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I didn't understand the point of the photography scenes but was relieved that he didn't end up banging the mother or daughter or both.

Where are they available online to watch?

My default is: "The opposite of whatever Cilona says."

I was surprised Marc ended up editing out the personal discussion with Michelle because it would have been much buzzier show with it in, but good for him. Growth! But (a) he should have kept the chair, and (b) those were drapes, not curtains.

It's disappointing that we never see the results of the skin removal surgery -- how big of an improvement was there? With two interminable hours of air time, we certainly could have been given a more cohesive explanation of what happened to the twins, and the timeline. I'm ready to believe they took over the parental care role for their younger sisters, but there had to have been some outside help and money coming in. Living in their car must have been several years later. Were we ever told what they do for a living now? It was interesting that identical twins gained and lost weight at pretty much the same pace. It's not like they ate the exact same meals for 10 years, but their metabolisms managed to even everything out.

I'll admit to skipping a lot, but how does any married couple in America (aside from the Duggars) function when one spouse knows absolutely nothing about their shared finances? Zero? The blond wife was so worried that her husband would screw things up due to never giving one single shit about money, apparently. The premise reminded me of the parable of the bonfire -- every person in the world is able to throw all their troubles into a bonfire but they have to take one out to keep. Everyone then takes their own trouble back, because the devil you know. I assume the financial divisions will be slightly different in each episode, but in this one at least, both couples would rather maintain their own miserable status quo than think of themselves as being worse off than the other family.

They aren't the Everly Brothers, that's for sure. They put so much of the singing burden on Jessica but her voice, while pleasant enough, is kind of weak and thin. Same for Jair, which was highlighted when he had took the lead on When Will I Be Loved. Nice as they all seem, I'm pretty sure they'd sell their souls for stardom. There's a white-hot, steely ambition underneath those good looks.

At least Ryan R admitted in one of his talking heads that he's been acting like a whiny baby. Why yes, sir. Jaclyn's black and white striped dress was adorable. That's all I got.

"Stay in the pink, please." Sent me into a doubled over coughing fit. Mary Lynn's flat certitude sold it.

Yes, Chris. By all means, give us the sadly disappointed face because Raymond only lost 97 pounds in 3 months. I want to know how two 13-year olds managed to support a family of four without anyone knowing/caring they had no parents. What a couple of amazing people.

Does anyone know if the Boomer Lives logo means Boomer came home or is it meant more as a rallying cry? I prefer Maron to Louie as well, although they both share the same bleak outlook about comedy gig road trips.

Why didn't any of the detectives recognize Milt's car? All I remember him driving is the black SUV, so was the sedan supposed to be his personal car that he never drove to work and nobody knew about? Also, steel armored underplating or not, the inside of that car was hella torn up for its occupant to have walked away unharmed except for a bandage on his wrist.

I didn't have anything against Simone but really like Damiano so am glad he stayed. I'm a philistine, I guess, because I thought his plating was nice and best exemplified the silly challenge. Better than "the white is inside," anyway. Although the judges didn't think it tasted that good, either. Maybe for the next iteration, Damiano's brother should compete. I'm tired of hearing about that guy.

I don't know how far in advance the episodes are filmed, but I prefer to think that this was intended to be the season 1 finale so of course Milt survives. Although I also gotta say that if there had been a Season 2 I would have been slightly disappointed that Milt's secret was revealed, just because I enjoyed Russ gnawing at it on a constant loop in his head. I loved Russ angrily telling Milt that yes, he and Holly were dating! Milt: "Uh, okay. Not important." Meredith's zing about cameras in the evidence locker made me laugh. I'll miss her and Russ hating on each other. There's talk online about a couple of other cancelled shows being shopped to Netflix or wherever, but no buzz about Battle Creek. Gah. The last time I was this bummed was for Reckless.

From Barbara's AMA: "In my opinion Robert should come out of the closet." I assume she was serious? If so, I think it's none of her business to blab that.

I didn't watch Two and a Half Men, but wasn't there also a kerfluffle with the child actor badmouthing the show or something? Was he kicked off?

Was there anything in the montage of Merrill Markoe? I know the main focus was the CBS years, but still.

I was kind of surprised how expensive those houses in Fiji were, considering that Taveuni is primarily an agricultural island. The husband seemed like he basically wanted to be a beachcomber so he wouldn't have to work any more. Not sure what kind of "odd jobs" he thinks will support his family for the foreseeable future but good luck to them. The "realtor" trying to sell them on the convenience of living right next to the village store with the loud generator day and night -- nice try. This is my own bias speaking because I lived in the South Pacific and Micronesia for 10 years, but I couldn't bear it there without air conditioning. Those damned louvered windows offer zero security and as you noticed, no screens. Mosquito netting is right.

This isn't a particular episode, but for a character who's ostensibly from Connecticut, Heaton sure lets her own Midwestern accent fly. Bugs me every single time.

The $200K bride -- my only comment is that if Pnina purposely didn't add crystals to the MOB dress because of alternation concerns, why didn't her boutique manager know about it? Fake drama! Were all the bridesmaids' dresses the same? It didn't seem like it from the brief glimpse we got of them on the racks, but we only saw the one "lost" dress. I find Yukia and Yuneisia on Curvy Brides very funny and refreshing so am happy to have them hog the show a little bit.

For travel, Africa. I know it's not but I persist in imagining the entire continent as barren and dry. Zero interest in safaris or seeing animals in their natural habitats. For HH, I'm weary of everything Caribbean. Hibiscus and bouganvillea, palm trees, native wood cabinets, tile floors, cross breezes, kill me now.

Surely there must be places in the world that are remote and peaceful other than the Moroccan desert. The HH was pleasant enough but I honestly don't see a lot of other artists sharing her vision to live/vacation in a sweltering, dry, bug-infested place that requires an 8-hour drive to get to. Just watching it made me thirsty.

Which is ironic now since Ryan is the one who's getting the brunt of the public's disdain.

Thanks to Tara for reminding me about Dave being forced to have all the Survivor cast-offs on the show ... he eventually made them stand on the side of the stage while Stephanie asked them if they had seen or touched any monkeys. And I laughed, every week.

I started fast-forwarding about 10 minutes in, pausing only when there was a question on the screen. And it still took forever. I rechecked to make sure it really was only 60 minutes because it sure seemed longer. *Sound of me dropping the mic*