Birdee

I loved Kail's voice there. It's the same one I just when my toddler wants me to look at something and I'm the middle of cooking dinner. I don't know why I found it funny, but I totally did.

I think y'all have pretty much covered everything, but I wanted to add my two cents-- Larry talking to Briana after the fight: "I know there's a lot going on in your head right now." No there's not, Lare. If brains were dynamite, she couldn't blow her nose. I don't blame Chelsea for taking off. I wouldn't have blamed Leah or anyone else either. That was trashy and I'd be embarrassed to be connected to this show even tangentially. Speaking of embarrassed, do you think Lauren, Javi's new baby mama, ever wakes up and wonder WTF she's gotten herself into?

By nurse I think they actually meant "someone who wears scrubs to work," which could translate to answering phones at the office. That's what I think. Plus, maybe being pregnant was making her super-emotional and she didn't trust herself to talk to Mama Lind? I know when I was pregnant I had to hold back tears when the sub shop ran out of olives. An actual confrontation (which is what she was most likely expecting) would have sent me over the edge and really pissed off Mr. Birdee.

That's going to be a quick dip in a shallow pond.

That's not a compliment, Kail. Or something that most people would share with the whole world. I would be mortified if someone said that to me.

Same here. The cavalier attitude was too much, even for her. As a gun owner who has pulled her weapon for actual protection (not just being an idiot) I can't believe how calm she was. I didn't fire mine, thank God, but I was still incredibly shaken up. I didn't even drive myself, let alone my child home. I used to hope the was an actual spark of humanity in her, but I've given up on that. Sure, rub in your amazing vacation ;) Our pediatrician does this and it's really helpful. Instead of asking if we're all sleeping OK or if Baby Birdee is eating enough, he asked the amount of sleep and an example of a day of meals. It really makes you think and helps you put stuff into perspective. At first we thought he was just being nosey, but when you think about it, it makes sense. I heard that too, and I'm not surprised. I was surprised to her Ali say she wasn't "feeling well" as opposed to the standard hollar speak of "I ain't feelin' good."

Holy Jesus God, Leah. Ryan's face is something to behold. Did his head swell that much or did his facial features somehow shrink and start to collapse on themselves? I know weight gain and bloat can do weird things to your body, but that is just....odd.

There are a lot of stupid people in this world.

We've officially jumped the shark, right? That aside, I'd be scared to get in the ring with Lindsey and maybe Kail and Farrah could knock each other out simultaneously and give us all a few minutes of peace (and some really great gifs!).

Maybe there will actually be some consequences this time and everyone will have to face Ryan's issues. And I bet Mack Truck and Mimi Jen are losing their damn minds right now.

I think she quit school about 2 episodes after she started. She paid lip service to doing online classes, but I don't think she ever actually signed up for them. In fact, I think she was toying with this idea about the time she quit school--the latest time.

I'd bet my right foot she settled for that ugly-ass pair of shoes and $50. I legitimately snort-laughed at this. I can see Farrah having poor Daddy Derek stuffed and hauling him around on her and Mowgli's zany adventures...

I'm glad they got Ali some less cult-leadery glasses, but can we talk about that lipstick? That is a very aggressive red for a kid to be wearing, no? I mean a little lipgloss is one thing, but those are some full-on lipstick lips.

Damn it, Randy. Part of me really wants to tell you to grow up, but the other part of me loves knowing that tweet is pissing of Jenelle and her swampy soul mate.

Someone might enjoy Roxanne? Do these people actually exist. I can't imagine having to spend any amount of time around her or her offspring without drinking myself stupid or gouging out my own eyes with a spoon.

As a former 38DDD/E girl myself, I can't believe she doesn't wear a bra. Hell, I even slept in them. That much boobage is HEAVY. If she does get the surgery though, it's the one thing I won't begrudge her. It was the smartest thing I ever did.

My Kindle randomly downloaded that for me. I might have to give it a try! In somewhat Jenelle related news: 1) There's a salon in my hometown that is running a special for hair feathers. Apparently it's either still a thing or my trashy, methy hometown is made up of Jenelle supporters. 2) A college friend is married to UBT's doppelganger. She and I just recommend to Facebook and I saw his photos. He looks just like David--crazy tall, big beard and all. But...he's a lawyer. Like an honest-to-God bar-passing, doing-good-for-the-community lawyer. It's weirding me out.

Durrh. Can't believe I missed that.

I'll eat mine if she knows it's "chess" and not "chest." And apparently she doesn't mind using the "plain, white onesies" either... Have we figured out this clusterfuck of a timeline yet? He had to have sex with Baby Mama 2 right around this time, right? She looks way too far along for Javi to have been all about Bri, then hooked up with Kail, then gone back to Baby Mama #2 and gotten her knocked up.

Right?!? In what world is this acceptable behavior? I mean, yeah, if my husband was in an accident and was unable to perform tasks like cleaning his face, cutting his food, feeding himself, etc., I'd totally do it. Marriage is being in 100%, but I'll be damned if I would willingly take care of a manchild because he's a druggie and an idiot. If I were her, I'd probably become a recluse and hope everyone forgot I existed.

I have three and I can unequivocally (or "unequibikally" if you're these goobers) say that Kail is is an idiot.

Oh, Kail. You did no such thing. Your sons' dads made a decision and you have no choice but to abide by it because the law doesn't give a shit about your "fame." So Kail was really annoying me the other day with her #kailandthechaos nonsense so I went to see if I could buy the domain out of pure spite. Turns out it's already purchased. I'm sure she's planning on launching a huge lifestyle empire any day now.

Good for Jo and Vee ( and I guess Chris too)! I'm giving Kail zero credit for making this decision. I bet she's pissed that Jo and Chris have any say and have done something that might reduce her paycheck. I'd like to think Javi will do the same. There's no point in filming a Teen Mom who can't be shown with her kids, right? It really looks like this show is on its last leg. What are we all going to start watching now so we can still snark together? I just discovered the whole 90-Day Fiance thing...

What?!? You mean swampy land might not be the best place to just plunk down a home with no land prep or planning?!? I really hope the ground opens up and swallows these jackasses whole.

I love how Adam wanted to start his own business, he just wasn't sure of what that business was. I can just picture him making vinyl cutouts for protein shake bottles and selling them on Etsy.