has been done since they got back from the honeymoon and actively dislikes Emily), but if it’s not there it’s not there. To paraphrase the very wise Bonnie Raitt song, you can’t make someone love you if they don’t.

He played someone they thought was a serial killer in the most recent Scream movie.

And Clare does not dress well unless she’s dressed up - her casual clothes are odd and don’t flatter her. I haven’t forgotten those huge jean shorts and macramé shirt. She tends to wear big boxy things, which don’t work well on her short frame.

Those little gestures really do it for me (one of my love languages is acts of service). I thought it was really sweet I think that IS what it means. The ATV place may have had them sign waivers too. Agree. I would have long since stopped asking. Once or twice I’d try to initiate, and after that, he knows where to find me if/when he’s ready. I’m not begging anyone to have sex with me, unless begging is part of the sex. 😉 It’s got to be so painful to keep getting rejected, and I wouldn’t set myself up for that. Clare said she didn’t take Cameron’s silence personally and like … maybe she should? I’ve been assuming they’re done. I don’t know if the plan is to reconcile, but Cameron doesn’t seem interested. Michael and Chloe are the only people acting like a couple on the couples retreat. Ain’t that some shit? And Lauren and Orion don’t need to be there.

His personality is the best of the guys - sweet, understanding, intelligent. He has a high EQ. I don’t think I knew that he’s half Filipino, half Greek until this episode. If Brennan did complain that Emily was trying to make him fall in love with her … ouch. That is the entire point of the show. If he’s complaining about that possible outcome, girl, he don’t want you (which we know). And if he’s complaining about that possible outcome, that outcome is off the table. No one who wants to fall in love would say that.

Their outdoor space was GORGEOUS. I loved it. The home was beautiful too, but I really loved the outdoor. I wondered about that because some of the stuff with their house was an easy fix - a coat of paint would have done a lot. I think they were kind of going through the motions.

He’s a fucking fool.

Set that green tiger print shirt on fire.

I think Justine has three - she mentioned them when she was talking about her pregnancies. Michael might have four. Jesus. I’m one of two do when I hear more than two I’m like “that’s so many!!”

They have so many fucking kids. What, 7? Three his, three hers, one theirs?